A common refrain that I hear in my consultations with women is a disinterest in performing "low-value" work in their relationships. This can include things like cooking, cleaning, and (in some cases) sex. They often believe that doing this work makes them a "maid" or a "mommy" (or a "sex worker"), and that they would prefer to be utilized in a "higher-value" capacity. To save women the trouble, I decided to make an episode on my general response to this complaint. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ruclips.net/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/видео.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
Well there’s an insight into how men think. Why would anyone want to be tied to that! I would hope that men with money have more insight into love and relationships and human needs and emotions.
If they don’t want to have sex with their man, especially in the “honeymoon phase” they don’t like him. The first six months should be like a competition between the two of you who can get their pants off first after a date. When you love someone you BOTH should want to make each others life better in whatever way you can (cooking, cleaning, hugs, and emotional support). Men and women should marry for love and respect or it’s not worth any amount of “high value” anything and your kids will end up in a broken home, or worse yet with two parents that hate each other.
One of my sisters is married to a wealthy man. The other sister doesn't understand why she's so agreeable with him and doesn't push back all the time on child rearing and some chores. I told her he gives her the life she wants and she gives him peace, that is the deal.
I overheard a conversation between two young adults that stuck with me. The girl: I’m going to marry a rich doctor so I don’t have to work. The boy: That doesn’t make sense because you don’t like to do domestic stuff and you don’t like kids. The girl: We will just hire a maid. The boy: Why would your husband want you around when you don’t do anything? Why not marry the maid? The girl: The maid is ugly, I’m attractive. The boy: Well, good luck because if I was the rich doctor, I would just marry the maid.
I'm a 40 year old single mother who worked at a grocery store, and this is how I married a man who makes 6 figures and owns a home. He goes to work, and when he comes home, I make certain that it's a place he looks forward to being. No fights, no demands, just peace and sex. When he's home, I wait on him and do everything I can to make sure he is comfortable and feels loved. He tells me all the time he believes he's the one who lucked out
My wife does all of the cooking and most of the house cleaning. This is not because it's beneath me; in fact, I respect her ability to power through tedious stuff without becoming distracted. She gets it done faster than I can. But the real reason why she'll do it is because I have other chores to do, like fixing things and doing much of the (heavier) outside work. She tries to give me rest when I need it. The secret to a relationship is learning to find, and then work with, each other's strengths and weaknesses. Balance and respect. And of course, I _do_ help when things get piled up, and sometimes we help each other on a project. No entirely one-sided relationship will last.
@@pocket83squared I can't ask my wife to help me on any project... we end up having sex and the project stays unfinished. We're married for 16 years and we're not that young anymore but what can I do?
It's amazing you can see it as common sense. I know too few women that don't go off the rails nuts just at the idea a man isnt a woman and doesnt value the same things.
Some women feel offended by Dr. Taraban, but I'm grateful to have the opportunity to hear some men's point of view. These are thoughts and reflections that not everyone will have the courage or even interest in telling us. This channel is a gem.
@@Toomuch_xanOh sorry. I didn't understand your question. English is not my mother tongue. I'm not American 😅 If Desi means something related to India...No... I'm Brazilian, granddaughter of Japanese immigrants.
Except we know what we want from women and they utterly fail to recognize what is attractive to them. Hint: it is neither patience, attentivness or emotional openess.
My grandma always told me the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Last night I made fresh naan, chicken shawarma, tzatziki, fresh veggies. The night before Korean style hot pot with cucumber salad. My man ain't going nowhere. And doing the dishes doesn't take long at all. I run the dishwasher every two days and we have a Roomba. I make the dishes he likes exactly the way he likes it. He isn't even aware how he likes his dishes and likely couldn't even get it at a restaurant. He makes more money than I do, so much so, I get to spend my money on clothes and random stuff. But in return, I take care of him so well he will never find greater comfort than at home. I don't know why women are against cooking, we all gotta eat. And eating takeout every day is very unhealthy. At max, I spend 2 hours in the kitchen a day. 1 hour if it's football night and all I'm doing is airfrying some wings and fries. The doc is right, this is an opportunity not servitude.
It's sad that this ultra basic common sense, is considered rare and admirable today. If women had basic empathy and psychology education, they would just care about fulfilling good men's basic needs. Cause such a good man, would dedicate his life to you. If of course you wasted that energy on a broken man, you would never get return for your investments
Relationships can be difficult if you can't take some more problems in your life with the belief that it will be worth it, you should stay single so no one bothers you with those pesky problems.
So many times I've heard women ask "where are all the good men", and I always give the same answer: "They're with the good women." They very rarely get my meaning.
Thank you! Your channel has acted like a catalyst for me to get back into the marketplace. I recently lost my significant other and after fully mourning her I wanted strategies for when I started dating again. The algorithm put me on to you, and it has been a great fit. I knew a lot of the techniques you talk about from working as a mental health skills trainer but how you put it together has been of great value to me. Thank you.
He does do that well, explaining things. However, the old meme comes to mind: "I can explain it to you, but I cannot make you understand it." Unfortunately, that applies to most western women today.
I thought about what you just said and it hit me. Non-Western women, say a Filipina for instance, do not have this explained to them, it is SHOWN to them by their mothers and grand mothers and aunts and older sisters from early childhood. I think the crisis we face in the West stems from the broken chain we experienced during the 2nd wave. @@cniht
Wow. I've never even heard my own thoughts about ""what am I getting in return for increasing your quality of life dramatically" put so well! Thank you.
This is exactly why we make our own money now😂 and y’all are crying on the internet about it. You guys prove why women have to have their own money. Why women had to fight for independence. You want a maid and a sec worker whom you never have to respect. Just hold out for your ai sexbots we don’t want the slave/ sex servant position. Facts are 99% of you can’t offer a salary worth even considering it. Then again how much is your dignity worth.
Transactional relationships ..This is the exact question women are asking themselves and we’ve decided a lot of y’all don’t qualify and we need to start doubling the price. Now you need more than just money honey.
This is why American and European men fall in love with Latinas so fast, because Latinas get this from an early age. As a man it’s literally the most satisfying thing to see how a feminine woman behaves and just makes you be the most masculine version you can be - it’s like magic.
@adventureelliot, I used to pedestalize Latinas too, dated them exclusively for 6 years. Trust me, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.
@@ITR1329 depends where you meet them… I live in Spain so the Latina immigrants that come here are usually a bit better off/more educated and we share the fruits of Europe together but they still are Latina and prefer a traditional man.
Funny how women don't seem to realize that it never increases their value how successful they are with their jobs. Actually it's just the exact opposite; more succesful she is, less value she has as a partner. No man who is not a SIMP is interested in woman who is too much dedicated to her work. Man needs a woman who is dedicated to his man and her family, and nothing else.
I would compare women who put out easily, expecting Chad to commit afterward as "fast food", equivalent to a quick lay. Even high-value men sometimes eat fast food but only a low-value man would commit to a fast food restaurant.
@@Remember-Death -- it is the narcissim and feminism that prevent modern women to fail to understand the basic intuitive things that traditional women knew.
Whole generations of men and women have been told lies about how relationships work, forcing an unrealistic, impossible fantasy world driven solely by material comforts and self centered-ness.
Marriage is formalizing a mutually beneficial arrangement. And yes, that does include material comforts. But I agree, there's more to it than that. My own experience is that (most) women want safety. And (most) men want a safe harbor. What safety or safe harbor look like can vary from person to person; the trick is to find a matching pair.
A wealthy guy would pay her their bills if she is his wife, that’s a good enough reason for me. Plus Dubai is full wealthy men paying the bills of women who are not their wives.
@@elenah1384 Those ladies are providing sex lol. Actually cheaper to pay for sex then to marry these days. Once married sex goes out the window. Bait and switch.
The perfect wife: "She is like a mother in the kitchen, a maid in keeping the house clean, a minister when asked for advice, a lady in public, and a harlot in the bedroom. " Indian proverb. A man is willing to die to protect such a valuable jewel of a wife.
@@mayluz444 👎 You may be surpzied to know that while females control access to sex, it is men who control access to relationships. Just because they sleep with you doesn't mean they want to marry you. Why is that? You don't meet THEIR standards.
@@elyse3332 oh dear, you will be burned out if you try to be one. Even as a child i felt how unfair to put so much expectation on one person. Such a misgynoistic quote in some scriptures
It’s shocking how Women's Magic Truths isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
Dude you're obviously AI so why don't you read it for me? Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I expect a full summary here in the comments immediately.
My girlfriend at the time said marry me or I am out. She had no job, no land, no savings. I had acerage, big house, sports cars, good job. I thought she would make a good mother. 8 years later, she divorced and took everything using the divorce court system. I slept in my car. My suggestion to young men, only marry a woman with similar resources, get a pre nup, keep money out of your marriage for back up. Never completely trust anyone with your life savings. The risk is too high.
You bet man. Yes prenups work depending on state and your draft. I was there once and thankfully her atty blew her out?? yup she kept ripping on the guy and complaining. YES, in court she tried to hire my attorney on the spot, crazy. Also funny I had a female atty. Her craziness cost her big. Bullet dodged...
Thanks! What a terrific video. It is about time, effort or money, and as the other partner you need to see what can you contribute to make things better to justify and validate your presence in the relationship.
That restaurant analogy was just brilliant. I love analogies and that one did exactly what an analogy is supposed to do: make it easier for the listener to get to the 'aha' moment.
It's not brilliant. It's a falacy. Women don't serve a "a basic service " (water=clean=cook). Orion himself knows it's not a moral obligation for women to be domestic. So the analogy doesn't work
What you have described is exactly what my mother did after she married my father. She kept working for a couple more years after they married before she quit her job (she was making as much as my father) and they decided to have me. I once asked her a few years ago if it was worth it, quitting her job to become a housewife and mother. She smiled and told me that if she had another chance, she would make the very same decisions she made all those years ago.
I asked my mom the same thing, and got the same answer. After my youngest sibling was old enough to see after himself, she went back to work. She retired as dad did, he was 65, she 59. They had a very happy retirement until she passed at 77.
My wife does everything mentioned and does them well. She makes our home orderly, beautiful, and a place everyone we know loves to visit. I appreciate her so much for this and understand how uniquely valuable she is. There is no way I could live anything close to the happy, productive, and fulfilled lifestyle I have without her. And that's why she will NEVER want for anything, ever. She will be cared for, protected, provided for and lavished with love, affection, and yes, material things, even though she does not care so much about those things.
What a great analogy regarding water and the restaurant. You eloquently described how the reservations some women have to do simple things with enthusiasm because it is 'beneath them' is a massive deterrent. Their self-evaluated worth deeming them 'too good' to do this makes them less of a good candidate. Also, really liked the comparison to marketing to see things from the client's perspective. I find that's something people don't really do or grasp much these days (even in marketing, somehow). Great vid.
Well I'm a married woman who meal preps for my family. Baking tray of 6-8 chicken breasts, seasoned. Large batch of steamed broccoli, lightly seasoned. Then you can make the rice or potatoes everyday for freshness. I also add curry chickpeas in large batches. For breakfast Eggs , Whole loaded oatmeal with fruits and seeds. Some of the prepped broccoli. For cleaning: Declutter the whole house. Streamline all your big areas of activity aka the kitchen. Tidy up Mon Wed Fri. Deep clean Friday so you can have a nice weekend where you'll be at home the most. Slob on the weekends brings the vibes down.
I'm a divorced bachelor and honestly I don't find cleaning (mostly kitchen/bathroom) all that exciting. For the low cost of $70/month, I have a maid come in and do that for me. If you have more foot traffic or humans, maybe you'll need it twice a month. For the cost of a cable bill, I find it well worth it. She takes maybe 2.5 hours.
I’ve known several couples who have taken the “economically equal” approach to their relationship, and they made themselves slaves to a never ending barter system. They count every dollar they “put in” to the “family” account, and every dollar the other person failed to put in.
I'm a libertarian type person, and I find that a lot of people are offended by what they call the boiling down of all human interactions into market transactions between two opposing sides with each side seeking the maximum benefit for himself at the expense of the other. But that IS all it boils down to, when it comes to STRANGERS. I'm niave, but I think relationships should be about love and caring and what leftists think should be at the core of economic relationships between market participants. I love this channel, every video is an eye-opener but on some level listening to this depresses me because it describes people approaching relationships and bargaining with a "what's in it for me" attitude. When you fall in love, you think in terms giving and not getting. All of this talk about who is high value, who is going to do what work and who makes the most money is repugnant to me.
The same thing can happen when one works and the other takes care of the home. The husband may feel that he "busts his ass" while the wife "sits at home".
@jameskamotho7513 I guess so. Like I said maybe I'm naive but I'd like to rewrite the book on relationships, at least for me. If it's not about love, then what's the point? It's a cold business transaction. No wonder so many relationships fail.
Hi Orion. Great analysis. The ever-present danger for the high-value guy is that his initially "agreeable" high-value wife can bide her time, divorce him after several years of marriage, and walk away with both most of his wealth and the right to enjoy it any way she chooses. For most western men today, skydiving with parachutes made in Bangladesh holds fewer risks than marriage.
Exactly, they are agreeable, until one night out of nothing they decide that they don't like the high-end restaurant that you selected, or something equally ridiculous, and proceed to give you the cold shoulder and start shopping for a cheap divorce lawyer.
Getting married without a prenup is worse odds than Russian roulette. And even with a prenup, it's a gamble. She _must_ have her own lawyer, and the agreement has to be reasonable (e.g. you can't just give her a hundred bucks if there's a divorce). Then budget some more money if, five years down the road, she decides to get another lawyer to try to break it.
IF you want to understand women and avoid ending up with the wrong one please read " The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar". this book was written by a women about women.
Agreed! A must read book for all men. I’d also highly recommend Practical Female Psychology For The Practical Man by Franco, JWS, & Dave Claire. And Women‘s Infidelity 1 & 2 by Michelle Langley.
Good Read; I would add in 2 books that I don't see listed in prior comments - _No More Mr. Nice Guy_ by Dr. Robert Glover, and _The Beta Male Revolution_ by Alan Roger Currie.
The problem started right from the very start. After years of self interested actions not realizing the impact on their SMV, they finally decide “I want to settle down and I want a family.” This notion is entirely self interested as well. You have to meet someone, love them, and have a family together. If it’s in a “I want notion” then the relationship and family dynamic will inevitably fall apart. You have to want a family with that person. Not that just you and want a family
What do you mean by SMV? Given the context I am thinking it has something to do with their marriage value because of their past. Is that what you are referring to? Thanks!
Yes, this fits my experience. Married 20+ years and a therapist. Educated modern women don’t really understand value. I built with my husband. Cooked and cleaned. Became agreeable. Had children and raised them well.
@user-ro5tn3zt1d 14 is too young to be bitter forever. Bitterness for a while is perhaps the norm in life; it comes and goes. But don't let either disagreeable people or people who would like to convince you everyone's disagreeable(they're often the same people) persuade you that there are no good and kind people out there looking for other good and kind people, or that the proportion is too small to consider above effectively zero. And while child-rearing at its best requires considerable time away from the working world, it doesn't mean that situation is permanent. My own mother didn't graduate high school, spend decades raising children(she was a foster mother, too), then got a master's degree when they flew the coop and worked for decades more at a good salary. There are many middle-aged and older women in the work force. I know nurses working into their 70's and 80's, and private therapists who can work out of their homes often simply don't retire at all because they enjoy their work, feel it is valuable, and the physical demands are almost non-existent. The world is not so small as you think it is so far.
@user-ro5tn3zt1d I completely agree with you. Working = Freedom. A woman has to keep developing her mind and her ability to work and survive in this world.
Exactly. Most abusive men are psychopaths. They start nice and many only change after a long time. There is no guarantee. What about divorce, cheating, death? How can anybody prevent that?
I'm in my 60's now, but all my life I worked as an industrial millwright and a heavy equipment mechanic, I owned a home free and clear by my late 20's. I fix everything at my home, and the cars and trucks. Because I've helped a lot of people get their plant, or their equipment running when they were in a pinch I've always gotten lots of stuff for free or way deep discounts. Like free or maybe $1,000 10 year old cars. I think one time I went for 5 years without paying a penny for heating oil. I've worked in all kinds of weather. Now in just about every relationship I've been in I hear BS like I need to do more cleaning around the house,,,,, 50-50 bla bla bla.. The women at best have a part time job in a heated, air conditioned , clean environment. I come home with cuts, burns, and covered in grease and oil every day. If I ask them to do something I hear "I work too".
But Sammy, it is even funnier than that! Because women actually SHOULD hate to consider anyone other than themselves. Because in reality, everyone wants what’s best for themselves. But the point in this video is that by doing stuff they don’t like plus doing all the things the man wants, actually makes the women get EVERYTHING they want. They get happiness, family, being taken care of, plus in the west they even get a boat load of money in the divorce. So having an attitude, and not caring about what the man wants, is actually not caring about themselves. But most women don’t think that far ahead, they want it all and they want it now, and sadly there are simps who still provide that. But simps are quickly going away thanks to videos like this one.
@@michelstronguin6974 Yeah I understand all that perfectly. It's essentially just the: instant gratification vs deferred gratification lesson repackaged. Nothing new under the sun.
Be very glad if they reveal this in dating. Some are sophisticated enough to keep this secret until after they have their state issued business contract euphemistically called ‘marriage.’
The funny thing is, it’s not that they don’t know how to sell their “product” or services. We see it all the time across the digital marketplace that is the internet. Traffic to their business so to speak may be flooded, but they just can’t seem to convert those upscale clients into investors/benefactors. They’re hustling backwards, acquiring skills (and debt) to be good laborers in the work force, but those skills just don’t translate to being a wife, mother, and helpmeet to a provider male. That’s what upsets them.
I love this advice but I think it needs to be emphasized to the men that this dynamic only applies to those who are successful relative to the women who are interested in them. If you have no job, no ambition and no plan to progress in your standings, please do not go around demanding "obedience and agreeableness" from anyone.
You're spot on, but the paradox is that a lot of women enthusiastically sleep with men with no ambition who are sexually compelling in part because they do demand obedience.
It's embarrassing how many men don't make enough to enable a woman to keep house and raise children comfortably without her financial contributions, yet demand behavior as if they are the highest earning men. And it never seems to be the actual highest-earning men who are the loudest in their demands for obedience and agreeableness.
As usual, excellent presentation. As an octogenarian, I still find your videos very interesting. And, I do agree with your views and comments about 98% of the time. That sounds like an A+.
4:12 "The only way that you're going to get what you want is by providing something I don't already have. The more I have, the harder that's going to be." 6:09 "The most dangerous man for a woman, is the man who has everything. Because if he has everything, he doesn't need you for anything." If you are a man who may even have little in life, but have an abundance mindset and feel fulfilled and happy in life without wanting more, it would make it practically impossible for a woman to provide something of value to a man.
Well every human has inner capability to become happy without external factor, it is not gender based. Just look at nuns and unmarried priest. Their happiness stem from their internal relationship with God. However receiving anything by paying is not as fulfilling as getting them unconditionally by love.
I have an MBA and a corporate job which I love. I cook, clean, sew, do DIY home stuff. My husband has a double Master's degree & a corporate job. He also vacuums, does laundry and washes up. We work together to balance the necessary housework. We treat each other with appreciation, love and respect. We consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have a balanced, peaceful life where we support each other and attack any problem instead of attacking each other.
Love the comment on Michelin restaurant experience. My husband always compliments me because of the LOVE I put into keeping our home and being a mother. Ladies, there is nothing better than taking care of your family. So many younger women want the lifestyle with no obligations or responsibility and they wonder why they are not happy or can’t find a man.🤔
Married 19 years and I feel the same way about my wife. I have a great career in engineering that affords my family a wonderful lifestyle but her efforts at home are the most important. Trust me, your husband means every word.
@@EC-yl7xk - It sounds equally insane when you say a woman can do it as if a man said he's going to stay single, hire a surrogate and a live in nanny, and call that a healthy family dynamic... If your answer is deliberate single-parenthood, then you shouldn't be a parent.
Indeed! My mom ran for the hills when I was two, and as an attractive female I have never understood the dynamic of relationships! It took a very long time to realize why I had so many offers of dates; guys thought I was flirting with them when I just treated them like my dad, brother, and male cousins. Now I’m 43 and happily single, glad that I don’t have to think about having children in any potential relationship that may come, unless they’re adopted or grandchildren!
I worked in a restaurant which asked me to always upsell customers to bottled water, coaching me to deliberately misinterpret any request for water as a chance to get an extra five dollars. That didn't go over so well even (or especially) with our old-money customers, who could pretty easily see through what the managers were trying to do. This was the early 90s, and I like the analogy you have drawn with some of the ideas about "equality" in dating I picked up around the same time. Both represent a very simplistic understanding of how people with choices behave over repeated interaction, short term gains which degrade repeat business, and probably only make sense in a bourgeois classroom about "management techniques" or "women's studies." Thanks to your transparent presentation I think I understand my life in restaurants in the 90s in, both as a waiter and as a (low-salary) man taking women on dates, a lot better.
Alacrity, not a word i hear useda lot. 1. Liveliness; briskness; sprightliness. 2. Cheerful readiness or promptitude; cheerful willingness. Loved your video and your choice of words! Thank you!
He makes some good points in this video. I was never interested in this dynamic so I never got married nor had children. I do wish the spiritual aspects of a partnership/relationship/marriage were discussed more often. I worked in U.S. healthcare for 20 years in hospitals, schools, and nursing homes. I saw a lot of trauma in the hospitals and nursing homes. I know life can change quickly and unexpectedly. If I was ever with anyone, I'd like to know that person had my back (and vice versa). The cooking and cleaning can be worked out. A true partner/husband/wife is hard to find.
Thank you for your comment. I agree. It really has to be a team effort over the long haul. The stuff discussed in this video is important but the way he presents everything is transactional. I've seen transactional relationships and I know I don't want to be in one. I'd rather be by myself or with someone who truly has my back. (And of course, I will have that's person's back in return.)@Poodle_Gun
that is something that this video seems to have missed, a glaring omission. Being in love with a person is hard to convey in just a few words but goodness, if you absolutely ADORE someone and are compatible with them it's such a beautiful thing. He's talking about relationships like they are nothing more than a business transaction
My most recent ex of 3.5 years who is now 36 and I’m 37 couldn’t understand this. I have a 14 year old daughter that I have custody of. My ex came into my world knowing I wanted a mother figure for my daughter and knew that I wanted to have a family. Anytime I expressed my desire for her to be more helpful around the home she would say “you just want someone to cook and clean for you. You don’t care about me.” Or if I asked her to help with my daughter by taking her to school or something like that, she would say it didn’t make sense for her to have to wake up early just to take her to school. She would have a day off or she started her work day 3-4 hrs later than I did (she was a waitress and I a government contractor) but would say it made no sense for her to get up and take my daughter to school if I was already up. She couldn’t understand the importance of spending time like that with a child and also lightening my life by taking on some responsibilities. She even went as far to say “She’s your responsibility.” I’m a successful man that makes considerably more money than her. I stay in really good shape, a lot of women find me attractive, I’m outgoing, don’t cheat, don’t have a drinking or drug problem, I know how to cook, take care of everything in my home, can fix anything in a home or on a car, play sports, etc etc. She was clearly drawn to me because of these things, but she was unwilling to do anything for me because she felt like it was beneath her or I didn’t really care about her. That I just wanted a nanny/housemaid.
I remember my friend's mom would make these legendary Sunday brunches that were the envy of all our friend circle, and we'd all try to get invited over for it. It was immaculate. We appreciated her effort so much. They had cleaning services, and on occasion my friends dad cooked dinner, plus they went out often. The gave her the opportunity to be an artist with her meals and the style of the house.
@@onehtereproppper3697 yes most modern women are : if I have millions what to you bring to the table ? if you want to be a decoration , cool . But remember personal taste and styles change , so old decorations are garage sale material or thrown away sitting on the street corner waiting to be picked up . if you want a 50 / 50 arrangement , why would I want you ? Your not needed ( reverse of women's "I don't needed no man" ) If I want kids , for $150,000 or less , I can get a segregate to be the womb . Eggs are less than $20,000 . For most rich men this is cheaper than any divorce or "me too" crap
The agreeable obedience to benefit the man's life is spot on. My partner was not willing to be with me due to my hesitancy and thinking that he was trying to control me. Realized this after I matured a bit more and trying to work things out with him now.
And then there is the misconception that women tend to label themselves high value based on their own definition but it often doesn't translate to the same definition as men have for a high value woman.
They don't give a damn about the male definition. They can only solipsistically project their own desires. They are selling us images of Frankenstein men, instead of real feminine women
I'd say 50% of women can actually afford to see the world only from their own perspectives in their 20s, not so much when they grow older, but they carry the same thinking patterns and that's what gets them into troubles.
Especially in case of age. The sexual market place value for a 25 yo woman is not the same as for a 40 yo. Women must see that high value in looks and beauty is connected to youth and while doing career time is running and beauty is fading away.
get your children as young as possible, is my advice. There is nothing to wait for. You also won't miss any "great" career or traveling opportunities, you can easily get to that at 40+ with a lot more ease and superiority. Only thing to do at young age is to get some university diploma and 1-2 yrs of work experience. Message from a 52 yr old man ...
@@spxram4793 I’m actually prioritising that. I’ve been in the work force for 7 years already and am at executive level. It’s nice decoration and money but that’s all it is… hoping to get married and have my children before 30, and am luckily in a stable relationship moving in that direction
@@spxram4793 Strongly agree. My mother did just that. Plus, it's when you're young that you are most likely to conceive, and have a complication-free birth, and have a healthy child. Putting it off is constantly raising the stakes on yourself.
I have a colleague who I consider to be a high-value woman. In her early 30s, she is pretty, very intelligent and capable (PhD), whip-smart and quick in her thinking, happy and cheerful, happy to help, a great companion, vivacious, and basically a lovely person. Any thinking man would snap her up in a heartbeat. She's married to a man who is about the same age, also has a PhD, and is climbing the ladder in one of the largest US companies. He is a quiet and modest man who is very deferential to her career. She does all the cooking and they can afford the technology to do the necessary things like cleaning and facilitate cooking, but I can see how effective their partnership is. She could probably stop work and they would hardly notice the financial impact. But she is supporting his career first, without having a negative impact on hers. I think she's really got it right. They want children and it looks like they have set up their situation to start a family in the near future. Everything is looking very positive for them. He has a corporate career that allows him to work from home, and she has an academic career that gives her considerable time flexibility. They have a bright future.
A career woman can succeed in being a wife as long as she never ever prioritizes her career over her man. An exceptionally wise woman is able to remain submissive to her chosen man regardless of any implied or overt sense of power hierarchies that might be put upon them from the outside.
@@varmastiko2908 I'm not sure it's being submissive, although that has negative connotations, but more paying attention to priorities to have a successful life together, and that means thinking long term about everything. Interestingly, when my colleague came for her job interview, she brought her husband along, although he stayed in the hotel or did something else during the day, but we made sure that he was invited to dinner with us all that evening. He came along but was completely deferential to her once he had been introduced. He stayed in the background and only really answered direct questions, allowing her to shine. When I visited their home recently, he was still quiet, but rather more engaged. They seem to have things sorted out so that neither messes with the other's career, but still seem to have a happy life together.
Seems like that couple, have it right. Being a couple, takes thought, organization, work and love. If more couples would "try", we'd have a lot less unhappy people, regardless of their financial situation.
I do enjoy your take on things. I agree many women do overvalue what they are bringing to the table. Being agreeable obedient is not "lowering" yourself. It is simply making life sweeter for both of you. Win/win.
@@moytheboytech616 What an excellent new word. A great add'n to my vocabulary. Apparently, an "ink well" word, meaning "uncountable". Coined by John Koenig, creator of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Thx, Moy.
So, I suspect that the women who would take this advice, given their initial resistance, would do so only in the short term, as a way of baiting the trap. Once the bait is taken and the deal is sealed, the gradual evolution toward flipping the script would begin. Complaining about the tasks, followed by lots of discussions involving phrases such as "share of the household chores" and "share of the work", with a clearly lopsided list, which includes only those things that she is doing as "the work", to be divided. Ultimately, these women create the circumstances that necessitate the great majority of this work, while resenting any expectation that they actually do any of it. As you said, it doesn't take much effort to stay single and just take care of your responsibilities, but it is absolute misery to let someone into your life that's going to complain about and resent every little task and responsibility that arises.
I can see why men go to other countries to find women now. They're just so damn happy to be in the USA and happy to be a captive audience to do the things they'd do in their home country anyway, but with clearly more 1st world benefits to boot. My brother is such a lucky person. He married somebody from Bulgaria and she wouldn't think of leaving (AFAIK).
One reason why I dont give detail when I step away from a relationship, women oftentimes hide those flaws instead on working on them, hence, tricking the next guy.
I've never understood why women call maintaining a household such a terrible burden. Do they ever think that a man may not want to go out and work every day? No, then take that entirely for granted, saying "that is a man's job," while what was once regarded as "a woman's job" is negotiable.
9:30 You're fundamentally mistaken in this. It's actually one of the hardest things they can do because they aren't programmed to care about a mans wants or needs. They believe he should exhibit zero wants and needs and attend to hers instead. Abundantly. This whole thing flounders once again on the men="human doing" principle. They don't see men as human beings, they have a perspective of entitlement to mens labour, sacrifice etc. You see it as "easy" because you're self-extrapolating and seeing it through the male lens of service. So you see it's actually enormously difficult for them. Otherwise they'd do it. Obviously. That's the cold, unpleasant and insoluble reality. Plus, the practical reality is women know they can offer zero value and men will still wife it up. Including high value men. You see it constantly. They know they can get a lot for not very much. Back to square one with this one I'm afraid.
Good points, but haven't women been doing it historically for a long time? So they are perfectly able to do it, but have been conditioned to object to the sacrifice?
@@okaySam I think it's probably more accurate to say that, historically, all people did what they had to do to survive. It was more necessary to their survival in the past. It isn't now. People tend to do what's easiest for them rather than what's 'best' for them. Particularly if what's 'best' for them is more difficult. The level of ability remains unchanged. It's the incentives (environmental factors) that have altered.
@@sammyb1651 partly agree. I still think saying it's "enormously difficult" for them is a bit much. I also think framing the historical lives of women as merely doing what's necessary to survive is a false feminist talking point.
It turns their stomach around to even imagine you struggling. They don't care about your blood, sweat, sleepless nights and sacrifices. They want a finished product. You have to provide her, protect her, satisfy her, accumulate experience, accumulate wisdom. And make it all seem effortless, like you didn't break a sweat, else it spoils her solipsistic fantasy for you the "male doing". They are way too neurotic and self absorbed to even contemplate you can have vulnerabilities. And you better not show them in front of her or a part or her hypergamous fantasy and "love" for you inside her, dies away... .
Been happily married to my wife for 25y. The golden rule I live by is this (and this goes for both MEN and WOMEN): Live your life every day so that you are extremely hard to replace. For men: 1) Be the best provider you can be 2) Take care of your family 3) Be a leader that is always present For women: 1) Keep yourself attractive - and provide regular sex. 2) Be obedient and take care of your family 3) Don't make life complicated for your husband.
I work with some very high paid women. Several of them have married men who are well below them in how much money they can make. However, these men are willing to take the lead on taking care of the home front, so they are of value to these women. So, it works both ways.
@@justincarr8411 LOL! One woman from the above group was making over $3 million a year before she retired. A lot of men have done a lot of cringe worthy things for a lot less money than that.
Non-Western women already know this through and through. I can't tell you how many female dating profiles in California say "I don't cook". It's a lost cause in the West imo.
The video was absolutely well put together. I like the bit about the high end restaurant serving ordinary things with enthusiasm and class. That was a clear, logical analogy. I also thought you were on point about egotism getting in the way. Man or woman, egotism is the self defeat of many, in some cases it kills. I just wanted to share, in addition, that something both men and women should remember is that your value is also contingent on what comes out of your mouth. Example, if a beautiful woman, well dressed, fit, attractive appearance ect. were to open her mouth and spout trashy sentiments and values, that would make her as appealing as a fermented diaper. Same goes for the men. If a person wants to get married they should consider what they can bring to the "table", not only "what's in it for me". I heard a quote in a show one time: " value receives value". Very true in more than one aspect
Excellent work. I like the culture you bring to the topic. I had a pastor that told me much of this in college and it saved me going after a highend proud girls I was chasing for 4 years. Instead I chose a real wife. Now... 28 years later we are still able to help eachother with sex, money, family and spiritual matters. Most of my college friends are divorced and both my wife and I still think we each got the better end of the covenant and wonder if we will tire of eachother. At present...Now when I get a chance to pastor young women who are friends of my daughters I tell them many of the same things your talking about. NONE have any interest and pity my poor wife while she tells them to grow up and follow her example. They think she's a slave so they settle for dysfunctional roles and exspections. High WANTS with little skills. 3 cheers from Alaska Fairbanks.
It’s honestly embarrassing that women need to be told these things in their 20’s, let alone their 30’s or 40’s. Expecting men to provide value to you without providing them any value yourself is like expecting your job to pay you your salary without having to work. How did we ever let our culture get to this point???
Male provider roles were seen as higher status than female family-raising roles. So "liberated" women wanted to work and/or were told and encouraged to work. Many are now finding that careers are not all they were cracked up to be. A better question is why does our society not value nurturing the next generation? You could objectively argue it's one of the most important roles out there. How many problems would be solved if everyone in the next two generations was raised carefully by two parents?
It's embarrasing that men still depend on a female to do domestic tasks. Being high value is knowing to survive without expecting cooking and cleaning from a partner. You should pay for that. Would be childlish to do otherwise. You can expect a team player, not a cleaning service
@@lauracolo06 so if I’m providing for you financially, is that not paying? It’s like this guy’s message goes in one ear and out the other with women like you. Why would I financially provide for a woman, and then pay for a maid. I’m better off just financially providing for the maid. Hopefully this knocks some common sense into you. For the record, becoming a doctor, lawyer, or successfully running your own business is worlds of difficulty greater than just cooking and cleaning around the house. The level of entitlement you have is truly disgusting. Please don’t reproduce, and if you do, put them up for adoption. Cooking and cleaning while your man provides financially for the whole house IS being a team player. The level of cognitive dissonance some women have is astonishing.
When I was a kid in the 80s, my father told me about one of his successful colleagues who was in a contractual relationship with a woman (not married - no govt.). This guy hit all the key metrics woman demand today. They had a contract which established division of all financial and other relationship related requirements (e.g. he paid the mortgage, she furnished the home; they each were responsible for their own vehicle, dinners, travel, etc.). This guy was way ahead of his time; it largely removes the biased third-party (govt). I wish this sort of relationship would become more common, but women are sold on fairy tales and worse.
@@LaitoChen That's the rub because it shifts the perception of the relationship to transactional, and with that, it likely removes any sense of loyalty. So you better have a loyalty clause too...lol.
There is no way this woman was young and/or had young kids. She had to be at least 40 or older & a career woman. Get a loyalty clause? How exactly are you gonna get a loyalty clause from someone who doesn't need you? Y'll want a woman that doesn't exist, but women are the ones sold a fairy tale 😂😂
This really needs to become the standard. Its not that hard to be fair in a relationship, marriage is not fair. Give the man the boys if the woman decides to go 304. We have way more time then they do. My dad had 4 wife. I will have 3. Most were not worth keeping.
This is so resonant and I think it speaks to a difference in traditional versus modern values. I am a woman in my mid 20s with a man about 15 years older. I chose him for many reasons -- personality, shared traditional values, looks, and success. He provides me a wonderful life so I can relax and focus on my passions, I am currently in school and building a startup. In return, I show him warmth, nurturing, and the obedient agreeableness you shared here. I am not perfect (can be a little crazy like all women), but I love loving him, cooking, baking, cleaning, and keeping a home. Why wouldn't I want to serve a man who cherishes and claims me?
This makes 100% sense to me and I'm 100% willing to give up my career to take care of a man. The issue is men who earn LESS than me who would still require me to work outside of the home are asking for this. Most men don't earn enough in this economy to have stay at home wives. So in this case I believe the "dark horse" strategy is best for most. Just make sure you pick well.
@@joecurran2811 Means early on in life, find a guy with POTENTIAL to win; and marry him and help him become successful; instead of waiting till you are 35, he's successful, and has an option to get a 25 year old trophy (since at 35 you offer him nothing useful in comparison) - that is, if he's even single and some OTHER woman didn't dark-horse-marry him earlier.
I had one woman try very hard to “integrate” herself into my life. We were barely dating, but she would come over and start doing shopping for me, cleaning, washing, even though I never asked or remotely suggested that is something I wanted. Maybe it’s because she wasn’t my type, but none those gestures really made any difference to me. I could do it all myself, faster, cheaper and better. I even found it annoying, for various reasons I won’t list. I know her current boyfriend from college, and the three of us went to the beach once. Afterwards, she was even changing his socks for him, as if he couldn’t do it himself. ☠️ I value slightly different things in a woman. I want us to be able to grow together, intellectually, travel a bit, eventually have a family. I would like her to at least contribute equally around the house without putting up any sort of attitude about it. And sure, sex is important too, but both people should enjoy it, not just one of us. It is far more important to me that I can trust her and not have to look over my shoulder to make sure some bs isn’t happening when I’m not around. Very few women or people in general inspire such trust from me.
Like one guy said about physical attraction. But that you where annoyed by this "start doing shopping for me, cleaning, washing" only really tell me you have nothing better to do. She can also still do that and still do this " grow together, intellectually, travel a bit, eventually have a family"
When I was young and broke, I married a broke guy with a huge debt. We worked hard and built a very prosperous life and a healthy family together. What I cherish the most about our marriage is that it still feels like being married to your best friend and our relationship never feels transactional and we are not like a fair weather friend to each other. We are unconditional in our love and dedication for one another. I think this kind of loyalty and commitment are more important than anything in marriage because us humans have no real control of what happens in our future. Just think about it. One unexpected car accident and you can become disabled or disfigured for life. Stay humble. Remember what would be most important in a world where everything that you are banking on (looks, money, abilities, etc) can change overnight. 💫
Finally, someone has very elegantly articulated what men, especially men of a certain value, expect from a women in a ltr. This is why I generally date younger and less successful women. The modern women, especially the more successful ones, are the least desirable for all of the reasons he has mentioned.
I’m 57 now and have a multimillion networth and currently a high 6 figure income. With that said I have a yard service, house keeper, accountant, pool service, and financial advisor. I don’t have anyone mess with my cloths so I do my own laundry. I also don’t cook and just eat prepared food and fruits and veggies etc. lunch is often provided at work for free. I already have 4 sons that are gown and one lives in my upstairs with his girlfriend. I don’t really feel the need to add a women to my life I don’t really need one for anything except maybe some companionship but it’s been my experience that what I want is companionship and what I end up getting is drama and chaos.
@@Mint-kj9kw exactly women add nothing to the equation. Anyone can do it, even someone poor like me. Do you have 4 children to carry on your genetics. I have 4 sons.
I think the thing that is missing from most discussions about marriage and family is just that: people who value marriage and family will tend to get married - and have family. People who are immature or don’t value marriage and family will come up with checklists about what the other person will provide for them, it’s a complete one-way fantasy. There’s no discussion of extended family, of heritage, of culture, of religion and so on. What values they as a family want to pass on. The focus is on deal making, which is a sure way for a woman eventually wanting a divorce. Men are often surprised, thinking- I’m satisfied with the deal, why is she suddenly wanting a divorce?? The answer is “the deal”. She has been depersonalized to an employee and is now quitting.
more often than not she was looking at HIM as an employee and is now firing him. very few marriages have this dynamic these days; so most devorces are more about the woman getting bored.
My mom taught me to be a feminine woman - to be affectionate, take care of him and our home, how to be a mom. Not to be a feminist. Actually, she said I should have my degree as a backup plan should the marriage not work. But my priority should be on marriage, my kids and home. Unfortunately, I married the wrong man! But taught my daughter the same and taught my son to look for this type of woman. I was shocked to realize how many women put career over their relationships.
@@ThePhabulousYvelise Sweetie....you can do both. Look at Sara Blakely....self made BILLIONAIRE....she is a boss babe....is adored by her husband...and has tons of children.
@ThePhabulousYvelise because prioritizing love is the riskier option and many women care less about it. reality is that if you want a successful career you should dedicate your life to it and after all that effort of course you wouldn't play role of a submissive obedient wife who prioritizes another person's convenience. also love gets boring very quickly and it is less fun. there is a good chance that you just end up with an asshole. what I don't understand is that why would many women care so much about having children. they don't worth it
Love the video. As a guy who already has his life together very well, you really hit the nail on the head for me. Also find it both funny and depressing so many women need it explained to them that they're supposed to bring value of some kind to the relationship... In my own LIVED EXPERIENCE, it is indeed very common to meet women who only ever thought of relationships in terms of what they want and what they can take from it. You're doing good work, Doc.
If the only value you are offering for a relationship with a wealthy man is sex, then you are looking for some variation of a prostitution job for a single man. If that is what you want, and you are great at that job (which is a TON of work, like always being in tip top shape) then more power to you - you will find someone. But I still think that most women will be happier in a partnership between equals, even if that destroys the dream of an "easy" life.
Thank-you for your honesty. Women have been encouraged for decades to downgrade domestic work and childcare in favor of a paying career. But being a mother is one of the most important jobs in the world, and the mom really needs to be present to nurture her kids properly. You can pay for help, but no one is going to love that child more than the true mom (in most cases). Domestic work and making a home beautiful, clean, and nurturing is an important task, so is cooking. If you have a great man, it is worth giving up all the corporate stresses and headaches to make a life with him. And I agree with you I think the problem is mostly ego.
The praising of oneself for giving to society what most men consider a huge bill (babies) is soooo over-done! WOMEN can be hired as help much cheaper than a wife. And mothers are priceless IF THEY ARE TRUE! Most mothers are not!!!! Hence, alllll the people in therapy, PEOPLE IN PRISON, men not wanting to go home and had rather be with a mistress…..women who gift the world from the most secure job in the world, the most over charged job in the world, the least managed job in the world-motherhood. This “gift” attitude gives narcissists a safe place to cloak themselves.
@@cakicklighter Your comment is valid. There is a big difference between a narcissistic woman and an empathic one. Narcissistic women don't really know how to (or can't) genuinely love others.
Excellent explanation of the situation. I don't think most guys even consider this, but they get the uneasy feeling that they're being screwed on her timeline.
You absolutely nailed it! I wish I could send this to my wife who moved out recently but she probably isn’t ready to hear it. Keep it up, I appreciate the honesty.
I was raised by the New Woman philosophy. When I married my husband, I was a terrible wife. But then I realized I married this man because I love him. Why not fix him a sandwich? I changed my mentality and became a good wife. He would tell me often that I was a good woman. He would brag about me to his friends. I fell so deeply in love with him when I changed how I treated him. ....and then he left me. He went into business with another woman and prioritized her relationship over mine. He has given her an enormous amount of money. And when I finally confronted him about it, he moved out and is continuing the business with her. She is 22. My heart is broken. We have been married for 13 years. He was my best friend. I just don't know what is happening. Its like he is not even the same person. 😢😢😢
sorry about that. conversations are important. maybe he liked being treated bad more than being treated good, thats why he married you. its a hypothesis
Just one sandwich? You said he was your best "friend". Do you have the best sex of your life wuth your "friend". Mind blowing sex was one of the Dr's points. Were you using sex as a 'treat' as one might when training a dog? I want to hear his side before making a judgement.
very good and funny. I am married to a finance lawyer and we are 2 guys. I do our property management in 2 countries, I provide iwht all the invisible service and organize people for the garden, repairs, auto maintenance, vet services, groceries, and yes cleaning and I iron the shirts for his work. As he likes to cook its a way for him to relax... I need to have everything planed for that. Some of our women friends ask on how we have a very tranquil life... and I always say... he is the KING (everything is in function of him, because he brings the bucks) ... but I am the prime minister of managing our live. They are always confused. :DD. Because its my MISSION .... then its fun. Love your work and the format of your communication
By far, one of the best shows I’ve watched since subscribing. So much so, even looked for the “donation based on what I thought the content was worth” link. However, did/do not see it. Anyways, you had me literally saying “Yes! Exactly!!” out loud. Thanks for putting words to what I have rattling around in my head regarding “modern women”
I have a cleaning service and dating apps are great...Marriage to a modern woman does nothing for me and is a complete waste of money and emotional energy....
A woman often values herself based on her sexuality. Certainly this is appealing, but it is an appeal which assumes a smaller role over time. By concentrating on her looks and sexuality, a woman hastens the day when her man will look at her and feel boredom over what he once found cute and sexy. Time will tell if she has anything else to offer. Women who never learn this lesson end up as 40-yr old divorcees sitting in bars, still trying to bat their eyes and catch a man's attention.
If a woman is in her 30s and is looking to have a family, she is already in a bad situation. It takes at least a year to go from meeting someone to an engagement, and for the professional class there's a lot of negotiating that goes into figuring out what a marriage looks like. There's also the risk of meeting a guy who gaslights you into thinking he's marriage-minded but in reality just wants a girlfriend for a steady, consistent source of sex. For all but the most attractive women, starting your search for a lifetime partner at 30 is likely simply too late and some sacrifices will have to be made in terms of family size or the overall quality of man she ends up with.
Most women can start at 30, find a reasonable husband and have 2 kids. But yes compromises need to be made. The really successful women I know started around 24, married 28-29, first child before 30. Sisters, they both have very handsome rich successful husbands. The man you get starting at 30 is not the man you would have got starting at 23.
At 30 if a man is single and attractive it’s because he’s had to work for 5-10 maybe 15 years to become the type of man that attracts a woman. A man that’s put that much effort isn’t going to suddenly take any woman. She must up her game because his value is rising, whilst many of her attractive features (eg: beauty, high fertility) are also starting to fade, because they’re tied to youth. And women can’t necessarily complain, since the things they’re asked for, like kids and cooking dinners, tend to be easier to provide than the things asked of many men, like a high income
😂😂😂 True ! My female friend is a polish bartender from London is also in her 30s and she's always being victimized by men who just want to sleep with her. I tried to warn her many times but she's promiscuous so she's the one putting herself in that situation because she's the one choosing those men. She even let herself be used for sex for more than 6 months by an 18 year old kid. 😂😂😂 Now we're no longer friends she really hates me for calling her out on her stupid decisions.
A common refrain that I hear in my consultations with women is a disinterest in performing "low-value" work in their relationships. This can include things like cooking, cleaning, and (in some cases) sex. They often believe that doing this work makes them a "maid" or a "mommy" (or a "sex worker"), and that they would prefer to be utilized in a "higher-value" capacity. To save women the trouble, I decided to make an episode on my general response to this complaint.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
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I am surprised there are women who actually pay for consultations like these! this is total BS! Have you ever heard anything about LOVE?
@@tedantares2751 Women saying making love is beneath them... probably because they aren't actually capable of it.
Well there’s an insight into how men think. Why would anyone want to be tied to that!
I would hope that men with money have more insight into love and relationships and human needs and emotions.
If they don’t want to have sex with their man, especially in the “honeymoon phase” they don’t like him. The first six months should be like a competition between the two of you who can get their pants off first after a date. When you love someone you BOTH should want to make each others life better in whatever way you can (cooking, cleaning, hugs, and emotional support). Men and women should marry for love and respect or it’s not worth any amount of “high value” anything and your kids will end up in a broken home, or worse yet with two parents that hate each other.
@@tedantares2751 Yep. Check out "Love has nothing to do with relationships"
One of my sisters is married to a wealthy man. The other sister doesn't understand why she's so agreeable with him and doesn't push back all the time on child rearing and some chores. I told her he gives her the life she wants and she gives him peace, that is the deal.
Truth in its purest sense 🔥🔥🔥
Most men are really just looking for peace yet it's so hard to find and so many women don't want to provide it.
Let me guess, even after you explained this simple point she still looked at you with a face that says 'does not compute'.
@@louisbee7923that would be my assumption as well.
Error code 304
Basic as a glass of water in a Michelin ** restaurant.
I overheard a conversation between two young adults that stuck with me.
The girl: I’m going to marry a rich doctor so I don’t have to work.
The boy: That doesn’t make sense because you don’t like to do domestic stuff and you don’t like kids.
The girl: We will just hire a maid.
The boy: Why would your husband want you around when you don’t do anything? Why not marry the maid?
The girl: The maid is ugly, I’m attractive.
The boy: Well, good luck because if I was the rich doctor, I would just marry the maid.
Plus a hot woman in a French maid outfit is a killer combo. lol
And there are pretty maids out there…
And somehow rich men are no married to their maids... think about that.
Please warn me if someone I'm interested in has ever expressed that attitude
Niiiiiiice.
I'm a 40 year old single mother who worked at a grocery store, and this is how I married a man who makes 6 figures and owns a home.
He goes to work, and when he comes home, I make certain that it's a place he looks forward to being. No fights, no demands, just peace and sex. When he's home, I wait on him and do everything I can to make sure he is comfortable and feels loved. He tells me all the time he believes he's the one who lucked out
Many women must be jealous and hate on you.....but I'm happy for you.. blessings
Sorry to hear that you're still a single mother.
@@thorie79 She was but isn't now judging by how she phrased this comment
Good for you, and him!
Do you have a sister?
Im disgusted by anyone who thinks cooking and cleaning is beneath them.
My wife does all of the cooking and most of the house cleaning. This is not because it's beneath me; in fact, I respect her ability to power through tedious stuff without becoming distracted. She gets it done faster than I can. But the real reason why she'll do it is because I have other chores to do, like fixing things and doing much of the (heavier) outside work. She tries to give me rest when I need it.
The secret to a relationship is learning to find, and then work with, each other's strengths and weaknesses. Balance and respect. And of course, I _do_ help when things get piled up, and sometimes we help each other on a project. No entirely one-sided relationship will last.
I'm a man. I wouldn't ever, under any circumstance (other than medical) let anyone else but myself to feed my family.
@@pocket83squared I can't ask my wife to help me on any project... we end up having sex and the project stays unfinished. We're married for 16 years and we're not that young anymore but what can I do?
@@Dandan-tg6tj Don't worry; another 16 years and your projects will start to become way more important than her... um, distractions.
The honest answer men don't communicate beciase no woman could accept is "Then who tf needs you? Dueces!"
I am a woman, and I love your channel. The way you articulate common sense principles is brilliant.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Funny how uncommon this common sense is among a large part of the population.
It's amazing you can see it as common sense. I know too few women that don't go off the rails nuts just at the idea a man isnt a woman and doesnt value the same things.
He reads.
I guess you are already engaged.
I'm a 71 year old who has been a widow for 30 years. I hear a lot of wisdom in your advice.
W
Some women feel offended by Dr. Taraban, but I'm grateful to have the opportunity to hear some men's point of view. These are thoughts and reflections that not everyone will have the courage or even interest in telling us. This channel is a gem.
Get off RUclips and into the kitchen
Damn😂
U Desi?
@@Toomuch_xanOh sorry. I didn't understand your question. English is not my mother tongue. I'm not American 😅 If Desi means something related to India...No... I'm Brazilian, granddaughter of Japanese immigrants.
@@sa.sa3917 Awesome! YK 'Sayuri' is pretty common Indian name, so I asked!
Men are told we need to be patient, attenitive, and emotionaly open. Which every woman wants. When we ask for our three things were called names.
Except we know what we want from women and they utterly fail to recognize what is attractive to them. Hint: it is neither patience, attentivness or emotional openess.
Patience, attentiveness, and emotional openness are feminine virtues they themselves lack.
Women are impatient.. emotionally angry bout drama that don't exist
My grandma always told me the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Last night I made fresh naan, chicken shawarma, tzatziki, fresh veggies. The night before Korean style hot pot with cucumber salad. My man ain't going nowhere. And doing the dishes doesn't take long at all. I run the dishwasher every two days and we have a Roomba. I make the dishes he likes exactly the way he likes it. He isn't even aware how he likes his dishes and likely couldn't even get it at a restaurant. He makes more money than I do, so much so, I get to spend my money on clothes and random stuff. But in return, I take care of him so well he will never find greater comfort than at home. I don't know why women are against cooking, we all gotta eat. And eating takeout every day is very unhealthy. At max, I spend 2 hours in the kitchen a day. 1 hour if it's football night and all I'm doing is airfrying some wings and fries. The doc is right, this is an opportunity not servitude.
It's sad that this ultra basic common sense, is considered rare and admirable today. If women had basic empathy and psychology education, they would just care about fulfilling good men's basic needs. Cause such a good man, would dedicate his life to you. If of course you wasted that energy on a broken man, you would never get return for your investments
Wisdom!
Well said. 👏👏👏💯
🎉
Skip the frying and only eat healthy, have normal body weight and y’all even have more years to enjoy it all! Kudos to you!
1. Be a pleasure.
2. Don't make my life harder than it was without you. Don't bring additional problems in my life.
That's all.
Just like a doll.
If your life is hard right now that makes you very unattractive
or you can lie to yourself, and still wonder why it's so hard to find "good" men, and why half of marriages end up in divorce
@@PhoenIXrcrr are you trying to find a "good" men?
Relationships can be difficult if you can't take some more problems in your life with the belief that it will be worth it, you should stay single so no one bothers you with those pesky problems.
So many times I've heard women ask "where are all the good men", and I always give the same answer: "They're with the good women." They very rarely get my meaning.
I'm stealing that one. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@trucid2 Use it in good health.
Ouch ! That must sting, but it`s true though.
But how could anyone be so damned oblivious?
I always say become the person you want to meet.
Thank you! Your channel has acted like a catalyst for me to get back into the marketplace. I recently lost my significant other and after fully mourning her I wanted strategies for when I started dating again. The algorithm put me on to you, and it has been a great fit. I knew a lot of the techniques you talk about from working as a mental health skills trainer but how you put it together has been of great value to me. Thank you.
You’re pushing the act of explaining it all the way up to an art
He does do that well, explaining things. However, the old meme comes to mind: "I can explain it to you, but I cannot make you understand it." Unfortunately, that applies to most western women today.
This is nothing but delusion. And yet you men are all buying this 🤣
I thought about what you just said and it hit me. Non-Western women, say a Filipina for instance, do not have this explained to them, it is SHOWN to them by their mothers and grand mothers and aunts and older sisters from early childhood. I think the crisis we face in the West stems from the broken chain we experienced during the 2nd wave. @@cniht
"Explain as you would a child." - Sarris
Flawless victory.
Wow. I've never even heard my own thoughts about ""what am I getting in return for increasing your quality of life dramatically" put so well! Thank you.
But I'm the prize" says typical entitled single women.
I always have to tell late 30s women that as a high value / high quality man…..you wouldn’t be chasing me if I was not the prize.
Modern women believe God created men to serve the needs of women.
This is exactly why we make our own money now😂 and y’all are crying on the internet about it. You guys prove why women have to have their own money. Why women had to fight for independence. You want a maid and a sec worker whom you never have to respect. Just hold out for your ai sexbots we don’t want the slave/ sex servant position. Facts are 99% of you can’t offer a salary worth even considering it. Then again how much is your dignity worth.
Transactional relationships ..This is the exact question women are asking themselves and we’ve decided a lot of y’all don’t qualify and we need to start doubling the price. Now you need more than just money honey.
This is why American and European men fall in love with Latinas so fast, because Latinas get this from an early age. As a man it’s literally the most satisfying thing to see how a feminine woman behaves and just makes you be the most masculine version you can be - it’s like magic.
@adventureelliot, I used to pedestalize Latinas too, dated them exclusively for 6 years. Trust me, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.
@@ITR1329 depends where you meet them… I live in Spain so the Latina immigrants that come here are usually a bit better off/more educated and we share the fruits of Europe together but they still are Latina and prefer a traditional man.
Yes
Most latinas married to rich guys pay a maid to cook and clean. It's that simple.. Anyway you shouldn't fetichize latinas
I love latino culture but it can be a lot of drama.@@ITR1329
Funny how women don't seem to realize that it never increases their value how successful they are with their jobs.
Actually it's just the exact opposite; more succesful she is, less value she has as a partner.
No man who is not a SIMP is interested in woman who is too much dedicated to her work.
Man needs a woman who is dedicated to his man and her family, and nothing else.
Well done sir... You have eloquently described what modern society has lost... If this is what the ladies want, here's a clear-cut path to getting it.
We don't want to be maids, this man hates women.
And no one is 'forcing' them to accept these terms, in spite of the caterwauling in this comment section trying to claim otherwise.
@@Doberman_6773 100% correct, sir...
They've been destroyed by modern schooling, as many men have been too.
are so many women really all about money? I guess I've never met any who are like that, but it's all I hear about on the internet
Wow this is eye opening! Thank you for the video! A future video on that 2hour monthly cleaning routine is highly requested!😅
Women are going to hate, and the same time respect the restaurant analogy. It couldn't have been constructed any better. 🙌
This is nothing but pure delusion. And yet you men are all thinking this is some new discovery 🤣
I would compare women who put out easily, expecting Chad to commit afterward as "fast food", equivalent to a quick lay. Even high-value men sometimes eat fast food but only a low-value man would commit to a fast food restaurant.
It's a shame that men have to break this down into terms that a 3rd grader would understand.
@@Remember-Death -- it is the narcissim and feminism that prevent modern women to fail to understand the basic intuitive things that traditional women knew.
@@Remember-Death Too funny
Whole generations of men and women have been told lies about how relationships work, forcing an unrealistic, impossible fantasy world driven solely by material comforts and self centered-ness.
Marriage is formalizing a mutually beneficial arrangement. And yes, that does include material comforts.
But I agree, there's more to it than that.
My own experience is that (most) women want safety. And (most) men want a safe harbor. What safety or safe harbor look like can vary from person to person; the trick is to find a matching pair.
Truthfully and very well said.
Its shocking just how many women think that a wealthy man is going to pay all of their bills for literally no reason.
A wealthy guy would pay her their bills if she is his wife, that’s a good enough reason for me.
Plus Dubai is full wealthy men paying the bills of women who are not their wives.
Nope
look at you, you're mum's production. did your dad carry you to term? who compensated her for it and why? now you know.
@@elenah1384 Those ladies are providing sex lol. Actually cheaper to pay for sex then to marry these days. Once married sex goes out the window. Bait and switch.
@@elenah1384have you been flown to Dubai by one of these men?
The perfect wife: "She is like a mother in the kitchen, a maid in keeping the house clean, a minister when asked for advice, a lady in public, and a harlot in the bedroom. " Indian proverb. A man is willing to die to protect such a valuable jewel of a wife.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Yes. I hate this quote with passion even as a child.
@@mayluz444 👎 You may be surpzied to know that while females control access to sex, it is men who control access to relationships. Just because they sleep with you doesn't mean they want to marry you. Why is that? You don't meet THEIR standards.
I love that and hope to be that one day. Such valuable roles to bring to anyone's life.
@@elyse3332 oh dear, you will be burned out if you try to be one. Even as a child i felt how unfair to put so much expectation on one person. Such a misgynoistic quote in some scriptures
The more women understand the male perspective, the better it is for both parties.
Well, it's not gonna do squat if they will try to understand over 30.
It's pity that men don't want understand women.
@@sienkiewiczmonika1161 No, I think it's the other way around.
@@sienkiewiczmonika1161it's the other way around, we're not the ones getting emotional when faced with hard facts of reality.
Good luck with that
It’s shocking how Women's Magic Truths isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
hot dang, this comment reached almost 2k likes without any comment lol
Dude you're obviously AI so why don't you read it for me? Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I expect a full summary here in the comments immediately.
My girlfriend at the time said marry me or I am out. She had no job, no land, no savings. I had acerage, big house, sports cars, good job. I thought she would make a good mother. 8 years later, she divorced and took everything using the divorce court system. I slept in my car. My suggestion to young men, only marry a woman with similar resources, get a pre nup, keep money out of your marriage for back up. Never completely trust anyone with your life savings. The risk is too high.
That is the new normal
I'm so sorry...
So sad to read it...
Pre-nups aren't worth the paper they are written on, put your assets in trusts instead with beneficiaries who aren't your wife.
You bet man. Yes prenups work depending on state and your draft. I was there once and thankfully her atty blew her out?? yup she kept ripping on the guy and complaining. YES, in court she tried to hire my attorney on the spot, crazy. Also funny I had a female atty. Her craziness cost her big. Bullet dodged...
Thanks! What a terrific video. It is about time, effort or money, and as the other partner you need to see what can you contribute to make things better to justify and validate your presence in the relationship.
That restaurant analogy was just brilliant. I love analogies and that one did exactly what an analogy is supposed to do: make it easier for the listener to get to the 'aha' moment.
It's not brilliant. It's a falacy. Women don't serve a "a basic service " (water=clean=cook). Orion himself knows it's not a moral obligation for women to be domestic. So the analogy doesn't work
Your talks are BRILLIANT ...... because you tells it how it is without waffle or mixing words !!!!
What you have described is exactly what my mother did after she married my father. She kept working for a couple more years after they married before she quit her job (she was making as much as my father) and they decided to have me.
I once asked her a few years ago if it was worth it, quitting her job to become a housewife and mother. She smiled and told me that if she had another chance, she would make the very same decisions she made all those years ago.
I asked my mom the same thing, and got the same answer. After my youngest sibling was old enough to see after himself, she went back to work. She retired as dad did, he was 65, she 59. They had a very happy retirement until she passed at 77.
That was her way of letting you down easy. Such motherly grace!
Yeah dude no mother is going to tell their kid they regret having them.
But your father was a nice and honurable guy right? he didn't have affairs and leave your mother for someone younger after she had given up her life?
@@missp498 Of course not! My parents are still together have been for the last 20+ years.
😂 I freaking love it here. The restaurant analogy was perfect. I'm happily married and I intend to stay that way. 💞
Good Job!!
Good luck.
Get outta here Lesquisha
Most likely getting cheated on
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My wife does everything mentioned and does them well. She makes our home orderly, beautiful, and a place everyone we know loves to visit. I appreciate her so much for this and understand how uniquely valuable she is. There is no way I could live anything close to the happy, productive, and fulfilled lifestyle I have without her. And that's why she will NEVER want for anything, ever. She will be cared for, protected, provided for and lavished with love, affection, and yes, material things, even though she does not care so much about those things.
I can say that I am envious!
What a great analogy regarding water and the restaurant. You eloquently described how the reservations some women have to do simple things with enthusiasm because it is 'beneath them' is a massive deterrent. Their self-evaluated worth deeming them 'too good' to do this makes them less of a good candidate.
Also, really liked the comparison to marketing to see things from the client's perspective. I find that's something people don't really do or grasp much these days (even in marketing, somehow).
Great vid.
Orion, we need a behind the scenes of your meal prep and housekeeping for us bachelors trying to streamline things
Agreed:that would be a nice thing to see, or minimum a referral to a page whom Orion follows for meal prep advice
Well I'm a married woman who meal preps for my family. Baking tray of 6-8 chicken breasts, seasoned. Large batch of steamed broccoli, lightly seasoned. Then you can make the rice or potatoes everyday for freshness. I also add curry chickpeas in large batches.
For breakfast Eggs , Whole loaded oatmeal with fruits and seeds. Some of the prepped broccoli.
For cleaning: Declutter the whole house. Streamline all your big areas of activity aka the kitchen.
Tidy up Mon Wed Fri.
Deep clean Friday so you can have a nice weekend where you'll be at home the most. Slob on the weekends brings the vibes down.
Absolutely! I want to know how to keep my house clean with 2 hours a month of work.
I'm a divorced bachelor and honestly I don't find cleaning (mostly kitchen/bathroom) all that exciting. For the low cost of $70/month, I have a maid come in and do that for me. If you have more foot traffic or humans, maybe you'll need it twice a month. For the cost of a cable bill, I find it well worth it. She takes maybe 2.5 hours.
His place is always so clean.
I’ve known several couples who have taken the “economically equal” approach to their relationship, and they made themselves slaves to a never ending barter system. They count every dollar they “put in” to the “family” account, and every dollar the other person failed to put in.
I'm a libertarian type person, and I find that a lot of people are offended by what they call the boiling down of all human interactions into market transactions between two opposing sides with each side seeking the maximum benefit for himself at the expense of the other. But that IS all it boils down to, when it comes to STRANGERS. I'm niave, but I think relationships should be about love and caring and what leftists think should be at the core of economic relationships between market participants. I love this channel, every video is an eye-opener but on some level listening to this depresses me because it describes people approaching relationships and bargaining with a "what's in it for me" attitude. When you fall in love, you think in terms giving and not getting. All of this talk about who is high value, who is going to do what work and who makes the most money is repugnant to me.
@@XxowendanxXYou need to watch more of it then. Like he says that, 'relationships are an exchange of value', not love as you say it...
Sounds like they are Self enslaved....post likely the woman runs the show....
The same thing can happen when one works and the other takes care of the home. The husband may feel that he "busts his ass" while the wife "sits at home".
@jameskamotho7513 I guess so. Like I said maybe I'm naive but I'd like to rewrite the book on relationships, at least for me. If it's not about love, then what's the point? It's a cold business transaction. No wonder so many relationships fail.
Hi Orion. Great analysis. The ever-present danger for the high-value guy is that his initially "agreeable" high-value wife can bide her time, divorce him after several years of marriage, and walk away with both most of his wealth and the right to enjoy it any way she chooses. For most western men today, skydiving with parachutes made in Bangladesh holds fewer risks than marriage.
Exactly, they are agreeable, until one night out of nothing they decide that they don't like the high-end restaurant that you selected, or something equally ridiculous, and proceed to give you the cold shoulder and start shopping for a cheap divorce lawyer.
@@Tee55118 Correction, she'd be shopping for an expensive divorce lawyer because you'd be the one footing the bill.
Getting married without a prenup is worse odds than Russian roulette. And even with a prenup, it's a gamble. She _must_ have her own lawyer, and the agreement has to be reasonable (e.g. you can't just give her a hundred bucks if there's a divorce). Then budget some more money if, five years down the road, she decides to get another lawyer to try to break it.
IF you want to understand women and avoid ending up with the wrong one please read " The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar". this book was written by a women about women.
YES!
Agreed! A must read book for all men. I’d also highly recommend Practical Female Psychology For The Practical Man by Franco, JWS, & Dave Claire. And Women‘s Infidelity 1 & 2 by Michelle Langley.
@@painter8237 woman’s I fidelity is a
Must read. I read it about 14 years ago, it really helped
My journey by leaps & bounds.
Terrific read.
Good Read; I would add in 2 books that I don't see listed in prior comments - _No More Mr. Nice Guy_ by Dr. Robert Glover, and _The Beta Male Revolution_ by Alan Roger Currie.
The problem started right from the very start. After years of self interested actions not realizing the impact on their SMV, they finally decide “I want to settle down and I want a family.” This notion is entirely self interested as well. You have to meet someone, love them, and have a family together. If it’s in a “I want notion” then the relationship and family dynamic will inevitably fall apart. You have to want a family with that person. Not that just you and want a family
What do you mean by SMV? Given the context I am thinking it has something to do with their marriage value because of their past. Is that what you are referring to? Thanks!
@@steveeubaknate2999 SMV is sexual market value
@@steveeubaknate2999nonsense. Red pill delusional
As the good doctor pointed out before, wanting something costs you nothing.
Voilà ! This is perfectly explained!
Yes, this fits my experience. Married 20+ years and a therapist. Educated modern women don’t really understand value. I built with my husband. Cooked and cleaned. Became agreeable. Had children and raised them well.
Then you’re a real gem and a light to the world.
@user-ro5tn3zt1d Darling girl, there r better places to seek life advice from. Be careful out there & best of luck. Peace.
@user-ro5tn3zt1d 14 is too young to be bitter forever. Bitterness for a while is perhaps the norm in life; it comes and goes. But don't let either disagreeable people or people who would like to convince you everyone's disagreeable(they're often the same people) persuade you that there are no good and kind people out there looking for other good and kind people, or that the proportion is too small to consider above effectively zero. And while child-rearing at its best requires considerable time away from the working world, it doesn't mean that situation is permanent. My own mother didn't graduate high school, spend decades raising children(she was a foster mother, too), then got a master's degree when they flew the coop and worked for decades more at a good salary. There are many middle-aged and older women in the work force. I know nurses working into their 70's and 80's, and private therapists who can work out of their homes often simply don't retire at all because they enjoy their work, feel it is valuable, and the physical demands are almost non-existent. The world is not so small as you think it is so far.
@user-ro5tn3zt1d I completely agree with you. Working = Freedom. A woman has to keep developing her mind and her ability to work and survive in this world.
Exactly. Most abusive men are psychopaths. They start nice and many only change after a long time. There is no guarantee. What about divorce, cheating, death? How can anybody prevent that?
I'm in my 60's now, but all my life I worked as an industrial millwright and a heavy equipment mechanic, I owned a home free and clear by my late 20's. I fix everything at my home, and the cars and trucks. Because I've helped a lot of people get their plant, or their equipment running when they were in a pinch I've always gotten lots of stuff for free or way deep discounts. Like free or maybe $1,000 10 year old cars. I think one time I went for 5 years without paying a penny for heating oil. I've worked in all kinds of weather.
Now in just about every relationship I've been in I hear BS like I need to do more cleaning around the house,,,,, 50-50 bla bla bla.. The women at best have a part time job in a heated, air conditioned , clean environment. I come home with cuts, burns, and covered in grease and oil every day. If I ask them to do something I hear "I work too".
This sh!t is hilarious. When it comes to dating, women HATE it when they have to consider anyone other than themselves.
But Sammy, it is even funnier than that! Because women actually SHOULD hate to consider anyone other than themselves. Because in reality, everyone wants what’s best for themselves. But the point in this video is that by doing stuff they don’t like plus doing all the things the man wants, actually makes the women get EVERYTHING they want. They get happiness, family, being taken care of, plus in the west they even get a boat load of money in the divorce. So having an attitude, and not caring about what the man wants, is actually not caring about themselves. But most women don’t think that far ahead, they want it all and they want it now, and sadly there are simps who still provide that. But simps are quickly going away thanks to videos like this one.
@@michelstronguin6974 Yeah I understand all that perfectly.
It's essentially just the: instant gratification vs deferred gratification lesson repackaged. Nothing new under the sun.
Be very glad if they reveal this in dating.
Some are sophisticated enough to keep this secret until after they have their state issued business contract euphemistically called ‘marriage.’
The funny thing is, it’s not that they don’t know how to sell their “product” or services. We see it all the time across the digital marketplace that is the internet. Traffic to their business so to speak may be flooded, but they just can’t seem to convert those upscale clients into investors/benefactors. They’re hustling backwards, acquiring skills (and debt) to be good laborers in the work force, but those skills just don’t translate to being a wife, mother, and helpmeet to a provider male. That’s what upsets them.
@sammyb1651 solipsysm (not spelled right) haha
I love this advice but I think it needs to be emphasized to the men that this dynamic only applies to those who are successful relative to the women who are interested in them. If you have no job, no ambition and no plan to progress in your standings, please do not go around demanding "obedience and agreeableness" from anyone.
They still can, just dumpster dive for even poorer girls or uggos/fatties.
Exactly. You need to bring something to the table.
You're spot on, but the paradox is that a lot of women enthusiastically sleep with men with no ambition who are sexually compelling in part because they do demand obedience.
Amen.
It's embarrassing how many men don't make enough to enable a woman to keep house and raise children comfortably without her financial contributions, yet demand behavior as if they are the highest earning men. And it never seems to be the actual highest-earning men who are the loudest in their demands for obedience and agreeableness.
The growth of this channel is absolutely insane. Well deserved.
Disagree completely
@@sweetpeaxh why?
@@sweetpeaxhI agree with you and Iam glad that young women are not drinking Dr. Orion's Kool aid.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 so many INCELS it's obvious 😊
As usual, excellent presentation. As an octogenarian, I still find your videos very interesting. And, I do agree with your views and comments about 98% of the time. That sounds like an A+.
4:12 "The only way that you're going to get what you want is by providing something I don't already have. The more I have, the harder that's going to be."
6:09 "The most dangerous man for a woman, is the man who has everything. Because if he has everything, he doesn't need you for anything."
If you are a man who may even have little in life, but have an abundance mindset and feel fulfilled and happy in life without wanting more, it would make it practically impossible for a woman to provide something of value to a man.
100%
If you're that kind of man then you probably aren't in the pool in the first place, so this seems like a N/A
This whole thing sounds so transactional it's somewhat depressing.
Well every human has inner capability to become happy without external factor, it is not gender based.
Just look at nuns and unmarried priest. Their happiness stem from their internal relationship with God.
However receiving anything by paying is not as fulfilling as getting them unconditionally by love.
@@FrankM That’s an awful thing to say and a mindset of devaluing women. I’m sorry whatever you went through that you see no value in women
This one was brilliant. Doing a simple roleplay with the client and concluding that pride is stopping you from getting what you want.
Love this guy! Truth bombs, truth bombs and MORE truth bombs. LMAO!
No man wants to come home to an argument and a, "boss lady."
There are many "girl bosses" outside that won't settle for less.
@@Cuticatie Then they won't find anything at all.
🐱
I have an MBA and a corporate job which I love. I cook, clean, sew, do DIY home stuff. My husband has a double Master's degree & a corporate job. He also vacuums, does laundry and washes up. We work together to balance the necessary housework. We treat each other with appreciation, love and respect. We consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have a balanced, peaceful life where we support each other and attack any problem instead of attacking each other.
This is a good balance. Both doing both. 😊
Good for you both!
I wonder why the channel owner did not heart this comment?
Good luck with that upcoming divorce
@@geekonomist Why? This seems like a fair and balanced way of living.
Love the comment on Michelin restaurant experience. My husband always compliments me because of the LOVE I put into keeping our home and being a mother. Ladies, there is nothing better than taking care of your family. So many younger women want the lifestyle with no obligations or responsibility and they wonder why they are not happy or can’t find a man.🤔
A man with a good income should ask himself "does she love me, or does she love a certain lifestyle?"
Do you ever comppliment your husband?
Does she have to? She doesn’t need to. The work she puts into the home is enough. Don’t ask a woman what her husband says to her. You’re a child.
@@VBoo459 So, a double standard in marriage is OK? No wonder men don't want to get married anymore.
Married 19 years and I feel the same way about my wife. I have a great career in engineering that affords my family a wonderful lifestyle but her efforts at home are the most important. Trust me, your husband means every word.
crazy how you have to explain the most basic dynamics of a relationship to modern people. Our parents really failed us on this one
Girl dads spoiling their princesses didn't realize that they'd grow into selfish & delusional spoiled rotten adults. 😂
Good parents couldn’t compete with billions of dollars of TV ads, propaganda in magazines, newspapers, the list goes on.
Those aren't basics dynamics of a relationship, that's servitude. Women can stay single, make their own money, have their own babies and hire a maid.
@@EC-yl7xk - It sounds equally insane when you say a woman can do it as if a man said he's going to stay single, hire a surrogate and a live in nanny, and call that a healthy family dynamic... If your answer is deliberate single-parenthood, then you shouldn't be a parent.
Indeed!
My mom ran for the hills when I was two, and as an attractive female I have never understood the dynamic of relationships! It took a very long time to realize why I had so many offers of dates; guys thought I was flirting with them when I just treated them like my dad, brother, and male cousins.
Now I’m 43 and happily single, glad that I don’t have to think about having children in any potential relationship that may come, unless they’re adopted or grandchildren!
I worked in a restaurant which asked me to always upsell customers to bottled water, coaching me to deliberately misinterpret any request for water as a chance to get an extra five dollars. That didn't go over so well even (or especially) with our old-money customers, who could pretty easily see through what the managers were trying to do. This was the early 90s, and I like the analogy you have drawn with some of the ideas about "equality" in dating I picked up around the same time. Both represent a very simplistic understanding of how people with choices behave over repeated interaction, short term gains which degrade repeat business, and probably only make sense in a bourgeois classroom about "management techniques" or "women's studies." Thanks to your transparent presentation I think I understand my life in restaurants in the 90s in, both as a waiter and as a (low-salary) man taking women on dates, a lot better.
Alacrity, not a word i hear useda lot.
1. Liveliness; briskness; sprightliness.
2. Cheerful readiness or promptitude; cheerful willingness.
Loved your video and your choice of words! Thank you!
He makes some good points in this video. I was never interested in this dynamic so I never got married nor had children. I do wish the spiritual aspects of a partnership/relationship/marriage were discussed more often. I worked in U.S. healthcare for 20 years in hospitals, schools, and nursing homes. I saw a lot of trauma in the hospitals and nursing homes. I know life can change quickly and unexpectedly. If I was ever with anyone, I'd like to know that person had my back (and vice versa). The cooking and cleaning can be worked out. A true partner/husband/wife is hard to find.
Thank you for your comment. I agree. It really has to be a team effort over the long haul. The stuff discussed in this video is important but the way he presents everything is transactional. I've seen transactional relationships and I know I don't want to be in one. I'd rather be by myself or with someone who truly has my back. (And of course, I will have that's person's back in return.)@Poodle_Gun
@Poodle_Gun Props: it really _does_ have to be the two of you vs everybody.
Not really
that is something that this video seems to have missed, a glaring omission. Being in love with a person is hard to convey in just a few words but goodness, if you absolutely ADORE someone and are compatible with them it's such a beautiful thing. He's talking about relationships like they are nothing more than a business transaction
@@justsomenobody889love and services goes hand on hand. One does last without the other so video was perfect.
My most recent ex of 3.5 years who is now 36 and I’m 37 couldn’t understand this. I have a 14 year old daughter that I have custody of. My ex came into my world knowing I wanted a mother figure for my daughter and knew that I wanted to have a family. Anytime I expressed my desire for her to be more helpful around the home she would say “you just want someone to cook and clean for you. You don’t care about me.” Or if I asked her to help with my daughter by taking her to school or something like that, she would say it didn’t make sense for her to have to wake up early just to take her to school. She would have a day off or she started her work day 3-4 hrs later than I did (she was a waitress and I a government contractor) but would say it made no sense for her to get up and take my daughter to school if I was already up. She couldn’t understand the importance of spending time like that with a child and also lightening my life by taking on some responsibilities. She even went as far to say “She’s your responsibility.” I’m a successful man that makes considerably more money than her. I stay in really good shape, a lot of women find me attractive, I’m outgoing, don’t cheat, don’t have a drinking or drug problem, I know how to cook, take care of everything in my home, can fix anything in a home or on a car, play sports, etc etc. She was clearly drawn to me because of these things, but she was unwilling to do anything for me because she felt like it was beneath her or I didn’t really care about her. That I just wanted a nanny/housemaid.
Hang in there, fella. You're doing good. And your daughter will benefit from your strength and commitment.
Well done, Brother. You got rid of someone who did not value you properly.
Give a woman everything and she will find a way to be unsatisfied
Keep going man and just make sure you're more selective with the next one, one who gives you what is most important to you
You stayed with her for 3 1/2 years? I think we both know what she brought to the table ;-P
I remember my friend's mom would make these legendary Sunday brunches that were the envy of all our friend circle, and we'd all try to get invited over for it. It was immaculate. We appreciated her effort so much. They had cleaning services, and on occasion my friends dad cooked dinner, plus they went out often. The gave her the opportunity to be an artist with her meals and the style of the house.
My aunt growing up was the same. She was such an amazing cook that it was a treat to go over there for dinner.
Sounds like a narcissist.
@@onehtereproppper3697 yes most modern women are :
if I have millions what to you bring to the table ? if you want to be a decoration , cool . But remember personal taste and styles change , so old decorations are garage sale material or thrown away sitting on the street corner waiting to be picked up .
if you want a 50 / 50 arrangement , why would I want you ? Your not needed ( reverse of women's "I don't needed no man" )
If I want kids , for $150,000 or less , I can get a segregate to be the womb . Eggs are less than $20,000 .
For most rich men this is cheaper than any divorce or "me too" crap
@@onehtereproppper3697 who sounds like a narcissist?
@@rodneygaul2227 Did you mean surrogate?
The agreeable obedience to benefit the man's life is spot on. My partner was not willing to be with me due to my hesitancy and thinking that he was trying to control me. Realized this after I matured a bit more and trying to work things out with him now.
And then there is the misconception that women tend to label themselves high value based on their own definition but it often doesn't translate to the same definition as men have for a high value woman.
They don't give a damn about the male definition. They can only solipsistically project their own desires. They are selling us images of Frankenstein men, instead of real feminine women
I'd say 50% of women can actually afford to see the world only from their own perspectives in their 20s, not so much when they grow older, but they carry the same thinking patterns and that's what gets them into troubles.
@@allenlin7333 their mind creates all their (and most of our) problems, their body already has the hearts of men for just existing
Especially in case of age. The sexual market place value for a 25 yo woman is not the same as for a 40 yo. Women must see that high value in looks and beauty is connected to youth and while doing career time is running and beauty is fading away.
If being a high value woman means being a maid, then count me out.
Thank you so much for this content. As a 25 year old female, this is incredibly valuable.
get your children as young as possible, is my advice. There is nothing to wait for. You also won't miss any "great" career or traveling opportunities, you can easily get to that at 40+ with a lot more ease and superiority. Only thing to do at young age is to get some university diploma and 1-2 yrs of work experience.
Message from a 52 yr old man ...
@@spxram4793 I’m actually prioritising that. I’ve been in the work force for 7 years already and am at executive level. It’s nice decoration and money but that’s all it is… hoping to get married and have my children before 30, and am luckily in a stable relationship moving in that direction
To me there is nothing more satisfying to me than raising and guiding my own children! Is nothing else more valuable in life!
@@spxram4793 Strongly agree. My mother did just that. Plus, it's when you're young that you are most likely to conceive, and have a complication-free birth, and have a healthy child. Putting it off is constantly raising the stakes on yourself.
@@spxram4793 Stop telling women who may not be financially fit or emotionally prepared to pop out babies!!
I have a colleague who I consider to be a high-value woman. In her early 30s, she is pretty, very intelligent and capable (PhD), whip-smart and quick in her thinking, happy and cheerful, happy to help, a great companion, vivacious, and basically a lovely person. Any thinking man would snap her up in a heartbeat. She's married to a man who is about the same age, also has a PhD, and is climbing the ladder in one of the largest US companies. He is a quiet and modest man who is very deferential to her career. She does all the cooking and they can afford the technology to do the necessary things like cleaning and facilitate cooking, but I can see how effective their partnership is. She could probably stop work and they would hardly notice the financial impact. But she is supporting his career first, without having a negative impact on hers. I think she's really got it right. They want children and it looks like they have set up their situation to start a family in the near future. Everything is looking very positive for them. He has a corporate career that allows him to work from home, and she has an academic career that gives her considerable time flexibility. They have a bright future.
She is 30, she cannot have healthy intelligent children.
A career woman can succeed in being a wife as long as she never ever prioritizes her career over her man. An exceptionally wise woman is able to remain submissive to her chosen man regardless of any implied or overt sense of power hierarchies that might be put upon them from the outside.
@@varmastiko2908 I'm not sure it's being submissive, although that has negative connotations, but more paying attention to priorities to have a successful life together, and that means thinking long term about everything. Interestingly, when my colleague came for her job interview, she brought her husband along, although he stayed in the hotel or did something else during the day, but we made sure that he was invited to dinner with us all that evening. He came along but was completely deferential to her once he had been introduced. He stayed in the background and only really answered direct questions, allowing her to shine. When I visited their home recently, he was still quiet, but rather more engaged. They seem to have things sorted out so that neither messes with the other's career, but still seem to have a happy life together.
Early 30’s? If they want more than one healthy kid without any risks she better hurry.
Seems like that couple, have it right. Being a couple, takes thought, organization, work and love. If more couples would "try", we'd have a lot less unhappy people, regardless of their financial situation.
I do enjoy your take on things. I agree many women do overvalue what they are bringing to the table. Being agreeable obedient is not "lowering" yourself. It is simply making life sweeter for both of you. Win/win.
I learned a new word today... Alacrity: brisk and cheerful readiness. "she accepted the invitation with alacrity"
@@moytheboytech616 What an excellent new word. A great add'n to my vocabulary. Apparently, an "ink well" word, meaning "uncountable". Coined by John Koenig, creator of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Thx, Moy.
So, I suspect that the women who would take this advice, given their initial resistance, would do so only in the short term, as a way of baiting the trap. Once the bait is taken and the deal is sealed, the gradual evolution toward flipping the script would begin. Complaining about the tasks, followed by lots of discussions involving phrases such as "share of the household chores" and "share of the work", with a clearly lopsided list, which includes only those things that she is doing as "the work", to be divided. Ultimately, these women create the circumstances that necessitate the great majority of this work, while resenting any expectation that they actually do any of it. As you said, it doesn't take much effort to stay single and just take care of your responsibilities, but it is absolute misery to let someone into your life that's going to complain about and resent every little task and responsibility that arises.
That's why you wait long enough to be clear that she's doing it willingly and joyfully
I can see why men go to other countries to find women now. They're just so damn happy to be in the USA and happy to be a captive audience to do the things they'd do in their home country anyway, but with clearly more 1st world benefits to boot. My brother is such a lucky person. He married somebody from Bulgaria and she wouldn't think of leaving (AFAIK).
One reason why I dont give detail when I step away from a relationship, women oftentimes hide those flaws instead on working on them, hence, tricking the next guy.
I've never understood why women call maintaining a household such a terrible burden. Do they ever think that a man may not want to go out and work every day? No, then take that entirely for granted, saying "that is a man's job," while what was once regarded as "a woman's job" is negotiable.
9:30
You're fundamentally mistaken in this. It's actually one of the hardest things they can do because they aren't programmed to care about a mans wants or needs. They believe he should exhibit zero wants and needs and attend to hers instead. Abundantly.
This whole thing flounders once again on the men="human doing" principle. They don't see men as human beings, they have a perspective of entitlement to mens labour, sacrifice etc. You see it as "easy" because you're self-extrapolating and seeing it through the male lens of service.
So you see it's actually enormously difficult for them. Otherwise they'd do it. Obviously.
That's the cold, unpleasant and insoluble reality.
Plus, the practical reality is women know they can offer zero value and men will still wife it up. Including high value men. You see it constantly. They know they can get a lot for not very much.
Back to square one with this one I'm afraid.
spot on
Good points, but haven't women been doing it historically for a long time? So they are perfectly able to do it, but have been conditioned to object to the sacrifice?
@@okaySam I think it's probably more accurate to say that, historically, all people did what they had to do to survive. It was more necessary to their survival in the past. It isn't now.
People tend to do what's easiest for them rather than what's 'best' for them. Particularly if what's 'best' for them is more difficult.
The level of ability remains unchanged. It's the incentives (environmental factors) that have altered.
@@sammyb1651 partly agree. I still think saying it's "enormously difficult" for them is a bit much. I also think framing the historical lives of women as merely doing what's necessary to survive is a false feminist talking point.
It turns their stomach around to even imagine you struggling. They don't care about your blood, sweat, sleepless nights and sacrifices. They want a finished product. You have to provide her, protect her, satisfy her, accumulate experience, accumulate wisdom. And make it all seem effortless, like you didn't break a sweat, else it spoils her solipsistic fantasy for you the "male doing". They are way too neurotic and self absorbed to even contemplate you can have vulnerabilities. And you better not show them in front of her or a part or her hypergamous fantasy and "love" for you inside her, dies away... .
Been happily married to my wife for 25y.
The golden rule I live by is this (and this goes for both MEN and WOMEN):
Live your life every day so that you are extremely hard to replace.
For men:
1) Be the best provider you can be
2) Take care of your family
3) Be a leader that is always present
For women:
1) Keep yourself attractive - and provide regular sex.
2) Be obedient and take care of your family
3) Don't make life complicated for your husband.
I work with some very high paid women. Several of them have married men who are well below them in how much money they can make. However, these men are willing to take the lead on taking care of the home front, so they are of value to these women. So, it works both ways.
cringe
@@justincarr8411 LOL! One woman from the above group was making over $3 million a year before she retired. A lot of men have done a lot of cringe worthy things for a lot less money than that.
@@justincarr8411 How are you different from the women demanding everything with nothing to offer if this makes no sense to you?
Non-Western women already know this through and through. I can't tell you how many female dating profiles in California say "I don't cook". It's a lost cause in the West imo.
That's prob one of the most brilliant explanations ive ever heard
I am male. IMHO - This video encapsulates ideals some women desperately need to hear and appreciate! Excellent!
I never stop learning from your videos. Great job, you deserve all the success.
Awesome insight. Please consider doing a Part 2 to address the other 2 elements. 🙏
The video was absolutely well put together. I like the bit about the high end restaurant serving ordinary things with enthusiasm and class. That was a clear, logical analogy. I also thought you were on point about egotism getting in the way. Man or woman, egotism is the self defeat of many, in some cases it kills. I just wanted to share, in addition, that something both men and women should remember is that your value is also contingent on what comes out of your mouth. Example, if a beautiful woman, well dressed, fit, attractive appearance ect. were to open her mouth and spout trashy sentiments and values, that would make her as appealing as a fermented diaper. Same goes for the men. If a person wants to get married they should consider what they can bring to the "table", not only "what's in it for me". I heard a quote in a show one time: " value receives value". Very true in more than one aspect
Excellent work. I like the culture you bring to the topic.
I had a pastor that told me much of this in college and it saved me going after a highend proud girls I was chasing for 4 years. Instead I chose a real wife. Now... 28 years later we are still able to help eachother with sex, money, family and spiritual matters. Most of my college friends are divorced and both my wife and I still think we each got the better end of the covenant and wonder if we will tire of eachother.
At present...Now when I get a chance to pastor young women who are friends of my daughters I tell them many of the same things your talking about. NONE have any interest and pity my poor wife while she tells them to grow up and follow her example. They think she's a slave so they settle for dysfunctional roles and exspections.
High WANTS with little skills.
3 cheers from Alaska Fairbanks.
It’s honestly embarrassing that women need to be told these things in their 20’s, let alone their 30’s or 40’s. Expecting men to provide value to you without providing them any value yourself is like expecting your job to pay you your salary without having to work. How did we ever let our culture get to this point???
Male provider roles were seen as higher status than female family-raising roles. So "liberated" women wanted to work and/or were told and encouraged to work. Many are now finding that careers are not all they were cracked up to be. A better question is why does our society not value nurturing the next generation? You could objectively argue it's one of the most important roles out there. How many problems would be solved if everyone in the next two generations was raised carefully by two parents?
@@kelvincasing5265 preach dude. Instead of these talk shows like Oprah’s praising working women, they should be praising incredible mothers and wives.
It's embarrasing that men still depend on a female to do domestic tasks. Being high value is knowing to survive without expecting cooking and cleaning from a partner. You should pay for that. Would be childlish to do otherwise. You can expect a team player, not a cleaning service
@@lauracolo06 so if I’m providing for you financially, is that not paying? It’s like this guy’s message goes in one ear and out the other with women like you. Why would I financially provide for a woman, and then pay for a maid. I’m better off just financially providing for the maid. Hopefully this knocks some common sense into you. For the record, becoming a doctor, lawyer, or successfully running your own business is worlds of difficulty greater than just cooking and cleaning around the house. The level of entitlement you have is truly disgusting. Please don’t reproduce, and if you do, put them up for adoption. Cooking and cleaning while your man provides financially for the whole house IS being a team player. The level of cognitive dissonance some women have is astonishing.
@@lauracolo06 "team player" a cute term which when women use ,men knows all too well is the euphemism for 'challenging' & 'nagging'
It took over 20 years for my wife to figure out that her choice of meals were not the same as mine. ...........
Ur problem
HahahahahahahA
Hi. How do we become members to Orion’s channel? Is there a button I need to find and press?
You had a Western wife who cooked? Count your blessings! 😂
And you stayed?
When I was a kid in the 80s, my father told me about one of his successful colleagues who was in a contractual relationship with a woman (not married - no govt.). This guy hit all the key metrics woman demand today. They had a contract which established division of all financial and other relationship related requirements (e.g. he paid the mortgage, she furnished the home; they each were responsible for their own vehicle, dinners, travel, etc.).
This guy was way ahead of his time; it largely removes the biased third-party (govt). I wish this sort of relationship would become more common, but women are sold on fairy tales and worse.
His "wife" was his business partner LMAO.😂😂 Sounds like a unique situation. Hey whatever works
@@LaitoChen That's the rub because it shifts the perception of the relationship to transactional, and with that, it likely removes any sense of loyalty. So you better have a loyalty clause too...lol.
There is no way this woman was young and/or had young kids. She had to be at least 40 or older & a career woman. Get a loyalty clause? How exactly are you gonna get a loyalty clause from someone who doesn't need you? Y'll want a woman that doesn't exist, but women are the ones sold a fairy tale 😂😂
umm....have you seen the divorce rate?@@makeyourmark00
This really needs to become the standard. Its not that hard to be fair in a relationship, marriage is not fair. Give the man the boys if the woman decides to go 304. We have way more time then they do. My dad had 4 wife. I will have 3. Most were not worth keeping.
This is so resonant and I think it speaks to a difference in traditional versus modern values. I am a woman in my mid 20s with a man about 15 years older. I chose him for many reasons -- personality, shared traditional values, looks, and success. He provides me a wonderful life so I can relax and focus on my passions, I am currently in school and building a startup. In return, I show him warmth, nurturing, and the obedient agreeableness you shared here. I am not perfect (can be a little crazy like all women), but I love loving him, cooking, baking, cleaning, and keeping a home. Why wouldn't I want to serve a man who cherishes and claims me?
Some of us take pride in our cooking, and enjoy nourishing the ones we love.
💯💯💯👏👍👍
Nourishing people heart, mind body and soul is my goal. In serving others we become truly free.
And some of us hate cooking for hours. I make fast fixes just to get vitamins in.
This makes 100% sense to me and I'm 100% willing to give up my career to take care of a man. The issue is men who earn LESS than me who would still require me to work outside of the home are asking for this. Most men don't earn enough in this economy to have stay at home wives. So in this case I believe the "dark horse" strategy is best for most. Just make sure you pick well.
Why are men that don't suit you . . . an "issue" (?) Why even spend the energy to comment about them (?) As you say: "just make sure you pick well".
"Money, cash, paper, coin" marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
Dark horse strategy?
@@joecurran2811 he mentions this in another video and referred to it in this one.
@@joecurran2811 Means early on in life, find a guy with POTENTIAL to win; and marry him and help him become successful; instead of waiting till you are 35, he's successful, and has an option to get a 25 year old trophy (since at 35 you offer him nothing useful in comparison) - that is, if he's even single and some OTHER woman didn't dark-horse-marry him earlier.
I had one woman try very hard to “integrate” herself into my life. We were barely dating, but she would come over and start doing shopping for me, cleaning, washing, even though I never asked or remotely suggested that is something I wanted.
Maybe it’s because she wasn’t my type, but none those gestures really made any difference to me. I could do it all myself, faster, cheaper and better. I even found it annoying, for various reasons I won’t list.
I know her current boyfriend from college, and the three of us went to the beach once. Afterwards, she was even changing his socks for him, as if he couldn’t do it himself. ☠️
I value slightly different things in a woman. I want us to be able to grow together, intellectually, travel a bit, eventually have a family. I would like her to at least contribute equally around the house without putting up any sort of attitude about it. And sure, sex is important too, but both people should enjoy it, not just one of us. It is far more important to me that I can trust her and not have to look over my shoulder to make sure some bs isn’t happening when I’m not around. Very few women or people in general inspire such trust from me.
Listen to Orion again. That’s exactly what he’s saying.
Thank you for that comment.❤
You werent physically attracted to her. Thsts all.
@@Think-For-Yourself-Man Not every man wants a servant, like Dr. Orion.
Like one guy said about physical attraction.
But that you where annoyed by this "start doing shopping for me, cleaning, washing" only really tell me you have nothing better to do. She can also still do that and still do this " grow together, intellectually, travel a bit, eventually have a family"
When I was young and broke, I married a broke guy with a huge debt. We worked hard and built a very prosperous life and a healthy family together.
What I cherish the most about our marriage is that it still feels like being married to your best friend and our relationship never feels transactional and we are not like a fair weather friend to each other. We are unconditional in our love and dedication for one another.
I think this kind of loyalty and commitment are more important than anything in marriage because us humans have no real control of what happens in our future. Just think about it. One unexpected car accident and you can become disabled or disfigured for life.
Stay humble. Remember what would be most important in a world where everything that you are banking on (looks, money, abilities, etc) can change overnight. 💫
Finally, someone has very elegantly articulated what men, especially men of a certain value, expect from a women in a ltr. This is why I generally date younger and less successful women. The modern women, especially the more successful ones, are the least desirable for all of the reasons he has mentioned.
Great video Dr. Orion. Thanks so much!
This video is absolutely fantastic! The best you have ever made!
Dude, you make a whole lot of sense. Subscribed.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I’m 57 now and have a multimillion networth and currently a high 6 figure income. With that said I have a yard service, house keeper, accountant, pool service, and financial advisor. I don’t have anyone mess with my cloths so I do my own laundry. I also don’t cook and just eat prepared food and fruits and veggies etc. lunch is often provided at work for free. I already have 4 sons that are gown and one lives in my upstairs with his girlfriend. I don’t really feel the need to add a women to my life I don’t really need one for anything except maybe some companionship but it’s been my experience that what I want is companionship and what I end up getting is drama and chaos.
Ha! I'm a woman. My networth is not in the millions (yet), but even I have a housekeeper and eat out.
@@Mint-kj9kw exactly women add nothing to the equation. Anyone can do it, even someone poor like me. Do you have 4 children to carry on your genetics. I have 4 sons.
I think the thing that is missing from most discussions about marriage and family is just that: people who value marriage and family will tend to get married - and have family. People who are immature or don’t value marriage and family will come up with checklists about what the other person will provide for them, it’s a complete one-way fantasy. There’s no discussion of extended family, of heritage, of culture, of religion and so on. What values they as a family want to pass on. The focus is on deal making, which is a sure way for a woman eventually wanting a divorce. Men are often surprised, thinking- I’m satisfied with the deal, why is she suddenly wanting a divorce?? The answer is “the deal”. She has been depersonalized to an employee and is now quitting.
Perfect comment.
Yeah, cause people who value marriage are always mature...you wish!
more often than not she was looking at HIM as an employee and is now firing him. very few marriages have this dynamic these days; so most devorces are more about the woman getting bored.
My mom taught me to be a feminine woman - to be affectionate, take care of him and our home, how to be a mom. Not to be a feminist. Actually, she said I should have my degree as a backup plan should the marriage not work. But my priority should be on marriage, my kids and home. Unfortunately, I married the wrong man! But taught my daughter the same and taught my son to look for this type of woman. I was shocked to realize how many women put career over their relationships.
It is very sad to see. People choose money over love.
@@ThePhabulousYvelise
Sweetie....you can do both. Look at Sara Blakely....self made BILLIONAIRE....she is a boss babe....is adored by her husband...and has tons of children.
@@Mint-kj9kw Good for her. She seems to be the exception and not the rule.
Yeah just look at this one in a million example of a success! You can totally do it too! 🙄
@ThePhabulousYvelise because prioritizing love is the riskier option and many women care less about it. reality is that if you want a successful career you should dedicate your life to it and after all that effort of course you wouldn't play role of a submissive obedient wife who prioritizes another person's convenience. also love gets boring very quickly and it is less fun. there is a good chance that you just end up with an asshole. what I don't understand is that why would many women care so much about having children. they don't worth it
Love the video. As a guy who already has his life together very well, you really hit the nail on the head for me. Also find it both funny and depressing so many women need it explained to them that they're supposed to bring value of some kind to the relationship... In my own LIVED EXPERIENCE, it is indeed very common to meet women who only ever thought of relationships in terms of what they want and what they can take from it.
You're doing good work, Doc.
If the only value you are offering for a relationship with a wealthy man is sex, then you are looking for some variation of a prostitution job for a single man. If that is what you want, and you are great at that job (which is a TON of work, like always being in tip top shape) then more power to you - you will find someone. But I still think that most women will be happier in a partnership between equals, even if that destroys the dream of an "easy" life.
Thank-you for your honesty. Women have been encouraged for decades to downgrade domestic work and childcare in favor of a paying career. But being a mother is one of the most important jobs in the world, and the mom really needs to be present to nurture her kids properly. You can pay for help, but no one is going to love that child more than the true mom (in most cases). Domestic work and making a home beautiful, clean, and nurturing is an important task, so is cooking. If you have a great man, it is worth giving up all the corporate stresses and headaches to make a life with him. And I agree with you I think the problem is mostly ego.
The praising of oneself for giving to society what most men consider a huge bill (babies) is soooo over-done! WOMEN can be hired as help much cheaper than a wife. And mothers are priceless IF THEY ARE TRUE! Most mothers are not!!!! Hence, alllll the people in therapy, PEOPLE IN PRISON, men not wanting to go home and had rather be with a mistress…..women who gift the world from the most secure job in the world, the most over charged job in the world, the least managed job in the world-motherhood. This “gift” attitude gives narcissists a safe place to cloak themselves.
@@cakicklighter Your comment is valid. There is a big difference between a narcissistic woman and an empathic one. Narcissistic women don't really know how to (or can't) genuinely love others.
Excellent explanation of the situation. I don't think most guys even consider this, but they get the uneasy feeling that they're being screwed on her timeline.
You absolutely nailed it!
I wish I could send this to my wife who
moved out recently but she probably isn’t ready to hear it.
Keep it up, I appreciate the honesty.
I was raised by the New Woman philosophy. When I married my husband, I was a terrible wife. But then I realized I married this man because I love him. Why not fix him a sandwich? I changed my mentality and became a good wife. He would tell me often that I was a good woman. He would brag about me to his friends. I fell so deeply in love with him when I changed how I treated him.
....and then he left me.
He went into business with another woman and prioritized her relationship over mine. He has given her an enormous amount of money. And when I finally confronted him about it, he moved out and is continuing the business with her. She is 22.
My heart is broken. We have been married for 13 years. He was my best friend. I just don't know what is happening. Its like he is not even the same person. 😢😢😢
I’m so sorry
If I may, your last sentence is quite possibly what he was thinking too when you changed your ways.
Taking your comments on face value, go after him for everything he has got and secure your future. He is a scoundrel not worthy of your love.
sorry about that. conversations are important. maybe he liked being treated bad more than being treated good, thats why he married you. its a hypothesis
Just one sandwich? You said he was your best "friend". Do you have the best sex of your life wuth your "friend". Mind blowing sex was one of the Dr's points. Were you using sex as a 'treat' as one might when training a dog? I want to hear his side before making a judgement.
If she wants 50/50 she can check the noise in the basement with me. Side by side 😂
very good and funny. I am married to a finance lawyer and we are 2 guys. I do our property management in 2 countries, I provide iwht all the invisible service and organize people for the garden, repairs, auto maintenance, vet services, groceries, and yes cleaning and I iron the shirts for his work. As he likes to cook its a way for him to relax... I need to have everything planed for that. Some of our women friends ask on how we have a very tranquil life... and I always say... he is the KING (everything is in function of him, because he brings the bucks) ... but I am the prime minister of managing our live. They are always confused. :DD. Because its my MISSION .... then its fun. Love your work and the format of your communication
You're not married, and your efforts to normalize degeneracy are not acceptable or welcome.
By far, one of the best shows I’ve watched since subscribing. So much so, even looked for the “donation based on what I thought the content was worth” link. However, did/do not see it. Anyways, you had me literally saying “Yes! Exactly!!” out loud. Thanks for putting words to what I have rattling around in my head regarding “modern women”
I have a cleaning service and dating apps are great...Marriage to a modern woman does nothing for me and is a complete waste of money and emotional energy....
Every woman gets to the point where their mere presence is no longer enough. They have to actually offer something in return.
That’s when you lose your house and kids.
They know, they just trying to be dominant, and they fall in love with those men that dominate them, female sense of love is so fucked up.
A woman often values herself based on her sexuality. Certainly this is appealing, but it is an appeal which assumes a smaller role over time. By concentrating on her looks and sexuality, a woman hastens the day when her man will look at her and feel boredom over what he once found cute and sexy. Time will tell if she has anything else to offer. Women who never learn this lesson end up as 40-yr old divorcees sitting in bars, still trying to bat their eyes and catch a man's attention.
women offer a lot, some men just love to diminish it and claim, that they do not demand a lot))).
Yes & looks fade. A beautiful woman dies twice.
If a woman is in her 30s and is looking to have a family, she is already in a bad situation. It takes at least a year to go from meeting someone to an engagement, and for the professional class there's a lot of negotiating that goes into figuring out what a marriage looks like. There's also the risk of meeting a guy who gaslights you into thinking he's marriage-minded but in reality just wants a girlfriend for a steady, consistent source of sex.
For all but the most attractive women, starting your search for a lifetime partner at 30 is likely simply too late and some sacrifices will have to be made in terms of family size or the overall quality of man she ends up with.
Most women can start at 30, find a reasonable husband and have 2 kids. But yes compromises need to be made. The really successful women I know started around 24, married 28-29, first child before 30. Sisters, they both have very handsome rich successful husbands. The man you get starting at 30 is not the man you would have got starting at 23.
At 30 if a man is single and attractive it’s because he’s had to work for 5-10 maybe 15 years to become the type of man that attracts a woman. A man that’s put that much effort isn’t going to suddenly take any woman. She must up her game because his value is rising, whilst many of her attractive features (eg: beauty, high fertility) are also starting to fade, because they’re tied to youth. And women can’t necessarily complain, since the things they’re asked for, like kids and cooking dinners, tend to be easier to provide than the things asked of many men, like a high income
Yes this so true. This is why it's called the "danger zone"
😂😂😂 True ! My female friend is a polish bartender from London is also in her 30s and she's always being victimized by men who just want to sleep with her. I tried to warn her many times but she's promiscuous so she's the one putting herself in that situation because she's the one choosing those men. She even let herself be used for sex for more than 6 months by an 18 year old kid. 😂😂😂 Now we're no longer friends she really hates me for calling her out on her stupid decisions.
@@ExamineeNumber0052 Literal case of FAFO 😄
You are so intelligent…and say the things others are afraid to say. Really love this channel!