Why You Lose Friends
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's video! Head to squarespace.com/Anna to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ANNA
thank you for your support! / annaakana
connect
Instagram: / annaakana
Twitter: / annaakana
Facebook: / annaakana
Spotify: spoti.fi/2MvmYjE
starring -
Melissa Macedo
/ melissamacedom
Michelle Macedo
/ michellemacedom
shot by Eric Lombart
/ ericlombart
grip - Melissa Gasca, John Lee
sound - John Lee
edited by Timothy Hautekiet
/ @timh
gfx by Bethany Radloff
/ bethberad 
Приколы
Losing friends is hard especially when they break it off by poofing into black smoke
Yes
Girl yes
Coming from someone who does this :( I personally feel uncomfortable to share why it didnt work out considering it would just cause more potential conflicts and ending on bad terms. Is there really a way to repair something you want to break off and not make them feel defensive D:
Personally if I don't see the friendship lasting I end up distancing myself since expecting someone to change is unfair too..
I'm like that though. Not right away but when I'm done I just remove someone from my life by poofing ! I do want to be better at friendship break ups
You are literary everywhere 😭😭😭
Last time I was this early I still had my friends.
i was about to make the same joke hahaha
Ouch
same bestie
Lol
that's rough buddy
Hate the saying "you can never lose a friend, that just means they were never your friend in the first place" i stupidly believed that for a time until a recent experience taught me otherwise. Friendships are so complex i wish more people realized that :(
I have fewer than 1 friend in the World. That's right. Everybody disses me for making bad videos. I think they are perfect though. Who is right? My dissers or me? Which side are you on, dear al
So what if I lose one of my friends because she moves away and we never see each other any more. Does that mean she was never really my friend?
@@shadowfox781 no it doesn't! Many of my friendships have ended just because of circumstance. And I miss and love those people. They were friends.
I agree completely. a relationship doesn't have to last for life to be meaningful. Sometimes we meet at a particular time and place, when we need each other and that relation is important. If it ends doesn't mean that it wasn't important at that particular time
Human relationships, not just friendships, are complex.
To quote my therapist, "Just because change is sad doesn't mean it's bad."
SO GOOD
How does she know what is going on in my life?!?
IKR???
For real 😩
I guess we are all going through this, don't worry.
Right ?this is exactly what I needed!
Woow... So many people going through the same thing.
Wish you *all* the best
"I'm sorry that you..." is the mark of an incoming non-apology
i had a friend who used to do that all the time. I got so annoyed so i talked to my other friends about it. She found out and told me that i gossiped and that i had to 'confront her' instead of talking behind her back. She was totally right but also... CONFRONTING HER NEVER DID ANYTHING XD bc she never actually gave me an apology!
Could you explain to me what this means?
@@hannahh8119 Yeah I’m curious too!
@@hannahh8119 it’s not apologising because they said “i’m sorry that you” instead of “i’m sorry that i” they are blaming you for something in disguise as an apology
@@hannahh8119 when you say "I'm sorry that you" it means you're making assumptions and speaking on behalf of someone else, even if they didn't want you to. It's a way to shift blame the other person rather than taking responsibility for your part in the issue.
One example is "I'm sorry that you're just so sensitive." You can't apologize for someone else's feelings and reactions because they themselves might not be sorry, but it makes it sound like they did something wrong.
Life gets easier when you just accept that everything about it is temporary. Including most of your relationships. I just let everything take its natural course.
I like this philosophy 👍🏼 will remember this 😊
😣
Very true. That was a recent realization of mine.
💗💗
Wowwww
Friendship is so difficult. I‘ve had friends just leave without a word, I’ve had friends who I‘ve tried hard to keep the friendship with, friends who betrayed me. It’s an awful feeling. I really try to be a good friend. I‘ve checked up on friends randomly to see how they are. Then I realized..I was the only one doing it. And then I began to question what friendship meant...
This is so true. I always find that I am the one always making the effort. I keep telling myself friendship is not a one way thing and we both need to work on it. Yet I always seem to give people the benefit of the doubt..... What are people we consider friend, do everything for, and never return the same thing back???
@@bobbysmith8095 Yes!!! But then I also think, should I always expect the other person to do what I do? Shouldn’t it be care and love where you don’t expect reciprocation? I get so confused sometimes!! Even something simple like..”I always call him/her out for dinner, but they never call me out”! 😟 Should I care or just enjoy the time together??
@@LifewithMiu I think the best thing to do is: Don't call or invite say person and see if they call/invite you. If they don't for a long time (a month) move on cuz if they care they would eventually call/invite you out. That what I am doing. If my friend care at all she will be the first to make a move for once. I am not calling/inviting her again till she make the first move.
@@bobbysmith8095 I did experiment with that, but a lot of times..the result is ..they never call you. And you end up not seeing them for months and months, until you make the first move again! You can’t win.. :(
Communication really matters when it comes to friends. We must try our hardest to be up front and say what we want and how we want it. It's important to make sure the dynamic is properly established otherwise people just tend to do whatever they want.
I've definitely lost a bunch of friends over the last couple years. A majority of the times we outgrew each other but there were some cases where it was a toxic friendship so I had to cut it off. I used to hold onto the belief that I had to have friends for a lifetime but Ive learned to accept that some people are meant to come and go out of your life and thats okay!!
100% Same
Truth!
Outgrowing friendships is the best way to end them, I guess
yeah i found some friends distance for status. so many of my friends once they found a job right after graduation grew a huge ego. they looked down on the underemployed. and some were toxic who wanted to work hard labour because the career jobs were not worth it. and then there were those who dangled jobs but ghosted me afterwards for a while and pretended it was so easy to land a job.
A few years ago I had a somewhat falling out with two of my best friends at the time. For the longest time I believed I was the problem because I was the only one making the effort to see them/make plans and it made me wonder what I could have done wrong. I could’ve expressed more appreciation for the things one friend had done for me. But regardless, I believe I did end up outgrowing them both.
Not only could I have been a better friend but I can recall times when they could’ve been better as well. They were also content with where they were at in life at the time but I was always somebody who wanted more. I did learn things from those relationships, on how to be a better friend but also how I deserve to be treated by my friends.
I realized a few years ago that most of the friendships I had were toxic. It was because when I was in high school I didn’t know how to speak up, and now that I’m older and found myself, I had to say goodbye to a lot of those people so I could grow. It hurts, but I feel so much better.
I had a similar situation recently. I’m still feeling conflicted about it. I know they were hurting my self esteem but we’d been friends for so long that I felt guilty for leaving them.
I honestly went through the same. For you, have you ever thought it would be worthwhile to go back to those relationships as your new, outspoken and confident self (i.e. not being the silent and complicit person you used to be)?
Do you think those old relationships could work out, at least based on your effort to rekindle old friendships?
I ask, because in my case, I wonder if it would be good for me to try to do so with my past old friendships, now with the changed person I am, or if it's just better to not look back and find new people instead.
@@Checkmate1138 they watched me grow into the outspoken confident person I am now and made it clear that they were not happy with that new part of me. So that is why I said goodbye 🤍 so in short, the answer to your question is no, it was best for in my case to move on
Yeah I'm going through a very similar path lately and I've always been too nice and people have taken advantage of that too much in my youth, so now the moment people shows signs of serious selfishness and of untrustworthy behavior I take my distance
Same, now I'm lonely
0:19 "Forgive and forget cause God" AHAHAHA
I haven't had friends in so long that I can't tell if I miss having them or not.
Same here
Same, when i think about it especially a handfull of friends i get stressed out by the idea i have to give them all attention, love and energy equally. I think i am better of alone with just the love of my life and a dog xD
@@ThaliaCrow omg same
@@ThaliaCrow I lost my dog, my one true friend, three days ago. We had the best relationship and he was my only honest company for so long (beside my parents), I'm desperate now and don't know what to do
@@laragenter i am so sorry for you loss. I lost one too :( on he first day of easter. We had 2 dogs. My advice, if you want that, take your time to heal sounds obviously, but it happens that humans try to fill the void with another dog. That doesn't work. I know it feels lonely depressing maybe even. Try to talk with someone even a professional if that's possible. I'll send you lots of healing vibes anyways ^_^ take care
I dont have friendships to repair because we never talk about it...the friendships just stays friendly at the same time like a stranger to me
This exact thing happened with me
@@-niemand-6848 ok... but like why are you me tho..
I’ve learned that it’s best to just address the issue because you may be able to avoid it now but it will come up later
I feel the same way about certain friendships. Some labelled as best friends seems like a stranger now
They refuse to talk to me what’s wrong. 😭It was so hurt, so painful, so confusing. I kept doubt myself what’s wrong. 😭😭😭This one triggers all my emotions all over again.
Friendships are such an underrated type of relationships
Friendships are rare, superficial friends are more common
@@Proposal12 yes ☹️
what would an over rated relationship be then?
My childhood friends might have been lost due to unfixable ruptures. But for the last few years, the friends I lost were because we just grew apart. They became busy in their lives and had different lifestyles and interests and we couldn't relate to each other anymore. There was never a fight or any hard feelings but one day the meetings stopped, texts became lesser and lesser and priorities shifted. I am still fond of those friends and the time we spent together, but can't go back to that as we are different people now. Different for the better.
I hear this x
you chose different paths. . .
you are right
Yes💯
Thanks for your comment really.
I've had just a hard hour seeing my old friends hanging out together on sum's event i don't love that much anymore.Tho i wasn't able to go due to distance it broke my heart in someway though.
Ability to apologize is KEY. I was fully ready to forgive an ex friend, provided that she actually acknowledged her pattern of toxic behaviour and apologized. Instead, she tried to gaslight me into thinking I was in some sort of mental turmoil that made me overreact. Thanks to my having been in therapy for years, it didn't work and I'm grateful for that kind of clarity and peace in my life now.
I’m in the same exact situation! Glad you came out of it ok and didnt let her lies get to you.
Or you had a disagreement and you abuse the term gaslight to avoid responsibility
@@danielhart7435 stop being a douche. You don’t know the persons situation. All your comments are full of negativity. Go find a hobby.
Same Lol
@@bruh2390 I’m sorry if a different perspective is too much for you. Grow up already. You’re right. I don’t know this person. That’s why I’m gonna remain skeptical. Playing devils advocate is not the same as being a “negative douche”.
I've only recently learned that having toxic friends is not actually better than having no friends. I find hope and peace in working on myself while trying to find a new support system without the weight of people who only seek to use and oppress me.
I needed to see your comment. thank you
I talked to my therapist about this issue because I always thought there was something wrong with me. Until I realized that there isn't, it's normal. And I think that there are relationships that evolve and mature like fine wine and others that simply don't, and it's fine. Thank you for the message, Anna.
You’re damn right. There are friends that you will stop talking to whether you’re on good terms with them or not.
I ended a friendship that was actually 3 people at the same time and I still feel bad for how I left, but at the same time those friendships were actually toxic. Still feel bad...
Saaaaaame but thats also learning and at the end of the day it was toxic and you removed yourself and thats selflove.
I feel that, especially the weird guilt you feel from breaking apart from them. But it's still good and healthy you broke off from the toxic friendships in the end. There's always dealing with the weird and guilt feeling in friendship breakup aftermath. Glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this
Im in THIS situation right now. It’s really hard and confusing. I don’t know what im going to do tho. Anyway, let’s switch to you: remember that you did leave for a reason: it was toxic. Man, I can imagine how bad you feel about it. I wish you all the best. 3 at the same time is really difficult. :/ Why do friendships have to be so hard sometimes lol
I went through that same thing! I apologized immediately, and recognized where I went wrong, but then they belittled me, said my apologize was lame (even though they didn't apologize & didn't feel they had to), and then they attacked me when I stepped away from the friendship. It's better to lose those kinds of friends, than hold on to them and become their punching bag!
@@Sunflowers_220 Yes there was a point where my mind went like "no, not again, not anymore...". Felt like breaking up with a boyfriend almost
For someone who is not confrontational like me, talking to a friend about what they did wrong is terrifying
I ghosted her because of that trait of mine. I totally regretted afterwards
I have the same issue 😭
dear god, get therapy
Just write a damn letter omg
Sometimes you need to make space for the new to come in 🙂
The more you are YOU, the more the "friends" who didn't truly resonate with you, start to leave. And that is OK. You will start attracting friends who love you for you, (the real you).
💓
Excellent advice. I have said this exact same thing to many people because I have seen it happen in my own life many times.
This made me feel better
I like having real friends
That sounds a bit sad but also true.
As long as breakups are peaceful, that should be fine.
okay ☺️😍
The more im me the faster people run away. Yes I check up on friends. Yes I try to be there for them whenever I can. I am a bpd'er and cant always feel good, but most of the times find myself being the therapist for them. I now believe that people dont want any meaningful relationships at all and its just to use one another. I am once again utterly dissapointed. People stay people :)
I lost many friends after i stopped reaching out to see if they would contact me first it turns out I always had to be the initiator in order to keep the relationship going and without that person who organized everyone the flakiness just ended with many drifting apart so its probably for the better
Oh wow that was me, but also I talked to my friend about it although not in a good way cause I was a hormonal teen but then she started chatting me first too.
Same here. I got tired of being the one that always reached out, so I just kind of stopped to see who would reach out to me. It's been almost six years and none of them ever have, so it's just me now. Better to free-wheel than third-wheel, yeah?
@@erinhaury5773 Sorry to hear that but glad you found some semblance of peace.
@@justsomeone4397u are Lucky she understood how she made u feel that way and tried to make it better . My friends ( they are my best friend and oldest ) havent me replied in 25 day and one of them always look my insta stories . So i think she is trying to say sth like dont talk me again .
9 months, and they haven't reached out to me. We used to hang out because I initiated everything. I'm still hurt, but I am much better as I have accepted that they don't care about me like I care about them. 😢
as someone who's spent their early 20's just gaining and losing/leaving friend groups every year, this one hit home and broke a window
Me: ''I'm not angry, just disappointed that this is what you're really like''
Yeah I don't really bother with people anymore
womp womp womp
woooooooooo!! is that why us adults look bored all the time unlike when we were kids? it's that general apathy of unmet expectations?
@@Elven. as kids we weren't aware of the indoctrination & looked at the world differently before we felt this insecurity of growing up. It's recommended to pick a hobby that brings that joy back & spend more time with kids bc we can also learn from them
Throwback to when Anna was regularly fighting crime and keeping Gotham Awesome!
I had a friend who didn’t put in effort in maintaining the friendship, it was always me reaching out. Eventually, I just gave up and she never reached out either. I don’t regret this one bit, like you said Anna, its a weed out process!
That’s exactly how it was with an old friend of mine too! I still feel sad because of that lost connection. It’s okay though because I was always the one that seemed to care way too much. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
I used to have a friend and he just make any new friends because he’s always angry about how he hates this and that too much.
She wasn't your friend if she wasn't willing to put in the effort.
You don’t have to try and repair something. Sometimes a fight will expose the real situation between people and then they realise the reality of the relationship.
this is getting really creepy. how do you upload videos SO EXTREMELY RELEVANT to my life at literally the exact moment that i need to hear the lessons you’re trying to teach?? are you in my room anna? do you have cameras installed here? How are you doing this
Same by bestie of five years literally just ghosted me two days ago and I’ve been wallowing in bed over it lmao
look behind you
@@xAlphaBxtch Aw, im sorry you had to go through that. Stay strong! And i hope things work out
It' called the Barnum effect
Because this topic is very relevant to the vast majority of people.
When I was in college, my best friend moved onto a new best friend and when I (stupidly & drunkenly) confronted her about it on her 21st birthday and told her how much it hurt me, her response was that I just wasn't available as much since getting a boyfriend. Damn that hurt when I was expecting an apology, but now I realize I confronted her in a very attacking manner and her defenses went up immediately. Needless to say, we may not be as close now that we are almost 10 years older and in different parts of the country, but she's still one of my closest friends and it was worth mending those painful moments to stay friends. 💕
Fun fact: Friendship breakups can be as bad or worse as relationship ones. You go throught the same pain as you would with a partner, but you have one fewer person in your support group.
This is not fun.
A good-but not fun-point.
Finally someone said it
Right!!! Been there
Yes very painful I hate to think that our friendship is over it's hurt me so much
Damn my sister told me her break up with her ex is more heart breaking than me losing my friend. Im glad everyone else feel the same way as I do.
friendship breakups have been more painful to me than romantic breakups because i haven't had access to content like this to normalize friendship ruptures. thank you for sharing this anna! ❤️
yah itz like surgery eh
She’s so right about those overused sayings, they are kinda toxic. Things are what they are. We don’t have to follow overused sayings.
Yes! Well said.
My personal favorites are "Everything happens for a reason" and "It is what it is" and "God helps those who help themselves."
Seriously, who comes up with this nonsense?
@@shadowfox781 privileged disconnected people come up with them
@@iheartjbgccb Thank you. Now I know what to say to someone the next time he or she says one of these moronic slogans to me.
@@shadowfox781 of course, they need to be aware & if they care they'll stop saying it but probably keep the signs in their house lol
all my friendship ruptures just made me realize that I can't rely on others. It made me feel like I had to keep the communication low and things surface level so that there's no conflict.
although I like to remain great friends with some people, I realized that their inability to acknowledge how much they hurt me and apologize makes me feel like they don't value our friendship.
This is so important... The amount of times I have seen or experienced friendships or potential friendships ruptured because people don't communicate is truly tragic. I'm guilty of avoiding confrontation, too, but this is a good reminder to not just be intentional about making friends, but to be intentional about keeping them.
So true!
As the queen of loosing friends I can confirm this 🥲
Hi can we be friends? God bless you
Since I was a kid I always think that friends aren't gonna last forever, that graduation is really the end. So I never bothered to get into deep friendship. Until I realized how toxic I've been when I had the chance to form a friendship, and quickly despised the fact that those friendships actually helped me because I believed that having friends don't matter in life.
The problem I have with friendships is that I let go easily ..it's scary how I no longer care about who stay and who leave I don't have the time and energy to fix a broken friendship anymore
Same here
Sounds like you’re really good at being an aquaintance
People grow and evolve all the time. Especially when you're young. Person you thought you knew became someone completely different. That doesn't mean they weren't a good friend before. I used to love my friend group, but when I got into another group I realised I wasn't insecure, it's just that my old friends started to make me feel like a loser and an ugly lame friend
I've always had somewhat of a cycle of friends. Usually it's getting close and then drifting apart, and then getting closer to someone who I barely knew, and cycle repeats. About 3 years or so.
Ex took the friends of 20 years with her. Never heard anything from them since divorce. That was a surprise for me. But my friends from my youth stayed by my side. one of them i am knowing since kindergarden 50 years ago. they helped me through this dark times. i'm really glad i have them. Thats not granted for everyone!
I had such a close friend and now it’s been a year since I last talked to him. I realized that our friendship was a 100% my effort and none of his so I decided to just wait until he texted me first for once and it never happened.
My whole friendships are literrally like this .
It's horrible being on the side that's willing to forgive, but where the other person is not able to apologize.
There have been times where I'm on the verge of apologizing myself even when it wasn't my fault, of how much I appreciated the friendship, but having to let go out of self respect...
Exactly .
Repairing the rupture only works when both are willing to make the effort to do that.
I just recently broke it off with a friend whom I’ve known for a decade after realising he’s always been an asshole, always rudely insulted everyone (including all his friends) for no reason even if they never hurt him. I realised I was the only one calling him, asking how he is, letting hi, vent to me, caring. When someone is as incapable of compassion and empathy as he’s always been, it’s just not possible to be friends with them at all. Better to kick people like that out of your life than keep them in it.
I've often tried to repair friendships after hurt feelings and miscommunication but it just didn't work because of those reasons you mentioned. I hate it so much because I loved those people and they meant a lot to me. But I can't force someone to like me or forgive me no matter how hard I try or want them to.
ARE YOU A MIND READER? This has been my life recently, ever since i went to college 5+ years ago, i started loosing friends from my hometown because they thought i changed, was selling out etc, but i was in a process of self discovery, i met new people, made lots of new friends, had a part time job. I graduated a few years ago and im now doing part time grad school. Lots of my old friends stopped talking to me, saying that i've changed, i ain't the same no more, im acting different, i used to feel guilty about growing apart from them, but i shouldn't.
The exact same thing happened to me with my high school friends. If they're upset and they don't tell you that's on them. And they ruined the realtionship. That's what I've learned
Matter of the fact is it doesn’t matter if it’s family,friends a lover you will lose everything eventually it’s just better to not expect anything from anyone rely only on ya self
you can repair ruptures as long as they are not about your defining values or world views. some friendships are just toxic and no compromise is justified.
Yup... I finally came out and told a friend my world views and she ended the friendship.
You always post at like the best times. Like my friend just left me three days ago. And I've been really down. And then you post this.
I hate the most when my friend says, "no offense, but..." you know that you are gonna be offended and you get an immediate chill as you go on alert for the hurt that's coming!
I wonder how many people started therapy because of how much Anna talks about it
modern-day philosopher ariana grandita once said "losing friends left and right, I just send them love and light" ⭐⭐
Ariana Ghandi 💞
🤣🤣🤣
A friend who’s no longer a friend but will remember you and say good things about you was more than just a friend
The Rupture/Repair Cycle
Ruptures:
- Things that disturb relationships (fights, arguments, hurt feelings etc.)
- Unavoidable and will inevitable occur
- Opportunities to strengthen relationships
Repairs:
- The ability to apologize. To recognize and accept that feelings were hurt and take responsibility for it.
- The ability to forgive. To let go of past mistakes, especially when they haven't been repeated.
- The ability to learn. To understand the other's need for love and compassion and how to deliver it to them.
Relationships/Friendships fail when the repairs are not successfully implemented. The ones worth keep and fighting for are the ones where the ruptures get repaired by those involved.
Thanks Anna - you da best!
Thanks for normalizing discussing struggles in friendships, especially when we are bombarded by picture perfect friendships in the media!
I was the toxic one in a friendship a few years ago. I apologized recently and she had kind words for me but we will probably never reconnect again. It does hurt but it’s understandable. I was in a very toxic place back then so I wanted to make sure that she got the apology that she deserved.
Finding good friends depends on your life and emotional circumstances, which are always changing. No wonder people cycle in and out of our lives as we grow and move. You outgrow people and they outgrow you. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with either of you. If you have friends you've had for years and years, that means you've managed to grow and change in ways that are complimentary to each other (or you've both made a concerted effort to keep the relationship alive because the love you have for each other is deep enough to sustain during that much change).
I can't with the grin at "DADDY squarespace" 😭😭😭😭 ugh
Huge Fan, please don't stop doing what you do. You've helped so much with your insightful dialogue not many people want to touch on.
Isn't it better to say: " please. Keep going... "
I ve just lost my best friend yesterday, and it was because sometimes you won't be able to fix it. And you just need to stop and let go, to understand that you don't have to hold into everyone you ve been friends with even if they crush your heart because they only care about themselves while you ve been trying hard for the seek of freinship and faithfulness and all beautiful things. Just let go sometimes, with respect wish them best of luck and walk away.
Some friends are not meant to be forgiven, though.
Some friends are meant to not be your friend anymore, this is true. But try to remember that forgiveness after a hurtful experience is for yourself rather than the other person. Living with resentment or agony or even what feels like quiet indignation is not healthy (just another form of keeping an emotion bottled up), and forgiveness is incredibly complex. How you chose to forgive someone does not have to fit into a box, and when the pain is very significant, the forgiveness will often go through many stages that sometimes take years. I know this firsthand from ruptured friendships that 100% were meant to end (and did), but the resentment and pain (on my end) lasted so very long.
Forgiveness is a gift you can give to yourself, but don't let anyone tell you that you have to do it a specific way. Feel your feelings, but make sure you don't ignore them.
Those type of friends are replaceable anyways
@@erinmcmillin1622 but how do you forgive when it’s just anger towards the other person
AGREE....
No u forgive & just walk away.. Cs that's how u say u are no longer my concern!!
Always thought that I was fated to be a loner cause I was never able to keep my friendships, thank you so much Anna!!! I have learnt a lot.
This rotating friendship thing hit my straight in the heart. I thought something was wrong with me
OMG!! perfect timing!! my bestfriend of 4 years just broke off our friendship and i'd never thought she would. it hurted but i knew i had to move on. thank you for reminding me anna!!
Thank you! This has been a difficult thing to reconcile in my life. I felt destined to never have long last friendships, and largely has been that my past friends never wanted to address conflict or approach it. I’d often either present an issue I was having in our relationship or a boundary, and either have the person aggressively invalidate me or just disappear. I find that so many people don’t know how to address conflict in a healthy way and so many people struggle with empathy.
honestly at this point if someone doesn't say "daddy Squarespace" it feels like a part of my soul left my body
My friendships don’t rupture. They just disappear.
I hate the saying family is everything but I got disowned by family for coming out as bisexual
baby:(
Yoooooo same
I came from a dysfunctional family who disowned me simply for existing, so the saying "Family is everything" is more irritating to me than having diarrhea and hemorrhoids at the same time.
Bless your family.
@@user-fm3xr9yz3i watch it edgelorde almost cut maeself there x
“When friends leave you”
I had a primary friend group and a secondary friend group back when I was in school. I stuck with the primary group because it was comfortable, but the second one formed based on shared values and dreams even though we were all very different ppl. Just as I was realizing this, some of the girls in the primary group got angry with me about a secret I didn't share with them early enough and the entire group dropped me even after I tried to apologize, set more appropriate boundaries/expectations and make amends. Even though ultimately we were meant to go separate ways, the break-up with that group was very painful and I wish I had recognized earlier how much shared values/growth was more important than sticking with friends just bc they were comfortable.
i can't even make friends but it's nice to know how manage friendships for when the time comes.
Calling your sponsor Daddy is hilarious and I love it
i love this... how do you know what's going on in my life always!!! you got a 6th sense
everybody goes thru the same ting EXCEPT: she's supermodel iCarly
This really spoke to me. It's normal for friendships to end or change. When I was a kid I had to take drastic measures just to make sure that I was being loved and that my basic needs were being met. I literally believed that if I didn't get the attention and love I needed, I was going to die. It's a valid concern coming from a small child who can't really survive on their own but sometimes I take that fear into my friendships and relationships even though I'm an adult. For the longest time, I couldn't let my toxic friends or family go because I was too afraid of not having my basic needs met.
i feel our society mixed with social media and outrageous news have made many apathetic to life
I lost my friend last year and just only started recovering now with the help of your videos. I love you anna you are the female role model i needed as a young kid. You are like my sister ❤️
It's 2022, I lost him in 2020 still recovering sadly :)
I just broke up with my best friends 2 hours ago. PERFECT. TIMING.
@@user-wf6nk3mk8q thank you honey but it's fine. It was long overdue! :)
Everyone who seems friendly, arent necessarily your friends!...if you have similar interests , doesnt make a friendship!
If someone does you a favor that wasn't asked of them...be grateful, but tread careful👀
bestie i needed this
Para social realationships are a thing, which aren't healthy
I already know why I lose friends
it's my personality
I feel ya
Your comment made me laugh and feel sad at the same time. Just remember, your personality is like your muscles . . . if you work on it, it will get better.
Define what are your values, and what you value in people!
Same for me lol
As a French person who's hanged out with people from North America, I feel like the culture there makes the friendships more short-lived than in France. The French seem more loyal when it comes to friendship. So I feel like culture is also an important factor. Just my two cents though
Can u elaborate more on. Im interested in what u have to say
I seen a few French people here in Southern California. Some of them smile more and there are some that don’t smile.
That is sooo true
Take me to France
@@danielhart7435 it's important to note that the French are also less friendly than american peeps the first time you meet them. For an American person I guess it can be surprising
I've always been a big proponent of the saying that what is ours will truly never leave us! Wish your past relationships well and keep an open heart moving forward
I’ve followed Ana for years and without failure she stays helping me through the dark times!!!!! I love you girl!
“The nicest people lose the most friends”
-unknown but true
God I wish someone told me this when I was younger, had to find out the hard way
If you were like me and stubborn as hell 😂, you wouldn't have believed it even if you had been told when you were younger. I was that type of person who wanted to believe in my friends. My mom told me multiple times that the friends I had weren't right for me, and I didn't listen. Still found out the hard way, same as you. 😂
I always love it when therapy is healing for you and then you share it with others. Yay! Healing for all.
I like apparently a lot of people stopped watching this channel awhile ago. But I found it again and have been binging the newest stuff. These have gotten so good and useful!
So true. Losing friends is just life and growing up.
Welcome to another episode of Personal Attack
This showed up on my RUclips newsfeed after my childhood best friend ended our friendship last week after a huge fight with lots of drama, she cut me off. It's been hard. Been going to therapy & getting support from my girlfriend & family on this. I'm glad I'm not the only person who is in this position & read so many comments here. Much love 🙏🏾💙
if i would have seen this a year ago, probably wouldn't have believed it but fast forward to now, it surprises me how true this is. i dont expect friendships to last forever but i try to enjoy the moments i have with them now and appreciate their time
Anna: *Talks Marketing and Analytics for Skill Share* Me: "Haha Anna-lytics" Great episode btw, Anna. I always enjoy your videos ^.^
I've lost more friends than I've lost hairs over the last decade. Sad but true. But, you know what? I'm OK with myself. I have expectations of those that I truly let in. If they're just not that type of person. It's OK. What is most sad for me is all of the memories that go out the door with each failed friendship. Sometimes its years; other times its decades. I still wish all of them the best. Thanks for the memories.
Girl your timing for videos like these is so good. I needed this 😭
I think the things that I love about your videos the most is the thought and care that go into them
I used to believe “Forgive and forget” until I realised I was repeating the toxic pattern that was hurting me because of “forget”. How are you supposed to learn the lesson if you keep forgetting? I mean yeah, forgive. But forget? More like accept what happened and move on in your own time. Maybe that's just me, but this is what I've learned so far and I still have a long journey ahead of me. ☺️
Forget, as in, don't let it weigh you down. It doesn't mean "don't learn any lessons from the experience", it means "don't let your past burden you".
@@milzhere Well, forget does mean just that, forget. The saying should be changed to a healthier version like forgive and integrate. It's just an example. 🙂
@@laviniasnow4494 Sure, but of the multiple definitions of forget, I'm referring more to "put out of one's mind; cease to think of or consider". I agree it's a bit counterintuitive, I think it's the go-to just because the alliteration is catchy lol
And these are one of the reasons why I love this channel, it's a free therapy channel that helps you understand certain concepts and how to cope and find a solution to it. ❤
I'm glad you've learned how to keep good friends that's so important.
Yes! This is what I have been mulling over lately. You put my thoughts into a framework that makes sense!
I've had a problem of friendship all my life and I always blame myself...At one point even the people I know thought something was wrong with me.. maybe I was selfish, introverted blaah blaah
But what you said is truly meaningful..
We need to compromise in relationships and try to apologise and fix problems if something goes wrong..
Not have a selfish behaviour and ask without giving...makes me realise why I stopped talking to some people for good!