THIS is why a Dismissive Avoidant won't CHASE love
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- Опубликовано: 27 июн 2024
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In today's video, Coach Court talks about why a Dismissive Avoidant won't CHASE love.
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Learn more about the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment with this PLAYLIST:
• The Dismissive Avoidan...
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coach court, breakup, ex back, avoidant ex, fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant 
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Video Reference: ruclips.net/video/bRW6Nzv0X98/видео.html
Thank you for such an informative video I finally ended my 5 yrs with a DA I just couldn’t do another year of the disappearing reappearing. I’m now working with a wonderful therapist for myself to heal as well
That’s great to hear! ❤️
@@IamCoachCourt I was reviewing your coaching
Exactly! They run from love, intimacy and commitment and they don’t have partners, they have supplies for attention/validation.
This is true but at the end of the day, love can’t exist with pride. Them being afraid of being vulnerable is also rooted in pride and ego. If they really love you deeply that should break through the attachment style which is ego versus heart based. But if it’s not strong enough love then they’ll stay away and watch you from afar.
Respectfully, I don't think it's fair to say if they loved enough. It's a self love and healing issue, not about a particular person, which is why the pattern happens in multiple relationships
@@aspiringrootwoman24 it’s true it’s a self love issue but there is a certain depth of love that once felt can inspire change in a person to heal, I’m just speaking from experience.
& neither will I. My mental health has been compromised. God Bless him and his endeavors. I will always love him but I love God & myself before & after anybody. God is sending me better.
Same. God bless my DA ex gf. I hope she finds what’s she’s looking for. She couldn’t be vulnerable enough to pursue me after she broke things off (several times), so I need to respect myself and let her be. God will send someone better my way!
They dont want to burden, they don't want to do the work. Why? They restart over and over and over again. They will waste years of your life, then go do the same thing again and again.
He’s a DA and I’m an FA. We would go back and forth to each others for years. Most recently, last month. So toxic. I think it’s finally done now. lol
For myself I have done a lot of thinking about myself. I have realised that the reason I don't love back is that I don't feel that anyone loves me and have felt this way all through my life. Deep down I think my family loves me but I don't think it is important to me, I don't know if my husband loves me or just doesn't want to be on his own/ needs a wife to do the cleaning etc. With my kids it is different, the love just is there and I don't have to work on it. For me the biggest event in my childhood was being sent to boarding school which I feel damaged my view on relationships.
Wow!! I’ve seen that a TON with boarding school evidences. I hope this comment helps people.
@@IamCoachCourt my parents split when I was 7, never even noticed my dad had gone. My mum ran her own businesses and is quite proud of the fact that she went back to work the next day I was born (I am eldest of 3 girls). We had nannies, au pairs, my grandparents lived next door was the most stable relationships I guess and then boarding school aged 11. I got expelled from the first one and it was not discussed! I then ran away from home at 15 and moved in with a 28 year old man. I have done my best to give my own kids a stable normal life but I worry that my relationship with their father is superficial and that this will affect them
It is great that you see and can admit you’re an Avoidant now the question is what are you going to do to start healing. I really hope your working with a licensed therapist to start
Thank you Coach Court ❤
This is the hard truth! Its very hard for me to move in but I have to! Thank you!
@@duoma8630 thanks for commenting 🙏🏾🙏🏾
thanks for ur video. i love ur content its very helpful.
@@priscillarodrigues7599 thank you 🙏🏾
This kind of person isn’t for me 🏃🏽♀️ no thanks
Why did a DA unblock me on social media but never reach out
So, is this why I can't get an answer from my avoidant ex about whether or not it's okay to send him my usual birthday card? I keep him in my prayers and send him a card every year because he has not close family and it's a nice thing, I feel, to do. I will ask him beforehand if it is allright to forward him a card because I don't want to be a disruptive force in his life, but he doesn't answer. He doesn't say, "No, don't send it"; he doesn't say one way or the other. So, I send it. Once, I even got him to say 'thank you'. Meanwhile, there have been several times when he's come by my house and just talked for hours at a time, or came over to fix something simple and spent two days on it. Then, he'll ghost me afterwards. Is all this why he behaves this way? Because his trauma doesn't allow him to move forward or fall back completely?
Run away
I had to laugh because I knew that I wasn't the issue when he ghosted me. He had literally told me that I was perfect the day before and he meant it with so much softness in his voice. Then he stopped talking to me for 7 months. I tell you, perfection will get you dumped every time if your person doesn't trust easily. But we're healing together. I had to accept that fear is real. I'm an Aries. So we just bend things to our will and rarely pre-think or worry about consequences. I've actually had to slow down and accept that hesitancy, forethought and patience are sometimes valid responses to getting what you want. As you can tell from that last sentence, I am far from perfect. Yet, I am perfect for him.
@@HeatherHotcakes Ho`oponopono
@@IamCoachCourt
Yes, my church promotes Ho'oponopono. It is definitely an amazing tool. But as I said, I identify very much as an Aries. Apologizing doesn't come easy because in truth I am never sorry. Everything is in service to God, good and bad, joy and pain, birth and death. I don't subscribe to humanity's interpretation of positive or negative. It's all neutral.
@@HeatherHotcakes Yes! That’s why I study Lao Tzu when I can. Everything just is
@@IamCoachCourt I'm not familiar with Lao Tzu. I will look into it. Thank you.
So, who do these people marry? Are they just roaming through life by themselves unless and until they get some sort of professional help?