Patricia The PUPPET MASTER! | WHY DID I GET MARRIED Film Criticism

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

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  • @HeitCheri
    @HeitCheri  Год назад +35

    Who contributed more to the problems in the marriage: Gavin or Patricia? Tell us why below!

    • @serenitygreene5661
      @serenitygreene5661 Год назад +30

      In the first movie, Patricia. After the passing of their son, she shut down which completely normal and don’t fault at all, but she wouldn’t even communicate with her husband who is in the same boat as him which led to him crying to his friends bc his wife couldn’t be there for him because she couldn’t be there for herself. But what made it slightly problematic was when instead of working her martial problems, she was overloaded herself with work so she wouldn’t have to talk to Gavin about what happened. In the second movie, It was most deff Gavin.. But I’ll wait until Pt 2 of this vid to go in detail lol

    • @jinxminxks
      @jinxminxks Год назад +13

      @@serenitygreene5661 I agree, she , at least to me, is the typical male role in not knowing how to communicate but it comes of as she doesn't care but it's been eating it up inside.

    • @vikkidc3859
      @vikkidc3859 Год назад +10

      Patricia. She basically abandoned him after the tragedy. She was being avoidant and then unloaded all those emotions at once, blindsiding him. This marriage was destroyed by silence, avoidance, and passive aggression

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +22

      I think Patricia's reaction to her son's death is complicated and deserves a lot of grace. I think much of her reaction was beyond her control.

    • @jinxminxks
      @jinxminxks Год назад +2

      @@HeitCheri omg this is so hard to watch and Tyler really did the thing putting out there like this. Outside looking afar that's so hard to watch let alone Patricia went through

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +267

    Patricia is a people pleaser, a helper of everyone but herself. Concerning for others, trying to fix the situation but putting herself on the back burner.

    • @michaelwilliams9179
      @michaelwilliams9179 Год назад +17

      Was she really a ppl pleaser? Or did she care about what people thought? If she told the truth her credibility to the class would be no more. She didn’t want to lie to her class so she passed the buck to her husband. She knew wouldn’t put her like that but deep down she wanted to kno the truth as well because he never expressed how he felt about it because he felt like he had to be strong for her but after awhile when he finally wanted to express himself she had went internal. She didn’t care to please her husband because he knows she not perfect. She had to save face with everyone else

    • @therealmarlonbellamy
      @therealmarlonbellamy Год назад +1

      Facts

  • @joshuamcdowell9745
    @joshuamcdowell9745 Год назад +190

    Patricia never properly grieved her son's death. She just internalized her emotions. That was why she shut down whenever the topic of kids came up. She also was someone who tried hard to appear to have it all together on the outside while on the inside, it's a different story. Gavin and Patricia was perceived as perfect and didn't have any major problems in their marriage. They was quote-on-quote "relationship goals" to their friends. Angela, Shelia and Diane would go to Patricia for advice. I think with Patricia being a psychologist, she couldn't really reveal that she had issues too and her issues was affecting her marriage. The doctor should have been sitting on someone's couch. She didn't even trust her husband enough to lean on him and allow him to help her through the pain of losing their one and only child. Janet Jackson said that she was just like her character. She's an internalizer who bottles up her emotions and has been that way since childhood.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +18

      All this you just said!

    • @kimberly8695
      @kimberly8695 Год назад +24

      I theorize it might come from Patricia's upper-class upbringing. Generally speaking, wealthy people at funerals do not grieve so loudly. Everything is mostly subdued and "dignified." She may have behaved in that manner at Noah's funeral.

    • @itsmasego7439
      @itsmasego7439 Год назад

      Q

    • @DestinysChild-vn5hm
      @DestinysChild-vn5hm 11 месяцев назад

      Well in all honesty he has blamed her for it he never considered that she had survivors guilt

  • @shadywiskerz
    @shadywiskerz Год назад +128

    Madea fixes relationships better than the supposed relationship psychologist who studied for 8 years 😂

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +10

      😂

    • @86twin
      @86twin 10 месяцев назад +6

      Madea would have pulled the 9 out on Trina

    • @jalen3013
      @jalen3013 8 месяцев назад +5

      Madea and Angela in the same movie would be HILARIOUS 😂

  • @vikkidc3859
    @vikkidc3859 Год назад +115

    Having a child should never be a "compromise"

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +12

      Agreed!

    • @01379
      @01379 Год назад +10

      Or a mourning cure... that'd be unfortunate too

  • @officialmouse8470
    @officialmouse8470 Год назад +125

    I think that Patricia also has survivors guilt. And I feel like the movie kinda disregards the fact that she was in the car as well. Imagine waking up from a horrific car crash and to find out that you are the one that survived and your child didn’t. That also might be the reason why they have a designated driver. I feel like the movie could’ve gone a little bit into Patricia and her ptsd (because let’s face it, she has PTSD from the crash, and survivors guilt, hence why she blames herself). I wouldn’t be surprised if she had suic!dal ideations about it, thinking that her son should’ve been the who survived, not her.
    1:57:44 I feel like he was able to because he wasn’t there. Whereas Patricia was there, experienced it first hand, and blames herself, which makes it THAT much harder, in my opinion, for her to move on.
    Perfect Patty

    • @beasaroseco5840
      @beasaroseco5840 Год назад +7

      There was also guilt because of the carseat issue.

    • @officialmouse8470
      @officialmouse8470 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@beasaroseco5840exactly. Sole survivors of tragedies often tend to develop survivors guilt on top of their ptsd. The car crash would’ve caused Pat to have both PTSD and survivors guilt, the car seat was just the cherry on top, because 1) her sons survival probably wouldn’t have been guaranteed, regardless to whether or not she strapped him in. And 2) she would’ve developed survivors guilt even if she did all the precautions and strapped him in.

  • @kimberly8695
    @kimberly8695 Год назад +101

    Patricia is the perfect example of "physician, heal thyself." The idea of ✌🏾Perfect Patty✌🏾 may come from Patricia's upbringing. Though not discussed in the movie, let's examine the college years. Maybe she had flown high most of her life, academically, professionally, MORALLY. She's never had such a huge, unexpected loss, one that might be tied to her carelessness. She may view their child's loss as a moral failing.

    • @goddessnoir290
      @goddessnoir290 Год назад +7

      Great take!

    • @lifeofalady
      @lifeofalady 8 месяцев назад

      And see this is a wonderful comment here. This is lazy writing..

  • @Lola7Falana
    @Lola7Falana Год назад +136

    Im comfused on how Patricia is able to call her book a scientific study when its really a character study and honestly her friends names shouldve been protected. Or is this just a small passage in her book overall? She runs a couples retreat and very unethically observe couples.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +34

      More reasons why we have so many questions about Patricia's "study"! LOL

    • @availanila
      @availanila Год назад +11

      I just assumed the names we use were pseudonyms and a generalization of careers that's why we don't exactly know their careers.
      The chemist running a salon felt more like the chemist was making beauty products small scale so had dipped her toes in both end of the product development. Then the lawyer at one time doing divorce case and the other high publicity murder being that "she's a lawyer and the rest does not concern you." And so on and so forth. Even Gavin's career doesn't quite make sense; is he an architect or project manager in a real estate development.

    • @BabyGirlTiny
      @BabyGirlTiny Год назад +4

      That’s not how unethically works. Unless they don’t know, then it’s all consensual.

    • @Lola7Falana
      @Lola7Falana Год назад +5

      @availanila that's why I feel this movie is so disjointed because this all could very well be the case. This could just be an anecdote in the larger scale of her book, and not fully what the case study is. Point is... we are in the comments writing TP's story in the way he meant for it to make sense... because he doesnt do character development well.

    • @smilealwaysnatasha3423
      @smilealwaysnatasha3423 Год назад +16

      Because the writer is uneducated on this matter lol. Tyler Perry is a bit of a lazy writer to me at least.

  • @SamDavidJr
    @SamDavidJr Год назад +132

    You know what’s crazy? When I first saw the 2nd film…I, like everyone else in the movie, was SHOCKED that Gavin and Patricia were the ones to divorce. But watching BOTH as an adult…it’s kind of apparent that they were headed towards divorce when you read the room with them.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +9

      Most definitely.

    • @kaliharper4698
      @kaliharper4698 Год назад +14

      Years later, I realize how distant Gavin and Patricia are with each other from the beginning. They appear “perfect” but there’s no real affection or passion between them. Part of the marriage died with their son. Patricia has to be in control of everything and everyone. The interactions between both of them feels forced. In the second movie, the masks come off. You actually see what is happening behind the charade that they both project towards each other and other people. Off topic: in the second movie, did she blindside Gavin when she announced she was getting a divorce? He seemed shocked.

    • @SamDavidJr
      @SamDavidJr Год назад +11

      @@kaliharper4698 Yeah, he said she didn’t run that by him to do that. Matter of fact, now that I’m thinking about it…I don’t think Gavin wanted a divorce at all. I think it was mainly her.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +7

      @@kaliharper4698 Yeah...when she said "you pretend that you love me" in the first one that was my clue. It did not matter that they hugged it out.
      To me, when she was faced with the ugly truth that Gavin blamed her/considered her stupid in private for the son's death, she made her decision right there for divorce.
      I think Gavin truly loved her in spite of his major slip up, and he wanted to get counseling or some type of healthy clean start for them since the tragedy. Patricia did not. For her, the cut was too deep.
      She simply spiraled. Her image and lifesyle of Perfect Patty was doomed and seeing him everyday in her life was a constant reminder of that. Her mental and emotional state would never be close to normal again until they were divorced, or he died.
      Yes, I believe she purposely drove him to his death because she wanted the last reminder of her son's memory gone. She was a monster and she was only ever about herself.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад

      @@SamDavidJr I agree.

  • @cgsoldier4196
    @cgsoldier4196 Год назад +69

    39:52 A friend recently said in a discussion about cheating that “Saying the side person shouldn’t be blamed because they didn’t cheat is like saying the getaway driver shouldn’t go to jail because they didn’t rob the bank”

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +9

      I agree with your friend.

    • @quietstorm7684
      @quietstorm7684 Год назад +3

      Well said.

    • @nomimua9842
      @nomimua9842 Год назад +17

      I agree but wat if the side person didn’t know they were a side piece

    • @BabyGirlTiny
      @BabyGirlTiny Год назад +8

      Lol that doesn’t work unless the gateway driver was an Uber driver and was called to pick up the robbers

  • @ycartyahoo
    @ycartyahoo Год назад +51

    All the folks should have put their foot down and said Trina can't stay and if Mike didn't like it, he could have left too.😬

  • @joselynwatson6244
    @joselynwatson6244 Год назад +65

    I love that you brought up the cultural differences about sharing personal info!! I’m black and my mama told me what happens in this house stays in this house however my boyfriend is white and I swear he tells everyone his business 😂😭

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +19

      Listennnnnn... There are some specific cultural differences between people of all sorts. One thing I know is you don't run Black folks business down and around 😆😂😆

  • @shanti02
    @shanti02 Год назад +24

    Patricia that one mf who knows how to piss a mf offfff 😂😂😂 !! She irked my nerves so baddddd 😭😭😭 !!

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +44

    I always cry at that scene where they both released and vented. Holding,comforting, crying 😭 together through this grief.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      Yes! And the words exchanged... 😭

  • @capricornman89
    @capricornman89 Год назад +39

    PERFECT PATTY
    Patricia was indeed a mastermind. Like you both pointed out, Mike had no secrets to spill about her during his bad guy speech.

  • @ladyruler9585
    @ladyruler9585 Год назад +44

    If I were Angela, I would of put Patricia in her place for constantly shushing me. Also, I wonder if It was Diane who was the vocal one about her displeasure with Trina, would Pat hush her every chance she got? I think Pat looked slightly down on Angie for not being more demure and reserved like her and Diane.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +5

      Quite true.

    • @southsudani983
      @southsudani983 Год назад +1

      as an african , i can confirm this .. u don’t take anything out the house .. image is everything ..

    • @DestinysChild-vn5hm
      @DestinysChild-vn5hm 11 месяцев назад

      It was like that women who are strong independent and got they bag and also beautiful like Angela herself always get bashed by women submissive women like Diane and Patricia because I think it's low key jealousy Angie didn't take any mess from these men

  • @daonenothe2615
    @daonenothe2615 Год назад +61

    As a woman, Trina couldn’t have thought that she would be welcomed with open arms.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +6

      😆

    • @crml1978
      @crml1978 Год назад +1

      A narcissistic person would . Which I think she is

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +40

    Country clubs have more drama and trifliness than what they try to cover up with pearly white smiles, Gucci and Prada, and gold decor, Italian marble. Husband and wives sleeping around one another but chilling at social functions like everything’s cool. That stepford thing.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +9

      This is why we explicitly stated that we weren't saying that one social class is better than another. Wherever there are people, drama will follow. The difference with the classes is what the drama looks like when it surfaces. That's been the whole point of discussing class. 😊

  • @jama3997
    @jama3997 Год назад +39

    I feel like Patricia’s actions in this and the sequel were a result of her knowing Gavin blamed her for their son’s death, and SPECIFICALLY in the sequel. He was weaponizing that trauma like hell.
    Patricia wants to maintain the illusion of control bc she’s lost control. She literally DID lose control during the accident and now she wants to influence others lives instead of her own bc she doesn’t want to deal with her own harsh reality. It’s really sad.
    It’s like her life is that instance where someone goes to therapy for something terribly traumatic and life altering. This will be legit one session where they will get information from their therapist but only utilize what can benefit their own wanted result, and then throws every chance of growth out the window.
    They then go to other people to try to tell them what to do with THEIR lives bc they want to use that as their therapy and as a way of saying “See! I am fixed! I am okay! I have learned and I have grown, and I am whole again bc I have the ability to fix others!” to distract themselves from the fact that they are still very damaged inside.
    Patricia’s “therapist” in this instance being her title as an actual Psychologist so surely she MUST be equipped to deal with trauma quickly, calmly, and rationally🙄
    You also mention her basically “working” by using her friends lives, but her not taking notes or jotting. I think that because every fibre of her being is being dedicated to distracting herself, she’s become very attentive to everyone and everything around her so she doesn’t have to pay attention to her own life. She doesn’t need notes. She compartmentalizes every single thing that doesn’t pertain to HER and what has happened to her family.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +4

      Agreed. Very succinct.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +5

      I agree with a lot of what you said here and I love the way you broke it down! ❤️❤️❤️

    • @aamia3769
      @aamia3769 Год назад

      Very insightful!

  • @marvinwhittaker
    @marvinwhittaker Год назад +21

    Gavin and Patricia put on strong faces outside, but inside they suffered more than the other couples due to the fact that they lost their son in a car accident. Patricia tried to forget it and put it all aside, but Gavin couldn't let it go that easy. Patricia finally admitted they she's not perfect because she didn't check and see if the seat wasn't locked up tight. It's good that they let all of the emotions out because keeping it bottled up inside will put a strain on you mentally.

  • @antoniusjohnson3824
    @antoniusjohnson3824 Год назад +11

    Things go straight to hell for this couple in the sequel, that definitely needs a full analysis.

  • @ultimategleelover1
    @ultimategleelover1 Год назад +41

    Trina is friends with Sheila, so she does owe at least Sheila something. I generally agree that the side chick can't be responsible for breaking up any homes, except when they have a personal relationship with the person being cheated on.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +4

      What about the idea of community that we mentioned? Just wondering how you felt about that aspect of "owing" the group.

    • @MsBlackDiamond88
      @MsBlackDiamond88 Год назад +2

      @@HeitCheriI like this perspective! However, I do think even in community there are people whose purpose is to drive conflict. Similarly to the concept of Yin and Yang. And even in individuals we are not the sum of our bad or good act’s especially when you think about growth and evolution over time. We don’t know who the “Trina’s” may become. But even in a Maat rule of engagement community there will be outliers to community guidelines. I think to owe the group depends on the society’s moral compass overall based on the infraction. Which is why for many, the side woman argument is grey for many. And it isn’t specific to Americans unlike romance/marriage for example 😂 which makes this interesting. There are side women across all cultures and race groups etc. Even more so I imagine in communities where divorce is frowned upon.

  • @thomascoleman7639
    @thomascoleman7639 Год назад +24

    So let's see.. Tyler Perry makes himself the good guy, Mike the bad guy, Marcus the dumb guy, Gavin the perfect guy, Troy the hero and Patricia the perfect role model.. hmmm

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +7

      Let's talk about it...

  • @PhantomBones101
    @PhantomBones101 Год назад +66

    If this is a scientific study and she is looking for interesting results there's a possibility she deliberately urged the others not to tell Shiela to introduce a new factor into the study to obtain new results.
    Edit: okay I just came to the part where you guys came to the same conclusions.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +19

      And you know that is just a whole mess when you follow this rabbit hole!

    • @PhantomBones101
      @PhantomBones101 Год назад +8

      @@HeitCheri very much so. That being said if we're to look at the ethics of the study and her actions as a doctor her studies are tainted by default. I'm not a doctor, but given my own research generally speaking the doctor or scientist conducting the experiment or study wouldn't become involved in the study in this manner. The reason being a bias is introduced. Not only that because these couples know each other but also because she knows them on a personal level. Meaning she can directly and indirectly influence results because she already knows how the participants will react to specific situations.
      There's a high chance there are too many controlled variables to produce organic results. She got lucky in this scenario because of Trina (an independent and unforseen variable) showing up with Mike, but without her there there's a chance her "training" would've never really been properly tested. Though she was given new results, it was almost at the detriment of every marriage in the group.
      Having listened in to your retrospectives I now realize making Patricia a doctor and imply that these vacations were a study puts everything that happens with these couples into question in the story. She could've convinced Terry not to trust Diane leading to the blood test. Or make Angel think she should be disappointed in Markus for not putting his foot down. None of this could be the case (and probably isn't), but it definitely blurs the line between what happened on its own and what happened because of Patricia's influence.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +9

      I agree with everything you said. It really calls into question what things were influenced by Patricia in the study and in general!

    • @SamDavidJr
      @SamDavidJr Год назад +5

      Ooo, I hope not! It was already bad enough that she didn’t wanna tell her.

    • @Lola7Falana
      @Lola7Falana Год назад +4

      Oh my goodness, Tyler Perry is a menace if that's purposely why he wrote her scenario the way he did. I took it as bad writing but it could easily be more maniacal.

  • @TanieBaker
    @TanieBaker Год назад +36

    I also agree that Patricia’s delivery talking to everyone was very annoying. Almost reminded me of a hovering parent or even a Kindergarten teacher.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +7

      Ugh, I have a relative like this. I avoid her like the plague.

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +23

    Patricia needed to let it out, to vent instead of holding all that in, like a volcano explode and let it go, release it. How SHE felt about herself and her accountability in it in her head that was destroying her.

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +47

    Angela is mix well classy in a social scenario, until her Camden background step in and it’s time to kick ass.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +4

      When is comes to social class as we defined in the video, there is no mix in the way you're describing though. Maybe you haven't gotten to that part yet because I see you're commenting as you watch. ❤️😊❤️

  • @KeyPre87
    @KeyPre87 Год назад +19

    No I’m telling my HOMEGIRL what’s going on with her husband,and then while she handles her husband I’d be handling trina because she played in my HOMEGIRL face!!!!smh nooooo Tyler needs new writers!!

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      😆

    • @lisetteb8727
      @lisetteb8727 Год назад +8

      Tyler Perry seems like a control freak in real life. He wants write everything but sometimes it’s better to outsource. That way you get a different perspective. I wish he would just hire other writers instead I’d trying to do it all. His work would be way better.

  • @veesmith9737
    @veesmith9737 Год назад +32

    As a scientist and researcher this study conversation is hilarious

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +6

      Please weigh in. 😆😂😆

    • @veesmith9737
      @veesmith9737 Год назад +15

      Yes I'm in a different field now but you all correct. Everything she is doing would manipulate the study and sometimes it is on purpose. It's also shocking she reveals their identities.

    • @sage-luxe1198
      @sage-luxe1198 11 месяцев назад

      As a psychologist trainee and researcher, I agree. There’s a way to do this research but his is not it. Also, depending on the methodology she used (it’s not clear) the small sample size is one on the least things wrong with it. The biggest issues would be ethics, involving her self/spouse, and possibly anonymity (depends if the couples consents with being publicly identified). Ideally she would use random couples she doesn’t know. As mentioned, case studies are an option but it doesn’t sound like she’s following the framework procedures for it.

  • @zacharycoltrane
    @zacharycoltrane Год назад +9

    It's crazy how Sheila never asked her "friends" how long they've known Mike was cheating on her and why the hell they kept it from her. You'd think that would be her second question.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      I knowwww!!!!!

    • @zacharycoltrane
      @zacharycoltrane Год назад

      @@HeitCheri Yeah it's insane, and I know this video isn't about them, but that's something I never realized while watching that one lol

    • @86twin
      @86twin 10 месяцев назад +2

      Angela was trying to tell it from day one

  • @waterdog737
    @waterdog737 Год назад +21

    You guy should do analysis on the second movie in the series and the play too. this couple gets really interesting in the second movie and steals the show at the end

  • @JaeD904
    @JaeD904 Год назад +21

    Can y’all do a video about Angela and Mike beef? I wonder what caused them to be at odds . And why Marcus didn’t check Mike for what he says to his wife.

    • @gjjijji
      @gjjijji Год назад

      Because doesn’t feel like she’s a wife worth defending that’s why he only checks mike at the end

  • @daonenothe2615
    @daonenothe2615 Год назад +21

    I actually liked Gavin out of all the men, he seemed a lot more genuine and sincere than Terry. I think he took a backseat in the relationship tho, perfect patty probably had him stressed out and he just ended up exploding.

    • @MrTekKnowledge
      @MrTekKnowledge Год назад +2

      Gavin basically got neutered by Patricia's career, and her illusion of a perfect image. We see this more in the second movie, where this healthy and well adjusted dude loses it. I hope Cheri and Heit cover the sequel

  • @jessicanoelle2012jp
    @jessicanoelle2012jp Год назад +12

    The movie should've started at the END of the events. As in Patricia is giving the reading/lecture of the book of the events that ensued during the movie.
    Quick cuts to the classroom every now and them with the class asking questions of said events that happened.
    Then at the end of the movie they ask how she and her husband are doing and when he said late for our flight, it would've given a cliff hanger to the audience if there was going to be a sequel

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +7

      Listennnnnn... I love this perspective. It kind of reminds me of how the movie In Too Deep was configured.

    • @jessicanoelle2012jp
      @jessicanoelle2012jp Год назад +1

      @@HeitCheri thank u 💓

    • @quietstorm7684
      @quietstorm7684 Год назад +1

      Interesting.

  • @hinata1293
    @hinata1293 Год назад +4

    To me, "we talk about Noah like he was never really here" means that when their is brought up in conversation, they brush past the topic or don't really talk about him as a person. None of their friends said Noah's name, we never hear any details about what Noah was like, what they miss about him, etc. Noah is treated as a concept. We phrase it as "they lost a child" instead of "Noah died" because he doesn't feel like a real character(person to them). When Noah is brought up earlier in the movie, he's treated like a trigger that people apologize for and the parents try to move past in conversation. Noah doesn't feel like an actual child who died until Gavin says his name and shows his picture.

  • @mzreckless1818
    @mzreckless1818 Год назад +13

    I really cannot wait till you guys do why did I get married 2

  • @daonenothe2615
    @daonenothe2615 Год назад +22

    It would’ve been great if we could see some of the so say exercises Patricia had planned. The closest thing we got was the explosive dinner 😂

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +4

      😂😆😂 Yes!!! The exercises consisted of sitting around drinking and chatting 😆

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +1

      Exactly. I think Patricia, at least on this particular couples retreat, was not completely in the right head and heart space to even initiate them.

  • @yourstrulykaai
    @yourstrulykaai Год назад +3

    Something I took from the show 13 Reasons why, was after Hannah baker kills herself, the mom and dad divorce. The mother is trying to heal by getting justice for her daughter while the dad immediately gets married to another woman.
    Losing a child the way they did, I wouldn’t blame them for divorcing. And when the mother was asked why they divorced and tried working things out together, she says, “Andy doesn’t know who is if he’s not a father or husband.”
    And later on when the parents talk, she tells Andy “I didn’t know Hannah was all we had.”
    I feel like Gavin felt like the best way to move on is have another child and that’s really not it. Patty Cake should’ve done better at being more open with grieving, especially with gavin. She definitely acted like Gavin wasn’t grieving either but at the same time, he wasn’t there in the accident… I’d have such terrible, soul eating guilt if I survived a car accident and my child didn’t. I can’t imagine the guilt she feels so I can understand why she closed herself out…
    In my opinion, Gavin didn’t know who he was without his child, and all he had left was his partner and she shut him out…? I would’ve expected him to divorce her vs Pat doing it.
    Also, if Gavin’s 20 was having another child, he’d still end up with 80 because in most cases, when a woman has a baby, all of her attention is on the baby, as it should be. And then Gavin would feel like he’s missing having all his wife’s attention. So no one will ever feel fulfilled in a marriage in my opinion.
    Oh and I’m in the army so I relate when he says you don’t wanna be noticed. 😂 I thought I was doing the right thing and mentioning I have military in my family and I was in JROTC in high school 😂 I was a TARGET for those drill sergeants 😂

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад

      I watched the first season. I thought that show was amazing!

  • @kerimanasilasila174
    @kerimanasilasila174 Год назад +6

    It's funny how the girls help each other. Like Diane is everyone lawyer and patty is the therapist and Angela does their hair and Sheila makes the food.

  • @jreaves17
    @jreaves17 Год назад +5

    In this movie at least, (I won’t discuss the second one) I felt bad for both of them. Both Patricia and Gavin’s feelings were valid. Gavin was fair in blaming Patricia but I have a feeling that he felt that way because Patricia wouldn’t talk to him about what happened. Gavin needed to talk to his wife but she shut down. Patricia, on the other hand, didn’t want to talk at all to anyone from my observation due to her own guilt. There is no other explanation for this; Gavin being her husband should’ve and would’ve known this as she was a communicator. BUT I have to say that Mike airing Gavin out about blaming her is what truly caused Gavin to lose Patricia even though they tried to save their marriage at the end of this movie. And then we have Part 2…

  • @TanieBaker
    @TanieBaker Год назад +8

    Going back to your comment on what Mike’s occupation was, I was thinking maybe he’s in some kind of Real Estate. I remember him offering Sheila the rental property in the hood before getting knocked out, lol!!

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад

      Mike had rent houses in the hood! 😆

  • @therecessionista6271
    @therecessionista6271 Год назад +35

    Is it just me..but since everyone is a part of Patricia's study...shouldn't the couples retreat been free or something for them??? I'm sorry..Patricia wouldn't be studying my marriage and putting our business in a book and I have to pay to be in an environment to do it

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +15

      I knooooowwwww!!!! 😂 Is this a vacation or a retreat for your study. She made hundreds of thousands on that book (based on the second book) and she didn't even even cover the cost.

    • @therecessionista6271
      @therecessionista6271 Год назад +10

      @@HeitCheri exactly!!!! And Angie let it be known they paid 4 it because she asked if Trina was going to chip in for the room!

    • @SweetBree031
      @SweetBree031 Год назад +3

      Right and I know I'm jumping the gun here, but it also makes me think of how she didn't want to split proceeds from the book when they were divorcing in part 2.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад

      Yep!

  • @rebelleyun6349
    @rebelleyun6349 Год назад +11

    Perfect Patty….I was waiting for this. Wonderfully done! I relate to Patricia so much. I have no children, but when my dog died I could not look at his pictures. I would fall all the way apart. I work as a mental health therapist, and my dog was my only sincere companion. Trying to help other people address they’re trauma and distress, while you’re going through it is incredibly difficult. The only difference between Patricia and I is I wasn’t suppressing my emotions. I released them, corrected unhealthy thoughts around my loss, and was able to move forward in a healthy way. But releasing emotions after a loss is so scary, distressing, and difficult. I couldn’t imagine losing a child. Patricia handled it well considering the tragedy. And thankfully, she had a strong, emotionally supportive husband to challenge her when she was stuck in her grief. Again, I love these series ❤❤❤ Keep up the great work.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Yesss!

    • @DestinysChild-vn5hm
      @DestinysChild-vn5hm 11 месяцев назад +1

      I feel like in the black community were taught to suppress our emotions from the time were kids and that's why pat supressed her emotions

    • @rebelleyun6349
      @rebelleyun6349 11 месяцев назад

      @@DestinysChild-vn5hm some of us are taught that. And it is so unhealthy. That’s why people have nervous breakdowns, can’t focus at work, can’t maintain healthy relationships, abuse substances, agitated/reactive, etc. I learned over time, crying does not make me weak, but strong. Because I feel so much better afterwards. But holding it in, truly makes me weak. I can’t respond intelligently and rationally when burdened with so much stress. But I don’t know. I just hope my people learn to release in a healthy way, stay prayerful and hopeful, and all will fall into place.

  • @V4Vonnie
    @V4Vonnie Год назад +10

    It took me a while to warm up, but i must say i dewply enjoy these deep analysis into these classic movies. Not just repeatinf quotables and surface level observations but really making it like a community exercise. Bravo. I dont usually comemnt because i always seem to be doing something when i usually watch too. Idk maybe it helps qwell or stoke my ADHD hehe

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Thanks so much for your honesty. We loving having these discussions and do our best to bring our unique perspectives to the table. ❤️

  • @reneew9125
    @reneew9125 Год назад +14

    I think it’s wonderful how much you guys add to this simple Tyler perry written movie 😅

  • @MajesticMystyle
    @MajesticMystyle Год назад +9

    I think the ladies when it’s coming to Angela is saying “there’s a time and a place” the message would be received differently if it were one on one, but Angela always tried to tell Sheila in front of a group of people when they were out and about. It was never a time where she had time to process it Without being in public. Angela should’ve told Sheila 1 on 1 and then let Sheila do the foot work to get clarification on said information.

  • @KeyPre87
    @KeyPre87 Год назад +7

    I was waiting for y’all at the DOE!!!💁🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      We up in here for AXIOM AMNESIA WEEKEND!!! 😂😂😂

    • @KeyPre87
      @KeyPre87 Год назад

      @@HeitCheri AND IM HERE FOR IT!!!!!💁🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

  • @breeyanna99
    @breeyanna99 Год назад +23

    I love when Gavin says “I’ll be strong for you” and when you said “he wants to protect her” you guys and Gavin are not talking about protecting her from a burglar or hard labor. You guys are talking about protecting her from herself because she blames herself and that is a form of self-harm so Gavin wants to protect her. I think that’s how a lot of men think that’s all they have to do is protect women from physical danger but the danger women face is more than just physical and I appreciate that you and Gavin mentioned that

  • @user-fl1hd1zr1d
    @user-fl1hd1zr1d Год назад +9

    Look I recently discovered this channel maybe two weeks or so ago. I’ve been slowing going through watching the videos and getting a good laugh sometimes. This is a pretty cool channel. I don’t always agree with the review on charters but that’s what the comment section is for 😂😂😂😂😂😂. Keep up the good work!

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Welcome aboard and thanks so much for your comments! I love that we don't have to agree and we can have great discussions in the comments! ❤️ Also, we have a lot more videos on our other channel that break down movies as well. Please feel free to check it out here: www.youtube.com/@axiomamnesia

  • @chessieray1465
    @chessieray1465 Год назад +10

    I don't completely believe that the previous trips went seamlessly as implied, but a hell of a lot better than this recent one. Though I assume that the loss of Noah might have happened soon after the last one being that Terry and Diane hold back when conversing with Gavin and Patricia.

  • @Chrysyyyy
    @Chrysyyyy Год назад +4

    I’m at work right now & when y’all were doing the second movie, I smiled so hard. 😭😭😭😭

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Awww... It's coming!!! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @DiaryofDeans
    @DiaryofDeans Год назад +6

    I subscribed because even though I've seen this movie like 10 times, I've never heard anyone dissect it like you guys. Been watching the whole series of these videos everyday at work now

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Thanks so much for giving us a chance! ❤️

  • @MsDacie
    @MsDacie Год назад +6

    I’m happy y’all have decided to do part 2!

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +3

    Yes, sheriff Troy was the black knight in shining armor. And, Gavin. 😭

  • @aminazulainaz7275
    @aminazulainaz7275 Год назад +9

    Who brings their side chick to a "marriage retreat"? That's a different kind of goofy. 🤣

  • @GigiCollins-uw7vo
    @GigiCollins-uw7vo Год назад +6

    Remember at the dinner table when Mike was exposing everyone? when he got to Gavin & Pat he says “since y’all wanna walk around here like the perfect couple” 👈🏾 that comment alone said a lot. I’m thinking that maybe all of the couples looked up to Gavin & Pat because they seemed to be doing so well but in reality they had it worse than all of them. Not only did Mike & Sheila get divorced but Gavin and Pat did too (second movie).
    So when she says “I walk around here like perfect Pattie” maybe she knows how people view her and she likes to carry on that image.

  • @kerimanasilasila174
    @kerimanasilasila174 Год назад +6

    Trina was being disrespectful. When she said okay I'll go. Like gurlll you stay your side ass home. Even if Mike did force her she should have said no.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Yeah Trina was very disrespectful!

  • @OGdaVIRGO
    @OGdaVIRGO 5 месяцев назад +1

    Perfect Patty
    I don’t really have a detail comment right now. I’m just listening to both playlist while I’m at work overnight and I always want to comment to support.
    I’m sure that I probably have multiple comments earlier in this comment section already. I’m just re-watching because I love you guys.

  • @TiaSloane
    @TiaSloane Год назад +11

    PERFECT PATTY
    I really believe in couple's therapy 😂Patricia definitely could've benefited for that and personal therapy. She just never addressed her grief properly. She shut Gavin out because of this and also took away his being able to address his grief/issues of the loss of their son. I can't wait for part 2! Can you guys do "Acrimony", "Disappearing Acts", or "Love and Basketball" in the near future? I would really love to go back and forth in your comment section on these analysis 😂 Thanks, I enjoy these breakdowns!

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +3

      Thanks so much for watching! We've got all of those on the roster! ❤️

  • @rikimaru700
    @rikimaru700 Год назад +7

    The one I've been waiting for. Wonderful job as always!

  • @daonenothe2615
    @daonenothe2615 Год назад +6

    I wanted to save this to watch while I’m at work Monday but here I am 😭😭😭😭 thanks for the video guys!

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Okay, I'll make you a deal. Watch this video and then there are TONS of videos on our other channel Axiom Amnesia that you can watch while you're at work. I think a lot of people don't know this is the smaller of the two channels and it is newer. youtube.com/@AxiomAmnesia. ❤️😊❤️

  • @ElisNUnderland
    @ElisNUnderland Год назад +6

    After the what does Mike do for a living question, I looked online. It says he's an entrepreneur. Of what, nobody knows 😅

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад

      Lol!!! In the business of himself.

    • @prideflagg2311
      @prideflagg2311 Год назад

      Maybe he had a job at the same company that Tommy worked for 😂

  • @shettikkawoods3248
    @shettikkawoods3248 Год назад +6

    Yes, can’t wait for commentary from Why did I get married, Too? And I hope y’all do, Tyler Perry’s, the family that Preys. Or, I can do Bad All by Myself.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      Part 2 up next and we got the others on the radar! 😆

  • @kerimanasilasila174
    @kerimanasilasila174 Год назад +3

    Don't forget Mike said Sheila told him about Diane's secret. He said it Sheila told me that. Couples have pilow talk about share secrets about their friends and talk about it.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +3

      Yeah couples do, but dang. Mike ain't have to do that.

    • @DestinysChild-vn5hm
      @DestinysChild-vn5hm 11 месяцев назад +1

      Shelia was wrong for that what is said in the sister circle stays in the sister circle and she knew how messy Mike was diane should have read Shelia for filth

  • @kaylamarie9447
    @kaylamarie9447 Год назад +4

    It’s funny how in the play version terry actually cheats but when Tyler plays the character in the movie, Terry doesn’t cheat🤣

  • @nataliesasha8216
    @nataliesasha8216 Год назад +7

    I never got that in this movie she was studying her friends again. I thought her book was just introducing the characters and their problems relative to what she studied in the past. Also revealing they still have issues and secrets.

  • @e.dominiasmith2665
    @e.dominiasmith2665 Год назад +1

    Hmmm, in the opening Patricia could've been giving one of those random seminars/ lectures that they have on campus, like not necessarily a class but, hey Dr. Pat giving an in depth look at her book titled, blah blah. like one of those things where your teachers are like hey, if you go to the expo, bring me back proof for extra credit.

  • @divatemple2245
    @divatemple2245 Год назад +9

    I loved this. I cannot wait for the discussion of the second movie. That one was WILD! LOL

  • @thickumz211
    @thickumz211 Год назад +4

    Patricia just wanted everyone to play nice. She knew how things could change in just a moment notice. She kind of felt like what they were going through didn’t mean a hill of beans compared to what they were enduring. Which then led to a superiority complex.
    Like I’ve been through a lot and that made me more “stronger”, and in “order” (figuratively) so now I’m the standard and moral compass. She meant well but she was trying to sell the illusion that if you listen to me and these steps you can “control” the outcome of your life even though she knew it was a lie. The shit get deep when you think about it! I hate Tyler didn’t really go into them as actual parents that would’ve gave more depth imo. Luv this!❤️

  • @Imjustarichgirl
    @Imjustarichgirl Год назад +4

    Trina and Sheila were friends. She did owe her something. Loyalty.

  • @jeremyreed4951
    @jeremyreed4951 Год назад +3

    "We don't keep cash in the store" was in BOOMERANG with Eddie Murphey. When Marcus, Tyler, and Gerard are suit shopping in New Orleans.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад

      Thank you for confirming this!

    • @jeremyreed4951
      @jeremyreed4951 Год назад

      @@HeitCheri I thought it was maybe homage to that scene as BOOMERANG was a huge staple especially the soundtrack in our community. It was still out of place though. You're right. Lol

  • @petepaylor5657
    @petepaylor5657 Год назад +4

    Here we go again!!!👍🏾 been waiting on this one...

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Yessss!!! Hope you enjoy!!! 😁😁😁

  • @Luenysgo
    @Luenysgo Год назад +8

    Cheri constantly calling Terri a nag is hilarious cause you can tell how annoyed she was with his ass

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +3

      😂 I couldn't help it!

  • @dajanedior
    @dajanedior Год назад +9

    Perfect patty: thank you guys so much for this full series on this movie this content was really great and opened my eyes up to stuff I didn't recognize at first when just watching this movie I loved every single video you guys are the best ❤❤❤

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Thanks so much!!! We're doing Part 2 next and I hope you'll enjoy it just as much! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @Meadowsandmangoes
    @Meadowsandmangoes Год назад +7

    Damn yall watch the movie again for each couple lol thank you for the dedication. I enjoy your videos

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      Yep, we watch it each time around. 😁😁😁

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад

      Much appreciated. You two are dope and out of the box, and I love it.

  • @samsonjones9332
    @samsonjones9332 Год назад +6

    I don’t like how the men are written to be wooden to the fact that this MAN left his WIFE to DRIVE in the ICE COKD WEATHER. Like wtf why are the men not outraged or feel like the women as well??? That’s so weird.

    • @kimberly8695
      @kimberly8695 Год назад +3

      I was thinking the exact same thing. The men didn't check Mike on anything, just mentioned in passing ✌🏾yOU kNow YoU wRoNg✌🏾 in reference to cheating on Sheila. Well, duuuhhh. They didn't say anything when he insulted her weight. And the worst part is even when he was telling everyone's business at the dinner table, none of them judo-chopped him in the throat.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад

      Some people, male or female, like to watch train wrecks, unfortunately. In this instance, it was the males.
      But the females did their "sit and watch" throughout the movie too due to Perfect Patty's controlling ways.

  • @oshun222
    @oshun222 Год назад +5

    I have a bachelor's degree in psychology/ sociology that I'm not currently using. Lol but the term you alll were looking for is illusionary superiority. It's when a person has a cognitice bias. Basically the person attributes qualities to themseleves that aren't truly there. I think this also applies when she states Terry and Diane are great comminicators. She's biased and has a jaded view.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Thank you!!! I knew one of the audience members would know! This is why we asked you! ❤️

  • @ycartyahoo
    @ycartyahoo Год назад +3

    With this deep dive into this movie, the more I see how it was not realistic... it's a good TP movie, I suppose, but there's alot left to be desired. I hadn't seen the movie in a while and I do remember Trina being the 3rd wheel in the cabin but I forgot she went shopping with 'the friends' too. I guess I should have remembered cause she suggested the négligé but I forgot.🤷‍♀️ So "the friends" AND TRINA are moving thru the city like they are friends and the 3 know info that directly impacts the one. WHO DOES THIS!! My spirit refuses to accept this. 😬 TP pls let other peeps in the writers' room - we deserve better.

  • @deasyastarr
    @deasyastarr Год назад +1

    I absolutely can’t wait till y’all cover their relationship in the second movie! I’m so here for it!!

  • @kekisbeautifullife
    @kekisbeautifullife Год назад +7

    The conversation on Patricia’s study brings to light a problem I have with Tyler Perry’s writing at times .. he doesn’t research story lines … he clearly has no knowledge of scientific research and another thing in this movie series most people miss.. Diane has no law specialty .. she was defending a capital murder case then did Patricia’s divorce in the second film .. I don’t know a lot about law but I know lawyers usually have specific types of practice

  • @YouTubeChannel-ru8ed
    @YouTubeChannel-ru8ed Год назад +5

    1:54:37 another point could be made that Patrica feels like since she has the knowledge and expertise that she dont need ti seek help even tho she needs it. Like she may feel that since its her job to help people then she either shouldn’t need help or she feels she can help herself by herself
    Part of it comes with self awareness of theres and issue with me but how she deals with it matters. But in this movie she is very avoidant so sue may just feel like she is in pain but she dont need ti seek help when she is the help and is qualified to help herself, that she needs to be perfect all the time to not give off an image of “oh she cant be that good, she cant even solve her own issues” like that ignorance that people could give her if they knew. Sometimes therapist need therapists
    Also this brings her study into question because if I’m correct(which i could be wrong) that means shes not actually testing her and her husband with everyone, shes an overseer not a test subject, hell she could he testing her husband and not herself like almost asking him “why did you get married to me” type of thing

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Everything you said about the study and her not being a subject. She probably was "studying" Gavin and not herself. 😆😂😆

    • @chessieray1465
      @chessieray1465 Год назад

      She does emphasize throughout the film that "I'm a doctor" and "Y'all know this."

  • @hollywont9447
    @hollywont9447 Год назад +7

    When I see these two, I think about that second movie…😂
    I’ll leave it at that.

  • @breeyanna99
    @breeyanna99 Год назад +3

    I’ve been waiting for this one!!

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      The wait is over!!! 😁😁😁

  • @serenitygreene5661
    @serenitygreene5661 Год назад +5

    40:17; I agree as well bc it was disrespectful when she first started entertaining Mike. Yea Mike carries most of the blame, but she knew he was married before, during, and after the affair. She’s most likely been in their house, hung with Shelia by herself. Most likely had conversations with Shelia ab Mike considering how bad their marriage was at this point. You can just imagine how it is as before he started sleeping with Trina and was always in face. So she does owe Shelia the most, but the other adults as well bc it’s just basically their not being adults ab it around adults who don’t agree with it who is also Shelia and Mike’s friend

  • @purpleluva77
    @purpleluva77 Год назад +3

    I think Tyler Perry really wrote the character of Patricia well. As someone who has an analytical mind I can tell you that the way she processed her grief is very typical of how I dealt with mine for awhile about my father. When my father passed I replayed his death on a loop trying to understand why his body became so rigid when i knew medically that shouldnt of happened as fast as it did. So in those brief moments when my mind was resting i needed to let it rest.

    • @purpleluva77
      @purpleluva77 Год назад +2

      What her husband was dealing with on the outside she was dealing with on the inside asking herself over and over why she didnt check it. So when he ask her to ackowledge its more than her mind can handle cause it hasnt allowed her a moment of peace while she is trying to understand the gravity of the loss she is experiencing. Her reaction as a psychiatrist is in step with what alot of psychiatrist report of how they have handled situations like this.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm so sorry to hear about your father. ❤️

    • @purpleluva77
      @purpleluva77 Год назад

      @@HeitCheri thanks so much for your kindness.

  • @chanelmiller4635
    @chanelmiller4635 Год назад +4

    1:16:52 😂I watched it w
    My ex husband when we were arguing, I think he was thinking it would help us see… something, I was out by the next month. He wasn’t a good guy, like at all.. I tried to stick it out and “fight for my marriage” “don’t take a bad day and think that’ll be your whole marriage” but nah didn’t work lol. So I think the title of the movie is perfect lol bc that’s how I felt after watching? Why tf 😂

  • @Lapearla4
    @Lapearla4 Год назад +5

    All I know is y'all better do part 2. Cause thats the good one

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +5

      😂😆😂 it's up next!

  • @TheRetroWoman80
    @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад +3

    Perfect Patty.
    Another great exploring and layer peeling of this movie, Heit and Cheri👌
    While I still see Patricia as my least favorite character in this movie, my empathy did increase for her. I had a cousin that lost a child two years ago and it messed her up something terrible....but she actively sought out support groups, clung to her boyfriend and did not internalize in any way. She was devastated but also knew she had to immediately begin the process of healthy healing to remain sane and keep up with her everyday living/responsibilities.
    Many people do not do this. And it affects not only their lives but the lives of those who love and care about them. Patricia chose this option and never regained whatever solid footing in life she may have once had, especially in her relationship with Gavin.
    Also, while watching your critique video, I concluded (inspired by Heit's remarks) that perhaps the myriad of inner troubles Patricia experienced was projected entirely onto the film within all of the relationships. That perhaps maybe 1) she saw her future self facing those squabbles her friends were due to the death of her son and her blaming herself and, as a result, 2) maybe she wrote the book and did the retreats because she was the only one really asking the serious question of Why Did I Get Married??
    Just curious.

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +2

      Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments! First, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin--that's such a tragedy to come through.
      I like exploring the idea you brought up in your point about Pat possibly being the only one asking the question and perhaps that was the inspiration for the retreats... One thing I always wondered was exactly when her son passed away. Was it between the most recent retreat and this one? Was it before this? That would help to inform the answer to whether it was all Pat's investigation or not.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 Год назад

      @@HeitCheri Thank you so much. Yes, so much to question and imagine about that situation. Tyler left hole after hole for this channel😆

  • @blackscreenrelaxation5824
    @blackscreenrelaxation5824 Год назад +2

    Hey guys. This is an aside, but I want to address Marcus’s other child- Tyler did a show about them and according to that, Marcus didn’t actually cheat on Angela. The story goes:
    -They were all in college at the time.
    - Marcus was with Keisha first, then they broke up.
    - He meets Angela, and their relationship moves very quickly. They decide to get married.
    -Keisha then comes to Marcus saying she’s 6 months pregnant. Marcus makes it clear that there was no overlap.
    -Angela finds out that she is also pregnant. This is why the kids are so close in age.
    (There’s actually a lot more to this aspect of the relationship but I’ll just stick to the parts that’s relevant to the movie)

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      I wish he had explored this in the film... Thanks so much for explaining!

  • @Mindless4MB101
    @Mindless4MB101 Год назад +2

    Oohhh Boy! I've been waiting on this. Let's go.

  • @TheOriginalGaPeach
    @TheOriginalGaPeach Год назад +4

    Perfect Patty!!! Excellent video ! I’m looking forward to hearing your discussion for “Why Did I Get Married Too?”
    I have more feedback to give on the second movie. I do feel that Pat ignored talking about the baby because she did blame herself for the death of their child! She hasn’t dealt with it herself so how could she discuss it with her husband! I also feel that he shouldn’t have been nagging her about another child when she can’t even talk about the death of their first child. I think she does want another child eventually but she wasn’t ready yet. He should focus only on the both of them opening up and getting therapy for their family!
    I also agree that people do get mad when you tell them that their husband or wife is cheating. They start to blame you or accuse you of being jealous and nosey! Or you don’t want me happy because you’re not happy! I do feel that the 3 of them should have all gotten together and discussed when and how they are going to tell her while at the couple’s retreat. Why not bring Trina into the conversation and put her on the spot to tell Shelia or tell Mike that we know what’s going on and if he doesn’t tell her now at the retreat they will!
    Do you think that if the Police informed Mike that Shelia was killed in a snowstorm accident on her way to the cabin, would he be happy, distraught or relieved that she’s dead and he can move on with his life???

  • @MichelleTurnz
    @MichelleTurnz Год назад +2

    Mike was low for this one. I was OK with everyone else but my friendship with him would have been over with him.

  • @orangemaster345
    @orangemaster345 Год назад +7

    I think the thing that made me scratch my head about the first and second movie was the drastic change in Gavin’s character. I was like he was pretty calm in the first movie and in the second it was like they turned him into a villain

    • @antoniusjohnson3824
      @antoniusjohnson3824 Год назад +2

      His dark side came out when he got drunk and physically attacked Patricia.

    • @taylorreed1580
      @taylorreed1580 Год назад +2

      I have a feeling the sequel would’ve been different, if Michael Jackson hadn’t died. I feel like Tyler did a total rewrite of the movie. When Michael died, Tyler wrote Patricia going crazy, so Janet could channel her grief and let it out

    • @antoniusjohnson3824
      @antoniusjohnson3824 Год назад +3

      @@taylorreed1580 The scene where Janet & the other women were on the stairs crying, was definitely her crying for her brother.

  • @octalogicsmith9028
    @octalogicsmith9028 Год назад +6

    An hour into this and y’all still haven’t mentioned that Patricia may be still feeling like she is to blame and holding onto that regret and that I blame myself for what happened to my child. And then to have her has been confirm that he blames her to that’s devastating. She hasn’t forgiven herself. And I think may be him Crying it out on his friends shoulder helped him heal a little quicker and Patricia is healing. Just my thoughts

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      It's all there. We react to the film as it comes and we don't, for the most part, get ahead of where it we are in the film. It's a slow burn approach we take that seems to work for us and most of the viewers.❤️

  • @marquishaile8
    @marquishaile8 Год назад +3

    According to the second movie, mike is a police officer. Him and troy was working at the same precinct. This movie gave us somewhat of a clue thats he's a policeman, which he was talking about a man has the legal right to get some of his wife not giving him any. (That could also come off as a joke.)

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +4

      I don't think he was a police officer, bu8t I have to watch again. I thought he just played golf or whatever with the police chief or some police official that was able to pull strings to get Troy the job. I'll know soon because we are covering Part 2 next ! 😁

  • @Honeyyhazellemon
    @Honeyyhazellemon Год назад +4

    My favorite moviee(s)
    And omg I’ve NEVER internalized that this is a study
    ..I’m one of those psychology scholars
    It makes this so much better
    And or ..I’m gonna over analyze everything instead of watching it
    Lol still ..Great review !!
    I’m literally trying to become a Marriage and family therapist.
    Issa sign !

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад

      We'd love to hear your thoughts! ❤️

    • @Honeyyhazellemon
      @Honeyyhazellemon Год назад

      @@HeitCheri ah man !
      N I usually have so much commentary because I write while watching
      Next time , especially because y’all are doing Why did I…2
      My general depiction of the film is that Patricia may have just turned a casual/annual couples trip into a (loose) psychological experiment because of her career path. Research cost a lot of money and or one can ask for a grant , but to just use your close friends as a sample is free. However, random sampling is important for objectives and because of the closeness of the friendship she’s at risk for experimenter bias; the crew can also show participant bias.. like you said; assuming that this is a single blind study (participants are unaware about the hypothesis of said study) they could be adjusting there normal behavior to fit what she expects solely because they know she’s the psychologist and I guess her role has always been the mediator possibly way before she became an expert.
      .. i have more thoughts but my fingers hurt
      RUclips should enable an option to comment by doing a video.
      Anyway, I definitely wanted to comment on the “how could you be so stupid” phrase that gaven told Patty & the concept psychologist needing psychologists for self.
      In short, despite your expertise/logistics
      Ppl are still human. Unfortunately, many are not emotionally intelligent enough for introspection and expressing their emotions.
      Gaven DEFINITELY was pushing her too hard , then he turned to drinking heavily n then boom
      The 2nd movies
      Fun/tragic fact.
      That iconic seen where the girls were consoling Janet on the stairs , those emotions were super real because she was still grieving the king himself MJ
      These movies and Temptation are his BEST films.
      I hope u review that one too

  • @est95ny
    @est95ny Год назад +2

    Ugh such a great discussion 🙌🏽

    • @HeitCheri
      @HeitCheri  Год назад +1

      Thank you ! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @blackscreenrelaxation5824
    @blackscreenrelaxation5824 Год назад +1

    I agree with y’all that this whole ‘study’ was illegitimate. Credible studies require transparency from the participants. They knew that she was telling their business in the book, so they weren’t transparent with her AT ALL, which is why her assessments were so inaccurate. For example, Diane tying her tubes was super relevant to the kids conversation that they had, so the fact that it wasn’t mentioned, means (to me) that Pat didn’t know. If the dinner table scene is anything to go by Mike and Sheila are the real confidants of the group.
    If I’m wrong and she did know about all the secrets, then she is still compromised, as she clearly picks and chooses what details she puts in her books, in order to protect certain characters.

  • @dajanedior
    @dajanedior Год назад +4

    Thank you so much guys 🙏🏾😊

  • @southsudani983
    @southsudani983 Год назад +1

    her son and husband both died in a car crash … she cannot be ok if there’s a 3rd movie