Addressing FEMALE DISRESPECT: why this is essential to relationship success
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
- What most people don't understand is that disrespect is a process. The best predictor of overt disrespect is covert disrespect. And this is why it is important to address disrespectful behavior while it is still in its nascent form. Failing to do so will jeopardize your relationship, primarily due to the fact that it is not possible for a woman to love a man she does not respect. I will discuss further in this episode.
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#respect #women #relationship
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What most people don't understand is that disrespect is a process. The best predictor of overt disrespect is covert disrespect. And this is why it is important to address disrespectful behavior while it is still in its nascent form. Failing to do so will jeopardize your relationship, primarily due to the fact that it is not possible for a woman to love a man she does not respect. I will discuss further in this episode.
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
#respect #women #relationship
@@taylorperreti2034 call the police on her
This is an excellent video, thank you 👍
Just one thing, you really need a pop filter for your microphone...
It's impossible for a woman to love a man that she disrespects? But it's possible for a man to love a woman that he disrespects? That sounds narcissistically hypocritical. A man's love without his respect is like serving a woman's favorite dish to her inside of a public toilet bowl.
I make sure to tell young women to never do for [or take from] a man anything that is beneath his dignity to do for [or take from] her.
As a matter of fact, maybe she's the one who needs to make sure that he treats her with the same respect that he would treat his boss with. Otherwise his "love" is as good as toilet paper on the bottom of her shoe [if that].
It's immeasurable your positive contribution to the lives of many, now and in the future,
Thanks,
Could you clarify what you mean when you say it is possible for a man to love a woman he doesn't respect?
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Pro tip to keep you out of my office: if you are disrespected by a woman, RUN. Do not marry. It never gets better. Once you are married, it could be painfully expensive to divorce a nasty, disrespectful woman. Also, learn about narcissistic abuse. You can thank me later.
💯
Thanks for your honesty. I've seen so many women like this. Their outward facades are wonderful and dynamic, but when their dark emotions are triggered... THAT'S IT.... Permanently. They don't bounce back.
I hate you guys and thank the gods I've never had personal experience with you, but you could keep a room entertained for hours with all the horror stories.
@@itzajdmting Best way to discover the truth is to ask her to do something for you. If she gets upset, RUN. Also, dont be afraid to say no or disagree with her. If she gets puset, RUN. You dont want an unco-operative, disagreeable Woman.
Food for though for you Mr. Counselor and Dr. Taraban. Is it then the case that we sabotage these virtues of self-respect, dignity, and truth by rationality and not critical thinking? We often use the word rationality in conjunction with logic however I think we mistook it for critical thinking. I view it the same way people rationalize narratives or stories in their heads that sabotages themselves or ruin relationships. Dr. Taraban in your “why men are jealous” video you mention rationality a little bit too. I'm curious about what your thoughts are. Thank you.
There was a girl I was in a relationship with. She asked to borrow a power bank. I lent it to her with a small pouch, instructing her to keep it inside to protect it from unnecessary dings and scratches, as she likes to throw keys, make up, pens, and everything else together inside her bags. When she returned it to me separately from the pouch, it was completely scratched up. She said she didn't want to use the pouch, which was of black cloth, thin, and lightweight with a drawstring. I asked her why she didn't keep it in the pouch so this wouldn't happen. She replied that she doesn't care with her things getting damaged. I reminded her the power bank is mine, not hers, and that I work hard to have the things that I have and want to maintain them as much as possible. She flipped it and said it's sad I define myself with the things that I have. I knew right then and that she was on the way out, because the power bank did not matter; it was the fact that she did not respect my wishes and therefore does not respect me.
You could have said take care of things when said to and if powerbank got blasted you'll become a racoon with dandelion hairstyle.
Valuable lesson learned early.
Good Call
It seems you are a very orderly person, and you were dating someone who isn't. You should have never lent her that power bank.
You set that chick up for failure, and it seems you took took an arbitrary pet peeve of yours and made it into a larger indictment of her character.
@@billyin4c514With seriously lack of evidence and highly speculative inductive reasoning I'm going to assume you have been rejected in a similar way in the past. And that's totally fine. Incompatibility between two people isn't a major crime nor a verdict of either one's character. But calling OP's assessment arbitrary or petty (pet peeves, not sure if petty logically follows), disregards their honest assessment based on communicating their values and boundaries clearly to the other person. OP is perfectly within their reason to extrapolate the incident to other more significant situations like "is she going to disregard and treat our future children like this, who are powerless in not being disregarded and violated in their preferences?" It's not arbitrary, but subjective. And in a trusty solid relationship subjectivity should be respected and treated with care.
I said the same thing to my soon to be ex-wife, "You don't talk to your boss that way, you don't talk that way to your co-workers, you don't talk that way to your friends. Why do you think that you can talk to your husband that way?". She never got it. She continued to disrespect me. I served her divorce papers.
I followed your suit as well a couple of weeks ago.
GOOD MOVE! We gotta hold the LINE on these bees
She still wins in a divorce, gotta go further if possible
@@radiantveggies9348 she got the money, but he got peace and self respect
@@radiantveggies9348 there is such a thing as cutting your losses. Not the best situation I agree but none of us can see into the future beforehand
If a woman disrespects you, let her know you don't like it. If she gives you a hard time about it, or if she does it again, just leave her. It won't get any better.
you cant just leave someone is this economy!!!!! it cost someone whole paycheck to live in a 1 bedroom apartment!! thats the problem nothing els!!! inflation is forcing people to stay in toxic relationships!!!
You should probably find out why because the next woman will do the same…
@@user-gu6vf3je1d there's alot of assholes out there
@@user-gu6vf3je1d That depends. No self respecting person would be consistently subjected to disrespect because it's unlikely that they would attract those willing to disrespect them, simply because they have respect for themselves.
💯 seconded and agreed from experience.
"Women can't love a man that they don't respect." Remember that brothers.
Women don't love men. Full stop.
as true as that can be, the fact that a man can love a woman he does not respect could be signs of an issue as well.
@@hugsandcurses no, you're just projecting your thoughts. Most of all time men was career or money more advanced than women.
You need respect with someone better than you. On the other side it is fine until you don't disrespect them.
That's why the Bible commands women to respect their husbands...
@@Axrover and men are commanded to honor their wives
My left ear learned a lot today.
But yeah. It’s true. If a chick disrespects you. That’s the death of the relationship
This is why checking your beotch is so important...
Yes 1 of stereo channels is missing. I found it quite irritating.
I thought my headphones were broken lol
Chick!?!?!
@@gretchenthreet6750 if she’s disrespectful she’s not a lady but a chick. If she’s respectful she’s a lady.
Dated a girl that rolled her eyes at me when I would adress issues. I warned her once, warned her twice. She did it again and she was single.
Looking back there were a lot more red flags.
That’s right
You warned her. Wow. I think you were born in the wrong century buddy.
@@AllisonBlunt-hl5my You are right, they don't make men like him anymore
Eye rolling even once was enough redflags. That should have been a deal breaker right away
power to you man, should have done the same took me waaaay too long to follow through on my self-respect.
On a sidenote for everybody reading that: you can't fix a person.
Everyone can only fix theirselves. Fortunately: everybody is capable of doing so.
My ex once called me "dummy" in what I guess she thought was joking in front of the car salesman while he was explaining how the new car worked. I stopped everything I was doing with him, looked her dead in the eyes and told her straight up, "Don't ever call me that again." She got the hint.
You are one of few real man out of all these guys in the comment section who neutered themselves in order to get married only to be divorced later anyway.
@@Landstalker1999I'm sure he has his own problems or he wouldn't be here.
@@isupportthecurrentthing.1514absolutely the reality is the only way to hold a firm line is to never get married through the State government and not have kids. In this frame it's easier to move a disrespectful woman out of your life and many know this. Once your invested with children and marriage the disrespect is almost unavoidable.
@Jose
There's always something you can do. Just have to accept the consequences.
Mutually assured destruction works.
If people know you don't give up, they will treat you better.
@@JoseDiaz-rd9fh (you're) 💀💀 * fixed *
A woman who disrespects you doesn't love you. And if you have kids, they pick up on this disrespect and join the disrespect bandwagon.
Just like Will Smith’s wife and kids disrespect him
So true
@@telebiopic Great example.
Honestly, if she is disrespecting you and you have kids together. She's probably only around for the kids at that point. It makes sense that the disrespect/indifference would pick up sadly.
So true.. that must be hell
Cheers to the tiny fraction of women who managed to make it through the video without finding some reason for why they're ultimately justified in being disrespectful towards men.
…and it’ll always be a tiny fraction.🌿
I found it very helpful.... they dont teach this stuff in schools. Not all kids have the upbringing that teaches these things... this presentation was perfectly reasonable and i feel blessed to have stumbled across it 😊
Hell yeah. That can be measured in by parts per million.
Don't reward them for following God's order and their duty.
@@thomasmulhall4873 it's god's order and my womanly duty to watch some random dude's youtube video? Lol ok. Like I agree with most of the content of the video, but you sound insane.
Disrespect can never be tolerated in a relationship. It gets only worse.
But women should be more respectful towards the man than vice versa, because women's attraction to him is directly tied to her respect for him. For a man on the other hand, he does not need to respect her necessarily to the same degree, but he does need to cherish and love her.
I think most people are unaware of this, but the most common type of relationship in America is one where the woman constantly disrespects, or emotionally abuses the man. No explanation, request, plea, or argument will stop her, so the man has two choices; he can leave her, or he can stay till she's emasculated him so much that she loses respect for him, and she leaves him. This is what feminism has done to relationships in America.
Third option: train her. Takes a lot more effort but it’s almost needed in America due to the media ruining most women
AS IF the things you mentioned never happened before the '60's "sexual revolution" or feminism. Sounds more like a "you problem", guy.
@@CitizenPain69 brilliant
You had me until your dumb feminism comment.
Fourth Option: Use Passport
Covert disrespect by women usually is most common in passive aggressive behaviors. The " I forgot's" or " I didn't realize " or gaslighting to make you believe you're making a mountain out of a molehill for a legitimate complaint. In my experience if it's not nipped in the bud ( and sometimes it will be necessary to leave to do that) what will usually occur is the man will start to have a brooding resentment of the woman. And as Freud said about unexpressed emotions never going away and just coming forth in uglier ways, this will usually cause the man to be overt in his reprimands and comments. Believe it or not, this was the womans goal. Because it simultaneously allows her to leverage your " monstrous " temper as an issue, while also getting to play victim. The best solution is to leave. If a woman doesn't respect you, she most likely never will, and if she does, only under duress. And then your implied demand for respect will breed resentment in her, and magnify her passive aggressive behavior. Its basically a circle of dysfunction. Only solution is to leave. When a woman respects you as a person you could be drunk in an alley and though she may pity you, worry, she won't disrespect you. If she doesn't respect you, she'll be ungrateful by the pool in your mansion.
Women do these same kind of passive aggressive behavior to other women. They want to dish it out but can't take any criticism or rebuttal. I'm more direct but in a respectful way so I can tell you I do not have many female friends. I don't have time to play those stupid games.
@@lillyCfields oh absolutely Lily. They often do this frequently to other female friends and acquaintances. Underhanded comments, passive aggressive excuses, etc. I use to have a few female friends but eventually lost all of them because I'd call them out on their BS/hypocrisy etc. and needless to say they quit speaking. Ive had more peace since then. They mainly just use you as an emotional dumping ground to vent to. And lord help you if something good happens in your life. A lot of fake " congrats" and secret sneers of envy. Overall, just lousy one sided " friends "
this is so on point @mo dickens
Yes the best option is to say good bye, there are loots of fishes in the sea to put up with that.... better to sepend that time developing new relations.
@@adirice4636 thanks !
Once upon a time, an adult female in her fifties and I were chatting at a club meeting. At that time I was a man in my thirties practicing diagnostic medicine. Her husband was a very important elected officer in our local county government. In my presence, she disparaged how little money he made. I was so shocked that I immediately ended the conversation. I have learned that many females are NEVER satisfied with anything that any man ever does for them!
My wife did that to me during her sisters birthday, at the dinner table; one of her female cousins said something along the line that I'm a good husband to which my dear wife replied how my salary is poor. Her cousins reaction was "the fuck does that has to do with anything?" I was hurt and mad as hell.
When I later confronted her about that, guess what, I didn't get an apology for public humiliation. If it weren't for our two beautiful sons...
If there’s one thing I learned about women over the years, it’s that you will never be good enough for them and they won’t be afraid to say it. This is why I’ll never get married. Who needs that in their life?
@@Concreto1984 Divorce her a*s or make it solidly clear she was disrespectful and ungrateful !!!
Divorce her a*s or make it solidly clear she was disrespectful and ungrateful !!!
What did you practicing medicine in your 30's have anything to do with the point of that story?
My wife lost respect for me over time. I didn't see it. Until finally, she 'blew up' and said she was sick of me and like a man, I had no idea. But based on what you are saying, I now see the trend from the past...very clearly. She had lost respect for me before she had finally abandoned ship. I was too nice, too wimpy, too simpy, too unconfident, and that will never happen to me again going forward. Thanks for your advice.
i have to tell you this brother, she NEVER respected you. she didn't like you from the get go. i know that may be hard to hear but i think its the truth. woman will form relationships with men they hate for personal gain. a woman who likes you will NEVER disrespect you and won't let anyone else disrespect her man around her. she was never on your side and always hated you. she wanted what you had, not YOU. as a wife she could just take what you worked for and leave you once she was sure that she could take it all. she did not lose respect for you brother, she never had respect for you to begin with. the truth hurts sometimes but it must be faced.
@@sirjay6655people are not static. She may have had feelings for him before but might have died somewhere along the way.
@@sirjay6655You are projecting here.
@@KnightyKnight I think actually it's more of a generality of how it goes that this "Projecting guy" is speaking on.
Remember the key words was the OP said he "didn't realise that she had lost respect".
In order to realise someone has gained respect for you, it should work vice versa. Truth is the guy is not far off. He probably thought there was respect but wasn't one to realise that there weren't but he learned how to realise what are the factors and ways respect is shown and maintained through the rocky and bumpy ride of the relationship. Problem is, again, he said he will probably most likely end up in that pathway in the future, implying he may not change his approach but I somewhat doubt he won't, he may not notice it at first but if he repeats it all again he will ecit the relationship sooner and value himself more. Nobody deserves disrespect outrightly.
@@simbz194 A stranger on the internet has no idea another stranger was "never" respected by someone. It's impossible to know. It's jumping to a conclusion off a tiny sample of evidence.
My wife is so submisive and respectful, it sometimes amazes me. In turn, I try my best to honor her as the queen she is. I really struck gold with her and I can only thank God. There are still good women out there, don't be fooled by the loud-mouthed feminist lost souls.
Few and far between my friend Don't be Ignorant You definitely
got lucky as hell. But It's good to know someone From the other side lol
@@bradrogers4281 lol, how is anything I just said ignorant?
@@MarkKaranjaM4Kwell, the fact is, the majority of men in America have no relationship, bad relationship, child alienation, payments and extortion from a woman, a single mother for their own mother, court cases and cold shoulders.... The large majority sir are going through or have gone through enough women that we don't want one. You are a very very very small minority.
@@bradrogers4281many people live on planet ME and don't see other people's struggle. I'd say: Give someone a ride, go to a shelter, ask a veteran or a divorced man what struggle is really like... You know?
Women have their struggles too but NOTHING like men's.
@@Caesar-nq5if sounds like a lot of Men don’t learn their lessons.
My partner is respectful, submissive and caring. She is an amazing woman and in turn, she gets my protection, resources and love and attention.
It depends on their programming and nurture environment. Then it depends if they’re willing to learn themselves too and what our species is really all about
I once had to spend a night in jail in a dangerous neighborhood because of a false accusation. The police knew I was innocent. Before they sent me in they told me, "Don't look at anyone, but don't look at the ground. If someone fights with you, FIGHT BACK." This is how you have to act around people who behave like animals.
What was the police trying to say?
@@petergriffin513 In short: Don't let them take your prison purse. 💀
Thanks for sharing that story. The police gave good advice we can all use do to day.
@@GearZNet prison pouch XD
Imagine if they behaved like decent people and said, “We know you’re innocent, and we’re going to do something evil and retarded like putting you in jail for the night.”
I address the disrespect on an almost DAILY basis. I get so tired of doing it, I'm ready to just give up. Its like I have to explain it to a 5 year old over and OVER and OVER.
Also another big excuse I have gotten is "I was just kidding" to which I will reply, I wasn't laughing, I did hear anyone else laughing... YOU didn't laugh... also I have ignored it and then they tend to repeat it, in which case I will ask how many time does a comedian repeat the punchline?
Save yourself. Life is too short.
Let her Azz go. There are a minority of women who will choose not to disrespect you, deal with them.
@@simoncameron4355 Once, after only six months of marriage, my wife figured out how to access my bank account ( she has a good-paying job ), she attempted to wipe my account out, but the bank stepped in to prevent that. Later she said: ‘it was just a joke’. Now I can see she’s basically sadistic, with a bit of psychosis mixed in. Funny, cute and outgoing part of the time, then switching to this opposite version that makes the cruelest, sick and perverse comments…never showing any remorse, and definitely no apologies.
@@jimstenlund6017 Thank u for sharing
Totally agree. I let my ex with tons of disrespectful actions, thinking that she'll realize one day she would be wrong. WRONG! She left.
The other days,I went out with a woman. Wee agreed to a first meeting at a certain day and hour. She postponed it for a silly reason. I accepted, just because I knew her. After the first meeting,who went pretty well, she invited me to movies. I agreed. Few hours before the movie begins, I call her to confirm. She said she is not sure,but she would try hard to come and she will let me know a little later. I told her not to come anymore. She was a smart and very attractive woman,but when I see these red flags,I don't care. It's better to have discovered them early.
Yes 🙌 Good for you!
Never let a women just beat around the bush when it comes to inviting them or them inviting you
this sounds like a sh*t test, and you passed with flying colors.
If you are not sure if they love you, then they definitely don't.
It could have been she was not that interested or it could have been she was truly busy. If she was busy she would apologise I think.
as a women who has seen a side of me in a relationship that i don’t want to be, i am here to heal 🙏💗
Same. I so needed to come across this page. I have been delusional. And growing up in a household where no respect was shown from either party has messed me up. I've disrespected a lot of men and didn't even realized it. Then wondered why my relationships have failed. I really like this men now we have been on and off for about 5 months because of my disrespect. I always apologize for my behavior and he always takes me back. The sex is sooo good. But it wasn't until I came across this channel it finally clicked in my mind exactly what I was doing without realizing it. Questioning him about things I shouldn't, going through his phone, verbally saying nasty things when i feel insecured, etc. I have been changing my attitude and picking my battles and making it known I here to help. Things are starting to go a lot smoother. I don't want to lose him.
@@uniFlor-ve9ht
That’s fantastic. I’ve been the victim of disrespect in relationships. Growth and awareness are good.
Share the knowledge to the other women then, because that what men are enduring from your gender is outrageous.
@@uniFlor-ve9ht Kudos to you!
God bless women like you 🙏
Not knowing what a women's "shit test" was almost ended my marriage. Once I found out what was going on, and I asserted my demand for respect or I'm leaving her (and she knew I meant it), the shit tests for the most part ended, and things got better. I end any tests now immediately with authority, she pouts for five minutes, and then is all happy, soft spoken, and pleasant. Women are weird.
Men don't understand women,we try but we just don't.
Women understand women, that's why they hate each other.
What I never understood is, what motivation does a man have to *continue* with a woman who even *attempts* to do this to someone she claims to want as "her man?" What assurance would that man have of a truly enjoyable relationship with her, knowing that junk is lurking beneath the surface , always looking for a proper opening? How can that man TRUST her? How can that man relax in his own house?
@@hotice8885 It makes sense for a woman to test him to see how he reacts to subtle challenges and disrespect. If he takes it from her, he'll take it from other men.
No women are not weird this is an evolutionary trait women developed over time to weed out weak men and ensure her hind brain that she always has best available option i.e the strongest man. Overt disrespect should always be checked immediately & covert ones should be punished immeidately by ridicule, withdrawaing attention, resrouces e.t.c women are counterintuitive
@@hotice8885 I can't understand it either. It's like having to live with a dragon you know you have to watch out for their next eruption to extinguish. 'she pouts for five minutes' - that's a sulking child, not a mature adult.
Just imagine a "relationship" where one party has to constantly remain primed to subdue acts of disrespect, lest they lose their partner's love, while the other party can behave in ways which are piteous and STILL be loved regardless.
Not only that, the culture tells them THEY'RE the one that's settling for less than their worth, too.
Yeah, it's a hard pass from me.
The real paradigm shift is once you realize that they're being tested, too, and failing your tests. You're essentially testing them to see if they can be collaborative and supportive partners by conducting themselves with honesty and respect and everything else good. If they can't, kick them to the curb and free yourself up for a woman who can.
There was never any love to lose if disrespect tests are part of the plan. It was only ever "are you robust enough to protect me". Hard pass from me too Sammy.
Oh and it gets even better. Imagine divorcing AND paying for these banshees? Never get married fellas.
This is why I find lesbian relationships can never last. The constant gaslighting, emotional/mental manipulation, the shit testing....No wonder women that claim to be lesbians (but are obviously bi) still go for men as a "break".
Amen brother, ain’t that shit the truth
As a woman, one of the most important pieces of advice my father shared was that if there is no respect, there is no relationship. I was raised to conduct myself with class and treat others with basic decency and respect, but not tolerate disrespect when I’m faced with it. Women who are disrespectful towards their partners grew up in homes where there was no respect demonstrated in the family.
I’ve seen men get disrespected by their wives in broad daylight. I once worked for a husband and wife team where I was skilled in something they didn’t know, and the wife wasted no time making her husband feel stupid for not knowing equipment that I knew because I had prior training.
I’ve gone on couples dates where the wife was disrespectful to the husband. Husband and I vowed to never vacation with them.
Yup, I told my ex don't "introduce me to your female friends and mention in the intro that my ex wife cheated on me" she thought it was some funny bonding intro since her female friends had been cheated on. Again, this is the first time I ever met them. Needless to say she did it more than once. Sick...I was out
It amazes me that society refuses to recognize how many women engage in behavior they ALWAYS accuse men of and they always get a free pass.
Gaslighting, narcissism, controlling money and other behavior etc. I've seen so many male friends suffer it with good spirits, but if it was the other way around...
Men want peace and respect
It's so common it's regarded as normal and is even the subject of comedy shows. But the guy who puts his foot down in response gets called controlling or abusive. The worst type of women will refuse to ever back down and continue to escalate to the point of violence which they initiate themselves. This way the guy automatically looses every time, because women are rarely held accountable for any type of violence, be it physical or emotional, the man is the default perpetrator even if he just pushes her away to avoid her blows.The only way out is to leave, but then they have you over in the divorce too. Fuck getting married ever again. This is why personal accountability is key to a mature relationship. Blaming others for problems clearly caused by their own actions is a massive red flag, expect that person to be blaming YOU for problems in future too.
@@enemyofthestatewearein7945 Agreed. What a sad way to live one's life.
In my last relationship, most of the times that she did something which i openly and communicatively took issue with she would push it aside with "youre overreacting, insecure, controlling etc." After a certain point I decided to just take it on the chin then do the exact same thing she did a few hours or a day later, sometimes word for word. Every single time she started crying bloody murder about me mistreating her and demanding an apology, and only some of the times was she able to accept that I was just treating her how she treated me. Even with that acceptance and a half hearted, forced apology she would still demand that i apologise even though i did nothing other than point out her own hypocrisy.
@@callanc3925 Too much logic hurts people who behave that way. If they're not careful, they'll have to understand that they need to work on themselves like the rest of us 😆
Not only that, but it's celebrated in popular culture. Look at how many adverts there are where the man is put down on by the wife in a jokey manner, or shown to be incompetent in some way. Contemporary dramas written from a female perspective are no better.
The best predictor of overt disrespect from a wife is how weak the husband is to put up with that kind of sh!t over time. After my first 9 year marriage experience, I learned to never allow any woman I was in a relationship to ever disrespect me, even a little. My second marriage is so much better. 15 years, 5 kids, and a wife that has gratitude and respect. I’d much rather have a woman’s respect than any feelings of being in love with me.
This is because for women, respect = love. At least, the love they're capable of showing someone that's not their child or pet.
Yeah because males can’t love anyway so I guess settle for respect maybe🚶🏾♀️
@@tabbypanda82 🤥
@@tabbypanda82 So I'm guessing you can't respect a man, and are not in a relationship?
@@isovideo7497 & you’ll keep guessing🚶🏾♀️…cause I owe you NOTHING go chew sheet metal Sir
After disrespect comes overt contempt. Once contempt appears, that is the official end of a relationship.
Absolutely valid because I experienced this myself years ago.
Covert disrespect becomes OVERT disrespect.
Overt disrespect becomes overt ANTAGONISM.
Overt antagonism becomes active ABUSE.
That abuse can be devastating.
Stop that cycle by any means necessary.
_By any means necessary_
This is so true. I just ended a 2 year relationship. long before I ended it, I had realized that all of the nasty problems that arose were because I did not enforce my boundaries, primarily the boundary of requiring respect. early on she would say disrespectful things to me and I warned her multiple times that it was not okay yet it continued. Since I refuse to let her walk all over me, and I didn't want to end it, I chose the worst option of all, to reciporocate that nasty energy. It snowballed into a shit show that lasted nearly 2 years. When she asked why I was ending things, I told her that she placed me in a position where I had to choose between respecting myself and loving her. In the end I chose self respect. Lesson learned the hard way.
Your story is all too familiar. Thanks for sharing
I went through this exact same process, except it lasted 8 years. To be fair it was my first relationship so I had no idea what I was doing.
Eventually I chose self-respect. But it has come at the cost of divorce rape by a bitter abusive woman.
@@gordonwatson328 trust me it does get better over time
Why do mothers use their children to leverage control and power over their husband? Feminism tells women to refuse to serve or submit to their husband. So wives become oppositional and defiant. And the responsible husband and father is now trapped.
@@gordonwatson328 Sorry you had to go through that man. I know I dodged a bullet by getting out before marriage and with no kids involved.
A tough lesson I've learned is that playing the role of Peacemaker is ( subconsciously) an act of sabotage to a relationship. You MUST be prepared to address,and check all forms of disrespect. By letting it "slide" to avoid conflict , the seed of resentment is planted. In a word.....OVER!!!!
True
Is this you taking responsibility for the problem?
@@dirkslifeadvice5339 no one else is gonna " take" the responsibility for me. Gotta own your own screw- ups.
I think I disagree with your use of "peacekeeper." Being a peacekeeper does not mean being a pushover. You can work to de-escalate conflict while still holding your boundaries. I would absolutely say my husband is a peacekeeper, and that's one of the reasons I respect him, but he also pushes back on me when I am in a bad mood and saying things out of hand, and is willing for me to pushback on him when the reverse is true. Our arguments have gone substantially down over the course of our marriage as we learn to trust and respect each other more and our communication improves as we both aim for peace.
THISSS!! Be a man and address the bs in the first place… you are valuable my guys!
I'm a woman, I have three daughters and one son, thank you for this, it's very, very, very helpful, from now on your suggestion will be my rule.
Every man, no, every boy should watch this video and recognize these patterns. I had to learn the hard way after being bullied for years mostly by groups of girls in middle school. It drained my self-esteem and self-worth for years down the road.
Don't ever let anyone disrespect you, even if you may chalk it up to being "nice" on your part. There's absolutely people, yes women too, that will see the opportunity and emotionally abuse you for your kindness and lack of ego.
Same happened to me in middle school too. Society is cold
My last gf was under the impression that she was MY boss. I nipped the disrespect the moment it reared it's ugly head. I tried multiple times to get the message across but finally gave up and walked away. I value my peace and harmony above all else.
Had the same issue and it made no sense. She would tell me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her yet got indignant when she didn't get her way. I made it clear that I won't tolerate disrespect for ALL the love in the world. She'd make excuses and do it again, over and over until I finally said that I was done and broke it off. She tried to fix it for weeks but I stood my ground. Why didn't she learn after the first time????????
It was a freaking roller-coaster ride! I had to shatter her ego with some harsh truths to get her to finally give up and move on.
@@JohnDoesItAll nice self reply ✔️
The point made that women need to respect their guy to love him reminds me of how often women ditch a relationship when the guy has a crisis in his life or business. If a guy is devastated by say, a bereavement, and is upset and exhibiting depressed, weak, behaviours, she may well lose respect and end the relationship. Ditto if his business fails and he has to let his staff go, becomes unemployed, depressed etc. Of course, her breaking the relationship will not be described in those terms, she will find a way to blame him.
If women cannot respect men because real-life happens, that just means women are incapable of loving men.
Sugar and spice.
Two breakups I had from two separate women followed this pattern. Both times it was after I was feeling down and depressed about life in general. Though both times they didn't blame me outright (one even claimed to still love me) they couldn't remain loyal in the hard times. (Today men get shit for being unemotional and stoic. The thing is, if men aren't stoic, the consequences tend to be far worse.) Traditional marriage vows have that line "for better or worse, in sickness and in health." I believe they were mostly addressing women with that one.
@@jackcozad6345Precisely.
What exactly is the point of a "relationship" if she won't stick around through the bad times?
Better to hire an escort...
I lived this. I became depressed due to changes in my life. I was hoping to get emotional support from my ex, instead a side of her, I had only seen once before, which I addressed immediately at that time, came out of hiding, she turned into my bully. I was unable to put her in her place this time due to my depression. This made me more depressed but made me realize the type of future that awaited me if I stood there. I walked out. I am sorry for whatever guy gets trapped in her web after I left.
Having been on the receiving end of disrespect from my wife of 18years. I had supported her choices. When things started to go bad and the disrespect was causing issues. I pulled support and backing back her in some areas. This was a punishment.
I always told the kids to respect their mum. She disrespected me infront of the kids a few times. After that I stopped saying to them to respect your mother. I just walked off, and they started to disrespect her. She started a pattern of negative behavior.
She mentioned after a bit of time the kids no longer listen to her.
I mentioned that I supported you, and had them respecting you. You undermined me continually in front of them. So I pulled my support of you away. If we can't work together, support each other, things will go down hill. My authority was being undermined, we also need to provide a united front or the kids will tear us apart.
Next time the disrespected me, i darted my eyes at my wife, she replied "Do not disrespect your father".
In the beginning of our relationship I told my man I understood he was the Captain and I the 2nd in command. Smooth sailing.
You are 100% correct. If she doesn't respect you, she will never love you. The more you become a doormat to her the amount of disrespect will rise, and she will become resentful of you. So stand up to her tests and end the disrespect as soon as possible
Women don’t love
@@carlospita6442 they only love their sons
@@carlospita6442 Most women don't truly love men, they only love the way men make them feel and the lifestyle they can bring her. Once the new relationship's "butterflies and tingles" wear off, she has emotionally checked out and is off looking around for other men while keeping the current guy around for convenience.
@@SRMoore1178 yeah you right
@@carlospita6442 of course they do, maybe YOU never felt loved, and you need to figure it out.
Ever since women stopped being of interest to me, my life has taken an upward trajectory.
Wow!
Stopped wasting time and disrespecting yourself and started worrying about getting better.
*IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR A WOMAN TO LOVE YOU IF SHE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU* Wow, I needed to hear that, I mean I sort of knew it already but you validated it in one short phrase !!
women don't love men......even the ones they have tingles for.
ANDREW TATE.
They don’t love you anyway
I wish I had seen this video a few years ago. Over the last 6 to 10 months of our marriage my wife was acting increasingly disrespectful. This culminated in two months ago her committing adultery and then having the audacity to blame it on me and request divorce, move out and put our house on the market. I am blindsided, I am alone [she ensured over the years together that my friends and I no longer had any relationship. ]In essence she completely destroyed my life.
damn
only if you let it go there! now you see that woman for her real selfish self, you are a good enough guy to pull yourself up, dust yourself off and go on with life; find your friends , make amends, or make new ones and remember, women need us more than we need them! after all when it comes right down to it, any good whore is a natural counterbalance to a bitch, and you pay them TO LEAVE so you can get back to your friends and hobbies. Just remember YOU are the prize and can leave them at any time! There are literally thousands out there that are a better match for you than that bitch. Dont look back and wish for more abuse, respect yourself enough to see this, or get help, only dont let yourself live in the past!
I hope you're doing better now, man. You deserve to be happy!
Sorry to hear that. Don’t get stuck in the past, what’s done is done and you can’t change the past. Let go, think about the future and move positively forward. Small steps, every day.
You now have some very hard earned, important and expensive wisdom. Don’t let it go to waste.
Look at how a woman interacts with and feels towards her father. If she is regularly disrespectful, that is a HUGE red flag.
Not always
Mine thinks her father walked on water with Jesus
All men have to be like her father
No one will ever be good enough for her
Told her that
No response
SO MUCH THIS
My sister.
I would like to add, that once your female partner no longer respects you, you can never regain her respect in that relationship again. Even if you effectively correct your behavior in which created the disrespect. The only way to fix it is to leave the relationship for an extended amount of time so the contrast from the old behavior to the corrected behavior are very clear. More than likely you won’t want her back by then anyways.
better yet run lol
No you won't want her back at all.
@@stevegrantland1201 No. I miss who she was but there is zero tolerance for infidelity.
You can cheat on her and it will make her respect you again. It's retarded I know. Only works if you're unapologetic
wow, I am there atm in a marriage with kids, however she does seen to be trying to change, however I don't know if it's a charade or her genuine desire to change.
Maybe she's knows what's out there and realizes what she has is gold compared to what's outside.
The thing is she was caught in an inappropriate behavior with someone else and though she didn't go all the (so she claims) inside I know I can't allow her bad behavior to 'rewarded'
Now I can leave but I know the kids will be affected in a bad way cuz I'm the one that bring and enforces structure and discipline in them so if we separated all my work will be eventually undone in them and the cycle would be repeated.
So even though I'm choosing to stay I do plan to restrict or reform how our relationship will work while she adjusts her behavior (as she seems willing to and is doing)
But it's really hard cuz I do think that's it's unfortunate for both her and me cuz her upbringing really affected us and I was weak and thought that it wouldn't matter.
she needs help and tye only other reason I'm willing to stick around besides investing in my kids stability is that she's showing changed behavior and not just saying it and it bugs me that mow that's she's operating more like the woman I need, I still have to 'punish her previous transgression' and I think how she takes it will decide the fate of our marriage, but I am fully ready to accept it cuz had it not been for the kids ending things would've been best.
You covered why we need to address disrespect, but not how to address disrespect. I would appreciate a video on that specifically. How, as a man, should I address disrespect in the moment, in an effective way.
I’m going through this with my current girlfriend. I’ll tell you what actions Im putting forth. First of all.. never show rage, disrespect or yell as these are things that’ll destroy your frame as a man and be used against you. You simply tell them that you don’t like their attitude and behavior towards you. Be calm and respectful and mindful on how you say it. Be polite and loving when addressing your issues. I’m an understanding person and I know things aren’t gonna get fixed overnight. My girlfriend has been treating me with disrespect the last 6 weeks and I’ve been letting her know that it’s not something I’m gonna tolerate. A couple of days ago she was pissed off about other problems in her life and decided to take it out on me. If it’s bad behavior that’s been consistent for more than a couple of days then it’s time to be stern. I raised my voice and told her you’re not gonna be doing that to me. I told her I understand that life sucks and you’re going through stuff and it’s not panning out the way you want but I’m not your punching bag and I deserve respect. She later tried to flip it on me trying to say that my behavior isn’t good either. I use to get upset, yell and be a jerk but I changed and I know for a fact that I’ve been the best person/friend/lover towards her and was supportive and loving for the last couple of months after we almost broke up because my old behavior was a root cause of all her problems, now I know she’s full of it and she’s gotta work on herself. I told her that she’s delusional and that she even quoted how great I’ve been. I said you’re blinded by your emotions and pride and too stubborn to realize you have a problem. The next day we we’re supposed to go out to LA but she was depressed because it was originally supposed to be her sister but she flaked and ghosted her. She had planned this for over a month. She made a big deal about this trip and I agreed to go and she bailed cuz she was depressed and I just wanted to talk about it and salvage the situation and comfort her but she got even more angry and disrespectful. Told her that she’s wasted my time and that she made a huge deal just to not go and it was annoying. Told her I was done and that I’m gonna leave the house for a couple of days. They have to know you’re not someone who’s gonna take shit from anyone especially your girlfriend. That’s were I’m at… I’ll update and see if things get better.
@@CourierSix9 Wasting your time. Trust an old man.
@@CourierSix9 how’s everything going? You okay?
@ it was going great for like a couple of weeks. Binged s3x for a couple of weeks straight. That’s rare and I figured things were getting better. We also weren’t arguing but things went south and we got into a huge fight like 4 days ago. Misunderstandings turned into arguments and arguments turn into fights. I got fed up and walked away and left without saying a word for 4 days until she got worried and texted me if I was okay. Later found out she thought I was cheating but she calmed her insecurities and I reassured her… told her I’m leaning on the decision if we should break up but It’s hard because I love her. She told me she felt the same way… the next day we hung out and flirted and had a good time. Now we are back to “normal “ it’s a cycle. At least each time I feel is less severe and usually we learn. Idk.. dont attach emotionally to anyone. You don’t think logically.
@@CourierSix9 If you don't have children, listen to me, man, because I didn't listen: RUN AWAY.
Went on a first date with a woman once who at the end of the evening went over and hugged her ex as we left.
In a subsequent discussion of the incident I gently raised the subject of respect - she actually laughed.
I kick myself for not ending it after that first date, as I had fully intended to do, but needless to say our relationship was very very shortlived.
that's better than having it strung on for longer, though I'm glad you appear to have not been emotionally invested in it either. It seems you tried to see if it would repeat itself and once it presented itself again you ended things?
@@MichterPianopunster16 I don't think most people are emotionally invested on the first date. I gave her a second chance, which was a massive mistake. I should have trusted my intuition from the outset as numerous other contraindications lay just down the road.
That wasn’t disrespect
@@TheMightyWalk Yes it was bucko.
She brought her EX on her first date with you?????? What?
IMO a phrase often used by younger women on social media, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best", is also a sign of disrespect.
I told someone - Your best is not worth putting up with your worst.
Disrespect matters between individual people, if they're just making general messages that's not disrespecting anybody, just trying to signal something
@@aaronweiss3294 To me that quotes comes across as, "I'll only think about myself while doing whatever I want, even if it bothers you. Deal with it! Only if you put up with that long enough, will I actually bother to think about you once in a blue moon." Which screams toxic relationship to me. And it also sounds super selfish and disrespectful towards your partner to begin with. A healthy relationship isn't a "me, me, me" relationship.
💯
@@aaronweiss3294 It’s tilling the soil to grow a crop of subservient men and should therefore be taken seriously and addressed.
100% correct. It takes younger men years to figure out what you just said. Women can get lippy, and they'll test men, we all know this. Younger men don't know their authority and they're afraid to risk losing a sexual relationship to find out. I personally know this's true. These days I will not put up with one single little slight, or disrespectful comment or mumble. It is essential that women know they're dealing with a confident, self aware, confident man who deserves respect. Do NOT let women get away with fucking with you. Be strong for both and assert you're male authority. Gently but firmly and immediately.
Damn Bob, your words are attractive af. You still single? 😅
@@JaZmine147 Sure am.. because I've learned that women will totally put her man on Secret Probation while they do whatever in the background w/o telling her guy but still keeping a very snoopy-sharp eye on him. And yes, I understand biologically, women have to be selective and I'm cool with that. But let's be honest, unless you're dealing with a metrosexual urban effeminate man who hates sweating, works as a Starbuck barista sporting a man-bun who hasn't lifted anything heavier than their smart phone or an X Box Controller in their lives, us heterosexual, 6'0" or taller men who've accomplished things, who're worth anything, who know right from wrong and manage their lives well, we men control marriage and relationships. Women only control sex which is why most hookers and sex workers are heterosexual women making money off heterosexual men who've got the money to spend, because they're high-value and accomplished, and mostly older because wealth building takes time but we men will never want a relationship with that sex-worker-hooker. These men are only engaging that sex-worker-hooker because their current wife of girlfriend isn't f*cking them the way they want. 100% true. ...So what can I do for you, Ja Z and who are you? I'm listening.
I concur. As a guy with the same woman for decades, this is what you must do. Be firm, but fair. I told my woman I am willing to forgive mistakes, and the occasional bad day- it happens to all of us. But I have no patience left for disrespect. People respect strength. Apologize only when you have legit made a mistake. Don't do it to keep the peace.
What is an example of this? Just saying things and then leaving if it continues? I can't imagine you mean anything physical.
@@EndlessMike ...never physical. Relationships need to be managed; they are not a go-with-the-flow thing. Part of the management require rewards & consequences. Women intuitively understand this, but men largely don't because we're expected to "make women happy." This is a big mistake for men. Men's value is supposed to be self-evident and demonstrable, or why would women want to engage an exclusive, monogamous relationship with us? Women naturally think they are irreplaceable, men don't and that's a problem. I've learned to have a VERY important conversation upfront, when considering exclusivity and a long term relationship: Talk about expectations and be very honest. The topics include rules, sex, money and whatever is else that both people feel are essential. And when I say essential I do mean needs NOT whimsical conveniences and window-shopping wants. This conversation, if done with maturity will set the guard-rails of the relationship that you can refer to when one or the other goes astray. If one or the other partner goes astray, then a legitimate conversation needs to happen. For instance, women tend to think what they have is theirs and what you have is also theirs. This is not true, and don't let a woman convince you that it is. If a woman convinces you that everything you have is hers, she will walk all over you and disrespect you constantly. Do not let this happen. Do yourself a huge life-favor and have a conversation about expectations.
This strikes home with me for sure. Percieved and actual disrespect wears ya down way too much, and is all too common, and for some reason, is all the dudes fault, no matter what. And never apologies, but demands that you apologize for how you feel rather than them apologize for MAKING you feel the way you do.
For real! I once had a woman go off at me when drunk. Say some really mean stuff which was totally out of context with how well she knew me as a person. We were on our 9th date maybe and had been having mind blowing sex (on both sides) from date 1 and that was very much the foundation of the relationship. I tried to brush it off that night and we went to bed then next morning she was all over me and we had great sex as per usual. But you could smell the elephant in the room. When I got ready to leave her place she asked me if I was still angry from the night before and I said 'a little', to which she said 'oh, don't be angry, it's not healthy for you'. But I was in a hurry to leave for a meeting so I did not want to have a conversation right then and there and said something like 'let's talk about it later'. Then she proceeded to hardly let me out the door by kissing and clinging on to me, literally into the hallway of her apartment building with her stark naked!
Now, I took that mornings behavior as her using sex to try and make the problem go away. Also, she pretty much admitted she'd been in the wrong (why else would I have reason to be angry) but did not apologize and instead turned it on me (you should not be angry...it's not healthy for you). Well, I pretty much decided to end things and not contact her again but that if she reached out to me and genuinely apologized then we could talk. But she never bothered to do that, which speaks volumes. I do regret not putting her in her place but on the other hand, it was not my problem to solve. Guys, if someone disrespects you like this then it's THEIR problem, not yours.
Drunks and children can't hide themselves, one see through them, so good call.
@@asdzt123 There's a Latin phrase that sums it up perfectly (for drunks anyway): In vino veritas.
Forget about a verbal apology, explain 3 strikes and your out, observe her behaviour (drunk or not). You could still be having great sex, altho u would have to be a man of your word
@@russellbaker4256 There can be no 3 strikes and you're out in this case. When a woman disrespects you like this, and not only doesn't apologize but tries to make it seem like you should just get over it, then there is no going back. Without respect you have nothing. Amazing sex is not worth lowering myself as a person, which is what I would have been doing if I'd continued. And either way, I was sick of listening to her boring stories. We had very little in common apart from the physical.
Fast forward to now and I've been with with an amazing woman for the last 10 months. She's everything that crazy girl wasn't, with amazing sex thrown in too. So the morale of the story is don't waste your time with people who don't respect and value you. Find people who do.
One thing some women do that I don't like is they go around talking about how a guy is so scary to them, even if he has not exhibited any aggressive behavior. They just don't like the way he is expressing himself. Then when a guy who is really dangerous comes along they buddy up to him so they can use him as a weapon against other males they don't like. One time I was over at this guy's house, and he had a friend and his girlfriend there. The guy's friend was talking a little loud, but he had done nothing threatening to anyone. This guy's girlfriend pulled me aside and tearfully said, "He is scaring me." Then the next thing she did was start to flirt with the guy. This woman was working as hard as she could to start a fight. Some women make it their business to be afraid of certain guys. They use their "fear" as a weapon.
Fax
When my ex-wife intimated I was "scaring" her when I was angry during an argument where I barely raised my voice, I should've left her right there. They will use fear as a manipulation tactic to get their way, any kind of weaponized victimhood to get control or leverage in the relationship. Some even try to mess with you subtly in public to get you to lose your cool so you can be the bad guy and she can be the victim in front of others.
She sounds like a psycho. 😂
Yes they are very manipulative like that haha.
My sister is the same.
Had a conversation with my GF a week ago about this very thing. She was talking about her past BF's in a large group setting with me there. Told her later it was disrespectful, and I would not put up with it.
The best thing to do is to turn it around - I asked her if she would feel respected or disrespected if I talked about my late wife in that setting and she got the message REAL quick.
Hmm. Usually I don't even try to speak logic cause normally it doesn't work. But probably how you say it more than getting your point across.
@@alfaisaac024 just speak logically, if you're with a smart woman, she'll get your message and she will adjust. Sometimes this "disrespect" is just teasing because she doesn't see a genuine "action" from your side or she was too comfortable around you, so she was talking to you the way she'll speak to her brother.
But in order to be respected, you must be a "man of your word", and she knows that you don't repeat the same thing twice.
Son, that sounds like contempt or a shiite test, either way its bad news... I wish I could get the context of how it happened, that would give me a sense of why she did it.
However, my question to you is, would you be willing to dump her quick and move on if it happens again ? and I believe it will.
@@josephzsoka874 maybe it how they use to communicate, that's why I'm against talking about previous relationships, the person in front of you has nothing to do with your ex, deal with him accordingly and make it clear to the man that you don't want to hear aout his past, that's what I do to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
I was considering dating (for a marriage) a man but he was always referring to his ex, she did this, they used to do that, she was like this, I decided not to take any step further. I also noticed that many people do that (regarding of their gender) and I'm surprised that people don't react, they see it as normal then they get sensitive when the other speak about an ex in front of others... they shouldn't speak about exes in ANY SETTING, problem solved.
@@Ssookawai No ma'am, problem NOT solved. The best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour.
Furthermore, this just not about 'talking about your ex' , its about 'talking about your ex's in front of a large group'...that's shaming behaviour, and contempt.
When a woman shames a man in private, its about controlling HIM, but when a woman shames a man in public, its about contempt. The woman is openly declaring that, that man is not important enough to respect in a social setting. I believe the GF in this original thread post is declaring to his social ( and hers ? ) group, that he is not important to her...maybe she's trying to break up with him, or, control his behaviour thru coercion; that is, if you don't follow my lead I will shame and disrespect you in a large group. That's why I asked him for some social context... to see how she is using her tactic.
And finally, woman tend to project their fears and concerns, and to some degree, hide their own indiscretions...ma'am did you comment the way you did, because your guilty of this too ?
If the boss analogy is not well received, you can just flip it.
"Would you say that to your employee if you want him to stay in the company?"
Perfect
What he describes in this video is exactly how my marriage disintegrated. At the end she had absolutely no respect for me and I lost In a 1000 steps over many years
Relationships are highly overrated
People usually stay together in bad relationships because they are afraid of change
As it was said over 2000 years ago, "let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33).
Yeah I don't think God seen the century we live in. Holy shit
What do you mean?
@@darkvalue505 If you love your wife, you will respect her. If you respect your husband you will love him. But, if you only respect your wife that doesn't necessarily mean you will love her, and if you love your husband that doesn't necessarily mean you will respect him.
"let people read the bible when they're not trying to tell women how to live like a real christian would."
Book of Common Sense, Verse Youre Not Really a Christian
I would say to a woman that if you feel small complaints coming into your mind about a man, even though you're not voicing them, be careful. They will slip out in other ways, such as a sarcastic tone, looking away when he's speaking to you, getting into your phone and ignoring him, etc. It would be better to say "something is bothering me, can we talk about it?" and getting your issue out in a non-confrontational way before it "leaks" out as covert disrespect.
Can you please tell every woman in the entire world this?
Define disrespect.
Some men think if a woman denies accepting an “open relationship”, she’s being “disrespectful”.
If there is disrespect, you are not respected. Walk away and don't look back.
Yup before she was my ex she'd disrespect me by flirting with other guys in front of me. She said it wasn't flirting to her, just talking. It didn't bother me that she'd regularly text men from her work, never kept it a secret. Plus I didn't want to be that guy. In hindsight I should have told her at the get go that that was a deal breaker. Why? Because it's clearly the path to cheating. Not setting the boundary early was a big mistake. Hence why I asked her to leave. Only then did she want to fix things. But was too late as I saw enough, realized the person she is. From the streets you came. To the streets you shall return.
She belonged to the streets 😎👍
You can't stop women from cheating no matter what you do.
Microcheating is still cheating .
Off to the streets 🙏
Good advice as always. If the response to a man nipping female disrespect in the bud is an accusation that you are controlling, or full of male toxicity, you can safely say that she is beyond redemption and the man should walk away.
She makes all the big decisions without me and refuses to negotiate afterwards.
Yelling and verbal abuse
Name calling
Character assassination
Invalidates my feelings
It is PROFOUNDLY validating to hear this analogy coming from you after many years of saying the same words to my ex wife. I would always ask her why she feels such ease at disrespecting me so overtly when she wouldn't dare speak like that to her boss, while simultaneously claiming to love me. Obviously it didn't work and months of therapy later I found out I was dealing with a covert narc. Glad I found your channel. Subbed.
Women (modern) show respect to Men with authority and brass because they see themselves that way (think why the vows honor and obey are taken out) but I've been there. Now she's with the "love" of her life and he won't marry her and keeps her in check ✅ 😂
been there ... lived that.
If you have to ask, deep down, you already know. She's for the streets. It's not just that she was disrespecting you; it's the she is, as heart, the type of person who treats people, including you, with disrespect. She's literally a rotten human being. Avoid.
She wasn't a narc. You're just a beta male bro 🤣 . That shit doesn't fly with a guy that your ex wife is punching above her weight with.
I literally just said that to my wife. She is completely confused. She literally responded with "because you're my husband!". She's not a narc type, very normal, but totally flummoxed.
If there’s disrespect shown that’s an indicator of her true nature. It’s not that she disrespects you specifically, it’s that she is an inherently disrespectful person and now feels free to show her true nature. People like this are often “selectively” respectful, which means they will only appear to be courteous to those that they can get something from by keeping up that appearance, even if it’s just status or a position of influence. They will do this to keep people in their corner who will serve their purpose such as being a character reference in any business or legal dealings, or even just to feed their ego for social status. How a person treats others of lower social status is their true nature.
Moral of the story is: often you can see early signs of disrespect, even subtle ones near the beginning of any relationship. This is usually a precursor to much more of where that came from. Don’t waste a day more with anyone like that. If you are a decent and respectful person they don’t deserve you, and you deserve better. Cut them out of your life completely and move on. No second chances.
You're spot on. My ex constantly made passive gestures like rolling her eyes and talking under her breath, always wanting to argue and make me feel like a bad partner. Looking back I can see it was all manipulation, and very disrespectful. I'm glad I left, for my self worth. No man should tolerate disrespect.
Having a successful relationship is so complicated.
Keep up the good work! We need more Psychologists who have the backbone to call out women’s toxic behavior.
As a woman, I agree. There's a lot of toxicity out there that men fall for. It's great for this information to be provided for men to know what to look out for.
Had to leave my girl for that it got to the point where I wasn't even attracted to her physically anymore it's like she just wasn't attractive anymore 😕
I eventually stopped being attractive to my ex-wife because of the disrespect. I showed a co-worker one of her recent photos and she said she was very pretty. She was, and still is, but I can never be attracted to her again, all I associate her with is disrespect and lack of peace at home.
It does kill attraction
My mother is a very abusive (often in cunning, tricky ways that allows her to feel like she can get away with gaslighting - which is only MORE abuse) narcissist. This video reminds me of her and how she treats my dad and her kids.
So, in other words, your mother is a vvoman born after 1968.
Was gradually disrespected more and more. It was hard to bear, I don't know how to deal with it well. She left me now. Kind of relieved, but change is needed within to stop tolerating that behavior.
You are helping so many men who never got good advice from the so called men in they lives. Keep it going.
How about some more respect for the “so called men” you mention, who probably felt very much as you do. Work on yourself then on others…
@@mb7529 so you're infantilizing boomers
@@aeganratheesh you obviously have a negative preconception of boomers from that short, aggressive, semi rethorical question/statement. Stop blaming everything around you…get working on yourself instead. Boomers , Millenials, etc… all divisions to allow you to lazily not introspect on what you are not good at.
@@mb7529 you're the one getting aggressive now...for the second time lol...boomers are totally responsible for the societal collapse today
@@aeganratheesh what meeting was that decided at ? Send me a memo first.
As someone witness to a lot of disrespect between partners, it is a shared responsibility to educate your partner how to communicate with you in a way that makes for a harmonious long term relationship. I tell my partner: “that annoyed me, this is a better way to say it, you can continue using the annoying method, I deal with annoying people everyday, but then I will react to you like an annoying person, not as my loving wife’.
Do you have a partner or a wife? They’re not the same thing.
@@annesmith9181 both
trans?@@BadenHealth
Ive turned my back on, walksd away from, every woman who disrespected me. I've zero tolerance for being scolded... shamed.
I'm a good man. Just because I'm kind, does not mean I'm a pushover... I've self respect....
I've a gal now, always kind, generous...
😊if i sent a link to someone i thought could benefit from this and now i would have even more oppertunities to experience female disrespect.
The "oh so you think youre my boss" counter argument will not be dismissed so easily
You intelligently guided the viewer through all of the illogical dead end excuses and made them realize how their behavior isn't kosher.
Using the boss example reminds me how basically capitalism won by convincing laydays that making a meal to your parter is slavery, but staying overtime for your boss is legitimate, empowering and fulfills your purpose. Taking care of the boss who doesn't give a rat's ass about you is considered more worthy than taking care of your partner / family. Amazing 🧠🚿
That's feminism, but the core idea is right. Capitalism says nothing about making meals for husbands, but in fact feminism claims that pretty much any action expressing care for the husband is the woman doing "unpaid work" for the dude.
Taking care of her family
Most women do both though. They work and take care of their children.
Gut wrenching comment, sad.
PERFECTLY SAID
The problem with covert disrespect is it is always done in such a way as to ensure that they have deniability and they can lay blame to you for overreacting, but it could also be an innocent mistake…
That's why you don't address it overtly. You withdraw your attention a little.
I’m a men’s personal stylist and what Dic is saying here is what I’ve been preaching to my clients for years. He is 🎯
8:06 so great hearing this all articulated. i had this same intuition/realization, that women who tear down men/masculinity do so at their own peril, for they then have nothing to look up to. such women harm themselves.
just as one protects children from their own behaviour, what can be seen as a controlling mate may actually save a women from calamity.
So the only time I felt disrespected by my girlfriend. I just kept quite, she was going crazy wanting to fight with her I just kept silent. When she finally got tired of the silent treatment, she apologized for everything. I then told her exactly how I felt, she never stops bringing it up how terrible she was and almost lost me. I in return just told her if I didn't love you I would've left and that always makes her more appreciate me.
Orion, I have a dilemma when it comes to this stuff. I can always tell when a woman is disrespecting me as a test. The problem is, I lose all attraction for a woman when she does this, even when it’s done as a test. It’s like when somebody tells you what they’re really thinking, then they say that they were “just kidding”. You know they weren’t kidding so you immediately see that person as disingenuous. It’s the same way with women. I see pretty much every woman as a liar. How have you, personally, been able to get past these hang-ups when dealing with women?
Leaving a comment as I, too, am very interested in the answer, finding those little tests just as... condescending and distasteful.
Great point Ryan, unpleasant behaviors detract from the enjoyment one gets from spending time with them. Be great to hear others views on this
Ryan-Your reaction to this is like getting mad at a snake for eating a mouse. It is what they are in nature, it’s what they do. So take advantage of the knowledge.
It’s crucial to understand women don’t love men. They love how men make them feel.
This is literally a cheat code. Use it. Here’s another one you’ll never hear said - women have incredibly fragile egos. They can not handle rejection at all.
When the threat of non compliance is the absence of getting validation, they lose their minds.
Just be prepared to follow through on the punishment for non compliance. Walk away with indifference (don’t get into argument) and they will return and it will be like the horse that was broken in… you can ride it at your discretion then.
You call them out. You next them. A good woman will apologize and legitimately not do it again. If she doesn't stop the behavior, then why be with her?
@@ThorMaximus I don't think you read my comment. I don't engage with this kind of behavior. I said I don't deal with women who do this. In other words, I walk away from them. I can attest to you that I've never had a woman chase after me because I ignored her shit test. The overwhelming majority of women know that if you walk away from them, it means you're no longer interested. Most women have a buffet of men to choose from. If one walks away, she knows she can get another one. Besides, if she comes back all she's gonna say is, "I'm sorry", which is a lie. She's not sorry at all. She's just sorry she got caught, and she'll try it again in the future and you'll never be able to trust her because she's always got a trick up her sleeve. This is called being able to spot red flags and having dignity.
That bit about the boss is a great example
I'm honestly going to say so far as a gay man, based on the platonic relationships I've had with women(and tbh men aswell) and the platonic + intimate relations I've observed with others, I really think there is a limit to what you can "nip" in the bud when it comes to this. I really think someone who DISRESPECTS their partner/mate/friend is NOT attracted to the person in a POSITIVE sense but a NEGATIVE sense. Even in the beginning and long after they do not LIKE YOU they like FEELING SUPERIOR TO YOU because of some subconscious or unexplained resentment. They will EVENTUALLY try again once your reaction is no longer a source of fear for them. They will eventually wear you down or turn you into a deranged/depressed half-mad person. There is a VERY distinct difference between intentional disrespect/roasting or pushing a joke too far, I think people who do this are adept at MAKING SURE WHAT THEY DO IS DISRESPECTFUL while doing their best to mask it as "taking it too far", that is why they ALWAYS say it was a joke or try to downplay what they do. There is a DEEP well of insecurity within ANYONE who does this that is centered on themselves and if they DO IT REPEATEDLY YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE THEM!
You evaluate yourself and your behavior and see how and how much it is changing and affecting you and then make a decision on how you're going to address YOURSELF.
I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as love, love is loving and disrespect is not. If you're being disrespected you do not have love, your have someone who actively hates you and wants to see you in a worse position than you are. Do you want that in your life, for the rest of your life or even a day?
Underrated comment 💯
It is impossible to have a successful relationship in this era. People are not having relationships with each other; Rather, they are having relationships with smartphones that have people attached to them.
Exaaactly
Interesting
Women carry around "a box of dicks" in their pocket. First thing when meeting or checking out a new chick is to see her online social media profiles. If it's filled with pictures of her and comments from guys immediately disqualify her as anything more than pump and dump.
It’s like adopting an adult
It is impossible not because of smartphones but because women have made it an inevitable Lose-Lose situation with their pathetic behavior.
If a girl wasn't trained by her father through a healthy relationship on how to treat men they will be oblivious to their actions of disrespect.
the "issue" for you is when she's "trained" by her father... she will never respect someone who's less than him.
You all you took "trained" way too literally, think of it as "exposed" to a healthy attachment to a male figure. Yes, he and Disney movie have set the male standard for her.
@@YouilAushana I just hope you won't have kids, neither males nor females, with your current mental state (hopefully later, with some changes)... your own child is not your enemy and we shouldn't raise kids to be our own gender's victim. I hope you'll change your mind, may God help you.
@@YouilAushana i mean, they might have taken it literray, but its the internet, and we cannot really hear your tone and it's not likely we were in a conversation in which i can assume your view on things, xD
No. Women know exactly what they are doing. They are sh** testing you to verify their insecurity and chink into a weakness they did not like it to rip it open. She no longer feels safe and secure. It is very important to past those shit test and read up. Another outrageous ludicrous thing men have to learn that women do not have too and are unaware of as men live.
I wish I had known this before I married my ex. I am so happy that there are so many people giving these warnings now so that fewer young men fall into these traps like I did.
Awesomeness once again. Permeates my relationship with my wife. Hope if she watches she is capable enough to get past the man being boss issues she has demonstrated in the past. Thank you Orion
You always check disrespect immediately as it happens. It is your responsibility to set boundaries and respond accordingly when they cross them. Never let your emotions not allow you to walk away when they disrespect you. It is also funny how the modern woman says they will not submit to a man, but the submit to their boss.
Yep, and it's pretty depressing to watch them block you then go thermonuclear when you firmly but promptly and politely remind them of your boundary.
A boss pays money. Men submit to their boss too. Money make performing respect worth it
love is more valuable than money so is family@@lightyear3429
Subtle disrespect is so common that I no longer address it. Overt disrespect comes from either ugly women who know they have no chance with me, or women who are so extremely attractive they are accustomed to getting away with it.
I also notice how unattractive women tend to love to cock block their attractive friends. And not all of them, but some of those unattractive women do really love to try to get everyone's attention on them in a group setting. Like laughing extra loud at jokes as if she's trying to communicate, "Look, I'm here!"
@@onee Do what I did one time. Tell her ugg-mug friend "Hey you! Take a cute pic of me and your friend being cute, you can take basic photos right!?"
@@onee They call that one "the grenade" - one of the homies needs to jump on that to diffuse the situation and save the others
This is so true. Some women who clearly are into you find out you're not into her the same way she does 180 degrees and becomes super nasty.
On the other hand, if a man openly disrespects a woman, he can most assuredly wake up one day to her heart lost to him
Wow dude amazing. I had a bully bump into me once and I turned to him and looked into his eyes straight for a few seconds before he looked away and down. After that the stole 3 dudes money that were in my vecinity that I had no connection with. He did nothing to me, above all he offered himself to help me with something. So I did exactly what I should have, gave him a warning glance as you put it. So good to see theoretical information that makes sense in a practical way
It absolutely does get worse I allowed it and now my wife is completely disrespectful. I am working on her slowly by not allowing it anymore. Thank you Kevin samuels and others who have opened my eyes. As much as I don't want it to be I think my marriage might be over my wife left me a long time ago mentally. It's partly my fault but I look at my kids a realize I can't drop the hammer yet. Do yourself a favor and never get married It's pointless
Whew
You're not providing a good example to your kids by tolerating your wife's disrespect. At this point there is no 'working on her'.
if she is a wife then marrage is a thing but most woman are just woman or even worse girls in grown up bodies.
Being a wife has ameaning and it is way more then most people think nowadays
How do you not allow it?
More like, never get married to a disrespectful woman. I assure you we're not all like that.
I just dealt with this with my GF and she didn't even understand what I was saying until I left her.
Wow! What an eye and mind opener. What a sense of relief. What an idiot I've been all my life. I now understand to start all over again. With women, yes, but also with everyone. Thank you for this one and all the others you've made. Strength, man, keep them coming
This was really meaningful and useful information. Thank you. I've been disrespectful to men in and out of relationships, but this video helped me understand very clearly and in detail why that is unacceptable. I appreciate it! Great videos. Thanks so much.
We have to put our foot down and when we identify disrespect from our women. Regardless of the consequences.
Fucking A. Absolutely perfect my good sir. Just got out of a 6year long relationship. We were supposed to get engaged this month. I dint nip the disrespect initially and took a big step to adress it, the relationship came to an end. This gave me the closure i needed. Thankyou.
What fucking A?
How do you address it?
He only said don't take disrespect. He didn't explain what to do if she is doing it. How do you address it? Other than walking away...
Thank you for the great content, this is helping realize and cope with the fallout of my previous relationship. Covert disrespect was very prominent such as ignoring my requests to keep shoes off the bed, gum off the counters and many small things like that which NEVER got fixed. As you predicted this dynamic escalated to a level of disrespect where it was crossing to my family which patient as I can be was the red line that i could not maintain a relationship beyond...
I often think back on when things started going wrong and this video might be on point and I want to take responsibility for my failure to remedy this before it had gone beyond repair... And yes i do see it possible being fixable early but at the stage that it has gotten to absolutely impossible and hopefully that helps to move forward.
Please keep making your videos. It is so important that young men learn this early because most men don’t figure this out until there 30s-40s. If ever. Most women aren’t even aware of there own actions and once you start understand this you can maneuver through relationships and dating so much easier.
You are speaking 100% truth. I wish I knew this many years ago. I could have saved myself a lot from a lot of pain and wasted time.
My thoughts exactly
I endured copious amounts of disrespect over the years, because we had young children and I figured it just a 'loose tongue' and speaking before thinking (ie. I made excuses for her). I know better now and I'm not allowing to continue. She's away to see her family (maybe old boyfriend??) so I've got some time to reclaim my self-esteem.
A couple of days ago I decided to give my gf access to the colony I live in, meaning she doesn´t have to go through the security protocols at every checkpoint and can wander in whenever she likes. Since there is facial recognition software involved, I had to make an appointment for us to go through the capture process. I did it for a saturday 10am. Her reaction was "ughh, that means I´ll have to get up, shower and do myself up, that sucks".
That sat badly with me, so I went ahead and cancelled the appointment.
Clearly, sleeping in and lounging in pj´s is more important to her than having access to my space. So be it.
An old child is an ugly sight. Jordan peterson.
Well done
Is it a WS ranch?
My man lives off world.
wow nice commenting as I might not have responded similarly
I agree. I had a gf who lost respect for me and ended loathing me for things she wanted to do but says I allowed her to do, and said as much.
Yet my wife a self confessed man-eater who used to employ techniques for simps to give her stuff and $$$ gets called out and disciplined when she steps put of line. She still after 25 years gets the puppy eyes. Everytime she steps out of line she gets punished with the thing women hate, no attention. Fellas, learn to withhold attention. It is your number 1 control mechanism. And yes you have to control for a woman to respect you. If you aren't in control of you, the relationship, and to a degree her, she will never respect you.