How women DISRESPECT men without realizing it: bursting the bubble
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- Опубликовано: 18 янв 2024
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This is the second installment of my two-part series on unintentional disrespect. The intention is to help prevent women from sabotaging the relationships they want with the men they want to have them with. In this episode, I identify two other ways in which women place themselves above men with their words and behavior, thereby enacting an assumed superiority. I also suggest that men are more sensitive to cues of disrespect given their relative preference for hierarchical arrangements and their lack of social protections.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #women #relationship
This is the second installment of my two-part series on unintentional disrespect. The intention is to help prevent women from sabotaging the relationships they want with the men they want to have them with. In this episode, I identify two other ways in which women place themselves above men with their words and behavior, thereby enacting an assumed superiority. I also suggest that men are more sensitive to cues of disrespect given their relative preference for hierarchical arrangements and their lack of social protections.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
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Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #women #relationship
They do the action of disrespecting you because they don't feel respect for you. It doesn't start with them doing the actions of disrespect, it starts with them feeling disrespect towards you.
Of course Couple's therapy almost never works . That Therapy in general. Its based on movie logic. Just watch Cinima therapy.
What about not acknowledging the effort that you've put into working your ass of or effort in trying to win her over in the courtship phase. Playing mind games cones off as disrespect since its an attempt to manipulate you and make you look less valuable, look like the adorer.
I've never seen psychology broken down in such a cogent way. I wonder if you would be interested or willing to do a series on issues gay men face when dating? Many of your videos are applicable, but the nature of two men may cause some unexpected interactions between them. Nobody talks about this, and a lot of gay relationships are messed up, or slip into a hetero style dynamic.
How about your woman abruptly talking over you about a different subject while in company. That must be common.
Gentlemen, if a woman ever makes a disrespectful or sarcastic remark about you, *especially* in the presence of others, call it out *immediately*, and do not back down when she pulls the classic "It was just a jooooooke". She likely knew what she was doing, and is trying to use plausible deniability to make you look like a hot head or insecure rather than taking accountability for the disrespect. Get your apology, or get out.
Maybe. Most of us will not get it immediately, we just feel 'off'. It is totally OK to confront it later, both when we have calmed and have written down exactly what we want to say. Understand that if she fails/ denies/ butbutbuts/ or attempts to joke it, then, well, we have our 'post but clarity' and 3 count (do her 3 more times, selfishly) her out.
mark
Just leave her.
...and for the love of God, don't create a platform/incentivize for her to do it. Meaning, don't do the classic, "My wife figures it out, but I seem to be slow in those areas". Don't insult yourself in attempts to bolster your girl. She loses respect for you when you do that, and it allows her to implicitly/explicitly do it too.
My only dilemma is.... Can they change these habits? Is this video going to open eyes for women, and they change these behaviors? Or is this more for the men out there to realize that they are being mistreated?
I suspect the latter is true. Mostly because I doubt grown people can change their character, and also because women who think they hit the lottery with a guy, DON'T behave like that in the first place. They only behave like that with men who they feel are beneath them.
Man has boundaries and preferences, woman says he is insecure. Manipulation 101.
Those women are telling on themselves
So what men always say we cant take a joke. 😂
I remember when Sadia Khan literally said this about Jonah Hill
Man has boundaries and preferences, woman says he is controlling her.
Women: "I should be able to question my man If he has a problem with it he is insecure"
Men: "I should be able to question my woman"
Women: "No! That is toxic and controlling!"
Exactly 😂
Accountability? What's that?
🤡 🌎
Nothing new or novel about hypocritical inconsistencies in the mind of the modern western woman
"..... and another example of the tyranny of the patriarchy!"
This is so spot on. I, as a woman, am seeing these patterns and tendencies within myself and there's only so much I can blame on wanting to protect myself or childhood trauma. The choice is mine now. I see it affecting my relationship and I have no one to blame but me. Thank you for this wake up call and helping me in choosing another path.
Glad you live in reality
@@vv-cv6ud It's clearly an ad for her podcast, man. Don't confuse authenticity with a desire for publicity. She's got a perverse incentive.
It's natural behavior, which people can be trained out of. The idea that woman should be allowed to behave like children their entire lives is what is to blame.
Need to learn how to be at peace with not having control
I read a bio on Albert Einstein. His wife called him an idiot because he couldn't "dress himself." Because he had a closet full of the same grey suit. That's because he had huge things to think about (like a unified field theory for the universe). He really could not be bothered matching his ties. My point being: men can't win. We can only mitigate.
The problem is most women do believe they are above men in relationships, which is why they disrespect men.😂
While I don't doubt your first clause, I'm virtually certain they're disposed to disrespect men of any stripe with the goal of getting their own way.
I'm not saying she wouldn't resist the urge for longer with someone she thought was "superior", or that it would manifest in the same way, but I don't think being "higher" than her is a panacea. I think men tell themselves that as cope.
Women care about themselves FAR MORE than they care about their partner and that-at its heart-is the single most significant factor in determining her behaviour.
Some women do believe this but the still respect the man appropriately.
@@cinnababe53 I'd argue very few and even fewer still for any appreciable length of time (which is the only thing that really counts). By that I'm talking 20 years plus. The divorce stats are clear on this. It's conclusively damning of just how awful women's behaviours are and very good evidence that they don't deserve to be offered marriage in the first place.
Thankfully the internet has exposed this for the first time ever and the knowledge is beginning to get pretty widespread in the mainstream amongst men.
@@cinnababe53 Then there should be no problem if men do the same.
@@arvindkrishna7035 I agree
This is golden. I am a man in a long term marriage with a woman. I realized with your first video that I had allowed some of this type of behavior to be normalized. So I did an experiment to see if I could return some ground in terms of boundaries. I am sharing because I think it might be interesting to men and women to hear: so my wife often interrogates me about what I am doing and how much money I spend on things. I am ok with us keeping each other accountable for financial responsibility reasons but it is done so much like a mother to a baby the way she demands I explain myself and keeps me on defense like a managed child. I realized I often have little white lies and secrets solely for the reason of avoiding this demeaning behavior. So for example I would lie about where I was, not because I am cheating but because she will interrogate me if it’s something I like to do and I feel guilty if it’s not something for the kids or her! As I thought about this I realized suddenly how crazy it is and I hated this very badly and this disrespect was one of the main things that was causing antagonism and a huge amount of pent up resentment in me that often comes out with me getting angry or doing something disrespectful back to her(just not as often nor as successful). So she asked me where I was and instead of lieing or telling the truth I said “I don’t feel like answering that right now” she flipped out and I always so shocked how much this triggered her. She started on the interrogating of Inwas cheating or did something wrong why can’t I tell her. And I held firm with zero emotion and said “if your not going to ask me in a respectful tone then we are not having a conversation” she almost got physical she was so pissed. It was then I realized how damn accustomed both of us are to this toxic power imbalance… it seemed like the end of our relationship for half a day… but I felt firm and when she was calm I walked up to her unprompted and I said “I love you” and kissed her really passionately then said “all I want is for both of us to be respectful to each other. If I was cheating on you I would make up a stupid lie, I am only saying that I wish for you to trust me and stop acting like the police. If you can’t do this I won’t cheat … I’ll just walk away and then it won’t be cheating because I’ll be single” now I said this in a very clear confident voice but also accompanied it with another kiss that spoke non verbally how much I hope she would choose to stay. The following week has been the best our marriage has been in a long long time. It’s too short to say that this is resolved but I thought if sometime is trying to establish boundaries know that it might get rocky before it gets better.
Good for you. I hope everything works out.
It amazes me the power of advocating for yourself and what holding firm in your beliefs can do for one’s relationship. Right on mate! You reestablished your role and authority, you didn’t concede to her capriciousness, and reaffirmed your devotion in a much better position than you were before. Sincerest regards to you and your wife sir!
Thanks for sharing this. I find the small victories of getting a little more back on track are what make a normal life a great one to live.
So, you somewhat rewarded her bad behavior. I just don’t tolerate that kind of sh!t from the start, ESPECIALLY from my wife. She’s be history.
I don’t know if you have been married long or your wife is Asian… but it slowly builds and I was not aware of it at first. Just avoided conflict and suddenly found myself in this
Was at a family reunion. There was a young woman with a hoodie that read “I love it when men shut the fuck up.” I didn’t like it. My wife made a big deal about my not liking it. It’s amazing how her contempt for me made it impossible for her to see my dislike and side with me. Her feeling that women have been oppressed made her side with open contempt. Her response: “Why are you letting that stupid shit bother you?” To me, it was clear that she was at some level in agreement with the sentiment. It became a major issue and I have begun drawing lines, neither to give nor accept disrespect.
Good man. Stay strong.
She is kindof right. Shouldnt let stupid shit bother you, ever. When stuff doesn't bother you, then you are untouchable! See...
It is amazing how many women will support other women so obviously in the wrong aka sisterhood e.g. husband has an affair, women say what an a'hole. Wife has an affair, women overlook the infidelity and attach blame to the husband. When a wife constantly disagrees with a husband aka oppositionality, it is a major read flag concerning total lack of respect and childishly weakening/ruining the relationship.
And yet, you’re still with her.
Your wife does have a point about you being bothered by "stupid shit". It shouldn't be bothering you but at the same time she should also be more supportive about it bothering you because she can obviously see that it is. She should at least be in agreement with you that the message on that hoodie is inappropriate, thereby showing solidarity with her husband.
A large majority of women will dislike this video because he's telling the truth. I'm still going to share it with them anyway! Thanks Doctor!
You're suggesting that men care more about the truth than women do.
My Ex told me to Shut The Fvck up, over a little disagreement. I immediately checked her, she didn't even apologise, didn't even aknowledge she did anything wrong. I walked away from her house the following morning, as I felt disrespected. She sent me a text message and ENDED the relationship. Got disrespected & dumped on top of that. Two days later she starts blowing up my phone, trying to get back together with me. She gave me an apology with the promise that she would behave better in the future. I stupidly gave her another chance.. Only 4 weeks later she went into an agressive rage in a disrespectful way, because I laid down a boundary about using social media at the dinner table. I told her to leave my house, and never spoke to her again.
You did the right thing
All's well that ends well! 😅
She didn’t respect you from the jump. Women don’t disrespect men they respect
@@davnoble8472 True. No lies.. However lots of background to this. She was on anti depressents prior to meeting me, had been in a toxic relationship prior to meeting me, more than likely alpha widowed.. Also had anger issues, not only with me, but other people around her. I think I got involved with someone emptionaly damaged.
@@davnoble8472 True and false.. Narcassisct and entitled woman don't respect nothing.
All people deserve respect and no one should tolerate disrespect
Some version of “Hope you can handle my sarcasm” is EXTREMELY common on women’s dating profiles.
Them ladies should be on their profiles like: I am an apparent victim, 0 self respect, so I prefer disrespecting people almost every time, please bear with me, I can handle myself 🫡🤡🤡🤡🤑
Get off the apps. Once you realize it's all the trash that nobody else wants it's an easy decision.
That is just pure grooming for verbal abuse.
Just because I can doesn't mean I want to.
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" 🚩🚩🚩
I put up with plenty of disrespect in our marriage. Oddly, when I started calling out her s**t is when the marriage came to an end.
It's because you tackled it too late. You have to nip it in the bud immediately. And if it happens more than once or twice, you have to walk away. You can never keep a woman unless you have the ability to Walk Away.
Same here, I unknowingly at the time started standing up to disrespect, and put an end to any sort of disrespect I conveyed, but like you said it was to little to late as I had allowed her to avalanche in the terms of disrespect.
@@kalbsleber narcissistic mother, enabler father
Good for you.... would you rather have remained a SIMP husband and put up with the disrespect??? Is trashing your manhood and self-respect worth occupying a lower position in a toxic marriage???
I'm with you. Too little too late on my end. She had cheated on me and that FINALLY caused me to stand up for myself. I believe the marriage was over when she did that but I began calling out ALL of her disrespect and then the marriage finally came to an end. You wake up real fast when going through such a trauma. Amazing how setting boundaries and sticking up for yourself with due respect is said to be controlling and insecure. Amazing that my now ex had no humility and felt justified in her cheating. Silly rabbit.
Pretty simple, just don't accept anything less than decent and respectful - PERIOD!
Exactly. Refuse the BS at all costs 💯
Another placer porn page! Subbed.
You'd be so fun to mess around with lol
Unfortunately, due to most men's sexual needs, the majority of men will accept women who are disrespectful and indecent, just to get access to consistent sex.
This set of videos can also help men who feel disrespected by the women in their lives but don't know how to articulate WHY they feel disrespected.
Yes
I just saw the clip on cnn about how the inflation is hitting the new family’s with child care closet etc . Women was speaking like a breadwinner and masculine attitude, her men was holding the baby like caregiver . This is what the media is doing .
@@isaacwinters6954 No. Nothing good will come of explaining yourself. Even if the woman understands (not likely), it won't make her wanna change her behavior. Enforce your boundaries or leave.
@B4DWrath My position right now! On the brink of divorce, I have agreed to give the marriage 1 more try, but I have set these boundries moving forward, now that I KNOW what boundries to set. Lets see what happens...
@@brandchemist hopefully she listens.
Modern women really have a hard time with this respect issue. I keep hearing them ask why they should have to respect a man. I suggest that they try imagine a man that they love so much that they would give up their life for him without question or hesitation. You choose to dive in front of that bullet to save him. If such a man existed - how would he have to treat you? If he told you that you were his 7th option - would you die for him? If he was disrespectful and humiliated you publicly - would you die for him? They say this is old fashioned thinking because men won't die for women these days! Oh, do you mean like what is going on in the Ukraine right now?
Meh. Grandmothers are dying in the Ukraine. Has nothing to do with the subject. What you need to do is stop dating women and court them. Its totally different (no sex). You get to find out if your world views and values match hers and end it quickly if things dont match. And on top of that, you end up being a stellar guy because you haven't f someone elses future wife.
Absolutely. And women wonder why chivalry is dead.
The men aren’t dying for women, they are dying so psychopaths can protect there billion dollar scams and Ponzi schemes, I guarantee you not a single Ukrainian woman wanted this war, nor did they do a single thing to make it happen. Personally I wish all men from all across the entire world would refuse to fight wars for these psychopaths, but it doesn’t seem like they will.
Chivalry isn't dead. Certainly would be considered on the endangered list. I believe in chivalry and I pass that down to my kids.
Respect men because I believe that you should respect everybody. I respect everyone until they give me a reason not to..
That has to be a very good reason, For me to go against the nature of my character.
So far it requires endangering my children, Being disrespectful About my husband Or dehumanizing others.
Respect is love in action. The reason people should respect each other is the same they should love each other. The more you love a man or woman the more you respect that man or woman. Same as helping, obeying and being truthful. The more you love, the more you help, the more you obey, the more you are honest.
I thought i was insane for hating to explain myself to women 💭 Mind blowing 😳👌💯
FYI...Showing always works better than telling.
You should have figured that out by age 19.
This behavior is extremely common among WESTERN women.
It's universal
It's basically how society treats men today. Fe. in the media, from advertisement to the entertainment industry.
Yeah, Western China, Western Russia, Western Japan, Western Ukraine, Western Zimbabwe, Western Poland, Western Phillipines, Western............
Whining won't solve anything
@@alexisreyna2423 This is the problem with both genders. Whining on the internet and changing nothing in their personal lives.
I think that a lot of the social dysfunction we see is a direct result of people wanting to have different rules for others than for themselves. The more pervasive it is, the harder it is to learn good social behavior
The golden and silver rules are the genesis of all morality and social cohesion. Yet we've turned them from something being paramount to functioning properly into "It's good if you follow it, but you don't have to sweety. It's okay."
@@TheSpecialJ11 Absolutely
One important behavior I learned is, when faced with disrespect, especially publicly: “you do not speak to me like that.” If she defends herself, double down then walk away.
It needs to be said that a woman's sense of power often comes from knowing that she does not need sex like a man does. In fact, many women develop a distaste for sex with their partner, which only increases the behaviors Dr. Orion described as a way to repel further advances.
It's about Options.. Woman are disrespectful because the mobile phone/social media has given them access to thousands of other men.. You don't repair your car, when you can pick up a new one immediately.
Women do need sex and they will get it from another man if "her needs aren't being met". The disrespect shows up even more when she's sleeping with one man and living and giving reluctant or no sex to the man she lives with.
A man has a higher sex drive than a woman true, but a man does not need sex. Sex is not integral to survival of a man. The sooner a man can grasp this the sooner he can gain power. The problem is one of being undisciplined.
That fact you think men need sex is crazy to me like bro you won’t die you need food and water and shelter do you not have any arms or something?
I disagree very strongly with this. Well I can't speak for other women but specifically for me I disagree.
I definitely need sex with my man. Or I get depressed. I need sex with him just as much as he does me if not more.
I say more because I Initiate More often. On average initiates maybe once a week. Initiate several times every day.
But it's like a game for us. Playfull banter.. 😊
Mostly playful half serious unless he's all for it too.
I'm obsessed with my husband and he's okay with that. We've been together for 20 plus years now. The longer we're together, the more into him I am.
I'm sorry this happens I got distracted thinking about my husband. I'm not joking this really happens. I forgot what your comment was and what I was responding to
I apologize for Possibly wasting your time reading this.😅.
Oh well. We're happiest making each other happy. Making him happy and laugh turns me on. Seeing him look at me like I'm an ethereal fairy.
I like only him looking at me. Everyone else feels Uncomfortable. And I can't take my eyes off of him.
I hope we're blessed to be able to grow old together. And embarrass our grandchildren With our little signs of affection. 😊
The line he used on me. I lost my Teddy bear can I sleep with you.
Funny thing is I have narcolepsy. So our first few years are dating basically involved me sleeping at his place While he was on the computer. Yes I was literally sleeping, Prom night too.
Apparently his mom got pictures of me sleeping. She ran upstairs freaking out that we were doing something else.
He knows how to build computers he's so amazing and smart. He fixes appliances now.
I knew he was my soulmate and the one I wanted to marry since I was 16.
Oh I'm sorry again. I promise I'm gonna stop writing after this. I get so happy thinking about my husband. I get lost and distracted in the memories. If you read this far thank you. 😊
The emotion through which disrespect can manifest itself is contempt. Contempt ranges from mild disregard to complete disgust and includes the silent treatment. It’s emotional aggression, rejection. The contempted is perceived as having a lower social status and is failing to meet some standard, behavior or skill that the person who is feeling contempt deems as important. Examples are ignoring, making fun of you especially in public, the silent treatment etc. If a woman is disrespectful, ask yourself what standard she deems as important do you think you failed to follow.
Ive seen men do this to my husband!
@@deirdremorris9234 Because emotions are universal to human beings and men feel and use them too. Contempt is used when we want to remove an individual from a group for consistently falling to meet a standard important to us or the group, but either don’t want to confront the individual directly or want them to remove themselves. So we reject them by showing disrespect , being cold, hoping they will get it an leave or correct themselves.
".. failing to meet some standard, behavior or skill that the person who is feeling contempt deems as important. "
I have experienced this contempt/disrespect in a work environment. Because I wouldn't meet his LOW standard of how people should behave.
I remember a cute girl once told me she was stopped in a traffic control by the police, she then made a joke against the cop and he supposedly laughed it up and she proceeded on her way.
I don't remember what the joke was, but I remember that it was somewhat of an insult, something I wouldn't dare to say to a cop.
That was one of those times when I woke up to the power of women, simply for being women and looking pretty, they can get away with things a guy can't.
This has been an interesting series, and in my experience absolutely correct. Been with my husband for 30 years; early on, he set hard boundaries about being disrespected, especially in front of others (it rarely went the other way). Thankfully, I knew he was right and changed my behavior, so it was never a conversation that needed to be had more than once. In case it needs to be said, he treats me with the same respect I treat him, it absolutely goes both ways.
We are adults working as a team, and treat each other accordingly. I'm not his mom, his boss, or his HR department. As a result, we have always had a strong relationship, and are able to model the same for our kids. Hopefully, when they grow up and start relationships, respect will be their foundations, as well.
It sounds like U2 will be a beautiful example for your children.
That's cool. But did you not like him or something?
Loved him, which is why we're married. That didn't stop me from testing boundaries, though (not that I had any conscious idea of what I was doing back then).
Before we were a couple I tried to call him out for using a word I was offended by; he didn't care what I thought about it & if memory serves might have even laughed at me for getting butthurt when the actual target of the word didn't care. At the same time, he wasn't mean about it, he just took a stance and wasn't interested in being bossed around by me. ZFG before that was even a term. Frankly, it was extremely appealing.
I completely understand the “Infantilizing Surveillance” bit you touched on. My mother used to be like this when I was growing up, I had to sit her down and tell her that she doesn’t get to tell me anything and if she continued she’d just lose all contact with me all together.
She thought I was joking, I ended up cutting her off for 3 years. We reconnected, and she ended up fixing her behavior. I like peace and quiet, no woman in my life gets to disrupt my peace. Either they fall in line, or bounce.💯
Going through the same now. It's been almost 2 years. Mental health is so much better and on the verge of marraige. I didnt want that type of energy around my gf and didnt want her to pick up on my mothers toxic habits
@@xcb222Bravo 100% except for the marriage.
No marriage or cohabitation ever.
You actually come across as a selfish guy here. When you are a minor, your mother had authority (and responsibility) for you. You did owe her explanations. You seem proud of the fact you didn’t speak for 3 years, that’s not healthy on either end.
@@Amlux1984 I can only assume and I dont know for sure obviously, but you probably had a great relationship with your mother growing up. Which is great. I'm sure this is why you gave such a reaction to a story you barely know. Those few sentances he wrote dont tell the whole story, if leaving helps him escape something he finds harmful than being selfish was the right move. Kudos to him.
@@pigwank8234 sorry i was too quick to judge
Have a good day
The sarcasm point was spot on.
My ex-wife disrespected me a lot. Even worse was that I allowed it for far too long. I think the point where our marriage started to come to an end was the point in which I stopped allowing the disrespect to happen... primarily because it resulted in a narcissist losing control over me.
I play music as a hobby. Its my way to relieve stress. It brings me joy. It is an extension of who I am as an individual.
For a long time, as soon as I came home from work, she would say "No music today, (insert excuse as to why here)"... so I relegated myself to only playing music when she was out of the house... then came the chores list and a threat it hell to pay if it wasn't done by the time she got home... this list was long and would take me all day. As you can see where this is headed, it left me no time to enjoy my hobby and my passion... i got resentful. I would argue with her about it. I would give her back the same disrespect she was showing me.
Eventually, when handed the chores list on my day off as she was about to go off to work; I would crumple up the list right in front of her and toss it in the trash. I did a few things off it at my liesure, but only after I satisfied my need to play music.
With regard to the banning me from playing music when she was home, I reached a point where not only did I ignore her demand that I not go to my music room to play music every evening after work; but if I was playing my electric guitars, I played so loud I could not hear her shouting from the bottom of thr stairs to turn it down.
Arguments about this would be met with "I was a musician when you married me, and you knew what you were getting into. If that was a problem, you shouldn't have said yes"
My current wife understands that this is not just something I do for fun, but something I need in my life. She might ask me not to play music at certain times, but she at least allows me the opportunity. I think she knows by the stories I told about my ex, that if she wants our marriage to be a happy one, she needs to allow me some time to spend on my hobbies to decompress.
Hiding these behaviors isn’t the solution. The solution is actually respecting your partner. If you’re honestly respecting your partner, you won’t act this way.
Respect is earned
@@alexisreyna2423 agreed, but the actions that earn it also need recognized.
Too many men are taking care of their families and being faithful to their wives only for society to tell her she deserves more (money, better looking guy, etc) when she already has more than she’s earned.
@@alexisreyna2423 respect is also commanded by God
@@Joshcodes808 youre right, feeling unappreciated can demolish a relationship. But that's why you need to be more vulnerable yet firm. Women want someone that's emotionally available too. Unfortunately you still gotta establish boundaries with the one you hold dearest. But never from a place of resentment.
@@cosmictreason2242 what does this mean? The Bible says women must obey their husbands or what?
The sarcasm and joking, especially publicly are two of the main reasons I will be divorcing my wife soon. I just tune it out now and am working on my exit plan.
My ex couldn't hear _anything_ like this.
New girl loves you, Orion. 👊
Hahahaha 😂😊
I've been approached by dozens of women seeking serious relationships, including women I had never met or spoken to. However, if and when one of these women showed disrespect through making demands, being overtly argumentative, being dismissive, making a snide remark, treating others around me disrespectfully, or by saying or acting as though I'm "lucky to be with her," etc., I can assure you that their chance for a relationship with me ended the day this happened.
as a man, do what you want to do regardless. if she doesn’t respect what you want and by definition your boundaries, be wary.
Women do this at work all the time which is why they get such negative results and pushback. I had 300 freelance writers (mostly single moms) and they refused ot put titles on their pieces telling me it was my job to read everyone and add title. We fired them all.
She thought because had established favor with my parents and friends that she had won.
I left her at a bus stop in the middle of her sentence and haven't spoken to her since.
American Women: "Who is this guy to criticize us? 😂 I can do whatever I want I dont have to listen to any man"
*5 years and 5 cats later
"Where have all the good men gone?"
😂😂😂
British women: "man, American men have 0 sense of humor. Is that why they have no luck with the ladies over there? 😮"
Cats are better than some men. No, not all men, but some.
@@cindyforish8081Okay sure but exceptions don't make the rule. I'd much rather be a woman in a healthy relationship then alone with cats because I have no other choice.
@Strafeyy not all women that are single with cats lacked choice.
1. If a woman truly lacks choices, it's because she's either unattractive or unappealing. The first she can do little to change, except maybe not... maybe she has the ability to up her perceived attractiveness more than many think (I'll go further into that in just a bit). If she's unappealing...unfriendly, rude, always mad etc, she can definitely work on that and she should. She should seek to become a better person for her sake and all others around her.
2. Some women are appealing and attractive to some men. Very few are to all men, but there are varying degrees of attraction. Of those women, whether they have very few options or an incredible amount of options, some choose to stay single for very similar reasons some good and attractive men stay single. They want peace.
Okay, back to the attractive subject. I'm average at best and below average in some people's opinion. That's not a problem (it used to be, but it's a non issue now). I opted out of dating for over 20 years because of low self esteem. I worked on my self esteem and gained some confidence. Not much changed about my raw looks. I did lose some weight, but have gained most of that back. However, I have attracted some men. I've dated. I've been surprised at some of the men that have approached me. Yes, I'm aware some only wanted sex and weren't really into me as a person, but some were interested in me for more than just what they thought they could get sexually.
I'm 54, so my dating pool isn't huge. But I do have options.
I even dated a red pill man for about a month and a half. He was 10 years younger than me and was very interested in my mind and also sexually attracted to me. I knew him a couple of years before we dated. His deep dive into red pill is what broke us up though. But he was seriously attracted to me. I broke it off.
I don't date lightly. I will not date someone who disturbs my peace. So, yes, of the women that are single, many are single by choice.
@cindyforish8081 Thank you for putting the effort in but I really don't have time to read all that and give a matching articulate response. All the best.
Idk as a man I find good-hearted teasing okay. It depends on what’s being teased about. Us men banter with each other constantly. As long as it’s a friendly tease and not a bitter slight, it’s okay.
You also have build rapport. Which takes time. Plus you know how it's being said. With hecklers...its always insidious. They say things to cut you. That's what their brain is designed to do.
My wife used to disrespect me often whenever we got into a disagreement. I threatened to leave. We went to a lot of emotion-based marriage therapy. Even today I will sometimes have to wait until she's calm to explain why her behavior was disrespectful. She has gotten better at controlling herself in conflict, we are friends again and in a stable marriage.
What was surprising to me is that she slowly had to "wake up" to the fact that disrespect is unacceptable in a relationship at all times. The only conclusion that I can draw is that women have gotten the message from society that it is acceptable for them to be disrespectful if they are emotionally distressed. I can only guess that its a result of entitlement that's been nurtured while they were young and great-looking, while people were focused on capturing their attention rather than setting realistic boundaries and expectations.
As some women grow older, it takes time for them to adapt to a world that no longer accepts their childishness in this area. Men had to grow out of this area immediately when we were young, or else the world gave us crushing consequences. No one steps aside, the world makes young men pay for mistakes.
knightfreedom...congrats for you both learning respect. Good for the two of you. Enjoy each other!
I sent this to the girl im dating and she went ballistic. You can not imagine the torrent of emails complaining that im watching something that is so basic and doesnt appreciate that women are conplex beings!!! Omg! She's dumped now. She could not "hear" anything...ego unchecked....
I’ve had this conversation with my gf & she kept up the negative behavior to the point she’s now my ex & have seen me with other women on dates. The relief of letting go was immediate…💯
Dr Taraban wow this is so true I’m planing to separate from my wife of 15yrs due to disrespect and bullying thank you for your advice it only strengthens me.🙏
Take her to an authority first.
You been together for 15 years that's wonderful my friend I don't think of separation as an ideal option for your relationship try and talk to her first tell her what do you feel , how her actions make you feel and what you would like to change , remember don't let things exaggerate in your head and heart talk to your partner and if she cares and I Think she Dose , she will acknowledge your feelings and try to be better for the sake of your relationship and old times
Again ask yourself necessary the questions before that , there is plenty of quizzes online the questions alone should give you a perspective. I hope you do well and have a good love life
@@hasssanalbar9458 we have tried everything possible
A wonderful attempt to educate women on how to manage a relationship with a man. What I found is that women don't know how to communicate. So this was a great 2-parter, but my assessment is it will fall on deaf ears.
At the very least he's showing men how things should be, anything less and we move on. That's the only way things change - stop rewarding these behaviours.
Thanks for those episodes, I'm so stupid. At home my mom was always disrespectful for my father and I said that I will be different... And at the end I am the same. I met recently very good and high value guy and realised, I might just lose him, because of my behaviour... It is so hard for me to change
Even the longest path starts with a first step:
Tell him exactly what you wrote here, show him this video, apologise, show him your remorse and beg him to be patient with you and to let you know immediately if you should ever misbehave again. Tell him that you love him and beg for him to never leave you becuase of your misbehaviour.
For best results, go down on your knees when you tell him this and give him the best BJ of his life right after. Done!
Thank me later by replying to this comment. I'll gladly accept a modest monetary gift even if my adivce is priceless.
PS: Men love women, who respect them and take full accountability, and yes, we love BJs, too.^^
You need to have a serious talk with him and don't waste any more time. Are you dating? Looking for marriage? Already had sex? No more sex. No more dating. Ask hard questions, see if you values you match up. If they do, it will be worth while changing your ways IF you really like him. If not, move on.
I m Sorry, are you suggesting her to upgrade her relationship by DOUBLING DOWN on disrespect? She Is not a boss hiring and underlying, She Is an equal confronting another equal. Asking hard question Is putting her needs above everything else, the exact opposite of respect.
And no, she shoudn t change her ways because this man Is worth It, She should change them because they are wrong.
@@giacomobandini969 Asking hard questions does NOT mean disrespect.
As a man, I watched these two vids out of curiosity, and I must say all five points are true. Not all men will pay attention to these things, but these men who have self-respect will.
I appreciate the point about teasing especially, Doc. Thank you. I had a feeling something was wrong with teasing (as in disrespectful), and this let me understand what.
This is the second video from this guy and to say it’s revolutionary to me is an understatement. The first being while most marriages fail and the second being this one. It’s crazy because my marriage of 10 years is failing and we are both seriously considering divorce. Watching the other video about why marriages fail really gave me insight because when I broached divorce with my husband he immediately said we should simply for the kids. This hurt me at the time because I love my kids but my narrative has always been that it’s unhealthy to stay together because of kids. But that video quickly helped me to realize that kids and their upbringing must be the primary role of marriage. We have young kids and we’re both good parents I believe. What I wanted though was for him to want to be more for me, in terms of the attention he gives me etc.
This video again was like woah, because I honestly do every single one of the things he mentioned and my husband has always been resistant when i do it which has just made us argue as I didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. I didn’t realize I was disrespecting him consciously. But subconsciously, these things have come from a place where I have begun to feel less respect for him as I’ve felt my needs weren’t being met. Anyway real food for thought thank you.
Orion, thank you 🙏 Please continue this series addressed to women and how we inadvertently disrespect men! You are helping me in my marriage a ton.
Your can get a lot more from good pastors. Look up Voddie Baucham and Doug Wilson for their marriage content
Congratulations for listening. While I was watching this video I was imagining the insane reaction that I believe so many modern so-called "feminists" would have while watching; if they would even watch to begin with.
If more women in western countries were willing to reconsider things the way you are doing, men would not be inclined to go to Asia to find women who know how to behave like women.
@@Lawskipper I agree 100%! As not just a married woman but also the mother of a little boy, my heart aches for the state of attack on men today. I am doing everything I can to make sure my son and husband feel empowered to provide and protect the way they are meant to.
It has not been easy because I do admit that while I do NOT want to emasculate the men in my life, I didn’t realize until I hit my 20s that I have been completely brainwashed into doing so. I wish more people understood this. Even the women who desire happy and stable relationships with men, and not to compete with them, have been force fed a lie their whole lives. We have no idea that there’s a better way until much later when we see the true consequences of following the mainstream narrative.
Thanks for understanding and supporting us in learning how to better treat you all.
@Lawskipper. Some of us get it.
Great insight at the end. I too have noticed that men tend not to disrespectfully question or cause drama and chaos. They seem to have a more avoidant attachment style. While women do tend to disrespectfully question and cause drama and chaos. They seem to have a more anxious attachment style.
I agree.
I've had the 'luck' to be in a short relationship with an avoidant woman. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Can't really generalise on this. Some men love drama and chaos. They do it differently than women maybe as in less confrontational or less obvious about it, but the intention is the same - manipulation & upset people.
This two part series was phenomenal! Thank you 🖤
Female disrespect happens over a thousand cuts. It is up to the man to have firm boundaries and enforce them without exception at all times. All that just to be not disrespected. To be genuinely respected for everything a man brings to a relationship will a topic for another time. Maybe Doc PyscHacks can do one soon ?
Yes.. Disrespect is a slippery slope.. it happens gradually & if not nipped in the bud, will lead to the distraction of the relationship.
I see a PsychHacks video, I put a like!
This is 100% common sense to any man.
If you are a woman, and you want a peaceful relationship, follow Dr. Orion's advice.
If you want war, or want to end the relationship..... do the opposite. Your choice.
Warning, if you start the war.... the other person may decide to not end it..... ever.
😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆
Sukkel
My ex had major trust issues... to the point she accused me of cheating for several days when I changed the scent of my deoderant to Old Spice original from SpeedStick Sport and she mistook it for a woman's perfume. She felt like an ass when she was standing next to me one morning and got a whiff of the scent as I was putting on my deorderant and finally made the connection.
A few years later, she falsely accused me again because I was working a lot of overtime to buy her an engagement ring, which I had planned to give her on Christmas Eve. She could have easily dropped into work and saw I was legitimately there and made some excuse for why she came to see me, but I guess she was too stupid for that.
My own stupidity was when she made the accusation, I gave her the ring to prove I wasn't cheating. Had I been smart, I would have just shown her the ring then threw her out and saved it for someone who actually deserved it. At least she still felt like an idiot when I showed her the ring, but in hindsight I could have saved myself an extra 14 years of BS that I only saw after we finally split up.
We're all gonna make it brahs
🙂
articulate, and always an inspiration. thank you dr orion
I was with a woman for a few years who definitely did these things to me. It may have been unintentional at the beginning, but it was definitely on purpose by the end. I started watching these two videos to see what boxes her behavior checked off, and it was all of them. I took too long to leave that relationship, but I definitely don't regret doing so.
As a women, after hearing this podcast I see I’m guilty of some of these things and didn’t realize it. I will be working on being aware and turning it around, I want an equal relationship with my partner. Thank you for the insight. I just found this site and have listened to several podcast and I have to admit it has been spot on. Too many of us have an image of ourselves that is distorted because of our conditioning and are afraid of our own truths.
Honesty is always the best way forward to a successful life. Thank you for sharing
Appreciate you highlighting these things ❤
I have been in both types of relationships. You don't realize how destructive these little amounts of disrespect become over time. It got to a point where whenever I expressed any opinion on anything, I was "mansplaining", however, I was expected to listen to her endlessly drone on and on about her problems.
I'm now in a relationship where she absolutely respects my authority and hardly questions anything I say unless it is really necessary. Everything is just so much easier for the both of us.
Ignorance is bliss until you're not longer ignoratnt... than you realize how dreadfully brutal everything's been all along.
If a woman was more intelligent than a man, she wouldn't need to get "mansplained". It's for her own good, ;).
Thanks for sharing this. It would be so good to see this becoming the norm again in relationships. The man is the natural leader. The world would truly be a better place. Women are for the most part not designed to lead and make the hard decisions - we can do it sometimes if we have to but it's not our natural role.
I love it. PEQS, pronounced pukes! Lol granting permission, demanding explanations, inappropriate questioning, and infantilizing surveillance.
This hits the mark much better then Kevin Samuels SIGNs, shame insult guilt and need to be right.
In a relationship where your survival is dependent on another person’s decisions/actions, you must be willing to communicate. Because most people aren’t mind readers, questions are necessary to learn, understand, and grow with each other. If you have to walk on eggshells to ask a question about something that affects your life, that’s a major red flag.
You're here arguing against psychology. What you choose to see it as, is irrelevant. It is what it is
Thank you 💕 He was trying to explain this and I didn't understand. He mentioned your vid, and I asked for the link. Now I understand what he was saying, and I'm so relieved, because now I know, I can do something about it. Thank you💕
You are correct women disrespect men, have seen it so many times.
Feminism created these protections for women. Great video!
Protect this guy at all costs.
Words of wisdom thank you Orion for sharing.
We heard all the criticisms of "machismo" since the '70s, but I was given a brief explanation about Latin culture where, as Rollo puts it "she doesn't want a man who cheats, but who could cheat." She receives validation from the attractiveness of her man in the society at large, as well from other women. The example given was the alternative: Two ladies chatting over the backyard clothesline: "Is Juan enough of a man for you?" said or implied in several ways, if he is not somewhat flirtatious or popular in the social realm.
After all, as he is head of the family, her children will advance in society due in large part to his status and power. She maintains the domestic image and NEVER criticizes him outside the home, though he may receive both barrels of Latina passion on occasion in private. ("Amused Mastery" is the proper attitude when this happens.)
I believe at 31 I just begun to see things just the way they are by nature and not by society standards.
Thanks a lot! 😊
Me too and I’m 64 with a degree in counseling lol
Deadly accurate! Love love your content!
Fantastic follow-up to your first episode on this subject!
Can I just appreciate the art of the Thumbnail? Like... GOODAMN ITS GOOD!
I just realised I was ebing disrespectful to people I was in a relationship with (but they provoked me 😂) on a serious note though I saw how my mother was very respectful to my father and her own mother to her husband. I can see that I have not been good and I was too entiteled. Now I know what not to do.
Sure. But ask yourself, did your parents actually like each other? If you are disrespecting your guy, you may not actually like him and should move on.
The best. My favorite so far.
Great advice. Thanks❤
On the flipside, if a man acts disrespectfully, it is better for a woman to ignore him, gracefully decline if he advances. If he is not respectable in your eyes, either he will disappear or work to be more respectable.
Incorrect. A woman should not be respected. Actually the worse you treat a woman the better her compliance.
@@charlesfinnegan7930yes... treat women poorly bulids their discernment muscle 4:18
@@charlesfinnegan7930 I'm sure the women are lining up to be with you.
@@charlesfinnegan7930 I have dropped a dude immediately for doing that. It's not attractive by any means. A man is gonna be respectful to me or else. A man doesn't have to be a woman's lapdog, but he is to respect her. Compliance? A woman is far from being inferior to man and has no business being "compliant" to him. I'm glad you wrote that so I can show my girlies what kind of a*holes there are in the world.
Women expressing disrespect probably disrespect themselves. They don’t see their own value/worth and have learned helplessness around communicating their wants and needs in a positive and proactive way.
Bingo. Recently broke up with a woman. Much of her outward behavior was a projection of her own deep insecurities. I'll never date a woman like her again, unfortunately she turned out to be a disgusting mess of a person on the inside once the mask fell off.
We're listening. Thanks for unraveling these knots.
I watched both of your videos and took them to heart. I realize now the disrespect I've shown my boyfriend is a definite reason for break up, but he's stuck with me. He recommended your channel to me and I will be changing my ways of treating him and any man. Thank you again!!!!
A spouse can really say something that sticks for long time and changes the relationship.
I’ve heard multiple sentences like of this sort and it diminished the relationship.
The worst thing is I don’t feel there is any point bringing it up. It wasn’t my spouse mistake, it was an actual value-based opinion.
Now I avoid brining the parts that my spouse complained about. Now there is very little that I value that I can bring, share and enjoy.
Great Content 💯⭐️
I kinda like this channel. Its teaching me what to do for the good ones and also how to put down the ones who come to try to play with me. Thanks for the insight.
I see these patterns and tendencies within myself… I see it affecting my relationship and I have no one to blame but me. Thank you for this wake up call and helping me in choosing another path.
Again Thank you for this video…
I am so lucky and blessed to have a man who has worked with me and has continuing to work with me. Thank you for explaining disrespect from a man’s point of view in a way that can be understood by women.
Women choose men that are better than them. And yet, once they snag the guys, they think they're suddenly on the same level. That in itself is disrespectful, because men have to earn their station.
Female ego destroys them
I broke up with my fiancé just because of her total disrespect. Btw, when she left she was totally convinced that at the end, it’s all my fault. 😂😂😂
Let her enjoy that thought.
It's deflection to avoid accountability. Disrespectful women know what they are doing is wrong, but they don't know any other way than to sabotage a relationship in the attempt to seize power and control of the relationship.
Another excellent video! Thanks!
Excellent work!
Re: inappropriate teasing. Anyone ever end up in a relationship that starts with some awkward ball busting (from both the m and w) as kind of a flirty ice/ tension breaker? Ever stay in the relationship long enough to see that teasing morph into straight up verbal and psychological abuse and public humiliation? I let that happen to me once. ONCE
That's what birds do. Insecure people do this because the space in the skull is dead air. All they know how to do is drop disses, swear, get semen, steal money, heckle, and lie. That's it.
What you say is very uncomfortable to know as a woman, but deep down I know it's true
Thank you for your service sir!
Outstanding set of video's.
My rule of thumb in relationships with men (and other relationships, for example, family, friends, co-workers, etc.) is, to give the same respect I demand for myself.
You don't demand respect, you earn it. Get it together.
Thanks!
Great video. True - we treat our bosses and coworkers with more respect than our men….
In women’s defense, men have an almost instinctive understanding of power flow, but we have to learn it. If someone were to ask me questions about what my reasoning is about something I do, it wouldn’t even register on my radar as being a power grab. It would mean to me an opportunity for a conversation. But I surely know not to ask that of other people, most especially men. I had to consciously learn it.
I think it depends on the attitude. If asked with curiosity it should be a good thing for communication
It’s been a long while since I pursued women romantically. Seems like I’m missing out on a small quantity of good stuff and a massive heap of headaches and frustration.
It only gets worse. Give it a few more year and no one is going to marry. it will allbe just sex
Teasing isn't something one would do with one's equals? That seems a little absurd. Personally, I think the only time teasing is OK is with one's equals. When there is a power disparity at play, teasing gets more dangerous. Honestly, there's always a little danger involved, but demonstrating that we know how to navigate a little danger with skill is one way we demonstrate that we are socially well adjusted, which is something we need to be able to demonstrate.
Certainly, a lot of women (and even some men) don't know how to tease playfully, and can get hurtful. (Perhaps the implication of them being hurtful is that they think they are in a position of power where they can get away with it, however, I think that unless she is a psychopath or borderline, it is much more likely that she is simply socially maladjusted, which is reason enough to avoid her.)
Always worth considering
Tough to consider what the tip should be when the information is priceless.
Thanks for the great work, Orion.
I happen to be going through a divorce at the moment so a tip isn’t necessarily in the cards at the moment but I’ll be back on my game soon enough!
Wants and desires outside of her own is a problem for her. She will say anything to get rid of them
I like the "ladies, would you say this to your boss?" analogy, but I think even "ladies, would you say this to a coworker?" would be an improvement for many women.
The “would you say this to your boss” analogy is DEAD WRONG. Unless you think the woman is the man’s employee-which is NOT the kind of relationship most women want!
The coworker part yesss😂
This is completely spot on
I wholeheartedly agree with that teasing and sarcasm part.