What men DON'T UNDERSTAND about FEMALE SELECTION: what being high-value does and does not get you
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #men
Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire.
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
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Book a paid consultation:
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #men
You should pin this comment. Great video Orion.
Sorry Dr, from what u said then what's the point, I'm serious what's the point the juice really isn't worth the squeeze
Man you are all wrong. Women think about all this things when they are not sure if you are their type. It is all simple. When you meet a proper woman nothing is a problem
ok , this might be contradictory but hypergamy DOESNT exist..
what we call as hypergamy is something we allow women to pursue in todays society. think about the past any era in history, if a women goes after top guy, she can have his baby but he is not going to share resources unless courts make him, disguised as child welfare . its an artificial rule contrary to nature. think deeply. she becomes single mom and child has less life expectancy without father in past. she be abused too. its the risk she takes meanwhile regular men having no lineage at all. nature is balanced. its just BEHAVIOURAL ECONOMICS.
Running behind hypergamy may work for some dudes, but for the majority of normal men, it's not worth it. We must also consider how women's standards are getting more ridiculous every week while they offer little to nothing.
And men need to realize that walking away from someone who hasn’t selected you is the absolute BEST you can do for yourself.
I would say select or not select organically be a person ready to walk away.
Men need to realize that no one wants us.
Another issue is even if you are their best option they don't believe it. They're always one coworker or dm away from their soul mate.
Exactly the same applies to women.
Not just today but also tomorrow when she comes back knocking at your door after she was used and abused by her chosen one (S), don't accept sloppy seconds.
If you chase only butterflies, they will fly away but if you put effort in making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come flying by themselves, and even if they don't come, you'll still have a beautiful garden.
That's awesome!
And then you flamethrower the butterflies, because in a garden this majestic they are considered "pests"
True…. But butterflies 🦋 still eat your tomatoes and cabbage..,
Butterflies are beautiful and distracting 😂
@@ryanliteman6267 this still fits perfectly with the analogy
My 2 cents. Don't try to dive too deep into the pool of women's thoughts. Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving. Don't spend too much time, money, or energy trying to get or keep a woman.
Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving.
Brother, the best advice ever.
Gracias
Best answer!
Exatly, be okay with women making their decisions while you make your own. If they don't find you attractive coz you are ugly, fat, short, a race she doesn't like, broke or whatever other reason fair enough.
But you are also free to decide whether or not to approach them or spend any time with them.
Thats something an unmarried dude would say. Once u have kids ull change ur tune
@@stephencapellan2312 I'm married and I have kids (adult children). I've said as much to my sons.
NEEDING someone makes you weak and dependent, KNOWING yourself and making yourself your priority and living a life that is respectful of you and your purpose and goals makes you high value.
@@espada9 it makes you Human. Lying to yourself also makes you human.
Yes!
I'm 63 and chose to never marry. I'm well educated, over 6 feet tall, earned over six figues for decades and owned my own company. I can speak to anyone, anywhere at any time.
However, I spent 10-12 hours per day making deals, playing politics and resolving issues.
I was NOT willing to play the sort of games most women insist upon. It was not worth my time.
I did meet and date some fascinating women. I never married because living up to their expectations was exhausting.
I wanted someone I could build with, not for. I am NOT a human-shaped ATM and refused to play that part.
I've now retired and live alone on my boat.. now there's a happy ending for you.
Good job man.
@@Just_a_Lad Society end though
@@johngalt6838 who cares, you can't fix it, live your life.
Date whoever you want especially since you are established. Don’t take anyone seriously, but only to meet your wants.
Bro, head to the phillpines and date. Then come back home, and repeat. You'll have the best of both worlds.
Experienced divorce attorney here. If you are a young guy, focus like a laser on becoming the very best version of yourself. Do the things that bring you joy. Don’t pursue women. Attract them. Depending on your jurisdiction, do NOT get married without a valid prenup. Stay safe out there!
Im 63 and i constantly see attractive women with drunks, Criminals, men that have very little money. But they CONNECT. And are masters at TALKING. Forget the status myth. Makes too much sense that women want a nice guy thats going somewhere. Women will THINK the opposite. Its Emotion. Its Connection.
Thank you for the wise words sir.
@@michael-hw1uv I'm 59 and I don't see attractive women with drunks, criminals or poor men. Where do you live???
@@itzakehrenberg3449 Think he's talking about the men who are "bad boys" that the women go after. You really can't make a simple conclusion since women are all over the place in their preferences. It's a stupid game at the end of the day.
Prenup!
"Women don't care about your struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winners." - Bill Burr
And that is their Darwinian responsibility. They determine the future of the species by their mating choices.
@@reedschrichte800 If you think about it, men also do the same - men pick the female "winners" to determine the future of the species. I don't think a man will pick an unattractive woman with her promising that she will transform into a beautiful swan and stay by her side while she goes through the struggles to begin her "beauty" transformation through all the means available to her. Honestly most of what Dr. Orion says, if one just flips the script - a lot of his lessons he speaks about, also apply well for women to learn from and use to vet men too but of course it's going to be different.
@@stephanypistachio I appreciate your thoughtful response.
To me it's quite amazing that nature would allocate the responsibilities for reproduction so unequally! Men are involved, but women are committed.
Just look at the criteria on dating profiles. Men: she has looks above a certain aesthetic cutoff point, decent T&A, and we're good to go: Women: I've seen lists of literally 40 to 50 criteria.
Men are forced to restrict their choices because of resource limitations. A guy with the goods can collect literally hundreds of women: the Bible in Kings 11:3 says that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. How he had time and energy to run a kingdom is a mystery.
A Darwinian win is different for a man than for a woman. If a man mates with a superior female, his offspring are better than he: a win. If he mates with an inferior woman, the offspring are better than her. A win. If a woman mates with a superior male, her offspring are better than her: a win. Mating with an inferior male results in her raising offspring that are inferior to her, a Darwinian no-no.
I wish all the best for you and yours, and I welcome any counterpoints :-)
You're wrong. The difference is in what defines a woman as "a winner" and what defines a man as "a winner".
Men require substantially less from women than women require from men. So, to men, most women are winners.
To women, VERY few men are winners.
So sure. You're right. Ugly women probably have it the hardest, and successful men probably have it the easiest.
But average and above average women dominate the sexual market place as unassailed victors. They just *feel* like they're losing, because they can only get dick (not commitment) from the male 9s and 10s, but ALL the 4s, 5s, 6s, and 7s want them, still, even if they are just a 4-5.
@@reedschrichte800 I completely disagree with many of your points, coming from a woman. I have firsthand experienced the immense criteria men have for women. This topic requires a huge amount of empathy and ability to notice subconsious criteria that man have instilled in women for decades. Your point about how men only want "looks above a certain aesthetic cutoff point, decent T&A" is really untrue. Sure, your standards may be just that, but as a women I have seen firsthand the disgusting and objectifying ways men have talked about women. They put women into categories of whether or not they would date them. Of course, it might be hard for you to imagine such a world that men have created to put women down because they are not secure within themselves. And to an extent, I do agree with the fact that large criteria lists that women have made can be intimidating and unfair to men, and that is why every list I see are max 10 criteria and never 40 to 50 like you stated.
It might seem confusing why women have generally more criteria then men, but you fail to notice why. Because of the natural instinct of many men, they many times crave sexual desires more than relationships built on trust and value. You even showed this yourself! Notice how your generalized criteria for men is ALL based off superficials like looks and anything else that strengthens the mans sexual intent. When looking at womens criteria, notice how minimum 50% of the criteria is based off personality values such as the ability to make them laugh, trust, and being secure in your masculinity.
So, thats why you notice more criteria in women, because they add a personality section while men, (and you proved this yourself at the start of your argument), think with their genitals :)
So please dont get discouraged by women's criteria! Trust me, it really doesnt take much to be a good person! do this, and your halfway through the generalized criteria you so often get discouraged by.
Hope this helped! Im open to an argument
I never realized men had so many challenges dating women. This has been an eye opener.
Me neither. It's not a world I recognise.
From my experience there are two types of Hypergamy.
Looks Hypergamy
Financial Hypergamy.
Obviously a Woman would prefer a Man who has both Looks and Finances.
If you fit her financial Hypergamy but she doesn’t find you se*ually attractive, she will step out on you from time to time with someone who does, usually an ex boyfriend.
If you fit her looks Hypergamy but she doesn’t feel you could provide for a family or lifestyle, she will still give you se*ual access to her but she will not commit to you and she will look for someone who can take care of her financially. She will always keep contact with you if you stay looking good and will reach out from time to time to enjoy a good romp, but she won’t commit to you!
So the good looking guy wins because no strings attached sex.
Tbh the last deal does not need to be that bad. Basicly you are describing the chads, if I know she will not commit but will bang I can still do my own thing outside of her. Thats actually not a bad deal, the only one who is losing is the dude she is so called committing to. They are the only one who lose, sex is a reward from a males perspective.
I told this girl, why would I commit and date you for real when you gave it out for free? She did not know what to anwser. Dumped her after she gave other stupid anwsers and now she wants to meet up to talk lol.
Women dual mating strategy is (1) breaking rules for alpfas; and (2) making rules for betas. Being an alpha or a beta is your call cuz it's a mindset.
Genetics and provision.......
Pool boy satisfies her genetic hypergamy.....the millionaire who owns the pool satisfies her provision hypergamy. The pool boy is very temporary and she will likely cash out of the millionaire eventually.
Like Aaron Clarey keeps saying: "Most woman generally don't like most men."
So if you're working from that supposition, everything that's been happening in the last twenty years starts to make sense.
s/o cappy. that guy is a legend. as he says, "do not get married".
The reverse is also true tho.
If it wasn't for sex (and in some cases for parenthood), most men would not see a reason to EVER interact with women.
I like him but overall he's a nihilist. Watch him sparingly if you want to keep a positive attitude towards life.
A lot of the men that find women "confusing" or "impossible to understand" are typically unwilling to accept certain realities about women. If you're fed false axioms and suppositions about women all your life, of course women would seem confusing or impossible to understand when little of their behavior actually logically follows from those axioms. It's only when you accept things about women -- things that a lot of guys don't want to accept -- that women start making more sense and are no more "complicated" than men.
W0men are now *independent.* As in, they don't *need* a man to survive. They work and can survive on their own. So .. what does a man bring to *their* table? Sex. So, w0men are *only* interested in men they (sexually) *want.*
I'll share my story about hypergamy. I've grown disgusted because of it due to women hiding their existing relationship. Women will walk up, talk until they like me, and then start flirting with me. When I show I am not interested and they finally take the hint, I will then hear them talking with another women about their existing boyfriend. Apparently deception and Infidelity, as I see it, are perfectly acceptable to certain women as long as they benefit.
I believe once you the see the true nature of what women are capable of, you can never go back. I’ve been with both married women and women in LTRs. If her needs aren’t met, she’ll meet up with a dude on the side and the boyfriend/husband will never find out.
Brutal.
I've never met a truly "single" woman in my adult life. He might not give her a title but someone is *filling a void* in her life. Just understand it's all in the game and it's in their nature to monkey branch. It's written in their firmware.
Ive met a few man from the top of the food chain and them are disgusted and dont trust MOST OF THE FEMALES they met. And those guys used to fuck many. But the more their in the game, the more they disgust.
Briffault’s law
you will always find out, sometimes sooner sometimes later.
You can clearly see the hints when they change behaviour and the fact that we are living in a world where every human is on the phone all the time its hard to hide. If they have to hide something from you on their phone you will clearly notice
I agree with this.
Probably the most important thing about attracting women is masculinity, making them feel comfortable with you to the point where they’re sharing personal information and freely touching you. Confidence that’s casual… banter/humor and flirting.
But, the bottom line in order to get them to fall in love quickly, is you have to be able to give them a penetration orgasm by understanding how and what puts them over the edge during the act. That oxytocin rules their minds on burning desire.
In order to get to that, you have to make them feel safe on a lot of levels… freedom from judgement, humor, sharing your thoughts and experiences while also listening to them… eye contact, and innuendo-flirting.
Your money, job and cars won’t get you any burning desire… just opportunity.
@@semperoccultus1969 dis nigga spittin
Thank you.
I am a retired man who was never married, lived with a woman, or had any children. I am not rich; however, I live comfortably on my own terms. I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap! I will emphasize to all the younger men that whatever you can provide will NEVER BE ENOUGH - make the right choices!
Even though I'm in my mid 30s I'm heading your way, I just don't need the drama and the stress. Planning to buy myself a house near the sea this year and live my life there.
" I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap!" unfortunatelly we ALL are involved for example by taxes (they want more and more so they can even push a law working with simps to rob others and give it to them (females). calculate whos paying taxes and who is taking most benefits from those taxes and filter it by gender
its like black and white
they are better in manipulation so they manipulate system into benefiting them robbery
As an experienced divorce attorney who handles high asset divorces, you are correct. Whatever you can provide to most women will never be enough. I have seen cases where multi millionaire entrepreneurs give the wife an incredible lifestyle, but she is “not happy” and files for a no fault divorce. There are a few exceptions but they are rare.
This isn't a good position. You've really lived for nothing. This is the dead end way.
Absolutely.
My man speaks FACTS!! Blessed to come across this channel... Huge LOVE & RESPECT from India. ❤️🇮🇳❤️
Even if you become a high value man, the juice is not worth the squeeze. One of the most uncomfortable things to accept is that women are not worth it, even if you are attractive. Put yourself first fellas, let go of the idea of some dream woman who you need.
You are absolutely right
Well what if that woman gave you a son? Would that be worth it? She has to do some squeesing to!
👶
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
@@sigurdopheim3626
Then she'll want child support.
Dig that saying ay
As someone who sucked with women in my 20s but still worked on my body and career, now that I'm in my 30s and get lots of attention from women i refuse to settle down because i worked my a$$ off to get where i am now just so a women who wouldn't look my way in my 20s can benefit from me, fk that, i tell young men all the time to work on themselves and not focus on women at all
why not get over that resentment and enjoy the spoils of your success?
If they weren't ride or die chicks during your grind, then they don't deserve you during your prime.
@@stevejhkhfda he is, by not settling.
any tips for a 27 old man ?
Is 27 old?
Glad you did this video. My own experience: I don't check all the boxes that women are supposed to want. I was in school at place where men outnumbered women 7:1. To say it was competitive was an understatement. It took a couple years to learn what to do. It never felt easy though it got better. Mainly knowing how to show enough interest to get s woman's attention without showing too much and scaring her off, and probably more importantly letting things develop say s peace that let the woman think it was her idea. Learning how to recognize when there was sexual tension building. I was also close friends and confident of a lot of women. I don't know being in the friend zone was a bad thing. Those relationships gave me some insight into how women think. Then l graduated, making a fair amount of money. I remember thinking l liked the women l was with when l was a broke student more than the women i attracted when l showed up with the BMW.
Even more decades later women are still a mystery. But things like this video do a lot explain the behavior i encountered.
I think the most important thing is to realize, it's like a game, and women want you but they can find a thousand different reasons to run away. Like hunting or fishing you have to be patient but know when it's time to act, and always persistent .
Talk to stranger females and ask them direct questions to dispel "the mystery" of being a woman. Men could understand, if they made an effort to find out. Women you don't know are a better place to start - because they are bamboozled to. Life is not working out how feminism said it would, despite legal changes.
4:46 Dr. Orion you said "Hypergamy primarily benefits men."
Hypergamy primarily benefits THE 10% of men that reach that level.
Current hypergamy is devastating to the western society.
Good productive members of society men can not get good faithful wives and start and maintain families.
Women by their own choice prefer to be 304s and part of a harem of a 10% man (that can be a bad role model/criminal)
And we have many children brought up by single mothers (by choice!) and we know the statistics of how that is going.
I'll help you think. If you want to lift 200lbs. Your first day in the gym you find that you cannot lift that much. So, you set out to improve yourself. This is called self-improvement. So to overcome the barrier of hypergamy, men are motivated to improve themselves. Which benefits the man when he works to improve himself. Hpergamy benefits ALL men who try.
The prevalence of delusion of high self worth in western women (aka im 10, everyone beautiful), causes hypergamy to be devastating. Up to 1960s women instinctively knew whom can they get to force to commit in case of pregnancy - that was grounding the hypergamy. Now their hypergamy thanks to the birth control extends to the very top, way past upper tier of men the woman can get to commit.
@@peaceonearth8693 I get the general idea you are trying to tell but it is NOT 100% correct.
A lot of men that try develop mental illness.
Some want to take shortcuts (steroids for body or aggressive trading/crypto/gambling for the money part)
All these things can lead to catastrophic results.
Men are doing plastic surgery.
So current hypergamy does NOT benefit everyone that tries.
Women have always been hypergamous even in the “good ol’ days” but within reason.
That is why I am using the term “current” hypergamy.
It is out of control!
They side chicks
Some of those good productive men who can’t get wives or let alone sex…have a potential for turning violent for not getting their sexual needs met…and that’s a huge problem for society, young men that have nothing to lose and feeling disrespected by society…not a good look
100% of men can't become the top 10% of men. The math ain't mathing
What women say they want, what women want and what they respond to are completely different things. They say they want a guy in touch with emotion but as soon as we show it, they naturally see us as weak. Stick to your guns gentlemen. Be yourself, if she doesn't like you, she's not the one
This isn't a woman thing, it's a people thing.
@@lumiere3619 no. It’s a vvoman thing.
i dont know how u people find it okey to group women like they all say the same thing and thing the same things
@@musashi542 - Because it’s easier than naming the seven or eight exceptions every single time.
It’s funny to me how We can sit down and watch a National Geographic documentary on the lifestyle or mating habits of the African elephant, the orangutan, or the meerkat, and say to ourselves, “see how they act? That’s very interesting…. We might even watch a special on the Pygmies in The jungles of South America and discuss what we’ve learned about them at the water cooler the next morning..
But as soon as we share observations about Western vvomen, we get some nut that stands up and says NAWALT! Well guess what … AWALT!
Perhaps instead of avoiding accountability in today’s society, vvomen should conduct them selves like adults, observe their behavior patterns and perhaps take some steps toward self improvement now and again. Men, Orcas and many other species do it all of the time. Why can’t vvomen? Why is their first line of defense, “NAWALT” or “Men do it too!”? 🤦♂️
PS. Now you know why those “u people” that you grouped together - do it. ;)
@@tamuman93 so we can group all men as ra**sts, wife beaters... and its alright according to you ?
I was at a mixer with people I worked with and people I didn't know(ya know, a mixer😅). There was an ok looking woman that I approached and she crossed her arms and literally STOMPED at me like I was a stray dog. Then, 4 female coworkers formed a semi circle and said hi and gave me a hug. They left after a short chat. The first stompy woman's body language opened up and she looked like she was open to talking to me. I just looked at her, nodded, turned around and walked away. It was rather rewarding.
The problem I have with accepting "grind to be top 10% men" idea is that if it's not sustainable for the majority of the society, then I can't treat it as if it were. That's why I think I'd rather forego the grind than do that, or meet a woman with low hypergamous drive - they do exist, but ironically obviously they're not to be found where hypergamous women do gather (clubs, dating apps, etc...) and they mostly check out of the dating game early.
It just feels ridiculous to me because only 10% can be top 10%. Therefore, the strategy is not viable for the society. I can hear "why care about the society, just be top 10%", but that's just not gonna work coz it's gonna result in say 30% of men trying to be 10%. It's gonna keep making people unhappy, both men and women 😊
Counterpoint, women are goofy. That "top %10" is totally contextual. They really have no clue what they want most of the time. Just be the best version of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck bro 👍
Yeah people have no basic logic
This is where the slightly autistic male brain reaches it's limits. Attraction is not a math equation. Women aren't comparing stats (they're also not comparing bank accounts; at least the sane ones are not.)
Women want security, so they compare you're ability to provide security to that of the next man. Just as you are comfortable dating a "pretty enough" woman. A woman is comfortable (and content) dating a "secure enough" man. You don't have to be in the top10%, no matter how many gold digger horror stories you've heard. But 10% is a good goal to strive for nonetheless. Just don't get obsessed. Again, this is like a woman obsessed with looking like an instagram model, because she thinks this is the only way for her man to stay loyal. Then you have women just giving up on looking decent at all, because "they don't want to compete"....
Don't fall victim to this deluded mindset. Compete, but don't obsess. Life is balance.
Good luck
@@rocstarang5747 right look the tinder swindler....
Non hypergamous women = unattractive. That's the trade-off. No thank you.
Starting a relationship with a good woman is extremely difficult, but once a foundation has been built, it's more about consistency and doesn't require the extreme expectations that many insinuate from talks like this. A good woman will make your life much better, the problem is, like there are only so many men in the top 10%, there are only so many good women and they're almost always taken by their late 20s, usually earlier.
It's a human problem, not strictly a female problem. This is where stoicism is so useful. Control what you can, be self-aware and improve what you reasonably can, and put yourself in places where you could meet someone. But know you can do everything right and never meet someone worth spending your life with. That's all a man can do. You have a high chance of dying alone and childless, so do something fulfilling with your time, doing that thing is also what gives your a greater shot at attracting a good woman.
The thing is,if you're a top 20%er then women are much more tolerant of your inconsistencies. It is impossible to be consistent all the time. When women hit the wall, it's why they become so tolerant and keep themselves around even through troubling times. They don't have much for options. But when you're just above average and you slip up in any aspect, the clock starts ticking rapidly and everyone else starts looking like a better option to them than you.
Saying that it's extremely difficult is still selling it short. You literally have less than 1 in a 1000 chance for that to happen and that's if you're pretty high up on the men list yourself. If not...just forget it.
@@HenrySomeone In spite of the way cokebottles frames his argument (which I found very persuasive), you do not end up with one chance at this. There are uncountable variables at work every single day, and each reasonable instance is a new chance.
The purpose of meeting a woman's hypergamous criteria is you have more choice in who you date, that's it. It doesn't mean you are guaranteed a girlfriend or that you can't get a girlfriend without those things. You can. It just dramatically improves your odds.
But more importantly it makes your life better as a man, which should be the ultimate goal here.
But does it make you happy? Essentially, you are grinding to meet someone's criteria, but do they meet yours? Things will change when men actively start playing hypergamy game as well.
@@00_UU there was a time in human history that this was happening for thousands of years. Be careful what you wish.
@@GeotouuotoeG be careful because? How is this bad for men?
@@00_UU because of patriarchy men did what they wanted so women were oppressed. Now it is men who feel a form of oppression which is also partly because men dominated the past. Tomorrow it will be men again then women to a never ending circle. Balance is a utopia. People are idiotic and shellfish organisms.
As someone who went from being puny and broke to muscular with a 6 figure income, I can attest to this. It’s an admittance ticket. I have a right to play but no guarantee to win.
8:13 The only “easy” women are the low value, problematic borderline/bipolar ones with daddy issues - or those needy/insecure/immature ones. Not worth it.
Worth it for a quick slam n scram.
False, if you are high value or position yourself as high value, some genuinely good women become "easy." They'll do things with you they wouldn't do with lesser men.
Another thing to note about women’s sexual selection is that they select men that are relatively high value, as in, they pick the best men available to them at that time. If you get a room with ten women and ten men, nine of whom are trash and one man is average, those ten women will look at the average guy like he’s a Greek god. Conversely, change those ten men to where nine of them are exceptional men, and the other man is slightly better than the rest by 1 percent and he will be looked at as a Greek god, while the other men will literally be treated the same by women as below average men would. This is why I balk at this movement in the Manosphere to push for all men to get better because it doesn’t change the rules, it just makes it harder for men to compete.
Optimization algorithms: women.
I agree. I have said before you can be a "contextual alpha" based on your environment. I've always been a catch but there are friends I never go out with to talk to girls for example, because I know I can't compete lol! A man must know his limitations 😁
Finally someone who got the root of the problem.
Its impossible for everybody to be top 10%, because it is a position that by deafult, excludes 90%
@@rocstarang5747 You've said this before to whom? who are you and why are you quoting YOURSELF to a bunch of strangers? Have you written a book, or have a podcast or some level of competency above us? or are you an average dude too? LMAO ( if I have told men once, i have told them a thousand times, but they just wont listen! ha ha ha)
@@kimilsungthefirst6840 I am willing to 'sacrifice' my share of the women to those Nigerian princes! Have at 'em, boys!
Single women at 20: "Don’t talk to me!”
Single women at 30: “Somebody please talk to me!”
Single women at 40: “Hey! I’m talking to you!”
Single women at 50: “Here Kitty, Kitty.”
Classic!
XD
Wow your mother failed you. I'm so sorry.
@@chicbateI'm sorry the truth hurts honey.
a bunch of socially awkward men who whine like little boys doesn't hurt me sweetie @@caliburxzero
This was a phenomenal video. Very thorough and pragmatic breakdown with real life examples. Keep doing what you’re doing, how you’re doing it. Great watch 👍🏾
57, never married, never cared. I like what I do, I have friends, I live as I please. I figured I'd let my friends get married first, and see how it turned out for them. Almost to a one, the marriages disintegrated, leaving broken families, asymmetrical parental influence, etc. Live for your own interests, and if someone wants to join you on part of your journey, great. Stay true to your path.
The only thing worse than someone criticizing how you spend your time or money - is actually caring what they think.
True that
We are lacking something.
Well in fact, someone. We-need-Jesus
My way of dating is to not be disappointed in a woman who shows her true self and i dont like it. Being honest and sometimes brutality honest while also trying to be successful and she'll either stand by you and support you or she'll get tired of you in the first month. Honesty is the best filter
Rightly said. That is the original purpose of dating, to see if there is compatibility for a long-term relationship. If it isn't going to work out at least you know early on.
Exactly. It’s a false dichotomy to say it’s blackpill or bluepill. You can be honest and focus exclusively on improving what you can control.
Its all about pure, raw, phyisical attraction when it comes to hooking up with women. Period. I'm a former Chippendales dancer, so i saw this unfold, in real time, every single show. A lot of women were willing to throw away their relationship for one night with us. And they were the ring leaders in the debauchery. Not saying we were angels either, dont get me wrong. But there were many instances where we've had to stop it from happening. But that being said, this is an EXTREME case that less than 1% of men will ever experience.
Raw physical attraction gets you access but doesn't necessarily keep them around. Women are just as happy as men are to use a person as a sex object and throw them away once they get bored.
That said, I've had an alarming number of married women and women in relationships try to sleep with me. It makes me so sad for the men in their lives that I eventually developed a policy that I no longer sleep with women in relationships. I know how it makes that man feel and also I couldn't risk eventually taking some crazy guy's girl and having my house lit on fire.
@Joseph-C Yeah the women at these shows were freaking nuts. And every single time, there were multiple different women that were ready and willing to hook up. Anywhere. It Didn't matter if they were married, engaged, had a boyfriend, young, old, or their race. They all acted the same.
@@handsomeX Based on your photograph and name, I really believe you. No judgement.
@@handsomeX However, you must factor in countries that aren't as developed as Western countries. In my country we were once ranked as "The most beautiful people in the world". But due to our economics, women value security faaaaar more than the exterior of the man
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju and that's how it should be - security, reliability and trust. Comfortable Western life decayed all of those words in modern relationships. Bad relationship decisions of w3men are encouraged, while men are constantly portrayed as evil and st00pid on TV.
As an average looking guy who has had periods of doing quite well with women in a western country, here’s what stood out about Orion’s message here: you need to have something about you that makes girls feel comfortable in your presence if you want them to consider sex. If you meet the attraction floor (which varies among different women), then your next step is to make them feel comfortable enough to let you inside their bodies. That’s not easily done. You need to make them feel relaxed, like they’re having fun, that you’re not gonna judge them, that you’re gentle, etc etc.
After being an incel until age 19, to having a year of a new girl every month at about 25, I was amazed at how once you kinda develop a formula for seducing women that you start to feel like you can’t miss.
Finally, you also gotta have the mindset that while I hope to have sex with this woman, even if we don’t, I don’t care and I’m gonna just enjoy meeting this new person and getting to know them. The good thing is that if you’re already hitting some ass, then you genuinely won’t care if you don’t f*ck the girl presently in front of you, which means you don’t have that awks desperation about you and that in turn makes them more comfortable, etc etc.
As a woman I think you hit the nail on the head. In fact - when a guy has a vibe where he’s not pushy for sex and we can’t tell if he even wants to sleep with us - it actually raises our interest.
You identify yet another reason why interest from some women leads to heightened and broader interest in other women. Not only do the others see that you are someone worth competing for, and who has already been vetted by another woman, but you also don't have that stink of desperation.
Too much work for so little reward
This video is like a winning lottery ticket and/or almost every sentence of it hits like a lightning bolt! Seriously, it's so accurate and useful that it should be made mandatory in schools wherever possible!!!! THIS _is_ the real deal ‘bout gender senzitization/awareness. Thank you very much and congratulations!
😂
In my opinion this is a blue pill video. Most men can't get to the top 5-10% club in women's term. You will be usually either too ugly or too short. It's now mostly about looks. Hypergamy don't benefit men. It's only benefiting the very top percentage of men. And that top percentage base only on women definition. You can be top 1% by men's definition, and they still prefer to date broken model, or handsome tall drug diller. Avoid being best version of yourself just to attract woman. This is usually genetic contest. Nothing about your passions, hobbies, intelligence or spirit.
The problem with aiming to be a "high-value man" through the eyes of women is that some characteristics considered attractive have little to no benefit to your life.
Take physical exercise as an example. If you are a short and skinny looking guy, this might serve you well when running marathons, if that's what you're into. However, most women would never consider you to be at the top of the attraction pyramid. You should do an activity that you enjoy and to promote a healthy life style, but if you let hypergamy guide your motivation, you may end up doing activities you hate for a superficial reason.
health, status, wealth, fitness are all good things for men....outside of it's alignment with attraction of females.
The point is, most things that are attractive to women are also beneficial from an objective pov. Exercising, being social, dressing well, making money will all improve your life. Almost all kinds of physical exercise are better than no exercise at all. Of course if you're ectomorphic/skinny, you should focus on lifting weights. You can learn to enjoy the stress of weightlifting. I'm speaking from experience. Once you learn to enjoy the discomfort, you've unlocked a new level in life.
The shorter you are, the worse you are at running. Also marathon runners are not ‘skinny’, they’re slim. They have plenty more muscle than the average person.
@@Shuflin I used skinny to refer to looks. And no, long distance runners tend to be shorter. Great marathon runners over the magical 6 feet tall (the bare minimum for many ladies) are rare.
@@okaySam If you take those aspects in a broader sense, yes, they may be beneficial to you. However, women operate like Procrustes. And their standards tend to go up with time.
Exercising is only attractive if it leads to a certain body type. Dressing well to impress women may be totally unnecessary for the man's professional life and requires some time and money. Making money is not what women really seek; it's men manking surplus money to spend on them.
A man can live a satisfying and healthy life while being unnatractive to the average overweight single mother. Turning into a Ken doll may make some men happier, but it is not the ultimate path all shall follow. Women's maladaptive attraction be damned.
yea struggle, work your ass off 20 years to build up a career, high salary, get jacked, become the top 10%.. only to get something she has been handing over for free to clowns each night..
And she will divorce you.....at that point you just have enough money to survive it.
this right here….😭😭😭😭
Are you angry with her, or the clowns?
I'm thankful for you bro, you have no idea how much we needed to hear this.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s was thinking that money would equate to more women. I hit 6 figures and tried to use my career to bolster my self esteem. High value men must hit all check boxes, warrior , king, magician and lover. I’m his takes time, countless failures and patience. This is why younger women tend to be attracted to older men, they have done the work
Max 5 to 10 years older. Beyond that, no.
@@Nordic_Sky No. I am 46, I had a 27 year old offer herself for a long term relationship months ago. It all depends on the man and his success.
Good on you. It can happen, but if she's hot and in demand, very rare. @@ClarkeIllmatical
@@ClarkeIllmatical How much of that was genuine attraction and how much was gold digging though? I've really almost never seen the former stretch much past a 10 year difference, no matter how good looking the guy was.
@@HenrySomeone It's the guy, really. Also, you'll learn that MOST women are gold diggers to a degree. Your mother, my mother, the man provided and the woman provided her body.
A woman's biggest fear is most men going overseas to find women. They get SOOO offended, it's actually insane. Like, let people live their lives, why get so triggered over dudes you never wanted to begin with going overseas and meeting people that are actually interested in them (or their money).
Because that takes their power away from them
@@georgemartyn5268Yup. Even if they did not like/want you at first, they LOVE the attention&validation they get from men.
If that waters down because men choose their future lifepartner abroad, they get offended..
Most women EXPECT there to be a whole store of boyfriend simps waiting for them to turn 30 for when they finally need to settle down.
If all of those rich beta "boyfriend material" guys go overseas, they lose their 30+ marry-then-divorce meal tickets and they know it. Which is what they're afraid of. The anger is just fear.
And I would strongly encourage men to go that route - get your passport and head overseas. Be careful about co-habitation and don't get married - it's not worth the risk and there's honestly nothing of value in it for a guy.
You're delusional. You been listening to those fake passport bros and the manosphere. Western women are glad you all are going overseas with your fantastic expectations. Foreign men are looking for tricks like you to take care of their poor daughters who they no longer want to take care of. You will never acquire the love of high value women overseas.
It definitely sounds like a lose lose for men. My personal experience doesn’t feel as bleak, even as an obese man but I only proximity dated so my conversation always helped with a subset that really enjoy that trait over others.
I wouldn’t try to date today if my life depended on it. Because I have felt a shift towards misandry in casual interactions. I’m not friendly to people who assume the worst in me constantly. Easier for me to walk away than be demonized.
long relationships tend to be lose-lose for men. if it doesn't work out you could end up losing your money, house and kids in divorce. if it does work out, she will end up moaning, complaining, causing drama and chaos, and you lose access to other women. the juice isn't worth the squeeze, gentlemen.
I crave sex too much to ever stop dating, but I've also picked up on the shift you talk about. I've slept with ten women in the past year and only three of them did not hold what could politely be called questionable attitudes towards men. The rest were flagrant or closeted misandrists who viewed men like Christian fundamentalists view humans: tainted by Original Sin.
I feel sorry for the young men growing up in this world. I remember what it was like to date in the early 2000s. Men were not judged for being men and women did not approach them with a mixture of contempt, hypocrisy and greed.
One of the woman I slept with earlier in the year came to my city on holiday from abroad. She was clearly in a relationship - writing lightning fast texts to her partner when I was paying for drinks or going to the toilet. She expected me to pay for everything even though she proudly told me how much she earns - about 50% more than me. I footed the bill because I knew she'd put out, which she did, but she stopped me in the act because she realised she was making a mistake and high-tailed it out of my place soon after.
I laughed my ass off at that. Just imagine how deluded and disingenuous you have to be to do all of those things and STILL present yourself as a victim. This woman worked for one of the world's largest banks, was privately educated from a young age, and had a celebrity dentist for a father (clients including Hollywood actors).
@@davesmith826 thanks for sharing bro, you wrote with experience and wisdom, most of the guys share only to flex about how many women they get
So you basically treated a woman in a relationship like a prostitute, plying her with drink to get her to drop 'em, then think its her attitude problem when she comes to her senses in time before you can spray her with whatever you've picked up by having ten throwaway liasons per year?
@@cisvaughan6937 I didn't 'treat' her to anything. She came to me looking for sex, not the other way around, and she did so by setting up a temporary profile on a dating app. She lined a date up with me within a *day* of arriving in my city and she was only here for a week. I'd love to hear your justification for that lapse of judgement. As for alcohol, I didn't 'ply' her with anything - I actually suggested a meal - but she wanted drinks instead, so I went along. Nor did I 'spray' her with anything as I practise safe sex - the only spraying would have been on and into latex, had it come to that.
Have you got any more cliches up your sleeve? Your attempt to paint me as the problem in this situation is really very amusing. It's *precisely* what I meant about original sin - men are always the problem, even when they clearly are not.
I’ve just chain watched 4 of ur vids, this is such a wealth of info and as you stated, young guys like myself get insight into female psychology that only the Casanovas of the past would have had. Thank you for your content. Keep posting you earned a sub with the first vid i watched!
I'm past 60 and agree 100% with Orion's analysis ... having learned much of it through a long, painful process of mistakes. I am one of those men who is happy without a Western woman in his life. I have children, survived divorces and am self-sufficient in a comfortable retirement. What I don't need in my life is a Western woman. The sum total of everything she could possibly bring to the table, even the fantasy stuff that will never happen, does not even begin to tip the scales in her favor from what I currently have. It is my belief that Western women have made themselves so unpleasant and difficult to be with that more and more men will check out of relationships to pursue solitary activities that are now more attractive.
Good..... Mexican, Chinese, Arab, Indian, Nigerian, Brazilian, Filipino, etc etc men are glad to have you OUT of their way.
I completely agree. Woman are a horror show. The juice is not worth the squeeze. God help all men.
@@markminister2599 It's mass cultural narcissism, I tell ya. All the characteristics are there: deflection, projection, gaslighting, no accountability, denial, reversing victim/offender role, guilting, triangulation, pity play, imperative thinking, threats ... and more.
Interestingly enough, there is a similar cohort of Western women who feel exactly the same way about Western men.
I'm a rather young guy, I'm currently in the process of going from a low status minimum wage job to a high status job in a different sector. From previous experience and jumps up and down the status ladder, I already knew that the worlds that we live in are quite different, but I am still shocked about how different I am treated. In a low status job, my existence would hardly be recognized, and sometimes people wouldn't believe what I said was true. No woman would be willing sexualize me, not even remotely. When your status rises, it is almost as if you are reborn, and people suddenly recognize your existence. People look and smile at you before you even said a word. A nice feeling, but I can't help but get extremely saddened by how I and other people, who were ambitious and capable people the whole time, just lacking status, never got the chance to have a try...
It will make you start believing in astrology. No, not the elle magazine type astrology. Real astrology. Your status change comes with a change in other aspects of your life that make you more desirable, they are shallow creatures, so all of the types of things that being shallow comes with, you are able to acquire those things once you reach a better position in your career.
Same. I work hard, really hard, as a dish washer. Women treated me always like crap. They would yell at me, call me ugly and insult me.
And of course the new attention you get is absolutely worthless, because nobody wants to be liked for a few things that they've recently done. People want to be loved for who they are. Chasing status is completely and absolutely pointless apart from the resources it brings. It cannot make you feel any more seen as a person. The only way to do that is to force yourself on others
I told my son to look carefully at the mother of whatever girl he is dating. She WILL end up just like her in the long run. Crazy mother, crazy daughter. He has realized how true that is
Most of the time that will work and it's good advice. I've had women who are crazy but they have great moms.
@@spacewalktraveller1yeah no one bit of advice is going to be flawless 100% of the time exceptions will always occur but in general I think he is pretty much right aswell on average if the mother of a woman is a complete narcissist manipulating scum then it’s safe to assume the daughter is a hyperbole red flag
You are talking facts, sir. Highly respect what you are saying. I am 21 and trying to understand women.
Talk to your mom. She's a woman.
No need to understand women dude not a rocket science don't do Phd😂😂😂😂😂
Yes. I’ve said this before on other “manosphere” related videos. The high value men that I know, dudes who have money, looks, character perhaps, are not swimming in a sea of female sexual options. They’re either married or hang out at strip clubs and bars a lot. The guys i know who get the most women, are not exactly getting hot women very often. And those guys aren’t what I’d consider “financially stable “ either. They’re kind of mirror a lot of train wreck women I’ve encountered. Lots of debt, emotionally unstable, jobs where the stress and wages don’t line up, always seeking escape, etc. Kinda funny how it all comes full circle
Agreed - like attracts like. And the "high value" men still have to meet someone who is compatible with them.
there is no such thing as a "high value man". just ask bill gates, jeff bezos, elon musk, brad pitt, johnny depp, tom brady, dr dre, kanye west, tyrese, etc etc and all the other divorced millionaires. babies and child support and wedding rings are high value, not the man.
You sound like hater bro. Mad those chads got some and you didn't and now you want to get sanctimonious about it
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Nailed it!
Yeah, in real life most players just munch on the low hanging fruit. Most guys who are naturally good with women marry young.
As a professional musician I pull them easily, even now in my 50s. I have learned to keep it brief and move on. When they discover what a sweetheart I actually am, not an aloof rock god, their attraction usually dies.
hmmm, that might be the case that they are just shitty humans
Loving the archetype....not you.
A sweetheart who uses language like 'pull them easily'....not exactly my definition of a sweetheart
@ninamartin1084 I don't care what you think. You're a random ignorant person on RUclips. You exist in near-infinite abundance.
I love how you get your message across, clean and to the point without controversy.
Great advice! I would also say that the hypergamy isn't something absolute. I know men who make very little money, aren't very good looking, and have absolutely stunningly beautiful wives, just because he ACTS like a successful man. He's confident, funny, considerate, decisive, well spoken, respectable and respected, honest, and so forth. These are things almost all men at almost all rungs of society can learn. And if she falls in love with that, the relationship is way more durable than if it was just based on status/looks/money.
The things that make you more attractive to women are usually the same things that make you a better more capable man in general.
exactly so. truth. all these whingers don't deserve the time and energy. they're probably looking for a replacement for their mothers but one that can get them laid either. pathetic. 90% of men are just pathetic.
So, not only do you have to squeeze the juice yourself, you then have to pay $30 for the glass, pass a background check, and a written exam? I think I'll just have some water.
It can be very disheartening receiving this information for men. It kind of reminds me of the quote "Men today have to work 5 times harder than their grandfather had to, for a women that is 20 times worse than his grandmother."
So men are pretty much competing for a modern women who is getting worse with time. Sounds like a raw deal to me.
Our closest genetic relatives the chimpanzees with whom we share 99% of our DNA have a system whereby males compete for sexual access to females. It's a winner take all strategy, devised by mother nature. And it has resulted (several million years on) in humans. Human culture has devised ways to minimize this effect but this tendency is still very strong within us and emerges in certain situations eg. when men have a need to prove status, they don't do it by open physical conflict but by having the most sexually-desirable women, ie. women of childbearing age, even if they have no intention of having children with her. Once she gets to 30 she is replaced by 'this year's model'. Here women are used as status signifiers to cement a man's position with other men. It actually has nothing to do with the woman herself or the man's emotional needs outside of perceived status. No good chasing the status and then finding out you have the love and approval of other men but not that of a good woman. And the system today pits all men against all other men as societal norms break down BUT it's still better than having to physically fight off other men all day every day to stop them having sex with your females, isn't it?
This video rang true to me. I've always wondered why A) I never really bothered to participate in the hypergamy competition among men, and B) why I have never felt desired by women. There has been a lack of effort on my part because I do not think all the effort and work, as well as confusion trying to understand women's preferences reaps equal benefits and rewards. In this video you briefly mention that hypergamy will primarily benefit a man outside the secondary benefit of women's affection, but you didnt really explain/sell what that is. I understand that's not what this video is about but I'm still not convinced those primary benefits are worth the chase either.
A masculine problem solving method projected on to women . I love it
Nah, this episode is inherently dumb and his inexperience with women is very obvious this time
@@theravenousrabbit3671give evidence for this
I don't think that is the angle here. This is for men to solve by understanding how women today, mate and to break the two misconceptions about their mating practices strongly held by us.
What's the solution tho
@@jirensentry7609my writing is poor. I am saying what you are saying . We project our thought processes on to them. Then we are resentful if they don’t act how we think they should.
Thanks for the video Dr. Orion. By all my accounts with the information available, it seems best to date women during the "honeymoon" or "cupcake" phase of the relationship: first 3-9 months. Asking for longevity beyond that with everything we know about women and hypergamy its a huge ask it seems. And a bunch of men feeling like its a huge ask, that is certainly a problem for society. If society doesnt see it now, or sees it but chooses to ignore it now, it likely will shift course in the future
The huge ask is directed to men - are you capable of the manly commitment needed? One guide could be Jordan B Peterson, it seems many young men intuitively understand that he is a father and a teacher. There are many other mature men, too, on the right track. Maybe dr Taraban, too, in due time.
For more, see Coach Greg Adams "Marriage Wheel" video about where to jump off.
Spot on. That particular time frame(give or take) is the BEST it will ever be in the relationship. Either nothing, or Short term stints are the ways to go in this day and age.
@@michaelcap9550 Coach Greg Adams and Dr Orion would be a great deep dive together. I think both of their own similar perspectives on marriage is one of the most thought provoking topics men can discover on all of RUclips.
As with every time this concept is presented, it’s hard to hear and impossible to deny. This is the best, most succinct and most complete presentation I’ve seen. Especially the key focus that meeting the hypergamous criteria is nothing more that a preliminary qualification. And, the final statement about how many men essentially decide to give up is a reflection of a natural consequence of hearing the same essentially depressing, exhausting facts hundreds of times on social media.
It's not hearing those facts anywhere that makes men give up, it's that those facts corralate with their personal experiences which they've before perhapse attributed to bad luck or not trying hard enough. When they finally realize it's not them, it's the society and especially women, then they give up and honestly, it's the smart thing to do (at least as far as "serious" relationships go).
Let's keep it real.
You don't get in life what you want, you get what you are,
Why all the fuss, stress, life will always hand you opportunities.
Each day everyman becomes above another, let everyman be content with himself🎉
I got together with my wife when i was 23. We have struggled together and grown together over 30 years. My advice is to find someone decent at a young age and stay with them for life, before hypergamy becomes dominant as it does in later years. I wasnt top 10% in looks or financially, just found someone decent at a young age, and never wanted to change that. We're still great 30 years later. I'd hate to be on the dating market now...
This is the truth
We live in a post marriage age my man, it’s off the menu.
You probably can't bring yourself to accept that you were just lucky, but it's understandable. We all think "if I could, anyone can." But it's a hollow assumption, made from a blind guess that everyone must be "just like me".
It just happened to be one of the lessons of my life that stood out: anything I could do that the average person could not, was due to "special talent" that I was "blessed" with, while anything others could do that I could not, was only because I "didn't apply myself" sufficiently. It never mattered that I would explain the details of how much time and effort I put into something, it will STILL a "gift" that I was given, because the people telling me this had actually tried for a few minutes one day and found that they just didn't have the 'natural' ability.
I got to see that people are very funny in the way they view things: once they get an idea in their head, there is no reasoning or amount of explanation that can get it out.
It’s hell bro, just be happy and don’t look at our generation of content, the internet has ruined everything ESPECIALLY women, it WILL subconsciously fuck with your brain.
I went that route myself. Unfortunately, at that age I was too naive, too unaware. I didn't know what I wanted/needed, and I definitely didn't recognize how broken and incapable my wife was. There's never really been a "together" in any of it. The full weight was and has always been on me and nearly all the benefit on her. While I have grown and come into my own, she's the same unaccountable, emotionally stunted child she's ever been. If you're looking for a solution it isn't here either. Perhaps there's something to the strategy of first making yourself then going to find the unmade woman 10 years your junior. Alas, too late for me, I'm already committed.
Walking away is men's superpower.
Not only is it an act that women can't control, it is also extremely damaging in that it's the ultimate rejection which they can't handle.
My girl and I were discussing the rocky relationships that we could see amongst our friends. In that context I simply stated that I'd walk away from it all, not engage.
This was a bombshell to her, she interpreted this as a major threat to her/us - whereas all I was doing was highlighting a hypothetical example.
Oh dear, she was spinning out of control and imagining it to be a reality, she just couldn't process it.
Jesus.
Rejecting women is massive for them.
I think it boils down to gender differences in how men and women interpret and resolve issues.
Generally, when conflict arises, men prefer to retreat into their safe space to prevent further escalation whereas women prefer to engage and discuss over it in order to find solutions.
I think your girl wasn’t interpreting your response as a rejection to her as a person; perhaps, she interpreted your walking away as disinterest in not willing to resolve potential relationship issues that may occur in the future.
This may imply insecurity in the relationship both of you share. Since she values the relationship she shares with you, it is understandable that it may have invoked feelings of anxiety (although it is a hypothetical situation in a certain context, it may happen in reality).
You just need to reassure her that no matter the differences in how both of you respond to conflicts, there will be an amiable solution for the both of you.
Perhaps, you may feel puzzled over how women think. Generally, women tend to possess a more emotional mindset and men tend to possess a more logical mindset.
Of course, I’m making general assumptions although it seems that your girl may fit into this assumption.
Tinder only works when you swipe left. If you only swipe right, then you don't establish a preference and thus get the bottom of the barrel. @@melenico4512
Wow a psychologist who isn't completely insane. Not something ya come across everyday. Love the content
Focusing on yourself and being a self-sufficient, "high value" man makes you realize that if im self-sufficient in an economic, spiritual, and emotional sense, why look for something that I already provide for in myself. Just because we've realized our potential doesn't mean that our cup runneth over. The occasional hug, kiss, and positive reinforcement is definitely missed
I worked with a witty Irish Electrician who had sailed the world on cargo vessels. He used to say “The only honest relationship between a man and a woman is between a prostitute and her client”.
And marriage is the legalized prostitution..
@@andersnielsen6044 this is the society created by men by trying to keep power over women. this is how limited and unaware men are. pathetic.
Nice 👍 true
@@claude394 no wonder you spend your life on youtube. hopeless.
@@chelsy2255hmm,those guys disturbed some prostitutes who spend time on youtube
Yes.. this has caused me to become more hesitant about seeking a mate. Especially in todays age of social media and vast attention from other men, huge disadvantage to men and modern dating
Yea man its insane. Literally have married woman hitting me up while they still have pictures of their man on socials. SMH unbelievably
@@AbletonLiveTechs yup… i want an actual relationship and not just a bunch of hookups. Honestly not really sure how to go about it anymore even while working to be higher status.
@@joshweatherly8715 We are all on the same boat. Especially for me being christian I see it more spiritually. IMO woman have been decieved again by the apple 🍎 📲
@@AbletonLiveTechs yessir i feel that!! Great way to look at it actually… i am a christian as well. Good luck to both of us on this quest…
@@joshweatherly8715 Yea man good luck!! Stick to christ only he can give you peace. Also invest in boxed wine and cat food 😂
Mass females soon alcholics and pet moms
I'm in the top 10% and I can agree, the juice is NOT worth the squeeze. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life, there is much less prosperity when you have a woman in your life.
Get to the phillpines and date around. Then get back to work. Best of both worlds.
Do you think you would feel a need for that excess prosperity if you didn't have fear of scarcity?
And what about the prosperity makes you happy, exactly?
It’s not a fear of scarcity. It the fact that a sub human with a 12 year old mentality will never take my assets from my life’s work because they can with the slanted divorce laws. Only a fool would take such a risk. 🤡
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
This was brilliant. I came into this not expecting much or perhaps a RedPill/whiny answer like most RUclips videos, but this was amazing. You are knowledgeable and articulate in the top 10% if not 1% like Jordan peterson.
Gents... be your best self. Working on yourself is a worthwhile lifetime goal and by that I mean the value is in the constant journey.
Either she sees the value and appreciates it or she does not. Don't lose daily focus on consistent improvement of yourself.
Always... ALWAYS be ready to walk away and if she threatens to leave.....don't give her the option, instead show her the door and require that she utilize that door.
Women may thrive on game playing but men do not. Do both of you a favor and help her to initiate her new chapter in finding someone else and free up the spot so that you can find someone who wants to be with you. Everyone wins.
If you do not allow her to manipulate you, then she will respect you and YOU will respect yourself.
She may leave you specifically because she cannot manipulate you and she happens to want to be with someone that she can manipulate. Its a good thing for her to go.
Long story short.... live your life in such a way that you are focused on yourself and you present to the world and yourself as a person deserving of respect.
DO NOT tie yourself into knots trying to please her. If you have to do that then she will not be pleased no matter what you do but she might ring you for every drop of benefit she thinks she can get out of you before monkey branching to a new victim. Don't be a victim.
I'm quite sure women would select men based on their secondary sexual characteristics outside of patriarchy, but because that would be unfair to most men (out of their control), they are encouraged by society to base their selection on merit. That, I believe, is what drives men's emphasis on achievement and the desire to be in power. They don't want to possibly be selected out because of their lack of angular features, body hair, size, etc. Just a couple hundred years ago, men artificially selected mates for their daughters, based on status and resources. I believe that the power struggle between the sexes over who gets to naturally select influences everything from economics, law, what constitutes marriage and family, religion, and politics.
Parents instruct their daughters to go on dates with resourceful, high-status men who will treat her with respect and won't hit her. She may or may not care about the wealth, but she most likely agrees with her parents' influence that he shouldn't hit her or put her down. So that's gate number 1.
Next, they have to make easy and interesting conversation. That's gate number 2.
After that, she has to be physically turned on by her date, and he with her. Now those secondary sexual characteristics matter. She considers whether the possibility of pregnancy or STI is a risk she wants to take. That's gate number 3, and it could take a few hours or a few years...
Next, okay in bed. He doesn't have to be amazing, but if he's selfish, inattentive, or passive in bed, it's a turn off. There may never be a repeat. Gate number 4.
This could be the end of the road if she likes being single. But if not, fidelity, honesty, and long-term commitment. That's gate number 5.
I just wanted to say all this because this video makes it sound like women are making these impossible demands that they can't fulfill, when some of this is our fathers. It's like when women have to meet these expectations of being crazy beautiful by using cosmetics and hair dye. A lot of that is our mothers want beauty to be "merited" as well. Anyhow...
You missed one thing. The percentage of females murdered by an intimate partner was 5 times higher than for males last year in the USA, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics.
It’s personality related. Your success with women depends solely on the emotions you are able to elicit from her when she’s around you.
It about your emotions towards her. We fall in love with somebody because he sees us in a different way, and he also takes the lead.. First you must fall in love with her then she will follow you
@@iaf4454 Hahaha. No. Hell no.
@@irresponsiblyblue1411seems like you've got quite a lot to learn
@@iaf4454That was a good laugh. More of it please.😅
@@iaf4454 bruh. No.
A lot of guys in the West find Modern Women not worth dating and or marrying. Glad I don't live there anymore. One friend in the USA told me: "Dating Modern Women is like a job interview only the man PAYS".
Not west but in entire world😂😂😂😂
Basically you need to not only get status, wealth and be attractive
You need the *riiiiizzzzz* too
When you get all of that, why would you settle for a woman for the rest of your life
@@mentoriii3475 No one is saying you have to, be on your own if you want. But most men are weak when it comes to handling being on their own.
But for what?? What do men get out of the deal??
@@carlospita6442 exactly the same as what women get! Love (including the physical side), companionship and someone who is always on your side...my point is that men seem to ooze desperation and seem more willing than women to "settle" - they can't handle being on their own (no idea why), women are much stronger in that way.
@@js9273mmm nope. Men don't get love. We get someone who loves what we are able to provide. No woman really loves a man except for his mom, if he's lucky.
Companionship? Maybe. But we already have friends for companionship. So we don't need her for that.
Loyalty? Are you kidding me? 70-90% of divorces are initiated by women. Women don't commit to men. Women only commit to their feelings. If a man wants loyalty, we can get a dog.
Modern women bring absolutely nothing to the table we can't already get for ourselves.
It's sad. And it shouldn't be this way. Men and women are better together. But this is what 50 years of the female superiority movement and modern culture have created.
Well things didn't used to be this way. Not even that long ago I graduated high school in 1989. Teenagers in high school were still meeting, falling in love and getting married after school was finished and they built up a life together. True not all of the marriages lasted. Go back further to my grandparents and parents days like the 1930s then the 1950s people got married and stayed married for life to one person, 50 to 60 years. Not a perfect system but I think men and women were happier with each other back then. Now I see so much bitterness and anger. Its sad.
Women truly are agents of chaos.
Im fit, world record holder, worth millions, tall, own a development company , christian, smart , frugal, generous , yet I drive a 7k Camry and dress casual like a surfer or skater and its exhausting because I bring a lot to the table but dont want to find a woman by peacocking my way to get her. If I have to go get a Lamborghini or even just a 100k car, dress like a baller and layout my success resume all the time, I dont really want the woman thats attracted to that.
I have several friends similar to me. The smart women would be a lot slower to judge a book by its cover....the dude with all the flash is usually financially leveraged out (all show no long term go) , likely to be unfaithful and always more in love with the superficial game than higher values.
Hypergamy can be gamed but there are many of us who dont want to play that game because there are no winners ....especially with divorce laws the way they are.
I use the money to lure a visually hypergamous woman in and then pay her 100k a year for leaving me and taking my kid??? Nope! Thats why you want to attract the girl thats not basing her hypergamy on those visuals.....but thats almost non existent today in America
You are 100% right not to advertise your material value, but perhaps you could leverage your intellectual/ethical/emotional value? We attract what we are, so I don't doubt you will find someone who isn't just after you for your money. It happened to me - I got married to someone I was introduced to by friends, who took all my money. I realised I had been giving off the wrong vibes and actually now I have nothing aside from the house I live in and some land abroad. I realise how the whole thing has scarred me emotionally. I was never a gold-digger so I really didn't think it could happen to me but now I have realised my true value is in my personal values and achievements, not numbers in a bank account. Busy setting up another business, surpassing my fitness goals and above all being perfectly happy if I remain single and celibate the rest of my life.
I guess what wasn't talked about is another factor: prominence. Because this being well-known and respected in at least some small local peer group is the thing, that lets you skip the "is he a maniac"-phase and saves you a lot of effort. So I'd recommend the brain surgeon, to head to the one or the other conference, have some nice presentation there, not be shy of any stage or charity event, anything that gives you a microphone in the hand or a stage, is perfect.
A thousand percent true. Im in the upper end of men. You said something today that is exactly why ive thrown in the towel on this bullshit game. You can have the money, the body, the game, but if you say that one thing wrong, you get completely blown out of the game. I've learned to use my charm and whittiness to make make up for the other areas of less attractiveness, but that comes at a price of saying the wrong thing sometimes. Theres so many hurdles ive absolutely just given up.
But what he preach in this video is opposite 😅he literally said that even loosing half of your stuff in divorce court you benefit somehow 😂😂😂😂. The video is very naive
One can’t be both “upper end” and insecure.
Honestly. It's all way too much of a hassle to me. I (man, 38 y/o) had 2 relationships in my life. Even though they were the most stressful frustrating times of my lives, i'm still glad i've got the experiences of having intimate relationships with women. There were also good sides to it and i've learned a lot.
But having said that, when i hear what it takes to be a suitable man for a woman to choose me, i don't like having to do that for another person. I mean, i work to improve myself on many levels, but that's for me. I don't like the idea that a woman likes me because of all that i've accomplished. I would like a woman to just like - dare i say love - me for me. I am capable of that, why wouldn't a woman be? But i've been redpilled a while ago and just do not see this happening, knowing better the nature of women now.
Man, i sound mighty pessimistic, don't i! Might look like i'm depressed, but i'm actually not. Last relationship was 1,5 years ago now. I won't lie: at times i miss the intimacy, but there's so much more that i definitely do not miss! I'm just glad that i'm a guy and on top of that an introvert. I'm fine on my own. You guys can have these women.
You sound like you have the rare natural gift of self-respect. Each time I notice another guy, who claims to be a successful alpha-male, talking a lot about female's desires I can't take him seriously anymore.
Once you get over the grief of knowing that the connection you want can never exist, women just lose all appeal. I can't even feel attraction anymore, and I don't ever want to. The only reason I clean the pipes once a month is so I don't have to clean the sheets
@@Tom-vq2hw The same seems to happen to me. I just don't look at women like that anymore. Outward pretty female appearance: doesn't faze me. First because it's all gone in a few years, second because a part of it is just make-up and third because there can be a truly nasty creature of a woman behind that. The only way i can probably feel attraction again is by seeing true feminine character/qualities in a woman.
Maybe a bit TMI but i recognise the cleaning the pipes instead of having to change the sheets. After a while though, that last bit just stopped with me. Could be my age (38, almost 39 now), could also be the duration of no-f@p and the overcoming of my addiction to lust (be it through pr0n/f@pping/s@x with women). My mind isn't occupied with it anymore, so my body also stopped with it i guess.
@@Tom-vq2hwonce you know you know
Just to be clear, even if you do have good looks, money and status, and you also are a good lifestyle and emotional fit for her, you can still end up divorced 7 years down the line, as women reserve the right to change their minds once you have bought her the diamond ring, house and given her kids. She'll probably get emotionally bored and want to move onto a new exciting guy. RIP non-MGTOW's.
I could never understand why women leave top tier hollywood men. Always thought looks and $$$ is 90% of what women want.
This is exactly what happened to me... It cost the children the most. The modern woman is sick. Truly sick.
If your mgtow why are you here ?
@@neetea2 to learn, to change my mind if I am wrong, to teach my son, to share my understanding/experiences with others, etc etc
@@alb12345672 goes to show how naïve and clueless you are (like most commenters here). Looks and money are great, but they’re no use if you’re an arsehole or the chemistry just isn’t right.
Women math: 20 guys who make 50k are after me.....therefore I deserve a man who is worth 1 million dollars.
As an international diplomat for the last 13-14 years, living in 7 different countries around the world, from Aleppo, Syria over New York, America to now in Kyiv, Ukraine, all I can say is, that this is spot-on. I have never had a "long-term" relationship since the one I had thru my teens and 5 years at university. But I have been with +250 women over the years and trust me, even married women would do anything to just "show up" if I send them a text about I am in town later this day or week. For the right guy - a woman is willing to sacrifice anything they have already, even their kids.
Yep.
This makes me very sad. I hope you don't mean literally. Please tell me there are actually some decent married women who have rejected your offer. I can't imagine a family being broken up or sacrificed this way
Not good character traits
@@Ladeliciadelinda I suspect it’s made up, don’t worry.
Well, Anders, you shameless sea lion! Do turn to analytical psychology asap, before you do more harm. What happened with/in your early relationship to make you this cynical and screwed? Why so soul-less? Also good-looking "vikings" need to have an ethical keel and their eyes on a reliable beacon to navigate well on their life's journey. They, too, need to build up character. Bättre börda bär ingen med sig än mycket mannavett. (Hávamál)
As a start I recommend to become more successful and happy on a deeper level:
*Stephen R. Covey* De 7 gode vanene - ledelse og livskvalitet på høyeste nivå : gjeninnføring av karakteretikken
Anyways, all the best wishes, hope your hurts get healed.
So basically: learn to build relationships. Learn to build trust. Learn to interact with people and how to flirt.
„Be yourself“ becomes more important than climbing steps on the ladder. The steps are only extra
Love your practical and intuitive approach.
On the bright side, with there being no cheat code, you are left with no choice but start every conversation as you should... like a real human being 🙂
“I always want more and more and more” is what my college girlfriend used to say. She would laugh when she said that, so I thought she was kidding. I had no idea.
I was with a gal for the past few months and I had to walk away after several times projecting her fears onto me.
I find that so many women falsely accuse me of being someone who I’m not.
When you look for your fears in someone then you will undoubtedly find it
It goes for men too. But I can see how as women are more risk averse that they'd be more prone to this behaviour. For example, I raise my eyebrows at a lot of things as signs of being untrustworthy when they may be benign. And it's not like I've been cheated on or anything like that. It is just in my nature.
The sound effects at the end of the video imitating women voice were spot on 😅 also, what you've said about the energized approach is something I can relate through a friend. He worked hard for years sculpting his body, had incredibly healthy eating and sleeping habits and read/learned a lot. He got eventually noticed by young women, however shy-ed away a lot and things aren't any better now. I guess it is a process where you have to develop yourself in parallel, focusing on more than one aspect
A woman independent of men no longer need a man for provisioning. Take all that cohorte of women out of the equation of looking for a beta provider. They're looking for something else.
The best insight ever. But after 60 years of this I do think these insights apply more to current American women. Your other video on buying it (versus paying for dating) is the perfect rejoinder.
Some men still need to hear the 'necessary but sufficient" part.
But most men just need to know the tradeoffs and make a targeted. This means clarity on what they want and confidence in what they offer. Survey the field. Know that all girls below top 10% are available. In the next 20% (11-20) there will be plenty who are what you seek and most of them know they have little shot at the best men.
That means for any man, his best signal is quiet confidence that time is on HIS side. And girls read exact that, if only subconsciously. Go for it.
But that's not what I'd want. If a girl is only with me because she couldn't get with another guy she sees as "higher quality", then that's not what I want a relationship to be built off of.
To me, getting trapped with a girl who is just settling for you is a pretty dangerous thing
They can't admit to themselves that they don't have a shot at "the men they want", didn't hear that they think that they are all 10s? When they are just 5s at best.
@@walkerzven4972 That is true but decreasingly so. Wide selection from 9-minus to 8-plus, and they are not ALL deluded, Economy slowing down, worthless over-priced degrees. And some 7/8s are useful; nurses, IT, useful skills to supplement the man.
Remember, the key to find those is quiet, nor arrogant, confidence. They recognize it.
@@brads8350 Brad, LIFE is a compromise. There will be opportunities of all kinds that someone cannot seize, but far more that they CAN.
In the mating game for example, there are many girls who can be the yin to your yang and they will pursue you in the low key way girls operate.
@@robertarvanitis8852 I know what you mean, I just think we all have to find the right person, which can be difficult.
I spent my 20's learning how to talk to girls and now that I'm in my 30's it is easier than ever. I am not jaded, though I understand the game. I have a lot of opportunities, and I love that, but a few years ago I realized in learning this I've lived a life that not a lot of people can even imagine let alone relate to, and for this reason, it's hard to find a girl because they are all so boring.
not quite celibate but not quite in any rush to hop into a relationship or put in a single ounce of effort into dating at the moment.
I hate how we kinda have to lie to women, just to keep them around. It becomes tiresome to play that childish game can’t we just love each other help each other out and stay committed to one another.
It's like you're inside my head. I really just don't think it's worth the effort. I am just ploughing effort into keeping fit, I cook now, and learning the violin has really engaged me. Feeling very motivated and in the zone when I practice. Relationships have always been tricky for me, both friendship and romantically. I think taking time to just be with me is really great. I am starting to like myself now, and am really starting to understand that the cure for loneliness is not a romantic relationship
You are on a very good way! Congratulations!
Don't rule out romance completely. If it happens by itself, it would be worth a try. If it never happens or turns out wrong, you just fall back to normal happy single life. So you have nothing to loose, but something to gain.
You are so right. Many people look to others to gain validation from . Loving yourself is the best way.
I like what you're saying.
When I go near a bird or cat, it has to assume that I'm a danger unless proven otherwise. The animal doesn't know me at first, doesn't care and has a huge chance of getting hurt by trusting me.
So it's the same with men approaching women. And that sounds logical to me.
whoaaaa outstanding analogy
Exactly! And, when a woman is young and attractive men should be the same way.
I am beginning to believe that all this psychology and dating advice is very much secondary to how you feel about yourself (self love, etc). Plus people make choices and have preferences regardless of any given strategy. I meet women and we don’t meet again. Then another is very positive and wants to meet up. The trick is to be able to get through the rejections and indifference because when you do meet the game changer it is quite eye opening.
True but then if you do meet the game changer but aren't quite ready yet try anyway, somewhat succeed for a while, but ultimately fail to fully rise to the occasion... it can then be very discouraging and depressing after that point. This actually happens a lot. Often, other unfortunate life circumstances and people also contribute to this as well, but ultimately fatil courtship and or relationship mistakes are at the core. It's hard to move past this but in various ways, can still be done. But that doesn't mean that many of the affects don't remain long term.
And I am not referring to casses of false "true love" either. People actually often screw up and end up ruining great opportunities they ALMOST succeeded in... this doesn't even get talked about as much now because so many have no concept of what a truly sucessfull relationship among the NOT famous or highly affluent can be.
I've been studying evolutionary psychology for 4 or 5 years now and I have to agree to most of what you say.
I disagree that every man starts at the same place. If you're an average guy dating you or sleeping with you never crosses a woman's mind. Thats why the meme about average guys being invisible to women exists. If you're attractive the opposite is true. A better explanation; in my opinion, would be that women start out neutral towards attractive and wealthy men and that your average man starts out comeplete off the score board because she can't imagine being with you until she's confronted with the fact that you're standing there shooting your shot. Just doesn't ever cross her mind, which automatically puts you at a disadvantage. Especially if your game is shite, which it usually is because being average you approach women less often.
Also what makes a high value man is a sliding scale from woman to woman but a lot of guys get stuck in this idea that it's impossible to become high value enough to catch a woman's eye because we think it's a single insurmountable mountain. In reality its a set of hills, some are higher and some are lower and you can choose which hill you climb. Which for some it genuinely is impossible; if we're being honest, because even if you could talk your way into heaven and you're built like an ox but you're short, hunchbacked and look like you crack open coconuts with your face none of that is going to get you into a woman's bed. It's not as hard as we believe but its quite difficult and can take a long time. Especially for those of us with less self control and less motivation. Whether climbing that hill is worth the effort you expend is a question for each individual man. To a lot of us it's simply not worth the effort we expend and the risk we take on to have something that will usually be fleeting anyways. Its genuinely confusing how thats unacceptable to the majority of people.
I beg to differ. Certainly, being stronger offers very little benefit to a man, other than the cosmetic effect attracting women. Even status and money is primarily for attracting women. A man can be reasonably happy with a few friends and a very basic lifestyle.
This was an amazing dissertation. Just got a new subscriber! This was very well explained 💯
No. It’s not that I think that I can’t enter into the 10%. It’s that I feel like a scum bag competing against men. Quite frankly, I genuinely like the vast majority of men that I meet. Most men are interesting decent guys. I deeply resent women for creating a situation where 10% of men get to have sex with women, and 90% of men are left out. I can’t believe in that game.
The economics of society aren’t like that! We’ve had a sizeable middle class. I believe most people can achieve a middle class life style. And you don’t have to harm people to do so. Just provide value!
But with women, it’s a competition. If all men competed, it would still just be 10%.
That 10% of men that is like: “I can win this, I can get to the 10%,” I see as assholes. Quite frankly.
I’d rather go MGTOW and be a friend of mankind.
And incidentally- there ARE women who have been with men freely, without making men jump through hoops. There are these loving sluts who will happily fuck a community of men. Possessive men can’t deal with them, and flip out, but for myself, these are the real saints among women. I have found this handful of women to be genuine, kind, fair, generous, and good.
Economics are the top 10% can only buy a home now in 2023. Good cars it is the same. Women are now being more selective to get that house without having to work for it
@@timgibney5590 Yes, you may be right. I'm not an economist, I don't study the economy, I don't know. But I know that it is POSSIBLE for society to be one, with a sizeable middle class. Which means that society is something that could be *BUILT.*
I'm not so sure that that's the case with women -- that women could decide to lighten up, be friendly, work for their keep, and erotically love men broadly.
@@LionKimbro I make 95K a year if I get my bonus. I can't afford a house and rent in a crime ridden apartment and women who got in at 2016 for a house think I am low value because they earn 55k and could afford more. It pisses me off. Thank inflation and investors and airbnb flippers for destroying the housing market
Genuinely, I mean thank you for saying this. I'm all for having a healthy sense of competition, but I can't stand the vicious dog eat dog mentality most men have with each other.
@@mfhfreq21 Don't focus on that. Focus on what your want and your dreams. Go to school, party with your fiends, go to the gym, find a new career etc. Women will find you and talk to you first as friends and see something the bottom 75% of men lack ... ambition and vision!
That will attract them. But do it for you. Not them. They want to feel safe and comfortable and confident that they made the right decision to let you inside them and invest in them.
Female Hypergamy (moving to a bigger/better deal) is reality and I accept reality. What is sad and unacceptable when a woman starts having affair with her coworker or UPS driver not because the affair partner is better than their husband/boyfriend in any way, but because she just wants new excitement, drama, thrill of illicit hookup but she has no intention to leave her husband/boyfriend.
What you need to understand i that, in that circumstance, the UPS driver IS better than the husband, because he can give her the thrill the hubby can't. As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
Look up 'concealed ovulation'
That's why they do it.
Monogamy is a social construct with no sound basis in reality.
Why do random stray men project their failures upon billions of strangers?
@@supremelordoftheuniverse5449 The UPS driver is better than husband at giving her the thrill but the driver is not good enough to replace the husband. So she does the secret hookup based on lies and sneaky behavior. There is no honor in betrayal in the husband's mind. But the concept of honor does not exist in the cheating wife's mind.
@@rayrwyr well that's the female dual mating strategy for ya. Alfa f*cks beta bucks.
I no longer see an upside to dating. Quite frankly it's too much effort for not enough reward. My happiness does not require "coupling".
Your attitude is reasonable, IMO, and is summed up in the popular idiom "the juice ain't worth the squeeze". It is only in the last 4 or 5 years that huge numbers of young men in the west are adopting this attitude. internet publicity has allowed most men to get a clear look into women's thinking (actually it's not thinking, it's feeling and emotion) on this subject. It's not a pretty sight.