5 Signs it's time to WALK AWAY from a Dismissive Avoidant
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
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In today's video, Coach Court gives 5 Signs it's time to WALK AWAY from a Dismissive Avoidant
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Learn more about the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment with this PLAYLIST:
• The Dismissive Avoidan...
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coach court, breakup, ex back, avoidant ex, fearful avoidant, mental health 
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Just went thru this, it’s painful when you love and care for them but I can’t take the emotional roller coaster. Walk away!
My last date with my avoidant was last week and tomorrow is his birthday and after I text him Happy Birthday then I will
Walk away 😭😭
@@Nami66148how are you feeling now?
@@philipsparks6089 I’m good I said will just do it and move on and I’m fine. I didn’t want to have any regrets of wondering should I have wished him a great day ? I feel better that I did send him a birthday wish and he replied back with a thank you and that was enough for me
Here because I really need to let go even tho they discarded ME. I absolutely love them and wish them well, but they will never respect me, they will never value me or choose me ✌🏻
I’m with an DA and it’s hard!! I understood in the beginning and tried to be patient, at first we only saw each other once a week he told I could come by his house anytime (we live five minutes away from each other) but I didn’t want to intrude I wanted him to call me and say he missed me.. mind you we’ve have some great times! But every time I voice my concerns he shuts me down, it’s like he make all the rules in this relationship, i don’t ask him for anything but time and it’s like asking him for a billion dollars 😒 I’m at the end of this but it’s hard to let go
I have tried to talk away, but 3 days later he started messaging me again and its so hard. I care for him so much and its hard knowing someone cares, but isnt willing to give into their emotions
why not leave?
Wash out your bang box, and try to pretend you didnt lose value.
Same for me. It's an LDR. All I want is her time for conversation. She puts no effort into it even though she KNOWS our love has not strengthened as much because of a lack of communication. I am available to talk any time. Nothing is stopping her except her.
I have been with him 2 years invested everything time, love, financial help but their was no commitment from his end, his priority was eveyone apart for me, so I walked away 5 days ago, it hurts like hell but I know it’s the best for me in the long run..
Same situation here….getting a little better every day. 💔🍀
How are both of you all feeling? I have tried and tried and tried to invite him to things, communicate, show him hes cared for.. and only after 2 months. Its so painful when he wont reciprocate what im investing
be strong ur smart
Same here.. 2 years and 4 months.
Yes they string you along for years, living double life’s behind your back.
my mental health was affected crying and negative energy he activated my nervous system....never again
Sorry to hear that
Exactly. It definitely triggers my abandonment wounds.
I really appreciate the way you did this video, it's short, to the point, but super relevant. I've finally hit the point where I'm taking steps to walk away after two excruciatingly long years of being blocked and avoided and accused while any time I point out anything I get shut down. I've tried to make excuses for him, blame it on external factors, but he proves over and over again, he's just not willing to have a relationship with me. Things have been said that I'm just not sure how I could ever overlook or take a chance on trusting him again, esp since I have a kid. I've figured out the dance ... how he dances around every issue we have that is could be resolved for us to have a better relationship, but that would require him to change/be accountable/be honest ... the point where when he's accused me of things and I've stood up for myself, proved otherwise but I literally just get silenced/stonewalled after I've expressed my needs, how I hate being ignored, that I don't want someone who's going to be in and out of my life, etc. until I have no idea why I am fighting for a person that only wants to push me away, that can't reciprocate the love I'm giving. That's insanity. Recognized. When I'm spending more time on fighting for him than I am for myself or my kid, losing myself trying to watch videos like this, journaling, crying, getting angry, driving myself crazy, getting out of character. I realize it's not worth it. I'm not saying I've done everything right, but I shouldn't have to do everything right to be loved and that's how these guys always make me feel. It's performance based "love" and hypocritical. That point when I know he's given way more for other women who used him and will do it for another woman, but he won't do it for me, even though I'd actually give him everything he's actually looking for. I think I've got to the point where I realize either a man is for you or he's not. There doesn't have to be a ryhme or reason, he's just not going to see you as valuable (until after you've left and he can never get back you back). Time to say deuces!
I wish I could send this video to my avoidant BF. These are exactly the things he has been doing. He's already refused to get any kind of help for himself. I've gotten pretty depressed. It's true he knows exactly what my needs are in the relationship and chooses or is incapable of doing any of it. I love him and it is going to hurt to walk away.
Thanks so much. That was really helpful. My best friend is my dismissive avoidant and I just stepped back after decades of "trying". We hav eboth been avoidants; me, an fearful avoidant, her; a dismissive avoidant You totally explained why I needed to give up. I'm grieving and healing... Much Love.
Actually, it's usually an Avoidant and an Anxious as it forms the famous Avoidant and Anxious trap.
My pseudo-boyfriend is a DA. His autonomy is the most important thing in the whole world to him no matter what it costs loved ones and friends. Apparently he doesn’t mind being vulnerable because he’s always asking for money.
All these fancy names. These people are juat wicked.
😂😂😂😂😂
nah...
2 yrs on and off rollercoaster mostly based on lying cheating manipulation...he went on vacay w an ex while he was w me..i was trauma bonded and knocked him off a pedestal ...i just want to ghost and never see him again...theres nothing good abt him...goodbye tt all the best....i deserve better i deserve respect love and trust
@@EternalLove.1111 that’s not ok
Just block block!
My ex is an DA, I am struggling with truly letting him go. We love each other. He has improved in some areas like communication but we spend less time together. Idk how we can get back on track.
You can’t ever! With Avoidants it never works
🤝🏼🤝🏾
Call them what they are, a narcissist, end of story.
That was fantastic! Thank you. I’m in no contact You just helped Me make the right decision if they come back!
Hi Coach Court! My goodness has this been exactly my experience! It’s validating to hear. The process of walking away from the DA is one of mixed emotions. I am becoming the person I always needed by giving myself the energy and love I outsourced to unavailability dynamics. I’m asking myself more empowering questions now like what does my heart want to create today? Or what is my heart needing today? Having my own presence for my feelings of pain and for my dreams is bringing in more experiences of presence and creativity.❤️❤️ When I decide not to entertain the avoidant, I can streamline my energy to actual reciprocal and fruitful use of my life energy.
The slow fade and aftermath is one of the worse experience you will go through, let go of the hope of them coming back, once you can do that, you can start healing and move on! Know your worth!
3 strikes you're out
⚾️
I let her foul off about 40 pitches
Hes cancelled on me twice.. ghosted me for 21 hours once.. next time something like this happens with no apparent reason, im out. I cant handle the emotional rollercoaster
This totally described my relationship with my recent ex.
valid points - thank you for sharing the check list of dealing with the DA!!
So true for 2 years that was my relationship with a girl had to leave and be free of it
Yeah dude. He just broke up with me for the 3rd time. 4 years. Unreal. I thought this 3rd round was the one for real. Our next step was living together. That’s when it all fell apart. And now here I am again, broken. All over again.
He told me he doesn’t want anyones help or be vulnerable. Period! And thats No relationship bc he cant even talk about the weather and we are long distance! Anyway! What a joke. He said this is who I am and he is not willing to work on it 😅😅😅
Thank you for talking about when to leave a DA. Just about everything else out there about them talks about how we should twist ourselves into knots trying to make them happy and stay in something that isn't healthy.
In my LDR with a DA, I've explained how so much silence by her bothers me. No matter how clear I was about it, she has become much more silent. As if she isn't concerned how I feel. More & more, I feel like I don't even exist to her. I have not reached out to her for 2 weeks & do not plan to soon. Online, she said 5 words in 4 weeks. Online is our only venue for conversation & I do most of the talking while I get vague answers / small talk. Only time I see her online, lately, is if she posts on X.
Yes it's painful going through this phase.... She was an avoidant was divorced and had a daughter i tried everything to let her know how to heal herself but instead of listening she cheated twice by lying and hiding her Male friends and doing social media stuff. I detached myself from her and I'm realizing it's peaceful.
Just realized I'm 5 for 5 today. Do they ever ask for your help??
Thank you 🌷
Why cant they just speak up?
Do these DA change for others? I find it hard to emotionally let go for fear that he’ll be happier with someone else because I lean more AA.
You know they won't based on study it's a pattern it may last for a moment but when that person needs more what do you think will happen. They will leave or the other person will.
They are cowards so they do all that stuff so you will leave, although they say they want to be with you and REFUSE to cut ties with you even when all the signs are there! Smh!
Guys I need advice. I started dating a girl and suddenly after roughly a year she became noticeably (to me) avoidant. I'm not sure is that true or am I discovering that I'm anxiously attached. How can I tell the difference? I really like her & I thought she really liked me too but I'm not sure if giving up on our relationship now is a good idea or not.
You could be anxiously attached with her still being an avoidant. Often its when the avoidant pulls back it triggers the anxious. Within there being. Soul level. Also an avoidant feels the need to pull back when they do care. They’re afraid.
She likes you… WHEN she wants to or uses you…. You will become the only thing in her life that she puts below everything and everyone else.
@@SinfulGoddess1im an anxious person currently pursuing an avoidant. I want to help him and show him I care, but he genuinely wont let me. I have been cheated on frequently and I constantly fear hes cheating because he just disappears.
For me 3rd try 15 yrs later. He literally told me hes not ready at 68 yrs old but hed like to hang with zero responsibility or commitment. I finally just woke up, just woke up one Friday and i was done😢
To adapt my favorite video game quote: Getting into a relationship with an avoidant is not the hard part, it’s letting go.
Great video! 👏🏾👏🏾
NEGLECT INDEED 👀🤝🏾.
Ty so much.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Good video
Thanks for always supporting the content 🙏🏾
Pplease speak louder in later videos.its too low. Otherwise, very good information.
Turn your volume up. His volume is fine.
I put the captions on as I am hard of hearing
“When you figure out the dance, around that third breakup”. I’m on #2 in 3.5 years with my DA ex/gf… 😅🫠
Third time’s a charm, right? Right?!
😂