Hi Kenny, I caught that you said that you dress the way you do because it makes you feel authentic. I realized that I don’t wear my favorite clothes because I will be judged by others that choose to wear jeans, sweats, ect. I like wearing dresses even to a doctor’s appointment. I feel like I will be judged. I purposely dress accordingly to the environment I’m in. Obviously camping doesn’t count. Haha.
43:54 Distinguishing what one likes or not like can be a useful tool. Just realized clues are all around us for us to reveal who we are. Lately I have found that daily quiet moments in a comfortable setting outdoors works for me. Found that alone did not necessary meant being dissociated if I could 'feel' my feeling. I even glimpsed a minute of lightness and joy being able to sense my surroundings without any self-judgement or what I was going to do for dinner. This happened after going through two weeks of self/soul searching that brought out THE origin of anger and fear that was overlooked in quite a few occasions when I have previously done this sort of self-examination that proved unproductive.
It’s ironic because my childhood trauma was so messed up. Clutter and mess causes me to be uncomfortable. My husband’s trauma causes him to hoard cause clutter, and he ignores messes. He lacks awareness of the responsibility of his behavior.
In this moment of my life I'm realy happy of not having connection with my narcisistic mother. About the connection with my grandious narc father I'm happy too of not having it, but what's amazing to me is that I feel a big big connection with my father ancestors. That gives me a lot of power and connection to nature. I'll work for the first time in my life (55 yo) with animals, trees and plants, as my ancestors did. I feel proud and happy. Thanks "grategrandmas". Also thankyou grandmas. ❤
Real internal self image changes take time, knowledge and truth. People are coping with their wounds and don't become aware of the deeper cause unless they can face their pain, which is not supported in the society or upbringings. The more suffering from abuse, the more willing I become to disrupt my beliefs and then deconstruct what is going on to avoid further abusive treatment even by my self. Thanks for the open loving teaching you are passionate about and provide us with empathy. Grace and truth plus time.
I wasn’t allowed to express my anger either as a child. I did express what I thought in a non-violent verbal way, which frustrated my dad. I would have told my dad at age 13. I am not going to drink that alcohol. He would be angry and throw a tantrum. Literally saying who do you think you are not listening to me. I would have been punished. I still would not have drank alcohol. I am excited to see the end my hope is that there is a resolution for her behavior. I did dissociate, so my dad thought I didn’t have feelings. In reality I did care if my dad loved me. I cared more about my values. Drinking to me was bad because alcoholism is an addiction in the history of my parent’s family on both sides, so I chose not to drink alcohol. That’s how I became Codependent, which I recently learned the name for what’s wrong with me? I did become aware of it recognizing my pattern of behavior with my alcoholic relative, which is fear of abandonment.
Hi Kenny, this video helped me by seeing this example of dialogue. I became aware from watching this 54 minute video. My therapy session is disrupted because of my anxiety. I do trust my therapist. My fear is to be abandoned when my issue is not resolved. What I’m aware of now is that the fear is the obstacle, which I am responsible for.
For whatever reason i feel a disdain in myself for that better version. Its beyond just an uncomfortable flng or fear. There is more to that sensation. It can make u downright hate the better version because its that unfamiliar and was never allowed in. Especially if grown in an environment of pure negativity. I dont think its as simple in our minds as breking a parental bond- its how the heck to we get to stop hating and being threatened by this side weve never felt. Sometimes if someone gives me praise it makes me want to underperform because it feels foreign and threatening.
I’m so glad the end of the video was so heart warming thank you for this video ! Everyone in the comments be proud of where your at and love yourself !! 💚
She’s unaware that she’s judgmental because of “ thoughts “ she has about others who she allegedly blames for judging her. See how thoughts cause needless anger, stress, anxiety, and pain. The important lesson here is to be responsible for our feelings, and to be mindful about our emotions, behaviors, and reactions. ie.. In reality she is judgmental, and she is responsible for her anger. Not one person in that room did anything to her.
Well Ill be working with you one day. I go to therapy and have horrible PTSD coming up. And they are like, "Its expected. But its on you." And overload me with prescriptions.
Thanks for such a mind-blowing content!! Why I feel shame for not knowing things like(swimming,driving).I too feel shame when i miss the ball,i drop the catch . What's the reason and how to get rid of this embarassed
Hello Kenny, Thanks for this video. You know, the problem now I am having as I realise the dangerous role our parents play , is that I can't look at parents in the loving, friendly way I used to. I understand our limitations as human, forgiveness, and all, but now I look at mothers in particular and imagine scary creatures, not a loving figure 😢 The issue I have now is that I don't trust myself as a mother anymore ! I don't know what I am ! Am I an enmeshing monster! Am I a danger to my kids ! I can't be acting with the flow and comfort I used to have before:(
That is a very normal reaction when we get into truth and start learning all the things we were never taught, much like riding a bike for the first time. We think about everything. As we practice and learn more, we can do it without thinking or, as you say, in flow. Therefore, the solution is to keep learning, keep growing, and face your perfect imperfections, and in time, it will come easily.
@kennyweiss thank you for this advice. It does help. I am staying physically distant now from my kids , and trying to limit my interactions as I feel I need to grow and learn allot to be able to be safely around them, as I need to examine where my reactions are coming from. I read a text message from my daughter today, and I was defensive , I read it again after 2 hours while being calmer, and it gave a completely different meaning! Scary Current Education system is really a disaster
Got it anger , rage, inadequate, rejection etc. Still in behind my back to carryon with all unnecessary burden. Iam trying to get out of all these annoying that triggers my past.😅
Is this for real? As an adult if I remembered that my dad told me to drink alcohol, my answer would be that my dad was ridiculous; he was setting me up to be an alcoholic. That’s common sense. I would not be angry. I would have told my dad I am not drinking alcohol it’s poison. I had boundaries. That’s why my dad wanted me to leave. So as an adult, I did have issues with setting boundaries related to rejection. I am working on that. I’ve learned not having boundaries is abandoning myself, ironically.
I swear its like I was in the session and now I get it about being rich! Thank you Kenny!
Hi Kenny, I caught that you said that you dress the way you do because it makes you feel authentic. I realized that I don’t wear my favorite clothes because I will be judged by others that choose to wear jeans, sweats, ect. I like wearing dresses even to a doctor’s appointment. I feel like I will be judged. I purposely dress accordingly to the environment I’m in. Obviously camping doesn’t count. Haha.
I’m glad for her to become aware of her self worth. My hope is she discovers her authenticity.
43:54 Distinguishing what one likes or not like can be a useful tool. Just realized clues are all around us for us to reveal who we are.
Lately I have found that daily quiet moments in a comfortable setting outdoors works for me. Found that alone did not necessary meant being dissociated if I could 'feel' my feeling. I even glimpsed a minute of lightness and joy being able to sense my surroundings without any self-judgement or what I was going to do for dinner.
This happened after going through two weeks of self/soul searching that brought out THE origin of anger and fear that was overlooked in quite a few occasions when I have previously done this sort of self-examination that proved unproductive.
It’s ironic because my childhood trauma was so messed up. Clutter and mess causes me to be uncomfortable. My husband’s trauma causes him to hoard cause clutter, and he ignores messes. He lacks awareness of the responsibility of his behavior.
In this moment of my life I'm realy happy of not having connection with my narcisistic mother. About the connection with my grandious narc father I'm happy too of not having it, but what's amazing to me is that I feel a big big connection with my father ancestors. That gives me a lot of power and connection to nature. I'll work for the first time in my life (55 yo) with animals, trees and plants, as my ancestors did. I feel proud and happy. Thanks "grategrandmas". Also thankyou grandmas. ❤
Real internal self image changes take time, knowledge and truth. People are coping with their wounds and don't become aware of the deeper cause unless they can face their pain, which is not supported in the society or upbringings. The more suffering from abuse, the more willing I become to disrupt my beliefs and then deconstruct what is going on to avoid further abusive treatment even by my self. Thanks for the open loving teaching you are passionate about and provide us with empathy. Grace and truth plus time.
Beautifully said.
And you are very welcome.
I wasn’t allowed to express my anger either as a child. I did express what I thought in a non-violent verbal way, which frustrated my dad. I would have told my dad at age 13. I am not going to drink that alcohol. He would be angry and throw a tantrum. Literally saying who do you think you are not listening to me. I would have been punished. I still would not have drank alcohol.
I am excited to see the end my hope is that there is a resolution for her behavior.
I did dissociate, so my dad thought I didn’t have feelings. In reality I did care if my dad loved me. I cared more about my values. Drinking to me was bad because alcoholism is an addiction in the history of my parent’s family on both sides, so I chose not to drink alcohol.
That’s how I became Codependent, which I recently learned the name for what’s wrong with me? I did become aware of it recognizing my pattern of behavior with my alcoholic relative, which is fear of abandonment.
Hi Kenny, this video helped me by seeing this example of dialogue. I became aware from watching this 54 minute video. My therapy session is disrupted because of my anxiety. I do trust my therapist. My fear is to be abandoned when my issue is not resolved. What I’m aware of now is that the fear is the obstacle, which I am responsible for.
Anger isn't always fear. Healthy anger is a physiological response to injustice and helps to give energy into setting things straight
This woman is me. I did a redo in my life around my 30’s but could not land a job due to societal restrictions.
Full of love coming out... brilliant!
thank you Kenny, I learned so much and cried through the entire video!
For whatever reason i feel a disdain in myself for that better version. Its beyond just an uncomfortable flng or fear. There is more to that sensation. It can make u downright hate the better version because its that unfamiliar and was never allowed in. Especially if grown in an environment of pure negativity. I dont think its as simple in our minds as breking a parental bond- its how the heck to we get to stop hating and being threatened by this side weve never felt. Sometimes if someone gives me praise it makes me want to underperform because it feels foreign and threatening.
I’m so glad the end of the video was so heart warming thank you for this video ! Everyone in the comments be proud of where your at and love yourself !! 💚
She’s unaware that she’s judgmental because of “ thoughts “ she has about others who she allegedly blames for judging her. See how thoughts cause needless anger, stress, anxiety, and pain. The important lesson here is to be responsible for our feelings, and to be mindful about our emotions, behaviors, and reactions. ie.. In reality she is judgmental, and she is responsible for her anger. Not one person in that room did anything to her.
This is so relatable to my journey
Well Ill be working with you one day. I go to therapy and have horrible PTSD coming up. And they are like, "Its expected. But its on you." And overload me with prescriptions.
All I can say is wow! This was such a powerful video. I got a lot out of it! Thank you so much, Mr. Kenny.❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
This conversation has put so many things regarding my past into perspective. 🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️😖
Thanks
Thank you for the super like and the support. I really appreciate the donation.
It ALL MAKES SENSE! THAT'S IT, SELF WORTH.
Thanks for such a mind-blowing content!!
Why I feel shame for not knowing things like(swimming,driving).I too feel shame when i miss the ball,i drop the catch .
What's the reason and how to get rid of this embarassed
Amazing! I absolutely loved it. Thank you Kenny.
Hello Kenny, Thanks for this video. You know, the problem now I am having as I realise the dangerous role our parents play , is that I can't look at parents in the loving, friendly way I used to. I understand our limitations as human, forgiveness, and all, but now I look at mothers in particular and imagine scary creatures, not a loving figure 😢
The issue I have now is that I don't trust myself as a mother anymore ! I don't know what I am ! Am I an enmeshing monster! Am I a danger to my kids ! I can't be acting with the flow and comfort I used to have before:(
That is a very normal reaction when we get into truth and start learning all the things we were never taught, much like riding a bike for the first time. We think about everything. As we practice and learn more, we can do it without thinking or, as you say, in flow. Therefore, the solution is to keep learning, keep growing, and face your perfect imperfections, and in time, it will come easily.
@kennyweiss thank you for this advice. It does help. I am staying physically distant now from my kids , and trying to limit my interactions as I feel I need to grow and learn allot to be able to be safely around them, as I need to examine where my reactions are coming from. I read a text message from my daughter today, and I was defensive , I read it again after 2 hours while being calmer, and it gave a completely different meaning! Scary
Current Education system is really a disaster
Got it anger , rage, inadequate, rejection etc. Still in behind my back to carryon with all unnecessary burden. Iam trying to get out of all these annoying that triggers my past.😅
Is this for real? As an adult if I remembered that my dad told me to drink alcohol, my answer would be that my dad was ridiculous; he was setting me up to be an alcoholic. That’s common sense. I would not be angry. I would have told my dad I am not drinking alcohol it’s poison. I had boundaries. That’s why my dad wanted me to leave. So as an adult, I did have issues with setting boundaries related to rejection. I am working on that. I’ve learned not having boundaries is abandoning myself, ironically.
woman sounds vexed that she wasnt born into money