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When a Dismissive Avoidant Dumps You and Tips on Healing
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- Опубликовано: 23 июл 2020
- In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin talks about when a dismissive avoidant dumps you and tips on how to heal from the breakup.
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#dismissiveavoidant #coachcourt #breakups #healing #dumpedbyadismissive
I had a 5 month intense relationship with a DA. I dumped her and went back and then she dumped me shortly after. One minute all good next minute dump. When i received the dump text i ghosted her and did not respond. Been 25 days of NC and I am now healed. I'm a AP and the breakup was intense but recovery quick. I've seen suttle signs of interest but I will not reach out. I guess she is starting to process the breakup. I think not responding to the breakup text and ghosting accelerates the breakup stages for a DA. As normally DAs start to process circ 6 to 16 weeks commonly.
Any update?
@@FM-zg5hz She did get back. 3 months seems to be the optimum time. But we have split again. If you want my advice when it gets to breaking up with a DA just forget it. Other attachments types are much better like APs or Secure.
@@brubakerman8717 also broke up with my DA ex. What do you mean by saying when it gets to breaking up with DAs, forget it?
@@komatsu8169 What attachment type are you? IMO once you breakup with a DA it's hard to see any future with them unless they address the reasons why theyre a DA. It's only my opinion. You get much more loving during the first 6 months from an AP or Secure. If you can get past the 6 months ort so with a DA it could work.
@@brubakerman8717 i am an AP, I get why you're saying now. Yes indeed it's true. Although I would've loved to stay with them, I don't see a future with them.
When you get sick of watching youtube videos diagnosing DAs and get on with your own life, you will be free. IMO.
Working towards this now
True
Haha damn !! True .
exactly my situation rn too! its both sad but mostly funny😭😭
When will it be
I was pretty secure and turned anxious and crazy. I hate this feeling. I didn’t listen to my gut at the beginning when I noticed him deactivating -that was my problem.
Amen
Same! I feel devastated 🚩 🚩 🚩
Same here
Me either! Same as you totally secure and confident before I met him, I knew something was wrong after a few months I’m that sad I even asked if he was gay! Very mixed up people but really we should have gone with our gut instead cos we were secure you think at the time we can handle them, iv never ever experienced anxiety didn’t know what it was 😅
Me too 😢
Whoever is reading this, please be aware of these type of people .
One day they will make you feel that you mean everything to them and on the next day you are nothing to them. And the more time passed by, you will begin to ask yourself "Was this all true' ? Plans you had and more .
Just accept their decision and never bother them again.
Thank you
My theory is that these people are hurting but they don't want to fix themselves. They get into relationships because they are insecure and bored.
They are people who think overly highly of themselves
@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 I came to similar conclusion.
i am a dismissive avoidant myself, lol..
What these people do to regular folks should be a crime. They build you up to dump on you. All the time, money and feelings invested……… for nothing.
It scares me how large of a proportion of the population they are. I thought dating was hard enough before I learned that 1/3 are unfeeling emotional zombies.
She did me a favor. I loved her with all my heart. After 5 months, told her I loved her, that’s all it took. Hope she gets help
This was the worst breakup I’ve ever been though. Took months to get over.
Be happy it wasn't a 1.5 years like mine.
Jesus bro. Hope you heal. Someone out there is ready to accept your heart and give you theirs!
I'm sorry. Hear you
Mine was 2 years
After the love bombing I saw a pattern. The DA became distant which made me feel unwanted then go back to normal. I got fed up, blocked him and went NC. He was hurt and remorseful so I ended NC after 3 months. My feelings were no longer the same so we moved on.
Great content. My ex DA shutdown like that after our first disagreement. We were together 7 months, met the family, his daughter, the works. One disagreement and he’s DONE!! At first I was shook but refused to beg and gave him his space. I’m now at a great place and have moved on with the understanding that sometimes there is no rhyme or reason in life. It happened and I learned from it which matters to me...it wasn’t a complete waste! Oh..he did actually reach out and wish me Happy Birthday earlier this month. I was actually surprised since it’s been complete radio silence on both ends. I politely said “thanks!” and kept it moving. Too much going on in this world to stress over something you have zero control of. ✌🏾✌🏾
Great attitude. I have been trying to understand it, and just need to let it go and move on.
Don McClain thanks but believe me it took some time to get to this place of peace. I was confused, hurt and had several nights of crying at first. Being stuck at home because of this pandemic seemed to magnify my pain. He and I used to spend 5 days out of 7 together so the shock of that ending abruptly was a lot! My stomach was in knots at the beginning...I was completely derailed! But...I make a conscious decision to pick myself up and keep going. I’m 45, he’s 42. We are good and grown! I threw myself into ME!! Walking 3 miles most mornings, lost 9 pounds so far and started journaling. I still have my moments but I’m in such a better place right now plus I learned about attachment styles after this happened. I had no idea it even existed so I can take that knowledge to my next relationship. 😊
When you learn that everything happens FOR you and not TO you, you’ve learned how to find gratitude I’m even failed relationships. 🙌🏾
The same happened to me ! met the family, friends, 8months into the relationship, first disagreement and he's gone :(
Not open for discussion or talk at all. It was so brutal
Exactly ..!one disagreement was done for me too..
Broke up after a 16 month situationship because i simply questioned the distancing behavior and voiced my needs. She took it as a personal attack and ended it on the spot. The unwillingness to want to work on what seemed to be fixable issues was mind boggling. She became cold as if i never meant anything to her and walked out of my life. Right now im confused, frustrated and angry, secretly wanting her to reach out and say she recognises her flaws and will work on things but watching all these videos and reading comments makes it seem unlikely. Just coming to terms that it would never work is tough but the only way. So many good memories to try and forget now
And how is 1 year later?
@@haihai5293 so theres been no contact for over a year. Theres still times i really miss her and have contemplated reaching out but then i think she'll not respond or give me a negative response. She was never good at talking on an emotional level so I figure this would be the outcome, sadly. Such a shame, we got on well beside the distancing 😑 the word that has stuck with me this whole time is 'disappointment'
I'm in shock how dang accurate this is. My bf ghosted after 7 months. I was absolutely blindsided. He was saying I love you one day and done the next. After 2 1/2 months I'm doing so much better but it sucks what heartbreak does, you will never be the same person again.
😢
My fiance ghosted me after 3 years and without even a text or nothing he just stopped responding and answering my calls
It turned me to fearful avoidant...even though I broke up with him...sometimes the relationship with them itself is traumatic enough...I felt I was punished for any emotions I show...but there’s always a silver lining to everything and that experience if you allow it...it can be one of the best lessons you’ll ever have..cuz remember da’s aren’t the reason you feel pain your deep wounds are...they just touched them...and you felt it was them who caused the pain..but it was always there waiting to be healed
TOTALLY AGREE...I'm 55 & realising this...its showing me my triggers/wounds still there, but also they need to try & be aware of their own as well as understanding ours...
I really, strongly disagree. Please revisit that statement. I am secure in my attachment style. Granted, it had been a ton of years since I had dated and been in a relationship. However, the only life lesson was becoming aware of the different attachment types. Other than that, I think that it's just horrible how so many people advise 'just be glad you had the experience', or 'be thankful that now you've learned this lesson and use it going forward into future relationship experiences'. Well, that's just pure malarkey. Why? Some folks develop deep wounds FROM that experience, depending on other factors in their life that have absolutely nothing to do with childhood trauma. The trauma from their avoidant relationship causes the hurt that leaves deep wounds in its wake. It can shatter even a secure person, especially those who are older.
@@tammytaylor6239 I can see your point but I believe a securely attached individual will feel less pain breaking up with an avoidant than insecure attachment styles ( both will feel pain but not both will suffer ) because they won’t personalize the behaviors of their partner they won’t make it mean that there’s something wrong with them…so basically reaching the point of being traumatized by the experience is a strong evidence that someone has lost their sense of self in that relationship which is never a wise way to love…and by the way securely attached people rarely end up with avoidants they don’t enter relationships with them in the first place…their favorite attachment style to be with is the anxious..so if someone is attracted to an avoidant in the first place that says a lot about their childhood
We dated for a year when she ended it with a phone call, 8 months of heartbreak for me and we got back together for another 16 months. She is smart, intelligent and I believe mostly a great person but man quite the DA. Dumped me by text, would not meet to discuss things just a series of texts to bring her stuff back and get my stuff out. Seems super cold, but I get she is dealing with the best she has to offer. I feel bad for her because I loved her as unconditionally as possible and feel like she pushed away the love she desperately wanted. It is sad that she always looks for something to be wrong and can’t commit to a “we”. This video has been great for me! Its helped me realize that I really don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t consider the relationship. I am healing, and though the last two months were hell for me since the breakup I am leaving her behind knowing she screwed up bad. Until she does the heavy lifting for her self she will always be like this. Good luck to anyone dealing with the heartache! But we will all heal! Thanks Coach Court! Great video man!
Im in the same boat. Such a similar experience. So wounded
There is no difference with the narcissist. It so painful that I can't even explain.
100% there’s little to no difference in terms of reasoning and just a general extreme lack of decency.
Honestly!! They are literally whole NARCISSISTS. What they do is basically the same as narcissistic abuse
It's toxic af
@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 true
I totally agree.
Exactly what i went through. I felt very secure in the relationship. He talked to me as if we had a future together. Then one day he blocked me, out of the blue. No argument, nothing. Gone. I’m going crazy. The funny thing is he always said that he believes in Karma. Let’s see what Karma is gonna do.
That's awful - hope you're ok
@@seemu2927 I’m great thanks! Realized that I am waay better off without him. His loss.
@@danbie86 how are you coping? It's been 2 months since my DA did the same to me and it's heartbreaking :(
Wow. My DA boyfriend did the same to me. He also used to say something like karma- he said everything is connected to everything else... Any updates ??
@@NM-vs5lg living my best life without him!
This describes my recent relationship to a T. Wish I knew more about attachment styles earlier. After a year of promises about a future, I was tossed aside like an old toy. Wasn’t even given the courtesy of a proper conversation. All I was given was a 14 minute phone conversation on her way from work where she was at a train station with a bunch of noise in the background (classic DA tactics to avoid a hard conversation). When she said she had to leave because her train was coming, I asked if this measly conversation was all I was getting. She said she’d try to call back. She never did. I tried reaching out a few times but never got a proper conversation about what on earth happened. I never understood y some people are afraid of falling in love or commitment. I get it now. No one deserves this kind of pain after falling for someone.
Man. I’m sorry to hear about that bro. I’ll be praying for speedy healing for you. I know it’s tough 🙏🏾
my DA dumped me via text message the day after we decided to give our relationship another try, post two weeks of being ghosted. I feel like I was a worthless piece of trash
Omg thanks for your comment I can so relate. Was dumped 3 months ago in a similar length phone conversation while I was running errands and he was smoking weed and basically hung up on me suddenly with, 'I'm gonna hit the road, take care.' I tried to call back because I was so shocked and just wanted to say that I understood because I knew it would happen inevitably..... Whenever I miss him I think of that discard.
Oh boy….all our experiences are so strikingly similar. Are DA’s part of some secret breakup club where they all follow a set breakup guideline?! But seriously I’m actually quite relieved to see so many others have dealt with what I just personally experienced. Didn’t even know the attachment theory existed until I dated my DA ex. What a mental and emotional roller coaster 🤦♂️
So so true
Ha! That's how we all ended up here, no idea this existed until we were left with RUclips videos on what to do about our insane relationships. DAs are turning everyone onto this.
Seems like they all follow the same pattern, including mine, love bombed me at the first year, talking about future etc and then when I believed him and fell for his BS then started pulling away
Left me an anxious person still in pain after a year of break up
@@sarabonyadi2414 Female DAs are exactly the same.
@@sarabonyadi2414 same to me but I only had 3 normal weeks with my DA before he started to pull away, I was dumped at the 2 months mark.
I was with a DA for nine months. He was cute and funny and we had a great connection. But he 1. refused to label, even though we were monogamous and happy together, and 2. would sabotage moments anytime things were getting too comfortable, too intimate, too loving, too cozy, too real, too safe. And of course I would cry, and I would say "Ok well good luck finding the mythical perfect woman, I'm clearly not her, and I am leaving." And then he'd love bomb and hoover to get me back. Over and over. To the point where the the spontaneity and playfulness was drained away from the connection, and I felt a thread of anxiety and insecurity basically 24/7.
I was beginning to really realize that this was a toxic situation, but I was still just so crazy about him. I wasn't sure what to do. I should have already broken up with him a million times by this point. But DAs often can get anxiously attached when we start to pull away, and then turn on the charm and try to people-please and fawn. So at some point he invited me to go away with him for five days together. So we went on this trip together. I felt like maybe this trip was going to be a turning point, a reset. We were holding hands and going out to romantic dinners, etc. And then on the third evening, suddenly he tells me he's breaking up with me!!! With two more days left to go of this fucking trip, and concert tickets for the final night!
I absolutely Lost. My. Shit. I have never been that angry and hurt in my entire life. I lost my mind. Because every time I tried to break it off on my end, he would beg me to stay. Only to turn around and discard me like a piece of trash.
He rebounded instantly. He actually told me during the break up that he had met a girl at work (who was traveling and actually lives in Taiwan). The avoidant's dream relationship: 90% screen-based., And yet, after all of this insanity and hurt, he was begging me for MONTHS not to walk out of his life! While also saying his "girlfriend" forbade him from ever seeing me again in person, even as friends.
It's been 18 months since that surreal, perverse break up - twice as long as the actual relationship - and I'm still all screwed up inside. I hope for healing. I am now very scared to date.
Sorry to read this that is how they screw with loving people.
Hope you feel a bit better and never ever fall in such a trap again.
Sorry this happened to you. I was discarded too. It was painful, even though I had figured out he was DA and that the discard was coming. What I struggle with now is the fear -- actually terror -- that when I begin dating again I will miss the DA signs and end up with another DA. They are so engaging and smooth in the earliest stages of dating. They fool others easily, even when the other person knows the signs to watch for. I haven't yet figured out how I am going to learn to trust again.
Its always all about them, its never about you, you are a tool for them to distract themselves for a couple months, from the person they dumped right before sucking up to you!!! I found everytime this kinda relationship happens they are using me to move on from "the one that broke their heart" ,which is just the last person they duped and used, they always used "the one" as a shield to keep me at arms length.
You are RIGHT on! When I began talking to mine she said "you make me feel my heart again." She was bored and dormant. Not able to feel because she'd probably distanced and done all of that stuff to the previous partner. Minimized their existence like they do so well. Then she did the same to me eventually. Made me beg practically for her time. Just made me feel like I was the least important. No intimacy emotional or otherwise toward the end. Tough experience. I'm almost 3 weeks no contact and I'm coming to terms with the possibility that I was nothing as she said.
An eternal rebound. That's just what they do on dating apps like Tinder. Since there are a lot of people there, they can do whatever they want and leave for others. Never take responsibility for their own shit. They don't even give themselves time to grieve properly. What astonishes me is that they manage to date the same person for a year and a half, two, five years.
She broke my heart 3 times in 1,5 year. I was secure, confident happy before. Now I'm full of anxiety and really messed up
Hi how is it going now?
@@irfangumelar5404 we came back. And broke up again. Twin flame rollercoaster. Need to heal that spiritually, mental pont of view doesn't work
FACTS
This just happened to me today after being asked for space for an indefinite amount of time where he didn’t want to reach out or talk to me to cool down after an argument we had that he had brought upon us. 4 days went by, nothing. Until something told me I needed to finally reach out and figure out what was going on. The silent treatment will make a sane person insane like you said. I am an Anxious Preoccupied and I’ve never felt more alone and isolated. I was completely blindsided. How can a person profusely sob to you on the phone telling you that you are their soulmate and the love of their life and break up with you at the same time. Absolutely gut-wrenching and sucked the soul out of me. I knew it wasn’t a me problem. But man…it really makes you question your own sanity. Thanks for this video, I needed it. My heart goes out to those who suffer at the hands of people like this.
how are you now, i may have asked on other vids sorry, im going thru a shit time myself atm
@@itsbritneybitch69 Hi!! I saw your other comment. Nothings changed so far, we’re still in no contact. It’s been rough, but I’m healing slowly. Good luck x
Mine just did this to me as well.
Once people get to a certain stage in their healing this video will make so much sense 👌🏼
N. Swordsman That’s ABSOLUTELY the idea. I’ve been bitter, angry, and looking for answers. So I’m glad it resonates with you
securely attached men almost never get dismissed by a dismissive avoidant... but we do dismiss them quite often and for very good reasons. if you leave it up to them, they'll never change and will stay emotionally distance from you forever...and no secure people will let that go on forever. period.
Bullshit
This describes my most recent break up exactly! It is mind boggling to me how someone can change so quickly from treating you like you are the love of their life to being cold and cruel. It was like my ex just flipped a switch one day and became a different person. We were together 1 year, had plans to be engaged and buy a house (he pushed for that, not me!). Then, all of a sudden, around the time of year that he said he would propose, he changed to this cold and cruel person that I didn't even recognize. Is it possible to recognize a DA early in the dating phases to avoid getting involved with them all together? I don't want to waste another year on empty promises.
I've been in exactly the same situation. We was going to move to another town and buy a house and a dog together. He dumped me two weeks before Christmas and 3 weeks before I was meant to hand my notice at work! They change from I love you so much to I never want to see you again with no problems. I couldn't understand as well how can you change your feelings so much in such a short period of time. There is a lot of information on how to spot a dismissive avoidant. I feel like I'm doing a degree in it now only because I don't want to have my heart broken by another one.
So sorry you had to invest and spend that much time with a DA. Truly heartbreaking. I saw the signs 1.5 months in with mine and decided to call her out on her behavior (was actually the second or third time i mentioned her hot and cold actions and changes in communication). She immediately came forward and said she would have kept stringing me along and didn't have genuine feelings and was unsure of her emotional availability. It still hurt like hell, but I'm getting better at noticing these behaviors early and setting hard boundaries. I thought i was healed as an AP... but I guess I have way more work to do. It's a month later and I still miss her and the intensity/infatuation from the first 4 weeks and incredible dates...
The signs would be whether they can openly communicate about their emotions. Do they appear cold? How do you feel during dating- can you get closer on an emotionally intimate level or do you feel that there’s a wall up that you can’t penetrate through? Remember the way they act has nothing to do with you, it’s the way they are & their core wounds of begin emotionally unavailable for themselves and others that link back to their childhood & parents
Today would have been our one year anniversary. She has broken up with me right before every major event. This included, my birthday, as well as 4 trips planned and cancelled this year. We had just booked a trip to Sicily together for the end of May. Now cancelled. What a nightmare. This past year, in my first relationship with a woman, I have been dumped 5 times, ghosted more times than I can count, pushed away, denied love...aka she went to bed with her clothes on! Ive seen her on Tinder ??? looking for someone else?! Unbelieveable. What a messy person.
@@hmanfilms I hear u....going through similar & I'm an anxious also....is devastating I know & still hanging on to what I know is not right/over & no courage to give me answers....its so hard not to believe now that my Kindess, vulnerability, giving, caring etc was mistaken for neediness/insecurities...😔 "Of course they were in the end!!!"
Lost myself & the worst part is having to work together every fkn day!!!
It was a relief for me. I tried so much but she didn't want to see me more than once every 2 months. What bullshit is this.
You just described exactly EXACTLY my ex and how the breakup went! It has been a few months now, I am starting to heal and see things differently. I used to be sane, I didn't understand what the hell happened to me and thought I was the crazy one, not good enough etc. But the issue is with them, and it's funny to see how the tables have turned once you give them NOTHING haha
Did they ever contact you again? I'm almost 3 weeks into no contact and feel like I just got thrown away. No nice things to say at the end. Nothing. It was just cruel.
@@jamesgraves9858 yes a few times actually and he is chasing me now (after 1 year of breakup..). Also he is saying things like 'you know me better then I know myself'. All I was doing is just describing an DA.
I understand your pain... I too got dumped like I was nothing. But you need to outgrow them, love yourself and YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY!!
@@jamesgraves9858 I was also cruelly broken up with by a DA 3 weeks ago. I keep thinking in my head what I would say if he everycomes showing his head around here again. Or I might not say anything at all.
@@roselandpetals it's hard to say what I would say. It is going to be hard to ignore because we have to know it was probably difficult for them to say anything. I think no matter what they say the best thing to say back is "I'm listening." They hurt us. We might have played a part in it but ultimately it was their behavior that drove us to completely lose ourselves. "I'm listening" say I am here and I am waiting to hear something worth my time. Likely what they say initially will not be worth our time lol
@@jamesgraves9858hat's why I said to my DA: you have toxic behavior. She was totally resentful and ended it all in the first disagreement. I thought about contacting her in the third month of no contact, but I don't think I will. Whoever ended it all should get in touch. She ended something that could have been resolved with a conversation. But she got away and threw me out like a trash. I am appalled by the lack of sense of a DA, because ANY problem does not justify treating people like that. One day you are everything, tomorrow you are nothing. How is this possible???! It seems to me that they do this just with whom they like -- am I wrong? Chaos!
Holy shit great content! This just happened to me. 3 months everything great, secure in relationship, met the parents, one talk about her distance and poof done, feelings have totally changed. She acts like nothing happened not sad at all. Never experienced anything like this. It's terrible.
It is terrible for sure
This video makes it easier for me because I realize that I'm not alone in my experience, which you described perfectly. I'm not alone in my pain, nor in the confusion of why it seemed so easy for my ex to leave, never look back (as if I never existed), and feeling like the whole thing meant nothing to her. And I believe the whole experience left me with tendencies of avoidance as well, vowing to never again ignore the red flags in someone and running for the hills each time one pops up.
Thank you fire watching my videos! 🙏🏾
"discarded like trash" is how i felt when my DA ex left me lol
Yeah. They can do that
I think the real question here is, after finding out the truth of who you are dealing with, how do you heal and protect yourself properly in the future.
This has got to be emotional abuse of sorts. The victims are left to heal themselves while the person goes on to never feel a dang thing. How nice it must be to use, abuse, discard and never once feel like you've done anything wrong and feel like you are still the most amazing person in the world and go on to find someone to do it to all over again the next day.
Now that you know better, don't EVER go back because you only have yourself to blame after the first time. You DO feel and you'll continue feeling while they don't feel a damn thing and do it to you as long as you let them.
Man how spot on is this video and all the comments. Love bombing, false promises, planning a future, being obsessed with you, then in the drop of a dime they want NOTHING to do with you and they feel NOTHING for you. SO COLD. I should have seen the signs, every time it was time for a difficult conversation she avoided it like the plague. No communication skills whatsoever and so emotionally unavailable. Told me she wanted a break a day after she told me she loves me.🙃 Gave me every excuse in the book and like all the other times when I attempted to converse with her "sorry gotta go, bye!"
Exactly as you said, and as all people here in the comments experienced. It just hurts, hurts, hurts. I never wanna go through something like that again.
This is so spot on to my situation. We luckily only dated for 2 months but i still fell for her pretty hard. Dumped out of nowhere when things got serious. Hurts like hell but it did make me discover the different attachement styles which im very grateful for.
I wish I had seen this and known more about attachment styles while I was in my last relationship. Watching this makes me feel like I'm reliving the break-up.
You should be starting over 😉
EXACTLY I'M PISS
I have been searching a lot of clips trying to find out how a dismissive feels when they literally abandon you. I am a secure who dated a dismissive who out of the blue just stopped contact and I was blindsided by this. I had never been in such a close relationship with someone who could do this. So for about 4 months I beat myself up, replaying our last encounters, going over things that had been said/promised and probably worst of all just not being able to sleep, as soon as my head touch the pillow I was having a re-run in my head. He contacted me after about 4 months and was quite gentle really, he did explain that it wasn't me, but then walked away again as if i don't matter. Why would he want to come back play with my feelings and go again? I just don't understand. So I decided to put an end to it, I did write him a very positive text of how I had enjoyed the relationship but couldn't be put through the ordeal again (no 3 I might add). I was in control, I ended it - on a good note. I sleep now every night without thinking about his unexplained mistreatment. I hope I never meet another. (I am a female)
I understand what you are going through. I went through almost the exact same thing two months ago. It gets so much easier. I don’t want him back and i never wanna meet another DA. I love my alone time now more than anything. Learning to love myself so that i can walk away when things dont make me happy.
Interesting. Same thing happened to me with a female DA. Still my head is spinning after 4 months. These people are severely damaged. When the masks comes off ( about 3 months after you start a relationship) this is when you see their real face. It is astounding to me how accurate some of these RUclips coach's are to the timeline!
Once you know....you go!!!!!
@@reflectioninthesnow7953 3 months exactly. Until then it was bliss . Never again will I let my emotions build to anyone too soon. Wow what an experience …. Pain like nothing else.
Mine didn't even bother to break up with me. He just ghosted me two months ago. The pain is unimaginable. To realize this person thought I wasn't even worth an, "I'm sorry, I don't think we're compatible" text. Just a 20-second text. It's still hard to breathe after two months.
I am so sorry this happend to you. He was not worth it, trust me.
@@sandrae2319 thank you. I can see that it couldn't have worked with an emotionally unavailable person, but I did love him and I'm so sad that he didn't even bother to say goodbye.
@@jillainenewman1358 I know the feeling, it happend to me aswell, makes you go insane at moments really. But you are right, it cannot work with emotionally unavailable and immature person, if they don’t do the work. It is their burdain to take, not ours. But it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck and it truly is heartbreaking
@@sandrae2319 thank you for sharing your experience with me. It does help.
@@jillainenewman1358 No problem. I wish you happy healing ✨
Yes. It turnt me in an anxious person...but this went away together with the DA!
Very painful and costly experience.
She was the only person where I got an argument with even on things we both agreed!
BTW. This person actually turnt me Into a saint. I really wanted to fullfil her needs, no matter what, and was willing to sacrifice my needs and desires....
Did'nt help much, tho.
I am in no hurry to find a new partner...but If there should ever be someone else, I know what I can bring to the table.
The same time: I wouldn't allow anybody to neglect me like I did.
Omg are you me? 😂 (The turning anxious AND into a saint.) Haha
I have such a strong urge to protest but I know that nothing will make a difference. It's gotta be cold turkey disconnect or I will never heal. I wish it was easier to switch this addiction to something wholesome that benefits me
Yeah. Protesting will just pull you off your center and out of character. It will also push them further away.
@@IamCoachCourt I'm lucky to have people like you to connect and feel understood vs protesting to deaf ears. Before videos like yours, it was hard even with meditation etc.
I had to block him, he couldn't be sure about the relationship but he didn't let me go, the more space I gave him the more he chase and when I responded he went cold AF, I've never met someone as cold as him, and yes, he was 100% comitted the firsts months.
same experience, she was always "uncertain", which made me believe I needed to show her more love, but when I did that it's like it was the perfect reason for her to confirm her "uncertainty", she ran for the hills and cut me off completely. Absolutely destroyed my mental health, how bizarre that someone can be so unaccepting of love.
@@MCC96 "Absolutely destroyed my mental health, how bizarre that someone can be so unaccepting of love." Spot on! Absolutely destroyed my mental health as well. And additionally broke my heart to realize this sickly realization that love is not so innocent, not so pure or simple. And that some people are so fucked up inside that they take a bright, shining, beautiful, innocent love, and just throw it away. Just blows my freaking mind. Has made me terrified to date again. Because now that I know that compatibility, joy, love, sex, strong friendship common interests and time investment can still amount to nothing, I can't unring that bell.
@@violetgc6049 precisely
He used to say, I can walk away from a relationship when they least expected. 🤷🏻♀️😌
I found this website while trying to heal. My ex dumped me out of nowhere, after the night before telling me how much she loves me.
The very first doubt she'd ever had vocalized, it was like talking to a dark cold stranger and before you know it, I was blocked completely. We used to talk about getting through anything together. She was the most loving warm hearted woman I've ever been with she felt safe with. I am absolutely destroyed.
I'm learning she may have been this dismissive avoidant and I'm honestly blindsided hurt, and kicked to the curb like I'm absolutely worthless. I didn't hurt her ever on purpose, I could have been a better boyfriend, but I don't feel like I ever deserved this. This is pure agony. Thanks for this video.
No problem
Just be appreciated the experience
Be happy with the time and experience and most especially the lesson ❤️ he dumped me but i accept it with dignity it crashes me into pieces but it makes me feel good in a way too! Heads up dumpy we will be fine soon 🙏🏻💪
I can't Imagine how to be grateful for being treated with such an emotional violence. Everything they do Is violence and no amount of trauma can justify It. I think they should tell at the First date that they are avoidant. Words can't express the pain they cause and how much they negatively impact your subconscious mind.
I agree 100%
My DA ex broke up with me last week and said he had dreams he had to realize and he couldn't make me happy and do everything he wanted at the same time. He ignored me for a lot weeks, gave me scraps when we weren't together because he had so little time to do everything he wanted and said he wanted to be alone. Less than a week he was on Tinder. Oh well.
😢......learn.....heal......grow 🌱
@@IamCoachCourt Thank you for this video. I just can't comprehend how someone can say that they care for me deeply, express the need for distance, hope that we can keep in touch and maybe meet each other again in the future can turn around like that
They are not acting out of malice I believe...just emotional needs. I feel bad for DAs sometimes when they couldn't accept real long term commitments but instead go for temporal pleasure
i am so sorry for this..:( Sending peace. Did he contact you meanime?
@@rainforestchurch2936 you are absolutely right! Any deep and meaningful relationship they run away from but they loooove “casual”.
I think if you can be secure in living your life, but understand they don't complete you, you complete yourself..
As a avoidant, I have been working on myself.. I appreciate to much independence is bad, but I respect a person who can live their life without needing you there every second or texting.
@Data User 0001 of course.
But too much leaning surely makes co dependency, you can lean to some degree, but still it's not always fair, I do agree to some degree. As I do feel its each individual own..
I know a person who doesn't know the password to turn off the house alarm, so she waits till her husband returns..to me there's lean with respect and there's leeeeaaan hard,without taking accountability.
Personally many people don't resolve inner child work, trauma,etc the dysfunction is there, children come and 2 out of 3 marriages fail, due to not understanding the other, consistency,
I believe everyone is responsible to work on themselves to endure the hard times.
@Data User 0001 I believe logic, rational thinking.
You look scientifically at DNA it has been proven biological genes, show certain people are more in tune with dominant traits,
If you look at personality types of the mbti we all have dominant parts, ennergram this was even conducted from Carl Jung, the secure attachment style is the least out of the four.i so three quaters our avoident, even secure styles have their moments .
I think I will have to agree to disagree
Thank you for your replies.
@Data User 0001 I'm Btitish, but when I was learning to be a counsellor , the statistics showed secure as least and why..and I stand by my theory
I personally believe my tutors would not lie over that.
I will continue to say there is nothing wrong with independence, ,
@Data User 0001 when taking the exam of counselling, attachment styles are huge in this profession.. you are asked a series of questions, so I don't think their information was " mistaken" legal matters begin if incorrect.
For me you are a little , too for ward with your comments and less about thinking them through first.
This is very good, I met a girl when I was 17, we married at 22. Two years in she dumped me for someone else at work. I was crushed for three years. Forty years passed and at 64 we started seeing each other again. I fell deeply in love with her and she was with me. We made plans for the future. Then after 14 months, she texted me to say it was over and can we still be friends. I strongly suspect that she has met someone else again. I am crushed and devasted again at 64. She provided no reason that made any sense. How can women hurt so much without any care.
@@andrewcampbell7702 😕
Im an AP, dated a DA for 6months, I initially broke up with them because i could tell they weren't respecting my boundaries (got mad I wouldnt let them see my phone/go through my phone, was afraid of intimacy, etc) when I did the DA said theyd change, so I gave them a second chance. We felt good, everything felt good, then randomly they text me saying "their done" i was confused because it was so abrupt, when I called 3/4x back to wonder what happened, they sent me a paragraph saying that they dont care about me anymore, and they dont care about me past present prime or future. It truly truly hurt because regardless if you want a breakup or not, you dont speak to someone you "loved" for 6 months like that. Like if I wanted to breakup with someone, id never speak thise things. i could tell how their feelings changed in a day, looking back, they had to have another relationship/person they were interested in, because to just drop someone like that, you were obviously thinking about this for a while. Took me a while to heal as a classic AP would, but learned that its not my fault they didnt want to get there. I realize now, especially with this comment section, DA's are afraid to change. Our relationship was fine and steady, until I started requesting for them to change/become secure.
You can only have a good relationship with intimacy and they're not capable of it
DAs are the most comfortable with being alone, so it's not quite true that they need to have someone else lined up before they leave you. They often do not.
It’s true exactly on point for what happened to me. He had moved on much earlier I just didn’t realised it.
I'm a FA and I was dating a DA. What you're saying is true. I learned a lot about myself. It's been a little over a month and I started feeling the loss a week or so ago. I'd like to reach out but not sure if I should. I feel like I should just be grateful for the time spent and move on but its easier said than done
Antilles86 Reach out after another couple of weeks
@@IamCoachCourt hi thanks for responding. Might send you an email
My husband that I have been with for 9 years just did this. We built a home together 2 years ago, he forced me to sell it, left to be with his ex wife he divorced 15 years ago all over 1 argument! I lost my home, my husband, my dog.. and he’s living with his ex wife. Not to mention left me 1 week before my birthday just to spent $1,000 on her for her bday just a few weeks after mine. It’s been 2 months and he is saying he wants a divorce that we can’t go on. I feel lost but God has a plan so I’m trusting in Him!
God I hope you ll get better this is horrible. Do you think now it's a blessing in disguise knowing what he s capable of?
OMg that's an absolute nightmare. How are you coping? How are you today?
I found you on Twitter and now here on RUclips. I'm now very happily married but I had a bad breakup in early adulthood that has always haunted me. I'm a stable type, but yes this relationship and it's demise has always haunted me. Thanks for sharing your knowledge 🙏
Thanks for supporting my teachings Elizabeth!
@@IamCoachCourt you've given me a lot of peace after DECADES of angst!
@@elizabethbc8293 I’m just the mouthpiece for DECADES long information. 🙌🏾
Had the best first date of my life, both enjoyed ourselves, great chemistry, really thought she was the one. The next day I got an essay about how great I was and how much she loves talking to me, how attracted she is to me, BUT how it didn't feel right and she cut it off like that, so cold and abrupt. Bizzare.
He persue until the end but was sending mixed signals. He told me 2 weeks ago all the things that bother him from me.I am grateful, I learned a lot and I know this is for the best...we were going no where. However, I don't know if I should block him.
Should be called the Time Wasting non-attachment style
I was discarded by her. I have done work and i feel so, so, so, so, so much better that i can't even descrive. The best decision ever was to left her. I feel like i lost so many Kilos from my back. I can again breath.
I just got married ton DA been only married 5 months , 1 fight snowballed into a devorse how crazy is that?
That’s crazy! Sorry to hear this and I thought this avoidant nonsense would subside if a couple made it to marriage.
Recently connected with someone I found out was a DA, after a single big disagreement, I was ghosted n blocked on social media. Not gonna lie this hurt something fierce, esp because of the plans that were once made... after having dealt with a narcissistic ex, this felt like being stabbed in the exact same place but being told not to worry about it or judge them too harshly. Obviously I'm still in the anger phase...
I see DAs like Zombies. You should run away as soon as you see them from far if you dont wanna get one of them...
Do they every regret or feel bad about their decision to dump someone? Thats the part I have a hard time accepting. Like what we had didnt matter.
I agree with you 100 percent man
So you have a human need to feel significant? Where does that come from and why is it one of your driving needs?
@@IamCoachCourt Because I cared about this person. We were planning on getting married. We had plans, and they threw them away in a minute, and did not look back. What kind of person does that? Isn't that also a narcissist?
@@DonMcClain2015 I dunno if it gonna make you feel any better but I can tell you as an avoidant myself, I have been engaged 3 times and ran off as well. The difference with narcissism is that the reason for our fleeing is being scared as hell and overwhelmed with fear that when that fight or flight response kicks in, we're gone. I know the outcome is the same to you cause you been left high and dry but it's not to cause you any pain it's literally fear. If you can somehow can calm your partner down and make it feel safe it's possible to get this back on track but it's gonna take patience and really above all, a welcoming safe environment. This type of behaviour will be something ingrained since years and maybe you can get help together if it's not too late.
@@MsMaasi Thank you so much for the explanation. She has already moved on with other guys and is hooking up with them. Too much damage is done. I need to just let it go. I saw her this week on two dating sites, so she is very active already. She left me for someone and has already ended that. We broke up about 6 weeks ago. I need to move on. Its heartbreaking and I did not see it coming. She is severe DA, among other things. Life is too short, and there are many potential partners out there who would be appreciative. I need to learn how to spot attachment styles and I am doing that.
Thanks again!
Your explanation of this dynamic sounded exactly like my experience. Thank you for helping me understand this a bit better.
Thanks for commenting Doug!
Painful? Oh! Yes!! What's worse is he went back to his abusive wife that he is Trauma bonded with. Crazy!!!
Wonderful. How comforting to hear this is a thing, I know they care, but just can’t go forward.
Hey coach court,
Can you help me understand why DA’s drop everything after one disagreement and then go find a rebound to heal their discomfort? I’m having trouble accepting why things are happening the way they are. We had such a fun relationship and after one sucky fight we broke up. He is hanging around a girl that I was weary about from the start of our relationship. I think he is trying to cope. I am heart broken and don’t understand why he just stopped caring!
Same. They all have the same pattern. They are lowkey narcissists tbh, so even though it hurts just cut contact
@@nadinegomez8858 their behaviors look narcissistic but they lack the rage. The underlying cause of these behaviors doesn't create a dangerous person. DAs aren't dangerous beyond of course they're gonna break your heart. But you won't be robbed, manipulated, stalked, have your reputation attacked, or be triangulated by a DA. You won't be attacked. Please increase awareness around narcissism. Calling DA behaviors narcissistic really trivializes the horror that people go through with actual narcissists. And mistaking the two causes people to make excuses for partners they think are DA when they're actually putting themselves in danger by finding reasons to be compassionate for a person who's actually a narcissist
I am thankful for the time they gave me. Thank you for reminding me of that Coach Court!
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
You're right, that's exactly what happened to me. When you have a really good relationship, we treated eachother with respect, never cursed or yelled at eachother, then after 2 years in, he said "I can't give you more" ???? WHAT ???? Then I found out there was another woman involved (3rd party) that really stung me 😢😢😢. 1 year never heard from him since 😢😢. They say "REBOUNDS" never work out ??? Apparently not in my case. Please help me figure out what may have caused him to move on to someone else and so "QUICKLY" ???? Don't get it ??? Trust me, in appearance I am really pretty ??? Go figure. Difference, she has money??? Please help me. Thank you !! 💙💙
Your situation sounds similar to mine. DAs are very hard to explain. They want space and when you give it to them they use that time to lust over other women. If you dont give them space, they say you are smothering them and its not working out. What ive learned is, with a DA there is nothing that you can do but be yourself. Nothing will ever be good enough because they are in a battle with themself. They have to figure out what they want based on what you offer them. I gave 100% of myself to my last relationship and it wasnt good enough for him in the long run. He talked about me being the person he ultimately settled down with but that changed out of nowhere. DAs are people who are interested in the idea of love but they dont know how to handle it. When love is at their door, it scares them because that feeling of love is associated with pain. When me and my ex broke up he was shocked i wasnt mean to him. It was actually pretty sad because he didnt think that someone could love him and maintain a healthy relationship with him until the very end. Hope your situation gets better! Life works itself out.
There are times where rebounds do work out, but most of the time it’s toxic before 2 years.
For coaching, email me: Courtney@fruitfulseedz.com
Beautiful insight!
@@New-jb1tc 100%
Friends say move on, family says give him space and time.
Space and time!!! 💥
Coach, please make a video on how an Anxious can get back their Dissmissive Avoidant ex....pleaseeeeeee.
Getting a dismissive avoidant back!
ruclips.net/video/EKBnF4sgp30/видео.html
Don’t!!! 💯
I’m dating on DA AF who’s acting very distant again like on foot out one in . His just driving me nuts and my friend already tell me what you said . 4 years wasted on my life
I was in the relationship with a DA.
I asked for closure after a breakup. He said he’s done and doesn’t care about me anymore, nothing to talk about.
It took me a lot of time to believe it. He called me a ‘crazy stupid bitch’ eventually for being ‘delusional’. Well, kinda reasonable, 1 month after a breakup I called to ask for closure, an open face-to-fade talk, so I called him 14 times in 2 days, send a few long texts and uh showed up at their dorm…
It looks so stupid and I don’t understand how this happened. He has a bunch of exes tho, and I’m not the first one to react so. Such a weird experience, still confused how I ended up like that.
DAs will drive you crazy if you don't know about attachment styles.
Don't judge yourself. For you it must have been very surreal and painful
I’m AP and I dumped DA myself lol. He started all this hot and cold shit and got the boot from me. Byeeee
Omg this is exactly precisely what I experienced!
Thanks David!
Needed this. Have a lover recently who ghosted me and this fits. Thanks for making this video
You’re very welcome!
Spot on - very helpful!! Thank you CC
I am an AP and it is easy for me criticize, something DA' are very sensitive to I've learned. I feel like my ex's avoidant behaviors has triggered my anxiety, but is it possible that my anxious behaviors and craving for love has triggered him and made him more avoidant? For some reason I feel like we had these wounds (that we were partially unaware of when we met) and due to inability to self-sooth etc, we have - i don't wanna say made each-other worse - but for sure unveiled and revealed these trauma responses.
I know what you mean. I was in a similar situation. I've been in an intensive therapy after the breakup trying to heal my attachment wounds. I feel better but it's still very hard to get over this person
I think most DAs are placed on the planet to teach APs a lesson if they are able to learn it. And what a bitter lesson it is, ha!
Oh my god thank you for this post. Omg God bless you. After 2 breakups and thinking I was still with him loosely he then texts me that he has a girlfriend now. Wut??????
She told me she has no feelings for me. Doesn't want to date because I'm not her boyfriend. Later tells me she wants to be just friends. Starts giving me a list of things she wants me to purchase. And tells me we can go to dinner , movies and walks. What's up?
Thank you, this helps to make sense of it all.
Good video.Nice reminder.
Bro, I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
🙏🏾
I was AP, after dating DA I felt like I become the DA myself. It's been 3 months no contact and my DA still is silent. I feel like I can be secure attached with someone who won't dump me out of nowhere. So let's what will happen next😊
I needed to hear this today. Thank you!
You are so welcome!
Excellent video!! Thanks Coach! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lol. I opened this hoping it would make me understand my DA ex better, only to get schooled on facing my own codependency and addiction. Thank you.
Idk if this is sarcasm 😅
@@IamCoachCourt Haha it was a genuine thank you! I got kicked back in the right direction real quick. As a codependent AP, it's really easy to try to focus on my ex instead of my own healing journey.
Thank you for this video.
I needed this video so much! Thank you!!
Thanks for watching! 🙏🏾
Emotional and psychological abuse is something I refuse to be grateful for!
Right??? F*ck that! This was abuse. Only thing I am grateful for is that I woke up to this type of person and I will undertand the red flags moving forward. Assuming I ever have the courage to date again. Because I am terrified to date now. So grateful! Yay!
I needed to hear this, thank you. ❤️
I believe my DA is also a narcissist NPD. Went through love bomb devalue and discard just after 2 months. It came out of nowhere. The closer we got he would pull away I’d get anxious. Want to talk about it to be reassured. One night after going over a trip that we were gonna take5 months in the future. Looking at pictures and talking about where we would go. He turned on a dime and broke our relationship. I have never seen anyone disassociate and then freeze and go so cold!
I even said you look so cold.
It was the most shocking and stabbing thing all at the same time. He pushed my triggers and I really pushed his.
Thing is we really got along so well for days and then he’d start pushing away
I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life.
I didn’t know about attachment styles until this happened.
So interesting.
It’s possible
These people are real life monsters.
So were the characters on Monsters INC., but they turned out to be pretty lovable ☺️
this is so healing thank you
Thank you for watching my content Rebecca. You’re very welcomed here!
This one damn near made me cry
Man. Sorry to hear that
Can a DA help me understand something here? Do you think the amount of running away depends on how deep the love is? Or does it depend on how conflictive a relationship is getting? Today was my official breakup with a DA, we had already decided a week ago but he wanted to have a nicer conversation so we had it today, it was sort of mutual but we tried to end it amicably since we do care a lot about each other. He told me that he felt like having this peaceful conversation was a huge advance for him because he always used to run away and ghosted people and just plain disappeared. I was wondering, why didn't he disappear? Is it because he cares a lot about me or because he feels safe and not invested? I don't get DAs. ://
Its always all about him, its never about you,you are a tool for them to distract themselves for a couple months, from the person they dumped right before suckibg up to you!!!
You're right. Now coming back to this, 3 years later, wow, I realize in retrospective how incredibly unavailable he was at the end of it all and we even tried having a new conversation some months after that and he never contacted me for it. The guy now has a kid and is married, I still have no idea how they manage to get through the hard stuff...Maybe they ended up more invested in the current partner than they were ever with me who knows, but I know I was pretty confrontational and the guy did like me, still, I have no idea how recognize whether its about not being into me or just avoidance. It helps in knowing how to handle it. Anyways. Good luck to him, to you, and to us all in finding good love.
I made a HUGE mistake and got mine hired on with me, dude literally tried to make me jealous today :p fact is I was married to a narcissist, and got really good at gray rock
Right on the money Court. Thanks
Thanks man!
My DA always comes back. Hard to let go of him. I wish I could just let go. I am the one person that brings out his true self and lets his walls down. This has been going on for 14 years. How do I break this cycle?
go to therapy - if possible both of you go
Whats the longest he left you before coming back.
"I am the one person that brings out his true self and lets his walls down. " That is straight-up codependency. You got sucked into that DA trap...leave him, he will destroy you.
Get him to work on himself through therapy or online resources. If he doesn't work on himself, let him go and move on. There is no other way.
So Coach, you offered 0 HOPE here of getting a DA back!!
No words - not ok to not look at both sides
Try a newer video, but I don’t deal hope.
Uhh...just found out my ex is a an avoidant. Had a couple of breakups we were SOLID! i never felt soo secure. We had great communication, fun, intimacy. He had told me his goals, what he wanted, and we had a great partnership. One day when i was waiting for him to show up for our date, i get the call "i dont see a future with you"
As a recovering anxious, i actually just tried to listen to his needs...here comes the classic traits: he expected me to read his mind eventhough we had committed to talking about our issues, blamed me because he told me he wanted to start saving to buy a home, told me he didn't want to travel after we had a agreed to budget for it, called me condescending for asking clarify questions, held a grudge against me for bringing up my degree (he has a more prestigious degree than i do mind you).... and then the kicker - emotional manipulation via stonewalling.
Even my therapist said our relationship was actually how he has taught couples to communicate.
But because of my previous experiences with being anxious, i never asked to talked, sent a few messages communicating my feelings....and have to just keep it moving. I realized that he is always going to have an idealization of what a "perfect" relationship will be, and he has absolutely no problems crushing people if they dare make him feel like is isnt right 100% of the time (especially when he is dead wrong)
I love him, but i love myself more. I hope he goes to therapy and gets the help he needs so we can continue to build our healthy relationship. But i wont clean up his mess for him.
6 mos is tops for a DA.
DA’s love bomb? How common is this?
I have been friend with a DA for now 3 years, we both have strong chemistry. Last time I talk to him was 6months ago, I was calling him few times and he kept ignoring my calls. I have now decided that my connection with him is only one sided, and I am trying to move on. Is not an easy process for me. I saw him going around my workplace, checking my social media. Does that mean he is trying passively to find a way to reconnect or should I break the ice and call him?
What does "friend" mean here?
He wanted to be friends after. So he didn’t completely deactivate - I asked to be intimate and pause our dating profiles. Then was friendzoned. It hurt me. Currently in NC
What if the dismissive avoidant that breaks up with you is your mother. I did not choose her. She was the one who chose to have a child.
😢
My brother you basically just described what happened to me. Dated this teacher and in the beginning she was love bombing me and telling me she wants to show me how different she is compared to every other woman. She would say she is grateful for me and tell me she adores me and more than likes me. We did have some initial issues where I felt she would be a little rude and tended to interrupt me I was talking. I would say hey that’s rude or whatnot. She then would go into this ultra dramatic mode and cry. I’d be like wtf.
Anyways we went on a weekend trip and we had an amazing time and I remember laying with her and telling her how I felt about her and my feelings were strong. After that when we got back I felt the pulling away and the whole change in attitude. I felt like I had to chase her and she stopped calling me like she used to. She sounded irritated anytime I would be like hey is everything ok or why does it feel weird now?
Anyways after a week we met up at a diner and she cut me off again and was rude and disrespectful and I said listen I don’t know what your issue is but this is messed up. I got up and walked away and she follows me and we argue and another week went by with no contact and she messages me and is like I miss you. I said me too. We hung out two weeks ago at the museum and it was awkward and she was like we just have to ease into it and whatnot. I felt like we were doing well and then again she pulls away the next few days and I said listen idk man. This is just so weird. I told her that I felt like I had fallen in love with her and then things got so weird and shit. I said these arguments suck but at the same time I feel like you’re not seeing where I’m coming from. Boom…she texts me and is like well you said a lot and I see this isn’t going to work. Then im like wtf? I call her and she doesn’t pick up and she’s like I don’t wanna talk right now. She gets angry and is like maybe we can talk tomorrow. I said let’s just talk like two adults. She said no. I said how can you send me all this through text? She’s like how can you say all this through text? I said ok whatever. Whenever you’re ready to be loved and cared for let me know.
That’s it. Been a week and nothing. I won’t message her.