Why MEN end up with TRAIN WRECKS: understanding your contribution to the problem
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2024
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The internet is full of information regarding the red flags of dating. Since this knowledge is widely available, why do men still end up in relationships with toxic women? The uncomfortable truth is that -- for a lot men -- it's not so much that they act in spite of the red flags, but that they act because of them. Secure, emotionally-stable, high-functioning men do not tend to end up with train wrecks. Using my own experience, in this episode I speak to how men are complicit in their own undoing when they refuse to acknowledge and heal their emotional wounding.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
The internet is full of information regarding the red flags of dating. Since this knowledge is widely available, why do men still end up in relationships with toxic women? The uncomfortable truth is that -- for a lot men -- it's not so much that they act in spite of the red flags, but that they act because of them. Secure, emotionally-stable, high-functioning men do not tend to end up with train wrecks. Using my own experience, in this episode I speak to how men are complicit in their own undoing when they refuse to acknowledge and heal their emotional wounding.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
Great video. Research about attachment styles and it will give you "deeper" understanding on why you were atracted to the toxic relasionships. There is a great book by Amir Levine called "Attached".
Hi Orion,I have recently watched your video "consumptive"within which you make strong statements about how women love,you seem quite angry and hurt,for which I feel compassion...I would really like to hear your definition of how men love because after all you are a man and inevitably have far more insight into your sex than myself. For what it's worth the characteristics I most value in men are kindness and laughter. I think we are all individuals and I wouldn't assign any other human being a number.The song "A dream of you and me" comes to mind.
That should have been...Future Islands "A dream of you and me".
You actually don't need to go into the spiritual that much to explain why you seem to resonate with the scars you have to these kinds of women.
When it comes to me and re-enacting my parents' dysfunction, I guess why I chose her was because I thought that the person that would befit me the most was someone who went through kind of the same ordeal as me, thinking she would be more considerate about it. In the end, we ended up rhyming history all over again, both not understanding why it had come to that. One thing that could be learned is not to search for self-pity in one's relationship I guess.
i gotta say man that the artwork on your vids are unique and attractive. they stand out. i dont see anything like it around this landscape which can be very difficult. respect.
At the age of 84, I can look back and see that I dealt with all three of these issues in various degrees throughout my youth and even into middle age.
I allowed women to hurt me and hurt me deeply while I would hurt them and not care as I felt that they had it coming ... there was absolutely no empathy in those relationships.
So I stopped dating and worked on my career, health, and financial goals. It's amazing how a toxic relationship can negatively affect your finances, physical, and mental health.
Then by pure happenstance, I met a woman who had the same goals and interests and we gradually developed a loving, spiritual, relationship. We eventually married and until her death, our life together was honest, joyous, meaningful, and fulfilling.
Wow what a touching story sorry for your loss i feel like working on your issues and problems in your life is always important before starting a relationship.
I dated my ex for two years, no serious red flags. But she was a chameleon. She changed completely right after the wedding. When I confronted her about this, her exact reply was "I acted that way during dating otherwise you wouldn't have married me." I was floored. I should have had the marriage annulled right then, but being a Christian man at that time, I tried to make it work. The marriage was horrible. The marriage counselor even said that I should divorce her with what she was doing. I lost everything in the divorce and was homeless for a year sleeping in my car.
Oh man, I'm so sorry you went through that ordeal. It's unfortunate, albeit impressive, that she was able to sustain a phony act for 2 years. I would think there must've been some hints or indications of her true nature. In what ways did she change after marriage?
I still don't understand how people "lose everything"
The sunk cost fallacy applied to relationships - that is how people lose everything.
Society's punishment for being born male.
I'm single and will never change that again. It's better for my finances, mental and physical health.
I hope you get back on your feet, brother!
Stay away from marriage...
The true test is to observe them when they think no one is looking. That is the only act that is not an act but who they truly are.
Edit: This is exactly why I think that God exists and why we are placed here to live in this miserable world- this world is one big test and our chance to show the Universe who we really are.
I finally found my girl. Then after 8 years she got sick and i lost her. I will always value those 8 years. I dont think most people get that, it was really good and easy.
What ive seen since with women has been...utterly godawful. Im folding with my 8.
Sorry for your loss, atleast you have great memories.
Good and easy. And a wonderful 20yrs. Same, I’m out.
Interesting
as the old saying goes "Its better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all"
what does folding mean
Quitting drinking made the biggest difference for me in shifting my psychology to something more productive, stable, and significantly more logical when interacting with people in general.
That's a nice way of putting it!...lol
Currently going through the same thing. I'm glad I read this. Very encouraging.
Good for you
@@dr5290 Refraining from drinking definitely keeps the narcs away. Likely in part because places such as bars and clubs are infested with them due to their need for narcissistic supply; that, at least in my case, I didn't pay much attention to their behavior when my brain was acclimated to alcohol (even when sober this had an effect); and that as a consequence of quitting, I was also able to notice their behavior pretty early on. I made some videos on narcissism on my channel.
@@OrwellNailedIt There are no such things as 'miracles' to the atheist, though. I am happy you managed to finally quit the chemical 'crutches' that you have leaned on for so long in your life.
I rather spend my time alone than with a train wreck.
You know what's crazy? I'm divorced I left a woman with BPD was an alcoholic and addicted pot smoker. I'm none of those lol. She hid it good but I ignored 5 or 6 red flags so it is my fault. But I was a criminal investigator and counter terror specialist. I won in the divorce and she got. nothing of mine and had to pay me for the equity in the home. I was good at law - no wait I was great at law. Anyway to the point I have 10 plus buddies on 2nd, 3rd and 4th marriages. They were all train wrecks. I asked in depth each one of them "WHY?". Each one said I'm afraid to be alone and would rather have the chaos than nothing. No longer to I bother hanging out with any of them. They are weak, stupid, sad BETAS and I'm just not.
They're not train wrecks, they just create them.
"We got along like a house on fire. I played the part of the house." - the best description of most of my relationships as a younger man.
Your comment is hilarious 😅
I plan to watch this 700 more times.
😅
Funny 😄
As you heal, your attractions really do change. Toxicity stops looking like excitement, and peace stops looking like boredom.
Thank You for this much needed info.
This will be a sign too that you are attracting good people and good women too.
Dam .. well said
I was attracted to insane and dangerous women for years until I looked at why I was. I traced it back to my mother and uncovered tons of abuse and neglect. After 6 years of growth and facing a lot of garbage I’m finally living the life I want, happy and productive.
Tip: look at who benifits from your dysfunction and you’ll find the source of the problem. Then get the f away from that person.
Congratulations, it's a messy process. I began my mine about a year ago and am grateful for the new knowledge about myself. In my case childhood emotional neglect is one major factor. Having a greater understanding about why I was attracted to certain women is liberating.
@@WCCXtra congrats on your realization, it’s worth the time and effort. It took me 5 years to fully understand the extent of my experience but worth every minute. It’s life changing.
I'm currently in the same process. Believed for my entire life to have been born a failure...and now, also thru therapy, i'm realizing the massive extent of the abuse and neglect in my childhood. It is truly a miracle i'm not in jail. It is a painful journey, and i know it will take years to get to a place where i'm fully happy with myself and my life, but it is the only way...the alternative is suicide.
Same here, my mother was physically and mentally abusive and very manipulative, setting me up as a fragile person that was attracted to incredibly destructive females. Dad was absent most of the time and was just as bad when he wasn’t. I endured psychological and even physical violence because I was hardwired to. Therapy helped me uncover those deep layers that set me up for failure end helped set me up for healing.
@@christoph3187 Hope you are doing better now, man.
I'd argue a variety of reasons some men end up with unstable women is:
1. Men are inexperienced and easily love-bombed by a woman's attraction to them thus fall into a relationship with such a woman with unstable emotions (dysfunctional) - very easily.
2. Men are generally less emotionally skilled at manipulation thus women with unstable emotions/mindset have an advantage in addition with the promise and drug of offering sex to men who are also not having their emotional-social needs met ie more vulnerable to such relationships.
3. Low self-esteem men or low status men will be more easily to manipulate by such women and be targetted by them for security for such women who have an idea of some of their weird behaviour but block it out with justifications. IE they'll settle for such a person and avoid someone who "brokes no bs".
4. In broad strokes women are more emotionally oscillating and also more demanding from relationships at all levels of functional and dysfunctional thus many men are clueless about the correct/healthy boundaries to pursue with women.... as a base line - which is something learnt via experience with women eg I think boys who have sisters in a stable family probably end up with an advantage later on with respect to experience with women... from the start.
The magic spell which removes this deficiency is when a man has experience of sane, functional people ie women and then can use that as a standard vs dysfunctional behaviour and not tolerate it aka the slang phrases: "Don't stick your D in C!" or "The juice is not worth the squeeze" etc. There's an immediate/apparent critical faculty engaged or warning of the need to.
Finally the above is indeed exceedingly serious:
1. Alimony = Hundreds of Thousands in cash and in your life-blood exchanged in time worked TAKEN from you at the drop of a whim.
2. Damage to innocent children
3. Emotional stress causing ill mental and physical health
4. Damage to your good relationships that support you
The video would do well to emphasize the nature of the train-wreak + car-pile up of such relationships is deadly serious.
Very elaborate. Thank you kind Sir. It’s a struggle for the men who are looking for genuine love.
@@bronzePower As said if you meet a woman who is very functional/sane/compassionate/balanced then you have a yardstick to measure against so that's really helpful via experience. Secondly and I think this is maturity, is one's concept of love changes from emotional-passionate-pleasurable to appreciation-sacrifice-faith in the woman you love and vica-versa sort of death of your ego in a sense. But it does as above need the right woman or you're in for a disaster. The dysfunctional women are probably from dysfunctional parenting and standards is my guess to that source which in turn leads to negative outcomes in behaviour and psychology. Otherwise a virtuous woman as quoted from one of the world's great prophets is man's greatest treasure aka another quote by from the same source: "The future of man is between the legs of a woman". It is true one way or another.
1 and 3 are true and huge factors in what I see with many men. It almost hurts my soul to see many guys just fall for women that show just a little interest in them . They get sucked into this void very quickly and you can’t talk much sense into them. Fwiw I’ve seen many women fall for guys in the same manner - they just get engulfed and then usually gamed and then they end up even more jaded and desperate
Well put! imo as you also said is that many men do not understand women, they think women will act as logically as their male friends and when they don’t, those men really don’t have the patience to understand women’s nature earlier on in the relationship
Also men can be too desperate sometimes to get any girl than to wait or choose the right girl
@@commentarytalk1446 Reasonable comments from you here but for that last quote you'll need to prove its authenticity, for I've never heard such hadith. Not even weak one, let alone authentic. It just sounds too perverse, not in line with Sunnah. And saying that the Prophet said something he didn't, is a lie against him, so you better be cautious, if you actually appreciate and follow him.
I used to attract damaged men due to my own issues. My dad called me up one day when I was struggling in such a relationship. He said, "Honey, this guy has more problems than you do." I realized my dad saw that I was flawed and also correctly perceived the situation. From that point I started to heal.
Such a shame arranged marriages aren’t that prevalent in the west no more, daddy usually knows best…
@@j.davila4523 they tried that with the "Kiss Dating Goodbye" movement. Daddy's didn't know best and shackled their daughters to men who were very good at being nice to dad while hiding they were drug abusers, alcoholics, physically abusive, or homosexual.
I actually like the idea of families arranging DATES for kids. But not marriages.
interesting, but arranged marriages, afaik, has little to do with the relationship between the father and the to-be son-in-law. it is supposed to be about the family compatibility more than anything else.
but since western society is centered around the individual, this aspect gets lost at times, and which in this case, makes it unrealistic to achieve a successful arranged marriage situation.
Yes, we all are damaged in some way. Until we dig deep to find our triggers of unresolved trauma, we'll keep repeating the same patterns.
Bingo! I married my ex because she was the best that I thought that I could get at the time. She was sexy, had a nice set of hooters, a pretty face, and a Brazilian accent. To be honest, I saw all of her red flags, and there were many, but I married her anyway. It was a completely miserable marriage.
After that marriage, I came into being, healing. Then, I did the hire slowly, fire quickly. I’ve been with a wonderful woman for the last seven years. It’s been easy and we work well together. Neither of us wants marriage nor cohabitation. It took me some more learning and five years after my divorce to find her, but she was worth the hunt.
I'm 40.. Widower dad of a 6 year old girl.
With age comes maturity and with maturity comes wisdom.
It's super easy for me to see red flags right off the bat today.
If a woman tells you she just got out of an abusive relationship RUN TO THE HILLS
Fact!.
Women are able to spot toxic men from a mile away, they just choose whether to engage or not on their own accord. If she got out of an abusive relationship that translates to “He ran me up and I got tired of trying to control this beast. It was fun and exciting but I’m exhausted now.”💯
10+ internetz say you get looked at like a creeper as a single dad
Fellow 40yo here. Spotting toxic women is as natural as breathing for me now. All I need is 5 minutes and 3 questions.
@@forgottenfuryan lol I took my daughter to the park on Saturday and when it was time to return home she started a tantrum..... As we were walking a guy in his 50s yelled from afar asking if I knew her (my daughter)
This was sooo fascinating! I went through a period of being the "nice, stable woman" that men attempted to date after leaving a toxic relationship (even a year after the breakup). They always ended up going back to their toxic ex or dated another toxic woman. I used to internalize that and think something was wrong with me and eventually stopped dating altogether for a while. Now I steer clear of men who have recently gotten out of a toxic relationship and encourage them to seek healing. This really helped me understand what was going on with them. Thank you!
where does one find the non toxic women. Not on the dating sites.
@@FiredtoFreedom people recommend doing activities you love, going to parks, cafes, bookstores, etc and strike up conversations with people. Don't use pick up artist tactics, just talk to people like they're humans that you're interested in getting to know.
@FiredtoFreedom there are lots out there. The problem is that men put too much value on physical attraction and of course not many women are considered as commercially beautiful but they are the best human beings.
"I can fix her."
You can try but the man or women has to want to be fixed good luck
Don't we all
Egoistic white knighting.
This is hardwired into us. Omg. So much... And this is the only thing which causes th downfall.
Trauma can't fix trauma.
You can fix your sink, car, house... Heck, given enough time, you can probably fix a black hole, then the universe. But those are plausible things, women aren't.
I can relate to reason 2, i.e. a lot of low value men, will think all they can get and all they deserve is a train wreck, and that they should be lucky to even get a train wreck. If you are a young thirsty man with zero options, it is extremely difficult to have standards and turn down a train wreck. Its sounds opportunistic and desperate but it is true.
after years of hunger even a soggy half eaten burger starts to look good
Sounds like a nightmare wow
I mean for me I've just had health issues that have made being around other people very difficult so when some 8/10 in looks girl with charisma wants to drive me around and have fun I'm not gonna say no but I probably should try and just stay friends only. Be very wary of very good looking women that seem too good to be true hint: they are.
The solution to that is to become a better version of yourself, and often the first step towards that is therapy.
Absolutely truth. Tons of “simps” that feel the need to take what they can get or watch pron forever.
The solution is simple yet difficult. If one treats marriage like a duty, a lot of these problems would disappear. Both the husband and the wife must discharge their duties towards each other, whether they like it or not. Accountability, or rather lack thereof, is one reason. We all fall in the entrapment of our emotions.
This is a code most men live by, verbal agreement of loyalty must be seen as a life bond and oath. Most husbands view their duties to their families as a non-negotiable, even in the absence of their own unhappiness. Husbands aren’t the ones who walk out on their families, wives do. For women, it’s not about the oath itself, it’s about how beneficial the oath is/will be to her, which is why when it no longer serves them, they break away from it.
women hate it, you know that. They won't abide unless there is a threat of violence or societal shaming
I owe no duties to a female who fails to honor my authority yet happily accepts my responsibility. Responsibility without authority equals slavery. Until females are women raised by patriarchal fathers and willingly submissive moms and respect these figures as natural and just, there will be few, if any, women worthy of our providership, patriarchy, and protection.
@@kimilsungthefirst6840Pretty much.
The trouble is women are rewarded to break the marriage contract.
Fully agree - got married to high school sweetheart. The signs were present for NPD, but I didn't really see it until I said no and that triggered her to attack - via a nasty divorce and even more nasty custody case. We need to educate our kids so they don't repeats our mistakes.
NPD is such a horrible thing... most of these people cannot be saved
No the collective population needs to get on fixing equality in divorce and family court. It will not only create a more moristic society with equality but it will benefit the children the most.
Unfortunately I think society discards men even men discard themselves. I wasted a lot of time in the mrm as a mra for years I believed the general population wants equality if they were just aware of the inequalities in the laws something would be done. About pizzagate time a number of inequalities were brought to light and nothing. Nothing happened. People were aware and they didn't care including men themselves. I was quiet jaded by the experience and just walked away from it all.
@@michellemariejanewalsh5302 Im not sure what you meant by 'moristic'? couldnt not find that word in the dictionary, nor could I guess what you were intending to say. But I agree, making the courts more fair & balanced would be ideal. But . . . lawyers & judges would starve to death, and we couldnt have that!
@@inconnu4961 moralistic
I find it so interesting as well how many women immediately show off their red flags in their online dating profiles. In my 30’s I’ve gotten better with saving myself from obvious headaches.
The thing with getting older is you can
Spot red flags from miles away. The last few women I’ve talked threw up a couple red flags after 10 minutes of conversation.
And they're CELEBRATED for it. Men have an unappealing quality, they better work on it. Women? Well you should just "accept her just the way she is". Craziest thing is, they don't even WANT the guys who'd stomach this. But, incapable of self-reflection, it must be ALL men. Seriously. And these are the ones that get to raise kids by default.
Oh man, This. Women on dating apps seem to be trying hard to NOT get picked. It is weird and i always wondered if everyone is noticing this.
its a very good way for women to be left with unexoerinced men that they can have more leverage /power and expeince over... women love to have the power to be the heartbreaker once they have too much baggage
Same
I was raised by a woman that was emotionally unavailable. Sometime after the age of 40, I had an epiphany one day when I realized that all of the toxic relationships I had experienced was because I was attracted to other emotionally unavailable women whom I was using vicariously to try to 'fix' the relationship with my mother. Normal, sane and stable women bored me to tears, for the reasons stated in the video. My solution has been to avoid all relationships for the last 25 years. I now have the opportunity to start a relationship with a good woman and I will take to heart the advice given in the video to make this one last. Thanks for the insight!
You have about a 45% chance of that working out for you. Just remember at your age, if you get it wrong you will end up homeless and peniless living in the gutter when you are an old man. Don't do it, its a trap. Have relationships but no marriage.
@@jb-xc4oh you could also suggest a prenup. Telling someone to engage in serial-monogamous short term relationships isn’t exactly great for mental health.
Prenups aren't worth the paper they are written on. Judges in family court routinely rule them not applicable.@@che4840
Yeah I'm wondering if my mom was like this. She's a borderline narcissist but not malicious generally. I can't really pinpoint what's the deal with me. Probably should talk to Orion about it.
I cannot believe you don't have 10 times the number of subscribers that you have. Your videos are so insightful and informative.
I grew up in a chaotic household too. Went to rehab twice when I was younger. I still find myself only being attracted to women with issues. I guess I haven't done the work yet to heal myself from my younger perceptions of myself. This is spot on, getting together so you can re-enact your traumas and wounds on each other.. Gives me chills.
At this point I think they all have issues. It just depends on which subscription you're willing to buy!
@@AR7271 ahah this
@@AR7271 fr lol
Codependency and childhood wounding. That’s serves most everyone today as nearly everyone is codependent from childhood crap
Listen to some audio books on it. Just don’t get codependent no more. Very old book during the alcoholic anonymous era
Anyone attracting toxic people need to heal these things if u ever want a healthy relationship
Chech this guys reaching Gabor Mate!👍
It is not your job to fix people. Imagine the person you are dating now doesn't change and remains the way they are for the next 5 years.Does that thought scare you? If the answer is yes, you probably shouldn't be dating them.
I have always thought this concept is a bit of a cop out. As men it's out job to fix and build everything. This includes people.
How to do that is the question. You must be fixed first. Second you can't let them break your world. Jesus would dine with the sinners to spread the word. He did not ask them to move into is house.
Besides I don’t think you can fix people. You can point them towards therapy or medication but that’s about it. I find many women want and almost expect men to come in and save them from
Their problems or somehow make them happy. Not reality
@@ArizonaVideo99eww man I wish you luck in trying to fix women that have deep issues. If they have
Minor anxiety or depression then you might be able to help but more than that and you will end up exhausting yourself
@@ArizonaVideo99you must be young. There are lots of unfixable people out there. Personality disorders, Asperger’s, mild autism, the whole lot. They can present themselves as normal for a short time, but eventually can’t keep up the act anymore, and get worse with age. And more men are afflicted with these than women. Basically an inability to feel. No amount of therapy can fix this. I grew up thinking that even serial killers just needed love to stop. So much naïveté.
@@Bubbles-od2tv I'm 60. My point is not just for woman. Its not about saving them but making the world better by making yourself better and then making everything you touch better.
Nightmares and train wrecks, the story of my "love" life. At forty it dawned on me I was the common denominator and realized I would be happier alone. I haven't dated since. I'm sixty-one now and have grown comfortable with solitude. I wish I hadn't been attracted to problematic women, but there was something about me that kept falling for them. The trauma stopped being worth the effort. I still meet nice women in my dreams, but in real life I know better. It's sad, but love doesn't work out for everyone, and life can be good enough without it.
Can I ask, I'm 40 and I don't want nor feel like dating women. Would you recommend the single life?
@@MrKanrabat I can recommend it to anyone who is well suited to it. Given the feelings you indicate, you might be one of them. It doesn't have to be a final decision. You can just go by how you feel from day to day, year to year. I wouldn't necessarily refuse a healthy relationship that hit me in the face, but It's been so long now, I don't even think about it. On Friday and Saturday nights, going out looking for women is the furthest thing from my mind. The only thing I'm thinking is, Yay, time to relax! No one to worry about! If you are temperamentally disposed to peace and solitude, like I am, there is no reason why you need someone else to be the most content you you can be.
@@timelston4260 It's kinda sad though that some woman did you so bad that you gave up on women.
Exactly. Thank you!! I see men go for the dumpster cat all the time.
Basically, you attract who you are at a subconscious level based on external conditioning and patterns. Once the unconscious becomes conscious (through self-reflection) and you work on it, you change within and attract likewise.
BS you attract who your evil parents taught you to think you are. Men are typically far better than we think we are.
What if you do not attract anything/anybody?
No, it’s not about who you attract it’s about who you choose to be with.
@@marino5652more work, healing takes more than you imagine.
@@marino5652you do, but you either don’t notice it or you haven’t liked the girls who have been attracted to you so far.
The whole "going for women with obvious flaws because you can tell yourself its not serious" definitely aligns with me. I'd consider myself a very responsible person, but when I could not be as responsible as I would have liked, I often found myself trying to convince myself to get involved with a "safe option" like you described. It happened twice, using the same exact reasoning. Our minds are very clever, and I think this was a very round about way of me getting my rocks off without commitment. Usually I would stay far away from involving myself with anyone without commitment, and its really not my personality, but this idea of being with someone that was obviously flawed was easy for me to fall for. There's a certain power you give yourself too in these situations, because you hold the life expectancy of this relationship in your court, and sometimes I found myself thinking " wow I am doing this girl a favor," and etc. Its a bad loophole for us to feel desired and get affection without really being responsible, and without giving ourselves a stable future. These situations taught me a lot about how skilled we are at manipulating the reality to justify what we do. Great talk!
You are getting off on the fact that you get to use women like puppets??
@@QwertyQwerty-eq7th What are you saying lol no one is celebrating that.
My 5 month fling/relationship with a stripper 7 years younger than me is coming to an end. This is exactly what I needed to hear right when I need it. I tried to do everything right and have nothing to show for it...
the SEXIER a woman looks.... the more wildly unstable she is.... because all of their lives they were given high levals of attention and it altered their Brains... a sleazy woman is sexy because we only think of sex when we see them and we produce that energy thru thought... But we love only what we can trust.. and this concept understanding only comes thru time for Men..
Five months isn't a fling
You'd have more to show for it if you waited until marriage to have sex, then had only unprotected nookie, like our ancestors all did.
Made that mistake once, never again. Stay far away from any girl in the sex industry.
as soon as you said stripper there was no reason to read the rest...
@@harrybellingham98I’m shocked…
Well, not that shocked…
My first marriage ended in disaster, I only found out at the end when her mother said to me "You knew what you were marrying, she's a taker" and a close friend said "she never loved you and only married because her father had made the cake". How do we not see the lies.?
Great points, Orion.
I think something else to consider is that a lot of times we seek out other people with toxic traits or problems because it gives us a free pass and dismisses us from the responsibility of actually changing ourselves. Very few people are willing to ACTUALLY change.
So true! A lot of people don't even know they have problems. It takes a big enough failure and a certain amount of self-reflection for some to begin the process.
Yep. Most listen then go on doing the next thing. Listening is easy. Change is hard. And as you said mosey don’t take the opportunity that was the lesson for it to actually be the lesson and like staying in grade one forever to rinse and repeat acting like “I don’t know why I didn’t get the results I wanted”
It’s why I write down every lesson from a video in a notebook and do weekly reviews and daily work and check in with my progress how I handled situations
I don't think I've ever met an emotionally stable woman.
that's women in general
Wow
@@shaktigovender2536 Case in point: no argumentation, just an emotional display.
I have, they were all in a harmonious relationship with their husbands and were happy parenting. Their kids were also emotionally stable. There aren't many, but there are. They are as valuable among the humans as diamonds are on the jewelry market. They are wonderful women, they don't nag you, don't emasculate you, but rather comfort you and push you toward a better mutual life. It's sensational. They may not be the best looking (sometimes they are truly gorgeous) in terms of general idea of beauty, but their beauty is fed from their personality. And that's just empowering. Try to look elsewhere man. Hope you'll be able to find such a woman.
@@zp5808 They may look from afar as if they are but they aren't. I noticed you didn't say if you had one or not. I have had one in the past, even been married, it doesn't last.
Was with her ten years, lead Physiotherapist at the local hospital, got married to give her her special day. She left 18 months later after she gained twenty kilos and went berserk on booze and food, went off with some other winner who taught her to doctor shop pain meds. Dead at 37.
I think your best one yet! Really apppreciate your work! ❤
This is speaking to me - and I'm a woman. I think it's applicable for everyone. Especially the safety part. We pull back often when there is a real good and interesting and smart man because it feels so dangerous and the stakes are so high.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your personal past. As you briefly alluded to in the end, Literally everything you said can be said in reverse regarding why women end up in train wrecks. I can relate fully as a woman to everything you said by simply switching the genders.
Literally lol. It legitimately works both ways
Absolutely. It's humans in general, not just women.
I had the same experience. Around 29-30 years old (maybe too late), I started that process that led me to only be attracted to emotionally stable women. Today I'm 36 and I'm in search, at least knowing what I really want: a healthy relationship with a high quality woman.
Good luck to you. Seek and you will find.
I’m 21 and I feel you
At your age a lot are already in a relationship.
Too late mate
You will most likely not find
I’m 59 years old, and you just nailed me to the wall. Cannot tell you the hundreds and hundreds of videos I watched on relationships, narcissism, etc. etc. Came up exactly the way you did experience the same thing you did with relationships with many beautiful women, down the same avenues. You are the Karen and Melanie King for the men. I have a feeling I’ll be reaching out to you. Enjoy your content. It is real, authentic and the truth. Thank you. Subbed
To put it quite simply, you are hands down the best I've seen at explaining things in a clear and concise way without wasting time on the things we already know. Amazing.
When I was at university I met this beautiful blonde haired, brown eyed, crazy young woman. I thought to myself, “I pity the guy who ends up with that one!”
We’ve been married 33 years in August.
Do you pity yourself?
@@zvishineweather8962 not usually… but every once in a while…😉😂
😅
How did you end up marrying her?😅
@@CC-2020 she visited her ex-boyfriend I went to university with. There was a fall social that she, my female cousin and my ex gf (her roommate!) went to. We started talking and dancing (mostly in an attempt to avoid our exes) and had a great night together. We lived in different cities so I went to visit her and after she graduated she moved to the city I was in and we started dating proper.
Excellent video. "limping gazelles"--classic! There are many videos on RUclips, with men blaming damaged women, followed by thousands of guys joining in a chorus of blame, with very few ever owning the, "Gee, I'm kinda F'd up myself--maybe it's me." Your content is helpful.
I can testify to this. I attracted the broken when I was broken. And I took several years to heal. And just like that, I attracted what I was “vibrationally” matched with.
Orion, this is not the first time you've mentioned your problematic upbringing in your videos. Somehow I feel moved every time. Please know I feel for you. And you can be proud of who you are now after overcoming all the hardships.
As a woman, I resonate very closely with these 3 things, especially the feeling of having only 2 unattractive options. The self-improvement work I've been doing the last couple of years has given me some 'emotional freedom', so to speak. I have been experiencing a similar shift in what I'm attracted to, and I am finding it MUCH easier to be truly and respectfully honest with myself and others. Thanks for the content, Doc!
What self improvements?
@johngalt6838 Hi John! Thanks for your interest.
Talk therapy has provided me with several tools that are tailored to my strengths. These tools help me to identify moments of emotional dysregulation in real time so that I can provide myself with an immediate solution to help avoid/alleviate strong outbursts. It has also helped me to become a better communicator and a MUCH better listener!
Daily practices such as journaling, meditation, organizing something, and physical activity (a walk is plenty, I'll do more if needed) can help to keep my emotional maintenance at healthier levels. There are other things, too, and this list will vary for everyone.
I have improved my self-image and my internal dialogue through daily affirmations. I no longer hear my childhood abuser(s) voice(s) in my head telling me how awful I am, and that has been paramount in my healing process. Catering to the different versions of my inner self when needed has made it easier for me to achieve that 'happiness' mindset. I still struggle, I'm not perfect, and that is truly OKAY!
Beyond all of that, I enjoy following and watching RUclips influencers like Dr. Taraban, who share their knowledge and life experience in this area.
I hope this response is helpful for you and others, John. What brings you here to this video and comment section? How have your relationships (good and bad) shaped your life? What are you doing now, or what have you done to help make your life better?
❤️
You nailed it. A decade of therapy and I never connected the pieces till this moment. Thank you
So many men talk about how they had "sexual craziness" while some of us never ever got even a kiss.
It feels like humble bragging. We did not even have that option.
You just dodged some bullets without even knowing it, or costing you.
The male figures in your life failed you...
@@marktapley7571also this
I don't know mate, my body count is very humble though looking back I miss very few of them gals but much more often I just wonder why the hell I even was making out with all them
exactly. I envy the men who date these bat shit crazy women.
I realized the same thing about myself over a decade ago. After getting out of a turbulent relationship, I met a woman and had strong chemistry. We went out to get drinks, and she casually mentioned she had a boyfriend, and had cheated on him before. It was then that I realized I was latching onto those "limping gazelles" myself.
I specially resonate with the 3rd point. I think a good woman is wasted on me. Whenever I find a woman that I genuinely like, I want them to get with somebody better than me. This has been such an eye opener.
gotta make yourself that person
@@grantwithers yes!
In my experience, I've pretty much always been the emotionally stable one so the reverse has been true for me. I'm not the "bad boy" so once they find out I'm decent they usually start looking for the exit
Those people don’t deserve you anyways, best of luck to ya
Perhaps you need therapy as to why you are attracted to these bottom feeders.
I've had this problem because I worked on my social skills and physical attractiveness heavily when I was in my 20s. It ate my self esteem to a point where I felt almost worthless. Now I think that a lot of women wanted me for a fling, but they were afraid when they saw that I had so much depth. Maybe they were afraid that they'd love me? (some did and it turned out bad) Maybe they were afraid that I'd read them and uncover their games? (but the thing is I was seeing their games, that's what attracted me in the first place…)
@@florianb3935 bingo - we do it to ourselves. We cant reject the wrong ones. we lack something. the truth is - its easy (to say not do) but you just gotta keep going - dont let them break you, try and walk away from the bad ones, and open yourself up to something that feels a little too safe.
This rings true for me. I almost left a fantastic woman because fighting and the roller coaster had become my familiar. The scars ran deep and I really needed to take a good hard look at myself
How did you do it? The person you fought w/ was your ex?
Unbelievable Orion. You continue to slay with unmatched articulation.
I often like women who are quiet, reserved, modest, Conservative, peaceful and being non toxic. My mother had these traits too.
we all do. smell the fucking coffee.
i agree with this
@@chuckiegravesfield3170 No you don't. And that is not a nice way to address someone.
Dude just pressed replay on my most of my life story…. Literally.
I needed to hear this.
Thanks a bunch.
Respect from Luanda, Angola 🇦🇴
terrifying how accurate you are in regards to this.
Great Title, I did that but corrected my problems. My eyes and mind opened with pain and time. One of my most valuable lessons.
Now I understand better why my relationship with my ex ended up. Until now, he still thinks I have been the most loving woman he has ever met in his life but he is not capable of loving me. I have given everything to this man and accepted him for who he is no matter the challenges. And he couldn’t understand why I was with him. At the end, he cheated on me with a girl that he knew was not marriage material but he could brag about in front of his friends. Acceptance is hard to accept when we are so wounded inside out. From my side, it has helped me to identify some patterns and seek for a stable partner like me. Let's stay positive!
"every deep thinker is more afraid of being understood than misunderstood"
this is true, its like a fear of NOT being indifferent
This also applies to women! After doing therapy I don’t find the man who ghosted me attractive anymore 😂 sounds stupid for healthy people? But I was so attracted to him 😅😢
The man that you are with now will always be second to the bad boy you truly crave
I ghosted just once. She called my mom that it was ok she just wanted the return of her 8-Track compilation tapes and brownie pans.
Just assume every woman you pursue is crazy with a ton of problems. Do not get too attached or invest too heavily in the relationship until she proves otherwise.
How about this.... Finding what I thought was a nice woman, who started treating me like shit after I married her. I had a great childhood and family. When she showed open disrespect and contempt for me, i was confused. I had never been treated like that by anyone in my whole life. I just withdrew.
Since I thought she was a nice girl, I began to think something must be wrong with me. But some of these disrespectful incidents seemed so insane and disconnected from anything related to my behavior that I stayed confused. I'm still confused... But, I don't put up with her disrespect anymore.
Yes, being brought up in a calm, stable environment can breed naivety. I used to think at heart everyone was rational, honest and fair. Unfortunately not true.
@@fiveleavesleft6521 Yes, I'll have to agree. I was just not fully aware of how completely out of touch a person can be with the mere practice of calm, polite interpersonal interactions
A few things that left me bewildered...
- Getting berated and her displaying anger with me for not noticing that the Google maps directions I printed up only took us to the middle of the zip code since the street we were headed to was brand new and not recognized by the app. It was for a meeting that turned out to be little more than a sales pitch. The whole thing amounted to nothing in the end. So in essence, she ripped me a new one for what amounts to a basic human mistake with no malice or ill intent. Was there an apology after? Hahaha! That's funny. I never heard the word "sorry" ever come out of her mouth in the first 10 years of our marriage.
- Told after a conflict with another person that "any other man on Earth would have known how to handle it".
- Her opening a rather expensive necklace I gave her for Christmas, only to have her toss it aside like it was worthless without her even looking at me, much less saying a polite "thank you". And then to have her come up to me later to discuss my "stupidity" ..
Her: I have a question, why did you get me a necklace?
Me: It's beautiful and I thought it would look fantastic on you.
Her: I had surgery. You know that, right? I have a scar. You can see that, right? I haven't been wearing necklaces lately, so why would you do that?
And then she walked away.
Sounds like a woman 😂
@@rougebaba3887don't feel bad. That's normal woman behavior. She is doing that because you treat her nicely. That's just female nature. If you started pampering yourself and buying your own necklaces and looking like a don Juan her whole attitude would change.
@@rougebaba3887 and you're still with her? Man you guys really must enjoy being disrespected
I think you're right, Taraban. I look at it from three perspectives. #1 People change in time. I estimate about every 7 years most people are significantly different than they were. Maybe it's 5 years, maybe it's 10 years. I'm sure it's different for everyone. Needs change, money changes, attitudes, life experiences and hopefully we mature away from stupid things. Just look at our incarcerated population and you'll see people who never figure it out. #2 As we get older, we discover life is about choices and compromises because perfection does not exist and nobody gets everything they want. #3 Once you figure out what you want from women, or the other sex, life becomes calm. Men ultimately want order. My thoughts.
Well said!
as for the last point it seems to rule out rel.ship.(wreck)ing with xx.s again at all, then.
These thumbnails are awesome
I've been in three train-wreck relationships myself. At first it wasn't easy to see the red flags. But eventually they revealed themselves and I was forced, for the sake of my own sanity and personal and financial safety, to end all three relationships. Since my picker is way off, and most women don't like how I look anyway, I'm better off alone.
So true, once you work on yourself and calm your own inner turmoil, you become very sensitive to women who will demand everything from you while only offering drama and crises in return. It's a journey that starts from the inside. I think women can benefit from this video too because the path to a peaceful, long term partnership is mostly gender neutral.
It is. Even flings (a few weeks together) actually can benefit from that. Not only I've lived the same story as him, I also suffered a lot after each fling. I'm not totally sure how, but seeing the same places I went with her, doing the same things I'd do with her, was triggering some slight disgusts for a couple months after each relationship. Probably more and longer than the happiness of the relationship itself. I guess unconsciously I knew that I was doing something bad, so there was some guilt trying to knock at the door, and I'd have to resist it.
This is great content.
Train wrecks attract train wrecks.
A few men have treated me like I was a trainwreck.
My current fella loves me as I am and I'm blossoming in beautiful new ways.
Feels like the kind of real love I learned about while working in nursing homes.
If they were to write here, your ex-es would surely describe you as a "train wreck," whatever that is. It amazes me how humans cannot overcome their ego and biases. If she was a train wreck, maybe because you were not exactly activating the leisurely "horse and carriage" in her. Another might.
This is EXCELLENT brother. Thank you for your bravery, vulnerability & honesty
This is literally my dating strategy. Hold on dating, heal, learn/prepare, and then later move on what’s now much safer and higher quality because of who I’ve become.
Hypergamy baby….works every time.
I've known a few train wrecks. They were fun, for awhile, there were two that I was serious about. I grew up in a stable family and generally had good self esteem, but I was a late bloomer and in a desire to make up for lost time and/or gain experience I took what I found available. I had no experience with train wrecks, but I learned. Now it seems that there are a lot of train wrecks out there, the good ones are already taken. The train wrecks can be a fun adventure, but you're right, you feel safe because you know you are not serious. The thing is a relationship with a train wreck will self destruct.
Real PsycHacks and lifehacks - glad that you shared them. Kudos! For those that are ready to grow these are surely pathbreaking! All the best to all boys who need healing - you can do it!
Notice the sentence that confidence and selfesteem grow out of doing something difficult, demanding, challenging - not out of taking the easiest path.
Thanks for always telling the plain and simple truth. Why isn’t this stuff taught in our youth?
Agreed
Sadly, there haven't been enough people who know this stuff to teach it to us. Maybe the next generation will get that benefit.
Men thinking with their middle "head" when they see a beauty, end up with "trainwrecks"
Spot on on all three - I would add that you can acknowledge those things to yourself (especially the second one) when you did the work and when you have access to high quality women as a consequence of your success on several fronts - looks, career, maturity, sense of worth etc.. Before getting to that spot...you just don't have enough of a foundation to stand on and to look at things rationally and from a strong perspective
the hardest thing to do after being rejected by a quality woman is telling yourself I m not gonna lower my standards and start dating subpar women, i d rather be single.
What I've experienced in drips and drabs, you have succinctly summed up in one 10 minute video. It took a lot of letting down my guard and being honest with myself. Thanks again.
I always knew that I was part of the problem however I didn't know where to start improving. Thanks, for sharing and remind us that in the end of day is our responsibility, we were the ones allowing train wreckages.
Yeah, I agree a follow up video talking about how people fix what they have to fix within themselves. I mean, it's too abstract to hear how @Orion fixed himself first before meeting that partner.
Very true, looking in the mirror right now. I grew up in a good household, but used to be very shy. That's why I chased "gazelles with limps". I still do to a degree. I've always been afraid of good women. I guess they reveal my inadequacies and make me feel insecure. Hard to break such habits - but it is changing as of late.
No one has an amazing childhood. Repressed memories and selective memory is going on.
You hav codependency and childhood wounding.
Therapy. Audio books. Workbooks.
Called out by the title turned into being called out by the discussion. I really needed this video. Thank you, Dr.
If we look at most of the failed relationships, the red flags were there from the beginning. Often time we tend to ignore them thinking that we can correct them or we can transform the significant other with time, which will eventually fails miserably.
Another aspect is that most of the time the sex is great in toxic, unstable relationships. This is on the key reasons why despite there are so many issues prevailing, the relationship is dragging forward somehow.
Besides, this is how the universe functions. The scale never gets balanced. If one aspect is great, then most probably another aspect is low. If a relationship is healthy, stable & peaceful, there is a high chance for it to have less sexual fireworks. Vice versa, if a relationship has a high sexual roller coaster rides, then a high chance for it to experiences lot of drama, issues, high emotional & stability fluctuations.
The sex tends to be great imo because most toxic unstable women are easily sexually available, promiscuous and into a lot degrading sexual things due to their traumatic upbringing/any abuse they endured. Like a lot of women who are sexual abused/grew up without a father all seem to be into like rapey/powerplay fantasies. They're not even good or skilled in bed a lot of the time since they're basically reliving childhood sexual trauma, they're just "easier" to get into bed and to control in bed for a man who...probably lacks the social skills to attract a mentally healthy passionate sexual woman.
Most men have bad sexual pallets anyway due to porn and traumatic upbringing so when a guys says a woman is good in bed they usually mean she had no standards, limits, and he did whatever he wanted. The few guys I've been with have been shocked by how high my sex drive is but I have strong boundaries and don't put up with a lot so only certain men have been able to see that sexual side of me. I don't even let certain men approach me since I know if were not emotional compatible, were not going to be sexually compstible. Most men are bad at sexually stereotyping too because they're not in touch with their own emotions.
A reserved and controlled woman is usually the opposite of frigid but it takes more effort, on the man's part, to satisfy a sexually assertive woman with a high sex drive than it does to get satisfy a toxic woman who's just reliving childhood abuse through sex.
Sex is all about emotions, its why empathic people are generally better at it and it feels better when you're emotionally connected to the person you're doing it with. Even if the emotional connection is a toxic one, that's why people have to work on themselves. It's hard for people to fool me or get anything past me so, the few emotionally damaged who've pursued me usually never made it past talking. I never even plan it that way, that's just how it tends to play out.
They want the "easy" toxic emotionally damaged woman because like the emotionally damaged man she also lacks any patience/sexual discipline and will give all of herself after barely knowing the man in question, but she quickly exhausts herself and then lashes out at her partner in some way and the toxic cycle repeats itself.
One easy way to spot this is if the person in question has children and what their relationship with the parent is. Toxic emotional/sexual bonds create a lot of single parent homes/broken homes/ fatherless homes. Its why I don't date men who have children from a previous relationships if they are under 18 because, I'd say 70% of the time, they're still sleeping with their child's mother on occasion, especially if they give her any financial support. Men without sexual discipline tend to create the broken homes they came from, in order to maintain a steady supply of control/sex from the emotion damaged woman/mother, even if they no longer love her. I've noticed that in dating many of these men push for intimacy early too.
Yes and no. One aspect to consider is the chameleon factor where women are are really good at hiding red flags not just from the guy but his friends and family too. The other thing is some of women's red flags traditionally in society have been passed off as just being female nature something to laugh about rather than actually be concerned about.
WOW!!! that's very insightful, and maybe true, I'm not sure.
How absolutely true this is. Allow me to add. Most men and women have suffered trauma. Acceptance is a rare gem that burns their souls and so they subconsciously prefer rejection.
What I have come to learn it is the duty of every individual notwithstanding their gender to grow into maturity and deal with their demons before committing to their partners. Should they not have healed from their trauma it is their duty to make this disclosure from the onset and work towards self improvement.
If you work on yourself, you heal yourself and make the relationship between you and your partner even more exciting.
I like how your videos are slowly but surely getting longer over the last few months
I enjoy it keep up the amazing work
Solid advice. I myself formed a toxic relationship with a woman who was bi polar and asexual, so I got the worst of both worlds. When I got away from her, I met an emotionally stable woman who was perfectly sexuality compatible. Then I messed that up and had a series of mental breakdowns.
Gentlemen, be mindful of what you have, because you don't get that many opportunities in life.
This is one of the videos of yours that resonated most with me - particularly the categorizing of a red-flag person as somehow "safer" than a stable person. Your description of the stakes, of "the rest of your life" was on point. And St. Augustine was right on the money, haha. It was cool to hear you quoting him. Thanks for making this video, it helped me highlight what still needs to grow.
Perhaps one of the most strikingly profound pieces of commentary that I’ve ever heard is on youtube👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I heard that people are attracted to people like them. It makes people feel like they are normal. By improving oneself, the definition on what the person finds normal and attractive shifts. This leads people finding more stable partners more attractive.
Truthbombs! I 100% feel called out here, this def works both ways (women to men). Hearing you explain it so clear and matter of fact makes me more determined to keep working on myself and leave behind these old exhausting beliefs and choice patterns.
Groucho Marx’s letter of resignation to the Friars’ Club: “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.”
I grew up in a chaotic home as well and I got out of an 11 year marriage with someone who was deeply broken, only to realize we were together because I was just as broken. She monkey branched herself into a rebound while I focused on healing. My options with women now are better than ever and I see that as I continue to heal, the quality of women that come my way are increasingly more stable than the partners I have previously went for. That being said, I am still attracted to hot crazies and I still miss my ex. I got a lot more work to do.
😅
Same thing happened to me: i started to explore the extent of my childhood trauma, and went to therapy, she downloaded dating apps and monkey branched to another guy. And she has the courage to say that she's the less broken!
Same experience
I will definitely recommend getting hands on "The Human Magnet Syndrome" book. Had similar patterns, I still have but I am working really hard on changing myself so I am right for right kind of women. We have to become what we want to attract first. Know thyself, know thy enemy, a thousand battles, a thousand victories.
Someone in the know
Yea most of you damaged broken people have codependency and childhood wounding. Need to heal if you want a healthy relationship as you are putting in as much damage being a codependent..
Thanks for sharing as few actual life changing advice. Most just share their story which is fine but isn’t the point to progress and heal and move onto a better path. Sharing doesn’t get anyone anywhere
Bad girl’s ain’t no good, but the good girl’s ain’t no fun 🙌🏽
Smart good-ish girls are.
@@roses6564 Who are monogamish... 😉
@@JohnGrigg-gz9gm Kinda. :)
this is the truest, best video i have ever seen on this subject
Most important : Pick a woman with emotional stability although It might be less exciting for men that are unconsciously addicted to RollerCoasters
I had this thing for a train wreck. Everyone told me she was but until I relized it myself I was head over heels for her. One day it all just clicked like yep she really is a train wreck and I just stopped caring about her. I wish her well but I simply deserve better
I learned in AA that sick people seek out other sick people.
Imagine that. Wanting to share their experience with someone who understands. They should. They often heal together.
What an insightful speech to me! To the point I feel I can change my toxic habits right away. Many many thanks Mister.
Thank you for this, I am one of those men who have been contemplating about this for years. I would really appreciate to hear about the methods that you used to heal yourself in order to start appreciating emotionally stable women that you never felt attracted to in the past. Thank you very much 🙏 in advance.
Plant medicine for deep subconscious introspection. Therapist for accountability. Journaling for more accountability and processing. Community that will call you on your BS and radical radical radical honesty about yourself and self compassion. It’s a hard road.. a road less traveled but from my experience it’s worked wonders. Good luck & happy healing ❤
"Your vibe attracts your tribe"
Attracting train wrecks means you're a train wreck. It's just so damn obvious after experiencing it.
🎯. Works both ways. Women who are emotionally stable like different guys compared to women who aren't.
Men often say they are logic driven, not emotion driven. However, why lot of men got involved with train wrecks, not breaking up immediately upon seeing the first time that train got wrecked? I have no tolerance for anyone who is a threat to my mental and environmental peace of mind and that includes my own mother (I kicked her out). If you are truly rational, you’d have no qualm axing a person out of your life.
This is why I think it's bullshit when men say that they are the logical gender. Humans are fucking stupid animals with silly instincts unless trained otherwise. Why would having a penis suddenly make you immune to making illogical decisions? Logic doesn't come from biology
Man oh man, this is peak honesty and so refreshing to hear. I am you Orion…was, was you. Described me in my former rationalizing dating strategies in ways of transparency and articulation I’ve never heard before. Well done and praise to the process of healing the body into a state of authentic pride and dignity.
Life is pretty boring when you're just avoiding drama. It's the reason why girls prefer bad boys.
I disagree completely. I avoid drama and I love the quiet and calmness.
The women that YOU pay attention to, love bad boys 🙄
@@brianmeen2158an anomaly doesn’t make the standard. You are an outlier
Most women are psycho. Chaos. Drama. Complainers. Love the cycles of ups and downs. Going after what will never commit to them. Love being the victim. .
Disagree. I could never see the attraction to bad boys. They just seemed like a load of unnecessary drama and heartache. I've been married nearly 40 years. We're boring. It's great.
I just keep coming back to this video every month or so and taking away another slight detail that I hadn’t noticed before.
Thank you.