Aspergers In Adults - 3 EFFECTIVE Ways YOU Spot It!
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- This is the MOST EFFECTIVE WAY you need to spot Aspergers In Adults for people trying to find out! 📘50% OFF AUTISM PARENTING MAGAZINE → bit.ly/AUTISMPM
→ Try Online Therapy Here (sponsored) → betterhelp.com/theaspieworld/
→ AUTISM ALERT CARD →
→ HEALTH GUMMIES UK → www.yuminutrition.com?aff=2
→ HEALTH GUMMIES USA → yuminutrition.us?aff=6
→ [15% OFF] AUTISM STIM TOYS / GADGETS → bit.ly/StimToys
→ Autism Therapy Headphones → www.soundsory.com/ASPIE10
→ MUSIC I USE IN MY VIDS → www.epidemicsound.com/referra...
→ SENSORY TOY BUNDLE → amzn.to/36zbBiA
→ AUTISM CHEWIE GADGETS → amzn.to/2Mh8eWR
→ PUSH POP BUBBLE SENSORY TOY → amzn.to/3tj2z36
→ AUTISM WEIGHTED BLANKET → amzn.to/3r8LCq0
→ COMPRESSION BLANKET AUTISM → amzn.to/3pIrXNr
→ MY CAMERA → amzn.to/3akFHaM
→ MY MICROPHONE → amzn.to/3rb8TYw
→ MY PODCAST MIC → amzn.to/3pFqg3v
→ THE REASON I JUMP BOOK → amzn.to/2MLs2kS
👕MY MERCH → bit.ly/TAW_Merch
💼 WORK WITH ME → TheAspieWorld@gmail.com
✅MY EXCLUSIVE MEMBERSHIP SITE: www.levelupautism.net
✅MY AUTISM COURSE: www.learnautism.net
🔴SUBSCRIBE ➤ bit.ly/AutismRUclips
📲PATREON → bit.ly/TAW_Patreon
📹 WATCH MORE OF MY VIDEOS → bit.ly/Watch_More_TAW
📹SECRET VLOG →bit.ly/2FHuaor
FOR MORE FOLLOW MY SOCIALS ⬇️
--------------------------------------------------
► INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/TAW_Insta
► TWITTER: bit.ly/TAW_Twitter
► FACEBOOK: bit.ly/TAW_FaceBook
► SNAPCHAT: bit.ly/TAW_SnapChat
► TIKTOK → bit.ly/TAW_Tik_Tok
► MY BLOG → bit.ly/TAW_Blog
► MY PODCAST → bit.ly/TAW_Podcast
------------------
Aspergers in adults is something that usually is diagnosed later on in life as a lot of adults on the autism spectrum have been missed in the early stages of their Loire due to their time in history.
Aspergers in adults is now called ASD or Autism Spectrum Disorder and there are currently 1 in 100 people in the UK and 1 in 60 in the US who are diagnosed with autism.
It is, however so important to help support and understand aspergers and autism in someone so that a person can help the autistic individual if they are in need of help.
Here are the 3 most common ways to spot autism in adulthood or aspergers in adults.
1. Lack Of Eye Contact
People with autism have difficulty creating and maintaining eye contact. This can occur during one on one conversations or in a group setting. Autistic people find it hard to make eye contact.
2. Difficulty In Social Conversation
Social situations can be so difficult and confusing for people with autism. This can include knowing when to end a conversation, knowing how to start a conversation, personal space, keeping potential interest in the other persons conversation and social body language gestures.
3 Ridged Routine & Lack Of Change
Autistic individuals love to have a good routine to their day and life, this can include eating the same thing every day, and or doing the same activities every single day. It may also be present in the clothing they wear being very similar every day. Also change in routine can cause major distress to the person on the autism spectrum.
If you have anything to add please pop it in a comment bellow, and like this post. Please follow @TheAspieWorld for more awesome autism content.
HASH TAGS:
#aane #aspergersyndrome #adult
LINKS:
BetterHelp - What Is High Functioning Autism? 6 Things You Should Know: • Video
Asperger's Symptoms in Adults: Diagnosis, Treatment, and More - www.healthline.com/health/asp...
Asperger syndrome - National Autistic Society - www.autism.org.uk/about/what-...
![CENTRAL CEE - GEN Z LUV [VERTICAL VIDEO]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/VIbidJm9q34/mqdefault.jpg)
50 years old, spent the last 25 years with severe depression and realised, 2-3 years ago, that I'm on the spectrum. For me, rather than it indicating I was broken, but that I was finally whole again. Everything makes sense now and I fully intend to dive in to the community and try to ensure that no youngster has to go through the hell that I did
HI I am the same age and exactly the same as you. Did not think there was another person who felt this way for most of my life. I struggled so much growing up and was told so many times I was just too shy etc. Now it's all starting to make sense finally.
@@martynsutherland3170 It's been one hell of a journey so far and I'm actually looking forwards to the rest of it! If you're interested you can search for me on FB with the surname of Carpenter (in the UK with a grey beard). ;)
@@ReiverBlue1971 Hi I will do thanks. I haven't actually had my diagnosis as yet (waiting) but everything said on this subject I can relate to 100%. Scored very highly on the online autism tests. Never believed it was just shyness, but school etc was a nightmare as I am sure a lot of people can relate to.
@@martynsutherland3170 I was lucky in my teens as I was the lad everyone went to for info on the home micros at the time (mainly the ZX Spectrum) and so I missed any of the usual bullying. Yep, I'm still waiting for the official diagnosis (although the local group denied responsibility after 18 months on the list for some reason). I'm not sure what's happening as that was as much information as they're let me have! I might be forced to go private (£1700....so it'll be a while yet!)
Me too; 50 just got official diagnoses last week
Some of us give too much eye contact, not looking away at all. I couldn't look anyone in the eye until 2 years ago when I made a decision to make a conscious effort to do so. Now I don't know when to look away and make people incredibly uncomfortable. I have an ASD friend who does the same. He doesn't even blink.
A good friend of mine is that way, too. He's on the spectrum. And the way he looks at people is very uncomfortably direct.
I remember when I was a teenager forcing myself to look guys in the eye when I wanted to learn how to flirt. It was very hard for me to do. I don't notice it now, but I don't recognize faces. And I've been told that it looks like I am looking right through people. Or right into their soul. So, maybe I'm not doing it quite right. Lol
@@Jess_Plume Maybe if we look at their forehead instead it won't feel so weird to us or to them. I had another autistic friend who looked at foreheads. I couldn't tell. Though, I probably wasn't quite looking at his eyes either.
@@Jess_Plume I don't think most people will be able to tell. You could try it with a friend and ask if they can tell. I really don't think I look at people's eyes usually. Because I can never remember their face. And I don't think anyone can tell that I'm looking for facial expressions but not really at their eyes. Maybe you could practice reading their facial expressions and not really worry about their eyes. And see if they can tell.
@@Jess_Plume I hope it helps. I think it will. I made a special interest years ago out of trying to get these things right. I probably still do a lot wrong. But it feels less scary if I make it kind of a project to figure out. How do people react when I do it this way? Hmm, not so good, well what about this other way? Better, so I'll try another little change and see how that goes. Like playing a little game almost. It helps me to get better with social skills. And it makes it more fun and less scary. More analytical. I hope it helps you to kind of play that game, too.
@@Jess_Plume Thanks! It definitely takes a lot of the stress out of it. And makes it a lot more fun. I did that with my appearance, too. I'd take note of how I was treated in a day, and then take note of what I did differently that day. Was my ponytail a little higher that day? Eyebrows thinner or thicker? What was I wearing? Mostly what was different if I was treated particularly well or not so much. Lol. I spent years fine tuning how to get the best reactions that I could. It actually became kind of fun. And it helped me to not feel as much like they didn't like "me" on a particular day. Maybe they just didn't like the placement of the ponytail. And that feels a lot better. Though I take full happy points if they do like what I've done. Lol. I really hope it helps you, too! 🤗
I got diagnosed with autism in 2018. I'm a veteran and being diagnosed after I got out of the service made a lot of sense to me.
Currently seeking a diagnosis
But kind of fearful because I want to go back and the military is the only environment I can work in
I'm a vet too. Haven't been formally diagnosed but does make alot of sense to me too. I did go to an autism screening 7yrs ago and they felt I was "very high functioning" and wanted to do more further testing. Being that they felt right off the bat that I was on the spectrum was enough for me. Many high functioning people they are unsure on the first visit but they were with me.
Omg I been waiting for almost year one of the longest testing processes ever
I am on the spectrum but I can make eye contact. I have problems with social interactions. I prefer to speak with one or two persons, may be three. If I am in a larger group I shutdown. I love my routines: I always listen the same music, have walks on the same place, go to same supermarket and eat the same food. If I change, it's a hard time until I get the routine. I'm from Spain.
I do the same, except eye contact. That's nice to see other people with the same difficulties. I'm from France
Hello from Kansas. 🌻 If I am ever to be in a large group situation, I will every single time go directly to pets, babies and children. 😁
@@naymless2623 hi may I ask where you were diagnosed ? Im in Ile de France but it's hell trying to get diagnosed since I'm not "caricatural" (as in I'm a girl and I have shutdowns instead of meltdowns)
@@celia1888 j'ai été diagnostiquée par une psy (je suis en Normandie), mais tu peux aller dans des CRA où plusieurs professionnels te feront passer des tests, il y en a 1 par région normalement
@@sunflower7045 YES!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, I’m in Scotland. My 8 year old son has just had his ASD and ADHD diagnosis confirmed last week. Found your channel when we where going through the process just looking for information. But the more we’ve went through the process and the more I’ve caught your videos a lot of what you talk about resonates with me personally. I’ve always struggled with interactions with people. To the point where I’m now 35 and have no social circle. I obviously don’t know if I have ASD or if I’m just rude like people say. But I just wanted to let you know that you’re videos make me feel a bit better about the way I’m processing things. So thank you 😊.
the "rude like people say" resonates with me... a lot of people told me over the years (starting with a girlfriend in high-school) that "you are such a nice guy when ppl know you" -- i coul never understand until i researched the whole ASD thinggy. all of a sudden, my world made sense! can't say that it works for you but if you geniunely think that you don't do anything wrong but ppl still misunderstand you and telling you "you act as/are an a**hole" while you desperatly try to understand why... well, if there are more boxes besides that one you can check (eye-contact, social anxiety, routines, special interrests esp. with non-humans) you might have it aswell ;) -- as a side note, there is hope. i can now manage social interactions in general, however social circle, yeah, that one is a black box for me too, sadly. i am 37 btw.
No ASD diagnosis here, but I have been told by a a handful of people that they think I have autism. What you have described about eye contact is EXACTLY what I feel when I have to look someone in the eyes, that they are reaching into my soul and trying to rip it out
I’m a 63 yr. old with both ADHD and Asperger’s, which were diagnosed at ages 44 and 51 respectively. While I relate somewhat with all three points you’ve made, I suspect that my ADHD plays a role in suppressing points two and three.
While I do feel uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact, I’ve taken cues over the years and am decent with that. Maybe it also has something to do with being told as a child, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” while being chastised!! Lol 😝
As far as point two, I do feel uncomfortable when first meeting new people, but I’m eventually not at a loss for words, depending on the circumstances. If it’s a casual social situation and I’m comfortable with the people, I end up talking way more than I should, despite telling myself beforehand that I’m not going to do that this time. Happens every time!! 🙄 However, if it’s a more business or formal situation, I’m more reserved, although I’ve been known to take off talking then, too!! That’s the ADHD coming out, with the Asperger’s part being that I mostly talk about myself and my or my family’s experiences.
As for the last point, I know that that’s a hallmark clue, but that’s not me at all!! I’m just the opposite and I drive my family crazy!! I’ll say I’m going to do such and such and before you know it, I’ve switched gears and do something else. My kids never knew what to expect and sometimes said I’d lied, when I’d really just changed my mind and thought of something better. I’m a night owl, so I never have the same bedtime or wake up time unless I’m forced to by an appointment or some other obligation. Of course, while raising my family I did have a routine but that was imposed on me, not of my making.
I’ve been very blessed to have a wonderful husband, who while not on the spectrum, does have social anxiety and is an introvert. We’ve been married for forty years next month, successfully raised three children (the oldest with never diagnosed Asperger’s and the other two with diagnosed ADHD at 15 and 11, respectively), and have two grandchildren (grandson with undiagnosed Asperger’s from our older son and granddaughter with ADHD from our daughter). They’re truly reruns of their parents- with their own personalities and quirks, of course, and have brought great joy to our family!!
Looking from the outside in, one would never think that our family has either of these conditions, although the signs are there. When I tell people that I have both Asperger’s and ADHD, the response is invariably, “I never would’ve known!!” That’s just because the average person has no idea what to look for.
Thanks for the video and all your others which are very helpful!! 🤗
@Luanne Neill oh golly you sound so similar to me! Especially with the whole eye contact thing & being told as a kid... "look at me when I'm talking to you..." I can also make eye contact too.. however my gaze tends to go to their mouth & I lip read instead especially if they hold anger in their eyes. I was diagnosed ADHD 5 years ago at 32 but I am not (yet) diagnosed with ASD.. just something I have suspected over the last year or so. So thanks for commenting 🙏 was comforting to read similar experiences 😄
Since I got diagnosed I started suspecting everyone around me x)
Lol; me too
I'm waiting to get an appointment for possible diagnosis at 39. I have all traits and have had them all my life but nobody who took time to get me help. My daughter (adopted) was diagnosed at 4 and is high functioning, moderately social, high IQ amongst other diagnosis.
I always gaze somewhere...if I accidentally make I contact I feel like intruded or I did sth inappropriate but I also do stare duelles... well by staring a hole in the forehead of my brother 🙃
Thanks for your honesty Dan. You are so courageous and authentic 🤩
It's been said that some with ASD will look someone in the eye too much, which I suppose is a "masking" behavior. So a symptom may be avoiding eye-contact and/or overdoing eye-contact.
I am really happy I found you on RUclips. I am trying to figure out if my adult son is on the spectrum. A lot of what you are saying describes him. He is suffering with depression and anxiety and he is doesn't want to talk to a doctor or a therapist. He has been suffering for many years but has a fear of talking to a professional about his problems. He isn't able to work. He is highly intelligent However he seems like a child stuck in a grown up body to me. It's so hard for me to explain all of this correctly in the comments. I'm deparartly trying to find some answers for him and trying to get him to the right person to diagnose him properly. Thank you for putting this content out for others. It's very helpful...
I'd just like to point out that while avoiding eye contact is most common for people on the spectrum, the real criteria is UNUSUAL eye contact and that can also mean staring too much into people's eyes. I'm aspie and I had to learn how long to look at someone before looking at something else and coming back to their eyes.
It helps me focus on what someone is saying and I used to not understand why people fled eye contact with me until I realised you're not supposed to lock eyes 100% of the time.
It also makes diagnostic that much harder because most "specialists" believe that you can't be autistic if you look at someone in the eyes. That's why they changed the criteria description from "lack of eye contact" to "unusual eye contact".
The AQ test you've linked (in past videos , it's not there right now.) says that it's VERY LIKELY that I am on the spectrum. Most likely ASD too.
The eye contact in a non romantic sense is a throwback to our time as human animals. Primates have dark pigmentation where we have the 'whites' of our eyes. In many animals direct eye contact might be a challenge. So being able to have subtle variations between direct eye contact, 'side-eye' etc would have allowed greater subtlety in social intrraction and there we got to develop more complex society
There's a whole fascinating world of interacting diciplines that are touched upon when learning about the development of society in more complexity than herds, primate groups etc
Dan you videos are awesome!!! They’ve/you have really helped me in understanding what has been up with me and who I am. I’m just starting the long journey of getting diagnosed with autism. Thanks again for all you help!!!
Watching from Northallerton, North Yorkshire. My daughter is 5 years old and has just received formal diagnosis of selective mutism. She is on the diagnostic pathway for ASD. The thing is, I can remember my behavior at a young age being very similar. The three qualities you have described here is me to a T. Looking back at my life it's so obvious. I could weep when I think of how different my life could have been if I'd had this knowledge 40 years ago. Probably too late to make much of a practical difference now but at least I have some peace of mind with the realization of why I am the way I am. Thank you so, so much for your channel.
Bad socially, bad eye contact, have ADHD, not sure if I have it but it’s something I need to check
I suffer from PTSD and have been seeing a psychologist. She mentioned that she also thinks I'm high functioning autistic. After looking into the symptoms, I'm inclined to agree with her. It seems I have many of the symptoms of Asperger's. I guess this is one reason I never fit in anywhere.
This speaks so much to me. The lack of eye contact, difficulty with social conversations and the rigid routines and lack of change are things I've dealt with all the time.
Aspergers in Seniors sequel 20 years later and how you can spot it?
Spot on Dan! 🙌🏽🥰🙏🏽
2 minutes and 25 seconds is when he finally gets to the point.
Thanks for showing us how to spot them, so we can avoid them.
This is the best!
My daughter is 4 and has autism. I know she doesn't like eye contact so I always point to my mouth when I need to know she's paying attention to what I'm saying. When she does make eye contact it feels so special 🧡
Hank. Is a really good series for children with Dyslexia....Henry , Wrinkler and a co.auther whom I cant remember but is an amazing writer. This book series is so much fun ..the writing is printed in a way that helps with turning letters....I also believe having this was great for autism, lots of learning social cues and how mistakes are made and forgiven.
Hi, I’m from US & I have ADHD, I didn’t give a thought to being on the ASD until I was seeing a therapist & she brought it up to me so I went on RUclips & found your channel & watched some of them & things clicked. I haven’t been diagnosed with it yet but I’m interested in finding out if I actually have it as well cause it would make sense to me if I did.
May I add : having a food schedule, like monday it's eggs, tuesday it's pasta, wednesday it's pizza etc... and having just one meal a day because it is simpler.
And yes, I am that music - obsessed dude who, when he has a crush on a song, listens to it 10 times in a row 😁.
Here is a tip for eye contact : look at the spot on the forehead between the eyes or in the middle of the person's forehead, they will have the impression of eye contact and you will feel less uncomfortable 👍🏽
Finally.content i.can relate.to.
Soooo much of this relates to ADHD too
Also the struggle with giving your partner emotional support especially at difficult times…the right words/behaviour when it’s needed by your partner
I have taken five different tests including I think all the ones you suggested every single one has said that I need to get an official assessment that I have a high likelihood of having autism spectrum disorder. I have not found any online testing for Irlene's syndrome.
I can listen to the same song 100 times
Ya my family is 3+ generation of a.s we all die completely alone on drugs or alcohol Im a addict myself and have antisocial problems so it's caused me to die alot being 24 and always alone and never gonna have anyone to understand or that I can't push away I constantly let my depression get to me hopefully maybe another few years and I'll finally end up permanently escaping this lonely world.
In a few days, I'll be undergoing the final stages of assessment for autism diagnosis. I'm also working in healthcare, so I'm interested personally and professionally.
I had a doctors appointment yesterday for me then my girl later on in the day also. My anxiety went through the roof for the first time in months because it was something added to my day other than my usual routine
That part about the same show, same episode, same song over and over. You got a laugh and thumbs from me. I do know this, I know this all too well
I have a to-do list that works pretty well for me. There are 30+ items on the list. They don't include things I do at specific times, like eat or go to work. I randomly scramble the order of the list every Wednesday morning so that I have some variation in my routines.
I must have as I keep repeatedly watching your videos
Hey Dan. I was diagnosed with severe ADHD Inattentive Disorder back in 2021 and not long after the same clinical psychologist had me sit the (Australian) ASD exam, although made me feel very uncomfortable during the entire process, as I was having difficulties concentrating and had him almost badgering me about the time it was taking to complete the questionnaire. I therefore only came back with 'suspected' ASD. I have since done further research of my own and spoken to my psychiatrist who is at the same practice and he has even agreed that I am on the spectrum and not just 'suspected'. I am now working on finding a new clinical psychologist to sit the test with to have a formal diagnosis on paper. It has been a wild ride but through your videos and many others I have come to realise who I am and why I always felt different to all my peers. I always felt like I was an outsider or an alien of some sort because I didn't fit into the world around me, when all it was was me being the individual that I am who's brain is wired just a little differently.
My son, age 41, has Aspergers. He figured it out himself by putting questions of his symptoms into Google and reading about it in his 20's, He told me what was wrong and had me read what he found. I said, "Oh, My God! That's you!". He also has misophonia and can't tolerate loud or irritating sounds, and doesn't listen to music anymore. I am learning to cope and understand him better.
I've been diagnosed with ADD and aspergers (in adulthood) but I also have impostor syndrom so I don't know if I just fooled them or If I just have depression, anxiety, trauma (since childhood) which can lead to similar symptoms or of course maybe all of this 🤯
Lol this is me 100% in one on one conversation, unless like I'm used to the person, which is funny crowd's of people and public speaking I'm really good at because it's scripted and not personal. One on one I'm a mess though it makes dating like the hardest thing for me.
Recently diagnosed
My eye contact I didn’t know or was conscious of until a few years back as I didn’t know people are suppose to look at each other when engaging. I Chalked it up to being engaged in my thoughts. I didn’t know I had a hard time with it..
Social situations. I thought I was just a loaner with No friends. And I use to upset everyone if I did have to talk to someone as I wasn’t aware of cues.
Routines. I would be driven mad if my ex wife wanted to do something unplanned. Also trips we’re really hard as I didn’t have all my stuff for my routines around me.
I suggest anyone thinking or recently diagnosed to get some books. It’s helped me a ton through the letting go of what I thought my old self was transitioning into awareness and what needs correction and what we do excel at. Kingsley publishing I think it is thats published most Aspergers books..
The truth is there is very few signs that are 'autism specific'. Just about all signs and symptoms can be attributed to another condition, and that's why misdiagnosis is so common in autism. People with social anxiety, ptsd, or even depression may avoid eye contact. Having rigid routines can be a part of ocd. Struggling in social situations can be mistaken for a personality disorder, or even just a lack of experience (immigrating to another country/culture is an example).
I've always felt uncomfortable looking some one straight in the eye. I've managed it by looking just above their eyes or just slightly to the left or right. I look like I;m lokking at you but I'm really not. I am terrible in social situations, even worse at conversation with people I don't know. Having fairly rigid routines is a big help. It makes everything so much easier. Knowing I have aspergers makes it easier to understand myself.
The Vangogh Cafe painting has people in it. I didn’t notice it until someone mentioned it.
I've had serious difficulty with all 3. However overtime (I'm 46) I've been able to work around them. It just took most of my life.
I can look people in the eyes now, it's just uncomfortable and I don't do it for the whole time.
Since getting into recovery, I've had to learn how to socially interact. The other people in the program are my lifeline. So I've figured it out.
However I do despise small talk.
The routine thing is the only one that hasn't changed.
I love routine.
I was diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago at 32.. with the whole eye contact thing, I can momentarily give eye contact but then begin looking around if I am talking otherwise I completely lose my train of thought & if the other person is talking I focus on the persons mouth & lip read. With all the restrictions due to covid, in particular mandatory masks, this has completely f**ked my average & I really struggle making eye contact at all. I knew I lip read but didn't realise until now how that perhaps has masked my awkwardness in social situations. I am female & I know females with ASD tend to be able to blend in better socially so I think perhaps this was/is a coping mechanism I have used socially. I also have sensory sensitivities, particularly sound & soft touch can easily become overwhelming.. also have "special interests" but I guess I learnt to mostly I keep them to myself. I do wonder if these are significant enough signs/symptoms among a few others to warrant looking into diagnosis..? My head doctor seemed to easily put the sensory sensitivities into the ADHD bucket.
Really enjoy your videos, so thanks for your dedicated passion for awareness.. it is definitely helpful to all but especially people such as myself 🤗💛✌
Even after deviating myself an aspie, I still had no justification as to why I had such trouble remembering people's faces. I can't say the number of times I've introduced myself to someone I've already met. The best I could determine was that I had horrible memory. Never thought that it could have to do with me not dedicating more than split seconds to looking them in the face. It's like, not to we've become friends or significantly acquainted, that I'm likely to remember a face. But shoes stick with me for some reason. And now I also have an explanation for that! I tend also to really critique a person on their show selection though. And it's much less about the shoe's beauty and very much more so about its appropriateness. But that's probably getting onto another subject. But if anyone's got any further links to this type of discussion, please share.
I just found out via the dsm5 and my therapist. My children are grown. I’m fairly certain they would not believe me and it might raise issues, like to believe I have it they would have to wonder if they have it. Not happening. 😢
I have lots of symptoms but I don't really have a problem with looking at people. so I've never been able to get an appointment with someone that could tell me what I've got. I also have dyslexia.
All 3 apply to me, especially the eye contact thing including not being good at recognizing people by face.
Well, you just described me to a tee!!
I'm working on getting an autism diagnosis, in high school I had friends that just let me say what ever I want and be random and lead me to not to understand what too personal to say in public, which is now leading me to get bullied at work so I ended up having alot of breakdown
Ya..the eye contact is a big one for me. I remember being very young and I would look at peoples mouths when they spoke or look down but as I got older I could look at people in the eye when they spoke to me but when I speak to them I would always look away or look down. Its weird how I never realy thought about it until later in life and nobody every asked me why I did that. Now I try to look at a part of their face like their mouth or nose when I speak to people. I feel like it takes away from my communication skills because im more focused on looking at them instead of focusing on what I want to say. If I loose my train of thought then I have to look away...
I have never been diagnosed. I hate making eye contact with people. I really feel like I don’t know how to end a conversation correctly and not the greatest at starting them either. The only thing is my routine I feel is not really the same every day.I do like eating the same thing though. Is it common in asd or aspergers to talk a lot? I’m not really big on talking a lot.
I look at noses and mouths .. mouths are great as they are as expressive as eyes but less intimidating.. noses are what I go to if the mouth is too expressive and also becomes intimidating
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
I tend to look all over the room while I'm talking.
@@user-zr6pl6nb6z I do that when I’m not paying attention to trying to be more focused on the person.. Or if I can’t cope with trying to communicate my thoughts/feelings and look at them at the time 😅
@@spotsandstripes2 I'm not sure why I do it. I can look them in the eyes for a bit while they talk, but when I talk I get immersed in my thoughts and look everywhere.
My oldest 2 kids and one of my 3 younger kids have autism and for a couple years now my 21 year old daughter (aspie for both my oldest) and I’ll never forget my daughter walking in my room while watching Psych when she came home to visit for winter (she interns for farms in Oregon and Washington) and I said oh, hey, I’m just watching my
Comfort show. She looks at me and says, “are we SURE you’re not autistic?” I said, “nope!” 😂 I check all the boxes. All my “official” tests show me straddling both sides of the spectrum, but I have severe adhd and anxiety and mild OCD. I can’t reignite people or remember their names bc I’m too nervous. Running a plant group of 1.8k local people makes it awkward when I’m in public and a group member recognizes me bc I’m the head admin, and I have to pretend I know who they are 🤦🏻♀️ and my kids and husband and are like: you either say nothing or you don’t shut up. 😆
I Never forget a face but I’m horrible w names, it’s because to avoid eye contact I look at other parts of the face while someone’s talking to me, once their eyes shift & I quickly return eye contact for a glance then repeat smh
Hello I’ve been doing research and trying to find out if I may be on the spectrum. I believe I am. I’m 28 I’m a veteran. And it’s mainly at work I have a very very hard time communicating with people. One thing we do a lot at work is page people over the intercom I cannot for the life of me get on there and talk on the phone. I have a hard time starting and continuing conversations as well. I’m also hesitant to make decisions and always feel like I’m making the wrong decision. I rock back and forth to keep calm.
I try so to look people in the eye
It is so forced that it causes issues with strangers because they think I’m sizing them up or trying to do something strange
I look people in the eye now I didn't when I was younger I was beat by my father until I would look at people in the eye
Dismissed as lazy and naughty by a child psychologist at 10, diagnosed at 57.
My son is 22 and loves when the trash man and the recycling man come to our condo. There are certain days of the week when they are SCHEDULED and SUPPOSED to get our dumpsters, but when they don't show up for some reason, my son gets extremely anxious and upset and it pretty much ruins his day. I don't know how to console him when this happens and it breaks my heart. Any suggestions on how to help him, Dan?
You speak so quickly! 😮😮😮
Try putting the subtitles on, it might make it easier.
I reduce the speed to 0,75 to be able to follow.
Hi Dan! My husband and both agree he is on the spectrum. He is very willing to accept the label but I can’t seem to get through to him that as much as it explains so much, it is a disability. Meaning, on his part he has to accept that people misunderstand as well as he misunderstands others. Any advice as to how to unlock his mind for acceptance and open to awareness and accountability?
Me: I was born in Australia in 1965 and diagnosed with Klinefelters Syndrome (47XXY) when I was in my mid20s.. I read ages ago that a lot of boys born with KS had a higher chance of being Autistic (KS only happens in males BTW).. I didn't look too much more into the autism thing, until I watched an interview on RUclips with Gary Numan.. He stated he has Aspergers and its made him a better musician - he then went on about a few of his traits, and I then thought, "Wow.. That sounds so much like me.." I've been researching, reading and watching as many RUclips videos I can to see if I'm really on the spectrum or not.. I haven't been tested yet though. I had an IQ test years ago when I was in primary school as the teachers thought there was something mentally wrong with me because I cried a lot and was reserved.. I didn't mix with other kids and kept to myself. But when I got interested in something, I'd babble on about it non-stop. My IQ was slightly above average apparently.. I was able to read and comprehend words 5 years in advance of where I was at.. Ive never been very good at maths but am a good speller.. My punctuation sucks though.. I dont like eye contact unless I have to.. It makes my skin crawl when someone does it to me.. After being at work all day (Im a postman) I like to wind down in a darkened room - being out in the daylight too long wears me out - am I a freakin' vampire? I notice spelling mistakes everywhere all the time and that annoys me.. I haven't actually watched this video yet as I'm bashing this out, I'm just giving you some of my background.. I'll maybe add other things as I remember them. Crowds? Detest them.. I prefer small groups - I get super uncomfortable in big groups.. At a party I get myself behind the bar making drinks for people, its my way of staying in a corner and only seeing one or two people at a time. At work my sorting frame is in the corner of the office and daces the wall, and I listen to my iPod (I listen to doofdoof music to drown out the people in the office so I can get my sorting done, then be out on delivery by myself - where I like to be).. Sorry I'm babbling...
Dude..
Now that I've watched the vid..
The 3rd point...
It's dead on..
Routine.. I go completely off my trolley if anything changes.. I hate change. I wear the same stuff every day, eat the same food, watch the same shows over and over on DVD. Everything I have is in order.. My boots and shoes are organized in height.. All my books games and DVDs are in alphabetical order.. I love making lists on Excel.. All my clothes are either blue or black. I'm in a samba band and have played the same instrument for 6 years (chocalho), I only really have maybe 4 really close friends, its so hard for me to make friends.. I never know what to say.. Its maddening.. Ive been through depression and have lapses when things dont go where I expect them.. Oh and I suffer with anxiety too.. Maybe I should write all this down.. I mentioned to my doctor that I'd like to see a psychologist - and he laughed at me... Should I get tested? Or get myself committed...
I do not make any facial expressions, and my voice is one tone as well
Undiagnosed Asperger's, Dx ADHD: This is probably why I can't remember what people look like. I usually go by hair, clothes, voice, accessories. Lol I never really thought of that but it makes sense now that I have. Trying to get into a good routine. I currently have a bad one. My life is always being uprooted and no one cares about that.
Done deal for me.
I have difficulty with eye contact which I only just realized when I migrated to the west. In my culture we do not look elders in their eyes. Routine is difficult because I have co-morbid ADHD. And I really do not want to talk about social situations, they have always been a pain.
I believe my partner is undiagnosed ASD
For me I have difficulty walking towards someone who is facing me because I don’t know where to look. Typically I use my phone as a prop to look at even when I’m not doing anything on it because it is more comfortable than looking all around. This behavior is in hindsight the reason coworkers don’t really greet me
My son who is almost five, we are in the process of figuring out if he has ASD but I feel like if Asperger's was still classified that's where he would fit in and probably ADHD as well.
When u said the shoes and voice as a identifier it made my heart skip a beat because that is me
It's incredible. It never even clicked to me that I have a shoe fixation until you said that. Unless someone tells me that everyone remembers the shoes of most every significant person in their life. And their choices tend to bother me on some level. To the level that someone's shoes can even be a sexual turn-off for me. Or is this typical for everyone? Seriously asking this...
I have àspergers but I don't like same things everyday I hate clocks
I moved to another city, but i kept going to the same barber, travelling 2 hours. Until my wife learned how to do haircuts.
I watch my favorite movies repeatedly, like 30 times. I may quit, but i still miss it.
I'd love to finally get answers to how I tick.
My 12yo son has been diagnosed as ASC since 2014, and through this journey I have started looking inwards and I see a lot of me in him. But I have spoken to my Dr and its like hitting a brick wall. It's highly depressing 😞
Its the same with my youngest. He is displaying so much but he masks so well. It's a nightmare 😫
get a different doctor, you don't need to keep seeing him . Its good to get a different opinion if you feel like they're not right for you :)
I can't find the link for the test. I've gone over everything in the description several times and am not seeing it. Can anyone help me find it please?
Just google AQ Test (Autism Quotient Test) there are tons out there :)
@@whitneymason406 I've done that before and taken the tests. But I wanted to try the one he was talking about, too. I did score on the spectrum. But I thought it would be fun to take the test he likes, too. Extra confirmation I guess. Lol
I work out of town . I live in hotels most my life . My coworker I share room . Has asperger. I knew he was different. But just an amazing person. He had a few really bad weeks. He was having problems at home. I saw first hand his brain break at work . Complete breakdown at hotel . When we got home and I dropped if off at his car . He drove off and got in a car reck ran scared. He's in jail now . Refused to go to court. So he gets no bail . I'm doing all I can to help. Just now learning about asperger. If you have any info on the best place to learn about more. I would appreciate it
Definitely see all of these qualities and the person I’m dating who suspects they are possibly on the spectrum. I also see these qualities in myself but when I take online tests I don’t come up high on the spectrum but that could be because I am female. I also have a visual impairment which could cause me to mimic traits of autism but not actually be autistic. But yeah, if I was a betting person, I would bet the person I’m dating is on the spectrum. 😄 Love your videos, BTW exclamation.
You really read and respond to each comment? That's a lot...
I think I have many traits but I am kind of still thinking about what to do with me.
eyes communicate through various muscular movements, and sometimes this information/data/signaling provides clues into meanings like hyperbole, comedy sarcasm, truth or lies (subconscious tells), will and intentions, and emotional status, just to name a few examples. People can struggle with some or all of these things, sometimes or all the time. Yet, the practicality of life can always help guide you when these non-verbal concepts leave you feeling unsure about someones communication with you. So for example, a boss wants you to do a task, but his eyes look angry..no reason to dwell on it, get the task done, since that is the practical point of control you have in such a moment. And perhaps in your ability to complete the jobs task, your boss will now have a smile. In any event, the anger or happiness of your boss is essentially irrelevant to the practical application of your skills/blessings/talents. If you find someone has excessive non-verbal info directed at you, just tell them your uncomfortable and/or that you would like to resume completing your tasks. Then you come across as the dedicated and hard working person, which nobody can deny!
Re eye contact:
The notable thing about the human eye is the whites.
Seeing the whites of the eye means we can see in which direction a person is looking or glancing...even from a distance.
In a group eye direction can be a cue for who to look to next for speech.(defer to the boss etc.) Who is expected to speak next (it's your turn) etc.
I suppose this could indicate hierarchy and a lack of participation in that game will lead to exclusion.
I need to look down, around , into the distance or shift my eyes quickly in order to access certain resources (memory, information, relations, sensations etc)
But in general...looking to the right eye and the mouth of another seems to work in a one to one.
...looking to the left eye can make right handed people uncomfortable...darting from eye to eye is something only done in movies....for dramatic effect. It's not natural afaik.
Hi thank you for this video, my 4 year old daughter has been diagnosed with mild autism and I just had a question if you don't mind trying to answer it, it's regarding your .. looking people in the eye info.
My daughter does look people in the eye quite a lot but will never look at my phone when I try to take a photo. I can't ask her why, as she talks some, but she wouldn't be able to answer that kind of question.
I just wondered if you know why this is please I've tried google but can't find an answer. If I turn the screen around so she can see herself she looks at herself on the screen and will have the photo taken, but not when I take a photo the usual way, when I am behind the phone trying to take the photo of her, thank you 🙏
Put like a toy on top of your phone they sell that on amazon
There could be a variety of reasons for this. Hold a simular size object in a way you would a camera and say "look at mummy and smile" - do you get the same reaction. Changing different variables might help you find out.
I came across a child today who didn't like being looked at even when they could see the person looking. Some autistic folk find people focusing attention on them too intense, if she can see herself in the camera the situation becomes more predictable. Some researchers don't adhere to the sensory processing model but the Predictability model - in practice it holds weights.
@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 thank you I'll have a look on Amazon and try that 👍🏻😊
@@sarahcunniffe4678 thank you I will try this as well, thanks for replying 👍🏻😊
Unable to identify faces?
I have the eye contact issue, but apparently one of my special powers is an incredible visual memory, so I have a terrible time remembering peoples names, but know their face.
Social conversation issues? Oh, definitely yes.
Hell, when someone would ask me "how are you?" or such, I didn't realize that they didn't actually want me to answer that truthfully. Awkward!
Yes! Same job for 17 years, despite being able to move to another position at any point in the company. Or watching the same movie over 100 times so that I can find all of the clues and hidden gems that the writer/director hid within it ("A Tale of Two Sisters", well worth at least one viewing).
Also, drinking like an alcoholic simply because it was part of a routine, although discovering that I could stop drinking at any point I wanted without any withdrawal symptoms at all (yes, sober after quitting cold-turkey, but the desire to keep up the routine was more troublesome than any insistent urge for the alcohol, itself).
Hey, I am curious why you still use the word Aspergers? Please know I am coming from a space of curiousity. I know some folks on the spectrum choose not to use the term Aspergers because of the history around Hans Asperger and the idea of "high functioning" diagnoses. But would like to learn more if you or anyone here would like to discuss more.
Personally I like the term Aspergers. When I tell someone who is neurotypical who I know that I'm autistic they are like "Oh OK, yeah that makes sense". I told someone I had autism and they said "You don't look like you have autism. You must be high functioning" . 🙄 I do wonder if it's neurotypical people that have a issue with having a different diagnosis like Aspergers and autism (high or low functioning). From what I've seen so far most people with Aspergers don't like being lumped with every other autistic person... as it makes things more black and white.
Autism is Autism be it high functioning,low functioning or Aspergers, we all have difficulties and should look after each other, it does not matter which ASD we are labelled with,as most will suffer anxiety/depression and feel like total misfits in a world that was not designed for us.
Read Neuro Tribes (also on audio book) you should get a broader view. There is more than one side to the story.
Some autistic folk are gate keepers.
@@sarahcunniffe4678 That sounds interesting, I will have to have a look at this book 👍
Very poor in recognising people’s face!!! I got that but I have not thought about this is related to the eye contact issue 😑😑😑
Sometimes I think I have Aspergers just because I have problems with social interactions but not everything else. Same routines drive me insane but I don’t know how to change.. prolly cuz of the depression 😮💨
I've done the AQ test twice, with a differing way of scoring (one using only 1 point for certain questions, the other using a scaling from 1-4). On the first one I got 33p and it says "possible ASD starting 32p". The second one mentioned a lowest-highest score of 50 vs 200 and I got 151. Guess my "childhood" hunch was right about possibly being on the spectrum XD
test isn't accurate for schizophrenic autistic people.
100% sure i got that shi
According to NLP specialists (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which is somewhere between mind-reading and behaviour therapy), whether people are autistic or not, when they're reflecting they make eye movements to the left or to the right which differ
1) depending on whether they're retrieving memories or thinking up something new) and
2) depending on whether they're the Visual type, the Auditory type or the Kinesthetic type.
This suggests that people don't do direct eye contact all along a discussion anyway!...
However, I believe in what could be called the autistic approach of handshakes. I can't shake somebody's hand while looking at his/her face, I need to watch what I'm doing or the handshake goes wrong, and I think it's an autistic thing.
As to routines, I have none at all, strange but true! I have no habits aside from what I wear and what I eat (which is based on my tastes and my budget).
Got diagnosed at 47, in 2019, because I thought I was autistic like my elder son but the psychiatrist who diagnosed him in 2014 thought I more likely had social anxiety (so much for that autism specialist's unquestionable discernment, even she failed to spot me, lol!). Proof that the DSM diagnosis criteria are based on male autistic behaviour and not female autistic behaviour, right?
I succeeded in getting diagnosed because I asked for it, then contributed self-diagnosis to the diagnosis by defining my own sensory profile and describing my behaviour and how my mind works. These are things that no psychiatrists can know unless they're told. All my senses are impacted, either hyposensitive, either hypersensitive and sometimes toggling between "hyper" and "hypo". I generally know how to balance my sensory input in manual mode in order to avoid sensory overload. My education as a kid largely repressed or suppressed my stimming, but I found other ways of stimming which might be more discrete and, if not discrete enough to be unnoticed, more "socially acceptable".
It seems to me that autism is generally easier to spot in children "under the masking age" (which I think happens around 6 or 7, the "age of reason" as we say in France) than in adults, but that in some cultures which dislike direct eye contact, it goes more unnoticed. Yes, such cultures exist (in Japan, for example), I'm glad to share the info. They find direct eye contact intrusive and threatening or associate it with exerting authority or pressure, and perhaps so do autistics in general.
Your video makes me wonder it being able to spot an autistic person is a good thing or a bad thing. Not all cultures are "Autie-friendly", as you know, and for us "to tell or not to tell" is quite a dilemma.
Hello all.
If you're a guy of a certain age you might want to read this :
I'm 52 now.
Diagnosed ADHD at 48 after a series of life stressors I could not cope with.
It's become evident that I'm ASD specky also 🌈. Yay !
Upon life review and serious reflection...every social skill, movement, languaging, social contextualization of position, angle and eye contact included that I've practiced over the years...and I'm good at them... was a compensation for the lack of being able to naturally grasp people's emotional motivations and consequences.
This failure to generalize naturally (I can tie shoelaces or undo knots easily on any pair of shoes you care to give me...but people are not shoes) in social contexts
is a *massive* handicap imo.
I'm smart, undereducated and have a love hate relationship with rules. Which adds to my general lack of fit for the white lower middle class which is my background.
Although I score 35 on the AQ test and a barrage of others and my psychologist agrees that I'm ASD/Aspie/whatever we want to call this shape of Neurodivergence I see no advantage in pursuing a diagnosis from a health professional at age 52.
That's my story and thoughts from my angle. Hopefully it's some help to someone somehow.
TLDR: I'm too old to diagnose imo.
You're not too old. I'm roughly your age and was diagnosed with PTSD only a while ago. It helps to know and talk it through with a therapist. While I haven't been diagnosed with autism, my therapist thinks I'm on the high functioning end of the spectrum. It makes sense, since I seem to have a lot of the symptoms.
I always thought I looked people in the eye. But I can't remember faces well at all. It's actually been a big problem for me. So, maybe I'm not actually looking them in the eye. I think I'm more focused on reading their facial expressions to understand them but don't actually look at the face as a whole. And probably not the eyes.
I made learning how interact socially to be one of my special interests. So, I'm okay with it one on one, or can at least look like I'm good at it. It is an ongoing experimental process, though. And I avoid getting together in groups like the plague.
I like to think that I don't need a routine. But really I do. I just need it to be entirely created by me. And I only alter it a little, now that I think about it. I would prefer to eat the same thing every day if I could and only switch that up every few months, for example. But if my own chosen routine is messed up somehow it really throws me off.
Have you looked up face blindness? The NHS Web page is a nice start.
@@sarahcunniffe4678 I have read about face blindness, yes. Good suggestion. I do fit with everything they say about it. Though I don't know if that part of my brain works properly without an MRI. I could easily have it, though. My dad is that way, too. And he doesn't avoid eye contact at all. Thank you for the suggestion! 🤗
@@anyascelticcreations to be honest, there is an alternative theory to developmental faceblindness about seeing high detail in certain parts.
@@sarahcunniffe4678 Huh. That's interesting. I don't see high detail in any part of the face. It seems like I'm seeing them well enough when I'm talking to them. But once I look away I have no memory of their face. I can remember photographs a little. And I can remember certain parts of some faces that had very pronounced expressions. But I can't think of any face that I can remember fully, especially without a photo.
@@anyascelticcreations I'm exactly the same. The memory isn't made. It is like having a completed 1000 piece jigsaw infront of you and your eye is drawn to one piece. Your brain recognises the details of that piece yet at the same time recognises you are looking at a whole picture. Consequently, when you leave you can neither remember the detail of the individual piece (because it minus the context) or the whole picture because your attention was drawn to only one part. Equal attention to all parts is required. If your brain could recognise the high amount of detail for each individual piece it would be intense. There are a few family people who I can recognise by face. I am often surprised by my own reflection. I am able to recognise more facial expressions since having a baby, I put this down to watching his facial expressions develop over the first year.
I think my bf is ASD. He hasn't told me he is...I just suspect as much
My mental health bro thinks I'm on the spectrum, my husband is an aspie. I look at people's mouths when they talk. I thought this would be considered making eye contact lol! But yeah half the time I don't look at people when I talk. It's never bothered me that my husband doesn't cuz I don't either haha! I mean...are there people who look right at someone's eyes when speaking???? Do people actually do that???? It seems so awkward!
Re-animator!