An Avoidant FEELS THIS when they realize they've lost you
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
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In today's video, Coach Court talks about An Avoidant FEELS THIS when they realize they've lost you
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Learn more about the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment with this PLAYLIST:
• The Dismissive Avoidan...
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coach court, breakup, ex back, avoidant ex, fearful avoidant, mental health 
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Avoidants punish you for loving them, it’s truly a losing game.
And it hurts so much... I just discovered what happened and I was so lost.. i couldn't get why she would be so distant and mean when I was getting so close to her, but now I understand and I feel already better.
The reality is they are hurting themselves as well, but that dawn's on them later.
Gosh that’s the most painful explanation but it’s so true
@@jlady1595 I will feel empty for a long time...
@@zainventuri7881I read about that. Usually 4-6 weeks.. well.. :(
Losing them hurt, no question. But when you get on the other side of that pain, you will understand and see what you were losing and it wasn't them at all. it was losing yourself to the facade they call a relationship.
this is the core wound of avoidants. they do not know how to have a healthy interdependence, typically because they attract codependent people. People in healthy relationships don't "lose themselves" -- what a cynical outlook
They feel nothing. By the time they care they’re in the process of abandoning the third person after you. They’re sociopaths.
I can’t disagree with this. Long term relationship and DA basically cut me off and ran. No idea why, she would not tell me. Thought we would be married, Ha! It had been 18 months of no contact. Then she sent me a birthday card, but won’t talk or respond. So weird. DAs are nut cases , don’t bother with them, they will eventually destroy you.
An avoidant will bring all of their past relationships into your current relationship
Every insecure attachment will
@@IamCoachCourt this is my ex to a tee. I’ve never brought past relationships into my current one. Guess I’m more secure…
Yep, he wouldn't put his ex GF in the rearview mirror. She was like the invisible 3rd party in our relationship most of the 2 years.
Who cares, it is the best day of your life, get the help for you move forward be happy!
How do you know you need help if it wasn't for videos like these?
I'm a secure attachment person who talked to multiple times then distanced myself from someone I considered borderline avoidant. I hope the Universe carries him the rest of his healing journey.
It’s an unsafe relationship! Run
It is very sad that they have to lose you to realize your value to them. What a regret. As an old person, I'm happy to have no regrets. I gave our relationship my all. I am healing and moving forward, but sometimes I think of the good times we had. Sad.😢
@@Flufero23 dont see yourself as an old person 🤗
Loyalty and Respect goes a long way. That it that's all.
It's been a month of no contact & I know he has regrets. I started therapy/counseling 5 months ago. I'm moving forward with understanding. No second chances. This relationship was harder than my long term relationships when I was younger. Even my 7 year marriage in my 20's.
I've grown, I'm happier alone. I'm going to take a year off from dating again. I have home projects and my pets to keep me busy.
Exactly, it is not our job. Even though we probably worked like it was for 2+ years. After this last time, I just felt free (like what about Bob movie when Dr Marvin yells, I’m free). Do not let anyone suck the life out of you ❤
I LOVE WHAT ABOUT BOB!
I think my ex DA jumped into a new relationship right away so I doubt he will realize anything.
Same I don’t think a da that moves on that fast won’t care at all or feel it
Only when they break up that person, they'll think of you.
It will be too late@shawny979
If you think that your DA is a Da jumping into another relationship immediately; I hate to tell you, but your DA is really a narcissist.
I truly love how u explained this matter without it being long drawn out just accurate straight too the point and meaningful. Thank u because this summed up my ex to the core. He is all of the above I don’t hate him in actual fact I forgive him for his behaviour because he is hurting more than me deep down, when he got so close to me I could see him backing away through fear and I cannot keep nurturing and reassuring someone I was starting to question me and losing my self worth so I am glad for the outcome although it hurt like hell.
Thanks for the comment. Your time is valuable so I try to respect it! 🙏🏾
@@IamCoachCourt your very welcome thank u for your insight. Keep up the good work u have gained a subscriber. God bless you 🙏🏾
@@rosemarielawrence-ed5jz thank you Rosemarie ❤️
Only an Avoidant can truly tell you what an Avoidant feels at any time
I guess if they are actually a dismissive avoidant....HOWEVER, there is an extremely thin line between this particular attachment style and dark triad personality traits....AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM 🎯🎯🎯🎯
@@shereses.3298 totally 💯💯💯 I love this take
No they can’t, because they have no idea how they really feel. I mean, that’s what it means to be avoidant. They avoid reality entirely, including their feelings.
@@katieandnick4113totally not true
Thank you for your videos! You have a beautiful, gentle way of describing the situation that invites kindness for both people involved. Thank you!
@@vaniafrankhealer thank you for commenting ❤️
This is so true!
I so needed this 💔🤦🏽♀️
Then don’t start a relationship, you’re responsible for your behavior. You know how you are so that ,Akers you guilty and irresponsible when you fake and rip someone’s heart to pieces. Plain and simple take accountability
Loyalty and Respect goes a long way. That it that's all.
my ex has always compared my trauma with her trauma and i always asked her too stop but she couldnt
I am not her savior.
what happens if they swallow pride and admit all the thing you mentioned to the person and make real effort to try and heal even If share it scared them etc. I find this all so fascinating
It's so hurtful...but how will the ever realize if they jumped into another relationship. I caught my ex 2weeks after our breakup with another woman. Now people see him around his city with someone else. I miss and love him so much. We did everything together. I chased him wanting an explanation until the day I saw him with someone and haven't spoke to him since. He was embarrassed that I saw him because of who he was with and he said things to try to hurt me...but couldn't. I was more embarrassed than anything.
Crazy my ex told that to her dad that she never gave herself completely to me. And by the time she decided to the relationship was sh$%.
Hell yeah dude 4:20 😎
😂I realized that after I rendered it lol
Can i please request a video focussing on avoidant relatives. My brother is avoidant and he does cycles of runner then chaser as my friend. I wonder is thete a different approach as im just wanting a nice stable consistant relationship. At the moment i literally just always let him contact me first unless there's a practicle reason to message.
This is a great request
Whats your point in dwelling in such negativity? Such victim mentality. Omg. We are the creators of our own reality so if this is your truth that is what you get😅
We ARE creators! My affirmation videos are positive!
@@IamCoachCourtcalling someone avoidant is printing that meaning into the situation. Focus should be on yourself. This video is still very much ego- level stuff focusing on things like ’revenge’, feeling better (emotion), getting soothed(again emotion), thinking ’avoidant’ is wrong- doing and will regret which again lifts your ego and is supposed to ease your fears.
That only works if you have nobody in your life who depends on you. When you have people in your life who need you, it’s vital that you are tuned into objective(shared) reality. I think so many people nowadays are avoiding serious relationships because they can’t do this. Particularly with smartphones, it’s so easy to get stuck in your own world, but it’s incredibly unhealthy.
@@Ksundts click off then
@@rhighan4357says your ego😊