In this episode, I discuss the third -- and final -- consideration for getting any man you want. If a woman has proven herself both functionally useful and sexually exciting, and she still hasn't been able to retain a desired relationship, in most cases it is because she has violated the unbreakable rule, namely: she has been difficult and disrespectful. Under no circumstances, can a woman allow herself to disrespect the man she wants. No exceptions. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ruclips.net/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/видео.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
Hi Orion great content. I am wondering how to manage expectations when I deal with two ideas you have talked about. First idea is the one where a man, while flirting, has to communicate that a woman is impressive beyond her looks, and the second is the idea that a woman has to earn commitment. I'm not saying the ideas completely contradict each other, but the first idea does seem to indicate that the woman has proven herself to some degree. Thoughts?
Lets say, if the woman showed herself useful, is attractive, and showed respect to me that other men didn't get. All to do is, give her the oppurtunity to show her slutty side?
@@1989Mordwin I think the key is to put it in a frame like you're intrigued but still evaluating her more. The dating coach Todd V teaches this kind of verbal game with a lot of nuance, and you might find his material on "evaluation" (qualification and disqualification) to be especially relevant. Overall I think you want to have a narrative like "You might be winning me over," but not like you're completely sold immediately.
Married twenty years, By watching this episode I have a greater appreciation for my wife. She has never broken the unbreakable rule. I do not know if someone taught her or how she learned this rule. I have made mistakes and owned up to them and she has never used them to disrespect me. She speaks highly of me to her friends. Due to this, I love her and take care of her.
As a man, I watch these videos because society tells men how to behave towards women, but never the other way around, so I don't even know what valuable traits I should seek for in a woman and how she should treat me. These are extremely valuable for men as well.
You are so correct joaquin67! It's been a good four generations since society has told women how they should treat their men. It's all about expectations and demands.
You have quickly become my favourite channel. As a woman who was raised to be a career woman and not a loving and respectful wife, I really appreciate your channel. It helps me avoid any future pitfalls which I’ve seen many women in my family fall into. 🙏🙏🙏
That's so awesome! Keep going! Being a present and loving mother is one of the most important jobs ever....it's a shame we live in a world that devalues and shames women for wanting to take care of their home and kids.@blessedsuburbanmamma7062
I will go even further and say: If a man ALLOWS his woman to disrespect him for long enough, she will leave him. She will view him as something less than a man.
The ancient Greeks were aware of this. There is the story of the sorcerer Circe who turns men into pigs. When she realizes her magic won’t work on Jason, leader of the Argonauts because he’s protected by the goddess Athena, she falls at his feet and begs to sleep with him. Women don’t respect weak men.
@@TheMallyjoe Try to stay on subject. This particular video deals with women disrespecting men. However, if he constantly disrespects you, then you are foolish to continue being with him. I would say the same to any man who's woman constantly disrespects him. Don't be a fool.
Regarding the yelling and screaming and lack of accountability, Bill Burr has a great take on this in his “There’s no reason to hit a woman” set. To paraphrase, even hockey has penalties for instigating. Women fight by yelling, crying, and insulting men and then are surprised by a man being angry as a result. To the woman I might love, I will fight the world for you, but I won’t fight you for you.
Damn! I will fight the world for you but I won't fight you for you might just be the most poetic and succulent way to summarize my feelings towards women.
I wish it were true. The stupid thing is that those people are the ones who drag others down in their everyday lives with their attitude. And they unintentionally sabotage others emotionally and poison their thoughts. So it rubs off on other women and men. @@georgeelder8415
Oh my GOD 😮 I just realized that the reason my man snapped was because of the words I said. It was my fault! I said hurtful things to him and he flipped out. I realize now I provoked him. Thank you! I love ❤your videos so much you’re my favorite!
When the disrespect starts, its time to leave. Disrespect shows 2 things: 1. she is not emotionally stable and is going to do negative behaviours, e.g. moan, complain and harass you. 2. the reason she hasn't left is because she hasn't found a better financial replacement yet (but the clock is ticking). Your only power is to walk away.
The disrespect thing is right on. The financial thing isn’t. Guys with nothing else compelling to offer women love to blame money rather than their boring, unpleasant, and unimproved selves. I lived with a doctor/yoga instructor while making $20 and hour, so I already know this isn’t the case through lived experience again and again. But I’m fun. Women want feelings. Yeah a small percentage will take money if you can’t put anything else on the table, but only a jackass gives those women the time of day anyway.
@@chrisstone2506as a woman, I think you’re correct. I’ve dated many men who earned less than me. It wasn’t that big an issue. However there is a sizable segment (and growing) of women who “Chase the bag” and there is no satisfying them unless you’re a pay pig. Muh feelings and good vibes won’t work with them.
Replace "financial" with "masculinity". The disrespect starts when she senses that you are not as masculine as she thought you were. When you drop in masculinity, you drop in attractiveness.
@@dannyt503um, NO. When people understand what they value then they can look for it in à partner. That is where respect comes from. You can't fake respect.
Brilliant as always Orion! One possible addendum: Ladies, if you do, on the rare occasion, disrespect your man, or think that you may have, APOLOGIZE! You’ve covered this in another video but I think it bears repeating here. Men appreciate people who take accountability for their actions. So you can actually end up raising his opinion of you if proactively apologize and take accountability. Just don’t ever repeat the offending behavior.
Yes! Apologize and talk about it. Why the disrespect happened, does she want a change but a man doesn't pick up on her "clues" and now she is frustrated. Maybe she didn't mean it as disrespect but he took it that way.
Thanks for saying this. If I unintentionally disrepect my man I want to know so I can apologize. I just need him to tell me and not make me guess what is wrong.
I don't agree and here is WHY. 90 % of the time it's because man does something OFFENSIVE/ disrespectful to a woman. For example, disregarding her feelings completely, putting her thru days in thru silence, saying something low key rude to trigger her ..MOST WOMEN don't out of nowhere wouldn't just call you M.F JERK, ASSHOLE or whatever. It usually is an AFTER EFFECT of men's rude/ dismissive behavior.
Also....just " don't REPEAT behavior "....people are people and when people get emotional/hurt they easily say something out of hurt. Nobody will be a PERFECT soldier. Don't TRIGGER her again and most likely it wouldn't happen again. YET if a man is not taking on ACCOUNTABILITY for hurtful things....for hurtful triggers....then yes women can say things FREELY
Thanks!, Orion! Your whole collection has been super helpful. Ive let go of a few ideas or beliefs I hadnt realized I was embracing, and oblivious to being long overdue to revisit. It was the middle of 2021 when I fairly quickly went through that turmoil of emotions common when one is "redpilled." I recognized the similarity to the emotional path of grief, loss, or estrangement. Still, at 42 years old that summer and fall in 2021, getting some clarity with ideas I hadnt worked out yet, greater understanding with the nuances, complexities or tendencies that evolved in human psychology common to us all, vary by lifestage, or differ in prevalence by gender, status, family dynamic, or whatever experiences your content delivers has been profoundly helpful to correctl and repair those deep neurological grooves of misunderstanding. I am grateful for the knowledge that you share. What you have offered I’m glad to see is increasingly found, embraced, and has clearly helped many, and before your 2-year RUclips creator trial came up.
$100, no comments. No reply from Channel, and far less upvotes. I see this most of the time. All this tells me this new comment feature is for RUclips Inc only; trying to catch up on systems and cultures that are well developed in places like Twitch.
@@dudejoe8390 Thanks for your take on this. I’m not a RUclips expert, and I don’t know much about the algorithm effect for creators channel curation. Regarding comments, eliciting replied is a skill or intention of the submitter. The content poster benefits engaging with their audience, subscriber or not, but it seems an opportunity cost effort to me. There wasn’t a RUclips Inc influence on money being sent or the amount, although I’ve heard it’s only 60% to the channel. The points you mention are more important to leverage for some, and not so much for others, whether content creator or content viewer.
Great video! Through my lens as an experienced divorce lawyer, here is the biggest problem men face regarding disrespect from a woman: once a man gets married, the exit cost (divorce) can be very substantial. I have seen some of the nastiest, most disrespectful women treat their husbands in horrific ways, knowing he will take it and she will get away with extreme levels of disrespect because his cost to divorce her will be very high. The solution in many western countries: a) do not get married and do not cohabitate in a married like state, b) have a properly drafted prenup in place and live in a prenup friendly jurisdiction. You can still have terrific intimate relationships without worrying about someone turning into a disrespectful beast who has state divorce laws on their side.
[she will get away with extreme levels of disrespect because his cost to divorce her will be very high] Men can Always get a Signed Divorce Settlement Agreement Outside of Court giving the Man Everything he wants in the Divorce....that's what I did. High Exit Costs Avoided
You know prenuptial agreements are regularly thrown out by judges. You're another skeevy vampire, banking on men ground up by the machine and playing innocent like the women with whom you tacitly collaborate.
@@forgottenfuryan The validity of prenups is dependent on the jurisdiction where they are litigated. In Pennsylvania, judges can’t modify or set aside properly drafted prenups. This is not the case in all jurisdictions. In many Canadian provinces, courts can and do modify prenups or set them aside. The safest way to proceed is to stay single. I would be just as happy if nobody got divorced (or married).
From another perspective, and as a woman, I knew it early on in life instinctively that I could never be with a man I don't respect. I chose one and through many ups ans downs I'm still with him. Will never choose another. There were times I've made mistakes and apologized, he also knows that i truly repented and made efforts to change. He's had his share of mistakes. We all do. As long as we're trying to grow and change into a better version of ourselves, we're doing good. We all deserve love and forgiveness. Peace. ❤❤
On point. I have told my wife early when we were dating that love is overrated (overshadowing respect) because you can respect without much love and the relationship can be more or less healthy, but you can never ever have true love without respect, and a relationship cannot be healthy either.
PsycHacks, I really appreciate you speaking truthfully, as a therapist about this controversial subject. I grew up with a traditional Pakistani mother who spoke to us and informed us of all the things you say. However, my Canadian upbringing taught me to speak my mind, that I am an empowered modern woman unlike the women of old. And unfortunately, this has lead me to assert my power in the form of disrespect especially when I felt inferior or subordinate, powerless in some way. Now adays, women are told to value power, dominance, self-indulgence and self-regard above all else. However I think we can all agree that we should treat people how we would like to be treated ourselves. How many of enjoy being criticized or talked down to at every turn? Feeling like every single thing we do is never enough? It makes a lot more sense now why all my relationships ended the way they did, there is a lot of truth still post feminism of the adage, 'you can attract a lot more bees with honey than vinegar' But of course, we are now being taught to be our 'authentic selves'. I just wish I listened to mom much earlier, she was right. God bless her and give her a long life.
My mom never disrespected my Dad... Until recently, when she got dementia. But that doesn't really count as disrespect and he knows that. And that's why he's taking care of her now going into 63 years of being married.
My last relationship ended in screaming like the Valentine's Day guy. I planned a nice date and was screamed at because it wasn't perfect in her mind. The screaming was so intense that I couldn't explain the benefit of the date (to both of us). After 6 months of very thoughtful dates I'd planned, this one was interpreted "like I was taking her to CVS" (her words). In this case "CVS" was a friend's art show. Turned out to be the most fun day I had in the year. Without her.
Try overboard. I had similar issues with being romantic in the west. & truth me. I tried serval western places and ladies. Well if you can call them that
Sounds like she just wanted to sabotage the relationship. They do that sometimes when they are too immature to pull the trigger themselves they just make the hoops to jump through smaller and smaller then take a jab at your masculinity when you fail. You get provoked and bow its YOUR fault for shouting and YOU ended the relationship. Dont beat yourself up. Its a cowards play. You did good.
Was it something that she actually liked or mentioned in the past. My gifts for my man is always based on him. Not what i want to get him............. stop being selfish and do things that she actually liked. My ex did this. Get me anything he wanted, which wasnt geared towards me at all but more geared upon him. Thats selfish and not cool at all. You said that you thought out dates but did you really???? Lets be real
@@Tnc874 Art shows were something she liked, yes. What she didn't like was that the location was inconvenient (for both us). But if this is your response upon listening to his video, you missed the point.
@@LaitoChen This may be the correct answer. She'd done exactly that once, and I walked. She returned begging forgiveness and promised not to do it again, but did it again the moment she started falling for me, at least by my perception.
As a Woman, unfortunately I couldn't agree more with this last rule. I also think this is a cultural behavior that's more prevalent in the US. I'm French and I can tell you that very few of the women I interacted with in ny country thought I was OK for a second to disrespect her Man
I speak a little French not much I would love to know more about French and USA surrounding I am from the UK this sound interesting say hi I would love to talk lots maybe?
Thank you for these 3 episodes. They have helped me immensely. My bf keeps telling me about my mouth & about respect for him. I hope you have saved my relationship. I'm eternally grateful ty ty ty. Been trying ti understand this over a year now. This is it!!
yes, this and the rest of the advice is the best ever. that's it, that's the answer! the trouble is getting a woman to actually live by such advice even when she knows it's true. that would mean overcoming her nature. that hardly ever happens. it's then best to be prepared by always **always** maintaining an exit plan 😎
women will never hold themselves accountable, at most it may sound like they do but that's only lip service to make you chill when you angri dadi. Learn how to check women who are disrespectful and punish them (not physically, but by silence and indifference, they hate that shit... but they will try to make you angry on purpose at that time, and if you get angry, you lose, so hold steady)
@@forgottenfuryan then you show them it doesn't fly with you. If you have to let women off with any bullshit they give you, you might as well not have those women or just use them "recreationally."
@@Promet17 The last woman I went off on chased me for a decade. I'm not on the market. I have adult films. This way I'll never be falsely accused, I won't have some hoe phase influencing my personality and I won't be a broke, sad, weekend dad. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces, 60% of mothers are single and raise 80% of inmates and 85% of children with behavioral disorders. Did you want some of that? Half of generation X women are childless with only 1% by choice. Do you notice them when they're not asking for the manager?
I’ve never been able to find a woman in the US that won’t rip this rule to shreds every chance she gets. My current girlfriend grew up in another country and moved here a few years ago and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had by leaps and bounds.
@@virtual-vikingmen are doing some incredible shit sometimes, but he is right, anyway even if you just vent it out, you don’t respect the guy anymore. The right response is distance yourself and leave.
Literally the best advice I've ever heard and 100% true, factual and correct. To relate to John Gottman as well, contempt is the one thing you cannot do in ANY relationship. There are many things that will contribute to a failed relationship but contempt is the one thing that guarantees it. And disrespect is very close to contempt.
The average woman goes on 40 "dates" a year the average man goes on 10 dates a year. Women, after one year, let alone a decade, the average woman has unfathomable contempt for all but the top 10% of men. Women file 80% of divorces and marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
I struggle to find women lovable in the long term, so I watched this series to look for a hint on what to look for. While I didn't find my answer per se, all three things are definitely things whose lack would be a deal breaker for me and many other men. Let me comment on two things Orion said here as a man, and let me add another he didn't say, but that smart men who understand women know. 1. *Disrespect annoying men is spot on.* There was one girl I was close to dating at my uni years ago. We were having nice conversations and had fun hanging out together. Some flirt here and there. But when I greeted her one day, she replied with a snarky manner and looked at me provocatively. I immediately felt annoyed, but calmly tried to find out what was wrong. I found nothing but more snarky remarks. That was the end of it, I simply gave her a look and ignored her from that day on. She didn't talk to me, either, so maybe it was on purpose to get rid of me, but it worked if so. No apology, no relationship. 2. *Talking shit about your man to another person is considered a big red flag among men,* and any self-respecting man will dump you for this as soon as he hears it. In fact, no self-respecting man who can keep his PP in his pants will date any woman who talks shit about others behind their back. If you can talk shit about someone else (especially someone close to you or prominent in your life, such as your friend, family, boss), it's only an issue of time before you talk shit about your guy when you have an argument (and it's impossible to never argue). 3. *The thing Orion didn't say is that disrespect can very easily make the woman give up on the relationship first.* This is because women, subconsciously or consciously, test men with disrespect (don't deny it). A masculine man will check his woman for this, and she will be glad because it shows her he is still the strong guy she likes. If he doesn't, the disrespect (the tests) will escalate until he does. OR until the woman finds out that the man is trash because he doesn't dare to talk back to her when she disrespects him (at least that's how women see it), at which point the woman will check out of the relationship first because she will decide he's not that guy she liked/loved anymore. Who will never dare to talk balk? A simp, a beta male, a doormat, however you call it. And I think it's perfectly alright. Gotta cull those simps. Personally, I only hate that I never understood it clearly myself, and had to be told this to fully understand the importance of it.
waitm what do you mean by "A masculine man will check his woman for this, and she will be glad because it shows her he is still the strong guy she likes"? i don't get it, check this how?
@@nannuky1128 what I mean is, for example, that if my girlfriend calls me names, she'll get rebuked (checked), and if that doesn't help, there are other consequences she can face
@@nannuky1128 He tells her - don't talk to me like that or some such other comment. Or he ignores her for a couple of days. Some kind of negative feedback that informs her she can't behave however she wants.
If my girlfriend/wife treated me like a boss, that would feel amazing. I think this often happens early in a relationship when you're in the "honeymoon phase". The problems come once a couple has lived together for a while or has been married for a while and pressures come like money troubles or the stresses of parenting. At this point, a lot of men put up with being disrespected regularly because it's too painful/expensive to break up or divorce. Even worse if you have kids. The man is stuck because he can't complain unless he wants her to leave and take half of his stuff and possibly the kids too. This happened to me.
I'm at the very edge of being too old to consider children. I think about it a lot. For me the crucial question about that is whether it's better for them to be ignorant of existence or to be extant and face all the joys and sorrows that come with it. As life goes on and I experience more painful health problems it's something I'm increasingly doubtful about. But for the selfish reasons of providing meaning and love that are generally considered the benefits of starting a family, it seems so tenuous and fragile, and rely so much on one other person, it seems destined to fail under the weight of it's own importance. I enjoy many things in life, but complete freedom is certainly accompanied by a tendency to nihilism, so I won't say for sure I think this is better, but the nuclear family looks to me, from my friends and family, to be such a psychological battleground I'm not at all sure it's the ideal solution.
Plenty of women submit to their husbands. You know the biggest reason women divorce men nowadays, as divorce lawyers state? Because even when both people are working, they're all expected to cover all the household responsibilities as well. Why would you respect someone who's useless around the house and can't even pick up his socks but thinks he's entitled to being a king? Zero accountability from 🍼 men
@@Music-fg3bj For a man it's much better to marry a woman who wants to be a home-builder and care-giver than a career woman. If the economy of the West/USA is designed to screw over couples, from the man's pov as described here, then it's better to work, save and move abroad where that's legitimate for that man. As you say, the 2-income necessity in the West/US is cause for strife. From the man's pov: What value does having a competitor bringing home the salary then a competitor out-competing on the home-making add to his life? It DEVALUES it. As for women, who live and work in this environment: Good luck finding a man you're happy with.
So in other words you want to be "respected" regardless of your leadership issues? Whats actually happening is, as usual when things get real, you don't know what to do. So "respect" is another way of saying you want to have sentimental value to her. However, if you portrayed yourself as the "boss", then you lack sentimental value by default. People then "respect" what you do. Would you stay working at a company if the leader couldn't lead properly & the company was going bankrupt? Would you be loyal & happy if they lowered your wage, and added more responsibilities to your plate? Not really. Respect is capsulized emotionalism.
Respect isn’t only the foundation of society, but also the backbone of manhood. There men working themselves into early grave to lead countries or corporations for respect, and men spending years in prison for being disrespected. Through the years, I saw that women disrespect others very often, because there’s no direct punishment for it. For many women, it’s their second nature to disrespect others, as a means of expressing violence.
"For many women, it’s their second nature to disrespect others, as a means of expressing violence." And that leads the men to become physically violent in retaliation. Better to just jump ship than end up in jail or in hospital. Or even worse, in the morgue.
Men do not spend yours in prison for being "disrespected". That is a story they tell themselves, when their fragile egos are scratched. They have no impulse control, cannot control their anger. (plus other problems, like drug dealing, theft robbery). Even if a person is impolite - be it a stranger or family member there is no need to resort to violence. A mature person does not do that. They might end a relationship, but they do not have to prove to themselves or someoneelse that they can retaliate with violence when they feel disrespected.
As a woman, I suspect that I don’t really understand what a man feels is or isn’t disrespectful… As a side discussion, I have many times felt disrespected by men. But it has always been taboo to mention that I feel bad when they do this. In fact, from what I can work out, letting a man know he is being disrespectful will be seen by him as disrespectful. So it’s a catch-22. I’d love a response to this problem. Perhaps there is a better was to see it?
It's pretty obvious what is disrespectful to a man. Any comment that demeans his efforts/physicality/economic situation/intelligence - especially in front of other people. It's very, very simple and very very obvious when women do this.
Usually they gaslight you and don't really care about your feelings. I'm not saying that u must act with disrespect but he doesn't really give a fck when he's being disrespectful to you. They think that you're being overly dramatic. You can never win with men, unless he's a man that really deserve respect and won't treat you with less of it.
It's not as hard as you're making it out to be. If you tell your man you feel disrespected by XYZ thing, but do so in a serene and non-accusing way, unless he's unstable then he'll take it well. If you're not sure about your tone just pretend you're talking to a judge or your boss. If he still flips out even then, find another man.
I'm a woman, and I would much rather be treated with respect than hear dumb falsehoods that I'm "beautiful." Assume you're a man who's short or of average height. Would you want your wife to tell you constantly that you're tall? Would that substitute for treating you decently? Of course not.
Respect is earned, not given. What you probably mean to say is that you should be polite to everyone. Yes, you should generally treat people with polite behavior.
This is specific to relationships. Of course we are respectful to everyone, in a general sense. The idea is to not disrespect your partner or prospective partner because we get comfortable with people we’re familiar with and sometimes we relax those standards and take them for granted. Respect at all times is a good rule of thumb.
@@modelchanger1332 It depends on the situation. You could be out in public and see an elderly person trying to lift something to put into their car and they are struggling, going over to help that person is a sign of respect, thoughtfulness and kindness. Or you could be planning a party at your house, and you know you are going to get loud with your friends, so you go to your neighbors to let them know and tell them to please let you know if you are disturbing their piece; that's respect and courtesy. You may not know your neighbors, but you give them a heads-up on your plans out of respect for your neighborhood. Perhaps you have a foul mouth (Like me), and you are around a religious person who doesn't curse; you watch what you are saying out of respect. There are so many scenarios in life where you show respect, but it's not earned. You don't have to know someone personally to be respectful of them. Respect is a sign of integrity regarding your character, not another person's.
Man this great. Excellent explanation. My ex-wife was pretty good at all 3 and then it dropped off. Disrespectful in words..gestures...and actions led to divorce after 15 years together. Like he said, my peace of mind was a better choice for me.
Thanks for pointing out how we men (at least me myself and pretty almost every other men I have encountered in my life) do think and feel about respect and disrespect from our partners.
To anyone watching this just out of curiosity: as far as I can tell, this works fine for other relationships too - except the sluttiness is replaced by other social proofs. Be invaluable, share the undeniable kinds of proof of deep connection, and show respect.
The average man goes on 10 dates a year the average woman goes on 40 "dates" a year. What men in their right mind wants banker Chad's leftovers? Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
It works with mentors. If you want to up your game, find someone who is better than you and offer useful service so that you can remain close to them and learn from them.
I was in a relationship for 10 years, she pretty much quit cooking, cleaning, she slowed way down on the sex.... I was willing to put up with both those things. Then she started running her mouth everyday! I am now single.
Was there something she was saying about what you were doing while she was running her mouth? Or you just tuned it out because women shouldn’t have their own needs and expectations of their partner
@@artisticagi Women should have reasonable needs and expectations of their partner. Stop straw-manning. It's such a typical female response. The issue is women have VASTLY more needs, expectations and DEMANDS of men than men do of women. It's a near comical mismatch. It isn't that men ignore those needs, it's that it gets to a stage where their needs get so preposterous it becomes impossible to satisfy their constantly ungrateful ass. As well you know if you'd bothered to examine the state of the culture or self reflected at all. It's precisely why channels like this are getting traction and its long overdue.
No, she wasn't talking to me, she was talking to her friends and when one of them got black out drunk and started hitting me, and then said this the next morning; "I'm sorry, but your mean to EX" I still put up with it for another year until my daughter got hit. @@artisticagi
I called that you were going to talk about respect right before you mentioned it. This is because you have made previous videos on the nature of respect and it just felt like a natura conclusion to the holy trinity of good qualities in women. This channel if a goldmine of knowledge
I'd been spending time with this girl over a period of several months, and one day I stopped when I realized that there were zero conversations we'd held that didn't have me feeling criticized and laughed AT. Right or wrong, I didn't like how it felt to be with her. So that was it.
I felt that horrible way with my sister while we were on a family vacation, I could not open my mouth at all and not being made wrong or stupid. I love my sister but no more going on vacation with her.
It is really the unbreakable rule. If I think back to the reason I ended many relationships, it was because of this. In some cases, it wasn’t a disrespect to me, but to my family members 😂
Thanks so much for this video, Dr. Orion. Appreciate your insights. The last point is very hard as women are never or very little taught how to respect a man (creating dismissing attitude). One of the comments show this: "I am so sorry for you that your ego is so fragile that ..." -> this is a common behavior for women. (passive aggressive/gaslighting) It's so heartbreaking and sad looking at today's society that it's so hard for women to connect with a man (especially in a husband/wife) relationship. I'm afraid, many women will and would never change her stance, and might even use this knowledge to manipulate more men in the future. And to women who understand this, you get it.
Per usual PsycHacks nails it: 1. Woman disrespects man 2. Woman doesn’t want to hear man tell her why that’s not ok 3. Man leaves (or becomes distant in relationship) because woman disrespects man and will not hear him out
Nice to hear for the guy, too. I've experienced women using this playbook with me and loved it! She gave to me and I gave to her, gladly and joyfully supporting each other and having a blast with life! It can also create a dilemma for the man when he is not attracted to a woman who is operating in step 1.
Thank you. I know this is true, but I have messed up when I’m really, really tired or really, really hungry. And you’re right! If I was speaking with my boss or a customer, I would remain respectful even if I just wanted to eat and go to sleep. Thanks for the reminder.
Just apologize. You may be surprised as to how far that will go when you recognize the issue, explain, and apologize. He will be very grateful and c want to keep you. I would
I was scrolling through the comments here to see women's takes. Yours is the first one. What I notice are the excuses, tired - hungry. Do they really excuse the disrespect? Disrespect to a man cuts to the very core in questioning the why of his commitment. A man may put up with other crap but disrespect will be felt by him in his very soul and cause him to deeply question WTF he is doing with this other. Glad to read you understand this male fragility regarding respect or lack thereof.
@@icfubar9150 Over my 60 years I have on occasion been short with my replies to my friends, parents, strangers… not intentionally and not without regret. But the reality is that all humans, when not feeling their best, tend not to act their best. Regarding men: as a woman with 4 brothers, it makes me so sad to see a woman publicly disrespect a man. I know it is killing him inside.
If a guy used these excuses he not only he would be knocked out of his teeth but ridiculed as well. It's amazing how much you can get away with if you are not a man
Great stuff. Having said that, the other side of the coin is that just because a man has testicles, it does not grant him respect. As men we should be diligently striving for deserving the respect we need. I had the same conversation with a woman a couple nights ago where she was going on and on about her BF, although wrong in speaking of him behind his back ( i listened). He literally was not deserving of respect 35 sucking on mom's teat, making bad financial decisions, throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old in a fancy restaurant because he was hungry. She keeps going back to him, i just wanted to ask her who's fault is this? Yours or his for tolerating this relationship?
I agree, exactly, sometimes some men are not doing things that are what makes a woman respect him, like being lazy a lot or constant complaining, then if he would step up, more respect would be earned and it would be easier to respect..
i had a guy who just after having sex, would text another girl that "I love your face" , thinking i don't understand because they would talk in spanish. but i can understand spanish.
You’ve got some really useful ideas here. I’d love to see an episode where you talk about how one CAN express disagreement or discomfort with a partner in a respectful, relationship-growing way.
Wow you learned how to express disagreement with a partner in American schools everyday? I might agree if it was a school in another country. Sidenote…i think most people learn relationship habits from their parents, not school.
@@eattravellovejoy20 Learning to express disagreements with your class and schoolmates are one of the most fundamental routines to learn and master in school. It is already a part of the mandatory things kids in learn in kindergarden.
@@andersnielsen6044 Your example seems to show that you didn't actually learn this yourself. Why would a stranger on the internet be any less deserving of being spoken to in a respectful way than what you're saying you learned to give to a classmate in kindergarten? Your "lol, you didn't learn this in school" has contempt at it's core. That's not respect. Why?
@@earth_and_spice I expect adult human beings to be able to drink and eat on their own hand. What was asked for was basic human behavior, that should have been learned at the socializing-stage of any childhood. If you have not learned that back then - you belong behind locked doors in a mental hospital.
One precision is missing though. A woman can act respectfully but still lack _appreciation_ for her man's good qualities. She doesn't see the good for all it's worth which in time can lead toward distancing. One might say it goes in the respect category but I like to separate the two.
as a 26 yr old man im watching this to help remove the brain washing society has imposed on me due to the toxic feminism movement society keeps telling men how to treat women but never NEVER the other way around. i found out about your channel from fresh and fit podcast and man i cant get enough of these videos JACKPOT
Same age as you bro. I grew up being taught essentially to be a doormat by church, my family, my school, everything in media. You start to reach a point and wonder why. Like why does one gender have to resign themselves to the service of the others. Good news, in 2024, you don’t! You get to have standards and expectations too. This is the TRUE reward for men creating options. If a man has options, he doesn’t need to tolerate disrespect or have low standards for a relationship. Creating options gives you the freedom to reject women. Which is CRUCIAL. I’m glad men are waking up and realizing that their lives are just as valuable as women’s, and provided we play the game of the sexual marketplace right, we can have what we want too. It comes later in life for most men, but time is on our side. We don’t have to settle for a subpar relationship. This information is priceless
Amazing principle! They’re going to have a hard time with this one 😅. For Western women, suppressing oneself feels like not being true to oneself. They’ll rationalize the failed relationship as the man having a fragile ego. Happens all the time
Sad truth. " what? I'm the problem?!" Always is met with extra context to "prove"he is trash from her perspective. The key for me is, when you ask about Past relationships and it's always the man's fault it didn't work out. You run away, Run FAST!
In many countries it is still the standard for women, to suppress oneself and dedicate service to husband. At least my mom didn’t fail on this, but most probably on the slut thing, after giving birth to kids (lost libido) at least that’s what I got from some honest conversation with dad😂
The thing is, they stopped being true to themselves first when they tried to have a relationship with a man that they didn't respect. People will mishear this video as saying that women should put up with shit from the man they want and that the man can do anything he likes but, if the woman has any self respect, she wiill only get involved with a man that she respects and the issue just wont come up except by accident, in which case an apology should be quickly given and accepted.
This is the most important rule for women to understand TO KEEP A MAN (not just get his attention)... this is the rule that women don't understand helps a man choose a 6/10 over a 9/10. This is the rule that makes a man who has self-respect walk away from a woman who is functionally useful and sexually exciting. This is the rule that women will find the most difficulty in abiding and this is why passport bros will continue to grow in numbers... because rather than deal with a renovation, why not just start with a new house on good foundation? we don't want an old house 'with character'
The average man goes on 10 dates a year. The average woman goes on 40 "dates" a year. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces. Let's all clamor for banker Chad's Tuesday leftovers!
I am confused by your 6/10 and your 9/10 ... which one is the old house with character that needs possible renovations and which is the new hours on a new foundation? ( You Know the way some houses are constructed these days they just “ Throw them together “ and there are always leaks, cracks and weak floors and out of alignment walls. They don’t get sealed up to keep rodents and insects out of the houses also. / I met a Senator from Tennessee when I was younger and he was very interested in me but he was betrothed to a woman and their marriage was considered “ a marriage of convenience “ and was arranged by their parents. At some point in Time , he wanted to reconnect with me. However, after6 daughters and 1 son, and a divorce later, I told him that he had kept me waiting too long and not to put my love upon a shelf. I like a container of milk was reduced by two marriages and divorces and an “ Expiration Date”. ) Dude, haven’t you learned that a Pretty face / body don’t mean a Pretty Heart? I met a guy who I had sent a picture of my face to and I said that it was my scary face because I had not worn makeup in years since some men told me that I looked better without it. Then , I put on my “ War paint “ and sent him a picture. He said that I looked “ Gorgeous “. But, what he really liked is how I talked “ dirty” to him. Yep, I pulled that termite right out of my woodwork. He was a “ Scammer” and was up to using me to commit “ Fraud” and “ Embezzlement “. I gave him a Warning to cease and desist this illegal behavior before he gets apprehended and serves Time in a prison. Then , I blocked him as my banker suggested. According to Sadia Psychology and many other psychologists, pornographic pictures and internet porn are addicting and ruining men. When I was attending massage school , one of my teachers said that “ men should save their Jing chi ( life force/ semen ) by not self pleasuring . I take care of an elderly man who had marriage difficulties and masterbated frequently. He says that nowadays his soldier cannot stand at attention but he can squirt. ... Things to think about. 👍👍🙏🎱🦋✨✝️ 13:04
@@forgottenfuryan Who is Senator Chad? ( I was referring to Al Gore , jr. and I never had sex with him. Men’s minds are so f.u.c.k.e.d. Up , especially when they let their penis ‘s do their thinking for them. ) I do have a cat. If I am “ crazy”, I will never steer you Wrong. I think you need to find a better “ TROLL “ school because the one you attend at present is a flop. 🎱🦋✨✝️
It goes both ways. I respect a man but once he crosses my boundaries by disrespecting me first and i tell him that he is being disrespectful but yet tries to act like i did something wrong by expressing myself, then i believe he is not emotionally mature. With my experience they have wanted a doormat. One who does not express herself. No way will that be me. They can ghost me after i express that they disrespected me all they want. Thats not a grown man and there fore they want a female who is afraid to express her feelings when something doesnt feel right. A female who is a people pleaser. Thats not me. I will call bullshit when i need to and if they leave then dont let the door hit you from behind.
Thank you so much for making this video. I was in a 19 year marriage. Disrespected on a weekly and than almost daily basis at the end. A few physical fights over the years and then I just gave up and began to see other women until I moved out two years later. Tried to stick around for my children, but should have really never gotten married to such a horrid person if I am being honest. I was dumb and had no guidance like many others I am sure.
This video series is not just for women: it's definitely for the men too! What I mean by this, I personally was unaware of what I wanted from a woman, and I washed all three videos, and you hit the nail on the head! This is exactly my soulmate, my twin flame, my boo, whatever label you want to add, this is the perfect woman I'm looking for.
This is perfect. I'd say about 95% of the rejections I've doled out over the years are for disrespect, the rest were elements of hygiene, health, or as you pointed out, just damn useless dead weight or worse, dragging me backwards or not being my second out in public where I talk and do business. Those shop keepers/business contacts give me wide berth until they see the woman acting right, or removed.
I have learnt a lot by watching your videos. As a woman, its an eye opener.Its hard being a woman but it gets harder if you keep getting in your own way.However, what you are asking of women all 3 things is very hard. Almost impossible.
Great video, I just want to point out something from my experience. 1. As a man, from a guy’s perspective this honestly seems like the easiest rule to abide by out of the three. 2. Somehow it seems to be the most difficult one for women to follow. I’ve had a couple of girlfriends in my life that were able to do the first two things with relative ease. The last one seems to be the one that western women struggle with and find the most difficult to abide by. It’s bizarre to me
Orion, this one is absolutely pure solid gold. I can see a link of this clip being added in the Urban Dictionary under the definition of the word "Based." Such well curated composition of the perfect collection of ideas, delivered with a concisely organized logic that's only possible when one has proper mastery and topical expertise. How the main point in your message came with a varied emotion from subtle accents of expression, and those dashes of profaninty is bound to bring a clarity to your intended audience that is rarely experienced. You are pretty f****** clever, bro. I'm going to send you a thanks and share the s*** out of this one.
The content was top notch from the start, the quality of videos is getting better and better... and I don't know who does the illustrations, is it an artist or some AI sorcery but they fit the channel perfectly. Eye candies!
A girl who was into me hit me on the arm when I said something she didn’t like to someone else. We weren’t even dating. I knew it was going to get worse if she got even more comfortable with me.
I had one of those. I warned her once, and the second time I caught her hand with my full grip strength and explained that I'd been in enough fights for it to be a conscious effort to NOT slam her head into the wall. One day I wasn't going to catch myself in time, and she'd be in a coma. That seemed to do the trick.
She probably liked u.. when women do this is usually cuz she wants u to man up & see her as a female potential mate, not as ur buddy. I did this to a guy friend once, & I was shocked by my behavior. & I stopped talking to him, cuz I clearly didn’t respect him as a man.
Woooaaw. I am blown away by how accurate this is ! Truly love to hear this. Women should be taught this and they ll be better off. Actually everyone would be
This goes both ways, or for any relationship combination that's meant to last. - No self-respecting person tolerates disrespect from their partner. In other words, be ready to give what you expect.
EXACTLY. If man is offending her....SHE WILL OFFEND BACK. If his behavior comes off OFFENSIVE, she could offend VERBALLY. Respect is EARNED. Almost NEVER will a woman out of NOWHERE begin to talk SMACK. Same from men to a woman. IF YOU TALK SMACK or do something OFFENSIVE, you can't act SURPRISED that woman VERBALLY offended you
Thanks Doc, its so common to be disrespected, that I was litterly questening myself, if it was the right thing to move on, but thankfully, Im way to stubbern and dont tolerate that nonsense.
It's such a coincidence that I actually go by all 3 rules and have been for a while. I'm just found out about doc from Fresh and Fit. I look forward to catching up on his streams.
4) Ask him to do things for you or give tasks but don't yell at him and tell him how you want him to do if you want it specifically. Men want to be useful and needed and interacting cooperation just like you play game with your teammate and you both communicate that's whats build a bond with a man.
Men need more respect and women need more loving in a relationship. Try to ask a couple, especially a husband and a wife. It's not symmetrically the same. A husband would thrive more with more respect from a wife, while a wife would thrive more with more love. Many women have the hardest time to respect their men because of certain ideologies that teach them to be entitled, insufferable and never does anything wrong and holds double standard in anything related to relationship. One more thing, respect has different meanings and values to men and women, especially in a relationship between a husband and a wife.
@@Cuticatie women become disrespectful cause men show them through their actions that they don't really give a sh!t about them. You earn the respect! Right? So please stop thinking that the privilege is a man thing. Goes both ways.
I'm a straight female, and value this advice. It reminds me of how my late second husband and I treated each other, and the rewards we both enjoyed. I'm proud of how we both got good at respectfully and privately negotiating any differences of opinion we had. Publically, all anyone ever saw or heard was our admiration for each other. And the treatment I got from him for this was wonderful. I so hope for one more shot at using what I've learned.
Hi I am a UK male did this video make you cry some what in you thoughts? You have the love in you two that was shared, it is still real It was there, the past is still real the real always exist, don't worry about things, you still have what you had, I would be grateful to talk lots, yes, say hi if you feel you can maybe soon?
Guy here and I almost get a little more out of these episodes than the ones made for men. Like a fly on the wall with a little notepad and pen. Also makes me feel a little more sane because most women don’t accept responsibility for the way they act.
So, how does a woman hold a man accountable or express needs? I never felt like I was disrespectful, yet my ex-husband was always accusing me of criticizing him, nagging him, etc. I honestly never intended that, as I just tried to express my needs. I feel like no matter how I talked to him, he viewed it as antagonistic and disrespectful...
Damn straight. If the guy is mature and respects you, he should want to know what your needs are and how he might improve on something. And vice versa. There’s no shame in expressing what needs to be done, especially with your intimate partner. That’s why it’s also the type of guy because he can choose to see something as a criticism but he can also choose to be a reasonable person and examine the real issue without getting defensive.
Awesome question. I hope PH does a video on this unless he's just to say, pretend your man is your employer and you don't want to get fired..... Is it beneficial to write a letter, opening with a huge self depricating caveat, that they observe that such and such made her feel nervous and/or unsafe.
The conversation is about how to not disrespect your man.. not about how to express your needs. First master that. Expressing your needs is an easy thing once you remove disrespect
Oh gosh, I thought I was on point on man and women dynamics but this is super valuable. I'm gonna check what your paid content looks like right now !!!
There were so many triggers in these videos for me. I had to literally sit in the discomfort and keep watching. So I finally figured it out. The biggest place where some women mess up, sometimes we date men we don’t respect. Or we stay with them even after they’ve lost our respect.
You are exactly right. The message will be lost on most women over 30, but the next generation seems to have figured out at least what doesn't work. There is some hope for them.
One comment that is missing is that you GET disrespect because she wants out. It's her way of telling you she is looking for her next ride and you're not it. It's not about checking her and YOU keeping her in line, it's about her telling you how she really feels about your relationship and you doing the breaking up for her. Women hate breaking up the relationship because it makes her look bad. If you do it she gets all that sweet victim juice she can spread around and call you an abusive man. It's a major win for her.She gets rid of you AND she gets her victim card.
@@artawhirler They do the break up because the man isn't going to do it. Not because they haven't been signaling him that they are checked out for months or years beforehand. Often these are the guys with scarcity mindset and would rather stay in a shitty relationship than no relationship. Eventually she ends it because it's the only way out and she tires of waiting for the end she wants.
Thank you for this video. I am above avg in attractiveness, did 1 and 2, but I ran my mouth. I grew up with an abusive father and I always felt like I needed to put my men in their place, stick up for myself and not tolerate any bs. Well, I see now why I am still single; I went about this the wrong way for sure.
It makes sense. I mean if you disrespect your friends and even your family, they wouldn’t want to stick around either 🤷🏻♀️. That’s why you really have to work on yourself, be open and understanding ( *_without_* taking any crap ) , know how to express your emotions (likes and dislikes) in a mature way, and be mentally and emotionally healthy and mature. Don’t expect people to accept you for being a jerk to them. Just put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. However, always remember respect works *_both_* ways. Give respect but expect respect too. If not, be able to walk away.
What if you have broken this rule, DEEPLY regret it, apologized for it and have worked to not repeat it? What else can you do to recover from disrespect?
It means he finds you to be a disrespectful woman. Once you find out why he finds it in your nature, that's what you work on changing and you have to show you've - changed it. Not that you're working on not being a disrespectful woman, but that you aren't a disrespectful woman. You don't have to grovel, just show that you're different. If he still doesn't respond to that, then ask yourself why you wanted a man who doesn't have forgiveness in his nature in the first place. because it's in him then, not you.
Depends. If it was so bad that he broke it off as a consequence, then there really isn't much you can do to recover from it. But try to see it as something positive, that you've learnt something and know you'll do right with the next guy. On the other hand if you're still together but he's cold towards you, then most likely he needs you to show him through both your words and your actions that you deeply regret it and that you've changed.
Thank you for making this video Orion. As a woman I find your of content incredibly valuable and insightful. It has prompted me to take a good hard look at my patterns of behaviour towards men and beliefs about them. Keep up the amazing work ❤
I shared the first video in this series with people that would gain from it, and the second video too. I will share this also; However I would like to say two things: 1. It's easier for men to understand your communication of these facts. One of the women I shared with, a good friend of mine, didn't readily understand it; she said it sounded too technical (logical). I had to explain the video to her step by step before she caught on, and she agreed with what you have to say except being the sluttiest version of herself. That in part was cos of her religious beliefs. 2. Application of the first two of these three teachings come natural to women with the men that are the image of their value system. Very often these days, that man isn't the man that is good for them, just the man they are programmed by media and influences to embrace. This one on respect is what they all might need to learn especially. Well done Dr. Orion. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's the one thing men say all the time but which women never understand: don't nag (without reason). It sounds simple and harsh, but thankfully he gives an explanation as to why you shouldnt nag. Talking about and solving problems is one thing, nagging is just going over the problems for the sake of it. I like to think of it as an analogy. The alarm has gone off (nagging), the problem has been noted and so the alarm, while initially useful for drawing attention, does not help in solving the problem, so it is shut off to give men time to think. Just because we are not panicking or running around does not mean we are not thinking. We dont need the alarm to be on once we are made aware of the problem. Keeping it on all the time merely makes it blend into the background and keeps us in crisis mode for everything, so when actual problems arise we are unable to focus on it. Letting your man solve the problem means having patience and trusting him. If you love your man, follow his example and quiet your animal urge to panic when you're around him. Let us work in peace for a while and let the answer arrive before you cast your judgment. You can give critique and help in solving the problem, but when plan A is proven not to work, then you can raise the alarm again. See how well you can concentrate and solve problems with klaxons blaring in your ear and harsh lights flashing in your eyes. Women seem to think like some cruel taskmaster that making the alarm louder and harder to turn off will make men solve the problem quicker, when all it does is make the man angry. If you are not helping then you are making life harder. Don't make the alarm into a problem, because that is one of the easier things to solve.
In this episode, I discuss the third -- and final -- consideration for getting any man you want. If a woman has proven herself both functionally useful and sexually exciting, and she still hasn't been able to retain a desired relationship, in most cases it is because she has violated the unbreakable rule, namely: she has been difficult and disrespectful. Under no circumstances, can a woman allow herself to disrespect the man she wants. No exceptions.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
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Hi Orion great content. I am wondering how to manage expectations when I deal with two ideas you have talked about. First idea is the one where a man, while flirting, has to communicate that a woman is impressive beyond her looks, and the second is the idea that a woman has to earn commitment. I'm not saying the ideas completely contradict each other, but the first idea does seem to indicate that the woman has proven herself to some degree. Thoughts?
Lets say, if the woman showed herself useful, is attractive, and showed respect to me that other men didn't get. All to do is, give her the oppurtunity to show her slutty side?
sigh....the Holy Trinity is complete
@@1989Mordwin I think the key is to put it in a frame like you're intrigued but still evaluating her more. The dating coach Todd V teaches this kind of verbal game with a lot of nuance, and you might find his material on "evaluation" (qualification and disqualification) to be especially relevant. Overall I think you want to have a narrative like "You might be winning me over," but not like you're completely sold immediately.
Dr. Orion, can you recommend a book or two on how men need to be respected, or how to express differences without losing respect, please?
Married twenty years, By watching this episode I have a greater appreciation for my wife. She has never broken the unbreakable rule. I do not know if someone taught her or how she learned this rule. I have made mistakes and owned up to them and she has never used them to disrespect me. She speaks highly of me to her friends. Due to this, I love her and take care of her.
That’s because you never disrespected her.
@@Kick_Rocks No that's not how it works. It's an unbreakable rule. No excuses. There are respectful ways to express disapproval.
@@supercal333would you bet TS is a woman? That feminist pride is so transparent. It's so hopeless like a terminal cancer.
Consider yourself extremely lucky
Key words: I take care of her.
As a man, I watch these videos because society tells men how to behave towards women, but never the other way around, so I don't even know what valuable traits I should seek for in a woman and how she should treat me. These are extremely valuable for men as well.
You are so correct joaquin67! It's been a good four generations since society has told women how they should treat their men. It's all about expectations and demands.
Same here brother!
@@Zxcvbueisn444I'm here 😉
Great point
She should value you and your skills.
It’s true. As a man I can get disrespected anywhere, I don’t need to buy dinner to get crapped on.
You are right. Some women will gladly crap on you for free.😂
that's gold
You have quickly become my favourite channel. As a woman who was raised to be a career woman and not a loving and respectful wife, I really appreciate your channel. It helps me avoid any future pitfalls which I’ve seen many women in my family fall into. 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for your support!
Know about Vasopressin bonding if you want to bond with him emotionally.
@@srikrishnavasanth3895could you explain 😅
That's so awesome! Keep going! Being a present and loving mother is one of the most important jobs ever....it's a shame we live in a world that devalues and shames women for wanting to take care of their home and kids.@blessedsuburbanmamma7062
I will go even further and say: If a man ALLOWS his woman to disrespect him for long enough, she will leave him. She will view him as something less than a man.
Could be in some cases. She definitely loses attraction though
The ancient Greeks were aware of this. There is the story of the sorcerer Circe who turns men into pigs. When she realizes her magic won’t work on Jason, leader of the Argonauts because he’s protected by the goddess Athena, she falls at his feet and begs to sleep with him. Women don’t respect weak men.
@@liberallooney6830 Yes, that's what I said.
What if he disrespects you all the time and deserves it?
@@TheMallyjoe Try to stay on subject. This particular video deals with women disrespecting men.
However, if he constantly disrespects you, then you are foolish to continue being with him. I would say the same to any man who's woman constantly disrespects him. Don't be a fool.
Regarding the yelling and screaming and lack of accountability, Bill Burr has a great take on this in his “There’s no reason to hit a woman” set. To paraphrase, even hockey has penalties for instigating. Women fight by yelling, crying, and insulting men and then are surprised by a man being angry as a result. To the woman I might love, I will fight the world for you, but I won’t fight you for you.
Damn! I will fight the world for you but I won't fight you for you might just be the most poetic and succulent way to summarize my feelings towards women.
Women can tell I'm about them equal fights, if you get my meaning.
There is never a reason for a gentleman to hit a lady. This rule does not extend to 304s on the attack.
@@icfubar9150
Same difference
I think that set from bill inspired the topic of this video.
Yep. NEVER say anything behind someone’s back that you are not willing to say to their face. Life gets really simple and really peaceful…
As a therapist, I’ve been telling my clients this for years!! So well said. Lots of women don’t want to hear it.
Guys stop giving women money
Those who,"don't want to hear it", might as well get a cat and a box of wine for those lonely nights in perpetuity...
@@georgeelder8415
The only thing women do genuinely is stare at babies and spend other people's money. Everything else is fake.
You are going to have a lot of clients over the next couple of decades.
The level of disrespect in women as a whole is through the roof.
I wish it were true. The stupid thing is that those people are the ones who drag others down in their everyday lives with their attitude. And they unintentionally sabotage others emotionally and poison their thoughts. So it rubs off on other women and men. @@georgeelder8415
Oh my GOD 😮 I just realized that the reason my man snapped was because of the words I said. It was my fault! I said hurtful things to him and he flipped out. I realize now I provoked him. Thank you! I love ❤your videos so much you’re my favorite!
Hahahaha!!! Good one!
When the disrespect starts, its time to leave. Disrespect shows 2 things: 1. she is not emotionally stable and is going to do negative behaviours, e.g. moan, complain and harass you. 2. the reason she hasn't left is because she hasn't found a better financial replacement yet (but the clock is ticking). Your only power is to walk away.
The disrespect thing is right on. The financial thing isn’t. Guys with nothing else compelling to offer women love to blame money rather than their boring, unpleasant, and unimproved selves. I lived with a doctor/yoga instructor while making $20 and hour, so I already know this isn’t the case through lived experience again and again. But I’m fun. Women want feelings. Yeah a small percentage will take money if you can’t put anything else on the table, but only a jackass gives those women the time of day anyway.
@@chrisstone2506as a woman, I think you’re correct. I’ve dated many men who earned less than me. It wasn’t that big an issue. However there is a sizable segment (and growing) of women who “Chase the bag” and there is no satisfying them unless you’re a pay pig. Muh feelings and good vibes won’t work with them.
Replace "financial" with "masculinity". The disrespect starts when she senses that you are not as masculine as she thought you were. When you drop in masculinity, you drop in attractiveness.
@@dannyt503um, NO. When people understand what they value then they can look for it in à partner. That is where respect comes from. You can't fake respect.
@sallybella8824 I totally agree. The thing that women value the most in their partner is the masculine traits of their partner.
Brilliant as always Orion! One possible addendum: Ladies, if you do, on the rare occasion, disrespect your man, or think that you may have, APOLOGIZE! You’ve covered this in another video but I think it bears repeating here. Men appreciate people who take accountability for their actions. So you can actually end up raising his opinion of you if proactively apologize and take accountability. Just don’t ever repeat the offending behavior.
Yes! Apologize and talk about it. Why the disrespect happened, does she want a change but a man doesn't pick up on her "clues" and now she is frustrated. Maybe she didn't mean it as disrespect but he took it that way.
Apolo-what? 404 program not found
Thanks for saying this. If I unintentionally disrepect my man I want to know so I can apologize. I just need him to tell me and not make me guess what is wrong.
I don't agree and here is WHY. 90 % of the time it's because man does something OFFENSIVE/ disrespectful to a woman. For example, disregarding her feelings completely, putting her thru days in thru silence, saying something low key rude to trigger her
..MOST WOMEN don't out of nowhere wouldn't just call you M.F JERK, ASSHOLE or whatever. It usually is an AFTER EFFECT of men's rude/ dismissive behavior.
Also....just " don't REPEAT behavior "....people are people and when people get emotional/hurt they easily say something out of hurt. Nobody will be a PERFECT soldier. Don't TRIGGER her again and most likely it wouldn't happen again. YET if a man is not taking on ACCOUNTABILITY for hurtful things....for hurtful triggers....then yes women can say things FREELY
Thanks!, Orion! Your whole collection has been super helpful. Ive let go of a few ideas or beliefs I hadnt realized I was embracing, and oblivious to being long overdue to revisit. It was the middle of 2021 when I fairly quickly went through that turmoil of emotions common when one is "redpilled." I recognized the similarity to the emotional path of grief, loss, or estrangement. Still, at 42 years old that summer and fall in 2021, getting some clarity with ideas I hadnt worked out yet, greater understanding with the nuances, complexities or tendencies that evolved in human psychology common to us all, vary by lifestage, or differ in prevalence by gender, status, family dynamic, or whatever experiences your content delivers has been profoundly helpful to correctl and repair those deep neurological grooves of misunderstanding. I am grateful for the knowledge that you share. What you have offered I’m glad to see is increasingly found, embraced, and has clearly helped many, and before your 2-year RUclips creator trial came up.
$100, no comments. No reply from Channel, and far less upvotes. I see this most of the time. All this tells me this new comment feature is for RUclips Inc only; trying to catch up on systems and cultures that are well developed in places like Twitch.
@@dudejoe8390 Thanks for your take on this. I’m not a RUclips expert, and I don’t know much about the algorithm effect for creators channel curation. Regarding comments, eliciting replied is a skill or intention of the submitter. The content poster benefits engaging with their audience, subscriber or not, but it seems an opportunity cost effort to me. There wasn’t a RUclips Inc influence on money being sent or the amount, although I’ve heard it’s only 60% to the channel. The points you mention are more important to leverage for some, and not so much for others, whether content creator or content viewer.
Thanks for the donation on behalf of the members, im sure the channel moderator have not yet noticed your comment
Great video! Through my lens as an experienced divorce lawyer, here is the biggest problem men face regarding disrespect from a woman: once a man gets married, the exit cost (divorce) can be very substantial. I have seen some of the nastiest, most disrespectful women treat their husbands in horrific ways, knowing he will take it and she will get away with extreme levels of disrespect because his cost to divorce her will be very high. The solution in many western countries: a) do not get married and do not cohabitate in a married like state, b) have a properly drafted prenup in place and live in a prenup friendly jurisdiction. You can still have terrific intimate relationships without worrying about someone turning into a disrespectful beast who has state divorce laws on their side.
Women must stop having s*x outside of marriage.
[she will get away with extreme levels of disrespect because his cost to divorce her will be very high]
Men can Always get a Signed Divorce Settlement Agreement Outside of Court giving the Man Everything he wants in the Divorce....that's what I did.
High Exit Costs Avoided
You know prenuptial agreements are regularly thrown out by judges. You're another skeevy vampire, banking on men ground up by the machine and playing innocent like the women with whom you tacitly collaborate.
@@forgottenfuryan
R U Responding 2 ME or 2 @jcnlaw ?
@@forgottenfuryan The validity of prenups is dependent on the jurisdiction where they are litigated. In Pennsylvania, judges can’t modify or set aside properly drafted prenups. This is not the case in all jurisdictions. In many Canadian provinces, courts can and do modify prenups or set them aside. The safest way to proceed is to stay single. I would be just as happy if nobody got divorced (or married).
WOW!! This is the video that has led me to becoming a channel member. I have never agreed so much with someone on RUclips about relationships.
From another perspective, and as a woman, I knew it early on in life instinctively that I could never be with a man I don't respect. I chose one and through many ups ans downs I'm still with him. Will never choose another. There were times I've made mistakes and apologized, he also knows that i truly repented and made efforts to change. He's had his share of mistakes. We all do. As long as we're trying to grow and change into a better version of ourselves, we're doing good. We all deserve love and forgiveness. Peace. ❤❤
On point. I have told my wife early when we were dating that love is overrated (overshadowing respect) because you can respect without much love and the relationship can be more or less healthy, but you can never ever have true love without respect, and a relationship cannot be healthy either.
And the respect should be MUTUAL
PsycHacks, I really appreciate you speaking truthfully, as a therapist about this controversial subject. I grew up with a traditional Pakistani mother who spoke to us and informed us of all the things you say.
However, my Canadian upbringing taught me to speak my mind, that I am an empowered modern woman unlike the women of old. And unfortunately, this has lead me to assert my power in the form of disrespect especially when I felt inferior or subordinate, powerless in some way. Now adays, women are told to value power, dominance, self-indulgence and self-regard above all else.
However I think we can all agree that we should treat people how we would like to be treated ourselves.
How many of enjoy being criticized or talked down to at every turn? Feeling like every single thing we do is never enough?
It makes a lot more sense now why all my relationships ended the way they did, there is a lot of truth still post feminism of the adage, 'you can attract a lot more bees with honey than vinegar' But of course, we are now being taught to be our 'authentic selves'.
I just wish I listened to mom much earlier, she was right. God bless her and give her a long life.
My mom never disrespected my Dad... Until recently, when she got dementia. But that doesn't really count as disrespect and he knows that. And that's why he's taking care of her now going into 63 years of being married.
If you make your authentic self someone who doesn't disrespect others, then that's that
Is this controversial, or did you just grow up being told wrong info?
My last relationship ended in screaming like the Valentine's Day guy. I planned a nice date and was screamed at because it wasn't perfect in her mind. The screaming was so intense that I couldn't explain the benefit of the date (to both of us). After 6 months of very thoughtful dates I'd planned, this one was interpreted "like I was taking her to CVS" (her words). In this case "CVS" was a friend's art show. Turned out to be the most fun day I had in the year. Without her.
Try overboard. I had similar issues with being romantic in the west. & truth me. I tried serval western places and ladies. Well if you can call them that
Sounds like she just wanted to sabotage the relationship. They do that sometimes when they are too immature to pull the trigger themselves they just make the hoops to jump through smaller and smaller then take a jab at your masculinity when you fail. You get provoked and bow its YOUR fault for shouting and YOU ended the relationship. Dont beat yourself up. Its a cowards play. You did good.
Was it something that she actually liked or mentioned in the past. My gifts for my man is always based on him. Not what i want to get him............. stop being selfish and do things that she actually liked. My ex did this. Get me anything he wanted, which wasnt geared towards me at all but more geared upon him. Thats selfish and not cool at all. You said that you thought out dates but did you really???? Lets be real
@@Tnc874 Art shows were something she liked, yes. What she didn't like was that the location was inconvenient (for both us). But if this is your response upon listening to his video, you missed the point.
@@LaitoChen This may be the correct answer. She'd done exactly that once, and I walked. She returned begging forgiveness and promised not to do it again, but did it again the moment she started falling for me, at least by my perception.
As a Woman, unfortunately I couldn't agree more with this last rule. I also think this is a cultural behavior that's more prevalent in the US. I'm French and I can tell you that very few of the women I interacted with in ny country thought I was OK for a second to disrespect her Man
I speak a little French not much I would love to know more about French and USA surrounding I am from the UK this sound interesting say hi I would love to talk lots maybe?
Thank you for these 3 episodes. They have helped me immensely. My bf keeps telling me about my mouth & about respect for him. I hope you have saved my relationship. I'm eternally grateful ty ty ty. Been trying ti understand this over a year now. This is it!!
Do you think you have absorbed some of feminist message that men are spoilt by society and don't deserve respect?
Does he disrespect you though?
No
@@sherryp3411 Was that No to TS_303 or me or both?
You are fortunate he has told you this several times. Consider these “passes” after the first time. Make the changes or find yourself on the outside.
Thanks for your help. This 3-part Serie just one handedly help me keep my sanity.
It all comes down to one thing, Accountability. It’s that simple.💯
yes, this and the rest of the advice is the best ever. that's it, that's the answer! the trouble is getting a woman to actually live by such advice even when she knows it's true. that would mean overcoming her nature. that hardly ever happens. it's then best to be prepared by always **always** maintaining an exit plan 😎
women will never hold themselves accountable, at most it may sound like they do but that's only lip service to make you chill when you angri dadi. Learn how to check women who are disrespectful and punish them (not physically, but by silence and indifference, they hate that shit... but they will try to make you angry on purpose at that time, and if you get angry, you lose, so hold steady)
@@Promet17
I get angry consequence or not they're used to getting off easy.
@@forgottenfuryan then you show them it doesn't fly with you. If you have to let women off with any bullshit they give you, you might as well not have those women or just use them "recreationally."
@@Promet17
The last woman I went off on chased me for a decade. I'm not on the market. I have adult films. This way I'll never be falsely accused, I won't have some hoe phase influencing my personality and I won't be a broke, sad, weekend dad. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces, 60% of mothers are single and raise 80% of inmates and 85% of children with behavioral disorders. Did you want some of that? Half of generation X women are childless with only 1% by choice. Do you notice them when they're not asking for the manager?
I’ve never been able to find a woman in the US that won’t rip this rule to shreds every chance she gets. My current girlfriend grew up in another country and moved here a few years ago and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had by leaps and bounds.
Keep her under quarantine from the heifers.
Ugh. I think I’ve come to the same conclusion. Gotta find someone who isn’t completely westernized.
Ladies/women if you can check the boxes and still don't have the man you want simply put: HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!!! Move on. Love the content 💚
This bird, Completely missed the point
Say hi
I appreciate this channel and often binge the videos. Thank you so much for what you do ⭐️
This is the first time i've donated to a channel
You have a point )
As a woman, it’s the most helpful episode so far.
All of society panders to women. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
It's not about the nail, damnit!
I suspect, for many women it will be a difficult habit to break.
@@virtual-viking
Half of generation X women are childless with only 1% being intentionally. That's karma.
@@virtual-vikingmen are doing some incredible shit sometimes, but he is right, anyway even if you just vent it out, you don’t respect the guy anymore. The right response is distance yourself and leave.
Well done Orion. There is nothing more than will drag a woman down than her disrespecting her man.
Hay say hi I understand what you are saying?
Literally the best advice I've ever heard and 100% true, factual and correct. To relate to John Gottman as well, contempt is the one thing you cannot do in ANY relationship. There are many things that will contribute to a failed relationship but contempt is the one thing that guarantees it. And disrespect is very close to contempt.
The average woman goes on 40 "dates" a year the average man goes on 10 dates a year. Women, after one year, let alone a decade, the average woman has unfathomable contempt for all but the top 10% of men. Women file 80% of divorces and marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
I struggle to find women lovable in the long term, so I watched this series to look for a hint on what to look for. While I didn't find my answer per se, all three things are definitely things whose lack would be a deal breaker for me and many other men. Let me comment on two things Orion said here as a man, and let me add another he didn't say, but that smart men who understand women know.
1. *Disrespect annoying men is spot on.* There was one girl I was close to dating at my uni years ago. We were having nice conversations and had fun hanging out together. Some flirt here and there. But when I greeted her one day, she replied with a snarky manner and looked at me provocatively. I immediately felt annoyed, but calmly tried to find out what was wrong. I found nothing but more snarky remarks. That was the end of it, I simply gave her a look and ignored her from that day on. She didn't talk to me, either, so maybe it was on purpose to get rid of me, but it worked if so. No apology, no relationship.
2. *Talking shit about your man to another person is considered a big red flag among men,* and any self-respecting man will dump you for this as soon as he hears it. In fact, no self-respecting man who can keep his PP in his pants will date any woman who talks shit about others behind their back. If you can talk shit about someone else (especially someone close to you or prominent in your life, such as your friend, family, boss), it's only an issue of time before you talk shit about your guy when you have an argument (and it's impossible to never argue).
3. *The thing Orion didn't say is that disrespect can very easily make the woman give up on the relationship first.* This is because women, subconsciously or consciously, test men with disrespect (don't deny it). A masculine man will check his woman for this, and she will be glad because it shows her he is still the strong guy she likes. If he doesn't, the disrespect (the tests) will escalate until he does. OR until the woman finds out that the man is trash because he doesn't dare to talk back to her when she disrespects him (at least that's how women see it), at which point the woman will check out of the relationship first because she will decide he's not that guy she liked/loved anymore. Who will never dare to talk balk? A simp, a beta male, a doormat, however you call it. And I think it's perfectly alright. Gotta cull those simps. Personally, I only hate that I never understood it clearly myself, and had to be told this to fully understand the importance of it.
I would not have seen this if I hadn't put 'newest comments' on. Useful points.
waitm what do you mean by "A masculine man will check his woman for this, and she will be glad because it shows her he is still the strong guy she likes"? i don't get it, check this how?
@@nannuky1128 what I mean is, for example, that if my girlfriend calls me names, she'll get rebuked (checked), and if that doesn't help, there are other consequences she can face
@@nannuky1128 He tells her - don't talk to me like that or some such other comment. Or he ignores her for a couple of days. Some kind of negative feedback that informs her she can't behave however she wants.
If my girlfriend/wife treated me like a boss, that would feel amazing. I think this often happens early in a relationship when you're in the "honeymoon phase". The problems come once a couple has lived together for a while or has been married for a while and pressures come like money troubles or the stresses of parenting. At this point, a lot of men put up with being disrespected regularly because it's too painful/expensive to break up or divorce. Even worse if you have kids. The man is stuck because he can't complain unless he wants her to leave and take half of his stuff and possibly the kids too. This happened to me.
I’m sorry to hear that.
I'm at the very edge of being too old to consider children. I think about it a lot. For me the crucial question about that is whether it's better for them to be ignorant of existence or to be extant and face all the joys and sorrows that come with it. As life goes on and I experience more painful health problems it's something I'm increasingly doubtful about. But for the selfish reasons of providing meaning and love that are generally considered the benefits of starting a family, it seems so tenuous and fragile, and rely so much on one other person, it seems destined to fail under the weight of it's own importance. I enjoy many things in life, but complete freedom is certainly accompanied by a tendency to nihilism, so I won't say for sure I think this is better, but the nuclear family looks to me, from my friends and family, to be such a psychological battleground I'm not at all sure it's the ideal solution.
Plenty of women submit to their husbands. You know the biggest reason women divorce men nowadays, as divorce lawyers state? Because even when both people are working, they're all expected to cover all the household responsibilities as well. Why would you respect someone who's useless around the house and can't even pick up his socks but thinks he's entitled to being a king? Zero accountability from 🍼 men
@@Music-fg3bj For a man it's much better to marry a woman who wants to be a home-builder and care-giver than a career woman. If the economy of the West/USA is designed to screw over couples, from the man's pov as described here, then it's better to work, save and move abroad where that's legitimate for that man.
As you say, the 2-income necessity in the West/US is cause for strife. From the man's pov: What value does having a competitor bringing home the salary then a competitor out-competing on the home-making add to his life? It DEVALUES it.
As for women, who live and work in this environment: Good luck finding a man you're happy with.
So in other words you want to be "respected" regardless of your leadership issues? Whats actually happening is, as usual when things get real, you don't know what to do. So "respect" is another way of saying you want to have sentimental value to her. However, if you portrayed yourself as the "boss", then you lack sentimental value by default. People then "respect" what you do. Would you stay working at a company if the leader couldn't lead properly & the company was going bankrupt? Would you be loyal & happy if they lowered your wage, and added more responsibilities to your plate? Not really. Respect is capsulized emotionalism.
Respect isn’t only the foundation of society, but also the backbone of manhood.
There men working themselves into early grave to lead countries or corporations for respect, and men spending years in prison for being disrespected.
Through the years, I saw that women disrespect others very often, because there’s no direct punishment for it.
For many women, it’s their second nature to disrespect others, as a means of expressing violence.
"For many women, it’s their second nature to disrespect others, as a means of expressing violence." And that leads the men to become physically violent in retaliation. Better to just jump ship than end up in jail or in hospital. Or even worse, in the morgue.
Men do not spend yours in prison for being "disrespected". That is a story they tell themselves, when their fragile egos are scratched. They have no impulse control, cannot control their anger. (plus other problems, like drug dealing, theft robbery). Even if a person is impolite - be it a stranger or family member there is no need to resort to violence. A mature person does not do that. They might end a relationship, but they do not have to prove to themselves or someoneelse that they can retaliate with violence when they feel disrespected.
As a woman, I suspect that I don’t really understand what a man feels is or isn’t disrespectful… As a side discussion, I have many times felt disrespected by men. But it has always been taboo to mention that I feel bad when they do this. In fact, from what I can work out, letting a man know he is being disrespectful will be seen by him as disrespectful. So it’s a catch-22. I’d love a response to this problem. Perhaps there is a better was to see it?
It's pretty obvious what is disrespectful to a man. Any comment that demeans his efforts/physicality/economic situation/intelligence - especially in front of other people.
It's very, very simple and very very obvious when women do this.
100%
Usually they gaslight you and don't really care about your feelings. I'm not saying that u must act with disrespect but he doesn't really give a fck when he's being disrespectful to you. They think that you're being overly dramatic. You can never win with men, unless he's a man that really deserve respect and won't treat you with less of it.
"Felt" 😂
It's not as hard as you're making it out to be. If you tell your man you feel disrespected by XYZ thing, but do so in a serene and non-accusing way, unless he's unstable then he'll take it well. If you're not sure about your tone just pretend you're talking to a judge or your boss. If he still flips out even then, find another man.
Respect is HUGE for men, just as much as feeling loved and beautiful is HUGE for women.
I'm a woman, and I would much rather be treated with respect than hear dumb falsehoods that I'm "beautiful."
Assume you're a man who's short or of average height. Would you want your wife to tell you constantly that you're tall? Would that substitute for treating you decently? Of course not.
I don't care about feeling "loved" what does that even mean? I care about can I trust you and can I respect u and u me vice versa
Don’t disrespect anyone. Every person deserves respect unless proven otherwise.
Not to disrespect your thinking, but you both said something absolute and a tolerated loophole.
Respect is earned, not given. What you probably mean to say is that you should be polite to everyone. Yes, you should generally treat people with polite behavior.
This is specific to relationships. Of course we are respectful to everyone, in a general sense. The idea is to not disrespect your partner or prospective partner because we get comfortable with people we’re familiar with and sometimes we relax those standards and take them for granted. Respect at all times is a good rule of thumb.
@@modelchanger1332 It depends on the situation. You could be out in public and see an elderly person trying to lift something to put into their car and they are struggling, going over to help that person is a sign of respect, thoughtfulness and kindness. Or you could be planning a party at your house, and you know you are going to get loud with your friends, so you go to your neighbors to let them know and tell them to please let you know if you are disturbing their piece; that's respect and courtesy. You may not know your neighbors, but you give them a heads-up on your plans out of respect for your neighborhood. Perhaps you have a foul mouth (Like me), and you are around a religious person who doesn't curse; you watch what you are saying out of respect. There are so many scenarios in life where you show respect, but it's not earned.
You don't have to know someone personally to be respectful of them. Respect is a sign of integrity regarding your character, not another person's.
Man this great. Excellent explanation. My ex-wife was pretty good at all 3 and then it dropped off. Disrespectful in words..gestures...and actions led to divorce after 15 years together.
Like he said, my peace of mind was a better choice for me.
Thanks for pointing out how we men (at least me myself and pretty almost every other men I have encountered in my life) do think and feel about respect and disrespect from our partners.
Fake respect, fake disrespect, real indifference.
To anyone watching this just out of curiosity: as far as I can tell, this works fine for other relationships too - except the sluttiness is replaced by other social proofs. Be invaluable, share the undeniable kinds of proof of deep connection, and show respect.
The average man goes on 10 dates a year the average woman goes on 40 "dates" a year. What men in their right mind wants banker Chad's leftovers? Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
smart
@@lightdarklightdarklightdark
"Be chad so used up Becky's will notice you" -- Boomer
It works with mentors. If you want to up your game, find someone who is better than you and offer useful service so that you can remain close to them and learn from them.
I'd add that in
I was in a relationship for 10 years, she pretty much quit cooking, cleaning, she slowed way down on the sex.... I was willing to put up with both those things. Then she started running her mouth everyday! I am now single.
Well played, Sir.
I think they can bend all 3 rules, but at some point if combination of the 3 cross a certain threshold, its game over.
Was there something she was saying about what you were doing while she was running her mouth? Or you just tuned it out because women shouldn’t have their own needs and expectations of their partner
@@artisticagi Women should have reasonable needs and expectations of their partner. Stop straw-manning. It's such a typical female response.
The issue is women have VASTLY more needs, expectations and DEMANDS of men than men do of women. It's a near comical mismatch.
It isn't that men ignore those needs, it's that it gets to a stage where their needs get so preposterous it becomes impossible to satisfy their constantly ungrateful ass.
As well you know if you'd bothered to examine the state of the culture or self reflected at all.
It's precisely why channels like this are getting traction and its long overdue.
No, she wasn't talking to me, she was talking to her friends and when one of them got black out drunk and started hitting me, and then said this the next morning; "I'm sorry, but your mean to EX" I still put up with it for another year until my daughter got hit.
@@artisticagi
I called that you were going to talk about respect right before you mentioned it. This is because you have made previous videos on the nature of respect and it just felt like a natura conclusion to the holy trinity of good qualities in women. This channel if a goldmine of knowledge
PART 3, FINALLY! Not that I can particularly use this info since im not a woman, but the curiousity was killing me!
Brilliant insights shared. Excellent job
I'd been spending time with this girl over a period of several months, and one day I stopped when I realized that there were zero conversations we'd held that didn't have me feeling criticized and laughed AT. Right or wrong, I didn't like how it felt to be with her. So that was it.
I felt that horrible way with my sister while we were on a family vacation, I could not open my mouth at all and not being made wrong or stupid. I love my sister but no more going on vacation with her.
It is really the unbreakable rule. If I think back to the reason I ended many relationships, it was because of this. In some cases, it wasn’t a disrespect to me, but to my family members 😂
Chad
Disrespect is disrespect.
Thanks so much for this video, Dr. Orion. Appreciate your insights.
The last point is very hard as women are never or very little taught how to respect a man (creating dismissing attitude). One of the comments show this:
"I am so sorry for you that your ego is so fragile that ..." -> this is a common behavior for women. (passive aggressive/gaslighting)
It's so heartbreaking and sad looking at today's society that it's so hard for women to connect with a man (especially in a husband/wife) relationship.
I'm afraid, many women will and would never change her stance, and might even use this knowledge to manipulate more men in the future.
And to women who understand this, you get it.
Per usual PsycHacks nails it:
1. Woman disrespects man
2. Woman doesn’t want to hear man tell her why that’s not ok
3. Man leaves (or becomes distant in relationship) because woman disrespects man and will not hear him out
If that has better options, he's gone. Men want peace & respect.
Nice to hear for the guy, too. I've experienced women using this playbook with me and loved it! She gave to me and I gave to her, gladly and joyfully supporting each other and having a blast with life!
It can also create a dilemma for the man when he is not attracted to a woman who is operating in step 1.
Thank you. I know this is true, but I have messed up when I’m really, really tired or really, really hungry. And you’re right! If I was speaking with my boss or a customer, I would remain respectful even if I just wanted to eat and go to sleep. Thanks for the reminder.
Just apologize. You may be surprised as to how far that will go when you recognize the issue, explain, and apologize. He will be very grateful and c want to keep you. I would
I was scrolling through the comments here to see women's takes. Yours is the first one. What I notice are the excuses, tired - hungry. Do they really excuse the disrespect? Disrespect to a man cuts to the very core in questioning the why of his commitment. A man may put up with other crap but disrespect will be felt by him in his very soul and cause him to deeply question WTF he is doing with this other. Glad to read you understand this male fragility regarding respect or lack thereof.
@@icfubar9150 Over my 60 years I have on occasion been short with my replies to my friends, parents, strangers… not intentionally and not without regret. But the reality is that all humans, when not feeling their best, tend not to act their best. Regarding men: as a woman with 4 brothers, it makes me so sad to see a woman publicly disrespect a man. I know it is killing him inside.
@@badstar9670 Thank you!
If a guy used these excuses he not only he would be knocked out of his teeth but ridiculed as well.
It's amazing how much you can get away with if you are not a man
Great stuff. Having said that, the other side of the coin is that just because a man has testicles, it does not grant him respect. As men we should be diligently striving for deserving the respect we need. I had the same conversation with a woman a couple nights ago where she was going on and on about her BF, although wrong in speaking of him behind his back ( i listened). He literally was not deserving of respect 35 sucking on mom's teat, making bad financial decisions, throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old in a fancy restaurant because he was hungry. She keeps going back to him, i just wanted to ask her who's fault is this? Yours or his for tolerating this relationship?
I agree, exactly, sometimes some men are not doing things that are what makes a woman respect him, like being lazy a lot or constant complaining, then if he would step up, more respect would be earned and it would be easier to respect..
yes, not a man deserving of respect, exactly
i had a guy who just after having sex, would text another girl that "I love your face" , thinking i don't understand because they would talk in spanish. but i can understand spanish.
You’ve got some really useful ideas here. I’d love to see an episode where you talk about how one CAN express disagreement or discomfort with a partner in a respectful, relationship-growing way.
lol you skipped every single day in school?
Wow you learned how to express disagreement with a partner in American schools everyday? I might agree if it was a school in another country.
Sidenote…i think most people learn relationship habits from their parents, not school.
@@eattravellovejoy20 Learning to express disagreements with your class and schoolmates are one of the most fundamental routines to learn and master in school. It is already a part of the mandatory things kids in learn in kindergarden.
@@andersnielsen6044 Your example seems to show that you didn't actually learn this yourself. Why would a stranger on the internet be any less deserving of being spoken to in a respectful way than what you're saying you learned to give to a classmate in kindergarten? Your "lol, you didn't learn this in school" has contempt at it's core. That's not respect. Why?
@@earth_and_spice I expect adult human beings to be able to drink and eat on their own hand. What was asked for was basic human behavior, that should have been learned at the socializing-stage of any childhood. If you have not learned that back then - you belong behind locked doors in a mental hospital.
This is the sole reason I've broken up with every girlfriend I've ever had.
Could not agree more
They always think it's because we can't keep our pants on, they don't know they're obnoxious 😂
One precision is missing though. A woman can act respectfully but still lack _appreciation_ for her man's good qualities. She doesn't see the good for all it's worth which in time can lead toward distancing. One might say it goes in the respect category but I like to separate the two.
Bro why you only attracting those girls?
Be best version of yourself, and you will attract better partner
Agree
as a 26 yr old man im watching this to help remove the brain washing society has imposed on me due to the toxic feminism movement
society keeps telling men how to treat women but never NEVER the other way around. i found out about your channel from fresh and fit podcast and man i cant get enough of these videos JACKPOT
Good for you man. Define expectations and boundaries.
Same age as you bro. I grew up being taught essentially to be a doormat by church, my family, my school, everything in media. You start to reach a point and wonder why. Like why does one gender have to resign themselves to the service of the others. Good news, in 2024, you don’t! You get to have standards and expectations too. This is the TRUE reward for men creating options. If a man has options, he doesn’t need to tolerate disrespect or have low standards for a relationship. Creating options gives you the freedom to reject women. Which is CRUCIAL. I’m glad men are waking up and realizing that their lives are just as valuable as women’s, and provided we play the game of the sexual marketplace right, we can have what we want too. It comes later in life for most men, but time is on our side. We don’t have to settle for a subpar relationship. This information is priceless
Feminism is not toxic. Chivalry is not bad. But yes both sides need to respect the other.
Amazing principle! They’re going to have a hard time with this one 😅. For Western women, suppressing oneself feels like not being true to oneself. They’ll rationalize the failed relationship as the man having a fragile ego. Happens all the time
Sad truth. " what? I'm the problem?!"
Always is met with extra context to "prove"he is trash from her perspective. The key for me is, when you ask about Past relationships and it's always the man's fault it didn't work out. You run away, Run FAST!
In many countries it is still the standard for women, to suppress oneself and dedicate service to husband. At least my mom didn’t fail on this, but most probably on the slut thing, after giving birth to kids (lost libido) at least that’s what I got from some honest conversation with dad😂
The thing is, they stopped being true to themselves first when they tried to have a relationship with a man that they didn't respect.
People will mishear this video as saying that women should put up with shit from the man they want and that the man can do anything he likes but, if the woman has any self respect, she wiill only get involved with a man that she respects and the issue just wont come up except by accident, in which case an apology should be quickly given and accepted.
@N.i.c.k.H Miscommunication is like 80% of all relationship problems! At least, In my experience....
Western men are disrespectful that’s also a reason. Look in the mirror.
This is the most important rule for women to understand TO KEEP A MAN (not just get his attention)... this is the rule that women don't understand helps a man choose a 6/10 over a 9/10. This is the rule that makes a man who has self-respect walk away from a woman who is functionally useful and sexually exciting. This is the rule that women will find the most difficulty in abiding and this is why passport bros will continue to grow in numbers... because rather than deal with a renovation, why not just start with a new house on good foundation? we don't want an old house 'with character'
The average man goes on 10 dates a year. The average woman goes on 40 "dates" a year. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces. Let's all clamor for banker Chad's Tuesday leftovers!
If a man stays with such woman it is only too keep his serviceorgan... His love is gone - forever.
I am confused by your 6/10 and your 9/10 ... which one is the old house with character that needs possible renovations and which is the new hours on a new foundation? ( You Know the way some houses are constructed these days they just “ Throw them together “ and there are always leaks, cracks and weak floors and out of alignment walls. They don’t get sealed up to keep rodents and insects out of the houses also. / I met a Senator from Tennessee when I was younger and he was very interested in me but he was betrothed to a woman and their marriage was considered “ a marriage of convenience “ and was arranged by their parents. At some point in Time , he wanted to reconnect with me. However, after6 daughters and 1 son, and a divorce later, I told him that he had kept me waiting too long and not to put my love upon a shelf. I like a container of milk was reduced by two marriages and divorces and an “ Expiration Date”. ) Dude, haven’t you learned that a Pretty face / body don’t mean a Pretty Heart? I met a guy who I had sent a picture of my face to and I said that it was my scary face because I had not worn makeup in years since some men told me that I looked better without it. Then , I put on my “ War paint “ and sent him a picture. He said that I looked “ Gorgeous “. But, what he really liked is how I talked “ dirty” to him. Yep, I pulled that termite right out of my woodwork. He was a “ Scammer” and was up to using me to commit “ Fraud” and “ Embezzlement “. I gave him a Warning to cease and desist this illegal behavior before he gets apprehended and serves Time in a prison. Then , I blocked him as my banker suggested. According to Sadia Psychology and many other psychologists, pornographic pictures and internet porn are addicting and ruining men. When I was attending massage school , one of my teachers said that “ men should save their Jing chi ( life force/ semen ) by not self pleasuring . I take care of an elderly man who had marriage difficulties and masterbated frequently. He says that nowadays his soldier cannot stand at attention but he can squirt. ... Things to think about. 👍👍🙏🎱🦋✨✝️ 13:04
@@emmalove135
Tell Senator Chad we said hello, crazy cat lady.
@@forgottenfuryan Who is Senator Chad? ( I was referring to Al Gore , jr. and I never had sex with him. Men’s minds are so f.u.c.k.e.d. Up , especially when they let their penis ‘s do their thinking for them. ) I do have a cat. If I am “ crazy”, I will never steer you Wrong. I think you need to find a better “ TROLL “ school because the one you attend at present is a flop. 🎱🦋✨✝️
It goes both ways. I respect a man but once he crosses my boundaries by disrespecting me first and i tell him that he is being disrespectful but yet tries to act like i did something wrong by expressing myself, then i believe he is not emotionally mature. With my experience they have wanted a doormat. One who does not express herself. No way will that be me. They can ghost me after i express that they disrespected me all they want. Thats not a grown man and there fore they want a female who is afraid to express her feelings when something doesnt feel right. A female who is a people pleaser. Thats not me. I will call bullshit when i need to and if they leave then dont let the door hit you from behind.
You seem to have had lots of bad experiences I hope you are ok?
Modern women literally complain about their men for breakfast and disrespect them for lunch.
Isn't odd they all break rules for certain kind of men!
Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
Where's dinner?
Men hate everything women do and think they're too good to do the housework. Women disrespect men because men disrespect women.
@@forgottenfuryan Good. Only excellent matches should prevail.
You got the Proverbs 14:1 scripture wrong. It's: "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands".
Thank you so much for making this video. I was in a 19 year marriage. Disrespected on a weekly and than almost daily basis at the end. A few physical fights over the years and then I just gave up and began to see other women until I moved out two years later.
Tried to stick around for my children, but should have really never gotten married to such a horrid person if I am being honest. I was dumb and had no guidance like many others I am sure.
This video series is not just for women: it's definitely for the men too! What I mean by this, I personally was unaware of what I wanted from a woman, and I washed all three videos, and you hit the nail on the head! This is exactly my soulmate, my twin flame, my boo, whatever label you want to add, this is the perfect woman I'm looking for.
If the respect isn’t there, nothing else matters. I’ve learned this over the decades. Disrespect is contagious as is respect
Another absolutely on point piece!
Great topic idea for and Maggie for wife school
This is perfect. I'd say about 95% of the rejections I've doled out over the years are for disrespect, the rest were elements of hygiene, health, or as you pointed out, just damn useless dead weight or worse, dragging me backwards or not being my second out in public where I talk and do business. Those shop keepers/business contacts give me wide berth until they see the woman acting right, or removed.
I have learnt a lot by watching your videos. As a woman, its an eye opener.Its hard being a woman but it gets harder if you keep getting in your own way.However, what you are asking of women all 3 things is very hard. Almost impossible.
Great video, I just want to point out something from my experience. 1. As a man, from a guy’s perspective this honestly seems like the easiest rule to abide by out of the three. 2. Somehow it seems to be the most difficult one for women to follow. I’ve had a couple of girlfriends in my life that were able to do the first two things with relative ease. The last one seems to be the one that western women struggle with and find the most difficult to abide by. It’s bizarre to me
Orion, this one is absolutely pure solid gold.
I can see a link of this clip being added in the Urban Dictionary under the definition of the word "Based."
Such well curated composition of the perfect collection of ideas, delivered with a concisely organized logic that's only possible when one has proper mastery and topical expertise. How the main point in your message came with a varied emotion from subtle accents of expression, and those dashes of profaninty is bound to bring a clarity to your intended audience that is rarely experienced. You are pretty f****** clever, bro. I'm going to send you a thanks and share the s*** out of this one.
The content was top notch from the start, the quality of videos is getting better and better... and I don't know who does the illustrations, is it an artist or some AI sorcery but they fit the channel perfectly. Eye candies!
A girl who was into me hit me on the arm when I said something she didn’t like to someone else. We weren’t even dating. I knew it was going to get worse if she got even more comfortable with me.
I had one of those. I warned her once, and the second time I caught her hand with my full grip strength and explained that I'd been in enough fights for it to be a conscious effort to NOT slam her head into the wall. One day I wasn't going to catch myself in time, and she'd be in a coma. That seemed to do the trick.
She probably liked u..
when women do this is usually cuz she wants u to man up & see her as a female potential mate, not as ur buddy.
I did this to a guy friend once, & I was shocked by my behavior. & I stopped talking to him, cuz I clearly didn’t respect him as a man.
I know she was into me. But there are other women who don't show appreciation through violence. She wasn't worth 'manning up' for. @@gloriamariadc7757
Woooaaw. I am blown away by how accurate this is ! Truly love to hear this. Women should be taught this and they ll be better off. Actually everyone would be
This goes both ways, or for any relationship combination that's meant to last.
- No self-respecting person tolerates disrespect from their partner. In other words, be ready to give what you expect.
EXACTLY. If man is offending her....SHE WILL OFFEND BACK. If his behavior comes off OFFENSIVE, she could offend VERBALLY. Respect is EARNED. Almost NEVER will a woman out of NOWHERE begin to talk SMACK. Same from men to a woman. IF YOU TALK SMACK or do something OFFENSIVE, you can't act SURPRISED that woman VERBALLY offended you
In theory what he says SOUNDS GREAT yet in REAL LIFE scenarios IT DOESN'T WORK unless man NEVER offends her
@@hemiltongrace6699 There are healthier ways to deal with feeling disrespected than simply dishing it back to your partner.
Thanks Doc, its so common to be disrespected, that I was litterly questening myself, if it was the right thing to move on, but thankfully, Im way to stubbern and dont tolerate that nonsense.
It's such a coincidence that I actually go by all 3 rules and have been for a while.
I'm just found out about doc from Fresh and Fit. I look forward to catching up on his streams.
Love your insightful straightforward no BS way of handing us the tools to get the job done! Thank you 🎉
4) Ask him to do things for you or give tasks but don't yell at him and tell him how you want him to do if you want it specifically.
Men want to be useful and needed and interacting cooperation just like you play game with your teammate and you both communicate that's whats build a bond with a man.
This video certainly wasn't just for women! Wow, amazing insight. You've blown my mind so many times I've lost track!
Respect goes both ways in a relationship.
Men need more respect and women need more loving in a relationship. Try to ask a couple, especially a husband and a wife. It's not symmetrically the same. A husband would thrive more with more respect from a wife, while a wife would thrive more with more love. Many women have the hardest time to respect their men because of certain ideologies that teach them to be entitled, insufferable and never does anything wrong and holds double standard in anything related to relationship. One more thing, respect has different meanings and values to men and women, especially in a relationship between a husband and a wife.
@@Cuticatie As a woman I’d die a quiet death inside if a husband loved me but didn’t respect me.
... but only one for family court.
@@Cuticatie women become disrespectful cause men show them through their actions that they don't really give a sh!t about them. You earn the respect! Right? So please stop thinking that the privilege is a man thing. Goes both ways.
@@CuticatieTo me love and respect either come together or not. Left my last relationship because the two weren't there. Stop speaking for all women.
I'm a straight female, and value this advice. It reminds me of how my late second husband and I treated each other, and the rewards we both enjoyed. I'm proud of how we both got good at respectfully and privately negotiating any differences of opinion we had. Publically, all anyone ever saw or heard was our admiration for each other. And the treatment I got from him for this was wonderful. I so hope for one more shot at using what I've learned.
Hi I am a UK male did this video make you cry some what in you thoughts? You have the love in you two that was shared, it is still real It was there, the past is still real the real always exist, don't worry about things, you still have what you had, I would be grateful to talk lots, yes, say hi if you feel you can maybe soon?
Guy here and I almost get a little more out of these episodes than the ones made for men. Like a fly on the wall with a little notepad and pen. Also makes me feel a little more sane because most women don’t accept responsibility for the way they act.
You're on point Orion but I wonder how many women will actually take this advice.
One (of the many) reasons my wife is now an ex is her extreme failure of this "Unbreakable rule". Good riddance!
So, how does a woman hold a man accountable or express needs? I never felt like I was disrespectful, yet my ex-husband was always accusing me of criticizing him, nagging him, etc. I honestly never intended that, as I just tried to express my needs. I feel like no matter how I talked to him, he viewed it as antagonistic and disrespectful...
Damn straight. If the guy is mature and respects you, he should want to know what your needs are and how he might improve on something. And vice versa. There’s no shame in expressing what needs to be done, especially with your intimate partner.
That’s why it’s also the type of guy because he can choose to see something as a criticism but he can also choose to be a reasonable person and examine the real issue without getting defensive.
Easy, check your tone, not your content.
Awesome question. I hope PH does a video on this unless he's just to say, pretend your man is your employer and you don't want to get fired.....
Is it beneficial to write a letter, opening with a huge self depricating caveat, that they observe that such and such made her feel nervous and/or unsafe.
Your a woman, you have all the tools to get ANYTHING you want from your husband. Beeching and nagging is not one of them
The conversation is about how to not disrespect your man.. not about how to express your needs. First master that. Expressing your needs is an easy thing once you remove disrespect
Oh gosh, I thought I was on point on man and women dynamics but this is super valuable. I'm gonna check what your paid content looks like right now !!!
The analysis is exceptional! Pure gold!
There were so many triggers in these videos for me. I had to literally sit in the discomfort and keep watching. So I finally figured it out. The biggest place where some women mess up, sometimes we date men we don’t respect. Or we stay with them even after they’ve lost our respect.
Is this from past experiences? say hi.
It's not just the man you want to be with, it's EVERYMAN you find value in who's not a family member.
This is so true. I, unfortunately, found out the hard way, but now I know better for the future. Thank you for the insight. 😌
You are exactly right. The message will be lost on most women over 30, but the next generation seems to have figured out at least what doesn't work. There is some hope for them.
You really nailed it with this video / rule. I may put up with a lot, but not disrespect, public or private.
One comment that is missing is that you GET disrespect because she wants out. It's her way of telling you she is looking for her next ride and you're not it. It's not about checking her and YOU keeping her in line, it's about her telling you how she really feels about your relationship and you doing the breaking up for her. Women hate breaking up the relationship because it makes her look bad. If you do it she gets all that sweet victim juice she can spread around and call you an abusive man. It's a major win for her.She gets rid of you AND she gets her victim card.
Maybe.
Ahh well said.
I disagree. Women have initiated almost every divorce or breakup I've ever heard of.
@@artawhirler They do the break up because the man isn't going to do it. Not because they haven't been signaling him that they are checked out for months or years beforehand. Often these are the guys with scarcity mindset and would rather stay in a shitty relationship than no relationship. Eventually she ends it because it's the only way out and she tires of waiting for the end she wants.
Thank you for this video. I am above avg in attractiveness, did 1 and 2, but I ran my mouth. I grew up with an abusive father and I always felt like I needed to put my men in their place, stick up for myself and not tolerate any bs. Well, I see now why I am still single; I went about this the wrong way for sure.
It makes sense. I mean if you disrespect your friends and even your family, they wouldn’t want to stick around either 🤷🏻♀️. That’s why you really have to work on yourself, be open and understanding ( *_without_* taking any crap ) , know how to express your emotions (likes and dislikes) in a mature way, and be mentally and emotionally healthy and mature. Don’t expect people to accept you for being a jerk to them. Just put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. However, always remember respect works *_both_* ways. Give respect but expect respect too. If not, be able to walk away.
This rings so true, I want criticism and selfimprovement sure, but disrespect on daily basis.. I cannot keep such people around!
What if you have broken this rule, DEEPLY regret it, apologized for it and have worked to not repeat it? What else can you do to recover from disrespect?
This is a good video request!!
I imagine you just need time at that point. If he sees you working at it it’ll be water under the bridge
It means he finds you to be a disrespectful woman.
Once you find out why he finds it in your nature, that's what you work on changing and you have to show you've - changed it.
Not that you're working on not being a disrespectful woman, but that you aren't a disrespectful woman.
You don't have to grovel, just show that you're different.
If he still doesn't respond to that, then ask yourself why you wanted a man who doesn't have forgiveness in his nature in the first place.
because it's in him then, not you.
It's over
Depends. If it was so bad that he broke it off as a consequence, then there really isn't much you can do to recover from it. But try to see it as something positive, that you've learnt something and know you'll do right with the next guy. On the other hand if you're still together but he's cold towards you, then most likely he needs you to show him through both your words and your actions that you deeply regret it and that you've changed.
Thank you for making this video Orion. As a woman I find your of content incredibly valuable and insightful. It has prompted me to take a good hard look at my patterns of behaviour towards men and beliefs about them. Keep up the amazing work ❤
I shared the first video in this series with people that would gain from it, and the second video too. I will share this also; However I would like to say two things:
1. It's easier for men to understand your communication of these facts. One of the women I shared with, a good friend of mine, didn't readily understand it; she said it sounded too technical (logical). I had to explain the video to her step by step before she caught on, and she agreed with what you have to say except being the sluttiest version of herself. That in part was cos of her religious beliefs.
2. Application of the first two of these three teachings come natural to women with the men that are the image of their value system. Very often these days, that man isn't the man that is good for them, just the man they are programmed by media and influences to embrace. This one on respect is what they all might need to learn especially.
Well done Dr. Orion. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I would love to give kudos to your thumbnails. Very artistic and tasteful ❤
True. You can criticize, with respect.
This is a key point in the video. -which will be ignored by the women in the comments who kick back without really listening to the information.
Thank you so much! I’m one of the female viewers.
This is so important.
I feel like sending this to every Ex-girlfiend I have ever had.
It's the one thing men say all the time but which women never understand: don't nag (without reason). It sounds simple and harsh, but thankfully he gives an explanation as to why you shouldnt nag.
Talking about and solving problems is one thing, nagging is just going over the problems for the sake of it. I like to think of it as an analogy. The alarm has gone off (nagging), the problem has been noted and so the alarm, while initially useful for drawing attention, does not help in solving the problem, so it is shut off to give men time to think.
Just because we are not panicking or running around does not mean we are not thinking. We dont need the alarm to be on once we are made aware of the problem. Keeping it on all the time merely makes it blend into the background and keeps us in crisis mode for everything, so when actual problems arise we are unable to focus on it. Letting your man solve the problem means having patience and trusting him. If you love your man, follow his example and quiet your animal urge to panic when you're around him.
Let us work in peace for a while and let the answer arrive before you cast your judgment. You can give critique and help in solving the problem, but when plan A is proven not to work, then you can raise the alarm again.
See how well you can concentrate and solve problems with klaxons blaring in your ear and harsh lights flashing in your eyes. Women seem to think like some cruel taskmaster that making the alarm louder and harder to turn off will make men solve the problem quicker, when all it does is make the man angry. If you are not helping then you are making life harder. Don't make the alarm into a problem, because that is one of the easier things to solve.