Lying On The Internet For Attention

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  • Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
  • Go to buyraycon.com/kurtistown for 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon.
    It's capping season, my dudes! In part 3 of this series, we take a look at a great collection of QUALITY lies told on the internet for attention. Enjoy!
    / yeahthatdefinitelyhapp...
    / thathappened
    watch part 1 & 2:
    • The Internet's Most Ob...
    • Lying for Likes & Retw...
    MY SOCIAL MEDIA:
    • / kurtisconner
    • / kurtisconner
    COME SEE MY MONTHLY SHOW IN NYC:
    • thepit-nyc.com/events/kurtis-...
    COME SEE ME IN ALBANY & SYRACUSE
    • albany.funnybone.com/Comedian/...
    • syracuse.funnybone.com/Comedia...
    MERCH:
    • shop.kurtisconner.com/
    VERY REALLY GOOD RUclips CHANNEL:
    • / @veryreallygood
    MY PODCAST:
    • open.spotify.com/show/3nGVLHp...
    • podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast...
    thanks for watching!
    comment "mr pibb is hell juice" if ur reading this

Комментарии • 20 тыс.

  • @carpedm9846
    @carpedm9846 4 года назад +5270

    "Pull the plug!"
    "She's not on life support."
    "Then put her on life support and then pull the plug!!"

    • @inaaya2738
      @inaaya2738 4 года назад +5

      The likes are at 666-

    • @lamedrawings
      @lamedrawings 4 года назад +87

      Ah yes, I too watched the video.

    • @kingayy9267
      @kingayy9267 4 года назад +24

      @Inaaya Rathur
      Why do people comment things like this?

    • @pichrachanahai6179
      @pichrachanahai6179 4 года назад +2

      Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahagahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajajjajajajahajahahahahah

    • @pichrachanahai6179
      @pichrachanahai6179 4 года назад +2

      @@sylviap837 3jjejwjwjw

  • @wilburtron1111
    @wilburtron1111 4 года назад +2806

    kurtis: **literally forgets his intro**
    also kurtis: oh yeah i need to go back to my roots

  • @heszedjim9699
    @heszedjim9699 Год назад +6748

    So my son woke me up one night, in tears. I asked him why and he said, "why do people lie on the internet for clout instead of finding a hobby that could benefit mankind?" And then everyone in the starbucks clapped and the manager got arrested.

    • @logicbuilder1204
      @logicbuilder1204 Год назад +219

      I assume the son was 1 month old.

    • @cricketandgraham8644
      @cricketandgraham8644 Год назад +116

      Nah my one day year old child woke me up in tears when I fell asleep at the cafe and umm.. and um said that and everyone clapped and congrated me..

    • @timohara7717
      @timohara7717 Год назад +7

      Bruh I said my first word at 2

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 Год назад +8

      That final sentence got me so good lol.

    • @kass_G59
      @kass_G59 Год назад +4

      So moving 🙏🏼

  • @Justmemojito
    @Justmemojito Год назад +1157

    You can recognize a lie immediately when someone says “everyone started clapping” or something similar

    • @zubetp
      @zubetp Год назад +93

      what if it ended with "and everybody booed me"

    • @negligible_reality
      @negligible_reality Год назад +43

      @@zubetp then i'd believe it 💀

    • @Stoopid420
      @Stoopid420 Год назад +45

      "and then I saved the world from an evil alien race and everybody booed me"

    • @Justmemojito
      @Justmemojito Год назад +11

      @@zubetp depends on what the reason behind the booing is

    • @lizjohnson9577
      @lizjohnson9577 Год назад +3

      Yeah no that’s when I know damn well it’s satire

  • @whyyousostinky3057
    @whyyousostinky3057 3 года назад +2112

    Yesterday I heard my grandma say:
    “yo shawty wanna hit a lick?”
    And I was like “yo hell ya”
    Then we both snorted a massive amount of cocaine and my step grandpas ashes!
    Let me tell you...that lady knows how to yodel!

  • @CaseyShontz
    @CaseyShontz 4 года назад +3282

    “I’m as nakey as the day I was born!”
    Kurtis was born with a necklace and a nose ring

    • @red_dickfigures
      @red_dickfigures 4 года назад +232

      And you weren't? Damn, that must suck

    • @nini-qu5hi
      @nini-qu5hi 4 года назад +128

      @@red_dickfigures Wait, everyone isn't born with a necklace and a nose ring?

    • @red_dickfigures
      @red_dickfigures 4 года назад +50

      @@nini-qu5hi yeah, that's what I was thinking

    • @woahtherebud01
      @woahtherebud01 4 года назад +71

      And inked

    • @mxwitcher
      @mxwitcher 4 года назад +62

      @@nini-qu5hi I wasn't, I was born with a mouth piercing and a choker, guess everyone is different

  • @uhhhhhhhidkk
    @uhhhhhhhidkk Год назад +1463

    My daughters first words were literally "For me, despair is not a goal, or a set of principles, or a lifestyle, or even an instinct... It's what defines me-” Couldn’t be happier, even if she didn’t finish the sentence. I can tell little Junko will grow up to help so many people

    • @Stoopid420
      @Stoopid420 Год назад +53

      Uh oh

    • @kelatitsfinest7730
      @kelatitsfinest7730 Год назад

      please put her down before she gets to high school

    • @TheNomad94
      @TheNomad94 Год назад +133

      And then Monokuma clapped

    • @uhhhhhhhidkk
      @uhhhhhhhidkk Год назад +69

      @@TheNomad94 yep. Monokuma burst into the room and started clapping

    • @moistyboi7128
      @moistyboi7128 Год назад +10

      Was gonna like, but you have 69 likes so I can't.

  • @AroRalseiWithADoubleSpace
    @AroRalseiWithADoubleSpace Год назад +248

    My three month old sister just asked our mom “mother, why does everybody on the internet lie about things their children say for attention?” It was so amazing because I don’t even have a sister!

  • @user-kq7wz5mh2f
    @user-kq7wz5mh2f 4 года назад +2794

    “Pull the plug!”
    “She’s not on life support”
    “Then put her on life support and pull the plug!” 😂 😂 😂

    • @tonymontes4778
      @tonymontes4778 4 года назад +33

      That one made me laugh real hard.. 😂😂😂

    • @drowsified2782
      @drowsified2782 4 года назад

      Woah, too bad this wasn't in the video and that we didn't hear this joke sooner!

  • @bri7259
    @bri7259 3 года назад +9346

    my first word was “mother my human form is limiting”

    • @npc-333
      @npc-333 3 года назад +136

      Mine too

    • @crowsoto9612
      @crowsoto9612 3 года назад +590

      aww! mine were "I crave a sacrifice to keep my physical form in this realm"

    • @BlueberryDragon13
      @BlueberryDragon13 3 года назад +149

      Mine was woo woo hoo woo. My parents were pretty concerned.

    • @ghostlierbat8150
      @ghostlierbat8150 3 года назад +57

      Mine was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    • @kyocera1618
      @kyocera1618 3 года назад +69

      Idk what mine was but my brothers was fuck- should've seen it coming that he curses to much and is racist and sexist and uses the r slur

  • @duck4738
    @duck4738 Год назад +129

    My 2 year old son was at a mcdonalds and the cashier told my son he's stupid and my son said "You made a mistake mortal, you do not know my power. I can invert your organs with my finger, I can destroy your life with moving my tiny eyes, your spine will collapse in 30 seconds if you do not apologize and give me the entire store for free.". Then everyone started clapping 😊

  • @Eclipseee_
    @Eclipseee_ Год назад +77

    My sister did “technically” not talk until she was able to say phrases and names and shit, but it’s not like she was just brain dead for three years and then suddenly acquired the knowledge to speak sentences and stuff. She just didn’t like talking

  • @therealplaguerat
    @therealplaguerat 3 года назад +7759

    Oh my god👏My 1 day old child just sang Rap God by Eminem and everybody in the hospital clapped😜👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @sincerealev
      @sincerealev 3 года назад +531

      It's true, I was the hospital

    • @Equa11ysurl
      @Equa11ysurl 3 года назад +381

      It's true, I was the hands of the people clapping
      Edit: I clicked on this comment and forgot I made this reply. Hello people.

    • @yeesmchaw5852
      @yeesmchaw5852 3 года назад +376

      It's true, I'm Eminem

    • @natasha8007
      @natasha8007 3 года назад +312

      It’s true, I was the rapping baby.

    • @describingtrashislikedescr5510
      @describingtrashislikedescr5510 3 года назад +263

      It's true, I was the hospital bed

  • @dizzy4198
    @dizzy4198 3 года назад +4905

    when i was almost one my mom got mad at me for throwing away her sweets. then i said "my dearest mother, those sweets are not healthy." Those were my first words. She started crying tears of joy and then everybody from our apartment building came in and clapped. Later, my mom died from natural causes and i was adopted by obama.

    • @JustNuggie
      @JustNuggie 3 года назад +281

      I'm sorry for your loss😥😢😰😨😱😓😥😢😨😴😴😪😢😢😰😓😪😰😵😰😮😵😳😯😑😨😨😭😓😓😪😢😵😓🤤😨😰😵😵😵😰😱😨😮😧😧😫😩☹️😣😖😔😔😒😒😔😟😟😢😢😰😰😰😲😐😶😯😳😢😓😞😞😞😞😔😖😣😣🙁😒😔😔😟😞😒😴😫😑😑🤧🤧🤧🤧🤔😭😓😪😨😰😱😰😴😰😨😮😵😵😲😲

    • @hamianagrande
      @hamianagrande 3 года назад +134

      😔😟😕🙁☹️🥺😩😫😖😣😢😭😤😠😡🥶🥵😳🤯😱🤬😨😰😥😥😓😭😤😠🙁🥺☹️😩🙁😫😕😖😟😣😔😢😟🙁😫🙁😩☹️😩😫☹️😖😕😖😟😣😟😖😫😫🙁😩🙁😩🙁🥺🥺ok

    • @pnjodaro
      @pnjodaro 3 года назад +28

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @SM-qv2om
      @SM-qv2om 3 года назад +286

      I went to a Michelle Obama concert once. She pulled me onto the stage and we sang classic 80s rock songs together. Then she looked at me and said, "keep the change, luv" in a posh British accent. I fainted and fell and then Gwen Stefani caught me and said, "I bet the oranges are burnt, huh?" I fainted and then I fainted. True story.

    • @hamianagrande
      @hamianagrande 3 года назад +106

      @@SM-qv2om and then everybody clapped

  • @ChaosTheSalamander
    @ChaosTheSalamander 9 месяцев назад +50

    I love how, like, it could have been super easily explained that like, "i honestly just never put it together," or, "I'm not really familiar with how Zip Codes work" could have worked. I'm 23 and I barely know my own home address...but then they jump the shark and go the amnesia route. It's perfect

  • @questionableadviser
    @questionableadviser Год назад +92

    Today my paralysed deaf blind mute autistic premature 2 day old niece said her first word today (a miracle blessing from God). She said “phone bad book good” and started handing pancakes to homeless people on the floor after a hurricane while telling them to get jobs like the legless man who was using a book as an umbrella. Such an inspiring story ❤️ ❤️

    • @romanceisdeadandsoismysoul
      @romanceisdeadandsoismysoul 9 месяцев назад +12

      I was the book and I can confirm the generosity your son showed, She was so kind. Truly a good man.

    • @auramint
      @auramint 7 месяцев назад +11

      I was the autism. I can confirm

    • @BoxOfToasters
      @BoxOfToasters 2 месяца назад +4

      I was the deafness. I can confirm.

    • @californium-2526
      @californium-2526 9 дней назад +1

      I can confirm about the inspiration that this story gives; I was the pancakes.

  • @bayklingender1269
    @bayklingender1269 4 года назад +2434

    'I'm as naked as the day I was born' Kurtis was born with a chain and a nose piercing confirmed

  • @oliviamgreenwood
    @oliviamgreenwood 3 года назад +2248

    My brothers first words were: *"Mother I would greatly appreciate if you would buy a baked good with lots of carbohydrates shaped as a circle please."*

  • @rosegoldpineapple936
    @rosegoldpineapple936 Год назад +60

    One time my mom was pregnant with me and the hospital gave her epidural, so she was a little loopy. Well she popped the baby out and when she was signing the documents as far as what name would be, I yelled and told her “Think of the consequences before you write anything down lady.”

    • @bogwife7942
      @bogwife7942 8 месяцев назад

      fucked up that she went ahead and named you rosegoldpineapple936 anyway

    • @bandaidd_
      @bandaidd_ 7 месяцев назад

      That is true, I was the epidural

    • @user-rw4og7tg1e
      @user-rw4og7tg1e 7 месяцев назад +1

      real i was the consequences

    • @greyyy.tttmmmccc
      @greyyy.tttmmmccc Месяц назад

      this is real i was the documents

  • @HotCafeMocha
    @HotCafeMocha Год назад +20

    Wait until you watch "the disastrous life of Saiki kusuo", he was teleporting to shop groceries when 1 year old. In fact, he started talking when he was 1 month old.
    Its his parents writing these posts.

    • @fallaciouslandlord
      @fallaciouslandlord Год назад +7

      “my son started walking on the ceiling when he was a baby”

  • @robertlopez2052
    @robertlopez2052 4 года назад +4555

    “There are no security cameras in schools”
    *Cries in American*

    • @zombieboyx165
      @zombieboyx165 4 года назад +51

      STARKID

    • @mars5881
      @mars5881 4 года назад +13

      Chandler Animated YES

    • @ef4253
      @ef4253 4 года назад +80

      I got confused for a sec cuz I was like ...uh yeah there are

    • @jordanmorrison4060
      @jordanmorrison4060 4 года назад +190

      @@ef4253 Not in the actual classroom. Just the halls. They can't put any in the classrooms.

    • @vermillion6805
      @vermillion6805 4 года назад +70

      Atomic Duck556 they put them in classrooms in my school

  • @lukewarmwater6338
    @lukewarmwater6338 4 года назад +9103

    “I think I’d be murdered if I didn’t do an extra greeting.” You got that right #kurtisconnerisoverparty

    • @mxlkbread7433
      @mxlkbread7433 4 года назад +175

      Lukewarm Water Me first reply, me one year old and go to highschool and I can do algebra 1 I work for my mommy and me know how count money and I have credit card

    • @shea8977
      @shea8977 4 года назад +89

      @@mxlkbread7433 what the hell

    • @mxlkbread7433
      @mxlkbread7433 4 года назад +106

      vashta me no curse, that bad

    • @CuddlePhantom
      @CuddlePhantom 4 года назад +3

      Haha

    • @CuddlePhantom
      @CuddlePhantom 4 года назад +21

      @@mxlkbread7433 are you okay?

  • @MegaSuper11
    @MegaSuper11 Год назад +59

    I 100% believe the baby praying at the sodas at 16:22, kids that age with really christian parents do some weird religious shit all the time because the parents always cheer them on, plus the prayer sounded very much like those of some of the kids I used to babysit.
    In my mom's church there was a 4 or 5 year old that became known as being blessed with healing energy by god because he mimicked the mannerisms the pastor had for healing prayers on his own. Kids are very observant and love to mimick behaviour.

  • @batsontoast
    @batsontoast Год назад +77

    When my brother was -4 he came up to me crying, and when I asked him what was wrong he said that I'm on my phone too much. And then he turned into a whale and my dog ate him. I fed my phone to the dog and then he came back alive and everyone clapped. So the lesson is don't be on your phone too much also feed it to your dog.

  • @starryvampyre
    @starryvampyre 4 года назад +3491

    No one:
    Kurtis when he makes a bad joke:😎🤟🔥😏

    • @beans7448
      @beans7448 3 года назад +188

      hey man I think you spelled "great" wrong

    • @madeline3832
      @madeline3832 3 года назад +40

      *great joke

    • @acab9120
      @acab9120 3 года назад +46

      That’s a weird way to say “the rebirth of comedy”

    • @socialnorm3295
      @socialnorm3295 3 года назад +3

      Smiling Lapis no he doesnt light his house

    • @hiracoverband
      @hiracoverband 3 года назад +4

      huh thats the weirdest way ive seen someone spelt glorious

  • @be_kind_to_bees8676
    @be_kind_to_bees8676 4 года назад +2279

    Mom:he’s saying his first word
    Baby:m-m-mitochondria is the power house of the cell

    • @wordyweirdo8581
      @wordyweirdo8581 4 года назад +23

      This made my morning. Thank you.

    • @TP-tg8cc
      @TP-tg8cc 4 года назад +14

      Gosh dang it

    • @sixteenbells
      @sixteenbells 4 года назад +12

      And everybody clapped

    • @waylonwaylon5513
      @waylonwaylon5513 4 года назад +3

      The mighty nugget Never lies but you never lie!

    • @sadieb27
      @sadieb27 4 года назад +2

      do people actually find this funny

  • @kezi7728
    @kezi7728 Год назад +44

    15:15 The first story (the yes I can one) honestly could be true. There are stories of kids who don’t talk until they’re older. Sometimes it’s because their parents fight a lot or sometimes because they just aren’t ready to talk. But they can talk in full sentences because they listen to others talking

    • @peterberning
      @peterberning Год назад +7

      but talking is more than listening and understand words. you still have to practice moving your mouth, tongue, throat, vocal chords, etc. like it's still a thing you have to practice. so sure they might say mutilple words in one "sentence" but it will be incoherent and rather garbled because they don't have the skills yet to properly control the sounds.

  • @redtailarts101
    @redtailarts101 Год назад +45

    I would have believed the "I'll go to work for you" one if it was said by a 5 year old but a 1 year old?

  • @rexflamingo1037
    @rexflamingo1037 3 года назад +5008

    I texted Kurtis Conner and he texted me back and said I'm *his hero*

    • @ferdavila4560
      @ferdavila4560 3 года назад +432

      I FORGOT THAT THE VIDEO WAS ABOUT LYING ON THE INTERNET FOR A SEC AND THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL, BYE- 💀💀💀💀

    • @chaotickreg7024
      @chaotickreg7024 3 года назад +88

      *claps*

    • @carodame9419
      @carodame9419 3 года назад +46

      Wow this deserves an A pls class stand all up and clap

    • @parisr.2894
      @parisr.2894 3 года назад +52

      And the comment section clapped

    • @SR-fq2jz
      @SR-fq2jz 3 года назад +19

      Liar! No way that nobody clapped!

  • @justinbellman
    @justinbellman 4 года назад +2306

    My baby's first words were "What's up, how's it goin?"
    And his second words were "What's up, how's it goin?"
    Then everyone in Kurtistown clapped

    • @michaelkeating9624
      @michaelkeating9624 4 года назад +42

      What a beautiful true story that definitely really happened 😂😂😂

    • @megamozaik
      @megamozaik 4 года назад +54

      I hope you subscribed to your baby for those second words.

    • @justinbellman
      @justinbellman 4 года назад +24

      @@megamozaik How do you think I got him to say them in the first place

    • @maddyporter36
      @maddyporter36 4 года назад +13

      That really happened, I was the baby's diaper..

    • @skyecristina5572
      @skyecristina5572 4 года назад +18

      All the folks* in Kurtistown clapped

  • @empiregaming1343
    @empiregaming1343 Год назад +24

    My 8 month old daughter watched this video and looked me Dea in the eyes and said "babf bawn vook cnoo" 😭😭😭I'm so proud

  • @notanemovampire
    @notanemovampire Год назад +18

    Kurtis seems like the type of person to wash his hair with a bar of soap and have it still look awesome

  • @DarkShadic9632
    @DarkShadic9632 3 года назад +6244

    I’m 5 years old and my 57 year old son just said his first words, he said, “Minecraft good Fortnite bad”! I can’t believe it, he’s only 57

    • @smrithir.265
      @smrithir.265 3 года назад +218

      My headaches just reading that lol

    • @audreyxx8311
      @audreyxx8311 3 года назад +15

      lmfao

    • @Akuma-qv5zi
      @Akuma-qv5zi 3 года назад +12

      Well it it was switched saying I'm 57 and my son is 5 that would make a lot more sense so this one isnt so bad

    • @arfalowarfalow2147
      @arfalowarfalow2147 3 года назад +200

      OMG I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. As a fellow 5 year old parent, I know how hard it can be to raise your middle-aged children. It's such a hastle! Congratulations!

    • @foxtech543
      @foxtech543 3 года назад +13

      @@Akuma-qv5zi still wouldn't make sense even if the ages were switched, since women are unable to birth children after 50-51 or sometimes in their 40's.

  • @twiggyzaza
    @twiggyzaza 4 года назад +1522

    When Kurtis is so disoriented after tour that he almost forgets the extra greeting

  • @beautybarheavy
    @beautybarheavy Год назад +17

    kurtis missing the satire on the second one and doing a play by play rant was the funniest thing ever 😭🫶🏽

  • @theresivy
    @theresivy Год назад +21

    9:35 that my wife reference joke didnt age well lol

    • @Verze4826
      @Verze4826 Месяц назад +1

      why its from the movie borat

  • @jkhasjfkdbj4590
    @jkhasjfkdbj4590 4 года назад +5064

    when your baby's first sentence is the declaration of independence

    • @elisemark6393
      @elisemark6393 4 года назад +4

      Lmao

    • @thunderthais
      @thunderthais 4 года назад +17

      I do declare -Michael Scott -baby

    • @grocket9520
      @grocket9520 4 года назад +18

      Hate when that happens

    • @fynntasticmovienight
      @fynntasticmovienight 4 года назад +2

      What a weird sentence to read while high

    • @mzee5226
      @mzee5226 4 года назад +3

      The Declaration of Independence is not a sentence

  • @ariannalybaek27
    @ariannalybaek27 4 года назад +1706

    “Schools don’t have security cameras”
    *laughs in American*

    • @lilfroggie4520
      @lilfroggie4520 4 года назад +66

      arianna lybaek we have cameras in our Canadian schools too we just don’t have them in classrooms 🤷🏻‍♀️ (and lowkey never heard of cameras in classes either)

    • @nbdyspcal
      @nbdyspcal 4 года назад +43

      Lil Froggie we started getting cameras everywhere (excluding bathroom stalls and locker rooms) after the school shootings that started to happen:

    • @emily-cb5nt
      @emily-cb5nt 4 года назад +13

      Everyones saying that I live in America and there's no security cameras in the classrooms at my school my school is really trashy tho so maybe that's why?

    • @nateryans6758
      @nateryans6758 4 года назад +18

      n0b0dy sp3c1al Security cameras have been installed in bathrooms for decades- but only in school’s with mostly students of color and gang activity, which is why it’s not common knowledge. It’s really awful actually.

    • @fredisgay3660
      @fredisgay3660 4 года назад +1

      I remember when my apparently best public school put in cameras....

  • @trilltx214
    @trilltx214 2 месяца назад +3

    I live for this man’s glow up 🥲. Chill ik he just grew out his hair and mustache 😂 but still.

  • @babeofmoss
    @babeofmoss 6 месяцев назад +7

    This still slaps 4 years later. Thank you Kurt 🙏

  • @Kyte_VaNa
    @Kyte_VaNa 4 года назад +13586

    When Kurtis forgot the folks and the extra greeting: :(
    When Editing Kurtis remembered: :)

    • @Yutaaaaaa
      @Yutaaaaaa 4 года назад +142

      That extra greeting makes me happy :’)

    • @cadengraf791
      @cadengraf791 4 года назад +98

      when Kurtis puts glasses on : :)
      aha get it like four eyes cause glasses

    • @oneshotonehit6731
      @oneshotonehit6731 4 года назад +9

      relief, am I right)

    • @marilia0607
      @marilia0607 4 года назад +36

      I can go without the "folks 👏", but not without my extra greeting! 🥺

    • @abuafreed6308
      @abuafreed6308 4 года назад +5

      Kyte VaNa 4 eyes lol

  • @zora1138
    @zora1138 3 года назад +30405

    My 1 year old daughter just said her first words! She rapped the entire Hamilton musical! And she did the choreography! And the entire country started clapping! Then some government agents came and took her away for testing or something. Hopefully they'll give her back at some point.

    • @swag6023
      @swag6023 3 года назад +758

      Hamilton LMAO

    • @jacksibjo4944
      @jacksibjo4944 3 года назад +492

      Best one yet

    • @froggycheckers
      @froggycheckers 3 года назад +843

      It's true, I was there.
      Btw love your profile picture, happy Pride!

    • @jackkoscak8501
      @jackkoscak8501 3 года назад +319

      Lmfao dude holy shit
      Btw I love that pfp. Happy pride month!!

    • @froggycheckers
      @froggycheckers 3 года назад +234

      @@jackkoscak8501 Happy Pride!! 🌈🌈

  • @wynsik
    @wynsik Год назад +4

    My child’s first word was the entirety of “Godzilla” by Eminem.

  • @button9584
    @button9584 4 года назад +5563

    Yesterday my little son told me in the middle of the night, “mother, why do people tell lies? Do they want approval from other people? Do they want to make laugh? Why? People should only lie with wholesome intentions.” My son was 3 days old

    • @wxyz459
      @wxyz459 3 года назад +277

      My baby son is the fourth reincarnation of Kierkegaard 💁🏾‍♀️ do better

    • @button9584
      @button9584 3 года назад +56

      A A Aw shoot!! Man your son sounds Sick!! :0

    • @francescalewis3
      @francescalewis3 3 года назад +58

      seems legit

    • @daizywhitehead1688
      @daizywhitehead1688 3 года назад +91

      Oh that’s cute! I remember when my son said the exact same thing but with Gandhi quotes at only 78 minutes soooo.....

    • @button9584
      @button9584 3 года назад +17

      Daizy Xoxo what?!?! Ok I think you’ve got us beat lol

  • @sewerrat2683
    @sewerrat2683 4 года назад +4667

    One time I was singing in the bathroom in my school. I thought that I was alone but there was a bully in the stall next to the mirror who got on top of it and recorded me singing and post it on (insert social media) everybody in the school saw it and when they saw be the next day they started clapping and praising me saying how talented I was. Then Obama came over and offered me to sing at the white House.
    This took place in 2014
    Now, I'm doja cat

  • @EstherAller
    @EstherAller 3 месяца назад +2

    There are two types of learning to speak (but not like literal first words necessarily): kids who want to get the pronunication right and say single words, and those who get whole sentences out (with the caviat that probably only the parents understand them)

  • @bruise667
    @bruise667 2 месяца назад +2

    4 years ago and still slaps

  • @MicMcBallin
    @MicMcBallin 4 года назад +2856

    My babies first word was actually “The Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”

    • @rowan2086
      @rowan2086 4 года назад +65

      Beast Burchett lol this is unrelated but once at the end of my school year we had to do a reflection of what we learned. i just answered “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” no cap

    • @Jackson_the_king66
      @Jackson_the_king66 4 года назад +27

      Isn’t that everyone’s

    • @princeleo1041
      @princeleo1041 4 года назад +32

      I said every word in the dictionary when I was 4

    • @sorellfart2700
      @sorellfart2700 4 года назад +9

      this was by far the best comment i’ve ever seen

    • @izzy350
      @izzy350 4 года назад +6

      I-

  • @jdtoaster9498
    @jdtoaster9498 4 года назад +16720

    I’m 14 years old and my 16 year old daughter just said her first words after I gave her her first beer and she said “The government is corrupt” she’s only 5

    • @hawkeyepierce8886
      @hawkeyepierce8886 3 года назад +1554

      So wise

    • @izzieisdizzy1376
      @izzieisdizzy1376 3 года назад +1996

      this story is touching.

    • @lixonzito2481
      @lixonzito2481 3 года назад +1185

      that kid grew up to be Kurtis Conner

    • @eefsart
      @eefsart 3 года назад +929

      Are you- 🤢🤢 are you a-🤢🤢🤢 I cant even say it.. 🤢 are you assuming your child’s gender 🤢🤢🤢

    • @jdtoaster9498
      @jdtoaster9498 3 года назад +936

      Freckle Feather Why are you assuming I have a child

  • @greyyy.tttmmmccc
    @greyyy.tttmmmccc Месяц назад +2

    once my plushies came to life and i hugged them all day. one of them came up to me and asked, "mother may I please consume a pop tart for sustenance?" and i said "nooo thats unhealthy" then they had a violent seizure and an eagle came into my room carrying a kangaroo. the kangaroo started singing Rap God by Eminem. it was 1482 and the industrial revolution was happening in my closet.

  • @quas3r__
    @quas3r__ Год назад +4

    that kid praying at the pibb cross really took "and i pray to my fountain of slush" to a whole new level

  • @mollyrueckel
    @mollyrueckel 4 года назад +13417

    well *ACTUALLY* my kids first words were “hey what’s up you guys, if you’re new to my channel, what’s up how’s it going?, and if you’re coming back what’s up? how’s it going? it’s very good to see you again.”

    • @melonball22
      @melonball22 4 года назад +345

      @Molly Renee
      mom?

    • @hayoung6227
      @hayoung6227 4 года назад +548

      And everyone started clapping

    • @Zazabazaa
      @Zazabazaa 4 года назад +134

      In order huh? Impressive

    • @cance.dressing
      @cance.dressing 4 года назад +247

      "...See what happened happens when you subscribe to my channel...."

    • @capenkongolo2001
      @capenkongolo2001 4 года назад +155

      @@cance.dressing you get an extra greeting at the begining of every video.So subscribe to my channel...F O R A N E X T R A G R E E T I N G. F O L K S *CLAP*

  • @maggiew5078
    @maggiew5078 4 года назад +1966

    when my kid was a month old she recited the entire Bill Of Rights and the Constitution, and then obama showed up and awarded her the noble peace prize. kids are the greatest haha.

  • @Gossamaggs
    @Gossamaggs 4 месяца назад +1

    It drives me crazy to see these kinds of lies because most of them I can think of a way to tell basically the same story and have it more be way more convincing. These people lie and they aren't even GOOD at it

  • @trenchgungaming3105
    @trenchgungaming3105 2 месяца назад +2

    my first kid, as soon as he came out the womb, said the abcs backward, did a quadruple backflip, managed to figure out the end of pi, and won 5682101184389187565187465938 emmy's, then he revived JFK

  • @invalidpersn4496
    @invalidpersn4496 3 года назад +2574

    “Put her on life support and pull the plug”
    I’m using this as a threat

  • @melissabelissa
    @melissabelissa 4 года назад +4238

    the eye bit made me cry so hard that a whole bus drove past and clapped

    • @melaniebaez6310
      @melaniebaez6310 4 года назад +14

      JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA LPM

    • @mtak160
      @mtak160 4 года назад +75

      Dude that’s crazy the exact same thing happened to me

    • @wdse24
      @wdse24 4 года назад +4

      Are you lying too now?

    • @thegoods7011
      @thegoods7011 4 года назад +21

      @@wdse24 r/wooosh?

    • @wdse24
      @wdse24 4 года назад +24

      @@thegoods7011 double wooosh i was joking too

  • @sophiadiaz8967
    @sophiadiaz8967 7 месяцев назад +3

    I love how some people think nobody will suspect a thing

  • @koolkat9139
    @koolkat9139 Год назад +19

    i woke up from my deep sleep just to hear my 100 year old speak his first words!!!!! "mother i find it dehumanizing to feed these strange white fluids we call "breast milk" into children's mouths. This is very disturbing to me and i would appreciate if I could feed myself and be independent. i believe that this would benefit my perseverance and prepare me for my near future as a independent man. I appreciate you taking the time to listen to this speech and I do hope you consider this proposal. " he's only 7 seconds old!!!🥺🥺🥺

  • @Ana-sh5ps
    @Ana-sh5ps 4 года назад +4487

    My baby’s first words were:
    The fitness gram pacer test is a multi stage aerobic capacity test...

    • @Smartfellafartsmella
      @Smartfellafartsmella 4 года назад +11

      Jackspedicey????

    • @Ana-sh5ps
      @Ana-sh5ps 4 года назад +12

      @@louise4815 lmao

    • @apathysatragedy3114
      @apathysatragedy3114 4 года назад +48

      I actually liked PE, but even I agree the pacer test SUCKS BALLS

    • @mcr5truther
      @mcr5truther 4 года назад +26

      Emily Jeska I still have to take the pacer test.
      One of my friends got the record, but she CHEATED! We all saw it.

    • @scrambledeggs1677
      @scrambledeggs1677 4 года назад +20

      throw the whole baby away

  • @iinamorata
    @iinamorata 3 года назад +8052

    My first words as a baby were "comrade, let's abolish the government."

    • @razzledazzledorito2588
      @razzledazzledorito2588 3 года назад +81

      :O mine too

    • @SM-qv2om
      @SM-qv2om 3 года назад +249

      my first words were:
      Союз нерушимый республик свободных
      Сплотила навеки Великая Русь.
      Да здравствует созданный волей народов
      Единый, могучий Советский Союз!
      Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
      Дружбы, народов надежный оплот!
      Знамя советское, знамя народное
      Пусть от победы, к победе ведет!
      Сквозь грозы сияло нам солнце свободы,
      И Ленин великий нам путь озарил.
      Нас вырастил Сталин - на верность народу
      На труд и на подвиги нас вдохновил.
      Славься, Отечество чаше свободное,
      Счастья народов надежный оплот!
      Знамя советское, знамя народное
      Пусть от победы к победе ведет!
      Skvoz grozy siialo nam solntse svobody,
      I Lenin velikij nam put ozaril.
      Nas vyrastil Stalin - na vernost narodu
      Na trud i na podvigi nas vdokhnovil.
      Slavsia, Otechestvo chashe svobodnoe,
      Schastia narodov nadezhnyj oplot!
      Znamia sovetskoe, znamia narodnoe
      Pust ot pobedy k pobede vedet!
      Мы армию нашу растили в сраженьях,
      Захватчиков подлых с дороги сметем!
      Мы в битвах решаем судьбу поколений,
      Мы к славе Отчизну свою поведем!
      Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
      Славы народов надежный оплот!
      Знамя советское, знамя народное
      Пусть от победы к победе ведет

    • @XX_CUTECAT_XX
      @XX_CUTECAT_XX 3 года назад +87

      My first words were: "hey man I'm gunna tear your eyes out!"

    • @mrfrogkingg
      @mrfrogkingg 3 года назад +122

      Mine were : "I'm WAY too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now." And then everyone in Singapore came to my house and screamed as 456 Alexas played Africa by Toto.

    • @susanthefish8940
      @susanthefish8940 3 года назад +49

      Mine was, "Assemble dear comrades, we have to take over." Yeah, I am reborn as Karl Marx.

  • @horrorchick793
    @horrorchick793 Год назад +1

    My son just said "Mama" and "Mee-yewk", as in "Mother! Get me some milk, now!!" I thought it was very appropriate and cute as hell. LOL

  • @Jeffrey_LOL-vi9wy
    @Jeffrey_LOL-vi9wy 25 дней назад

    When I was -1 I told my mom “mother, Speech is a human vocal communication using language. Each language uses phonetic combinations of vowel and consonant sounds that form the sound of its words (that is, all English words sound different from all French words, even if they are the same word, e.g., "role" or "hotel"), and using those words in their semantic character as words in the lexicon of a language according to the syntactic constraints that govern lexical words' function in a sentence. In speaking, speakers perform many different intentional speech acts, e.g., informing, declaring, asking, persuading, directing, and can use enunciation, intonation, degrees of loudness, tempo, and other non-representational or paralinguistic aspects of vocalization to convey meaning. In their speech, speakers also unintentionally communicate many aspects of their social position such as sex, age, place of origin (through accent), physical states (alertness and sleepiness, vigor or weakness, health or illness), psychological states (emotions or moods), physico-psychological states (sobriety or drunkenness, normal consciousness and trance states), education or experience, and the like.“
    Then the people on the plane flying towards our building started clapping

  • @marissawilder4587
    @marissawilder4587 4 года назад +2273

    "oh my God, pull the plug"
    "Wh... She's not even on life support, she-"
    "WELL THEN PUT HER ON LIFE SUPPORT AND PULL THE PLUG"

    • @Gabby-kb9vv
      @Gabby-kb9vv 4 года назад +10

      I lost it at this point 😂😂😂

    • @delraveravioli5264
      @delraveravioli5264 4 года назад +10

      Whaaattt, we watched the same video, no way

    • @marissawilder4587
      @marissawilder4587 4 года назад +3

      @@delraveravioli5264 I'm just saying that this part was funny.. lol

  • @dioxidecarbon2631
    @dioxidecarbon2631 3 года назад +2422

    Me first words were "
    According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. "

  • @veronica_editig3698
    @veronica_editig3698 2 месяца назад +2

    My puppy just told me “how do we feel love? Are emotions real? We all exist for a reason? Right?” And then started to rap the entirety of every will wood song, my puppy is one day old.

  • @AzaelRulz
    @AzaelRulz 7 месяцев назад +1

    I HATE those social media accounts that literally survive off of using a filter, but what i hate even more is the ones that do that, but defend the filter and try to prove its not a filter but that they have some sort of abnormality even though it's obviously a filter.

  • @ambored24
    @ambored24 3 года назад +5786

    "Pull the plug!" "Shes not even on life support. There is no plug to pull." "Then put her on life support and pull the plug."
    One of my favorite lines, probably ever

    • @crypticshadows
      @crypticshadows 2 года назад +12

      Ikr

    • @LunaAclipse
      @LunaAclipse 2 года назад +45

      I’m 200% stealing that joke tho 😂

    • @ana7icia
      @ana7icia 2 года назад +4

      LOL

    • @Jabberwoot
      @Jabberwoot 2 года назад +20

      One of my favorite insults I've ever heard was "you look like if you took ugly Betty and multiplied her by holy shit"

  • @scornonthecob5375
    @scornonthecob5375 4 года назад +5257

    You know, Kurtis is so generous with his extra greetings. But do we, residents of Kurtistown, ever reciprocate our mayor’s kindness? No.
    So, Kurtis...
    What’s up? How are you? I hope you’re doing well, dude.

    • @arsonleblanc2005
      @arsonleblanc2005 4 года назад +54

      I was the 69th like and I'm happy

    • @nunbun4084
      @nunbun4084 4 года назад +12

      :)

    • @ariv1813
      @ariv1813 4 года назад +14

      @@arsonleblanc2005 wtf i liked this and it said 190 and them i opened the replies and it said 227 what

    • @cool-zd3ev
      @cool-zd3ev 4 года назад +46

      Ellie Muskens y’all my citizens woke me up out of my sleep crying and said ‘kurtis ik you tired of giving extra greetings trying to make it better for me and my fellow citizens. We will greet you today’ how are YOU doing kurtis

    • @CapuchinoProduccions
      @CapuchinoProduccions 4 года назад +6

      666, delightfully devilish Seymour.

  • @Mossymoss69
    @Mossymoss69 2 месяца назад +2

    This one time I was at Starbucks and I saw a man getting bully for having nose ring. I walked over and say “hey! Some people have other fashion styles then your! Donut bully!” The bully run away and cry. I looked at the nose ring man…. IT WAS KURTIS??? 😨 and then everyone in the Starbucks clapped 😁

  • @cellytron
    @cellytron Год назад +18

    Thank you for your use of the proper name for the stuff that kid was praying to. It’s pop. Thank you.

  • @RockUnicornCorn
    @RockUnicornCorn 3 года назад +2523

    5:46 whenever Kurtis says "fishy" all I hear in my head is "fishy fishy fishy makin' it stinkeyy"

    • @anureet123
      @anureet123 3 года назад +61

      I was looking for a comment about this 😂😂😂

    • @abbysykes6673
      @abbysykes6673 3 года назад +49

      You're my hero

    • @frogreadingabook
      @frogreadingabook 3 года назад +42

      god i can hear him pressing the button for this on the soundboard now haha

    • @pssd-ff-dth-grps-fn8797
      @pssd-ff-dth-grps-fn8797 3 года назад +49

      Oop fish in the mouth

    • @RockUnicornCorn
      @RockUnicornCorn 3 года назад +4

      @@frogreadingabook I love your name

  • @urlocalghostwithanxiety6279
    @urlocalghostwithanxiety6279 4 года назад +2069

    “Put her on life support and pull the plug!”
    - kurtis conner 2019

  • @millicentgarciameiring9713
    @millicentgarciameiring9713 10 месяцев назад +4

    Not talking can be a sign of autism. My sister is an autistic perfectionist and she did this with her first words (I don’t remember what they were). She also wouldn’t walk until she could run. And she was much older than other kids were when they started talking, I think like 3

  • @noriakikakyoinakamilfhunte3540
    @noriakikakyoinakamilfhunte3540 4 года назад +2800

    Haha my cat's first words were "Sister, i require §ū§țāňåñčə," so cute!

    • @napalmeris
      @napalmeris 3 года назад +1

      @@iogdavhd4icafhvnonsense540 Dude it's a joke.

    • @napalmeris
      @napalmeris 3 года назад

      @@iogdavhd4icafhvnonsense540 😑

    • @plankton1547
      @plankton1547 3 года назад +56

      Dam my cats first word was woof, you have a way cooler cat

    • @hufflepuffhorcrux3269
      @hufflepuffhorcrux3269 3 года назад +42

      Have you tried putting your cat in rice

    • @alixthegod7398
      @alixthegod7398 3 года назад +27

      The first words of my cat were “FOOD CONSUMPTION T I M E”, I’m so happy for you 🥰😄

  • @eddieee2
    @eddieee2 4 года назад +27455

    me: *wakes up from surgery*
    me: where's kurtis?
    doctor: who do you think gave you the extra greeting?
    me: :,(

    • @peachpit4461
      @peachpit4461 4 года назад +539

      Eddieee this sent me omfg

    • @katierundle9469
      @katierundle9469 4 года назад +773

      who do u fink gave u the teef

    • @straybeans143
      @straybeans143 4 года назад +163

      Best comment I've seen in a long time 😅

    • @liv6250
      @liv6250 4 года назад +144

      Number one comment of all time, this needs to be pinned

    • @EvelynCrawfordURL
      @EvelynCrawfordURL 4 года назад +44

      This is everything to me

  • @WhyK513
    @WhyK513 8 месяцев назад +1

    My teacher shoved a camera down into my kidney and said “Goo Goo Gaga” and everyone laughed. #Life.😂

  • @LexNonARegeEstViolanda
    @LexNonARegeEstViolanda Год назад +6

    To be fair, I kinda believe that a baby can speak a sentence (or multiple words) as their "first words," but maybe not a long sentence.
    My baby sister was like that. She learned to speak a bit late in life. Didn't even attempt to speak (like babies saying gibberish). But she was able to suddenly say "sippy cup sippy cup" which was perfectly intelligible. When we all thought she would be unable to speak for life. Guess she was a late bloomer, or perhaps that kid was practicing in secret, LOL!

  • @LeafELoxx
    @LeafELoxx 4 года назад +1573

    So basicly my wife just gave birth to our hour old child and in the hospital he recited the entire book of the art of war and a bus behind us clapped like my hour year old knows this

  • @teeveeee
    @teeveeee 3 года назад +4086

    Today my 1 year old finally spoke, his words were "We live in a society-"

  • @naisasarmento1165
    @naisasarmento1165 20 дней назад

    "pull the plug" I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT, I LAUGHED SO HARD RKAJRKAJDKSJ

  • @graciehatton2828
    @graciehatton2828 2 месяца назад +2

    Some schools do have cameras and security guards. I went to a high school in Ohio that had so many students and a lot of "bad kids" so there were multiple security guards per floor. Was kinda crazy... Students would straight up get arrested and taken out during school.

    • @Leah-up8pm
      @Leah-up8pm 2 месяца назад +1

      We have a little camera control room too. We have wavy hallways for safety too but it's so frustrating for students w certain disabilities

  • @OrchidJaddles
    @OrchidJaddles 3 года назад +9757

    Im 12 and my 14 year old son said his first words. They were "the cure for cancer is..." He didn't get to finish bc he died. He turns 15 this month. Ima get him a motorcycle.

    • @Equa11ysurl
      @Equa11ysurl 3 года назад +1213

      It’s true, I was the motorcycle.

    • @blitzyblook3315
      @blitzyblook3315 3 года назад +704

      its true i am the son

    • @ericaploof998
      @ericaploof998 3 года назад +761

      It's true I was the cure for cancer

    • @thisurldoesnotexist
      @thisurldoesnotexist 3 года назад +216

      Did he die in a motorcycle accident

    • @aeyakieduenas1331
      @aeyakieduenas1331 3 года назад +384

      It's true, I am cancer
      (I just realized this was a pun because my sign is cancer)

  • @Gemdancer101
    @Gemdancer101 4 года назад +1471

    "I need to go back to my roots" he says whilst forgetting to do his introduction 😂

    • @august1224
      @august1224 4 года назад +8

      Graci
      I want to like but you’re at 420 so I can’t

    • @questions177
      @questions177 Год назад

      Whilst😂

  • @Ranchstylebeans
    @Ranchstylebeans Год назад +2

    My pet pig actually started singing opera and everyone was clapping and gasping

  • @admin-ji2pu
    @admin-ji2pu 2 месяца назад +3

    11:50 It is 3 in the morning. You cannot be doing this to me

  • @cloverdeityhearted8729
    @cloverdeityhearted8729 4 года назад +4788

    nobody:
    kurtis in the hospital bed:
    👁 👁
    👄

  • @finalhazard883
    @finalhazard883 3 года назад +3062

    I still can't believe how hilarious this dude is "Pull the plug" "She isn't on life support, there's no plug to pull" "Well put her on life support and then pull the plug"

    • @jonathansoelle266
      @jonathansoelle266 3 года назад +36

      I saw the joke coming but the delivery was fucking amazing 🤣

  • @santiastronomo
    @santiastronomo Год назад +6

    ¨Theres no way that a baby´s first word was a sentence¨
    Technically, yes

  • @SheepUndefined
    @SheepUndefined Год назад +3

    "Oh no, it'll take me exactly 20 minutes to get there, and I only have twenty minutes left!"
    Goddamn, this dude's just calling me out irl.

  • @julissadc9227
    @julissadc9227 4 года назад +3331

    Kurtis: lmao security cameras in schools don't exist
    Me: *laughs in american*

    • @Amanda-wd9pp
      @Amanda-wd9pp 4 года назад +286

      he said in classrooms, which he's right- they're not allowed to have cameras in the classrooms.

    • @larilittle1202
      @larilittle1202 4 года назад +75

      *laughs in Iranian* at least we have something in common

    • @transjesus3454
      @transjesus3454 4 года назад +113

      @@Amanda-wd9pp some private schools where i live have cameras in classrooms (and bathrooms-)

    • @addie576
      @addie576 4 года назад +182

      @@transjesus3454 Isn’t it illegal to keep cameras in bathrooms?

    • @mcplumpkin6191
      @mcplumpkin6191 4 года назад +25

      @@addie576 my school tho-

  • @craftwire1711
    @craftwire1711 3 года назад +3219

    I just picked up my dog from the shelter and I tried to take a picture of him with my phone and he said “mother, we don’t need smart phones. Just be in the moment

    • @mrfrogkingg
      @mrfrogkingg 3 года назад +184

      Ugh, your dog is so polite and understanding. The first time I met my cat, he only said: " get me out of here, dumbass, I want chicken nuggies "

    • @colinkeohane7006
      @colinkeohane7006 3 года назад +95

      Its true, i was the clapped

    • @icattgacha1891
      @icattgacha1891 3 года назад +15

      @@colinkeohane7006 sus

    • @beowulf1658
      @beowulf1658 3 года назад +30

      It’s true, I was the phone.

    • @gray.2081
      @gray.2081 3 года назад +29

      It’s true, I was the dog

  • @thatdogisjet2892
    @thatdogisjet2892 Год назад +1

    12:54 i love how he didnt even take the chain off

  • @sillyname3969
    @sillyname3969 Год назад +14

    my mom always told me that i started talking later than most kids, but when i did i was speaking full sentences. granted, they werent as profound and exquisite as the ones in the video, and i think its an autism thing, but still

  • @gxxcfbbdxf5275
    @gxxcfbbdxf5275 4 года назад +1699

    **Kurtis talking about his tour**
    Me: **slams fists in angry European fashion**

    • @llllllllll9577
      @llllllllll9577 4 года назад +25

      Depressed Noodle HAHHAHAAHA I LAUGHED AT THIS HARD

    • @lauralunagonzalez8489
      @lauralunagonzalez8489 4 года назад +6

      Same

    • @alexisd5514
      @alexisd5514 4 года назад +12

      THEY WERE BY ME BUT I’M BROKE AND COULDN’T GET TICKETS. :(

    • @floorboards3008
      @floorboards3008 4 года назад +8

      I thought it said slaps fists like you are slapping your fist and then slapping your other fist 🤜✋ 🤚🤛

    • @timbaaij7436
      @timbaaij7436 4 года назад

      What European country?

  • @amorekoos
    @amorekoos 4 года назад +15851

    *girl wakes up after surgery*
    “where’s kurtis conner?”
    “he didn’t tell you?”
    “what?”
    “who do you think gave you the facetune eyes?”

    • @Ame_Katze
      @Ame_Katze 4 года назад +612

      *girl begins crying*

    • @nietts
      @nietts 4 года назад +73

      :'-(

    • @jennys43
      @jennys43 4 года назад +201

      Then after that day, she prayed to her cross made out of pepsi

    • @lemonycatapult7300
      @lemonycatapult7300 4 года назад +268

      Then everyone in the hospital clapped 👏🏼 💯

    • @xzielaz
      @xzielaz 4 года назад +26

      Nagito Komaeda haha like if you v I b e d

  • @starshineee_
    @starshineee_ 8 месяцев назад +1

    That kid praying to a cross made of soda boxes reminds me of something Oral would do.

  • @r-robertson-d
    @r-robertson-d 6 месяцев назад +1

    my school had security cameras in all classes and hallways but no audio attached to any. they only really looked at them if something was reported or an incident occurred (someone leaves the building in the middle of class, etc)
    they even had vape detectors in bathrooms

  • @nolandailey3362
    @nolandailey3362 4 года назад +2076

    My baby said his first words at the young age of 2 months! The first thing he EVER said was “e=mc^2”! He grew up to be Leonardo Da Vinci. I’m so proud of him!!! 😊😊😊

    • @gingerbread9691
      @gingerbread9691 4 года назад +179

      Nolan Dailey My child’s first words were mooooooo he grew up to be a cow, last month we gave him to a farm and everybody clapped

    • @Hermanator1124
      @Hermanator1124 4 года назад +72

      @@gingerbread9691 must've been delicious to eat your own kid and drink his nice nice milk

    • @mynameisnotlisa
      @mynameisnotlisa 4 года назад +7

      It was Einstein's formula...

    • @user-mz6et6fr1r
      @user-mz6et6fr1r 4 года назад +45

      @@mynameisnotlisa r/woooosh

    • @shouto6176
      @shouto6176 4 года назад +29

      @@mynameisnotlisa r/woooooooooosh

  • @bee1137
    @bee1137 3 года назад +4698

    Gimme hot dog and iPad.
    𝐵𝐼𝑇𝐶𝐻.

    • @bee1137
      @bee1137 3 года назад +31

      Your imaginary friend preach

    • @echo_sprite
      @echo_sprite 3 года назад +11

      How did you do that font?

    • @bee1137
      @bee1137 3 года назад +10

      Mary Drzycimski I use a app called “fonts”

    • @echo_sprite
      @echo_sprite 3 года назад +6

      Thank you!

    • @meldogg_104
      @meldogg_104 3 года назад +10

      I laughed so hard at that omfg