Это видео недоступно.
Сожалеем об этом.
How women DISRESPECT men without realizing it: understanding power
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
This is an episode for the ladies. As I've mentioned elsewhere, the one thing you must never do to the man with whom you want to have a relationship is disrespect him. Unfortunately, respect can mean different things to men and women -- so it's important for women to appreciate respect through the masculine lens so that they can stay on the sunny side of the unbreakable rule. The fact of the matter is that women unintentionally sabotage their relationships when they disrespect men without realizing it. As we'll see, most of these unintentional slights have to do with placing themselves above men.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanps...
Social Media
Facebook: p...
LinkedIn: / orion-taraban-070b45168
Instagram: / psyc.hacks
Twitter: / oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanps...
Orion's Theme: • Enrico Deiana - Orion'...
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tap....
GRE Bites: / @grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
/ @psychacks
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #dating
This is an episode for the ladies. As I've mentioned elsewhere, the one thing you must never do to the man with whom you want to have a relationship is disrespect him. Unfortunately, respect can mean different things to men and women -- so it's important for women to appreciate respect through the masculine lens so that they can stay on the sunny side of the unbreakable rule. The fact of the matter is that women unintentionally sabotage their relationships when they disrespect men without realizing it. As we'll see, most of these unintentional slights have to do with placing themselves above men.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: ruclips.net/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/видео.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #dating
This video is fundamentally wrong-headed anyway. Women breezily disrespect men all the time but it's not really what is at the heart of the matter. The problem of disrespect is downstream of a more significant issue and that is the horrendous mismatch in requirements between male and female partners.
Women have a huge laundry list of reasons for getting into a relationship with a man. They view a man as an endless performer of tasks.
Men have practically zero requirements of a female partner and seek a relationship mainly for intimacy.
The solipsistic idea women have in their head of all the tasks a man should be performing/ways in which he should be "behaving" (essentially in support of her and her objectives) renders many of them unable to act respectfully. This is because-in many regards-the idea of his being sovereign and independent is completely in conflict with the myriad acts of service she wants him for in the first place.
This is women's problem to resolve. It's not a man's fault. The 'respect' thing is dealing with the symptoms, not the cause.
@@sammyb1651this video is in a series of videos for “attracting the man you want” and he usually is a high value man. If I woman is overtly disrespectful and is not interested sex with you, she doesn’t really want you. Move on 😅
Ok Orion, I’m here to learn about power ☺️🙏🏻
Dr. Orion,
I'm glad I've tried to do the difficult work of understanding my own faults as a man these last three years, or i would have been triggered AF by this episode. Maybe I'm just in a particularly good mood today 😂. But - DAMN.
I wish my ex could watch this and not instantly go an insane raging murderous defensive, as she would, though she would absolutely never make it past the first minute. At least it helped me, and i still think that your compassion for EVERYONE is very touching. As always, 🙏🏻 thank you sir 🫡
The way Orion lays this out is some kind of coping mechanism for men who are not high value men. Not sure why Orion want to sugar coat the truth to men. Women are INCREASINGLY filling the provider role of men which was UNIQUELY a male role for a millennia. If women are ( and rapidly at that) out providing and being equal to men in providing then men in ROMANTIC relationships with women , men are going to be disregarded and/or not needed. Providing is essential part of power and love for a woman. If a woman can fill your unique role then you're replacable. Most companies practice this in the real world. Orion needs to cut to the chase and stop obfuscting because it makes his audience feel better. It's the reason for why women initiate more divorces (70%) and why the sexless rate for men is near 33%. I'm not for or against anything but as women start out earning men (Goldman Sachs predicts in 10 years) the sexlessness for men will probably creep higher.
I think the fundamental problem with this video is that if she is disrespecting you she doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't disrespect her boss because she wants her job and the money. Disrespect is the first step on the journey to the end of the relationship.
And that’s why I treat the women im around poorly. Because I never wanted them to begin with, which explains why they all crush on me
@@marcusmcgraw3519 stupid flex
That's why this video is (I believe) addressed to women, but secretly for men. I think a lot of men don't even recognize that many of these are forms of subtle disrespect, and when they recognize these behaviors in their women, will clear the fog from their eyes regarding what is actually going on and why they feel so "off" when speaking to their woman. They can then take action. A lot, (myself formerly included) had no idea they were being disrespected and were taught (thanks Dad...) that this is the way it is.
That's why this video is (I believe) addressed to women, but secretly for men. I think a lot of men don't even recognize that many of these are forms of subtle disrespect, and when they recognize these behaviors in their women, will clear the fog from their eyes regarding what is actually going on and why they feel so "off" when speaking to their woman. They can then take action. A lot, (myself formerly included) had no idea they were being disrespected and were taught (thanks Dad...) that this is the way it is.
@@santafilipina9020 For some reason, women tend to love these narcissitic, bad boy types. My only reasoning is that its a demonstration of higher value (DHV). There is obvious evolutionary benefits to women who mate with a male who is of a higher value. Its genetics.
My ex partner (mother of my kids, 16 year relationship) used to disrespect me, I put it to her this way and she had no response.
Would you treat your boss the way you treat me? No of course not because your don't want to lose your job.
Would you treat a shop worker the way you treat me? No of course not because that would make you an arse.
Would you treat a stranger on the street the way you treat me? No of course not because you don't want to risk a punch in the teeth.
Then why treat me like that?
Why am I worth less to you than a stranger in the street?
Why is your boss or even a shop worker worth more than me?
I realised it at the time but it took me years to properly understand it.
I am in the same situation, brother (divorce on the way, 17 yrs, kids), and actually told her in the exact same way : you wouldn't talk to a stranger or a colleague that way, so don't talk to me that way.
This was also met with deflection or silence.
Did she ever answer in your case ?
@@zphzrhzraefoiaj4974 I totally and wholeheartedly agree with you brother.
@@zphzrhzraefoiaj4974 yeah she did, long time later.
She said she knew I wouldn't do anything about it.
There was no consequences. So this means it was intentional..
I didn't know how to have a relationship, I didn't know about boundaries.
@@actiondefenceThe level of disrespect, dude.
@@actiondefence She was wrong. You stated originally she is now your ex. Consequences come swiftly when that switch flips in a man when he hits rock bottom and has had enough. He either self deletes, explodes in anger, or mans up and decides to be the one to end the relationship and take back control of his life.
You can only fully respect what you fear to lose. If there's no fear of potential loss, there's usually no restraint...
Doesn't marriage sorta remove that fear of loss for a woman? Many women switch up after they get the ring and can stop pretending to be respectful.
@MOTV583 Any form of commitment where you can't just walk away removes that fear. That's why it's not in a man's best interest to get married. Let alone the financial risk.
These words should be inscribed in gold
💯% nailed it. Disrespect only seeps in when she doesn't want you anymore. This video should really be on why disrespect if the first step on the road to the end of the relationship.
In your childhood you respected your father, your principal, your sports coach, your pastor. It wasn't about being afraid of losing them.
I left my ex due to her disrespect. I agree with others here that, when she begins disrespecting you, it’s because she doesn’t love (if she ever did) or desire you anymore.
Time to move on.
The good doc takes things a little far, but your comment is on point. Once she treats you like a child, it's time to move on.
A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect. It's not psychologically possible. But moving from 'no respect' to active disrespect move the dynamic to a new level of 'no love.'
@@rob21 Sometimes you need a little parody to drive home the point!
I did the nasty... move on...i never regretted the decision..and i gave a 2 year warning...of my intentions
Media creates false explanations for them. They discover this after we leave them, and move on. They usually call wanting back in as if nothing happened. The trouble is doing the same things expecting different results. Life is too short.
when women disrespect you during the initial dating period, it's a form a "shit test". If the disrespect happens while you are in a relationship, it usually means she has lost attraction/desire for you, which usually cannot be reversed, and should be treated as a sign for breaking up.
💯% nailed it. Disrespect if a sign that she no longer sees any value in you hence the disrespect. Its the first step on the journey to the end of the relationship.
A shit test is not disrespectful. Disrespect is the same no matter the phase of the relationship. When it arrives, enforce boundaries harshly ie. Acta non verba.
@@aalvarez305Wrong! Shit test = blatant disrespect as in habing nonfear of losing such a man = no sexual desire!
This is why we need to stop enabling / compkying with this whole "a shit test is a sign of interest" bs by tolerating even the mere toxic concept of admitting a shit test in the first place. It's fake history!
At no point in time before feminism a woman dared to shit test a man.
At the very least she was immediately left behind to die from starvation.
More often than not she was just bitchslapped silly or even stoned to death for the slightest disrespect.
Same with fake evolution based theories. Back in the day women were bought and sold like cattle, some time back even just taken by force a.k.a. = r.a.p.e.d (the very need for euphemistic sugarcoating things when we speak to / about women online is zhe proof of "patriarchy" being the opposite from the true state of things, being just a false narrative.
Before like 1919 not a single woman could even think of shit testing a man.
In most countries a.k.a. 3rd world even today the very concept of a shit test is alien to local women.
That's something I've noticed (gender doesn't;t matter) when one person wants to end the relationship. They start becoming meaner and disrespectful (usually by way of breaking their routine: not texting back the whole day, etc) , or the pull a ghosting act ("act" not total ghosting). What is likely happening is that they don't want to be the bad guy, so they're hoping their negligence will prompt you to break it off, or they hope this will spur anger in you, so you have an outburst towards them and they can justify breaking it off and/or they break it off and don't feel as guilty because you did something mean too.
You know what....this we supposed to do all men in a relationship, when a disrespect starts, is not way back.... If I would knew it.. I never stand a relationships so toxic... Great comment
I remember listening to a reddit story about a woman that told her son about his dad wetting the bed. I was confused and thought "So what, every man likely wet the bed as a kid." Until I realised she wasn't talking about when he was a kid. He withdrew from her and was clearly upset and she was angry with him for being upset with her. When she demanded he talk to her, he told her she humiliated him in front of their son and she viciously snapped back that he embarassed himself when he wet the bed.
I cannot fathom how this woman could possibly fail to see the disrespect in her initial willingness to share such an embarassing thing with a child, whom might at some point tell his mates, who will tell their mates who will tell their parents. Then to humiliate him a second time for being upset. Some women are hopeless.
Eh, he wet the bed as an adult. I would expect someone to repeat that to others. One time, my friend got mad at me that I told our mutual friends that he got caught stealing
He was mad at me for humiliating him as well, but I told him he embarrassed himself by getting caught stealing in front of me. How can I blame myself for this? I was correct, just as this woman was
@@marcusmcgraw3519One is voluntary, the other is not. He didn't choose to leak all over. 😂
@marcusmcgraw3519 How can you blame yourself??? Because you took action, and the action that you took embarrassed your friend. Literally all you had to do was nothing. 🤦♂️
@@marcusmcgraw3519bro what are you on. Those are completely different examples. Take a chill pill from the Internet dude. Holy delusional. He was probably asleep when he wet the bed, I’d imagine. Stealing is a literal crime last time I checked, while conscious unless that person was drugged or something. We live in America, last time I checked there’s a lot of people who prolly are broke or starving. Have some morals dude. That’s something you tell your friend privately, to save his soul. Jesus Man you’re on one.
@@bdtrapbut my friend embarrassed himself. How do you think I felt about the fact that 2 plainclothes men escorted us to the back as we were leaving (though they did let me go immediately)? I knew I could not trust my friend after that. If this had been the other way around, I would expect my friend to embarrass me and tell others I got caught. Wouldn’t you?
Remember what they used to tell women about domestic violence: One hit and you leave, or to confront it by saying "one more and I'm out of here." For women, with less physical strength, DISRESPECT is the equivalent of that first hit, and if you accept it, you are floating downstream in the relationship and will have to confront it immediately to get back to neutral. "Did you just MEAN to disrespect me? Because if you did, I'm out of here."
Imagine what you would tell your daughter to do in such a situation of violence, and then apply it to yourself about disrespect.
Brilliant, well said.
I'm dealing with trying to help a young woman find a new apartment, as she just told me yesterday that her brother is hitting her and her little daughters. And I had thought this was an ideal family! Who knows what lurks? And I have to consider how to avoid becoming a target myself.
In the video his examples of disrespect include eye rolling.
Of course she meant it as disrespect. She didn't mean it as a complement.
Youre going to divorce her for an eye roll a d a crossing of the arms?
@canelareina3795 no but every man should have a ledge and make a certain amount of strikes. But it's cheaper to keep her if he signed that horrible business contract called marriage.
I do this, and tbh, if you try that with most women they don't care. They are disrespecting you because they don't respect you, so the threat of you leaving won't matter. So, true to your word, you leave. Basically, after the first fight or disagreement, you are gone. I mean I don't care, but if you do, I would try something else.
I actually just realised, when I was growing up, noone was talking about women 'respecting' men. Only the other way round.
Its almost like men have been raised to simp for women and obey their huge list of conditions without question.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T...they even wrote songs about it.
Yes, there’s clearly a double standard.
A symptom of gynocentric society
This was the start of the downfall of America.
It’s important to vet potential relationship partners for narcissism. You do this by seeing how they react and respond to disagreements and stressful situations. Men need to avoid beautiful narcissists!
Exhibit a) Johnny Depp
I experienced this recently, would go into a rage at any sign of criticism or setting of boundaries
💯% nailed it. You only really know your partner when you see her in arguments and other stressful situations.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540and that’s why it’s seen as a red flag for someone to avoid arguments. They’re avoiding because they’re incapable of winning or influencing in their favor
This is very important these days. There are a lot of snakes in the grass.
She was borderline
I left my ex-wife for being constantly disrespectful. Oh, and for cheating, but mostly it was the disrespect. The many and varied small ways that she would show disrespect, as well as overt disrespect like shouting in my face or interrupting me when I was speaking. We had many conversations about respect but she never did quite grasp how to be respectful, nor did she understand why it was important to me. I remember her saying at one point "all you talk about is respect this and respect that" like she really couldn't understand why her being so disrespectful was a problem for me. I had to walk away when she made it clear she had no intention of changing how she treated me. I'll always remember the shocked look on her face when I took my ring off and put it on the table next to her before walking away. That's the only way of dealing with a combative and disrespectful woman. Don't fight, don't argue, just walk away.
The disrespect was the precursor to the cheating.
Cheating is one of the ultimate forms of disrespect.
@@Willie_Wahzoo Agreed. I'm grateful that she imploded our relationship because it allowed me to walk away without guilt. It's been a bit over two years since I left and I'm doing 10,000% better in every conceivable way now without her constantly dragging me down.
you deserved better, we all do (did). i’m working on not bringing the past forward, it isn’t fair to my new partner…so far he seems a good man i can trust.
@@Alpinewild444 I wish you all the best.
Men don’t need ask permission, but relationships is voluntary action. If you do not care about whether what you do would impact anyone, do not check with the woman, the woman also have the right to walk away.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Don't you mean "ex-partner"?
@@RyanFowlerSOS I believe you are correct. Thank you for the grammar correction.
@@mgu1N1n1 you're welcome my man.
Getting a permanent one is pretty difficult without hefty proof so I hope you’re okay
Partner? Why these programmed buzzwords. No one said “partner” even 10 years ago. Are you in a “partnership” or a relationship?
I just sent this video to every woman I know. If I disappear please contact the authorities! Great stuff Doctor. Thanks as always!
Get your balls back bro, stay strong
You still alive, bro?
@@dithermoreno3211 No! I made it to the afterlife! They have WiFi up here! Crazy! 🤣
@@RyanPatrickFlanagan Are there women too in the afterlife? 😱
😂🤣
@@PapaBear6t8 Shocker alert- yes they are here! And this will make your jaw drop - they like to cook and clean here!!! 😆 LoL!
Women enjoy a double standard when it comes to this issue: If a woman hits a man, it’s displayed as playful or “she had a good reason for it”.
Also, a lot of men refuse to stand up for themselves and speak out against disrespect out of the fear of losing their gf or wife. However, women only respect men who have boundaries and communicate them.
Remember: You get what you allow!
Btw, this goes to women as well.
Adding +
Women will test their partners on how much disrespect they tolerate. This is how they filter out weak men and I think it happens unconsciously to some extend. This is just a hypothesis - debate me on it.
agree with you on the last part. women like to test their men to find the boundaries, and this is actually how they end up losing men. he has made a video specifically about this self-sabotaging behavior of women.
🎯
@@Diego-fb5fqexactly. I know that men test women as well to see how far they can go. It’s important to recognise these actions and act on them.
Like children they will always try to see what they can get away with. Best way is to nip it in the bud before it turns into a major problem. You also have to control your reaction. Some times men will make the mistake of getting overly emotional when trying to address these issues but if you get butthurt about it she will sense weakness as well. So when you do address the issue do it in a calm/unaffected manner.
it's a known fact and its name is the shit test
Disrespect comes down to lack of trust. I've dated women who've second guessed my decisions in various ways, which felt like she didn't trust my opinion. I dated someone who would ask my opinion and dismiss it only to later tell me her therapist said something groundbreaking, which was the same thing I told her a few weeks prior. Another woman I dated felt like dating an overbearing knit-picking micromanaging mother.
Yep definitely a bad fit. It's definitely important on the front end to look for somebody with complimentary abilities, that way your ideas don't step on each other that much.
Damn that's disturbing. I can fully relate to that with a few ex girlfriends, and of course my mother, obviously🙄
We sure know how to pick them 🤔
@@roberttruman8444 I keep dating women who are like my mother! grr. That cycle ends NOW!
Women are not responsible for a man's' self esteem, she can build and encourage but men need to know and respect themselves for the most part. If you felt the information shared would deem helpful albeit it was not taken, its should not cause you to feel your information was off, she simply didn't see it as something fitting her situation. I'd ask you where you are in your own journey of self esteem. Women can and do make choices for themselves. Most times a women is more intuitive than men. It's just the way we're created.
Very true. I only question when I don’t trust them.
Respect comes from POSSIBILITY OF CONSEQUENCES.
True.
And the conseqyences are not only to break up.
We need a. Hannel by an older married man that teaches how to wear the pants at home.
not intirely true you can respect someone by admirering theire accoplishments
@jeancesar5493 Admiration, is not Respect. Just as liking someone is not loving them. I can admire someone's rank or title and have no respect for them.
@@MonDieuMaCauseMonEpee interesting.
I thi k a wife needs to admire her husband, and fear consequences if she disrespects him.
Have to train them like 🐕🐶🐾.
Disrespect is a massive deal breaker. That's the end of the road. Nothing to discuss any further.
Cheating is a massive deal breaker, verbal/physical abuse is a deal breaker, Controlling behavior is a deal breaker, Inequality is massive deal breaker
Spot on. What a sad state of society that man are simply asking to not be disrespected, forget about respect, just don't disrespect us.
This video reminds me of one of your previous videos and a quote that really stuck with me: 'Catering to a woman's emotionality against your better judgment is a form of cowardice born out of a scarcity mentality.'
Men, stand your ground and establish healthy boundaries. If she fails to comply and resorts to disrespect, bail. It's as simple as that. We have to learn to respect ourselves if we expect to be respected by others.
Great take here 🔥🔥🔥
This reminds of a RUclips comment of a man who told his ex wife when she asked why he ultimately divorced her and he answered, "in the end you made me choose between loving you and respecting myself and I chose to respect myself."
To put it more simply, it's false virtue. Bc what you think your doing is helping her but rather your enabling her. She's worse for it and so are you, if that pattern of behavior continues the question is who's going to realize it first and end things so they can actually win. Bc it sure as hell isn't going to happen in that kind of a relationship.
@@anthonyml7 I disagree. The notion behind my comment is not to remain and enable the disrespect. I clearly state to “establish healthy boundaries, and If she fails to comply and resorts to disrespect, bail“
There won’t be any room for her to continue the BS if you put your foot down and leave.
Everything I just heard is completely true. Years of analysis, research, psychology, logic are summarize in here. Congratulations!
Ouch. Maybe its time to start using that brainmatter to form some own thoughts. It wasnt meant to feed and repeat yn...
Ouch. Maybe its time to start using that brainmatter to form some own thoughts. It wasnt meant to feed and repeat yn...
In respects to women, many may respect a man consciously while inadvertently disrespecting him subconsciously. In other words, it is crucial to note why men should never pedestalize women regardless of reciprocity because men and women are not equal by any means and ultimately abide by different standards and different expectations.
I agree, but that's one of the reasons we must be careful to whom we speak or tell anything, now not being mystic bible says if anyone tells you a secret must die with you, would be different if in this case (he) is the one who tells his story.
Good friend of mine once told me that sometimes not even to our children we can tell everything. And unfortunately this woman has no values no respect for her husband.
Da fuck you saying we are not equal 😄 wake up it’s 2024 not fuckin middle age
Your right I think and explain that really well I think we need to check ourselves with the men we love and admire in our lives
I like the fact you dont edit out the little hiccups in the videos. Makes it feel more genuine and direct which adds to the weight of the message. Thank you for everything you do
Ladies, i recommend that you keep your sovereignty. That was what the original meaning of virgin meant. Don't be afraid to reject a loser and don't ever let a man have power over you. You don't have to answer to them. A man has to be WORTHY of you!
@Aleisha-Jones-ek1mi
Agree! Thanks for comment.
My partner is on long drive on 195. I just texted him asking if he had arrives yet. His response..."yes, just arrived. Exhausted. Thanks for checking with me. Hope you have a good night"
@@csmith9699 His text sounds like he's talking to a coworker instead of a partner. 🫤
Similarly women should also be worthy of you
I’m disagreeing with some of this. If you are in a legally binding, committed relationship, you are equally obligated out of respect for each other to at least inform the other - if not ask permission to do certain activities. In a marriage relationship particularly, you are no longer obligated only to yourself and your own time. It is not just about you anymore.
If either my wife or I are going to spend the night out with friends, we always inform the other, at least to see if they had any plans that might conflict with our own. We usually don’t have any problems with this, but schedules can conflict and it is just a matter of mutual respect that we consider the other when making plans.
Just another perspective.
Thank you for pointing this out. If a relationship operates like an employer/employee situation I think it is doomed to fail.
Exactly, you're talking common sense. Many women disrespect men in these ways, because many men expect authority, even if it is at the expense of those they are meant to protect.
I totally agree with you, but Orion says in the beginning that this is advice for women who would like to be in a long-term relationship with a man.
@@lynnferry291 I don’t see that it matters if you are a man or woman in this scenario. Respect goes both ways.
@@bluewater454 I agree with you there, too. If this advice is directed towards women, you need to take it up with Orion. I totally agree that respect is a two-way street and that marriage/a committed relationship has different rules than people who are dating.
Ladies, have you ever found yourself in a situation where your man makes a mistake and gets lost? Perhaps you've suggested that he ask a stranger for directions, only to be surprised by his response. Ever wonder why your well-intentioned suggestion doesn't elicit the reaction you anticipated?
Picture this: You've prepared a meal for your family, a task you've mastered countless times. However, this time, a distraction causes you to burn the rice. You know you've made a mistake, and so does your husband. Everyone is aware of your culinary skills. Suddenly, your husband stands up, heads outside, flags down the first woman he sees, and invites her into your home to teach you how to cook rice.
The reaction you'd have in that situation is likely the same as your partner's when you make a similar suggestion to him. In both cases, the respectful approach is to give your partner the space to rectify their mistake.
Good example - 😂😂. Have been through that one. Is this the right way she challenged…
Great analogy, couldn’t have stated it any better myself!
Well put!
Bravo mate
Great analogy. Stealing it.
Disrespecting men is encouraged vigorously these days.
Excellent video as always Dr. Taraban, but my goodness... what a sad world we live in where a professional therapist has to explain this to people. Your work is more needed then ever, keep it up.
The previous gen failed their daughters. And this current Gen will fail theirs.
@@TheAustrianPainter87yep. Its obvious. Kids raising kids.
If a woman is trying to micro manage you…..RUN!
this!
What is meant by micro managing?
@@DareBearTD Basically calling all the shots and expecting nearly everything to go her way. She dictates things like how and when dishes are washed. Basically the more she acts like an overbearing mother, the more you must think about running away.
There is still a big issue here. You are still expecting the man to do the running.
probably should be held in all directions -- anybody trying to micromanage -- men or women, hetero or same sex relationships -- anybody too managing -- no good.
One form of disrespect is lying. Being with a female that believes her own lies ( So in her mind she is not lying) is next level b.s. . Yeah, I dumped her like last week's garbage.
Stay strong brother!
My ex had a tendency to lie through omission, which is like the 'silent-but-deadly' form. I do see it as disrespectful when they lie about things that affect you personally or the two of you as a couple. I am more understanding and forgiving if they lied to protect themselves in some way. But now I'm questioning if perhaps it's a subtle sign of disrespect if they didn't feel they could open up to me about such things?
What about a spouse who frequently lies through omission?
Men need to own themselves, be soverign. This may/will come with some consequence, but better to go alone. Time alone will turn the tables.
Protect thy seed
Roll solo and stand firm. You dont need disrespect in your life
Absolutely. Men need to be men in a relationship. I have seen more men act like a unkempt human than I care to believe. Women need to stop being mothers. That man was a man before you met him. Sickening to see women picking up after grown men and buying their deodorant 😮 like what???? He is not a child!!!
"The ability to ask questions is a privilege to those with more power.."
Toxic
This part was interesting because he said that it's never allowed the other way. So does that mean that it's fine as long as both can over-question each other?
@@almamater489it’s good know you consider the truth toxic.
In a relationship you should lead with that, it will save a lot of time.
@@devorahactsyou can always ask the question, however I am not compelled to answer them.
@@Guildofarcanelore If I feel like you're holding anything back without needing to, then the trust is probably on its way out. If I'm truly asking too much, I don't trust you anyway in which case that needs fixing fast. It's important to be aware that not saying something can have a worse effect than giving a gentle but negative answer. I've never really operated from a feeling of wanting or needing or expecting control as much as answers when behavior looks ambiguous. My biggest sign of a good relationship is not having to ask, not because he tells me everything but because his actions tell me he's OK.
critical judgement or talking about private matters with her friends or online and talking about their BF/husband to others in any negative way is terribly disrespectful.
RTF. I absolutely Fully agree with you there! That is a disgusting habit, gossipy and not classy. No woman of Any quality would act in that manner!
Women know each other's sex lives. They readily share that info within their sewing circle. They don't keep secrets, except from men.
@@robertfrantz4788 Not this woman, Robert. I can assure you. What happens within our four walls stays there. Anyhow, not much good at seeing, I fear. L.
Perhaps a woman has a close friend she shares with and needs input from. Also consider that age may be a factor in what women share. A seasoned woman will understand so the other woman won’t feel abnormal or in the dark about her lover and experiences. Not putting lover down, just trying to understand his intent and unstableness.
"No man has the obligation to answer to you"
Worst moment to ask for a like 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂 funniest comment
I have experienced too much disrespect from my wife. Thank you for sharing this very important information
67 year old lifelong bachelor here. I've ALWAYS acted as the Good Doctor describes here in my (infrequent) committed relationships with women over the years.
And THAT, my friends is why I am a lifelong bachelor..
💐 Here’s your digital flowers sir, well done! With the way things are going in this unscrupulous, deregulated global sexual marketplace, I may be a Bachelor Boy/Free Agent with the likes of Tesla and The Wright Brothers. I have to ask sir, what is the key to being steadfast in your choice and how do you deal with the pejorative questions and comments from peers/family/associates in your choice not to adopt a woman and her brood?
@@jamescheaye927 I'm 61 and a life long bachelor. When I'm asked why I didn't get married and if I choose to answer, I say that I see little value for me in return for assuming an abundance of risk. I site the failure rate of marriages (in my case I would likely end up with a post wall divorced woman so the likelihood of divorce will be higher), the corrupt court system, the fact that women are no longer feminine and fit, and they are combative and usually a financial mess. Their unrealistic expectations is another reason. Who needs any of that?
That's probably the best way for most people. Marriage is only worthy for excentric and antissocial folks that usually are not able to have fun with most people, needing another "alien" as a partner to be really fullfilled.
@@jamescheaye927 Caring about the opinions of peers/family/associates in matters of the heart is the surest path to getting yours broken. There's no need to explain anything to anyone. A woman with children is a major liability waiting to happen and raising any man's child is predetermined self-cuckery. He (or she) that doesn't accept this (whether they like it or not) simply doesn't care about you enough to have their opinions considered. Nothing else need be said or known.
Yeah most women also now prefer to be single with the current generation of weak men all over the place. Easy to blame the woman then take accountability that maybe you are having issues or in a mess for your own life decisions. But men here in this forum will have zero accountability and quick to put blame on the women
Great job doctor. As always, serving the hard truth. You are doing a great service to man kind!
As far as asking permission goes, there's a limit to what a man can do without asking permission. A man can't for example just get up and decide to travel alone to China and spend 5000$ if they're married with 3 kids. That would be very disrespectful towards the woman. In relationships, there are non written rules and if the man is making a life changing decision, the man should check with the wife out of love, respect and consideration for her feelings. For example, he should ask her if she's okay with him seeing his ex as friends. Men cannot live in this "my way or the highway" mindset because women are simply going to leave them if they feel their emotions, boundaries and ideas aren't respected. A relationship has boundaries and rules and out of respect and consideration for the other partner, both partners should always make sure their partners are okay with their actions. You wouldn't want your woman to do hard drugs right ? Well, it goes both ways.
You cant be friends with an ex. There are always other motives. Dont be so weak.
This is the most sane comment I have read in this forum. Respect is a two way street and your need for independence should not come at the expense of a wife's disrespect. When you took a wife, you decided to take care of two people not you alone, so emotions of a woman should be rightfully respected, imagine staying out all night with friends after you are married and saying you are a man so u can spend time however you want. No sir, now you are married and its your duty to give time to your wife like how she gives you time and respect
@@aaziz13 Glad you agree, thanks :)
And yeah, exactly. It’s like a lot of these red pill guys don’t understand mutual respect. It’s very odd 🙃
I just found this channel today and I am so glad I did. I especially appreciate this episode, it has helped me realize so much about my own toxicity. Thank you for sharing!
Great episode. You absolutely nailed it: I perceived all three mentioned behaviors are disrespectful and they always led to a more or less intense pushback and negative reaction on my end. Now that I'm soon to be divorced, I can't believe that I tolerated those repeated offenses for so long.
This narrative is really amazing. He states clearly that men are above women in a hierarchy he doesn't exactly explain, that asking questions to your partner is disrespectful as a woman. Shouldn't we be treating eachother kindly, asking eachother so we can get to know eachother and that way care for eachother better? Connect? Really human kind is never going to stop surprising me. So many followers and likes. Back to a dark age.
Very well put. Truly ridiculous
No it comes down to women lacking trust in men. If a woman constantly second-guesses a guy (especially when the guy is 100% in the right), it signals she doesn't respect the guy. If she takes the opinion of someone else as a revelation and happens to be same opinion you expressed in the past but she was lukewarm about it, it shows she doesn't respect your opinion and respect the opinions of others more. Men are often portrayed as a bumbling idiot with the smart competent wife. Many woman and (men) have internalized that trope unconsciously and will even joke about it while actually being semi-serious about it.
If you claim to believe the Bible, man is above woman in the hierarchy (1 Cor. 11:3) and woman was made FOR the man (1 Cor. 11:9).
Even intuiting will tell you this if you care to listen to it.
It's a shame people are so gullible towards marxist nonsense, believing that men and women are equal.
This video is really thoughtful compared to a lot of stuff on the internet, especially pertaining to relations between men and women. He doesn't state that men are above women in a hierarchy. He's a clinical psychologist. His channel is about reducing unnecessary suffering in the world, and this video deals with things that women say or do that are likely to come across as disrespectful to a man. That's it. You can plug whatever hierarchy into it you want. He's just giving advice based on his clinical practice. One way to connect to people is to try and understand their point of view, and we indeed should treat each other kindly and respectfully. The only problem is that moral concepts like "kindness" and "respect" mean different things to different people, and often mean different things to men and women too. We should strive to understand the other, always.
@@Aircalibur I am a psychologist, and being one doesn't make your opinions the ultimate truth. Asking questions is paramount to knowing each other which is the base for a healthy relationship. It's called communication
K the survellience part is true but asking questions and checking in is also what equals and collaborators do. You can't even get through the first date without asking each other questions, so that whole idea is just silly. The checking in is common courtesy and also healthy collaboration. Especially if there are intertwined lives and child care involved. I can't imagine anyone would be happy if their spouse didn't check in before going out for drinks with their friends after work and skipping dinner and leaving the other partner with the kids, and probably worried, too. Again, silly
I had an ex who was extremely jealous, and I didn’t know this until about two months into the relationship. Anyway, she disrespected me by throwing a tantrum if I made certain decisions without her (decisions that had little to do with her) and surveillance of who I was texting and calling (messages in a family group chat, or interacting with females in professional settings). The surveillance even became very personal, like watching who I was looking at when we went out on dates or errands together. I wasn’t cheating, but she made it seem that way. I was never outright disrespectful to her intentionally (and I apologized if I was), but she insisted that I was being disrespectful all the time. I didn’t know that any of this was disrespect until much later, after the breakup. But I’m learning from this experience.
She was up to something no good or either she’s got many issues to fix
Thats bipolar.
Very true about not realizing the disrespect. I didn't even run across the term 'disrespect' properly until about 20 years ago. But I've experienced disrespect long before that, but didn't recognize it. I should have looked more closely at the power dynamics.
No, she's just a very insecure person and she doesn't know how to discern reality from her insecure emotions.
I had a ex girlfriend just like her. Extremely jealous. When this happens, she's got emotions inside her that's affecting her way of seeing what is truly happening in front of her.
Trying to control who someone looks at in public is beyond disrespect.
You weren't being disrespectful at all. She was telling you it's disrespectful because she cannot tell you she has NO CONTROL over her insecure emotions.
So, don't think this is disrespectful to women.
For women, emotions are MORE real than reality itself.
Dishonest people are the least trusting. I'm willing to bet she pushed you into getting in too deep, too quick. She didn't want you to really know her first. Women do that. They wait till we're invested then drop bombshells. If they're in a hurry it's a major red flag. They can only keep up their false facade for so long. We need a chance to see them at their worst.
Those obvious ways women disrespect men aren’t particularly obvious to women
Yep, they usually do it without malice because her friends and family do it too. The problem is that it has become their habit and they won’t drop it even if you ask them to do so. It becomes the worst when they get defensive about it
Quite ridiculous to be honest. But no one asked my opinion🤐
And that's because of their natural selfishness. It's a shame our society teaches them how "wonderful" they are when they're not.
Yes they are.
They know. 😂
This is absolutely true. Feminism and our culture and lack of female role models has literally shown us things the way to behave to protect ourselves from men walking all over us. Woman can have a good heart and literally not know how to treat a masculine partner and what they actually need which is different from what a female needs. We were taught we’re all the same which is a huge lie. Woman who grew up with nothing feminist garbage can be reformed if they truly want good and love.
If she feels the need to keep tabs on her man because she either doesn't think he can look after himself, or she doesn't trust his fidelity...
she should just find someone else.
Its possible to question a mans actions and not be patronizing. That's called equality. If you are an adult you should be able to ask sensitive questions of other adults. Not supervising but actually caring. There's a difference. Sometimes real friends are there for there friends in the form of honesty.
HOW you ask is critically important.
Women had to ask for permission to do literally anything for most of history. Men are not willing to do ask for permission or willing to humble themselves or accept what they’ve done to generations of women. Women just need to accept that men want power without the accountability or responsibility.
Hmmm point well taken Orion, but let's switch the position of male & female in those sentences. I argue that in healthy interdependent relationships women have the same rights of respect as men do.
The argument that parents can go into their child's room because everything belongs to the parent is also the main reason a lot of those parents who don't respect their kids' privacy never hear from them in adulthood again.
Respect everyone, no relationship is guaranteed, not even parent-child.
This is what prompted me to end my relationship just after New Years
Best decision I've made thus far this year
Yep
Happy New Year!
Really ? I’m unsure if I have to let go my husband is my victim. As he words it out. I’m unsure of that. I want therapy .. but we are both hurt by each other now.
🥹
Doc they realize it, they know.
💯%. They would never dream of disrespecting their boss or Chad. Because they really want the income and Chad. They only disrespect things they no longer want as a way of pushing that thing away, to make room for Chad.
Finally someone realize it.
Women "muh emotions" are manipulation.
They absolutely know what they are doing.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 why would Chad settle for a disrespectful 4ho3? She is not making room for him, all she's doing is pushing you away and self-sabotaging.
I am a man and I don't agree with a single thing said here. We don't all have such unbelievably fragile egos as this my word. your partner feels this way about "disrespect" you should run.
What do you mean honey ?
Reminds me of a single mother I was getting to know on a romantic level. We had great moments, but she'd had these catty & demanding outbursts "You've gained weight..You should shave your body hair...You want me to pay for it?? That's not what a gentleman does!!....Can't or won't? [meet up with sex] what are you afraid of?? Well I'm not going to beg you." I asked her would she talk to her boss like that, I was met with "I make suggestions all the time," and that later lead to "I'm a single mother, I'm used to being in charge." Turns out she was being rather truthful, her whole daily life was high-strung argumentative with those around her. She didn't want a BF, she wanted someone else to argue with and control. We're still friends, but I'm so glad we never had sex. Here's a dating hack: Pay attention to how she treats her parents, siblings, or kids (if applicable), not an absolute, but it's an indication of she's going to organically treat you.
so your "friends" with a disagreeable woman and you still dont get any sex? How is that a win?
I was always a bit shocked at the way my soon-to-be ex-wife would talk to her parents. I know now that it was a major red flag and I should have known better.
If you're "friends" with a whamin like that, I wouldn't trust you either.
I've been with girls like that and the catty comments are always projections of their own insecurities
@@360ODYSY it’s part of seeking validation. That’s how some people seek it, even if it had consequences later, it’s still validation.
Only disagreement is women asking men about their intentions (Dating, friendship, networking or marriage). Women, especially western women need to date with intention.
...once they reach a certain age.
I am a woman and I agree. I never question my man. He has all the freedom to do whatever he needs.
"This is how women disrespect men without realizing it"
No sir they realize it, they just don't care because they don't fear repercussions of what they do and say
Your take on women not disrespecting their bosses was spot on
They know how to control their mouth when it comes to that because they fear losing their job
Here are some more subtle ways I have experienced that I find disrespecting:
- Changing the subject abruptly when the man wants to talk about something and the woman isn't interested in that matter. Being with a man means that you will have to listen to him, even if he just wants to talk about something you find uninteresting. You could even learn something about his personality that way. Not allowing him to talk conveys the message that you don't care about his personality or feelings and that you have somehow dehumanized him to an entity that's there only to fulfill your own needs. Much worse if you use dismissive retorts or gestures like "oh, no that again" or "why should I care about that?", sighing or rolling eyes.
Talking about him in the third person in front of friends and not allowing him to speak on his behalf by continuing to do so when he tries to speak, even if you are saying good things about him. You are in fact objectifying him, reducing him to a commodity you can praise or complain about to others. When my gf did that I felt like I was a dog and she was saying "Oh, he's such a good boi".
Sharing intimate details about your life together to people, mostly other women he also knows or could meet in the future. Almost all women and extremely few men do that. You cannot imagine how embarrassing it is to a man to discover that other people know things about him that he would never have disclosed himself. It makes him feel like a pet or a science experiment. And often they don't have to even tell him, he can understand this has happened by the look in their eyes.
Oh and finally that old tired catch-all condescending phrase "You are just insecure" when you complain about any of these.
Good stuff!
I am so sorry if you experienced any of this, it is not okay. You deserve better.
@ky7299
I agree with some of this bit not first example. Maybe most of the men I've been with are big talkers but I have (with a few) barely started talking and been told "New topic" ...very disrespectful and I say so I matter-of-fact way. Some listen...some don't. You get a lot of info that way.
One male friend of mine did this a lot and I found it annoying. We're both strong personalities and one thing that attracted us to one another. When he kept up with the "new topic" bs, I just started doing the same thing at times with him. He'd actually laugh and say..."good point...I get it "
I asked a woman if she thought that it was disrespectful to ask a man to hold her purse. They didn't think it was big deal no matter how much i explained it to them. Protect sons gentleman
Wow!
context is all here.
of course it's not disrespectful if it's for a minute while you needs your hands for something.
I would argue that this is only disrespectful if she thinks he is *obligated* to hold her purse. And also, she must be willing to reciprocate. If I need her to hold a flashlight while I'm working on something, she should be willing to do so. If I hold her purse, I am doing so to be kind, not because Its my job. As long as she gets that, I'm cool.
@@st3vorocks290 You're missing some context here. The context is you are out one evening with this woman, she has you hold her purse at the table, while she socializes with everyone but you for 20 minutes. All the while you are sitting there alone with her purse because it was implied she was only going to be gone for a couple minutes in the bathroom.
A girlfriend asked me to hold her purse at the mall once. When she got back, I had the entire contents spread out neatly on the floor, and was correcting the math in her checkbook.
She never did that again! 😁
I think most of the men who say here: "If she disrespects you, she doesn't want you" does not understand modern relationships at all.
Today, every girl is an angel, godess, bossbabe or at lest a strong woman. They really think, they are the better ones, and they can absolutely do anything with a man. Even so they lose respect and leave him afterwards he let everything.
Give a woman power in a relationship or in the workplace and she will almost always become tyrannical.
That’s a fact. The Bible says the same
give weak men power and they too will become tyrannical. women and weak men are two sides of the same coin.
Yup all the women leaders were tyrannical while the men leaders were amazing and great and never power hungry, how did the world wars then happen😢
@@aaziz13 World wars happen because international bankers pull the financial levers like the wizard of Oz behind the curtains, sowing division and playing both sides. They are only able to get away with this because of the weaknesses of the feminine principle. Feminine democracies, as Aristotle put it, give way to tyranny. This is because the feminine principle is easily deceived as Eve in the garden.
Checking in with someone you love respect and care for, and are in a committed relationship with is called Being Considerate. Especially if the way the time is spent has an Impact on the other person. This is not rocket science. Its not about permission, its about consideration, clear communication and agreements.
I found you by searching a topic, then quickly became aware that I was supposed to find this page in general. I’ve had a problem with emasculating men for a long time. I know it was learned from my childhood. It’s something I’d like to fix within myself, so these videos are making a big difference for my mindset. Could you do one on how to nurture vulnerability from a man’s standpoint?
I'm very interested by what you've described. Could you explain your process of emasculation? Is it your aim to emasculate your male partners from day 1 or will you be triggered into action by an event and continued the abuse until the relationship ends? Do you know why you feel the need to do it or what you gain from doing it?
@@roberttruman8444Great questions. Thank you. Disrespect was a normal dynamic in my household growing up. I have always belittled men by jokingly giving them demeaning names. I’m competitive in relationships. I have never taken men/boys my age or younger seriously. If they don’t want to be treated like a child, I get defensive. It’s likely a subconscious trauma response, as I’ve found myself in more chaotic relationships than healthy. Generally, I’m very kind and pleasant to be around. It may be a means to not be overpowered.
Reflecting now, it’s likely I start to pick at them and test boundaries early on. Then as they react I get more mean until one of us stops it.
I didn’t realize it even happened until I lost someone I really liked after re-entering the dating world and took the time to reflect as to why. I looked back at my faults in prior relationships and was exposed to what I view as healthy relationships. Then of course have done research into proper dynamics.
@@roberttruman8444If the man asserts himself, it has made me back off. I don’t feel it should come to that point because the objective should be to make each other feel safe. As I said before, that wasn’t exhibited or a priority in my home. Then my marriage was a reflection of what I had grown up with.
The only way to "nurture" vulnerability in a man is to show, repeatedly and consistently, that you can be trusted. Weaponizing, publicizing or minimizing anything, ANYTHING, he has told you in confidence will provide the immediate and correct conclusion that you can NOT be trusted and he will never be vulnerable in front of you again and honestly, may result in him shutting off from your completely.
My advice, if you want a man to be comfortable to tell you everything, is to earn it. It isn't something you can "nurture" in someone. If you're ride or die, we figure it out. If you aren't, we figure that out too.
I think under some situations owing the person's an answer to their questions regarding where you are and what you're doing are equal for both parties. When investing in an relationship you should be able to know if your investment is rightfully placed, which should go both ways since both are investing in the relationship.
A woman can NEVER love you, if she doesn't RESPECT you.
Blimey! So fundamentally eye opening. (I can now immediately recognise that I regularly fall into the 'weak' group of men who are more than partly responsible for this state of affairs by simply allowing it to be pervading).
A woman's greatest love is for her infant child, dependant; a man's greatest love is for the mother of his children, his equal. It's astonishing how many women don't see the disrespect in infantilization.
You are not her equal.
Correct. He is her superior.@@delocon
I would argue her greatest love is for herself in modern society. I have seen so many women use their children as weapons in petty fights with the fathers of their children and it is absolutely about them not the children.
@RexJacobus-bb1vwwe don’t experience it the same because women have their life made easier than it should be. By that logic, shouldn’t men take responsibility for ruining women by making their lives too easy to the point that they’re overly entitled? I know women would not be like this if they didn’t believe they would get all this social support anyways
@@ughno2836 I absolutely concur. I saw this dysfunctional power struggle often when I was coming up and still see it to this day. I’m apprehensive when it comes to having children because this is the primary reason. We as men have little to NO rights when it comes to mating and reproduction. Children are the property, pawns, and weapons of women, and women are the property, pawns, and agents of The State. They use these kids who have no say or choice in the matter (Thanks Mom!) as a battering ram for their own gain, at the cost of the very men who gave them this empowerment that they CAN abuse
This is the ONE thing that women I like MUST bring to my "table"
It felt refreshing to watch this, validating that i'm not alone in what i went through. I'm still scarred from my ex 12yrs ago, anytime i feel lustful for someone new over all these years i'm quickly reminded of that experience and i pull back. She was like a mad teacher, always questioning, eye rolling, arms crossed, saying my mum really screwed me up just because we had some intense family stuff happen which wasn't my mums fault (she meanwhile had a picture perfect country upbringing), she manipulated me to get engaged to her or the relationship was finished, manipulated me to get pets i didn't want to in order to stave off her innate need to have a baby which i didn't think we were ready for (and we weren't!!). All i did was go to work every day, karate every second night, go for regular runs she'd not want to join in on because it's too much fitness, I'd pay for everything because she was at uni, I'd come home and clean the kitchen she'd mess up terribly trying to bake, I'd clean the house on my days off because she didn't value cleanliness like I did (apparently "unrealistic standards" {maybe compared to living on a hobby farm in the bush without any chemicals}), I'd do the lawns because that's apparently the mans job. She cracked the biggest drama episodes, partly because she was a Drama/English major at uni, she'd literally bang her head against the wall and slide down to the ground crying because we won't have babies or because i kept her waiting until i proposed (we were only together 2yrs). She'd correct my English all the time, slam all my accents, slam all my jokes and take them literally (wrongly). After i split up with her, she was immediately adamant that she's good and i'm bad, tried turning on me and turning all our friends against me, successfully.. and within 3 months she's got a new guy and she's gotten herself pregnant. I've seen a lot of behaviors of hers in a lot of females so I've avoided them like the plague. It's sucked not having much or any loving for so many years but at least I've been able to have my peace.
She was 8 years old mentally.
Differentiating between asking permission and "would this make you uncomfortable or upset" would have been an appreciated side note. Good job as always Orion.
This was excellent, Orion. Thanks. I know you mentioned this was a two-part, so you may cover it in the next video, but I would love to also hear your thoughts on "testing" behavior, which I have found is the most common form of relational disrespect I've run into. Ie, the same arrogance/entitlement/childishness at play in the behaviors you've mentioned causing one partner to constantly "test" the quality (or honesty or strength or whatever) of their partner to "prove" themselves as a good enough partner.
As a side note: I actually think this has gotten worse *because* of the modern dating/red-pill-o-sphere emphasis on "high value." Of course, a genuinely high-value person would never accept the unquestionably low-value behavior of constantly trying to test everyone's value around them: the whole purpose of being high value is that *I don't have to answer to* your "standards" of "value." Ironically, one of the key giveaways of a low-value person is their constant focus on evaluating others' "worth" and whether it's "good enough" for them as opposed to simply working on their own lives and naturally expecting the people in your life to match that energy. There's nothing more undermining of one's own value than to be a person who constantly has to remind others how rich, good looking, successful, etc. you are - *truly* great people do not have to prove themselves to anyone other than themselves, and demanding that they do so (especially in a relational context) is both presumption and disrespect of the highest orders.
Manosphere/red pill is what made men aware of shit tests. You should be thanking your brothers who pioneered this for you
One of the things that annoyed me about my ex is that whenever we were out for coffee, drink or dinner she would pick some other random girl nearby and ask me if I found her attractive and f*ckable. I would always answer (truthfully) that I hadn't noticed her and that I wouldn't care to answer that question. She continued doing this despite my explicitly asking her not to do it and complained when I answered the way I did. I believe that was a sh1t test and while I can sympathize when a woman does this in the beginning of a relationship, when she does that all the time I get the feeling she is setting me up to fail.
You don't need to instrument a test. Just being alive and interacting with the world around you, is enough for other people to get an idea of who you truly are.
@@willek1335 THIS. The idea that whamin are smart enough to wisely test and vet a man is laughable. They marry whoever is attractive and will take them.
You've highlighted a particular area that I'd argue is reserved mainly for narcissists and people with other personality disorders. I've known a few people who use the 'shit test' on their partners. Not once did I see or hear of them ending the relationship there and then and telling their partner "sorry but you don't value yourself enough, and for that reason I'm out". The reasons these people give for shit testing are complete butllsh&t. They are testing primarily to see what they can get away with (because that's a healthy attitude to take) and getting their partner to be vulnerable and gathering information that they can later use against their partner.
If your date shit tests you, this is because they're still weak and damaged and need to work on themselves and put dating on hold for a while.
First point already nailed it❤. A lot of women act like they have a higher right to demand questions and to interview the man. Yes women are a bit more vulnerable and are more selective often when it comes to choosing a s. partner but this still does not give them the right to ask and demand in a disrespectful manner. Respect is given on the same level!
I was in the same boat. My wife always prioritized her family over what I wanted. I'm not saying what I want should always be chosen, but as her husband - the fact that her default was always what her family wanted was prioritized over me was disrespectful.
I spoke to her about it. I explained calmly that I wouldn't stand for it.
She got the message and 25 years later - we are still happily married.
I agree with the first and third one but the second one will depend on how intertwined our lives are. If we’re sharing a home and children it’s selfish to just go off and do what you want. And it’s strange how he equated a man’s time with a woman’s money. Why not equate time with time. Would it be ok with a man if a wife gf booked a flight with her friends and said cya after the weekend as she’s walking out the door? Don’t think so. That’s not to say no one should have free time to do things alone but it should be scheduled with agreement for both people. That’s the respectful thing to do imo.
Thats a fair point but it's a bit of an unlikely example. The more common example we see is women requiring their partner to say when they'll be home from a night out/punishing them for being any later/checking on them (etc etc) while the same woman would absolutely laugh at the notion her man deserved to be appraised of her likely return home time. She's out with her friends and she can damn well do as she pleases.
Thats the more direct equivalent and it exposes how women are happy to behave with appalling hypocrisy.
@@sammyb1651 I think that in a committed relationship there will be a level of accountability to your partner, that should go both ways. Hypocrisy is unacceptable. There is also a point where it can be overbearing and that is also unacceptable. But in the end I think if you want a healthy relationship, you have to accept a level of being answerable to your spouse, whether your a man or woman. Complete freedom can only be achieved by being single imo.
@@Kellyfox98 You're not saying anything unreasonable there. I don't know a man who wouldn't agree with that as a fair settlement between the sexes.
My point however-and I made it very plainly using an extremely common example-is that most women don't behave in that way. They behave utterly hypocritically.
@@sammyb1651 Agree...why is this not obvious? So basic. I was with him at beginning but when he started the boss stuff...no...not a healthy relationship imo
I lived through it and accept my part of my responsibility for allowing the disrespect. Thank you for putting into words what I could not
Snooping through children's rooms until they're 18 is a good way to end up in a retirement home. The older the child, the more respect they should receive, otherwise s/he will become (normaly) angry or/and irresponsible, through their adolescence and adulthood. If I had caught my parents snooping through my room at 12 I would've been pissed. And an angry tween with full knowledge of where you keep your pillows is a nightmare, never mind one that knows where you keep your most prized possessions. Even the most meek and well behaved kids can and will retaliate, if not immediatly, then when they can. We have long memories and keep grudges, even unconsciously. A few decades wait is nothing to someone who doesn't even know they're holding a grudge. This comment is in response to the part where you say a parent has the right to snoop through their child's room.
Poetry.
Women feel that all these double standards constitute “equality.” Therein lies the problem.
This reminded me of a conversation I had with an anonymous friend of mine. I asked him if he wanted to go racecar driving with me on Sunday. He said that his anniversary with his girlfriend was on Saturday, so he had to check in with her. I felt an immediate revulsion and disgust in him, but I wasn't able to precisely verbalize why. Now I realize I was repulsed by the lack of masculinity he displayed by voluntarily subordinating himself to his girlfriend. If their anniversary was on Sunday and he had previously committed to spend the whole day with her, that would be different. But he was effectively giving her authority over his whole weekend.
Relationships ARE about sacrifice dude.
@@midnightsplusnoonsis730LEOok but he’s not sacrificing anything here, the anniversary being the day before is unrelated to the driving event. This is why men in relationships are looked down upon. They cede FAR too much power to the woman
@@marcusmcgraw3519 I dunno, maybe he wants to like... Spend some time with his girlfriend? Maybe he wanted to sleep in? Maybe (and this is *truly* revolutionary) he simply cared more about pleasing the woman who has been sleeping with him for several years than he cared about racing cars with his buddies? Maybe, and this is just the thought, he didn't like OP nearly as much as OP might assume, due to OP expressing previous behavior similar to the afformentioned thinking of your friend as *pathetic and weak* for spending time with his girlfriend instead of his friend?
@@userequaltoNullbros before hoes. If this guy is this whipped by his girlfriend, then he doesn’t need to have friends. I can totally understand why this guy would be disgusted at his friend’s girl friend running every aspect of his relationship
I have a friend who tries to control EVERY ASPECT of when we hang out, and it’s exhausting. If I give him too much control, people will start to look down on me as a result. Can we understand why others do not respect men who let their girlfriend run the relationship?
You're mad at your friend because he would rather spend time with his girlfriend during their _anniversary_ instead of going racecar driving with you
1. Inappropriate questioning. 2. Granting Permission. 3. Surveillance
Question: when a man is doing this to his wife, is he also disrespecting her?
@@lisaharmon8401 Oh no... That's part of the double standards of this society. 😉👌
I find a lot of “disrespect” towards men happens from women because men are equally unaware of how they leave women feeling “unseen” for a while before the disrespect happens.
One of the more common issues I’ve noticed is when children enter the picture and men assume the woman will manage most/all of the children responsibilities herself. She’s in a position where her life feels no longer her own, and so some of these examples of disrespect can be the 2nd phase reaction of her not feeling seen. She might start to target his time or money because he’s not seeing how her time or money is her family’s. She might ask herself why does my spouse’s resources remain his, where mine are now communal.
Some typical 1st attempts I’ve noticed from women are trying to directly communicate to her spouse her struggles, where he might have one of 3 responses:
1) He chooses the old school masculinity angle, and pushes her further into an outdated gender role. This places her in a passive aggressive and manipulation position because he cut off her ability to be healthy & direct with him.
2) He chooses the weaponized incompetence angle, which is a very common modern male tactic. He will help her, and make it even harder for her because his help will create more problems, such as trying to make breakfast to help but then he makes the biggest mess in the kitchen afterwards. He tricks her into wanting to manage everything herself, which allows him all his time and resources back, but now he’s going to have her disrespect now because she will see him as her adult child.
3) He actually listens the 1st attempt, he sees that modern families with children who cannot afford nannies, cooks or maids (or a ton of aunties) require more help from the male. Nuclear families and inflation changed the game, and everyone needs to step up. She feels seen now, they work as a team, and create roles that make most sense for them. She has no need to disrespect him, because she is seen and he feels needed & respected.
Great points too. There needs to be context. Some men never admit they are wrong just like there are women that do the same.
You are wrong from point one. There are roles for a reason. Women are better at some things and men are better at some things. This area has been cloudy for awhile....
Finally I saw some worthy comment, most comments here are just men blaming women without context
@@gregorymehlhose1441while there are roles for each, doesn't mean a woman can't have her own life separate from her domestic life while a men is free to have his life however he wants without being attentive to what's going inside in his home, most men are like that these days
This is actually a very good in-depth review of why i had so much stress in previous relationship's with family most of the time
I've never really been in a serious long term relationship before. As a young inexperienced man, this was valuable information for me as someone who doesn't really know what to beware of. Ive only recently heard the term infantilize in the context of a controlling parent so it's a little eye opening to know that could happen in a relationship. Thanks, I have a lot of work to do myself with self esteem, self respect and self leadership.
Also called the 'parent child dynamic' where one partner will start to think of themselves as the parental type. It can be provoked a little bit by the actions of the other partner if they behave more like an infant. But more often it's entered into voluntarily (exceptions include people with ADHD or autism, but that doesn't stop couples from establishing the parent child dynamic). It's often brought about by one partner wishing to control the other and they do it to gain power in the relationship.
Men need to hear this as much as women.
She settled. She has no burning desire for her man; therefore, she spews her misery onto her man. Never stay with a woman who has no desire for you. It’s a miserable way to live. Divorce or break up and walk no matter the financial or emotional cost because it’s a man’s duty to always self improve and live a life of positivity. Otherwise the man will become extremely bitter over time which never ends well.
Ome of the things i likes the most from you videos, contents aside, Is that it's not edited, and i never get bored. It's such an amazing talent
Must push back. As a woman, if I am treating a man in any of these ways, it's because he is either allowing me to, or is subconsciously telegraphing that he's incapable of taking the lead, so someone must take the lead and be the adult in the room.
bla bla bla. you're just a toxic little piece of work. that's all
I was agreeing to this video until he stated that women should never question men which is absolutely terrible advice for women because a male who refuses to answer questions is hiding something and will put a woman in harm’s way. Ladies don’t disrespect men with hurtful words or sarcasm but stop listening to males on the internet giving relationship advice when they themselves have no healthy relationship. The blind leading the blind.
This is spot on a woman that knows how to behave like this will be treated like a queen and then some!
"If you wouldn't say the same thing, in the same way to your boss, you shouldn't say it to the man with which you want to be in a relationship"
Beautifully stated. The entire principle is right here
Definitely a solid point I will share with friends who need the message.
A lot of women are never told these things and never think about it. I believe a woman won't disrespect you if you are her best option, but then again I know some women are emotional roller coasters and sometimes things are more complicated than that. You could very well be her best option but she's so out of touch to even know it.
Yeah, women are told the opposite of this message from childhood. They are told they are badasses, and that no man is worthy of respect. Unfortunately they tend to believe everything that the authorities and society tell them.
Meaning AS LONG AS you’re her best option, which of course can change any day.
I'm a woman and I am so appalled at how many times I've come across posts on social media of women bashing and belittling their husbands, calling them stupid, children, etc. It pisses me off SO fing much! If their husbands did that to them they would torch the city down. I'm disgusted what feminism has done to how women behave in relationships and what most women nowadays think is normal and acceptable and how its supposed to be. Even my dad thinks that my mom controlling him and always emasculating him is normal and acceptable. Its not. Its disgusting.
If she disrespect you first time, you MUST LEAVE HER IMMEDIATELY AND PERMANENTLY!!!!
wow this is actually deep. I'm guilty of the questioning one. usually it's because I believed a guy was lying to me, and it turned out that he was lol. but I guess next time I should figure it out without asking. and when I know, just leave. but then I'd be accused of not communicating.
You don't need to respect a guy who's lying to you. And don't be bamboozled by Dr PsychHacks - he knows how to get easy 'Likes' from men!
If a woman DISRESPECT it’s because she looks down on you and thinks she can do better. If u cut her off she will actually respect you more for standing ur ground…. However if she gets too disrespectful and you cut her off and she comes back after a few weeks or months it’s because whoever she thought she could get that was better than you ….didnt want her back, so u NEVER take a woman back, i know it sucks especially when u really like a girl but if you talk to her about disrespect and she continues to do it and u cut her off chances are there was another guy she respected more and she’s only coming back after a few weeks or months because that guy wouldn’t put up with her ….no matter how much u love a girl ….learn to walk away, the only way u should ever let her back into ur life is to use her just for sex, nothing else
Dang dude, this is some hard-hitting truth you are slinging here. I came across your second part and had to find the first. I haven't checked the comments yet, but I imagine this will go down like a rat sandwich to some ladies out there. I'm particularly interested to see if there are any responses from the ladies that they understand, that would give me some hope for the future. If there are concerned ladies reading this, may I demonstrate the results of this to a man of no consequence? At this stage, I can't imagine any man who would tolerate this.
It is amazing what CPTSD will do to a man when daddy primes him to think chasing an abusive avoidant was his ticket to freedom. I've been scratching and clawing myself out of this deep pit for a number of years now, I am AMAZED at how blind I was while experiencing it in front of my very eyes for decades on end.
Being open and honest is my path to freedom, so I will confirm the validity of what he is saying with a simple confession of what a trauma-induced dysregulated reaction would look like from a man who is earnestly trying to do his best. He will scream back, 'quit treating me like a child'. That should tell you. To those who choose to ignore it, you are a divorced woman walking because he WILL wake up eventually and take his stand as a man and see your true value in his life. Mark my word, it is NOT a pretty sight. It is downright embarrassing I might add. While you might enjoy the power while you have it, a day will come when you will be forced against your will to come to terms with your profound lack of it.
Holy moly, that into, disrespect is different to not respecting. I've been shouting this from the rooftops
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil All the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)
The Bible was so ahead of its time.
Not ahead of its time, timeless. Cause the one who gave it to us is eternal and knows everything and wants what's best for us
I appreciate this message, however they do not care.. She has 100 other options available through social media and will simply move onto the next guy, once the relationship has been sabotaged. this is the reality.
She does not have 100 other “options” via social media.
She has messages, likes, etc. These are not actual “options” and 5 minutes into looking at these msgs, she’s not gonna spend 6.
If you’re eliciting emotions from her, trust me, she’s into you. If you disengage properly after disrespect, she’s going to feel it.
The key to this is to do it properly. And if she feels at all like your life is better without her, she’ll never disrespect or leave you.
@@ThorMaximusthanks for your common sense. Men are totally at fault for complaining about women having options that MEN hand them without them doing anything to deserve it. Why don’t any of these men admit it?
Some Western women start to care (or pretend to) between 28 and 32, when their SMV begins declining. The majority of non-Western women already treat men with respect.
@@marcusmcgraw3519these simps need to get it together man
@@marcusmcgraw3519 You can blame the thirsty zimps for that
By your standards the Women has Never to ask Permission from the man she is with... even in a committed relationship.
I find the book The Surrendered Wife talks about this topic brilliantly. Disrespecting comes from the need to control and sometimes, in a relationship it's better to let go of the idea of controlling your partner.
10/10