Hi Dan, Thanks so much for your excellent work. Using your ex-back system, a seemingly impossible situation was turned around and my wife has now been back living with me for the past few months of which I'm super grateful. However, I'm getting frustrated now because of the lack of intimacy and emotional stonewalling she exhibits. I'm currently following Make Her Love you For Life which is quite amazing, but progress seems super slow and I feel like she is always half-in, half-out of the relationship. There's a massive amount of guidance in that program and it's often hard for me to know what to focus on! Out of the pillars and concepts that you talk about, what are the best concepts and practices to start with to get her to commit to the relationship and be open to expressing intimacy and affection? Cheers
Congrats on getting your wife back! That's so great to hear. About her not being fully into intimacy at the moment: That's a common problem in marriages, not just ex back situations. I would recommend that you focus on the following sections in the Make Her Love You For Life Program. 1) Communication 2) Respect 3) Sexual Attraction. This video will also help you: ruclips.net/video/HHSamPlVsXs/видео.html Just make sure that she doesn't see you appearing upset, rejected or insecure when she isn't being intimate. Remember what I teach in the program about love and laughter. Enjoy the great times ahead!
Thanks for the quick reply Dan. You are a machine to be cranking out so many replies and are a true gem to be reaching out to help so many of us guys in similar situations. (I hope that you guys out there can appreciate how busy this gent is!) Your advice was perfect for my situation and after reading it, noticed I was getting uptight, visibly moody and insecure when she was knocking me back from a kiss or whatever. The love/laughter approach will be the focus from now on, as well as intensive study of the 3 sections that you mentioned. I've found that it sometimes takes quite a few listens of your work for it to really sink in, because we men often think that we know it all :) Thanks again for your brilliant advice and I'd love to book in a coaching call in the near future. Cheers!
You're welcome mate and than you for appreciating my efforts. It's men like you who make running The Modern Man (50 hours weeks) worth it. Men who learn, take action and get results. That's what it's all about. Enjoy the great times ahead! BTW: Yes, it would be great to chat if you ever need a phone coaching call. All the best in the meantime.
Watching your videos gives me hope. I am on day 8 without contact. I am speechless because of this video. It really makes sense to me. God bless you. I will let you know what happens as soon as possible. Wish me luck everyone. Blessing to everyone from Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico.
Hey Dan, just wanted to say I've watched a lot of "relationship coaches" the last few days, but you are truly the first one I've listened to that I feel is speaking to my situation in a realistic/appropriate/ and helpful way! If I didn't find you, I'd think I'd HAVE to go through a 30 day no contact period to make this work....and I simply don't think that is true in my situation. I am simply seeking how to rapidly change as a boyfriend and man in general. I understand there will be a process, I just feel very reassured when you defend the "lover" side of being an ex too. You don't need to cut your ex off to prove you're a man, you prove that with every word of advice you give :)
Bro, this is by far the best relationship advice I have come across. This guy really knows his shit as I already been through this an do the same exact things he speak of. A lot of people selling gimics, this is by far the real deal. Good job man!
God damn it... I spent so many hours watching other dating advice channels and nobody could help me... Thanks Dan!! I would've fucked up again if not for this video.
Hi Dan. I’m a big time fan of your videos. They have helped me out in profound ways. I currently in a rocky relationship with a woman who got out of an abusive marriage. She is amazing woman with two amazing children. We started off going too fast and now we slowed down to friends where we are building a relationship that we can fall back into. You are one of the few relationship experts that recommended staying in contact and to be friends so the attraction can build. It is hands down the best advice I could have received. Every ex I’ve had in the past I’ve walked away from and didn’t look back. There’s something different about this one. I want to stick around with this one and really build something long lasting. Thank-you again for your profound advice.
I had to use only email contact, moved out per her request (from Belgium back to US) and amped up FB, joined a band, resumed successful career. When I saw that she was shopping for the morning after pill on our Amazon acct, I let her know that I would not tolerate that. Now shes just furious.
Dan is the man. He's exactly right and you'd be crazy not to listen to these pearls of relationship wisdom. He understands the psyche of how women feel and the process of their attraction and relationship needs. Basically try to be in the same mindset you were when the relationship started. Stop sulking and stroking your wounded ego. Don't interact with her until you get your emotions under control and have a plan to be ok with or without her. I know it's painful and thinking about her with another man can literally kill you inside but we have to be strong or she'll never want you back in her life. Know your value, grind to become a better man physically, emotionally and financially. When you do this, you will be ok with or without her.
Man I can't thank you enough for this. We broke 4 days ago and she told me EXACTLY the same reasons you mentioned at 8:45 (it's not you it's me and so on). She told me she wanted a break to see if she regains feelings for me after a few months. If it werent for you, I surely wouldn't contact her out of fear she might think Im needy. I will contact her in a few days but I'm not exactly sure what to tell her. Should I say if she wants to go for a drink? Or go see a movie in a theater?
This video is really powerful for me...I've seen soo many videos but this 1 feels soo true to me... My ex broke up with me years ago but i feel i am a new improved man now since then mentally that evan if she does not come back to me i will still be happy... I sent out a snapchat request to her a few days ago and she accepted it, i seen her post but not done anything yet....At the time i was madly in love with her but as it has been ages its only normal that she may of moved on with someone else... I see her post a pic of her partner the other day... She did not see me see it i just didn't look that into it
married 19 years, 2 children. Typical "love you but not in love with you, not attracted". Still living together, but basically separated, and she is going through a mid-life crisis too. I got hit so hard with this that I have been depressed, anxious, 0 self-esteem and confidence. So problem is that any interaction I never seem to reach the level of being in control and pushing her attraction buttons. Don´t know what to talk about with her, feel out of place. Cannot make her feel that attraction again, Im just lost. Cant make her laugh, etc.
Oh man, I think I can almost understand what you are going through.. I know my ex for 10 years, the same case as you but without the marriage and the kids. To be honest I was going to propose to her the month she broke up with me.. I don't want to either give you any hope, or kill any hope that you have either, but your only chance is No Contact. I made everything right after breakup. I followed all the advice I found from experts.. Nothing worked! It's been 6 months. There is really nothing we can do to reattract them. Once women (or men in that case) make up their mind it is usually final. Think about it, would you break up with someone you love or feel attracted or feel lucky to have them? The answer is no. So, in that case we have even less value than a stranger to them, because a stranger is potentially valuable, and we are not. But that doesn't have to do with us, it has to do with them. Realise that she doesn't value you and use that realization to fuel your anger towards her. Anger is basically what will help you move on.. At 6 months, for me is still ups and downs... The one day I am over her and the next I am depressed. She contacts me, she is cooooooold, ice cold and to the point. She doesn't even care if I am alive or dead. She deals with business and she hangs up... So she doesn't even give me chance to talk to her... It still hurts as hell. what's your story man?
Sorry for posting again... have you considered making changes? you live together, make changes surprise her and be another person.. But don't try to force it, don't make it look like you are making these changes for her. And distance yourself from her. you know her for 19 years... I am guessing (although I am not sure anymore about anyhting) that if you distance yourself from her asap, make some changes and let her reach out to you, that she will miss you and see you in a different light.. I don't know, nothing seems to work for me, so I don't really know.. Good Luck! :)
I'm in a spot where it's been almost 8 months since we broke up and we haven't talked since. I was just stupid in the relationship where i literally didn't do anything. We were together for 6 months and it was like a glorified best friend. I knew she really liked me and i really liked her back but i was scared of screwing up so nothing happened. Long story short i ran into her recently we talked briefly and went our separate ways. But that brief interaction brought back so many memories and feelings that now i'm just confused and have no idea what to do.
Dan, Purchased EBS and implemented it the most I could (I'm currently not as mobile -- had foot surgery) so the facebook posts were never done. My ex and I currently live together and have a kid together (Dated for almost 6 years). I continue to do all the other steps in the EBS system, but it seems as nothing is going anywhere. We did have a really open conversation about everything and she said she's started developing feelings for me again, she cooks, cleans, makes me lunch, calls me randomly to talk, etc, but she seems strong about keeping her guard up and will not engage in any intimacy. Your system keeps me fighting and has made me a lot more emotionally strong. I know I've made a lot of wins but it doesn't seem to be coming together. Our lease ends next month and I'd hate to lose the daily interaction piece. Advice for us currently living together and having daily interaction might be helpful! I just want to win my woman back! I'll be back walking from my surgery within a week or two if that means anything as far as having interactions outside our house. We've been broken up for almost three months. The main reason for us parting ways was she stopped being affectionate because I was too hard on her and was a jerk to her at times. She said she's afraid I'll go back to my old ways(because of stress) when I return back to work and school because "I had lied about changing before" although I've shown her I've changed the past few weeks. Is this just a waiting game now?
To prove that you've changed, you've got to let her see it day in, day out. She will gradually begin to see that you are for real now. Here are some free videos that will help you: ruclips.net/video/HHSamPlVsXs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/ULlNPFow0X0/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/MMIY68d_KCM/видео.html
My girl and I have been off and on for a while now. She has had a tough go this last year with lots of negative things happening and it was tough to accommodate so I just tried to be as supportive and nice as I could be. She walked all over me and eventually we ended. I love her completely and she is now telling me she is with another guy. I'm not ready to give up and move on. I love your information but my situation is much different I think and I would live to share the whole story with you! Please contact me.
This video will help you: ruclips.net/video/ys2cutNdOZs/видео.html BTW: Every break up and relationship is different, but what you need to do to get her back is the same.
Ok well what if she starts calling to talk and fall asleep otp with her is that an sign saying she misses me or misses talking to me if so what does that exactly means???
I could write a book but I will try to keep it kinda short. Thank you in advance. Basic story...married for 21 yrs, together for 24. Four kids; 19, 17, 15, and 7. 12 years ago I did cheat, for three years. It was non sexual more emotional but that still doesn't matter, it was wrong and probably ruined my family. I honestly never planned on leaving, it was just an escape from life and a poor choice. I was forgiven and taken back however two years later we split and went through all divorce procedures including me signing the papers. Before going to court she changed her mind and we recon sidled. We had a great 10 months (honeymoon phase) then planned another baby (7 yr old). I thought things have been good, although both her and I have been in a rut, or depressed the past few years. I was told that in my depression I ignored her need to feel loved and be held. Although I thought I was showing love in other ways, it wasn't what she looking for. She kept telling me, but I failed to listen. I had the wrong "love language" so to speak and was showing acts of service, and she felt that it was just me respecting her and not love. So up to date its been a huge push/pull situation...in November she told me she is done, shes not in love, shes not attracted to me, we need to be friends again, and so on. After Thanksgiving she moved into her grandfathers house for about a month. She stayed with him and my youngest during the week, she would come back home during the weekends and some week nights here and there. She moved back into the house first week of January because she hated not being under the same roof as her kids but she slept in a separate room. Even though she was here for the kids, she didn't do much with them. She has pushed them all away just as she pushed me away. I feel she is deeply depressed. I have been to counseling, she refuses as she knows what she wants although everyone can see she is depressed and not happy. We cannot afford a divorce although that has only been brought up during really heated arguments (4 or 5 times since November). A lot has transpired since November, but despite her actions of spending time with me, and seeming like we can start over, she is firm in her words that we are done. She is able to drop that on me like a ton of brinks. We have continued living together, and now we have to move. A few months ago when we were first made aware of a possible move, she wanted me moving in with the kids and her moving back in with her grandfather as we cannot afford to have two separate places, and she knows the family cannot afford to be without her income. She does not like living with her grandfather but if that is what she has to do for the family that is what she will do. Over the past 45 days, it has changed and all of us appear to be moving together (but she is only doing it because it is for the family). She continues to get mad at me, saying that I want something she doesn't want. I do want a relationship with her and admitted it several times, but a new one...not what we had because I know its over. She tells me that I am trying too fix the marriage and I cannot. I want to win her back, and start fresh but I do not know how to do it. I went away last month and while I was gone, she slept our bed for the week in the master. When I returned, we both feel asleep in the bed, and I have remained there since. No touching or anything but I believe it might be a positive step, since no way in hell I could have done that a few months ago. I also feel that her moving with us and us sharing a room is another positive step but I might be reading way too much. I really want her back but I do not know how. Any advice? Since, I already won her back once, am I doomed? I can't escape friend zone, and cannot cut contact. Now (a little late) I realize how much little things meant to her. She has told me she has given me enough chances, and I've broken her heart each time so no more chances. How can I show her I am truly changing if we are still living together. I appreciate your help. Thank you J
What happened is a month ago my ex left me because she lost attraction for me. We're both young and in the military. We used to be in a long distance relationship until I moved states to be closer to her. We rushed things and she moved into my apartment shortly after i moved, we even adopted a dog. We started arguing a few days after she moved in and soon she said she fell out of love and had she left for about a week for training intending to come back and pack up her stuff to leave. She left her laptop and I went through her messages to find out she's been talking to other guys and even cheated on me. I got mad and asked her if she cheated on me and she kept saying no until I sent her pics of the messages, I called her and was pretty pissed, blaming her for taking me away from my family, my friends etc. and saying I hated her for cheating on me. I didn't mean all the things I said but I was pretty livid. A couple weeks go by and I contact her hoping she isn't still cold. She was being pretty cold and distant. At this point I was ready to stop trying to salvage this. We decide it'd be best for her to keep the dog, she comes to pick it up. We discuss this is likely our last contact forever beforehand. She picks up the dog only to say, "I'll see you again." She never told me what it meant and she lives 3 hrs away. I don't see why she'd want to see me again. I can forgive the cheating and a part of me wants to start over because we were pretty good together, it was both of our longest relations (10 months) and she said I was the best bf she had, she said this as we were breaking up. Not sure what to do next. She's in another country for three weeks so meeting face to face isn't an option yet. Thanks in advance
I also made the mistake of trying to use logic, telling her I changed and all that, sending her a bunch of texts. I let my emotions get the better of me, luckily I never begged. I asked if she's willing to try again a couple weeks ago and she said the chance to try again won't come for awhile, that she's not ready yet.
Dan Bacon Thanks man, I think I know what to do now. But she's being cold at the moment however and she's in a different country for a few weeks, I can't reattract her if she keeps ignoring my texts, I know I can in person though. Should I just give her more time to cool down before contacting her again? I know in a lot of your videos you say no contact is typically a bad idea just gives her more time to move on, do you think this is one of those instances that it's called for?
Hey Dan, My girl and I were together for almost 2 years, when she suddenly broke up with me. At first she said that she just didn't love me anymore, and that she needed to grow. Later I found out that she saw me as controlling, and she was diagnosed with bipolar. I've gone to therapy to deal with my issues, she as well (including medication for bipolar), but she isn't seeing (or doesn't want to see) the change. I've pretty much gotten back to the old me, the one she fell in love with (before the controlling behavior started) but she's still resisting. She's kept in contact with me (she has to as we live together still) and has become more friendly although still scoffs at me anytime I try to move beyond friendship. I'm staying as calm and confident as I can, but everything seems to just roll off of her. She's opened up a little, but not enough for it to be considered intimate. We've been broken up for almost 3 months now, and while there is progress (can't be together without being friends first) it's stalling. Is there anything more I can do? Or do I just need to keep this up until she lets her guard down?
I've definitely been doing most of this (emotional strength, not "asking") but it seems like any attempt to make her more attracted to me fail. I know that I can re attract her (she was attracted to me before) but I seem to keep hitting a brick wall.
Great vid!!! Love it, interested in you would elaborate or perhaps do a video on the types of 'attraction experiences'... ~9 minutes, and not too many people discuss this, what types are there and what women want.
I don't have a video about that exact topic, but I do discuss that topic in a bit of detail in this video www.themodernman.com/blog/4-tips-on-how-to-get-an-ex-back-who-wants-nothing-to-do-with-you.html and this one ruclips.net/video/t48pGR7fO7A/видео.html To learn more, go to: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html
i broked up with my girlfriend one month ago ~ i just wanna know if there is a chance that she miss me? cause i did to harrass her after we broked up and regret about it~
M15yrs w/ 14yrs old daughter. My wife told me last month that she had the affair (with old friend of ours) when she traveled oversea 2 months ago for 10 days. These past month was very painful for me as she won't stop calling & texting him. She told me that she stop loving me long time ago. She feel that I never take good care her enough. She said "We can get divorce if I want to or if I can be cool with it, no-one has to know" b/c may be her new relationship won't work out since he live the other side across the world. Either she has to go oversea or he has to come or maybe meet somewhere between. Now she goes again (3weeks) for my daughter's summer camp and they will meet again. I don't want to lose her and my marriage. I don't want my daughter to know. I'm pretty sure that my wife won't build a new family with him. She just want him to fill her emptiness. What should I do to make my wife break up with him sooner and bring my wife's heart back. I wish I know you before all these happen to me Dan. Thank you in advance.
What a horrible situation. That must be torture for you now that she is going to see him again. I feel for you. About what you need to do: That's a personal choice. Do you want to even the playing field by sleeping with a new woman yourself? If not, are you going to be able to get the idea of him and her having had sex out of your mind when you and your wife have sex again? I recommend that you watch my videos about relationships at this point: ruclips.net/video/J0MtRKER1h4/видео.html If it turns into an ex back situation, you can then treat it like that. However, for now this is a relationship problem.
My friend told me that when his girlfriend left him a week later he spoke to her and tried being friends with her, then he told me that even though they broke up he talked to her everyday. And now that's what I'm doing because after a week of not talking to my ex girlfriend she told me that she felt bad that that we haven't spoke since the break. Then after a while we talked, I showed the conversation to a friend that's helping me and he said he can tell that she wants to talk to me still even though we are no more. I think he could be right because my ex girlfriend is lonely and hung out with no one but me last month
Hi Dan, I think you’re doing some great work, your advice is honest and to the point! I’m in a bit of a unique situation that isn’t really covered in your videos though; perhaps some sage advice could help! I’ve been dating someone since last November who’s become quite special to me (don’t they all?!) and me to her. Long story short, we fell in love within a few months the way such things go when they simply click. We’ve become intimate on a deep level both emotionally and physically; though despite this, in April she said she was holding back and didn’t know why. She was having trouble expressing her love for me (saying “I love you” first), though the feelings were definitely there. We stayed together, but then around the first week of June she broke up with me. She said she was in the same spot and nothing was changing for her. We’re both in our early 30’s and she didn’t want to waste my time or hers in our prime years. She wants a family with kids, as do I. We’re both divorced from previous marriages and I have a son. I told her that I understood and appreciated where she was coming from. I didn’t beg or plead for her to stay. That was on a Monday. We gave each other our keys and things back and said goodbye through tears and final kisses. I didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day and all the next. Then on the following night she asked to come over. She wanted to see me. When I opened the door she was upset and had been drinking which was all very out of character for her. We talked and she said she missed and loves me a lot and was very confused. She spent the night and for the next week and half since, we’ve stayed at each other’s places and hung out. She said she’s never done this after a breakup but the general discussion was that we both didn’t know what was going to happen. Then... she left three weeks ago for a (pre-planned, 50/50 solo and with friends) month long trip to Europe. Before she left I told her that “as much as my heart wanted to wait for her’s forever, it can’t because there will come a time where that behaviour is unhealthy.” I also told her I wasn’t going to be here waiting around for her; so go do her thing there, figure out what she wanted and I’ll be here working on me. She texted me right away when she landed to tell me she was safe. Since then we’ve been texting and swapping photos everyday; her of her trip and me having fun on my own adventures with friends and my boy. We occasionally talk on the phone. Some important notes: She initiates the majority of the communication with me (even when she was with her sister who she hadn’t seen in months); I’ve never in any form brought up our relationship, how she’s feeling about us nor if she’s come to any sort of decision; I flirt with her and keep all our conversations fun; when we talk on the phone there are laughs and effortless conversation; last week we had phone sex and it was great; she told me a couple times that she’s missing me, that she missed falling asleep next to me and seeing me. Some factoids about her: She is a doctor, is very independent but very easy going. In her marriage there was very little communication. No talking about feelings and never an argument. Never. The sex wasn’t very good. Her ex became directionless and her impatient, ending the relationship. She wanted more passion. Factoids about me: I’m all passion and romance. I’m the creative type and have no trouble expressing my emotions and connecting. Also, last year way before we met I was in really rough place financially and emotionally suffering; I was admitted for a suicide, of which I told her about early on and she was very supportive of. Since then I’m back on track and everything is going great! While she's been gone I've been kicking ass at work and back to exercising like my old self. So now that this is a long story... I’m not sure what to do when she gets home next week. I suspect she became uneasy with us because I wasn’t the confident guy she could see in me. I wasn’t quite there to my full potential and she was maybe struggling whether to stick around to see if I pulled through or not. I also feel like she’s scared of fully connecting in the deep and real relationship we have. Kind of like when you want something so bad and you finally get it, you’re scared and don’t know what to do with it. Or maybe none of that? Honestly, I’m worried that she’s spinning her wheels with me because she doesn’t want to be alone rather than choose to be with me. In the past I have been a bit heavy handed with talks about our relationship but since watching your videos and reading your site, all that has been going the way of the Dodo. Anyways, do you have any advice? Should I buy a puppy, maybe tell her I'm pregnant so she won't leave? Haha... ;) Thank you Dan; high fives! CV
Hey CV - apart from crying, admitting your suicide attempt to her and being heavy handed when talking about the relationship, you did everything else really well. I know, it sounds like I'm joking or being sarcastic, but I'm for real. Pretty much everything else you said or did what spot on. So, what should you do from here? Don't ever make her feel like she has to pity you again. Don't make her feel like she has to say, "I'm proud of you." Most women hate that kind of relationship because it makes them feel like a mother figure. She is clearly attracted to you and in love with you, but her gut instinct will tell her to move on if you keep making the same old mistakes. In your case, I would actually recommend that you watch my relationship program, Make Her Love You For Life because it seems like she will be open to being back with you when she gets back from her trip. Watch this: www.themodernman.com/blog/make-her-love-you-for-life.html
Hi, My wife has not yet separated from me, But she is already having another relationship and she does not hide it. She has lost attraction for me after ten years, we also have a kid of eight. She does not want to get separated but she is not in love with me anymore. What I have done is I had become too clingy, emotionally weak, at the same time I had taken her for granted. This new relationship of hers is going on for seven months.
Sorry to hear that. If you are interested in getting her to love you again and just want to be with you, I'd recommend that you watch these videos: ruclips.net/video/1vqNEN0cDCI/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/UIXbdS4Hfc8/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/J0MtRKER1h4/видео.html
Dan. So with my ex we dated for about 2 months and I would say it was never on fire, she's very busy with her career so it was difficult to make time. We didn't really connect on a deep level either. Anyways after about 2 months she said she didn't feel a spark and hadn't felt one really, but hung around to see if it developed cause i was such a nice and good catch. So after that we didn't talk for abut 3 weeks during which i worked on myself and thought i had become a real/confident man then I reached out again, and she said she would like to be friends. we hung out for a meal which went well then a week later went biking and surfing for the day with a group of friends after which we all went out on the town for drinks. During the day she made a few hints at that she just wanted to be friends mostly then that night i got a little too drunk and after she left to go home I wound up calling and asking her if we could talk about us, to which she said ok, but on the way i was so drunk my mate wound up taking me home instead and I txt her and said we would talk later. Anyways we haven't talked yet, but honestly I think right now I just need to step away from this and get my mind cause I'm not the man i need to be and honestly I think its gonna take more than a few weeks. I already set up a meet with her later this week to talk. My question is should I tell her that how I feel and that I just can't be friends cause I want more than that and it wouldn't be good for me emotionally and step away and maybe come back in down the road or what do you think?
Don't try to get her to commit to a relationship right now. Do this instead: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html If you want her back, don't focus on talking about the relationship. Focus on attracting her in the ways that you weren't, which is the real reason for the break up anyway. Sounds like you were too nice, too giving, too sweet, etc. She needs a guy who gets her to respect him, while also being a good guy to her.
Hi Ray - that's an extreme situation that needs a bit of work before she will unblock you. I don't have a free video about that topic yet, but I do explain what to do to get unblocked from social media in my program (you can then get her to unblock you on her phone) : www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html
Hi Dan. My ex of 9 months dumped me 2 and a half months ago. I agreed to it and walked away, no weak behaviours. During the month and a half after the break up, she would reach out once or twice per week. Sometimes about things regarding the house and belongings as i had moved out, and sometimes because she was drunk, lonely and needed someone to talk to as she said i'm the only person she feels she can talk to. She invited me over for coffee a couple of times. Said she missed me but we weren't right for each other. She had her own issues going on too, she hates being alone and hates being single. I never did anything to push her further away. After that month and a half, she stopped contacting me. I haven't heared from her in a month. Then i found out she is in a new relationship that she has been in for the past month. Happened pretty quick apparently. After 9 days of meeting him they we're already in a relationship on facebook. I don't hear from her now. What are your thoughts on this? Can i re attract her? And what is the best way? Thanks.
Hey Dan. appreciate your vids. your advice helped me reconnect with my wife who recently moved out. However, my wife lives with her parents now and they don't like me very much and it's holding the relationship back. What do you recommend when family makes things complicated?
Hi K - great to hear of your success so far. Stay strong. Believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her and let that come through when interacting with her. About her parents: I wrote an article on the topic (the title has "girlfriend" rather than "wife" but it's pretty much the same): www.themodernman.com/blog/my-girlfriends-parents-hate-me.html
What if she broke up with me and told me she doesn't want to be with me anymore right now, but she's always calling me and telling me that she wants to be with me and that she still loves me but she doesn't want to at the same time because I was too clingy and protective and we would fight a lot.
Will it work at my age 50 and ex wife 50, our kids are out of our lives and she is going through menopause. All she wants are "friends", she goes out every weekends, she is drinking a lot and just goes to the same bar for dancing with her crowd. She always coming home by 2am. We still live in the same home, waiting to sell it. We still talk a bit about the kids and about home stuff like cooking, shopping, cleaning the home, etc. She will sometimes talk about her nights out, her work days when they are bad, but not always. I don't ask she just volunteers the information. We are respectful and she has mentioned we need to stay friends for the kids.
She also lost Weight, so did I. She replaced most of her cloths and underware, more sexy stuff. She is trying very hard to attract someone else, and this has been 6 months since she announced she wanted a divorce. I did beg and fight for the relationship at the beginning but she didn't want me to beg. Then I have just given her nothing. She always informs when she is going out, but last night I went to my bed early and she went out without me knowing and came back at 2am a bit merry noticed the foot steps. Dog barked.
Dan, I really appreciate your video: I'm puzzled: I honestly thought my ex gf and I were really grooving! It was the 1st time in years that I had met a woman who I really liked and wanted to be around. A few months in, she pulled away, saying "she may be sabotaging us, she's not sure she really wants a relationship, and she needed space. I was super nice, did everything right, I thought! There was an incident that made her "put her major walls up again"! Not cheating or anything dishonest, but it made her question if I was the right man for her! In retrospect, I was too available, too nice, and I did show some neediness that resulted in an emotional text to her. I took a blackout phase of 2 weeks, no contact and composed a good text w/ humor to re engage her! Zero, Nada, no response thus far. Its been 1 day since my text and I just don't know what to do, Dan??! I think I blew it! Thanks in advance for any guidance!
Holy Smokes, Dan......I just read that and "WOW".....this scares the heck out of me! My immediate response is, "I don't think I can do it"! I can't believe I'm so fearful of this?!
I first really want to say I’m glad I found your page. I’ve been in a 13 year relationship and my fiancé and I have a child. today she has told me that she no longer knows who she is and she just doesn’t feel the same and that she needs space and has left. I really don’t know what to do she says she loves me and it’s nothing that I did or didn’t do. I just wondered if you have any advice for a situation like that because I would really like to get her back but the same time I still want to be fine if it doesn’t go that way and you seem to have some great insight and I was hoping you could help me? Thank you
Dan - we broke up the day after valentines day. A month earlier, she saw something on my phone (normal guy stuff) and flipped out. Although we discussed it laughingly, and agreed it was no big deal it became a big deal. She started pulling away, all the while dealing with things like her son being bullied, money, having to move. I reached out after 2 weeks, and she was totally willing to talk again. she pushed, asking if I was ok...which i dodged. but finally gave in and said yes, I was upset, etc etc. Yes I talked about the relationship a few times. And she said she wanted to be friends. Since then though, she's stopped responding even though we went to lunch about a month ago. Since, she's talked with my friends and complained that I am still trying to connect, talk, etc. Apparently once a week saying hello is too much contact? I haven't had any contact with her due to what she's communicated - wants no interaction, for fear the relationship will come up. I can't get her to meet up or even talk. Not sure what to do at this point except focus on myself.
Apart from pushing for a final meet up (see Option 2 here: www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-persuade-my-ex-to-meet-up-with-me-for-coffee.html), you would need to use the techniques from my program to make her miss you. I can't reveal those techniques here, but if you're interested, have a watch of this video: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html BTW: Yes, reaching out to just say hello once a week isn't the right approach. You have to focus on flirting with her and making her feel something if you're going to text her. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/cYV3ZjWEcEg/видео.html
so Dan - I went to kickboxing tonight where i used to teach. She's been training with my friends for a few weeks now. I knew about it, gave it a few weeks. I showed up today and helped class, she messaged me to ask if it was ok if she showed up. I said of course, there need not be anything weird between us. she showed up, and it was great. I will leave it there...it's finally a place where I can connect with no other issues and she was very receptive. Laughing at my jokes etc. So my plan is to just continue this momentum, and continue to interact in a positive way. Any advice moving forward?
Hey Dan, I've got your ex back program, alpha male power, and better than a bad boy. It's 2 years today that my ex broke up with me. I called her in November on my birthday and got her laughing and asked her to coffee but she said she wasn't available. I tried again a week later and we started emailing but it went dead. She talks to my family on Facebook and I talk to hers still. She told my friend that I had gotten unattractive, boring, and complacent in the relationship and then acted like a wuss during and after the break up and she felt like my boss or mom and was tired of making all the decisions. She really had loved me and wished I hadn't changed but she didn't think I was as much of a man as she wished I was and had followed through on my dreams harder. She got with a guy after me who she said was way more a man than I was at the end of our relationship. He left her for his best friends wife while I started seeing another girl for a year thinking that the new woman would get me over my ex, but it never happened. I am still in love with my ex and I broke it off with the new girl cause no matter how I hard I tried I couldn't fall in love with her like my ex. I was looking a wedding rings and wanted to have kids with my ex before she ended it. I whined, begged, pleaded, and then basically ignored her and that just pissed her off. When I saw her in person last, she was repulsed by me and was cruel and bitchy. The new guy she started seeing is a super effeminate and possessive mamas boy with a trust fund who takes my ex on trips and expensive dinners. I've grown, got my shit together, and am ready to reach out to my ex, but don't know where to start with the current situation. I know I'm the guy for her and I'm not needy or desperate anymore and I feel I've fixed my issues. We have a connection when we connected last. I started watching the ex back program and I wondered if you were gonna update that at all with what you know now since I bought it last July or does all the info still hold true. What do I do about her current guy? Have I waited too long? Should I play on our mutual contacts of friends and family? The last thing she said to my friend about me is that she's happy all these good things are happening in my life and that I got my shit together but she can't let it affect her life. She's moved on. I don't need her. I want her and I want her to go on this journey with me as I continue to succeed in life. Your newsletter said you'd give free advice for the next 3 days.
Hey - great to hear that you've made progress and become a better man. Yet, I am confused as to why you aren't following through on the steps in the program. That's why it's not working for you yet! :) You have to follow the steps. As for your next move, make sure that you've completed Step 3 first (very important) and then go to Step 4, 5, 6 and 7 and you and her will be back in a relationship. BTW: Yes, all the advice in the program is still what I would recommend right now 100%. Guys contact me every day via my website to say thanks and tell me they got their woman back. Follow the steps and you will get another chance! :) Here are two free videos that will help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/rufE8gXwKrg/видео.html
Hi Dan, My wife and I have been separated for 5 months, we just reconnected and decided to give it another try. She wants to take it slow since she has scars and fear deeply hurt. Since we have reconnected I feel like the past 3 days I'm the one initiating contact saying good morning, should I not text her for a few days and wait for her to text me? she stated she feels like the man should say good morning first....
What if she broke up with me because she has depression? I never was too soft or to hard on her. She hasnt left her house in 2 months now. Shes a piano player so she sits all day in house and does nothing more and only: eat, sleep, play etc - will these methods work?
my ex broke up with me & tried to move on with someone from our job.. & then I ended up hooking up with one of her cousin’s so my question is How do you get someone back after you slept with her cousin without knowing they were even related?
Hi dan been watching your vids came out of a 10 year relationship 4 weeks ago I have kids with her recently we have been hanging out as a family etc today we flirted etc I grabbed her picked her up and hugged her etc I believe theres still sexual attraction am I on the right path
Hey dan, my ex left me because I let my insecurities and jealousy get to me. She said she doesn’t wanna keep doing this, but she cares about me. She said she doesn’t want me hurt, and she’s talking to her ex who was friends with her for 4 years but they only went out for 2 weeks the first time because she couldn’t see him more than a friend. But she’s been talking to him and I think she might go out with him. I’ve asked for a second chance but she said no. And I left on a good note. And I blocked her so I don’t contact her idk what to do
hello Dan, few months ago my wife 0f 17 years divorced me. she chose her career over me. a month after divorce came back and asked me if a forgive her for divorcing me. what should I do or say? even though I still love her dearly.I just don't trust going back to her, I lack of enthusiasm and energy that I had when we were couple.
I have disappeared from her life. I am in NC, I handled the breakup PERFECTLY! NOTHING has changed.. Lol. The only think that has changed is that she moved on completely and I am still waiting for her to contact.. It's almost as funny as it is sad... p.s. when she reaches out, she makes it perfectly clear that she doesn't even care for me as a human being..
This is why I don't recommend NC. In most ex back cases, the woman doesn't feel attracted to her guy anymore, so she doesn't care if he goes NC. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/BWK8QjBoyao/видео.html
I understand. But I am not ignoring her. I am just not reaching out to her because when she contacts she me makes it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to talk to me beyond about what she is calling me for (business stuff). She doesn't even tell me "how are you", she just deals with business and hang up. I am in NC because she seems totally closed to communication. NC: I mean I am not reaching out to her, but I reply to her if she does. Also when I am saying that I wait for her to contact, I am wating for her to communicate with me as a human being that shows a little bit of caring, and not like a robot. Thanks for your reply Dan, I really appreciate that :)
That would be because you are either asking for a relationship or giving off the impression that you want a relationship. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
Hiya what do you get your ex back system really enjoyed it makes a lot of sense met up with my wife and tried playing it cool even know she dropped free big bombshells she said she wants a divorce soon as possible she'd even willing to say she cheated to get for it quicker even know she keeps telling me she didn't do I sign the paperwork or try to stall her any advice appreciated
Great to hear of your progress so far. If you have my program, you need to do Step 3 from the system (don't mention what that is here please! :) ). You should also watch this: ruclips.net/video/J0MtRKER1h4/видео.html
Hi Dan, I been split from my ex for about 6 or 7 weeks after being together for close to 6 years, since our split she has started seeing another man casually I been told via a mutual friend, in the beginning I have done all the wrong things... Begging and pleading and trying to convince I have changed!! I wish i read your stuff earlier!! I hga tried the catch up approach and shot down and I have come across as needy and desperate.... Since our break up I have changed quite a bit and understand that how much I love her and want her back!!! After being told she would rather not catch up my texts are replied to quickly but only one or 2 words and pretty cold.... How do i go about getting her to meet me and showing the change and looking to create the spark again..... Thanks so much for your help!!!
Dan Bacon!- how would you word a txt so that we can meet face to face?? Since coming across as needy and pathetic my texts are responded with one or two word replies..... What could I say to gain that spark to meet me and begin attracting her again?? Appreciate your help Dan!!!
What can i do after 3 years? Shes my ex mrs we spent 15 years together and have 4 children. We still see eachother breifly when kids stay over etc. I made ALL the mistakes mentioned. I didnt even come across these videos until a few weeks ago. Iv always wanted her back. She dumped me cos leading upto it we werent getting on as well.. with 4 kids we didnt spend enough time together away from kids...both were working around each other ...me in the day..her in eves etc. At the start i begged..pleaded...cried.... sucked up for weeks... harrased her with calls and long texts. She blocked me. That made me more crazy. Started calling her names... and basically made things worse.. after a while she would unblock me and id go right back to harrasinng her. So id get blocked again. Fast forward to 1 year she went on holiday for her birthday with her friends. Again, thid caused a rift as she gave me 3 hours notice before setting off to airport leaving me with kids and having to make arrangements with work last minute to work around kids school for a week. That action of hers caused further arguments.. out of annoyance i did the same (4 months later) and went on a last minute holiday to Turkey with mates. Again...causing more friction. Basically i know theres been mistakes from me and from her (whether she realises or not and has kept it to herself) .. i have admitted my errors to her and tried pushing to be back together but she wasnt having it ... clearly i know now that was due to the tension that was still there. Shortly after reading some stupid stuff online i went into no contact (by this point it had been almost 2 years) thinking if she wants me she will come to me. Since then she had contacted me here and there via my 15 year old sons mobile phone asking general things about car insurance...and on other occasions other things. ... and my stupid ass just answered her questions and nothing further ...i was playing "hard to get" angle. Fast forward to start of pandemic i lost my job and so dealing with new issues and financial struggle i started working as a taxi driver (i had gotten a taxi badge a few months before luckily as i was going to start doing weekend nights before pandemic for extra cash as house needed work doing) however working as a taxi driver in the pamdemic meant i was working 80 hours a week to scrape a living and again this took my attention away from her as i was struggling and stressed while apllying for other jobs. Finally got a job 6 months ago and alot of stress disappeared. However now i fear i have pushed her away as she may be assuming im not interested anymore and im really scared as i dont want to loose her and my family forever. Last i heard shes "friends" with a single father. Im hoping its not too late and i can win her back.
Dan Bacon sir, I hv committed serious mistakes while in relationship as well as post breakup like I hurt myself, felt insecure, called her mom, shown her needy, begged, cried. Now she talks to me rarely n talking n blaming only abt dis. What should I do to get her back?
When you say interact should I text her or wait until tomorrow to start contacting her cause I contacted her yesterday and she didn’t even reply so idk what to do and it’s driving me crazy🤦🏽♂️😔
Hey Dan, thanks for this opportunity and sorry for the long message. First of all, I am one of your client, and I've bought your get your ex back super system (I dropped you an email anyway to discuss some suggestions for improvements) In 7 months apart (5 of which spent in Australia), I went through step 1-2 of your system, on my own. Meanwhile, she found another guy, who was "who she always looked for in her life". We didn't have arguments and we left each other on good notes, however I was heartbroken and she was too. I was blocked on all social media and all chats. When I came back from Australia I applied directly the step 4 of the system, skipping step 3 because i thought it was he best thing to do in my case. She was so happy to hear me and agree immediately to catch up to say hello because I had been away for many months. I have applied all your techniques in the system at the meet up, using humour, being light hearted, teasing her, etc. She then said to me that she has always been missing me and she blocked me on all social media because, even though she was in a relationship, she continued to go to my profile, checking if I was online etc. Then she said that she's not happy with her new guy (of six-seven months now), because he is the complete opposite of me and he's doing so many things that are turning her off (he's extremely jealous of me, he hates me, he is too possessive, he is not culturally very intelligent, he curses against god a lot and she hates that, and many other things, maybe more important that she didn't tell me). She's missing all the good things about me, and now at the phone and at the meet up she said she was impressed by the new me, because I am the same person she fell in love with, but at the same time I am much more improved now. But here is the problem: she said she's now confused. Basically she blames herself for not being able to maintain a relationship: first with me, I was the only man she wanted to be with in her life but I made too many mistakes and she did not accept them, then with this guy. She then confessed me that she might want to leave this country with a one ticket flight in September to escape from her problems, without telling him, because she doesn't feel ok with him anymore, but she can't go back with me. "I'm not jumping from one guy to the other: I have a problem with guys and relationship, I'm going to leave all of these behind". What do I do now? I told her good things about the guy, and I defended him, which looked so mature coming from myself and she really appreciated it. However, what do I have to do now? I know that she's not happy with him, but she wants to leave everyone behind now. She doesn't want to add me on Facebook because she said that she still feels something for me but she can't go back and because her new guy will become very VERY mad.
Great to hear of your progress so far! You sound like you've really improved in the meantime. That said, I'm not happy to hear that you skipped step 3 though! :( :) Why? Guys always say they are having trouble when they skip step 3. It's so important. It's not in the system for fun - it's a very important, highly tested, proven to work step of the process. BTW: Don't mention what Step 3 is here. That's private information. About what you should do now: Stop asking for a relationship or hinting at it. Do this instead: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html I believe you can get her back. Get her back! You can do it.
Dan Bacon I skipped phase 3 because I wanted to ask her step 3 during step 5 (I know you can get it) as my situation was a bit different. Trust me, it would have been just so weird to do step 3 before step 4-5 in my situation. So in the end I wanted to do all steps in the program, but just not in that order because I thought it was the best thing to do for my case, doing step 3 after I showed her all the improvements I made during step 5. However, as I said above, she basically said "no" for a reason (she suffers to see me because she feels something for me and she's confused). That just turned around EVERYTHING and now I am like "woah, ok. This was totally not expected". Thanks for the tips though!
How about if you've been apart for years, even lost contact. Now occasionally text? We even went out on a couple of dates last year, but she constantly put me as her lowest priority, so I walked again. But can't get her out of my mind.
Hi dan how do i get in touch with you, im in a similar position at the moment, we have been split for 3 weeks and i have done all those mistakes i shouldnt have and i really care for this girl. she broke up with me because she doesnt feel love for me anymore because of the small mistakes i have done and havent paid attention to her needs and details. i now know what to do im putting all into action at the moment. i have to move out this week as at the moment i am living with her and she needs her space i hvave given her a week to think but she seems stubborn about her decision and it didnt help what i said, i was too needy about things and i made the mistakes i shouldnt have. what to do, i need to talk. thank you for the videos
Hey Dan great videos! I'm learning a lot with your videos, but there still one thing i can fully grasp and that is how to make her feel attracted again? do i just simply text her chat a bit ask her how are classes going make her laugh and then stop replying ? please help
So in my case its been 4 months since the breakup. In the begining she reached out to me a few times but that has fallen by the wayside. She will still respond to text fairly quick however The last time we talked when we talked she informed me she was seeing someone . This was posted on facebook which is something that she wouldnt do with me as in the begining she found it hard to tell her kids which was never resolved when we were dating. this could be a drawback as It has releived some conflict in her head she had when she was dating me. We did have a bery close deep relationship communication, passionate fun time together the drawback was the kids thing and a conflict she had was how can the first person I meet after my divorce be so perfect caring and loving. Ive hit a roadblock as part of me says jjst walk away but there is the other part that knows how wonderful things can be.
me and my ex wife have been divorced for 3 years she got remarried and is getting divorced again, in our marriage I neglected her and payed her no attention but I have since then changed my attitude and my bad habits but still hard to show her otherwise how can i prove to her that I m more mature and won't go back to my old ways when she's being distant and cold
I assume she is being distant and cold via text, right? If so, you have to get to a phone call and an in person meet up so she can experience it for herself. If you have been talking to her on the phone and meeting up in person, just make sure that you're focussing on getting her smiling and laughing and feeling attracted to you, rather than discussing the relationship or acting just like a friend. Talk to her and use flirting like you would with a new woman that you were seducing. You might find this helpful: ruclips.net/video/y_bY1Jae0FE/видео.html
This all really makes sense I have a question, does this mean in order to do this you can be the first to reach out after no contact to execute this plan
coach help! she broke up with me 4 montha ago... since then, i bought a new car, a house, went to the gym and became a 2.0 version of myself... we stayed in touch here and there until last month that she told me she wants ro date someone else... i took it hard but respected her and took a step back. a week ago i sent her a fun message with a sweet memory of a cacation we went together.. she replyed to me with love. now im stuck... how can i break the ice again after a week? and what are the steps that i can make to make her come back and forget about that other guy after 2.5 years that we have been together???
I have a video coming out about rebound relationships tomorrow. It will apply to your situation and I provide an example of how to ask her to meet up with you. Stay tuned!
So I haven't spoken o my ex in about 7 days now, and she asked for space saying that she's not sure how much she wants as she doesn't want to put a "timer" on it. I understand that she wants me to be more independent and work on myself as a person more. She has been upset throughout the days of no contact as we simply haven't talked at all, except for 1 time when she bumped into me but little words were exchanged. I'm unsure as to how I should go about contacting her. For instance; after her prom and small party on the following day is over and out of the way, or now for instance. In addition to that, would asking her to go for a drink to talk and catch up be better than starting the contact via text or phone? Any advice for my situation would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Yes, go for an in person meet up if you can because texting an ex usually leads to misunderstandings and wasted time. Don't ask for a relationship at the meet up. Just re-attract her, hook up (if you can) and get her back, or just get her to be open to staying in touch. Watch this about re-attracting her: ruclips.net/video/iPuCD4vkdXo/видео.html
Dan I'm lost. She broke up with me over a text almost 2 weeks ago, we met up last week and when she was explaining myself I basically told her I was going to kill myself, without actually meaning it. I Don't want to lose her, and It's hard trying not to message her or try to talk to her, but I miss everything. I want to give her a few days of space up to a week, but is it even salvageable after that? I want to be with her for the rest of my life.
What do you do if you initially gave an ultimatum but then suggested jokingly being friends? Is it about leading them towards feeling attracted again even if they pull away or ghost?
My Ex Wife said she couldn't do this anymore and packed up and moved to South Carolina with her mom. We were together for 7 yrs and married for 10 months. It's been since Feb 3rd since she's been gone. And even though it's getting easier! I'm still having issues with the whys and how's and why she never said goodbye to her stepson. He's 14 now. We have blocked each other from everything and have no communication now. And I still love her and wish she would communicate with me but she's being immature and the divorce isn't even final yet. She's avoiding everything and all of her past back here in Indiana as well as her responsibilities with the divorce. What do I do? I know you don't want us to do the 30 day no contact but what can I do if she's blocked me from everything except Email?
In blocked ex back cases, you need to use more detailed techniques that I only teach in my program: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html This free video will also help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
Hi Dan, I am at a total loss on what to do, My ex just broke it off saying she just wanted to be friends, it has been a couple months, she wont answer my calls or text. When she will talk and I try to see if we can meet up even as friends she will say no. I have made a few of the mistakes that you say not to do, being needy, texting her to much, asking for another chance., I think one of the things is making it real difficult is she is bipolar, I have went through your super system, and it dont seem to work with her, I do love her, and want her back,
Hi Ken - have you completed Step 3? I assume you haven't, which is why that is happening! :) Note: Please don't mention what step 3 is all about here. That's private info. About the mistakes you've been making: I recommend that you stop asking for a relationship and do this instead ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html Stay strong, focus on attraction and you will get another chance with her. Even though you were asking her to catch up as friends, it sounds like she didn't believe you (most likely because you skipped step 3). If she absolutely says no to catching up, use Option 2 here: www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-persuade-my-ex-to-meet-up-with-me-for-coffee.html
How would you approach initiating conversation if you've been making incredible changes in your life, and you want a dialog, but she does not want to talk to you? I'm going through a divorce and I made a lot of mistakes doing things you said not to do and I ultimately ended up being an annoyance. I would like to be able to interact with her, but she's annoyed by contact. She also lives in another state at the moment so any interaction would be via text or phone calls. I appreciate everything you do.
Great to hear of your personal progress so far. However, that's not something she really wants to hear about. If she gets the sense that you're trying to sell yourself to her, it will come across as desperate and turn her off. So, just make progress and let her pick up on it naturally. About her being annoyed by your contact: www.themodernman.com/blog/why-your-ex-replies-to-your-texts-in-a-cold-distant-way.html You need to use a different approach to her from now on. If you need in depth help with that and lots of examples, go to: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html
Hey Dan been following your videos for a year or so, anyway my ex girlfriend and I got in a fight about a week ago and I said something's that were hurtful and untrue but I was just pissed. When she said she hated fighting then dumped me. I have been off and on with her for two years but this time I said "if you're done then block me" and sure enough she has blocked me everywhere and I have no way to contact her and she has dropped my clothes off. This was last week still haven't heard from her since. What shall I do?
In blocked ex back cases, you need to use more detailed techniques that I only teach in my program: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html These two free videos will also help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/MMIY68d_KCM/видео.html
hi Dan hey I really need your help to get my spouse back she left me nine months ago and she doesn't want to talk or let me see her things been rough I really want to work out things with her we have two children together and have been with her for 23 years together and 15 yrs living together.that is how old my daughter is and my boy is 10.I don't know what happened I knew something was going on but she didn't let me know what is going on you think you can help.
Trying to "work things out" and get her to want a relationship is the mistake you are making. Do this instead: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
Hi Dan! In last 3 months we have this "pause" thing with my girlfriend, she said to me that it is because I'm away during the week (because of work for 9 month, I will be back in august). We stop seeing each other during weekend's and when we finally see each other it's very strange situation (she reminds me all of my errors etc.), although she said that she really likes me, but she don't want to be in a relationship if I'm away during the week and can't be with her. Our relationship was just perfect before I had to travel away. I once apologize for all my things I Do wrong and she said it's too late, go seeing other guys but then she behave like she wants back when I return and I don't understand that much.
Dan, I'm extremely confused. Last week my ex broke up me with but still she admitted her feelings towards me. A day later prior to the break up she texted me that we could watch movies together and she agreed that we could get back to the relationship, and later sleept over at my place. Then the next day before her vacation, she apologized to me and her eyes were almost filled with tears saying that she shouldn't have sleept over at my place. She told me to move on despite still having feelings for me. I acted desperate and needy and she ignored me. So I decided to do the no contact, 7 days after she decided to call me and check up on me, she also stated that she missed hearing from me that she missed my voice (2 days ago). We talked about for 15min before I had to cut her short telling her that I had to go for a walk with a friend. But she still wanted to talk. My question is, how should I go from There?
You can get her back by not pushing for a relationship. Just make her feel attracted, meet up with her, hook up with her sexually and then don't push for a relationship. Let her be the one who wants it and asks for it. When she does, just accept it, but don't get too excited about it being a "relationship" again. Just keep making her feel attracted, hook up with her, don't chase and let her want you. Also, make sure that you're spending time working on your goals and ambitions in life, so you don't put too much focus on her.
Dan Bacon alright thanks. But as far when it comes to phone calls or text, should we take turns with who contacts? like since she called me 2 days ago, then I'm the one that should call her next? (I called her today but made the conversation short like 10min). The reason why I'm asking this is because, I want do it right on a timely manner, before I accidentally fall back to "I hope she comes back to me by not contacting her for too long" kind of guy.
Hey Dan how could I apply this if I am living far away from her. She's in Norway and I'm in Singapore. We have been together in a long distance relationship for 3 years. But we broke up 3 weeks ago
Hi Dan, Thanks so much for your excellent work. Using your ex-back system, a seemingly impossible situation was turned around and my wife has now been back living with me for the past few months of which I'm super grateful. However, I'm getting frustrated now because of the lack of intimacy and emotional stonewalling she exhibits. I'm currently following Make Her Love you For Life which is quite amazing, but progress seems super slow and I feel like she is always half-in, half-out of the relationship. There's a massive amount of guidance in that program and it's often hard for me to know what to focus on! Out of the pillars and concepts that you talk about, what are the best concepts and practices to start with to get her to commit to the relationship and be open to expressing intimacy and affection? Cheers
Congrats on getting your wife back! That's so great to hear. About her not being fully into intimacy at the moment: That's a common problem in marriages, not just ex back situations. I would recommend that you focus on the following sections in the Make Her Love You For Life Program. 1) Communication 2) Respect 3) Sexual Attraction. This video will also help you: ruclips.net/video/HHSamPlVsXs/видео.html Just make sure that she doesn't see you appearing upset, rejected or insecure when she isn't being intimate. Remember what I teach in the program about love and laughter. Enjoy the great times ahead!
Thanks for the quick reply Dan. You are a machine to be cranking out so many replies and are a true gem to be reaching out to help so many of us guys in similar situations. (I hope that you guys out there can appreciate how busy this gent is!) Your advice was perfect for my situation and after reading it, noticed I was getting uptight, visibly moody and insecure when she was knocking me back from a kiss or whatever. The love/laughter approach will be the focus from now on, as well as intensive study of the 3 sections that you mentioned. I've found that it sometimes takes quite a few listens of your work for it to really sink in, because we men often think that we know it all :) Thanks again for your brilliant advice and I'd love to book in a coaching call in the near future. Cheers!
You're welcome mate and than you for appreciating my efforts. It's men like you who make running The Modern Man (50 hours weeks) worth it. Men who learn, take action and get results. That's what it's all about. Enjoy the great times ahead! BTW: Yes, it would be great to chat if you ever need a phone coaching call. All the best in the meantime.
about 2:57 is he starts saying things to not do. Ive done every single one of those things...
Watching your videos gives me hope. I am on day 8 without contact. I am speechless because of this video. It really makes sense to me. God bless you. I will let you know what happens as soon as possible. Wish me luck everyone. Blessing to everyone from Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico.
Hey Dan, just wanted to say I've watched a lot of "relationship coaches" the last few days, but you are truly the first one I've listened to that I feel is speaking to my situation in a realistic/appropriate/ and helpful way! If I didn't find you, I'd think I'd HAVE to go through a 30 day no contact period to make this work....and I simply don't think that is true in my situation. I am simply seeking how to rapidly change as a boyfriend and man in general. I understand there will be a process, I just feel very reassured when you defend the "lover" side of being an ex too. You don't need to cut your ex off to prove you're a man, you prove that with every word of advice you give :)
Love you bro...you are the only guy on RUclips who is not obsessed with no contact
Man I show your video to all my friends. Thank you for showing me stuff I knew subconsciously my whole life.
You're welcome! Thanks for sharing the vid with your friends!
Bro, this is by far the best relationship advice I have come across. This guy really knows his shit as I already been through this an do the same exact things he speak of. A lot of people selling gimics, this is by far the real deal. Good job man!
God damn it... I spent so many hours watching other dating advice channels and nobody could help me... Thanks Dan!! I would've fucked up again if not for this video.
This is powerful, masterful, proven information. Absolutely works and is very effective.
Hi Dan. I’m a big time fan of your videos. They have helped me out in profound ways. I currently in a rocky relationship with a woman who got out of an abusive marriage. She is amazing woman with two amazing children. We started off going too fast and now we slowed down to friends where we are building a relationship that we can fall back into. You are one of the few relationship experts that recommended staying in contact and to be friends so the attraction can build. It is hands down the best advice I could have received. Every ex I’ve had in the past I’ve walked away from and didn’t look back. There’s something different about this one. I want to stick around with this one and really build something long lasting. Thank-you again for your profound advice.
coach Dan, you are the best in this field, you are really helping many people around. Be blessed
this man is sent from god
I had to use only email contact, moved out per her request (from Belgium back to US) and amped up FB, joined a band, resumed successful career. When I saw that she was shopping for the morning after pill on our Amazon acct, I let her know that I would not tolerate that. Now shes just furious.
Man ur books work like magic, i git my ex back like 3 months ago and shes more engaged than ever
Congrats! Awesome to hear. Enjoy the great times ahead.
What about after 3 months 😭
Dan is the man. He's exactly right and you'd be crazy not to listen to these pearls of relationship wisdom. He understands the psyche of how women feel and the process of their attraction and relationship needs. Basically try to be in the same mindset you were when the relationship started. Stop sulking and stroking your wounded ego. Don't interact with her until you get your emotions under control and have a plan to be ok with or without her. I know it's painful and thinking about her with another man can literally kill you inside but we have to be strong or she'll never want you back in her life. Know your value, grind to become a better man physically, emotionally and financially. When you do this, you will be ok with or without her.
What if you are the one that broke up but regret it
Man I can't thank you enough for this. We broke 4 days ago and she told me EXACTLY the same reasons you mentioned at 8:45 (it's not you it's me and so on). She told me she wanted a break to see if she regains feelings for me after a few months. If it werent for you, I surely wouldn't contact her out of fear she might think Im needy. I will contact her in a few days but I'm not exactly sure what to tell her. Should I say if she wants to go for a drink? Or go see a movie in a theater?
This video is really powerful for me...I've seen soo many videos but this 1 feels soo true to me... My ex broke up with me years ago but i feel i am a new improved man now since then mentally that evan if she does not come back to me i will still be happy... I sent out a snapchat request to her a few days ago and she accepted it, i seen her post but not done anything yet....At the time i was madly in love with her but as it has been ages its only normal that she may of moved on with someone else... I see her post a pic of her partner the other day... She did not see me see it i just didn't look that into it
married 19 years, 2 children. Typical "love you but not in love with you, not attracted". Still living together, but basically separated, and she is going through a mid-life crisis too. I got hit so hard with this that I have been depressed, anxious, 0 self-esteem and confidence. So problem is that any interaction I never seem to reach the level of being in control and pushing her attraction buttons. Don´t know what to talk about with her, feel out of place. Cannot make her feel that attraction again, Im just lost. Cant make her laugh, etc.
Oh man, I think I can almost understand what you are going through.. I know my ex for 10 years, the same case as you but without the marriage and the kids. To be honest I was going to propose to her the month she broke up with me..
I don't want to either give you any hope, or kill any hope that you have either, but your only chance is No Contact. I made everything right after breakup. I followed all the advice I found from experts.. Nothing worked! It's been 6 months.
There is really nothing we can do to reattract them. Once women (or men in that case) make up their mind it is usually final. Think about it, would you break up with someone you love or feel attracted or feel lucky to have them? The answer is no. So, in that case we have even less value than a stranger to them, because a stranger is potentially valuable, and we are not. But that doesn't have to do with us, it has to do with them. Realise that she doesn't value you and use that realization to fuel your anger towards her. Anger is basically what will help you move on..
At 6 months, for me is still ups and downs... The one day I am over her and the next I am depressed.
She contacts me, she is cooooooold, ice cold and to the point. She doesn't even care if I am alive or dead. She deals with business and she hangs up... So she doesn't even give me chance to talk to her... It still hurts as hell.
what's your story man?
Sorry for posting again... have you considered making changes? you live together, make changes surprise her and be another person.. But don't try to force it, don't make it look like you are making these changes for her. And distance yourself from her. you know her for 19 years... I am guessing (although I am not sure anymore about anyhting) that if you distance yourself from her asap, make some changes and let her reach out to you, that she will miss you and see you in a different light.. I don't know, nothing seems to work for me, so I don't really know.. Good Luck! :)
I'm in a spot where it's been almost 8 months since we broke up and we haven't talked since. I was just stupid in the relationship where i literally didn't do anything. We were together for 6 months and it was like a glorified best friend. I knew she really liked me and i really liked her back but i was scared of screwing up so nothing happened. Long story short i ran into her recently we talked briefly and went our separate ways. But that brief interaction brought back so many memories and feelings that now i'm just confused and have no idea what to do.
Worked like a charm 🤘
Dan,
Purchased EBS and implemented it the most I could (I'm currently not as mobile -- had foot surgery) so the facebook posts were never done. My ex and I currently live together and have a kid together (Dated for almost 6 years). I continue to do all the other steps in the EBS system, but it seems as nothing is going anywhere. We did have a really open conversation about everything and she said she's started developing feelings for me again, she cooks, cleans, makes me lunch, calls me randomly to talk, etc, but she seems strong about keeping her guard up and will not engage in any intimacy. Your system keeps me fighting and has made me a lot more emotionally strong. I know I've made a lot of wins but it doesn't seem to be coming together. Our lease ends next month and I'd hate to lose the daily interaction piece. Advice for us currently living together and having daily interaction might be helpful! I just want to win my woman back! I'll be back walking from my surgery within a week or two if that means anything as far as having interactions outside our house. We've been broken up for almost three months. The main reason for us parting ways was she stopped being affectionate because I was too hard on her and was a jerk to her at times. She said she's afraid I'll go back to my old ways(because of stress) when I return back to work and school because "I had lied about changing before" although I've shown her I've changed the past few weeks. Is this just a waiting game now?
To prove that you've changed, you've got to let her see it day in, day out. She will gradually begin to see that you are for real now. Here are some free videos that will help you: ruclips.net/video/HHSamPlVsXs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/ULlNPFow0X0/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/MMIY68d_KCM/видео.html
I think the no contact for 30 days is too long. I might just do it for 3-7 days
My girl and I have been off and on for a while now. She has had a tough go this last year with lots of negative things happening and it was tough to accommodate so I just tried to be as supportive and nice as I could be. She walked all over me and eventually we ended. I love her completely and she is now telling me she is with another guy. I'm not ready to give up and move on. I love your information but my situation is much different I think and I would live to share the whole story with you! Please contact me.
This video will help you: ruclips.net/video/ys2cutNdOZs/видео.html BTW: Every break up and relationship is different, but what you need to do to get her back is the same.
Ok well what if she starts calling to talk and fall asleep otp with her is that an sign saying she misses me or misses talking to me if so what does that exactly means???
Sparks fly for sure every time i contact my ex, she would like to burn me with a flamethrower if she could hahah!
I could write a book but I will try to keep it kinda short. Thank you in advance.
Basic story...married for 21 yrs, together for 24. Four kids; 19, 17, 15, and 7. 12 years ago I did cheat, for three years. It was non sexual more emotional but that still doesn't matter, it was wrong and probably ruined my family. I honestly never planned on leaving, it was just an escape from life and a poor choice. I was forgiven and taken back however two years later we split and went through all divorce procedures including me signing the papers. Before going to court she changed her mind and we recon sidled. We had a great 10 months (honeymoon phase) then planned another baby (7 yr old). I thought things have been good, although both her and I have been in a rut, or depressed the past few years. I was told that in my depression I ignored her need to feel loved and be held. Although I thought I was showing love in other ways, it wasn't what she looking for. She kept telling me, but I failed to listen. I had the wrong "love language" so to speak and was showing acts of service, and she felt that it was just me respecting her and not love.
So up to date its been a huge push/pull situation...in November she told me she is done, shes not in love, shes not attracted to me, we need to be friends again, and so on. After Thanksgiving she moved into her grandfathers house for about a month. She stayed with him and my youngest during the week, she would come back home during the weekends and some week nights here and there. She moved back into the house first week of January because she hated not being under the same roof as her kids but she slept in a separate room. Even though she was here for the kids, she didn't do much with them. She has pushed them all away just as she pushed me away. I feel she is deeply depressed. I have been to counseling, she refuses as she knows what she wants although everyone can see she is depressed and not happy. We cannot afford a divorce although that has only been brought up during really heated arguments (4 or 5 times since November). A lot has transpired since November, but despite her actions of spending time with me, and seeming like we can start over, she is firm in her words that we are done. She is able to drop that on me like a ton of brinks. We have continued living together, and now we have to move. A few months ago when we were first made aware of a possible move, she wanted me moving in with the kids and her moving back in with her grandfather as we cannot afford to have two separate places, and she knows the family cannot afford to be without her income. She does not like living with her grandfather but if that is what she has to do for the family that is what she will do. Over the past 45 days, it has changed and all of us appear to be moving together (but she is only doing it because it is for the family). She continues to get mad at me, saying that I want something she doesn't want. I do want a relationship with her and admitted it several times, but a new one...not what we had because I know its over. She tells me that I am trying too fix the marriage and I cannot. I want to win her back, and start fresh but I do not know how to do it. I went away last month and while I was gone, she slept our bed for the week in the master. When I returned, we both feel asleep in the bed, and I have remained there since. No touching or anything but I believe it might be a positive step, since no way in hell I could have done that a few months ago. I also feel that her moving with us and us sharing a room is another positive step but I might be reading way too much. I really want her back but I do not know how.
Any advice? Since, I already won her back once, am I doomed? I can't escape friend zone, and cannot cut contact. Now (a little late) I realize how much little things meant to her. She has told me she has given me enough chances, and I've broken her heart each time so no more chances. How can I show her I am truly changing if we are still living together. I appreciate your help.
Thank you
J
You can escape the friend zone. You can make her want a relationship. How?
Do this: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
What happened is a month ago my ex left me because she lost attraction for me. We're both young and in the military.
We used to be in a long distance relationship until I moved states to be closer to her. We rushed things and she moved into my apartment shortly after i moved, we even adopted a dog. We started arguing a few days after she moved in and soon she said she fell out of love and had she left for about a week for training intending to come back and pack up her stuff to leave.
She left her laptop and I went through her messages to find out she's been talking to other guys and even cheated on me. I got mad and asked her if she cheated on me and she kept saying no until I sent her pics of the messages, I called her and was pretty pissed, blaming her for taking me away from my family, my friends etc. and saying I hated her for cheating on me. I didn't mean all the things I said but I was pretty livid.
A couple weeks go by and I contact her hoping she isn't still cold. She was being pretty cold and distant. At this point I was ready to stop trying to salvage this. We decide it'd be best for her to keep the dog, she comes to pick it up.
We discuss this is likely our last contact forever beforehand. She picks up the dog only to say, "I'll see you again." She never told me what it meant and she lives 3 hrs away. I don't see why she'd want to see me again. I can forgive the cheating and a part of me wants to start over because we were pretty good together, it was both of our longest relations (10 months) and she said I was the best bf she had, she said this as we were breaking up. Not sure what to do next. She's in another country for three weeks so meeting face to face isn't an option yet. Thanks in advance
I also made the mistake of trying to use logic, telling her I changed and all that, sending her a bunch of texts. I let my emotions get the better of me, luckily I never begged. I asked if she's willing to try again a couple weeks ago and she said the chance to try again won't come for awhile, that she's not ready yet.
These two new videos will help you. This: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html and this ruclips.net/video/4IyiVAF8Gbw/видео.html
Dan Bacon Thanks man, I think I know what to do now. But she's being cold at the moment however and she's in a different country for a few weeks, I can't reattract her if she keeps ignoring my texts, I know I can in person though. Should I just give her more time to cool down before contacting her again? I know in a lot of your videos you say no contact is typically a bad idea just gives her more time to move on, do you think this is one of those instances that it's called for?
I really hope i get my girlfriend back im determined i will get her back ❤🙏💚💙
Wow this guys knows me and we never met....he's good
love your work
Thanks!
Hey Dan,
My girl and I were together for almost 2 years, when she suddenly broke up with me. At first she said that she just didn't love me anymore, and that she needed to grow. Later I found out that she saw me as controlling, and she was diagnosed with bipolar. I've gone to therapy to deal with my issues, she as well (including medication for bipolar), but she isn't seeing (or doesn't want to see) the change. I've pretty much gotten back to the old me, the one she fell in love with (before the controlling behavior started) but she's still resisting. She's kept in contact with me (she has to as we live together still) and has become more friendly although still scoffs at me anytime I try to move beyond friendship. I'm staying as calm and confident as I can, but everything seems to just roll off of her. She's opened up a little, but not enough for it to be considered intimate. We've been broken up for almost 3 months now, and while there is progress (can't be together without being friends first) it's stalling. Is there anything more I can do? Or do I just need to keep this up until she lets her guard down?
This will help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
I've definitely been doing most of this (emotional strength, not "asking") but it seems like any attempt to make her more attracted to me fail. I know that I can re attract her (she was attracted to me before) but I seem to keep hitting a brick wall.
Great vid!!! Love it, interested in you would elaborate or perhaps do a video on the types of 'attraction experiences'... ~9 minutes, and not too many people discuss this, what types are there and what women want.
I don't have a video about that exact topic, but I do discuss that topic in a bit of detail in this video www.themodernman.com/blog/4-tips-on-how-to-get-an-ex-back-who-wants-nothing-to-do-with-you.html and this one ruclips.net/video/t48pGR7fO7A/видео.html To learn more, go to: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html
Man, i love you, this is really working
i broked up with my girlfriend one month ago ~ i just wanna know if there is a chance that she miss me? cause i did to harrass her after we broked up and regret about it~
M15yrs w/ 14yrs old daughter. My wife told me last month that she had the affair (with old friend of ours) when she traveled oversea 2 months ago for 10 days. These past month was very painful for me as she won't stop calling & texting him. She told me that she stop loving me long time ago. She feel that I never take good care her enough. She said "We can get divorce if I want to or if I can be cool with it, no-one has to know" b/c may be her new relationship won't work out since he live the other side across the world. Either she has to go oversea or he has to come or maybe meet somewhere between. Now she goes again (3weeks) for my daughter's summer camp and they will meet again. I don't want to lose her and my marriage. I don't want my daughter to know. I'm pretty sure that my wife won't build a new family with him. She just want him to fill her emptiness. What should I do to make my wife break up with him sooner and bring my wife's heart back. I wish I know you before all these happen to me Dan. Thank you in advance.
What a horrible situation. That must be torture for you now that she is going to see him again. I feel for you. About what you need to do: That's a personal choice. Do you want to even the playing field by sleeping with a new woman yourself? If not, are you going to be able to get the idea of him and her having had sex out of your mind when you and your wife have sex again? I recommend that you watch my videos about relationships at this point: ruclips.net/video/J0MtRKER1h4/видео.html If it turns into an ex back situation, you can then treat it like that. However, for now this is a relationship problem.
Do you give advice on men for women?
Wow. Simply wow. Thank you so much!
Amazing. Thanks for this
My friend told me that when his girlfriend left him a week later he spoke to her and tried being friends with her, then he told me that even though they broke up he talked to her everyday. And now that's what I'm doing because after a week of not talking to my ex girlfriend she told me that she felt bad that that we haven't spoke since the break. Then after a while we talked, I showed the conversation to a friend that's helping me and he said he can tell that she wants to talk to me still even though we are no more. I think he could be right because my ex girlfriend is lonely and hung out with no one but me last month
Be her friend, but don't act like a friend. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/Za4JnftMENc/видео.html
If there is some way to get in touch with you I could really use your help.
Hi Dan,
I think you’re doing some great work, your advice is honest and to the point! I’m in a bit of a unique situation that isn’t really covered in your videos though; perhaps some sage advice could help!
I’ve been dating someone since last November who’s become quite special to me (don’t they all?!) and me to her. Long story short, we fell in love within a few months the way such things go when they simply click. We’ve become intimate on a deep level both emotionally and physically; though despite this, in April she said she was holding back and didn’t know why. She was having trouble expressing her love for me (saying “I love you” first), though the feelings were definitely there. We stayed together, but then around the first week of June she broke up with me. She said she was in the same spot and nothing was changing for her. We’re both in our early 30’s and she didn’t want to waste my time or hers in our prime years. She wants a family with kids, as do I. We’re both divorced from previous marriages and I have a son. I told her that I understood and appreciated where she was coming from. I didn’t beg or plead for her to stay.
That was on a Monday. We gave each other our keys and things back and said goodbye through tears and final kisses. I didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day and all the next. Then on the following night she asked to come over. She wanted to see me. When I opened the door she was upset and had been drinking which was all very out of character for her. We talked and she said she missed and loves me a lot and was very confused. She spent the night and for the next week and half since, we’ve stayed at each other’s places and hung out. She said she’s never done this after a breakup but the general discussion was that we both didn’t know what was going to happen.
Then... she left three weeks ago for a (pre-planned, 50/50 solo and with friends) month long trip to Europe. Before she left I told her that “as much as my heart wanted to wait for her’s forever, it can’t because there will come a time where that behaviour is unhealthy.” I also told her I wasn’t going to be here waiting around for her; so go do her thing there, figure out what she wanted and I’ll be here working on me. She texted me right away when she landed to tell me she was safe. Since then we’ve been texting and swapping photos everyday; her of her trip and me having fun on my own adventures with friends and my boy. We occasionally talk on the phone.
Some important notes: She initiates the majority of the communication with me (even when she was with her sister who she hadn’t seen in months); I’ve never in any form brought up our relationship, how she’s feeling about us nor if she’s come to any sort of decision; I flirt with her and keep all our conversations fun; when we talk on the phone there are laughs and effortless conversation; last week we had phone sex and it was great; she told me a couple times that she’s missing me, that she missed falling asleep next to me and seeing me.
Some factoids about her: She is a doctor, is very independent but very easy going. In her marriage there was very little communication. No talking about feelings and never an argument. Never. The sex wasn’t very good. Her ex became directionless and her impatient, ending the relationship. She wanted more passion.
Factoids about me: I’m all passion and romance. I’m the creative type and have no trouble expressing my emotions and connecting. Also, last year way before we met I was in really rough place financially and emotionally suffering; I was admitted for a suicide, of which I told her about early on and she was very supportive of. Since then I’m back on track and everything is going great! While she's been gone I've been kicking ass at work and back to exercising like my old self.
So now that this is a long story... I’m not sure what to do when she gets home next week. I suspect she became uneasy with us because I wasn’t the confident guy she could see in me. I wasn’t quite there to my full potential and she was maybe struggling whether to stick around to see if I pulled through or not. I also feel like she’s scared of fully connecting in the deep and real relationship we have. Kind of like when you want something so bad and you finally get it, you’re scared and don’t know what to do with it. Or maybe none of that?
Honestly, I’m worried that she’s spinning her wheels with me because she doesn’t want to be alone rather than choose to be with me. In the past I have been a bit heavy handed with talks about our relationship but since watching your videos and reading your site, all that has been going the way of the Dodo.
Anyways, do you have any advice? Should I buy a puppy, maybe tell her I'm pregnant so she won't leave? Haha... ;)
Thank you Dan; high fives!
CV
Hey CV - apart from crying, admitting your suicide attempt to her and being heavy handed when talking about the relationship, you did everything else really well. I know, it sounds like I'm joking or being sarcastic, but I'm for real. Pretty much everything else you said or did what spot on. So, what should you do from here? Don't ever make her feel like she has to pity you again. Don't make her feel like she has to say, "I'm proud of you." Most women hate that kind of relationship because it makes them feel like a mother figure. She is clearly attracted to you and in love with you, but her gut instinct will tell her to move on if you keep making the same old mistakes. In your case, I would actually recommend that you watch my relationship program, Make Her Love You For Life because it seems like she will be open to being back with you when she gets back from her trip. Watch this: www.themodernman.com/blog/make-her-love-you-for-life.html
Hi,
My wife has not yet separated from me, But she is already having another relationship and she does not hide it. She has lost attraction for me after ten years, we also have a kid of eight. She does not want to get separated but she is not in love with me anymore. What I have done is I had become too clingy, emotionally weak, at the same time I had taken her for granted. This new relationship of hers is going on for seven months.
Sorry to hear that. If you are interested in getting her to love you again and just want to be with you, I'd recommend that you watch these videos: ruclips.net/video/1vqNEN0cDCI/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/UIXbdS4Hfc8/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/J0MtRKER1h4/видео.html
Dan. So with my ex we dated for about 2 months and I would say it was never on fire, she's very busy with her career so it was difficult to make time. We didn't really connect on a deep level either. Anyways after about 2 months she said she didn't feel a spark and hadn't felt one really, but hung around to see if it developed cause i was such a nice and good catch. So after that we didn't talk for abut 3 weeks during which i worked on myself and thought i had become a real/confident man then I reached out again, and she said she would like to be friends. we hung out for a meal which went well then a week later went biking and surfing for the day with a group of friends after which we all went out on the town for drinks. During the day she made a few hints at that she just wanted to be friends mostly then that night i got a little too drunk and after she left to go home I wound up calling and asking her if we could talk about us, to which she said ok, but on the way i was so drunk my mate wound up taking me home instead and I txt her and said we would talk later. Anyways we haven't talked yet, but honestly I think right now I just need to step away from this and get my mind cause I'm not the man i need to be and honestly I think its gonna take more than a few weeks. I already set up a meet with her later this week to talk. My question is should I tell her that how I feel and that I just can't be friends cause I want more than that and it wouldn't be good for me emotionally and step away and maybe come back in down the road or what do you think?
Don't try to get her to commit to a relationship right now. Do this instead: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html If you want her back, don't focus on talking about the relationship. Focus on attracting her in the ways that you weren't, which is the real reason for the break up anyway. Sounds like you were too nice, too giving, too sweet, etc. She needs a guy who gets her to respect him, while also being a good guy to her.
So, what if she blocked me on her phone? I dont know what to do
Hi Ray - that's an extreme situation that needs a bit of work before she will unblock you. I don't have a free video about that topic yet, but I do explain what to do to get unblocked from social media in my program (you can then get her to unblock you on her phone) : www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html
Hi Dan. My ex of 9 months dumped me 2 and a half months ago. I agreed to it and walked away, no weak behaviours. During the month and a half after the break up, she would reach out once or twice per week. Sometimes about things regarding the house and belongings as i had moved out, and sometimes because she was drunk, lonely and needed someone to talk to as she said i'm the only person she feels she can talk to. She invited me over for coffee a couple of times. Said she missed me but we weren't right for each other. She had her own issues going on too, she hates being alone and hates being single. I never did anything to push her further away. After that month and a half, she stopped contacting me. I haven't heared from her in a month. Then i found out she is in a new relationship that she has been in for the past month. Happened pretty quick apparently. After 9 days of meeting him they we're already in a relationship on facebook. I don't hear from her now. What are your thoughts on this? Can i re attract her? And what is the best way? Thanks.
These two videos will help you: ruclips.net/video/ys2cutNdOZs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/INO33ZoCLo0/видео.html
Hey Dan. appreciate your vids. your advice helped me reconnect with my wife who recently moved out. However, my wife lives with her parents now and they don't like me very much and it's holding the relationship back. What do you recommend when family makes things complicated?
Hi K - great to hear of your success so far. Stay strong. Believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her and let that come through when interacting with her. About her parents: I wrote an article on the topic (the title has "girlfriend" rather than "wife" but it's pretty much the same): www.themodernman.com/blog/my-girlfriends-parents-hate-me.html
Dan Bacon appreciate it a lot!
What if all of her friends are against you/ don’t want you guys to get back together
What if she broke up with me and told me she doesn't want to be with me anymore right now, but she's always calling me and telling me that she wants to be with me and that she still loves me but she doesn't want to at the same time because I was too clingy and protective and we would fight a lot.
Will it work at my age 50 and ex wife 50, our kids are out of our lives and she is going through menopause. All she wants are "friends", she goes out every weekends, she is drinking a lot and just goes to the same bar for dancing with her crowd. She always coming home by 2am. We still live in the same home, waiting to sell it. We still talk a bit about the kids and about home stuff like cooking, shopping, cleaning the home, etc. She will sometimes talk about her nights out, her work days when they are bad, but not always. I don't ask she just volunteers the information. We are respectful and she has mentioned we need to stay friends for the kids.
She also lost Weight, so did I. She replaced most of her cloths and underware, more sexy stuff. She is trying very hard to attract someone else, and this has been 6 months since she announced she wanted a divorce. I did beg and fight for the relationship at the beginning but she didn't want me to beg. Then I have just given her nothing. She always informs when she is going out, but last night I went to my bed early and she went out without me knowing and came back at 2am a bit merry noticed the foot steps. Dog barked.
Dan, I really appreciate your video: I'm puzzled: I honestly thought my ex gf and I were really grooving! It was the 1st time in years that I had met a woman who I really liked and wanted to be around. A few months in, she pulled away, saying "she may be sabotaging us, she's not sure she really wants a relationship, and she needed space. I was super nice, did everything right, I thought! There was an incident that made her "put her major walls up again"! Not cheating or anything dishonest, but it made her question if I was the right man for her! In retrospect, I was too available, too nice, and I did show some neediness that resulted in an emotional text to her. I took a blackout phase of 2 weeks, no contact and composed a good text w/ humor to re engage her! Zero, Nada, no response thus far. Its been 1 day since my text and I just don't know what to do, Dan??! I think I blew it! Thanks in advance for any guidance!
This will help you: www.themodernman.com/blog/what-to-do-if-your-ex-stops-texting-or-talking-to-you.html
Holy Smokes, Dan......I just read that and "WOW".....this scares the heck out of me! My immediate response is, "I don't think I can do it"!
I can't believe I'm so fearful of this?!
Damn your good Dan!
I first really want to say I’m glad I found your page. I’ve been in a 13 year relationship and my fiancé and I have a child. today she has told me that she no longer knows who she is and she just doesn’t feel the same and that she needs space and has left. I really don’t know what to do she says she loves me and it’s nothing that I did or didn’t do. I just wondered if you have any advice for a situation like that because I would really like to get her back but the same time I still want to be fine if it doesn’t go that way and you seem to have some great insight and I was hoping you could help me? Thank you
Bro sometimes it feels like you know exactly what's happening to me
dan thanks for the texts they are helpful too
Dan - we broke up the day after valentines day. A month earlier, she saw something on my phone (normal guy stuff) and flipped out. Although we discussed it laughingly, and agreed it was no big deal it became a big deal. She started pulling away, all the while dealing with things like her son being bullied, money, having to move.
I reached out after 2 weeks, and she was totally willing to talk again. she pushed, asking if I was ok...which i dodged. but finally gave in and said yes, I was upset, etc etc. Yes I talked about the relationship a few times. And she said she wanted to be friends. Since then though, she's stopped responding even though we went to lunch about a month ago. Since, she's talked with my friends and complained that I am still trying to connect, talk, etc. Apparently once a week saying hello is too much contact?
I haven't had any contact with her due to what she's communicated - wants no interaction, for fear the relationship will come up. I can't get her to meet up or even talk. Not sure what to do at this point except focus on myself.
Apart from pushing for a final meet up (see Option 2 here: www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-persuade-my-ex-to-meet-up-with-me-for-coffee.html), you would need to use the techniques from my program to make her miss you. I can't reveal those techniques here, but if you're interested, have a watch of this video: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html BTW: Yes, reaching out to just say hello once a week isn't the right approach. You have to focus on flirting with her and making her feel something if you're going to text her. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/cYV3ZjWEcEg/видео.html
so Dan - I went to kickboxing tonight where i used to teach. She's been training with my friends for a few weeks now. I knew about it, gave it a few weeks. I showed up today and helped class, she messaged me to ask if it was ok if she showed up. I said of course, there need not be anything weird between us. she showed up, and it was great. I will leave it there...it's finally a place where I can connect with no other issues and she was very receptive. Laughing at my jokes etc. So my plan is to just continue this momentum, and continue to interact in a positive way.
Any advice moving forward?
Hey Dan, I've got your ex back program, alpha male power, and better than a bad boy. It's 2 years today that my ex broke up with me. I called her in November on my birthday and got her laughing and asked her to coffee but she said she wasn't available. I tried again a week later and we started emailing but it went dead. She talks to my family on Facebook and I talk to hers still. She told my friend that I had gotten unattractive, boring, and complacent in the relationship and then acted like a wuss during and after the break up and she felt like my boss or mom and was tired of making all the decisions. She really had loved me and wished I hadn't changed but she didn't think I was as much of a man as she wished I was and had followed through on my dreams harder. She got with a guy after me who she said was way more a man than I was at the end of our relationship. He left her for his best friends wife while I started seeing another girl for a year thinking that the new woman would get me over my ex, but it never happened. I am still in love with my ex and I broke it off with the new girl cause no matter how I hard I tried I couldn't fall in love with her like my ex. I was looking a wedding rings and wanted to have kids with my ex before she ended it. I whined, begged, pleaded, and then basically ignored her and that just pissed her off. When I saw her in person last, she was repulsed by me and was cruel and bitchy. The new guy she started seeing is a super effeminate and possessive mamas boy with a trust fund who takes my ex on trips and expensive dinners. I've grown, got my shit together, and am ready to reach out to my ex, but don't know where to start with the current situation. I know I'm the guy for her and I'm not needy or desperate anymore and I feel I've fixed my issues. We have a connection when we connected last. I started watching the ex back program and I wondered if you were gonna update that at all with what you know now since I bought it last July or does all the info still hold true. What do I do about her current guy? Have I waited too long? Should I play on our mutual contacts of friends and family? The last thing she said to my friend about me is that she's happy all these good things are happening in my life and that I got my shit together but she can't let it affect her life. She's moved on. I don't need her. I want her and I want her to go on this journey with me as I continue to succeed in life. Your newsletter said you'd give free advice for the next 3 days.
Hey - great to hear that you've made progress and become a better man. Yet, I am confused as to why you aren't following through on the steps in the program. That's why it's not working for you yet! :) You have to follow the steps. As for your next move, make sure that you've completed Step 3 first (very important) and then go to Step 4, 5, 6 and 7 and you and her will be back in a relationship. BTW: Yes, all the advice in the program is still what I would recommend right now 100%. Guys contact me every day via my website to say thanks and tell me they got their woman back. Follow the steps and you will get another chance! :) Here are two free videos that will help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/rufE8gXwKrg/видео.html
Hi Dan, My wife and I have been separated for 5 months, we just reconnected and decided to give it another try. She wants to take it slow since she has scars and fear deeply hurt. Since we have reconnected I feel like the past 3 days I'm the one initiating contact saying good morning, should I not text her for a few days and wait for her to text me? she stated she feels like the man should say good morning first....
A part the good videos you made so far i like the final part as tip , its great one Dan thanks,
What if she broke up with me because she has depression? I never was too soft or to hard on her. She hasnt left her house in 2 months now. Shes a piano player so she sits all day in house and does nothing more and only: eat, sleep, play etc - will these methods work?
my ex broke up with me & tried to move on with someone from our job.. & then I ended up hooking up with one of her cousin’s so my question is How do you get someone back after you slept with her cousin without knowing they were even related?
Can you do a video on if you messed up and used no contact.
Add to this I do want her back and it's hard to figure this out to convince her
Hi dan been watching your vids came out of a 10 year relationship 4 weeks ago I have kids with her recently we have been hanging out as a family etc today we flirted etc I grabbed her picked her up and hugged her etc I believe theres still sexual attraction am I on the right path
Hey dan, my ex left me because I let my insecurities and jealousy get to me. She said she doesn’t wanna keep doing this, but she cares about me. She said she doesn’t want me hurt, and she’s talking to her ex who was friends with her for 4 years but they only went out for 2 weeks the first time because she couldn’t see him more than a friend. But she’s been talking to him and I think she might go out with him. I’ve asked for a second chance but she said no. And I left on a good note. And I blocked her so I don’t contact her idk what to do
love your videos man!!!
hello Dan, few months ago my wife 0f 17 years divorced me. she chose her career over me. a month after divorce came back and asked me if a forgive her for divorcing me. what should I do or say? even though I still love her dearly.I just don't trust going back to her, I lack of enthusiasm and energy that I had when we were couple.
I have disappeared from her life. I am in NC, I handled the breakup PERFECTLY! NOTHING has changed.. Lol. The only think that has changed is that she moved on completely and I am still waiting for her to contact.. It's almost as funny as it is sad...
p.s. when she reaches out, she makes it perfectly clear that she doesn't even care for me as a human being..
This is why I don't recommend NC. In most ex back cases, the woman doesn't feel attracted to her guy anymore, so she doesn't care if he goes NC. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/BWK8QjBoyao/видео.html
I understand. But I am not ignoring her. I am just not reaching out to her because when she contacts she me makes it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to talk to me beyond about what she is calling me for (business stuff). She doesn't even tell me "how are you", she just deals with business and hang up. I am in NC because she seems totally closed to communication.
NC: I mean I am not reaching out to her, but I reply to her if she does. Also when I am saying that I wait for her to contact, I am wating for her to communicate with me as a human being that shows a little bit of caring, and not like a robot.
Thanks for your reply Dan, I really appreciate that :)
That would be because you are either asking for a relationship or giving off the impression that you want a relationship. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
Dan! I gave my ex an ultimatum, she of course chose not being with me, and then the next day i started begging for her to be back. Am I fucked?
Hi Dan, is there anyway i can get a video on a special case..
Hiya what do you get your ex back system really enjoyed it makes a lot of sense met up with my wife and tried playing it cool even know she dropped free big bombshells she said she wants a divorce soon as possible she'd even willing to say she cheated to get for it quicker even know she keeps telling me she didn't do I sign the paperwork or try to stall her any advice appreciated
Great to hear of your progress so far. If you have my program, you need to do Step 3 from the system (don't mention what that is here please! :) ). You should also watch this: ruclips.net/video/J0MtRKER1h4/видео.html
Dan Bacon i've watched it and working on it
Hi Dan, I been split from my ex for about 6 or 7 weeks after being together for close to 6 years, since our split she has started seeing another man casually I been told via a mutual friend, in the beginning I have done all the wrong things... Begging and pleading and trying to convince I have changed!! I wish i read your stuff earlier!! I hga tried the catch up approach and shot down and I have come across as needy and desperate.... Since our break up I have changed quite a bit and understand that how much I love her and want her back!!! After being told she would rather not catch up my texts are replied to quickly but only one or 2 words and pretty cold.... How do i go about getting her to meet me and showing the change and looking to create the spark again..... Thanks so much for your help!!!
This will help you: ruclips.net/video/ys2cutNdOZs/видео.html
Dan Bacon!- how would you word a txt so that we can meet face to face?? Since coming across as needy and pathetic my texts are responded with one or two word replies..... What could I say to gain that spark to meet me and begin attracting her again?? Appreciate your help Dan!!!
What can i do after 3 years? Shes my ex mrs we spent 15 years together and have 4 children. We still see eachother breifly when kids stay over etc. I made ALL the mistakes mentioned. I didnt even come across these videos until a few weeks ago. Iv always wanted her back. She dumped me cos leading upto it we werent getting on as well.. with 4 kids we didnt spend enough time together away from kids...both were working around each other ...me in the day..her in eves etc. At the start i begged..pleaded...cried.... sucked up for weeks... harrased her with calls and long texts. She blocked me. That made me more crazy. Started calling her names... and basically made things worse.. after a while she would unblock me and id go right back to harrasinng her. So id get blocked again. Fast forward to 1 year she went on holiday for her birthday with her friends. Again, thid caused a rift as she gave me 3 hours notice before setting off to airport leaving me with kids and having to make arrangements with work last minute to work around kids school for a week. That action of hers caused further arguments.. out of annoyance i did the same (4 months later) and went on a last minute holiday to Turkey with mates. Again...causing more friction. Basically i know theres been mistakes from me and from her (whether she realises or not and has kept it to herself) .. i have admitted my errors to her and tried pushing to be back together but she wasnt having it ... clearly i know now that was due to the tension that was still there. Shortly after reading some stupid stuff online i went into no contact (by this point it had been almost 2 years) thinking if she wants me she will come to me. Since then she had contacted me here and there via my 15 year old sons mobile phone asking general things about car insurance...and on other occasions other things. ... and my stupid ass just answered her questions and nothing further ...i was playing "hard to get" angle. Fast forward to start of pandemic i lost my job and so dealing with new issues and financial struggle i started working as a taxi driver (i had gotten a taxi badge a few months before luckily as i was going to start doing weekend nights before pandemic for extra cash as house needed work doing) however working as a taxi driver in the pamdemic meant i was working 80 hours a week to scrape a living and again this took my attention away from her as i was struggling and stressed while apllying for other jobs. Finally got a job 6 months ago and alot of stress disappeared. However now i fear i have pushed her away as she may be assuming im not interested anymore and im really scared as i dont want to loose her and my family forever. Last i heard shes "friends" with a single father. Im hoping its not too late and i can win her back.
So if she broke up with you and you didn’t do anything how do I go from there
Dan Bacon sir, I hv committed serious mistakes while in relationship as well as post breakup like I hurt myself, felt insecure, called her mom, shown her needy, begged, cried. Now she talks to me rarely n talking n blaming only abt dis. What should I do to get her back?
When you say interact should I text her or wait until tomorrow to start contacting her cause I contacted her yesterday and she didn’t even reply so idk what to do and it’s driving me crazy🤦🏽♂️😔
Hey Dan, thanks for this opportunity and sorry for the long message. First of all, I am one of your client, and I've bought your get your ex back super system (I dropped you an email anyway to discuss some suggestions for improvements)
In 7 months apart (5 of which spent in Australia), I went through step 1-2 of your system, on my own. Meanwhile, she found another guy, who was "who she always looked for in her life". We didn't have arguments and we left each other on good notes, however I was heartbroken and she was too. I was blocked on all social media and all chats. When I came back from Australia I applied directly the step 4 of the system, skipping step 3 because i thought it was he best thing to do in my case. She was so happy to hear me and agree immediately to catch up to say hello because I had been away for many months. I have applied all your techniques in the system at the meet up, using humour, being light hearted, teasing her, etc. She then said to me that she has always been missing me and she blocked me on all social media because, even though she was in a relationship, she continued to go to my profile, checking if I was online etc. Then she said that she's not happy with her new guy (of six-seven months now), because he is the complete opposite of me and he's doing so many things that are turning her off (he's extremely jealous of me, he hates me, he is too possessive, he is not culturally very intelligent, he curses against god a lot and she hates that, and many other things, maybe more important that she didn't tell me). She's missing all the good things about me, and now at the phone and at the meet up she said she was impressed by the new me, because I am the same person she fell in love with, but at the same time I am much more improved now.
But here is the problem: she said she's now confused. Basically she blames herself for not being able to maintain a relationship: first with me, I was the only man she wanted to be with in her life but I made too many mistakes and she did not accept them, then with this guy. She then confessed me that she might want to leave this country with a one ticket flight in September to escape from her problems, without telling him, because she doesn't feel ok with him anymore, but she can't go back with me. "I'm not jumping from one guy to the other: I have a problem with guys and relationship, I'm going to leave all of these behind".
What do I do now? I told her good things about the guy, and I defended him, which looked so mature coming from myself and she really appreciated it. However, what do I have to do now? I know that she's not happy with him, but she wants to leave everyone behind now. She doesn't want to add me on Facebook because she said that she still feels something for me but she can't go back and because her new guy will become very VERY mad.
Great to hear of your progress so far! You sound like you've really improved in the meantime. That said, I'm not happy to hear that you skipped step 3 though! :( :) Why? Guys always say they are having trouble when they skip step 3. It's so important. It's not in the system for fun - it's a very important, highly tested, proven to work step of the process. BTW: Don't mention what Step 3 is here. That's private information. About what you should do now: Stop asking for a relationship or hinting at it. Do this instead: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html I believe you can get her back. Get her back! You can do it.
Dan Bacon I skipped phase 3 because I wanted to ask her step 3 during step 5 (I know you can get it) as my situation was a bit different. Trust me, it would have been just so weird to do step 3 before step 4-5 in my situation. So in the end I wanted to do all steps in the program, but just not in that order because I thought it was the best thing to do for my case, doing step 3 after I showed her all the improvements I made during step 5. However, as I said above, she basically said "no" for a reason (she suffers to see me because she feels something for me and she's confused). That just turned around EVERYTHING and now I am like "woah, ok. This was totally not expected".
Thanks for the tips though!
How about if you've been apart for years, even lost contact. Now occasionally text? We even went out on a couple of dates last year, but she constantly put me as her lowest priority, so I walked again. But can't get her out of my mind.
Hi dan how do i get in touch with you, im in a similar position at the moment, we have been split for 3 weeks and i have done all those mistakes i shouldnt have and i really care for this girl. she broke up with me because she doesnt feel love for me anymore because of the small mistakes i have done and havent paid attention to her needs and details. i now know what to do im putting all into action at the moment. i have to move out this week as at the moment i am living with her and she needs her space i hvave given her a week to think but she seems stubborn about her decision and it didnt help what i said, i was too needy about things and i made the mistakes i shouldnt have. what to do, i need to talk. thank you for the videos
What if she just needs time? We just dated but kissed then she friend zoned me.. Worth persuing still?
How do I reach you for a consultation?
Hey Dan great videos! I'm learning a lot with your videos, but there still one thing i can fully grasp and that is how to make her feel attracted again? do i just simply text her chat a bit ask her how are classes going make her laugh and then stop replying ? please help
So in my case its been 4 months since the breakup. In the begining she reached out to me a few times but that has fallen by the wayside. She will still respond to text fairly quick however The last time we talked when we talked she informed me she was seeing someone . This was posted on facebook which is something that she wouldnt do with me as in the begining she found it hard to tell her kids which was never resolved when we were dating. this could be a drawback as It has releived some conflict in her head she had when she was dating me. We did have a bery close deep relationship communication, passionate fun time together the drawback was the kids thing and a conflict she had was how can the first person I meet after my divorce be so perfect caring and loving. Ive hit a roadblock as part of me says jjst walk away but there is the other part that knows how wonderful things can be.
If she is still with the new guy, this video will help you understand what you need to do to get her back: ruclips.net/video/ys2cutNdOZs/видео.html
me and my ex wife have been divorced for 3 years she got remarried and is getting divorced again, in our marriage I neglected her and payed her no attention but I have since then changed my attitude and my bad habits but still hard to show her otherwise how can i prove to her that I m more mature and won't go back to my old ways when she's being distant and cold
I assume she is being distant and cold via text, right? If so, you have to get to a phone call and an in person meet up so she can experience it for herself. If you have been talking to her on the phone and meeting up in person, just make sure that you're focussing on getting her smiling and laughing and feeling attracted to you, rather than discussing the relationship or acting just like a friend. Talk to her and use flirting like you would with a new woman that you were seducing. You might find this helpful: ruclips.net/video/y_bY1Jae0FE/видео.html
This all really makes sense
I have a question, does this mean in order to do this you can be the first to reach out after no contact to execute this plan
coach help! she broke up with me 4 montha ago... since then, i bought a new car, a house, went to the gym and became a 2.0 version of myself...
we stayed in touch here and there until last month that she told me she wants ro date someone else... i took it hard but respected her and took a step back.
a week ago i sent her a fun message with a sweet memory of a cacation we went together.. she replyed to me with love.
now im stuck... how can i break the ice again after a week? and what are the steps that i can make to make her come back and forget about that other guy after 2.5 years that we have been together???
I have a video coming out about rebound relationships tomorrow. It will apply to your situation and I provide an example of how to ask her to meet up with you. Stay tuned!
Hi Dan I have a problem I broke up with my girlfriend and she's just pulled away from me
So I haven't spoken o my ex in about 7 days now, and she asked for space saying that she's not sure how much she wants as she doesn't want to put a "timer" on it. I understand that she wants me to be more independent and work on myself as a person more. She has been upset throughout the days of no contact as we simply haven't talked at all, except for 1 time when she bumped into me but little words were exchanged. I'm unsure as to how I should go about contacting her. For instance; after her prom and small party on the following day is over and out of the way, or now for instance. In addition to that, would asking her to go for a drink to talk and catch up be better than starting the contact via text or phone? Any advice for my situation would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Yes, go for an in person meet up if you can because texting an ex usually leads to misunderstandings and wasted time. Don't ask for a relationship at the meet up. Just re-attract her, hook up (if you can) and get her back, or just get her to be open to staying in touch. Watch this about re-attracting her: ruclips.net/video/iPuCD4vkdXo/видео.html
Thank you man
You're welcome. Glad to help!
Dan I'm lost. She broke up with me over a text almost 2 weeks ago, we met up last week and when she was explaining myself I basically told her I was going to kill myself, without actually meaning it. I Don't want to lose her, and It's hard trying not to message her or try to talk to her, but I miss everything. I want to give her a few days of space up to a week, but is it even salvageable after that? I want to be with her for the rest of my life.
What do you do if you initially gave an ultimatum but then suggested jokingly being friends? Is it about leading them towards feeling attracted again even if they pull away or ghost?
My Ex Wife said she couldn't do this anymore and packed up and moved to South Carolina with her mom. We were together for 7 yrs and married for 10 months. It's been since Feb 3rd since she's been gone. And even though it's getting easier! I'm still having issues with the whys and how's and why she never said goodbye to her stepson. He's 14 now. We have blocked each other from everything and have no communication now. And I still love her and wish she would communicate with me but she's being immature and the divorce isn't even final yet. She's avoiding everything and all of her past back here in Indiana as well as her responsibilities with the divorce. What do I do? I know you don't want us to do the 30 day no contact but what can I do if she's blocked me from everything except Email?
In blocked ex back cases, you need to use more detailed techniques that I only teach in my program: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html This free video will also help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
Men you're amazing omg now I see what you are saying is all true why I was so stupid I really appreciate all you do for people thanks you dan
Hi Dan, I am at a total loss on what to do, My ex just broke it off saying she just wanted to be friends, it has been a couple months, she wont answer my calls or text. When she will talk and I try to see if we can meet up even as friends she will say no. I have made a few of the mistakes that you say not to do, being needy, texting her to much, asking for another chance., I think one of the things is making it real difficult is she is bipolar, I have went through your super system, and it dont seem to work with her, I do love her, and want her back,
Hi Ken - have you completed Step 3? I assume you haven't, which is why that is happening! :) Note: Please don't mention what step 3 is all about here. That's private info. About the mistakes you've been making: I recommend that you stop asking for a relationship and do this instead ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html Stay strong, focus on attraction and you will get another chance with her. Even though you were asking her to catch up as friends, it sounds like she didn't believe you (most likely because you skipped step 3). If she absolutely says no to catching up, use Option 2 here: www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-persuade-my-ex-to-meet-up-with-me-for-coffee.html
How would you approach initiating conversation if you've been making incredible changes in your life, and you want a dialog, but she does not want to talk to you? I'm going through a divorce and I made a lot of mistakes doing things you said not to do and I ultimately ended up being an annoyance. I would like to be able to interact with her, but she's annoyed by contact. She also lives in another state at the moment so any interaction would be via text or phone calls. I appreciate everything you do.
Great to hear of your personal progress so far. However, that's not something she really wants to hear about. If she gets the sense that you're trying to sell yourself to her, it will come across as desperate and turn her off. So, just make progress and let her pick up on it naturally. About her being annoyed by your contact: www.themodernman.com/blog/why-your-ex-replies-to-your-texts-in-a-cold-distant-way.html You need to use a different approach to her from now on. If you need in depth help with that and lots of examples, go to: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html
Hey Dan been following your videos for a year or so, anyway my ex girlfriend and I got in a fight about a week ago and I said something's that were hurtful and untrue but I was just pissed. When she said she hated fighting then dumped me. I have been off and on with her for two years but this time I said "if you're done then block me" and sure enough she has blocked me everywhere and I have no way to contact her and she has dropped my clothes off. This was last week still haven't heard from her since. What shall I do?
In blocked ex back cases, you need to use more detailed techniques that I only teach in my program: www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-super-system-download-watch-online.html These two free videos will also help you: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/MMIY68d_KCM/видео.html
hi Dan hey I really need your help to get my spouse back she left me nine months ago and she doesn't want to talk or let me see her things been rough I really want to work out things with her we have two children together and have been with her for 23 years together and 15 yrs living together.that is how old my daughter is and my boy is 10.I don't know what happened I knew something was going on but she didn't let me know what is going on you think you can help.
Trying to "work things out" and get her to want a relationship is the mistake you are making. Do this instead: ruclips.net/video/wJOHo4M4DK0/видео.html
Hi Dan! In last 3 months we have this "pause" thing with my girlfriend, she said to me that it is because I'm away during the week (because of work for 9 month, I will be back in august). We stop seeing each other during weekend's and when we finally see each other it's very strange situation (she reminds me all of my errors etc.), although she said that she really likes me, but she don't want to be in a relationship if I'm away during the week and can't be with her. Our relationship was just perfect before I had to travel away. I once apologize for all my things I Do wrong and she said it's too late, go seeing other guys but then she behave like she wants back when I return and I don't understand that much.
You need to get back into the position of power in the relationship: ruclips.net/video/HHSamPlVsXs/видео.html
Dan, I'm extremely confused. Last week my ex broke up me with but still she admitted her feelings towards me. A day later prior to the break up she texted me that we could watch movies together and she agreed that we could get back to the relationship, and later sleept over at my place. Then the next day before her vacation, she apologized to me and her eyes were almost filled with tears saying that she shouldn't have sleept over at my place. She told me to move on despite still having feelings for me. I acted desperate and needy and she ignored me. So I decided to do the no contact, 7 days after she decided to call me and check up on me, she also stated that she missed hearing from me that she missed my voice (2 days ago). We talked about for 15min before I had to cut her short telling her that I had to go for a walk with a friend. But she still wanted to talk. My question is, how should I go from There?
You can get her back by not pushing for a relationship. Just make her feel attracted, meet up with her, hook up with her sexually and then don't push for a relationship. Let her be the one who wants it and asks for it. When she does, just accept it, but don't get too excited about it being a "relationship" again. Just keep making her feel attracted, hook up with her, don't chase and let her want you. Also, make sure that you're spending time working on your goals and ambitions in life, so you don't put too much focus on her.
Dan Bacon alright thanks. But as far when it comes to phone calls or text, should we take turns with who contacts? like since she called me 2 days ago, then I'm the one that should call her next? (I called her today but made the conversation short like 10min). The reason why I'm asking this is because, I want do it right on a timely manner, before I accidentally fall back to "I hope she comes back to me by not contacting her for too long" kind of guy.
Hey Dan how could I apply this if I am living far away from her. She's in Norway and I'm in Singapore. We have been together in a long distance relationship for 3 years. But we broke up 3 weeks ago