Straight People Gotta Stop

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  • Опубликовано: 25 янв 2025

Комментарии • 27 тыс.

  • @kurtisconner
    @kurtisconner  4 года назад +94781

    if ur a pissed off heterosexual person in the comments please take a chill pill bucko you’re allowed to laugh at yourself!!! relax!!!

    • @emma-cb6wh
      @emma-cb6wh 4 года назад +1520

      Kurtis Conner hi kurtis

    • @tastynicecat1677
      @tastynicecat1677 4 года назад +2818

      Woah, *I'm offended*

    • @Amanda-zp3rg
      @Amanda-zp3rg 4 года назад +950

      bucko

    • @pompompurin2006
      @pompompurin2006 4 года назад +2307

      Yesh Please *offended in gay*

    • @Algeesoup
      @Algeesoup 4 года назад +2630

      This is hilarious, str8 ppl b crazy. But we still love y’all lol

  • @raymondhooper3644
    @raymondhooper3644 4 года назад +9543

    "Babe whats your biggest fear?"
    "Definitely wasps"
    "NO, you were supposed to say losing me!"
    "Idk wasps are pretty scary"

    • @sicksalt7765
      @sicksalt7765 4 года назад +512

      "I think you should BEE a little more romantic"

    • @ineciaw9249
      @ineciaw9249 4 года назад +85

      Operatic Egg I tip my hat to you.

    • @floofkiniguess1026
      @floofkiniguess1026 4 года назад +55

      Princess Neica
      Ya like jazz?

    • @dookiefart8818
      @dookiefart8818 4 года назад +30

      @Savannah Phillips wheres the b

    • @nayabr.119
      @nayabr.119 4 года назад +1

      Operatic Egg im investing stock in this comment

  • @rachaelelizabeth8711
    @rachaelelizabeth8711 4 года назад +10300

    "don't lose a loyal man because he's occasionally unfaithful"
    do u even know what loyal means bro

    • @Bellas61
      @Bellas61 4 года назад +342

      Surprised loyal is even spelled right

    • @K1llswitchkat
      @K1llswitchkat 4 года назад +8

      wooosh

    • @thecrazygingey3692
      @thecrazygingey3692 4 года назад +117

      @@K1llswitchkat do u know what wooosh means my guy

    • @azzy__films
      @azzy__films 4 года назад +10

      I read this just as the part came in the video

    • @m.m9076
      @m.m9076 4 года назад +98

      “Don’t lose a loyal man even though he isn’t really a loyal man”

  • @FootlessJo
    @FootlessJo 4 года назад +25537

    I was horrified to realize I haven't been subscribed....I thought I had been for months. I'm now mortified because I've been claiming that extra greeting for half a year without actually joining. What a deep and lasting moral failing, I am ashamed.

    • @aquaticangel3380
      @aquaticangel3380 4 года назад +2241

      You should be ashamed.

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo 4 года назад +1650

      @@aquaticangel3380 Deeply, deeply ashamed.

    • @lixonzito2481
      @lixonzito2481 4 года назад +1350

      well congrats on becoming an official resident of Kurtistown

    • @bostonvontugeln7325
      @bostonvontugeln7325 4 года назад +851

      Give us back our greetings, thief!

    • @エイジャ
      @エイジャ 4 года назад +359

      It happens to the best of us

  • @lilycatherine3238
    @lilycatherine3238 2 года назад +7630

    If cutting out your eyes makes your boyfriend happy, that isn’t your boyfriend. That’s the mayor of Prague.

  • @officialjohnlee
    @officialjohnlee 4 года назад +2876

    Whenever he said “has this ever happened to you?” I thought he was about to sponsor some vpn to block the ads

  • @hi-pb8bq
    @hi-pb8bq 4 года назад +13246

    the “has this ever happened to you” bit was a genuine fever dream

  • @AnastassiaHaynes
    @AnastassiaHaynes 4 года назад +5695

    when that girl said "our world" she was telling him she's a commie

  • @aguywithalotofopinions412
    @aguywithalotofopinions412 2 года назад +5959

    Honestly as a straight guy, that “I hate my wife” boomer humor really grosses me out. Like, don’t be with her man, divorce is very much a thing now. Becoming toxic and resentful doesn’t help anyone.

    • @Atlas_here5580
      @Atlas_here5580 2 года назад +65

      They're secretly gay duh

    • @wrathofthelamb318
      @wrathofthelamb318 2 года назад +204

      @@Atlas_here5580 lack of attraction towards women doesn't equal misogyny.

    • @Atlas_here5580
      @Atlas_here5580 2 года назад +54

      @@wrathofthelamb318 dude it was a joke, im well aware of that

    • @purplecobra52
      @purplecobra52 2 года назад +57

      Boomers came from a time where divorce was largely frowned upon. And then my grandparents are just stubborn.

    • @osiris676
      @osiris676 2 года назад +28

      The guy can't leave because back in the 60's and he was still young, he never felt like he needed to learn how to cook healthy food or keep a house clean. He needs an experienced woman to do it for him. But truly, both of the spouses stay because of a feeling of security. Deep down, they despise each other but would rather hang on to each other than die alone.

  • @aydanouman8275
    @aydanouman8275 4 года назад +21591

    The extra greeting really hits different when that’s basically the only human interaction you’re getting

    • @user-oq7ee2ol6i
      @user-oq7ee2ol6i 4 года назад +65

      damn that's true

    • @Whateva360
      @Whateva360 4 года назад +25

      yea 😭

    • @nemesis7539
      @nemesis7539 4 года назад +41

      I was about to C r y

    • @RM-ib8tq
      @RM-ib8tq 4 года назад +10

      Damn I didn’t think about it that way but yeah

    • @IsaacClodfelter
      @IsaacClodfelter 4 года назад +13

      That's why I subscribed in the first place, why else would you?

  • @yannmal2259
    @yannmal2259 4 года назад +11131

    This dude predicted that a gender reveal party will burn down something.

    • @giant-enemy-spider
      @giant-enemy-spider 4 года назад +236

      Holy shit he really did

    • @sashaferguson2178
      @sashaferguson2178 4 года назад +111

      damn he really did

    • @caitlinmanning4970
      @caitlinmanning4970 4 года назад +45

      I was about to comment this lol

    • @el3mnt477
      @el3mnt477 4 года назад +60

      It’s okay guys u can calm down it’s happened quite a few times 4heads

    • @urmom6687
      @urmom6687 4 года назад +20

      something being california...

  • @2445elijah
    @2445elijah 4 года назад +2261

    Honestly the worst straight memes and stuff involve “sacrifice yourself to your lover and ignore their glaring faults” it’s horrible and perfect for helping normalize abusive relations

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 4 года назад +12

      The dude speaks the truth, straight stuff really does try to normalize abuse and all

    • @howarewedoingtoday5635
      @howarewedoingtoday5635 4 года назад +1

      Black Knight Fool you do realize there talking about memes not people, right? Just a little advice if you were more careful about making anything more personal to you than it should you would be a lot happier and less stressed in life. Since you kind of miss the whole point of the original statement and made it about you instead of the issue at had.

    • @howarewedoingtoday5635
      @howarewedoingtoday5635 4 года назад +2

      Black Knight Fool in you heart do you really believe there was a malicious intent against the entire straight community because the original comment talked about “normalizing abuse is bad”? So is that an a good thing? The way you pull up sources and point fingers makes it seem like you have no intention to empathize with others and chose to blame shift instead, and yet you’re last source implies that you are more concerned with the empathy of a gay man with feminist, lesbians, and women . I didn’t think you were going to reply with this much of everything, but since you did reply and seem pretty passionate I’m now very intrigued and just want to have a conversation to know why this is affecting you so much

  • @crisptomato9495
    @crisptomato9495 2 года назад +1173

    Ok but as a gay, that Shrek wedding looks lit af.

  • @xx-mr2bb
    @xx-mr2bb 4 года назад +12832

    “don’t loose a loyal man because he’s occasionally unfaithful” *has to be the worst advice i’ve ever heard* 😂

    • @dayonnasimmons4455
      @dayonnasimmons4455 4 года назад +321

      I KNOOWWWW I thought they made that as a joke 💀💀💀

    • @megschwartz2461
      @megschwartz2461 4 года назад +511

      Right 😂😂 How can you be an unfaithful ‘loyal’ man, like what does that even mean

    • @mufields
      @mufields 4 года назад +284

      "Dont lose a faithful man bc hes unfaithful" basically how that "advice" sounds

    • @mariumkhan1078
      @mariumkhan1078 4 года назад +9

      babygxx and that’s what makes it even better

    • @INSERTMARI
      @INSERTMARI 4 года назад

      lmao

  • @nereushall6346
    @nereushall6346 4 года назад +803

    Kurtis: I’m never doing green screen sketches again
    Kurtis: proceeds to do more green screen sketches

  • @dbyron3824
    @dbyron3824 4 года назад +2264

    Australia has a show called “married at first sight”. So do what you will with that information

    • @zidvicious6047
      @zidvicious6047 4 года назад +65

      Oh God that show annoys me.

    • @artemis_beans
      @artemis_beans 4 года назад +42

      American has it to me and my mom watch it sometimes

    • @sah-z7o
      @sah-z7o 4 года назад +12

      Sarcastic Trash same here in England

    • @madisond453
      @madisond453 4 года назад +7

      Sarcastic Trash sight* but yes, and it’s comedy gold

    • @치킨사줘-d1v
      @치킨사줘-d1v 4 года назад +1

      yeah same here in France

  • @KoiKat_
    @KoiKat_ 2 года назад +2776

    The only time I've ever seen a gender reveal party I actually liked was one for a pregnant horse.

    • @thenetherbaddie9760
      @thenetherbaddie9760 2 года назад +63

      thats amazing

    • @Morrislover.they.xem.
      @Morrislover.they.xem. 2 года назад +49

      Ya, horses are pretty great

    • @222fleur_
      @222fleur_ 2 года назад +190

      I hoped they named the baby horse “equestrianne”

    • @syd3262
      @syd3262 2 года назад +16

      did they make any horse puns

    • @c0rps3z_bride
      @c0rps3z_bride 2 года назад +1

      12:05 no. Ur making me mad. You’re getting on my nerves.

  • @drew4458
    @drew4458 4 года назад +3352

    "i feel like i moved houses, cuz that was a lot to unpack" is one of kurtis's best jokes

  • @viaviaviavia
    @viaviaviavia 4 года назад +1025

    Okay the "has this ever happened to you?" sequence was masterful. Comedy gold. Incredible. I'm speechless.

    • @Mucelinq
      @Mucelinq 4 года назад +14

      A cinematic masterpiece

    • @miro6960
      @miro6960 4 года назад +25

      I'm straight but... It was incredible

    • @miro6960
      @miro6960 4 года назад +16

      Jk I'm gay

    • @ChickenKinglolz
      @ChickenKinglolz 4 года назад +5

      It was frictionless

    • @monomonito929
      @monomonito929 4 года назад +2

      kurtis' humour is getting more and more abstract and I'm living 4 it

  • @DoctorWorm97
    @DoctorWorm97 4 года назад +6786

    this aged like fine wine with elon musk naming his kid X Æ A-12

    • @anglicothemonkey3496
      @anglicothemonkey3496 4 года назад +108

      that was probably grimes, they're really really cool

    • @lilj3045
      @lilj3045 4 года назад +41

      AnglicoTheMonkey aka kyle

    • @guitaria6
      @guitaria6 4 года назад +56

      Vic Eaton it was grimes who named her kid X Æ A-12.
      edit: plus, grimes isn’t 100% straight so

    • @s.a.8548
      @s.a.8548 4 года назад +39

      Is grimes bi? She gives off that vibe.

    • @julianmars8968
      @julianmars8968 4 года назад +41

      weirdo yeah but Elon also added the A-12 part

  • @invisiman1938
    @invisiman1938 2 года назад +2774

    There are two types of elderly couple
    The kind who hate each other with a dying passion for no apparent reason and don't get a divorce because they'd bee too lonely and lose a lot of money
    And the two most wholesome people you will ever know
    There is absolutely no in between.

    • @purincore320
      @purincore320 2 года назад +6

      they've either been married for 60 years and are the kindest people in the world, or they would kill each other at any given chance

    • @iananderson4754
      @iananderson4754 2 года назад +54

      Well my grandparents get along great. They were friends since childhood

    • @ciphergacha9100
      @ciphergacha9100 2 года назад +34

      My grandparents used to be the most wholesome people ever

    • @Jupiter-T
      @Jupiter-T 2 года назад +47

      How about the old couple that's like super annoyed with each other's bad habits but is like "Well I've put up with you this long... shit, might as well keep on going."

    • @invisiman1938
      @invisiman1938 2 года назад +36

      @@Jupiter-T that's the first type

  • @therealslimshitty5186
    @therealslimshitty5186 4 года назад +7222

    "Welcome to my world."
    _"Our_ world now."
    **Soviet Anthem starts playing**

    • @aoife78
      @aoife78 4 года назад +12

      ARR YOU KIRRIN ME, IDIA? Lmaoooooo 😂

    • @0Flow0
      @0Flow0 4 года назад +5

      Wtf 😅

    • @gaydummy2845
      @gaydummy2845 4 года назад +48

      ☭ for the motherland! ☭

    • @EarlyOwOwl
      @EarlyOwOwl 4 года назад +2

      i still relevant
      no
      my city now

    • @lilithhastur1952
      @lilithhastur1952 4 года назад +28

      Well y'know, red is the color of love and sharing is caring, so communism

  • @eatmyahs7603
    @eatmyahs7603 4 года назад +5945

    that extra greeting hits different when you’re non-heterosexual

  • @hatsuneloren
    @hatsuneloren 4 года назад +7134

    When he came out as a “straight white guy” I felt that

    • @Jeoloseph
      @Jeoloseph 4 года назад +5

      Why

    • @mechalinden
      @mechalinden 4 года назад +115

      Leothelion why not?

    • @Jeoloseph
      @Jeoloseph 4 года назад +17

      @@mechalinden I just dont really get what it means by "I felt that", I mean it doesn't really mean anything or make any sense in that context

    • @laylal4907
      @laylal4907 4 года назад +19

      I was the 420th like say thanks

    • @ashleywangg
      @ashleywangg 4 года назад +137

      Leothelion Bro, it's a joke 😕

  • @lmaojustchangedmyname4565
    @lmaojustchangedmyname4565 2 года назад +314

    As a not straight person, actually if you’re a straight man and woman getting married and you’re gonna dress up as shrek and Fiona for that, that’s the best thing I’ve ever seen

  • @jinxthe0ne1
    @jinxthe0ne1 4 года назад +9287

    why do all of kurtis’s tiny jokes turn into mini movies

    • @thatsonyou6093
      @thatsonyou6093 4 года назад +375

      He is too powerful

    • @poffydaisy5134
      @poffydaisy5134 4 года назад +431

      He can't control his power of _green screen_

    • @skeletiddes
      @skeletiddes 4 года назад +134

      why do we just....accept it?? LMAO

    • @it4065
      @it4065 4 года назад +176

      @@skeletiddes because he's our mayor

    • @krisdoesart9643
      @krisdoesart9643 4 года назад +49

      skeletiddes cause he's the mayor and we've gotta be nice to him

  • @anicunningham5520
    @anicunningham5520 4 года назад +1171

    paint me like one of your french girls? nah, play me like one of your cellos

  • @ashegrey3042
    @ashegrey3042 11 месяцев назад +52

    don’t lose a *loyal* man bc he’s *occasionally unfaithful* is WILD

    • @argos_lucien
      @argos_lucien 13 часов назад

      "Don't lose a good man just bc he's actually not good at all"

  • @jacjg3629
    @jacjg3629 4 года назад +3600

    he said “welcome to my world” she then said “our world now”
    𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙚𝙨

  • @hexmum9745
    @hexmum9745 4 года назад +4774

    why is no one talking about how kurtis has a cello

    • @emash3361
      @emash3361 4 года назад +127

      i was looking through the comments for this ahaha

    • @alinaschroderus
      @alinaschroderus 4 года назад +31

      hexmum i was looking for this comment!

    • @fernandatoledo5504
      @fernandatoledo5504 4 года назад +18

      i was lokking for this comment too

    • @roshnisohail4356
      @roshnisohail4356 4 года назад +103

      He rented it just for the joke 😭

    • @heyitsava352
      @heyitsava352 4 года назад +18

      I was so confused when i saw it lmao

  • @Keyser___Soze
    @Keyser___Soze 3 года назад +17132

    “Dont lose a LOYAL man because he’s occasionally UNFAITHFUL”
    That literally couldn’t contradict itself anymore. That literally makes zero sense and isn’t possible

    • @arnavjain2742
      @arnavjain2742 3 года назад +1513

      Dont lose a VEGAN man because he occasionally EATS MEAT.

    • @spaghetti-zc5on
      @spaghetti-zc5on 3 года назад +821

      Don’t lose a CHAIR because it occasionally EXPLODES

    • @_ikako_
      @_ikako_ 3 года назад +924

      Don't lose your ELECTRIC CAR just because it sometimes RUNS ON GAS

    • @bagelinpond2433
      @bagelinpond2433 3 года назад +731

      Dont lose the KIDS, please come back Jenifer i miss you

    • @sunhopii8534
      @sunhopii8534 3 года назад +196

      @@bagelinpond2433 sorry for your loss dude

  • @ChipsofShrimp
    @ChipsofShrimp Год назад +92

    If men hate their wife, why don’t they try men?

    • @poison-LICKTHEPOISON
      @poison-LICKTHEPOISON Год назад +13

      This is actually how I found out I was bi

    • @ChipsofShrimp
      @ChipsofShrimp Год назад +6

      @@poison-LICKTHEPOISON congrats!

    • @Mountinny
      @Mountinny 6 месяцев назад

      @@poison-LICKTHEPOISON You found out you were.. BIASED!!

    • @argos_lucien
      @argos_lucien 13 часов назад

      No, 'cause so often I'll see straight people absolutely shitting on the opposite gender and saying they hate dating people of the opposite gender and I'll just be like 🤨

  • @rileymcgowan6490
    @rileymcgowan6490 3 года назад +3531

    My sister’s friend’s mom went to school with someone named Cynjohnthia. A hybrid of Cynthia and John. I wish I was making that up.

    • @hid3f_
      @hid3f_ 3 года назад +144

      BRUH

    • @CreativeCreatorCreates
      @CreativeCreatorCreates 3 года назад +76

      Ooh noooooooooo

    • @imbroke97
      @imbroke97 3 года назад +336

      Americans will name their kids ANYTHING except for a normal name

    • @CreativeCreatorCreates
      @CreativeCreatorCreates 3 года назад +49

      @@imbroke97 my boys have familial names...from their elders. I can’t fathom naming themselves something awful. When I was little I was told my name was a mans name (Sidney was my granddads name). No one else had it, which at the time was upsetting. Im fine with it now lol. Back then the popular names were Amy and Jennifer. I knew multiples of each throughout my whole life until post college years.

    • @greeeedo318
      @greeeedo318 3 года назад +66

      I feel so bad for that poor kid,I hope they changed their name

  • @grayson8686
    @grayson8686 4 года назад +4078

    kurtis: have you ever seen cringy, heterosexual stuff?
    my parents: i am actually... the president of the company.

    • @thatsonyou6093
      @thatsonyou6093 4 года назад +129

      C e o o f h o m o p h o b i c a b u s e r - my dad

    • @lvely4126
      @lvely4126 4 года назад +63

      @@thatsonyou6093 Are you okay tho? Does he abuse you?

    • @cobbvanthdilf
      @cobbvanthdilf 4 года назад +107

      My whole school: I am actually the president of the company

    • @thatsonyou6093
      @thatsonyou6093 4 года назад +43

      @@lvely4126 (The abuse has nothong to do with the homophobia btw) but he abuses my mom

    • @lvely4126
      @lvely4126 4 года назад +62

      @@thatsonyou6093 That's still really worrying... Maybe you should tell someone who could help?

  • @danispaghetti
    @danispaghetti 4 года назад +1211

    lol is this what that “how many of my viewers are bisexual women” poll on twitter was ahaha

    • @melima_
      @melima_ 4 года назад +27

      I see, I should follow him on twitter 😂

    • @_y0inks581
      @_y0inks581 4 года назад +2

      @@melima_ same

    • @fawnarella
      @fawnarella 4 года назад +70

      my bi ass missed that?? i should deffo follow him on twitter

    • @xsophia.sheridanx8244
      @xsophia.sheridanx8244 4 года назад +6

      All of them

    • @shuyotirah9132
      @shuyotirah9132 4 года назад +11

      @@fawnarella lmao same. My bi ass is lowkey sad that i missed it

  • @SandwichGodAllMighty
    @SandwichGodAllMighty Год назад +132

    Chill cool dude that respects other people’s sexuality’s and genders/pronouns. Respect.

  • @mill1757
    @mill1757 4 года назад +1354

    WHY DID THE CELLO SKIT ESCALATE LIKE THAT IM CRYINGF

    • @togarmah9848
      @togarmah9848 4 года назад +3

      U KNOWW!!!

    • @ia490
      @ia490 4 года назад +28

      I thought it was time for the ad and I was confused when it didn't happen 😂 that would've been such a good segue

    • @alaynachichester8833
      @alaynachichester8833 4 года назад +18

      like did he actually buy a cello just for the skit???

    • @ShoulderMonster
      @ShoulderMonster 4 года назад +4

      @@alaynachichester8833 I wondered if he always had it and this joke provided the perfect excuse to pull it out! "Finally..."

    • @claire3614
      @claire3614 4 года назад

      Oh my god I've been laughing for minutes now make this stop

  • @cokejupiter6189
    @cokejupiter6189 4 года назад +935

    Her: “He’s probably thinking about other girls”
    Him: *has this ever happened to you?*

  • @e3xiii315
    @e3xiii315 4 года назад +1405

    Who’s buying legs and eyes? Asking for a friend.

  • @dellybird5394
    @dellybird5394 2 года назад +864

    I think straight people are more likely to end up in resentful marriages because it's the most socially acceptable relationship type. People don't get gay married or stay in poly relationships just because their family/church expects them to, they do it because they've done a lot of self-reflection and realized that's what will make them happy.
    On the other hand, a lot of straight marriages happen just because they're following the Life ScriptTM without any self-reflection. So, it is more likely that they'll get married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
    A lot of people just won't do well in a lifelong relationship with one person. Some people do better with other types of relationships (or none at all), but they are taught that marriage is the only "right" way. So, they force themselves into an arrangement they dislike and convince themselves the resentment is normal.
    Marriage works well for me, since I'm a creature of habit that loves waking up with the same partner every single day. You're not broken if you don't want that, so don't consign yourself to a life of posting passive aggressive cope memes... be yourself!

    • @Uncle188
      @Uncle188 2 года назад

      Not exactly. Gay men are generally the happiest couples. Lesbians are generally the most abusive. Heterosexual couples are in the middle.

    • @Ismael-kc3ry
      @Ismael-kc3ry 2 года назад +81

      All true, also keep in mind that straight relationships are statistically much much much more likely, so the number of unhealthy straight relationships is astronomically higher by default

    • @sayonara963
      @sayonara963 2 года назад +31

      I mean, isnt straight relationships like 80 or maybe 90% of the world’s population? It makes sense that there r A LOT of unhappy straight relationships, not just bc of expectations.. being in an lgbt relationship doesnt mean u’ll be happy. It just depends on how ppl handle their relationships.. im concern why make a general assumption of straight relationships.

    • @elisecode2212
      @elisecode2212 2 года назад +8

      amatonormativity ✨

    • @NadiaSeesIt
      @NadiaSeesIt 2 года назад +18

      This is weird take. A lot of these kinds of relationships are relegated to older generations. It's more culture specific than sexuality specific. I've seen amazing and crappy marriages of many sexualities, people's generations are more indicative of this

  • @huihui05
    @huihui05 4 года назад +2568

    "Heterono, oh no" that's how I feel as a bisexual all the time

  • @Oshidorinohina
    @Oshidorinohina 4 года назад +1955

    "don't lose a loyal man because he's occasionally unfaithful"- unfaithful and loyal- you can't have both. you either unfaithful, or you're faithful.

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 4 года назад +32

      Yes thank you. I'm not sure there's a more applicable example of why that Inigo Montoya meme is still a thing.

    • @caidalee1994
      @caidalee1994 4 года назад +23

      It’s like kinda being pregnant. That’s not how it works.

    • @hid3f_
      @hid3f_ 2 года назад +6

      @@caidalee1994 im kinda pregnant but sometimes not

    • @sapphirewings8638
      @sapphirewings8638 2 года назад +1

      @@hid3f_ *PFFFT-*

  • @aj-mf1mb
    @aj-mf1mb 4 года назад +5360

    i’m so proud of kurtis for coming out as straight

    • @socialnorm3295
      @socialnorm3295 4 года назад +32

      bts gay i love your username

    • @ccl501
      @ccl501 4 года назад +53

      @@socialnorm3295 -i fucking hate your name-
      *same*

    • @socialnorm3295
      @socialnorm3295 4 года назад +7

      「Cøsmic latte ダーリン」 its better than chicken scratches

    • @finley7986
      @finley7986 4 года назад +13

      「Cøsmic latte ダーリン」 omfg I legit *wheezed*-

    • @baleighmiller9692
      @baleighmiller9692 4 года назад +18

      It’s so brave of him😌🥺

  • @geckomog2590
    @geckomog2590 Год назад +39

    "I'm straight but... that's incredible" reminded me of when I got my license it was raining and my examiner said almost nothing the whole time he didn't have to until I pointed out a double rainbow and this 45 y/o man looked up from his clipboard for a sec and said "that's gay" and I almost burst out laughing

  • @shilohelgin2408
    @shilohelgin2408 4 года назад +5143

    That gender reveal joke was so far ahead of its time.

  • @ASTER10NN
    @ASTER10NN 4 года назад +620

    What is the “home of sexuals” and why do people keep saying I live there?

    • @benlovesstyle
      @benlovesstyle 4 года назад +14

      ugh sAme.

    • @billbuttlicker1248
      @billbuttlicker1248 4 года назад +27

      Cherry Cotton Candy I don’t live there anymore because I said “bye of sexuals”

    • @andrewaustin5597
      @andrewaustin5597 4 года назад

      Stolen joke

    • @benlovesstyle
      @benlovesstyle 4 года назад +3

      @Emerson Lima but i dont want to be a murderer :(

    • @naee491
      @naee491 4 года назад +1

      omg same

  • @sammie4159
    @sammie4159 4 года назад +2129

    that whole cello skit was a f e v e r d r e a m

    • @jarjarbinks1006
      @jarjarbinks1006 4 года назад +33

      Ya I felt fucking high

    • @Matty002
      @Matty002 4 года назад +41

      no it was an i n f o m e r c i a l

    • @maliacole2523
      @maliacole2523 4 года назад +17

      i forgot what i was watching

    • @Treethefairydog
      @Treethefairydog 4 года назад +4

      I am watching it and I've had to pause it cuz I'm far to high for this

    • @levilolol523
      @levilolol523 4 года назад +1

      He had the wrong bowhold😤

  • @gomibear.
    @gomibear. 2 года назад +94

    As a straight person I apologize for these peoples actions

  • @mars6855
    @mars6855 4 года назад +8555

    me: oh cute baby! what’s its name?
    straight white woman: well it’s a GIRL, she’s wearing pink socks. and her name is drywall, thank you

    • @pluto3194
      @pluto3194 4 года назад +1055

      Inaccurate
      It'd be named Drie-wa'al

    • @somekid1488
      @somekid1488 4 года назад +9

      200th like let's goo

    • @MeltingMellons
      @MeltingMellons 4 года назад +146

      Because that’s how it felt like making her

    • @r.7530
      @r.7530 4 года назад +36

      @@MeltingMellons NAILED IT😂😂😂

    • @communistskeletonpiss
      @communistskeletonpiss 4 года назад +18

      @@MeltingMellons isn't that the case with every straight couple?

  • @cones1362
    @cones1362 4 года назад +361

    I saw this one Tik Tok where this girl asked her boyfriend what would he do if she never existed and she got mad because he said that you would date someone else

    • @HyrumLentz
      @HyrumLentz 4 года назад +59

      Imagine missing something that doesn't exist

    • @davidkonevky7372
      @davidkonevky7372 4 года назад +21

      That's like promising to not cheat on your imaginary girlfriend that's on your dreams.

    • @lawriem7747
      @lawriem7747 4 года назад +15

      I cAn’T bELiEvE yOu wOuLdN’t dAtE mE iF I wAs a wOrM!

    • @argos_lucien
      @argos_lucien 13 часов назад

      Can't believe he wouldn't fall in love with her if she wasn't a person at all smh

  • @camhutchins03
    @camhutchins03 4 года назад +587

    you’ve heard of “breaking her back like a glow stick” well introducing “playing her back like a cello”

    • @shannybabes96
      @shannybabes96 4 года назад +2

      I've never heard of the first one either! I'm learning so much

  • @tri4ls
    @tri4ls Год назад +24

    the whole "has this ever happened to you" is genuinely my favorite kurtis skit and i have no idea why

  • @papayasmith
    @papayasmith 4 года назад +4143

    Don’t lose a loyal man just because he’s not loyal

  • @ireallywannasleep3737
    @ireallywannasleep3737 4 года назад +5751

    Theres nothing hotter than a dude who's comfotable with his sexuality tbh

    • @masterchef7888
      @masterchef7888 4 года назад +47

      IREALLYWANNASLEEP exactly

    • @ratbabe455
      @ratbabe455 4 года назад +142

      the bar is so low for you guys

    • @whalienabi
      @whalienabi 4 года назад +188

      Yes!! Maybe my opinion doesn't count since I'm a gay woman, but seeing how comfortable Tom Holland is with his sexuality is one of the main reasons why he'll be the only man I find attractive

    • @trailer-trash-trans-boi5363
      @trailer-trash-trans-boi5363 4 года назад +44

      @@whalienabi I knoow what you're talking about as a gay male women who're comfy with themselves really be makin bi

    • @canves9817
      @canves9817 4 года назад +9

      there is: woman

  • @dagonundone
    @dagonundone 4 года назад +723

    I was ready for all the hetero couple insults. What I wasn’t prepared for was to get absolutely dunked on for being a Home Depot employee.

    • @bananasinfrench
      @bananasinfrench 4 года назад +11

      rip 😔

    • @damarisabreu1169
      @damarisabreu1169 4 года назад +10

      The Hill bro nobody cares

    • @Lilyina444
      @Lilyina444 4 года назад +1

      HeatherKiwi same but as a raver hahaha

    • @FlaiExists
      @FlaiExists 4 года назад +2

      As a fellow human living the orange life... It really do hit different... F

  • @Remi_Lin
    @Remi_Lin Год назад +40

    Bro is confident in his identity and comfortable in his masculinity. High key god tier dood. We love a great ally!

  • @gard2097
    @gard2097 4 года назад +1580

    Nobody:
    Kurtis: does a skit that takes up half of the video

    • @kayleycraghead6238
      @kayleycraghead6238 4 года назад +38

      i mean it is kurtis

    • @livrose6071
      @livrose6071 4 года назад +8

      Extra greeting

    • @chloe._.
      @chloe._. 4 года назад +22

      That skit was peak surrealist humour

    • @ethanbrown7628
      @ethanbrown7628 4 года назад +1

      Beat me to it. I posted something almost exactly like this before running to the comments section to see who else noticed.

    • @gard2097
      @gard2097 4 года назад

      Chloe Naylor agreed

  • @elysia1700
    @elysia1700 4 года назад +668

    every single one of kurtis’s jokes are a whole movie now and i’m here for it

    • @Thisworldisagoner
      @Thisworldisagoner 4 года назад +6

      I always wished I could play out my ideas movie style. Kurtis did it in real :')

    • @nunyabidness143
      @nunyabidness143 4 года назад +2

      Lmao this the truest comment I’ve ever seen.

  • @teodoraristic822
    @teodoraristic822 4 года назад +6635

    "Or they'll have a gender reveal party where they'll set a school on fire"
    Kurtis casually having a prophetic revelation while making a funny video

    • @eliselinnarz4757
      @eliselinnarz4757 3 года назад +33

      i was looking for this one lmao

    • @NougetChops
      @NougetChops 3 года назад +14

      As Elise said, I came looking for this one.

    • @cringevidsfromchildhood
      @cringevidsfromchildhood 3 года назад +70

      The colour of the flames reveal the gender!

    • @Rob-sv1dn
      @Rob-sv1dn 3 года назад +3

      I hate shrigma

    • @viry1337
      @viry1337 3 года назад +22

      Someone had actually done it before this video

  • @shutired
    @shutired 2 года назад +23

    5:38
    „Strumming my pain with his fingers" taken to a whole new level

  • @minervajones2585
    @minervajones2585 4 года назад +9137

    The gender reveal joke now is so depressingly funny

    • @avery6672
      @avery6672 4 года назад +317

      he rlly did predict the future

    • @maisygibson84
      @maisygibson84 4 года назад +108

      I was hoping that someone would comment this.

    • @savvielovesyou
      @savvielovesyou 4 года назад +128

      This is like the second time he has done some predicting 2020 shit and it’s weird. I’m here for it but woah. Also so despresssing

    • @avery6672
      @avery6672 4 года назад +19

      Savannah Harris When was the first time?

    • @jeIIycat
      @jeIIycat 4 года назад +25

      Avery his cop video lmao

  • @miamaria7397
    @miamaria7397 4 года назад +1100

    the “has this ever happened to you” existential crisis sketch was PERFECT 👌🏼

    • @tlkinghdsluvr
      @tlkinghdsluvr 4 года назад +20

      you called?

    • @sarahjessicka
      @sarahjessicka 4 года назад +20

      I really thought it might last the WHOLE video at that point

    • @inferiorcitrus7833
      @inferiorcitrus7833 4 года назад +6

      Sarah Reese He needs to make an entire video version of the sketch

    • @p1nkfreud
      @p1nkfreud 4 года назад +2

      Mia M yeah it had some classic Tim and Eric vibes

    • @izzybitsyspider03
      @izzybitsyspider03 4 года назад +3

      Dat shit melted my brain

  • @blue_is_burning
    @blue_is_burning 4 года назад +5157

    kurtis, as a lesbian, please know i would die for you

    • @omnical6135
      @omnical6135 4 года назад +709

      i misread this and assumed you were calling kurtis a lesbian

    • @sugz6072
      @sugz6072 4 года назад +97

      Omnical LMFAOO SAME

    • @neverleavesthehouse
      @neverleavesthehouse 4 года назад +29

      @@omnical6135 me too

    • @inactiveaccount2703
      @inactiveaccount2703 4 года назад +15

      Omnical OML-

    • @gloss3204
      @gloss3204 4 года назад +202

      he is our lesbian emotional support boy

  • @Mostly_Roblox
    @Mostly_Roblox 2 года назад +420

    As a straight white guy, this is the reason I don't judge a group by it's worst members

    • @LowSelf-EsteemLord
      @LowSelf-EsteemLord Год назад +11

      Bro why someone reply with "stay mad"? You seem like a pretty chill person

    • @Mostly_Roblox
      @Mostly_Roblox Год назад +10

      @@LowSelf-EsteemLord Thanks, so do you

    • @LowSelf-EsteemLord
      @LowSelf-EsteemLord Год назад +5

      @@Mostly_Roblox thank you!

    • @Mostly_Roblox
      @Mostly_Roblox Год назад +5

      @@LowSelf-EsteemLord You're welcome

    • @MLM_Argenti
      @MLM_Argenti 8 месяцев назад +1

      As a gay dude, same honestly

  • @lcrocks7477
    @lcrocks7477 4 года назад +611

    Why is no one talking about the fact that Kurtis just, you know, has a cello...

  • @Raven-wq4li
    @Raven-wq4li 4 года назад +11477

    my therapist: eyeless kurtis isn't real he can't hurt you
    eyeless kurtis: ⚫👄⚫

  • @plumfrogvic
    @plumfrogvic 4 года назад +2332

    Straight guy saying bye to his friend: Hey dude, i’m straight but, hope you have a nice day

    • @JefferyEpsteinOfficial
      @JefferyEpsteinOfficial 4 года назад +10

      Me a straight guy saying- leave us alone you purple dinosaur that aired on televising from 9 5 brh

    • @bruh5491
      @bruh5491 4 года назад

      Streight people with baggy clothes watching this video: im gonna shoot up a gay parade...No hetero tho😳.
      (If this comment gets hate then im taking it down)

    • @ellemillz2881
      @ellemillz2881 4 года назад +15

      I hate when guys be like I love you bro or love you man -no homo. Like you loving your fren doesn’t make you gay

    • @josephvavrina5546
      @josephvavrina5546 4 года назад +1

      Damn right

    • @terra5857
      @terra5857 4 года назад

      Elle Millz I’m straight but same it’s not like you gotta say it after everything

  • @dhampir_days
    @dhampir_days 2 года назад +185

    if anyone is wondering why "I hate my spouse" culture is so rampant, it's mostly because of the shaming associated with divorce in more conservative communities. people feel like getting divorced makes them unlovable, inherently a bitch and it's often frowned upon in said communities due to misogyny and the idea you must be with your husband for life regardless of happiness. especially in the US, where another factor is the divorce process is a bitch in itself. people are afraid of being ousted from their social circles or turned into jokes, so when their marriages are obviously showing signs of falling apart, they just... don't get divorced. this leads to deeper resentment and sadly abuse, and any kids in the picture often take a brunt of it too. some people can't realise they're just not a good fit together, which also ties in with the expectations on people to have a happy nuclear heterosexual family, or the idea that dating and relationships are what make people good and whole, not just being good people, and that not wanting to be married makes them bad somehow (this connects to amatonormativity, but that's another can of worms) then there are also a lot of couples who are kind of forced to get married due to circumstances, such as the girl getting pregnant. this obviously isn't a great basis for any relationships.

    • @hid3f_
      @hid3f_ 2 года назад +3

      perfectly said

    • @shivanipathak5380
      @shivanipathak5380 Год назад +6

      True and in India it's much worse because here the entire families get married and more often then not the woman is expected to take care of not only the husband but also his parents since they live in the same house (kids moving out from their parents house is frowned about here since it's considered "abandoning"). It is slowly getting better though 🤞🏻

    • @vermillion2023
      @vermillion2023 10 месяцев назад +1

      i cried while reading this

  • @skull_party13
    @skull_party13 4 года назад +722

    Your girlfriend turned into a cello?
    Ok Mr Struggle

    • @smik5304
      @smik5304 4 года назад +24

      Fandom Encounters 👏 Leave 👏 him 👏 now. 👏

    • @cobbvanthdilf
      @cobbvanthdilf 4 года назад +5

      💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @kurzler
      @kurzler 4 года назад +7

      I'M LITERALLY CRYING💀

    • @markduret9538
      @markduret9538 4 года назад +7

      *distress noises*

    • @coolmoth3771
      @coolmoth3771 4 года назад +9

      anyone else think this was gonna say "thats rough buddy"? lol

  • @jhetrick2503
    @jhetrick2503 3 года назад +2248

    therapist: eyeless kurtis conner doesn't exist, he can't hurt you
    eyeless kurtis conner:

  • @HopeLeyana
    @HopeLeyana 4 года назад +303

    it's official, kurtis' green screen obsession was not subdued by his entire video dedicated to green screens.

  • @marileaminasi2325
    @marileaminasi2325 2 года назад +38

    4:36 "and when I tried to fight that guy *cause his tank top was messing with my vibe* "
    I can't stop thinking about this line I Think It's the funniest thing on earth

  • @StAshleigh
    @StAshleigh 4 года назад +2433

    Those boomer "jokes" about hating their spouses have always made me so uncomfortable. How are they going to tell me I should be getting married when they make it look like hell. Do the world a favour and just divorce.

    • @erinbush9005
      @erinbush9005 4 года назад +79

      YESS. They make me feel so weird, my mom sometimes posts them and.....ahhh. they're in a happy marriage too, which makes it even weirder🤦‍♀️

    • @DiggyDiggy1919
      @DiggyDiggy1919 4 года назад +5

      These aren't boomer jokes. I see them from EVERYONE

    • @evannnnnnnnnn369
      @evannnnnnnnnn369 4 года назад

      Agreed

    • @escapedscienceexperiement9824
      @escapedscienceexperiement9824 4 года назад +53

      @@DiggyDiggy1919 They are definitely boomer originated. ppl from the later gens just adopted it.

    • @Alina-kc5ky
      @Alina-kc5ky 4 года назад +19

      DiggyDiggy19 yeah u kinda right, toxic dating culture be like that. it’s just so mainstream.

  • @rae9977
    @rae9977 4 года назад +1661

    LMAOOOO WHY ARENT WE TALKING ABOUT THE JOKE AT THE BEGINNING “sorry about the kids that burned up in the school...BUT THE SMOKE IS BLUE, we’re having a LITTLE GUY” LMFAOOO

  • @cryingeyebrows2773
    @cryingeyebrows2773 4 года назад +305

    Also, the thing about older people not divorcing, my grandmothers friend, at 86, ran away from her husband what a queen

    • @ijwd424
      @ijwd424 4 года назад +33

      We can't help but stan

    • @bananasinfrench
      @bananasinfrench 4 года назад +16

      Good for her dude

    • @cryingeyebrows2773
      @cryingeyebrows2773 4 года назад +28

      @@bananasinfrench she ran away to her sisters, and now she has her own place. Its never too late

    • @bananasinfrench
      @bananasinfrench 4 года назад +9

      Cryingeyebrows Bro that’s so nice to hear, I’m very happy for her, thanks for sharing :)

    • @kaistaege5705
      @kaistaege5705 4 года назад +5

      Legend

  • @Hawthorn6852
    @Hawthorn6852 Год назад +11

    As a queer person watching a straight guy make fun of other straight people is a form of entertainment I didn't know I needed lmao

  • @jacehutchison6592
    @jacehutchison6592 4 года назад +3900

    i feel like kurtis falls into the category of John Mulaney Straight

    • @wickerbee2731
      @wickerbee2731 4 года назад +221

      this is the most accurate comment in the whole comment section.

    • @wwa_minuet
      @wwa_minuet 4 года назад +498

      “I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they made like 3/4 of a gay person and forgot to flip the final switch and then just sent me out and said ‘You marked that one gay, right?’ and they go ‘Oh no, was I supposed to?’ and they went ‘Oh man... Well, this will be a very interesting person.’
      This’ll be a very silly person.”

    • @theloveshow8079
      @theloveshow8079 4 года назад +108

      John Mulaney’s straight?????

    • @p1ish
      @p1ish 4 года назад +90

      @@theloveshow8079 he has a wife

    • @eypu999
      @eypu999 4 года назад +17

      @@theloveshow8079 lmao yes

  • @lia-sm3em
    @lia-sm3em 4 года назад +3598

    im straight but kissing the homies goodnight is where its at

    • @stzy8282
      @stzy8282 4 года назад +18

      Ong

    • @lucy-vo2lr
      @lucy-vo2lr 4 года назад +75

      i wish i could kiss the homies goodnight :(

    • @EA-kq6hh
      @EA-kq6hh 4 года назад +107

      I'll be more concern if you *didn't* kiss homies gn

    • @cicada7788
      @cicada7788 4 года назад +42

      you aint real homies if it aint a lil gay💯

    • @shredd9719
      @shredd9719 4 года назад +11

      Kissing the homies goodnight isn't gay tho? 🤔

  • @nemisyne
    @nemisyne 4 года назад +1244

    Generational memes
    Boomers: I hate my wife
    Millennials: I hate my life
    Zoomers: Butter knife.

    • @moleculegirl
      @moleculegirl 4 года назад +125

      As gen z I can say that we just say weird cryptic ass things and laugh out asses off

    • @nemiza8288
      @nemiza8288 4 года назад +74

      Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, lava juice.

    • @nemiza8288
      @nemiza8288 4 года назад +7

      Hahahahaa

    • @catsplat1272
      @catsplat1272 4 года назад +24

      Gen X: nonexistent

    • @mars6855
      @mars6855 4 года назад +6

      🅱️

  • @benfaust
    @benfaust 2 года назад +12

    I saw "332K" as your likes and thought, "When I click this it's going to change to 333 and that will be cool." Imagine my surprise when the number didn't change. My whole reality is crumbling now that I've discovered I'm not 1,000 people.

  • @Umitskyra
    @Umitskyra 4 года назад +1415

    That “don’t lose a loyal man because he’s occasionally unfaithful” took me out 💀💀

    • @kayladjeje4373
      @kayladjeje4373 4 года назад +34

      The heteros lost all the rights at that point

    • @horchatatee5407
      @horchatatee5407 4 года назад +33

      More like don't lose an unloyal man because, you know, he's occasionally faithful 🤷‍♀️

    • @Umitskyra
      @Umitskyra 4 года назад +6

      horchata tee this....this is amazing

    • @Umitskyra
      @Umitskyra 4 года назад +7

      Kayla Djeje what even are heteros

    • @noiz1762
      @noiz1762 4 года назад +1

      @@notyourmum7883 yeah they were just rephrasing the original point in a more truthful way

  • @madisonschicker1380
    @madisonschicker1380 4 года назад +1006

    THE ONE THAT SAYS “i’m straight but that’s incredible” IS FROM MY SCHOOL IM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW

    • @Anastasia-my2dz
      @Anastasia-my2dz 4 года назад +24

      Madison Schicker HI MADDY

    • @harrisonburgeron
      @harrisonburgeron 4 года назад +58

      Anastasia McCarthy did I just stumble into something?

    • @suraksha9229
      @suraksha9229 4 года назад +33

      i hope yall called him out for it💀

    • @zmaj12321
      @zmaj12321 4 года назад +2

      honestly it was kind of cute

    • @gav6168
      @gav6168 4 года назад +5

      I'm sorry but that's so funny to me

  • @hilomilo220
    @hilomilo220 4 года назад +378

    my own grandma literally told me “i can’t stand him but i’m too old to get a divorce” about my grandpa. and she like laughed afterward and pretended she was joking but I know she just let that one slip. big ol yikes aha

    • @whytho8856
      @whytho8856 4 года назад +16

      it's really sad because my grandfather married my grandma because he loved her but my grandma literally married him because she thought nobody else would marry her. they fight so often but they never got (and never will) get a divorce because it would go against their religion :T

    • @jellllybean30
      @jellllybean30 4 года назад +6

      why tho? I never thought I’d see someone else talk about their grandparents being in the exact same situation as mine lmfaooo :(

    • @laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587
      @laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587 4 года назад +4

      that's depressing as heeeeeeell

    • @Esodum
      @Esodum 4 года назад +2

      Yeah, same with mine. That's so weird, i'll never really understand

    • @Bighomie39
      @Bighomie39 4 года назад +2

      That's what we call an old married couple my dude

  • @Kira_Yoshikage959
    @Kira_Yoshikage959 Год назад +31

    You know straight tiktok is bad when even straight guy cringes at them

  • @essences2964
    @essences2964 4 года назад +1675

    Your girlfriend turned into a cello? That’s rough buddy

    • @omarsingh5771
      @omarsingh5771 4 года назад +29

      Essence Seabury is this an avatar reference

    • @JM-oi3by
      @JM-oi3by 4 года назад +24

      Has this ever happened to you?

    • @essences2964
      @essences2964 4 года назад +14

      Omar Singh indeed to honor its full return to Netflix on May 15th 😭🙏🏽

    • @laneymae7501
      @laneymae7501 4 года назад +9

      Sounds like mr struggle

    • @coopersmith9367
      @coopersmith9367 4 года назад +8

      Essence Seabury idk cellos are pretty thick that doesn’t sound so bad

  • @steakjoke
    @steakjoke 4 года назад +11930

    I’m glad Kurtis, as a straight guy, recognizes the difference between normal straight folk and. The Straights.

    • @myajanette
      @myajanette 4 года назад +26

      steakjoke yuppppp

    • @Audiophile979
      @Audiophile979 4 года назад +14

      😂😂😂

    • @JJ-jw9ec
      @JJ-jw9ec 4 года назад +285

      I wish more straight people would get that and stop being offended the second we ramble about some straight bullshit.

    • @lemonloop4270
      @lemonloop4270 4 года назад +1

      @@Violent4rain is that ethan lmao

    • @veryconfused967
      @veryconfused967 4 года назад +127

      Yes I hate it when people don’t understand the difference

  • @cecilyerker
    @cecilyerker 4 года назад +12046

    The rave couple, while tacky and corny, was arguably the LEAST problematic couple in this whole video

    • @embrejo2204
      @embrejo2204 4 года назад +691

      Cecily Erker I agree! Like maybe it didn’t have to be shared on the internet, but if it really happened, then that’s good for them (:

    • @weasleynmunatoti
      @weasleynmunatoti 4 года назад +862

      Yeah it's cringy, but doesn't make their relationship seem bad and toxic haha

    • @Dvgteeth
      @Dvgteeth 4 года назад +171

      Just super cringe

    • @pinkblink0211
      @pinkblink0211 4 года назад +210

      idk if it's just me but I really didn't think it was that bad lol

    • @yipeerika
      @yipeerika 4 года назад +267

      It's low-key cute even

  • @The_Top_Hat_2
    @The_Top_Hat_2 6 месяцев назад +8

    as a straight person, i can confirm that we gotta stop
    edit: i am now questioning the first claim

  • @isabellalopezlanze1621
    @isabellalopezlanze1621 4 года назад +1032

    Honestly, you could make a horror movie about that “has this ever happened to you?” loop

    • @nonamejane2572
      @nonamejane2572 4 года назад +19

      It reminds me of an old Adult Swim ad.

    • @bluejay2097
      @bluejay2097 4 года назад +8

      Isabella López Lanze Strong “too many cooks” vibes

    • @nonamejane2572
      @nonamejane2572 4 года назад +4

      @@bluejay2097Yes!!!! Or even the beginning of "Unedited footage of a bear."

    • @angelinaelise7337
      @angelinaelise7337 4 года назад +1

      Already low-key is ngl

  • @inu8122
    @inu8122 4 года назад +2573

    He’s crying bc his girlfriend is forcing him to play canon in d

  • @matilda4664
    @matilda4664 4 года назад +584

    imagine being so insecure about your masculinity that you have to reassure people that you're not gay everytime you say something remotely feminine or emotional

    • @jazirsa
      @jazirsa 4 года назад +54

      grrrr im not g*y 😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬👿 i like opposite gender

    • @casp6132
      @casp6132 4 года назад +2

      It’s sad : (

    • @agentbuddy5914
      @agentbuddy5914 4 года назад

      I mean it kinda depends you cant say bend me over and fuck me in the ass and let me suck even though you are straight. I dont know about you but that sounds a little gay. Also this has nothing to do with masculinity pls stop.

    • @1chigotea97
      @1chigotea97 4 года назад +6

      @@agentbuddy5914 it does dumbass

    • @1chigotea97
      @1chigotea97 4 года назад

      @Ákos Dánffy No but people can be :)

  • @basil_gamin
    @basil_gamin Год назад +17

    As a not straight I am not straight

  • @cb-akp
    @cb-akp 4 года назад +508

    they're putting chemicals in the water to turn the frickin' frogs straight

  • @crelinten9478
    @crelinten9478 4 года назад +1439

    In the words of Danny and Drew:
    "Straight guy white guy."

    • @nurmadihahbintizulkifli1734
      @nurmadihahbintizulkifli1734 4 года назад

      love this

    • @anoushkab1079
      @anoushkab1079 4 года назад +25

      Paul's Broken A Glass what do you mean danny and drew? why did you say the same person’s name twice?

    • @NoName-ll7sl
      @NoName-ll7sl 4 года назад +1

      Love your profile pic💜

    • @regimiro4888
      @regimiro4888 4 года назад +7

      @WilliamE216 What's right with it?

    • @priceyj101
      @priceyj101 4 года назад +6

      @WilliamE216 are u saying not being white is just a feeling lmao

  • @nonbinarygoth
    @nonbinarygoth Год назад +22

    Did my guy just buy a cello for one skit 💀💀💀 as a cellist I think everyone should have a cello

    • @laysthechip3356
      @laysthechip3356 Год назад

      That’s what I was thinkingg, he should give that cello to me instea

    • @whatever-n2j
      @whatever-n2j 9 месяцев назад

      Maybe he or someone that lives with him plays a cello 🧍‍♀️

    • @nonbinarygoth
      @nonbinarygoth 8 месяцев назад

      @@laysthechip3356 you deserve a cello

    • @nonbinarygoth
      @nonbinarygoth 8 месяцев назад

      @@whatever-n2j if he plays the cello imma lose my shit

  • @nedjustned6796
    @nedjustned6796 4 года назад +981

    So we’re just gonna ignore the fact that the cello sketch felt like a fever dream-but he somehow actually made it hilarious and interesting?

    • @artkidnappedme5364
      @artkidnappedme5364 4 года назад +7

      chenn's garden subs I felt like I was on acid again

    • @luckymamaa
      @luckymamaa 4 года назад +5

      Black Knight Fool don’t be dumb, plenty of straight relationships are like that as well. Don’t just single out the bad ones.

    • @barofsope9218
      @barofsope9218 4 года назад +3

      Black Knight Fool as a lesbian myself these truly shocked me, however please understand that not all of us are like this, I’m not trying to take away from those sources but I truly hope that few bad cases will not make you bias against someone over something they cannot control

    • @waningmoons
      @waningmoons 4 года назад +5

      Black Knight Fool do you fart?

  • @juleylikespandas
    @juleylikespandas 4 года назад +25157

    kurtis coming out as a “straight white guy” is so brave 😔✊

    • @cocolime6496
      @cocolime6496 4 года назад +944

      I mean he did essentially break the hearts of half his audience 💔

    • @dickmedownplz1157
      @dickmedownplz1157 4 года назад +431

      @brandon roberts bro leave us alphabet ppl alone we DONT actually hate str8 ppl damn😔✊🏿

    • @drperkyreal4686
      @drperkyreal4686 4 года назад +102

      I am also a straight white guy

    • @sage7296
      @sage7296 4 года назад +142

      @brandon roberts calm down man. i can't recall meeting a fello alphabet person that actually hates yall. that opinion has to be rare

    • @nicholasvillalobos5849
      @nicholasvillalobos5849 4 года назад +16

      Love you bro but IMAGINE if this video was about gay couples 😂😂😂

  • @skyewinder123
    @skyewinder123 4 года назад +1407

    me, closeted in my parents house: ohYES WE STRAIGHTS NEED TO STOP AHAHA

    • @namjoonbrokemysternum
      @namjoonbrokemysternum 4 года назад +11

      Bea Mateo - skyewinder123 I fucking wheezed

    • @marleybayne6233
      @marleybayne6233 4 года назад +9

      I felt that so hard

    • @kingteddy5413
      @kingteddy5413 4 года назад +5

      Yea same

    • @thedailypersonsopinion2099
      @thedailypersonsopinion2099 4 года назад +12

      In my case it’s "AHAHAHAHA COOCHIE GOOD NOM NOM FOOTBAAAAAALL"

    • @Ava-iy1pv
      @Ava-iy1pv 4 года назад +4

      @Max 2 Electric Boogaloo I just read your username and that made me really happy
      Tag 2: Electirc Boogaloo

  • @SKU77_GVTZ
    @SKU77_GVTZ Год назад +53

    as a demisexual trans male, straight white men that aren’t kurtis make me so uncomfortable 😭

    • @smoceany9478
      @smoceany9478 Год назад +28

      man you gotta use commas, i thought you were sayin you were a demisexual trans male straight white men for a second

    • @calix_mayeus
      @calix_mayeus Год назад +6

      @@smoceany9478 you are so funny (im not bein sarcastic i just think ur neat)

    • @SKU77_GVTZ
      @SKU77_GVTZ Год назад +2

      @@smoceany9478 HELPP 💀 my bad bro

    • @altaccount9716
      @altaccount9716 6 месяцев назад +1

      That's just racist. Imagine if somebody said:
      "black people who aren't Will Smith make me so uncomfortable."

    • @SKU77_GVTZ
      @SKU77_GVTZ 6 месяцев назад

      @@altaccount9716 i sniff a straight white offended male

  • @Belelelekake
    @Belelelekake 4 года назад +5939

    “i never asked you to cut your eyes out and sell your leg why would you do that to yourself”
    the girlfriend: ⚫️👄⚫️