So true! My ex broke up with me before Christmas and already was sleeping with his next door neighbor. I didn’t know about his affair and was asking him to meet and talk about our relationship. When we’ve met all I could hear from him was the word salad and he was looking at me with the smirk on his face while I was crying. In a week he posted pictures on social media with his new supply that he started dating while we still where in the relationship.
@@kseniadenesiuk3514 I am SO sorry to hear that. You poor darling. You don't deserve that. Just think about the fact that now you have stepped on and up. Leave him in the gutter where he belongs. I hope you're going ok now. Sending you love and prayers.
My ex would punish me or try to punish me all the time. The silence treatment is one that he used a lot or yelling & calling me names rude disrespectful name's, trying to make me jealous it was so sick. I'm still healing from all the shitty crap he put me through. The worst relationship I have ever been in.
Same here and what’s worse is he turned around and called me a narcissist. 2 months later and I’m still researching like crazy if I am one. Also he was never one genuinely sorry. He even told me once he regretted ever meeting me and I was the worst thing to ever happen to him…I truly believed those words and then he would casually say behind ALL that “but I love you.” NO ONE understands how I can’t get OVER this that easily. On one hand the abuse was TORTURE but when things were okay, they were good! I miss the moments he and I could genuinely laugh but he’s off trying to get into a new relationship while I’m desperately trying to heal and trust I’ll meet someone who genuinely loves me (and doesn’t say DEMEANING SHIT TO ME DAILY)
My ex said I was a narcissists haha he's so LAME!! I told him look it up stupid probably has his picture next to the definition smh. I told him go away already don't you have some supply to go torment
Psychopath Free was a really helpful book, thank you for suggesting it Ben. It's amazing the way that narcissistic behavior patterns line up perfectly with the way that certain people act and speak. Even when you and Lee talk about things that narcissists say, sometimes the narcs I have known will have said the exact same phrase down to every word. It's eerie.
I know. It is strange. It seems like all narcissists share the same play by play handbook. Is there a secret narcissist support group like on the dark web were they share secrets and strategies about how to ensnare their next target? Such as using certain catch words and phrases, how to act and react, what to say, and so on? The narcs. I have dealt with have seemed like carbon copies of each other. I realize there are differences as people are diffrent, but my gosh it seems they are identical twins. Do they have some kind of telepathy going on? How about exhibiting the same behaviors as like copying each other and saying the same identical thing per vadium. Really weird.
I'm struggling again today I appreciate your videos but I'm struggling I'm crying I still can't believe that another human did so much hurt and pain to me I'm a strong person I'm a smart person I just can't believe how deep rooted the pain is I'm getting better again I appreciate your videos and I appreciate your honesty peace
The last one hit very hard, the pain they cause gives them a sadistic pleasure and they get fed by it....I just can't comprehend. I remember thinking about drawing a line to the side of a window whenever I was cry smoking thanks to him- as a reminder. When he heard this idea of mine, the notsohidden diabolic wry smile appeared on his face. Not gonna forget that moment. Thanks for helping our healing process, Ben! What you are doing is so precious!!
The Lord changed my heart and ripped me out of my marriage.. i married him 1 month after my heart was changed, and i was taken out of that hell 6 months later. Been apart now for 7 months. its been two weeks now i've been mentally and emotionally 'free'. Its the first time in my adult life, i'm alone. working on yourself is TRUTH. Seek Christ. He is the only TRUTH that will truly rid you of this awful darkness that preys upon kindness. So glad i have my strength back, no longer sick. if it had not been for the last 2 years, i wouldn't know myself like i do now.
THANK U SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS MY LIFE HAS BEEN. DESTROYED THROUGH MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT. AND WITH HOLDING NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS SO CRUEL.
I confronted the narcissist in my life. Through letters. To my surprise, he crumbled down. I never lied, didn't exaggerate, just sticked with the truth, I took back the narrative. He read every letter, like a compulsive would do. He read every word and it sticked. Holding them responsible will not change their minds, it will make them react to you in all kinds of ways, but it's healing to confront them and take the narrative back into your hands. I gained my self respect back. Do it while you are in therapy and really over the relationship. And are in a safe place. They will read every word you write to them. I wrote over 24 emails to him and to my surprise he read them all. Because they need to know what you have to say. It's super weird. They need to control the narrative. Just don't let them. Take your voice back. They will see that you changed already and don't fall for it again. And it makes them crumbling down. It's important that you write from an adult perspective. Let the therapist deal with your wounded inner child, because this needs healing as well. But to get into your adult mode and writing letters to him and hold him accountable like an adult would do, without excuses for his behavior and without acknowledging his past etc, is very powerful to gain your self respect back. It does not matter how they react as long as you are safe. It's NOT about convincing them, you won't. It's about control over the narrative and owning your own voice. You were silent all those years. He tried to call me, but I didn't pick up. He tried to drive to my house, I didn't open the door or said I don't want him to see ever again. I don't want to hear his voice , I don't want to see him again. I just continued to write every single event down and how he failed to create a psychological healthy relationship with me. And how disappointed it was. And I wrote those letters in my own speed. Sometimes I send them, sometimes I don't. Whatever felt comfortable to me. He crumbled. He called me crazy, he called me names, he said that I was full of revenge, unforgiving, asking me to stop (which I did not but gave him his own medication by saying, you can block me and don't read them. Just block emails from me and I can write whatever I want and you don't have to read this. He couldn't block me and read all the letters, to my surprise actually. They have to know. It's about power and control. It's their own weakness that they will read every single word you write about them. And those words will stick. With them. I gained my voice back and my self respect. I wrote everything off my chest. And hold him accountable. He wrote me that he misses me and loves me. I said no. That's not love, it never was. It makes him crumble down to see you have gained your voice back. And don't fall into the same trap again. I watched a video of David Navarro on how to talk with a suspect (whom they already know that they are guilty), how to talk to them as an adult who owns the room and demands respect without being rude. Very helpful.
Really indepth content Ben, thank you. sometimes I find it hard to believe you're a Narc yourself! I'd say your a former Narc nowadays! your videos get better all the time! 💟💟💟🇬🇧
this is so DEAD ON!!! my husband, a now on Hospice and newly self aware, repentant Narc, who is retired AF SF specialized in interrogations and control up to and including physical coercion..... we appreciate your videos as he's learning about himself and gaining more awareness of the why's of his actions and the videos are validating for myself as his still wife and Survivor
From a common sense viewpoint, WTF would someone stay in a relationship with a pwNPD, who behaves like a child & withholds love & affection? No pwNPD is unique, they all follow the same rulebook; they know what they're doing & they know it's wrong but they don't care. What does a partner/family member to a pwNPD have anything to gain from this association? Absolutely nothing. No contact is the only way & never look back.
Mabye it's not that easy for some people ..we all think differently ..I wish I could go no contact without her constantly in my mind . .I spent 30 years with her. Split up for ten years after years of the silent treatment. .two of my sons came with me ..the youngest one stayed with her ..I fell for the crap again a year ago and now she is in my head again . I'm nearly 60 now and I want to help her so badly but know I can't . But I haven't got the common sense to let her go ..that's why I watch these videos .they help me heaps.
@@sphingosgoatius5638 I am 55 & this isn't my first rodeo but I can't imagine that many years of abuse, I'm sorry. Years ago, we didn't have access to all this information. Ben & Richard Grannon have excellent videos regarding the trauma bond. Remember, it's all lies, THEY are a lie, you are nothing to them but you are WORTHY & DESERVING of real love, being loved for who you are!
Mine cheated on me twice with women he knew I disliked. He got caught both times and continued the affairs. I believe it's his way of paying me back for exposing him. It's such a sick, toxic cycle.
I saw my Ex yesterday. The conversation was Ok at first but as soon as I stood up for myself he tried to manipulate and blame shift when I called him out on his cheating and lies. I walked away when he raised his voice after saying I would do so.. He laughed out loud and called me a Druggy (I used to take Cocain in order to cope with the relationship). I walked away in tears. Later that night he sent me a message saying he realised there is more to life than Cherry and that the first woman who smiled at him he was getting together with. I ts him Ok. He's trying to punish me for standing up to him. Those words cut like a knife and it's taking me all my strength not to cry as I'm sat in my Kitchen. 🍒
@@cherrybacon3319 Its no problem. Ive stopped telling my friends really. Think they sick of hearing now 🙄 But unless you have experienced Narc abuse 1st hand its difficult to empathise with how deeply it damages you. Its not like other relationships it crucifys your heart, sould and sanity. Stay strong. 😍
I stayed for 8 years, coercive control took place, I was financially dependent on him, he refused to fix water heater for 4 years and we also didn't have gas for 1 year and 2 months, I lived in depression and tension most days, there was physical abuse, there was sexual coercion, there was verbal abuse (which started during my pregnancy), I struggle with anger but more than anything sadness, a sadness that won't go away. He is dragging divorce, he is running his mouth with all my family members, he won't stop.
They never stop. Your story is almost identical to mine. Almost. I stayed fir 19 years, because he threatened to kill himself if he lost our daughter or if I left. He actually fell to his knees one day when he could see I was about to walk. And the threat of him committing suicide did the trick as always. So I stayed and acted as a buffer between him and our girl. When I did flee, and I truly fled, he also told lies about me. But he'd been doing so for some years I found out, preparing the ground so that I would not be believed. And he delayed and evaded the suppress just as yours did. He even went on the run for three days so he didn't have to accept service of the court order. He delayed the sale if the house to such an extent we lost about 30,000. And he delayed every reply to letters till the very last minute of the deadline and then the reply would have nothing to do with the queries necessitating another letter and another deadline ad nauseum. He ran up costs so that I had to pay 7k more than if he'd just cooperated. Hebinterfered with my bank account and life insurance. He told my family I was an alcoholic drug addict so raddled that I wasn't competent. He lied and lied and lied to our girl to the point she hated me. She was just about to depart for university but I'd had a total nervous breakdown and when he said I could stay till I found somewhere else I was relieved. But then he added that I would have to sleep in the garage on the beanbag. Like our dogs used to . That's when I realised I wasn't safe and if I stayed , I'd go insane. Which is what he wanted. He wanted me either committed to hospital or dead. He didn't care that his own costs were rising too. As long as he was hurting me. But I got away and cut contact. That was seven months ago. He can't get to me directly so now he's harming our child by withholding medical care that she needs. He has health insurance through his work and it's a family policy. She's fully covered but when she asked for help he demurred with muffled excuses of ' I don't know...things at work.. different..'. So she has been suffering in pain for months. She finally came to me and I've sorted things by just paying out of the house settlement. Which I can't afford to do as I'm registered disabled, about to turn 60, a nervous wreck and pretty much unemployable and need the settlement to generate a small income. But that's what he intends. To whittle away at my finances so I become penniless. He knows I won't leave our girl's health to deteriorate. She's also experiencing severe anxiety now. Very severe. Panic attacks. Grades dropping needing extensions for assignments.... He's hurting her to hurt me. It's called Abuse by Proxy. Look it up. It's sick. And shesnso confused as she idolises him. But h e doesn't care. At all. And the worst? His sisters have supported him in his lies when our daughter was staying with them. And they knew, because over the past couple or three years, I've made empassioned pleas for help. And they have deliberately supported his fantasy and showed him up in the eyes of our daughter. Same with his friends. So she's not been betrayed just by him, but his entire social circle too. That myself and our girl had counted as friends. They are complicit. And I absolutely despise them for their spineless behaviour. If I saw them all on fire, not only would I not pass on them to put out the flames, I'd dance in their ashes.
@@purplelavender7416 Thank you for your kind d thoughts. I'm so shocked at just how many of us there are. But I'm pleased that it is recognized now, as abuse and that the further treatment of abuse by Proxy is now known, though I think not that widely yet. It's going to take many years for a full recovery, if that's even possible as it's been for my father and the 1st and 2nd husband's too. Basically my whole life. But I'm not unique. This is all just so wrong on so many levels. What what is going on guys? How can this be in the millions and millions? What is wrong with us as a species that we do this? I'm really glad you're doing so much better, it's awful what you were put through, but you are free, as long as you keep the no contact you should continue to make good progress.
Tbh I used to go silent and do the silent treatment because I didn't want to argue for 8 hours going around and around in circles, I didn't want a apology I just knew if the fight happened it would go on and on for hours and it was to draining
You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love. Don't let anyone else's harmful actions or words define your worth or impact your well-being.
Toward the end of marriage I saw the silent treatment as a reward, not a punishment. I could just go do what I wanted without having to listen to his BS
Need your feedback on this 🙏🏻 . I had been in a relationship with a narc from the past 8 years somehow we got engaged three months ago then she forced me to discard her with the plan she came up with just to play as a victim and i ended the relationship right after. But still i can feel hoovering on my social media. What she tryna do now? To punish me or what?
Hey Ben, what's this book you are reading from? Btw, I like the way your channel has improved in the past months... the quality of the material you're bringing is so good and the way you explain it makes it way easier to understand. THANK YOU!!! :D
@@RawMotivations This book seems soo good. You've mentioned it in several videos. I just got the eBook and will read it. Ben, keep it up!! This material is helping many people. My divorce was finalized 2 weeks ago, and finally I'm legally FREE. I'm grateful for all the things I learned from your channel :D
As his wife I was his “competition” and I never signed up to be.
I was too. It’s so sad.
I had no clue I was his competitor until h e started trying to destroy me
The sudden rage towards kids in the middle of having a good time..... is the single most traumatic betrayal I've ever witnessed. Ever.
Narcissists are 100% sadistic!
So true! My ex broke up with me before Christmas and already was sleeping with his next door neighbor. I didn’t know about his affair and was asking him to meet and talk about our relationship. When we’ve met all I could hear from him was the word salad and he was looking at me with the smirk on his face while I was crying. In a week he posted pictures on social media with his new supply that he started dating while we still where in the relationship.
@@kseniadenesiuk3514 I am SO sorry to hear that. You poor darling. You don't deserve that. Just think about the fact that now you have stepped on and up. Leave him in the gutter where he belongs. I hope you're going ok now. Sending you love and prayers.
My ex would punish me or try to punish me all the time. The silence treatment is one that he used a lot or yelling & calling me names rude disrespectful name's, trying to make me jealous it was so sick. I'm still healing from all the shitty crap he put me through. The worst relationship I have ever been in.
It was never a relationship only dictatorship
Same here and what’s worse is he turned around and called me a narcissist. 2 months later and I’m still researching like crazy if I am one. Also he was never one genuinely sorry. He even told me once he regretted ever meeting me and I was the worst thing to ever happen to him…I truly believed those words and then he would casually say behind ALL that “but I love you.” NO ONE understands how I can’t get OVER this that easily. On one hand the abuse was TORTURE but when things were okay, they were good! I miss the moments he and I could genuinely laugh but he’s off trying to get into a new relationship while I’m desperately trying to heal and trust I’ll meet someone who genuinely loves me (and doesn’t say DEMEANING SHIT TO ME DAILY)
My ex said I was a narcissists haha he's so LAME!! I told him look it up stupid probably has his picture next to the definition smh. I told him go away already don't you have some supply to go torment
Psychopath Free was a really helpful book, thank you for suggesting it Ben. It's amazing the way that narcissistic behavior patterns line up perfectly with the way that certain people act and speak. Even when you and Lee talk about things that narcissists say, sometimes the narcs I have known will have said the exact same phrase down to every word. It's eerie.
I read the book too, it is really great!
@@johncrews5160 Nice! The more people healing and learning about this stuff the better.
I know. It is strange. It seems like all narcissists share the same play by play handbook. Is there a secret narcissist support group like on the dark web were they share secrets and strategies about how to ensnare their next target? Such as using certain catch words and phrases, how to act and react, what to say, and so on? The narcs. I have dealt with have seemed like carbon copies of each other. I realize there are differences as people are diffrent, but my gosh it seems they are identical twins. Do they have some kind of telepathy going on? How about exhibiting the same behaviors as like copying each other and saying the same identical thing per vadium. Really weird.
There is no self doubt about it. I’m confident and people who are jealous have no idea how to get there!
It's like they're always trying to get back at themselves for their shitty behavior...through you. Such a twisted paradigm.
I'm struggling again today I appreciate your videos but I'm struggling I'm crying I still can't believe that another human did so much hurt and pain to me I'm a strong person I'm a smart person I just can't believe how deep rooted the pain is I'm getting better again I appreciate your videos and I appreciate your honesty peace
Perhaps behind it all, the main reason is "the Original Sin"... a deepest envy of YOU🔥
Thx👍
Thankyou. For the moment I'm stuck. One day I will escape. And once I do I'll never look back.
Hope these videos will help you find your way! Wish you the best
The last one hit very hard, the pain they cause gives them a sadistic pleasure and they get fed by it....I just can't comprehend. I remember thinking about drawing a line to the side of a window whenever I was cry smoking thanks to him- as a reminder. When he heard this idea of mine, the notsohidden diabolic wry smile appeared on his face. Not gonna forget that moment. Thanks for helping our healing process, Ben! What you are doing is so precious!!
Thank you
The Lord changed my heart and ripped me out of my marriage.. i married him 1 month after my heart was changed, and i was taken out of that hell 6 months later. Been apart now for 7 months. its been two weeks now i've been mentally and emotionally 'free'. Its the first time in my adult life, i'm alone. working on yourself is TRUTH. Seek Christ. He is the only TRUTH that will truly rid you of this awful darkness that preys upon kindness. So glad i have my strength back, no longer sick. if it had not been for the last 2 years, i wouldn't know myself like i do now.
Amen!
They don't give a shit about their children. It's for their image
THANK U SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS MY LIFE HAS BEEN. DESTROYED THROUGH MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT.
AND WITH HOLDING NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS SO CRUEL.
I confronted the narcissist in my life. Through letters. To my surprise, he crumbled down.
I never lied, didn't exaggerate, just sticked with the truth, I took back the narrative.
He read every letter, like a compulsive would do. He read every word and it sticked.
Holding them responsible will not change their minds, it will make them react to you in all kinds of ways, but it's healing to confront them and take the narrative back into your hands.
I gained my self respect back.
Do it while you are in therapy and really over the relationship. And are in a safe place. They will read every word you write to them.
I wrote over 24 emails to him and to my surprise he read them all. Because they need to know what you have to say. It's super weird. They need to control the narrative.
Just don't let them. Take your voice back. They will see that you changed already and don't fall for it again. And it makes them crumbling down.
It's important that you write from an adult perspective. Let the therapist deal with your wounded inner child, because this needs healing as well.
But to get into your adult mode and writing letters to him and hold him accountable like an adult would do, without excuses for his behavior and without acknowledging his past etc, is very powerful to gain your self respect back.
It does not matter how they react as long as you are safe. It's NOT about convincing them, you won't. It's about control over the narrative and owning your own voice.
You were silent all those years.
He tried to call me, but I didn't pick up. He tried to drive to my house, I didn't open the door or said I don't want him to see ever again.
I don't want to hear his voice , I don't want to see him again. I just continued to write every single event down and how he failed to create a psychological healthy relationship with me. And how disappointed it was. And I wrote those letters in my own speed. Sometimes I send them, sometimes I don't. Whatever felt comfortable to me.
He crumbled. He called me crazy, he called me names, he said that I was full of revenge, unforgiving, asking me to stop (which I did not but gave him his own medication by saying, you can block me and don't read them. Just block emails from me and I can write whatever I want and you don't have to read this.
He couldn't block me and read all the letters, to my surprise actually.
They have to know. It's about power and control. It's their own weakness that they will read every single word you write about them.
And those words will stick. With them. I gained my voice back and my self respect. I wrote everything off my chest. And hold him accountable.
He wrote me that he misses me and loves me. I said no. That's not love, it never was. It makes him crumble down to see you have gained your voice back. And don't fall into the same trap again.
I watched a video of David Navarro on how to talk with a suspect (whom they already know that they are guilty), how to talk to them as an adult who owns the room and demands respect without being rude. Very helpful.
He cannot anymore, bye narc, get your supply somewhere else👋🏼🤚🏼
Really indepth content Ben, thank you. sometimes I find it hard to believe you're a Narc yourself! I'd say your a former Narc nowadays! your videos get better all the time! 💟💟💟🇬🇧
this is so DEAD ON!!! my husband, a now on Hospice and newly self aware, repentant Narc, who is retired AF SF specialized in interrogations and control up to and including physical coercion..... we appreciate your videos as he's learning about himself and gaining more awareness of the why's of his actions and the videos are validating for myself as his still wife and Survivor
From a common sense viewpoint, WTF would someone stay in a relationship with a pwNPD, who behaves like a child & withholds love & affection? No pwNPD is unique, they all follow the same rulebook; they know what they're doing & they know it's wrong but they don't care. What does a partner/family member to a pwNPD have anything to gain from this association? Absolutely nothing. No contact is the only way & never look back.
Mabye it's not that easy for some people ..we all think differently ..I wish I could go no contact without her constantly in my mind . .I spent 30 years with her. Split up for ten years after years of the silent treatment. .two of my sons came with me ..the youngest one stayed with her ..I fell for the crap again a year ago and now she is in my head again . I'm nearly 60 now and I want to help her so badly but know I can't . But I haven't got the common sense to let her go ..that's why I watch these videos .they help me heaps.
@@sphingosgoatius5638 I am 55 & this isn't my first rodeo but I can't imagine that many years of abuse, I'm sorry. Years ago, we didn't have access to all this information. Ben & Richard Grannon have excellent videos regarding the trauma bond. Remember, it's all lies, THEY are a lie, you are nothing to them but you are WORTHY & DESERVING of real love, being loved for who you are!
I love the questions u pause to ask so quietly and meaningfully. Thank u warrior
Mine cheated on me twice with women he knew I disliked. He got caught both times and continued the affairs. I believe it's his way of paying me back for exposing him. It's such a sick, toxic cycle.
I saw my Ex yesterday. The conversation was Ok at first but as soon as I stood up for myself he tried to manipulate and blame shift when I called him out on his cheating and lies. I walked away when he raised his voice after saying I would do so.. He laughed out loud and called me a Druggy (I used to take Cocain in order to cope with the relationship). I walked away in tears. Later that night he sent me a message saying he realised there is more to life than Cherry and that the first woman who smiled at him he was getting together with. I ts him Ok. He's trying to punish me for standing up to him. Those words cut like a knife and it's taking me all my strength not to cry as I'm sat in my Kitchen. 🍒
I feel your pain. But your worth more and deep down you know it x
@@amandahines9718 Thank you. To have a stranger support me more than any of my family or so-called friends means something. Thank you once again X
@@cherrybacon3319 Its no problem. Ive stopped telling my friends really. Think they sick of hearing now 🙄
But unless you have experienced Narc abuse 1st hand its difficult to empathise with how deeply it damages you.
Its not like other relationships it crucifys your heart, sould and sanity.
Stay strong. 😍
Soul 😅
I stayed for 8 years, coercive control took place, I was financially dependent on him, he refused to fix water heater for 4 years and we also didn't have gas for 1 year and 2 months, I lived in depression and tension most days, there was physical abuse, there was sexual coercion, there was verbal abuse (which started during my pregnancy), I struggle with anger but more than anything sadness, a sadness that won't go away. He is dragging divorce, he is running his mouth with all my family members, he won't stop.
They never stop.
Your story is almost identical to mine. Almost. I stayed fir 19 years, because he threatened to kill himself if he lost our daughter or if I left. He actually fell to his knees one day when he could see I was about to walk. And the threat of him committing suicide did the trick as always. So I stayed and acted as a buffer between him and our girl. When I did flee, and I truly fled, he also told lies about me. But he'd been doing so for some years I found out, preparing the ground so that I would not be believed. And he delayed and evaded the suppress just as yours did. He even went on the run for three days so he didn't have to accept service of the court order. He delayed the sale if the house to such an extent we lost about 30,000.
And he delayed every reply to letters till the very last minute of the deadline and then the reply would have nothing to do with the queries necessitating another letter and another deadline ad nauseum. He ran up costs so that I had to pay 7k more than if he'd just cooperated. Hebinterfered with my bank account and life insurance. He told my family I was an alcoholic drug addict so raddled that I wasn't competent. He lied and lied and lied to our girl to the point she hated me. She was just about to depart for university but I'd had a total nervous breakdown and when he said I could stay till I found somewhere else I was relieved. But then he added that I would have to sleep in the garage on the beanbag. Like our dogs used to . That's when I realised I wasn't safe and if I stayed , I'd go insane. Which is what he wanted. He wanted me either committed to hospital or dead. He didn't care that his own costs were rising too. As long as he was hurting me.
But I got away and cut contact. That was seven months ago. He can't get to me directly so now he's harming our child by withholding medical care that she needs. He has health insurance through his work and it's a family policy. She's fully covered but when she asked for help he demurred with muffled excuses of ' I don't know...things at work.. different..'. So she has been suffering in pain for months. She finally came to me and I've sorted things by just paying out of the house settlement. Which I can't afford to do as I'm registered disabled, about to turn 60, a nervous wreck and pretty much unemployable and need the settlement to generate a small income.
But that's what he intends. To whittle away at my finances so I become penniless. He knows I won't leave our girl's health to deteriorate. She's also experiencing severe anxiety now. Very severe. Panic attacks. Grades dropping needing extensions for assignments....
He's hurting her to hurt me. It's called Abuse by Proxy. Look it up. It's sick. And shesnso confused as she idolises him. But h e doesn't care. At all. And the worst? His sisters have supported him in his lies when our daughter was staying with them. And they knew, because over the past couple or three years, I've made empassioned pleas for help. And they have deliberately supported his fantasy and showed him up in the eyes of our daughter. Same with his friends. So she's not been betrayed just by him, but his entire social circle too. That myself and our girl had counted as friends.
They are complicit. And I absolutely despise them for their spineless behaviour.
If I saw them all on fire, not only would I not pass on them to put out the flames, I'd dance in their ashes.
@@littlescorpion6327 I'm so sorry to hear that, they're very good at making us feel worthless, I'm glad you're here getting educated.
@@purplelavender7416 Thank you for your kind d thoughts. I'm so shocked at just how many of us there are. But I'm pleased that it is recognized now, as abuse and that the further treatment of abuse by Proxy is now known, though I think not that widely yet.
It's going to take many years for a full recovery, if that's even possible as it's been for my father and the 1st and 2nd husband's too. Basically my whole life. But I'm not unique. This is all just so wrong on so many levels. What what is going on guys? How can this be in the millions and millions? What is wrong with us as a species that we do this?
I'm really glad you're doing so much better, it's awful what you were put through, but you are free, as long as you keep the no contact you should continue to make good progress.
They never stop. You have to completely block anyone that sways to that narcs side in anyway
THANK YOU. Glad I found your channel today. Subbed, liked. thanks!
Loved the video👍👍
What do you think of “ steal , kill and destroy”?
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 -
The devil comes like a lion seeking whom he may devour.
Tbh I used to go silent and do the silent treatment because I didn't want to argue for 8 hours going around and around in circles, I didn't want a apology I just knew if the fight happened it would go on and on for hours and it was to draining
You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love. Don't let anyone else's harmful actions or words define your worth or impact your well-being.
Beautiful @@RawMotivations
Toward the end of marriage I saw the silent treatment as a reward, not a punishment. I could just go do what I wanted without having to listen to his BS
Need your feedback on this 🙏🏻 .
I had been in a relationship with a narc from the past 8 years somehow we got engaged three months ago then she forced me to discard her with the plan she came up with just to play as a victim and i ended the relationship right after.
But still i can feel hoovering on my social media. What she tryna do now? To punish me or what?
Hey Ben, what's this book you are reading from? Btw, I like the way your channel has improved in the past months... the quality of the material you're bringing is so good and the way you explain it makes it way easier to understand. THANK YOU!!! :D
Thank you. Narcissist in your life by Julie Hall
@@RawMotivations This book seems soo good. You've mentioned it in several videos. I just got the eBook and will read it. Ben, keep it up!! This material is helping many people. My divorce was finalized 2 weeks ago, and finally I'm legally FREE. I'm grateful for all the things I learned from your channel :D
@@samwalker3660 I am so glad to hear that!!
This is all sooooo nuts
This is good
I need help
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones
Because it's Monday, and Monday is BDSM night.
Unbothered, I was born in dysfunctional family
Sadly, sounds like our government!
It's like all governments, they are all narcissists tbh doesn't matter where you are from it's only now that we see it
If Kids are just pawns .that says it all about them. Psychos
wow
Its sick - whats yours is mine and what is mine is mine, and if you do not comply get out of my life