Eat Sh*t Nerd...

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  • Опубликовано: 27 июн 2023
  • Check out ALL my content below!
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    Nikko Ortiz
    P.O. Box 34705
    Las Vegas, NV 89133

Комментарии • 743

  • @user-ol3ul2yc5l
    @user-ol3ul2yc5l Год назад +277

    Can all agree when we see Nico's little icon on our device our day gets a whole lot better

  • @SizeMatters_
    @SizeMatters_ Год назад +97

    As a person that works around the sewer $100,000 would maybe cover the medical😂

    • @bycoxtax8562
      @bycoxtax8562 Год назад +9

      As someone with free healthcare i would do it in a heartbeat

    • @roadhog820
      @roadhog820 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@bycoxtax8562lmao

    • @Benwut
      @Benwut 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@bycoxtax8562 As someone who has free education and free healthcare, I would do a degree in medicine and do it in a heartbeat, then treat myself immediately

    • @mcomeslast
      @mcomeslast 6 месяцев назад

      If ICU isn’t involved.

    • @kugelblitzkrieg
      @kugelblitzkrieg 4 месяца назад

      My two stipulations would be I don’t need to swallow (I’ll vomit right away so there’d be no point) and that it’s not going to get me sick. 100k ain’t worth it if I’m risking death and almost definitely getting disqualified immediately.

  • @Out-to-Pastor
    @Out-to-Pastor Год назад +66

    The only lawn mower accident I have ever seen was when I was a child. My babysitter was mowing her very overgrown lawn and because the main road was right next to her house people used to throw trash onto her yard all the time. This particular time she ran over someone's snapple bottle sending it flying at her leg. She had to get 20 stitches from the glass breaking and hitting her leg and there was blood everywhere.

  • @m2hmghb
    @m2hmghb Год назад +42

    I used to try to scare my dad. He warned me not to do it. I stopped when the fist stopped an inch from my nose when I did actually scare him. Turns out doing it to a cop/jail guard/air force sgt who went through a sapper attack wasn't a smart thing. Hindsight......

  • @tdlaustralia7791
    @tdlaustralia7791 Год назад +22

    We have legit issues with magpies (birds) in Australia. During nesting they will actually take out eyes or bust your head open, they team up and are vicious.

    • @AnoNymous-gn6tl
      @AnoNymous-gn6tl 9 месяцев назад +1

      Color me impressed that Australians aren't armed 24/7. I don't have Paul Hogan's skills, I'd need a firearm just to get my mail.

    • @lokibrux
      @lokibrux 3 месяца назад +2

      Is that why you guys are so good at cricket?

    • @FordyTheConeSmoker
      @FordyTheConeSmoker 3 дня назад

      They remember faces and will target specific people ahaha
      Pro tip: Feed your local magpies and they will leave you alone as well as bring their kids to meet you. You’ll be the only person who can walk around without issue 😊

  • @js12334
    @js12334 Год назад +2

    When this vids title appeared in my phone notifications I thought it was a personal attack from someone. Was like "who's starting on me now....oh its youtube" 😂

  • @OutlawCaliber13
    @OutlawCaliber13 Год назад +7

    I have a Euro Mountain Shepharnese. She's 8 months, over 90lbs. She dropped her deuce yesterday, I bent down to pick it up, and about that time she was like SQUIRREL!!!!! I couldn't do anything other than laugh, and hold onto the leash. I'm about 180lbs. That dog dragged my ass about 3-4 feet before I stopped. lmao I just laid there laughing while she was trying to figure out if I was okay. On the plus side, missed the deuce on the way down.

  • @alaskaoak2785
    @alaskaoak2785 Год назад +8

    This happened to my supervisor when I was working landscaping... he was edging, his partner was mowing, hit a pinecone and it ricocheted out from under the mower and hit my supervisor in the eye. He was blind for 3, maybe 4 days before he started to recover his vision.

  • @10500042
    @10500042 Год назад +18

    This is evidence that you never know what's gonna be funny. Niko over here laying down pure gold the entire video and I laugh at him cussing out people for screaming on a 3 foot snow ramp

  • @Scottagious
    @Scottagious Год назад +11

    Not even five minutes in and I'm dying. Love this content, Nikko

  • @conservative_Redskin
    @conservative_Redskin Год назад +6

    9:14 Niko goose stepping like he has done it before.😂

  • @philmcglen6194
    @philmcglen6194 Год назад +6

    The only conversation I'd have with a bear in my house would start with a "click clack" 😂

  • @Livi-09
    @Livi-09 Год назад +5

    The way Nikko moved when he said reverse🤣🤣.

  • @Maria___
    @Maria___ Год назад +10

    I needed a good laugh, thank you nikko 💚💚💚

  • @Nikkolive
    @Nikkolive Год назад +2

    Exposed myself with the pole jump 😂😂

  • @GiaShawkey1
    @GiaShawkey1 Год назад +1

    Bro it’s always so funny when nerds get hurt. Thank you Nikko for the content keep sending it

  • @user-oc4fk6ln5g
    @user-oc4fk6ln5g 11 месяцев назад +1

    All your content never gets old.

  • @banthab0mb
    @banthab0mb Год назад +3

    Loved watching this live. Great to see it again. :)

  • @BentleyBohemian_96
    @BentleyBohemian_96 9 месяцев назад +7

    As a army brat with friends who eventually joined the military im happy to have found you. Military life growing up in and actually living in and through is no joke.😅 it has its times

  • @LilLieutenantRicky
    @LilLieutenantRicky Год назад +2

    My friends dad had a lawn mower accident! He was doing dumb shit with his friends and his pants got caught in the lawn mower! He didnt get hurt but it was hilarious and scary at the same time lol.

  • @mightknowyou
    @mightknowyou Год назад

    I like that Nikko has so much energy

  • @SK-ve5wp
    @SK-ve5wp Год назад

    Watching this while getting ready for work. Made my day better

  • @Killer_Sloth
    @Killer_Sloth Год назад +3

    Nikko would be the best person to hang out with

  • @Texas-Steak
    @Texas-Steak Год назад +3

    You should do some stories about your military career (scariest, coolest, and funniest)

  • @ayo_its_ellie
    @ayo_its_ellie Год назад

    Thanks Nikko for the upload, always look forward to em❤❤❤

  • @TheKrazykris
    @TheKrazykris Год назад +2

    I once found a large metal spike in my yard with the lawnmower. It happened to be the grounding rod for the house, and it completely destroyed the blade.

  • @bobbuilder9143
    @bobbuilder9143 Год назад

    Man had the black tank valve wide open, how its was suppose to go is hook up, run tube to hole in ground open valve and wait, then disconnect and run water from hose though to "rinse out" cap and roll it up then all done. You know i love the content so keep up the fantastic work !!!!!!

  • @railasvuo
    @railasvuo Год назад

    Always a good time when Nikko uploads!

  • @richwhite875
    @richwhite875 12 дней назад

    Yo Nikko's face when he imatated the lawnmower kids laugh killed me 😂😂😂

  • @brayden2859
    @brayden2859 10 месяцев назад

    Legend says, that quad is still rolling to this day😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ray-garl
    @ray-garl 6 месяцев назад

    Lol I wasn't paying attention and I totally thought the goat screaming was nikko. I hit rewind and then seen it was indeed a goat. 😂

  • @brandon4391
    @brandon4391 Год назад

    Niko and Leon Lush reacting to fails has brought back those 2012 vibe fail comps

  • @williamjeffersonclinton69
    @williamjeffersonclinton69 Год назад

    Only Lawnmower accident I ever had as a landscaper, I took over a neglected account. Also the former landscapers mounted the sprinklers a little too high. So I had to replace several sprinklers when I mowed the overgrown lawn.

  • @harkfish5500
    @harkfish5500 5 месяцев назад

    Eat shit nerd is literally my favorite phrase. In traffic, at the store, to my kids, its just all enconpassing trash talk.

  • @haydenlewis7849
    @haydenlewis7849 Год назад +2

    The title is something I would say to my friend after I throw a science book at him

  • @ravey_jawzy
    @ravey_jawzy Год назад +3

    Always a good time when Nikko uploads.👍

  • @ambery4685
    @ambery4685 Год назад

    Oh dear...lol....the car in the flood was still plugged in.😂

  • @ec1032am
    @ec1032am Год назад

    My lawn mower accident involved baby bunnies... I pay someone else to mow my yard now. My Karma will never recover, and everyone at work loves reminding me, especially around Easter.

  • @niaveowl0079
    @niaveowl0079 Год назад

    That Patrick and Anime meme got me🤣

  • @LionDancingYESS
    @LionDancingYESS Год назад

    1:09 yeahh.. my parents and and my granddad do lawn work (or did) and my grandad GOT HIS LEG STUCK UNDER THE BIG ASS LAWN MOWER ONCE.. what a bloody scene (he fr went from fighting fires to fighting lawn mowers)

  • @athena8749
    @athena8749 Год назад

    The music got me so bad😂and Nikko's little dance💀😂

  • @MonumentToSin
    @MonumentToSin Год назад

    1:42 The instructions are literally displayed on the sign right next to him 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @justinrogers6497
    @justinrogers6497 10 месяцев назад

    Lawnmower accidents suck. I spent almost 6 months in physical therapy learning how to walk again.

  • @MN_Life45x
    @MN_Life45x Год назад +1

    I’ve dun the lawnmower thin but with a zero turn and a shop Matt

  • @MooQuack
    @MooQuack Год назад

    Haha, that lady begging her brother to backup away from the land slide and he just moves like 2 inches.

  • @nikkoortizshorts
    @nikkoortizshorts Год назад

    It’s Nikkos demonstrations for me 😅

  • @polisheagl
    @polisheagl Год назад +1

    Only BANGERS out here

  • @gre1311
    @gre1311 Год назад

    That bear just wants a hug 🫂

  • @matthewdunn8847
    @matthewdunn8847 3 месяца назад

    I wont get mad when someone scares me but you cant get mad if I swing during the IMMA DIE moment

  • @MiLax16
    @MiLax16 Год назад

    NGL if my friend failed a jump like that I'm LMAO 🤣🤣

  • @heatherd0519
    @heatherd0519 Год назад

    Almost LPN here. Worst mowing accident I’ve seen, we had a diabetic patient who was mowing the lawn in flip-flops! Then waited a MONTH to come to the hospital. They did not get to keep their foot.

  • @Rebekah_lyn711
    @Rebekah_lyn711 День назад

    My worst lawnmower accident was getting stung by wasps while mowing

  • @realwizzurd7364
    @realwizzurd7364 8 месяцев назад

    I love when your editor uses psr clips 😂

  • @Zorro08gaming
    @Zorro08gaming Год назад

    I once got sent to the ER from my lawnmower engine exploding and sending metal shards into my face, im ok now but with some scars and i still love to mow my lawn

  • @general_omega8980
    @general_omega8980 10 месяцев назад +2

    Bro, I was drinking water, and u made that sound. I almost spit the water on my laptop 8:31

  • @gator3138
    @gator3138 Год назад +1

    Always a good day when Nikko uploads.

  • @Itsjustmace44
    @Itsjustmace44 Год назад

    fear factor but in Nikko’s comments 😂

  • @blazintroy
    @blazintroy Год назад

    If you flinched at the rug mower….. you’ve probably exploded something before lmao

  • @teokasza9414
    @teokasza9414 Год назад

    Hot rod reference, I like it !

  • @adamlovely2101
    @adamlovely2101 Год назад

    My lawnmower accident was slipping on a bank...resulting in pulling a tendon in my leg to where I couldn't lift my toes and had to drag my left foot like a cripple for 6 months before it healed

  • @American4.ISRAELS.right2exist.
    @American4.ISRAELS.right2exist. Год назад +1

    I would kick the fire hydrant Bro😂😂😂

  • @jakesdreed
    @jakesdreed Год назад

    "Would you drink the water for money?"
    Me- You're goddamn right.

  • @BTarpley805
    @BTarpley805 Год назад

    Nikko, have you seen the NEW insider video about jungle training? Can't wait to see that RAGE 🫣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @moe_jooe
    @moe_jooe 10 месяцев назад

    I got hit in the nuts rolling over a rocky patch with a push mower lol

  • @devildawg1178
    @devildawg1178 Год назад

    My uncle just lost 2 finger tips reaching into a lawn mower lol

  • @lpsStar02
    @lpsStar02 Год назад

    1:03 was so sincere; I fucking wheezed.

  • @neotheangel1968
    @neotheangel1968 9 месяцев назад +1

    6:02 had me on the floor dying 😂😂

    • @user-uh7bw3of7k
      @user-uh7bw3of7k 7 месяцев назад

      I got a clash add when i clicked your comment 😂

    • @neotheangel1968
      @neotheangel1968 7 месяцев назад

      @@user-uh7bw3of7k lmao

  • @jackmaboi5231
    @jackmaboi5231 Год назад

    I love all the PSR clips

  • @lucasnaidl9006
    @lucasnaidl9006 Год назад

    Took a rock to the shin when mowing

  • @gregdavis5339
    @gregdavis5339 Год назад

    I was in a lawnmower accident and lost both my legs below my knees. Happened on Labor Day before I turned 3 in November

  • @beastmode8987
    @beastmode8987 11 месяцев назад

    Dude the boat thing: when your truck won’t start and your 12 beers in

  • @SnickC13
    @SnickC13 Год назад

    Love your content Nikko keep up the great work!

  • @smexyapman
    @smexyapman Год назад

    6:17 I am so happy your take is the same as mine. The dude went full wwe on this lady...

  • @FunnyManCS
    @FunnyManCS Год назад

    I know a person who was in a lawnmower accident when he was a kid. He's now a judge with a hook for a hand.

  • @yogawithkatharine734
    @yogawithkatharine734 Год назад +1

    That diarrhea water would have killed me right then and there 💀

  • @DOOMSDAYOFDEATH
    @DOOMSDAYOFDEATH Год назад

    Nikko you always make me laugh so hard😂

  • @williamtufts3600
    @williamtufts3600 Год назад

    Lawnmower accident. Back in the day when we had phone books my dad backed over one on a riding mower. It looked like New York on new years day. Confetti literally covering the whole front yard.

  • @lebronjames12427
    @lebronjames12427 Год назад

    Yo how are you Nikko? These fail are the best 🙌💯

  • @Biggzgames54-on5qq
    @Biggzgames54-on5qq Год назад +1

    Do more army training videos pleaseeeee!!

  • @NkFlw
    @NkFlw Месяц назад

    "Beep they be beep and beep beep, beep beep, beep beep, right?"
    - Nikko Ortiz

  • @user-os6ei5ws2j
    @user-os6ei5ws2j 3 месяца назад

    I had a dog that used to jump on my ride on mower the seat was pretty much a safety switch and it would start up and go and he'd just sit there it was a yorkie funniest shit ever 😂😂😂

  • @BeamFun1
    @BeamFun1 10 месяцев назад

    0:58 my mom was mowing the lawn and a rock went through the window lol

  • @hunterthomas5801
    @hunterthomas5801 3 месяца назад

    Never seen any significant lawnmower accidents, but I knew a kid whose drunken uncle ran over his foot on a riding mower that led to a transtibial amputation. (Below the knee) Because it happened when he was so young, he grew up with one leg and could move around like a monkey with ninjutsu training. He honestly turned that disability into a super power.

  • @saltyecc1210
    @saltyecc1210 Год назад

    for 100 million maybe.....
    fire hydrant
    and no not for 1 million
    great video!

  • @woodrowwells1704
    @woodrowwells1704 11 месяцев назад

    That owl came to deliver the letter from Hogwarts man

  • @Morbid_Freyja27
    @Morbid_Freyja27 Год назад

    God luck trying to scare me. I rarely get scared if ever I honestly can't remember the last time I was scared. 🤣😝

  • @AndyDrake-FOOKYT
    @AndyDrake-FOOKYT Год назад

    There's always the darwin award video where the guy blows up the lawnmower with tannerite.
    That's my hometown.

  • @djwabe3938
    @djwabe3938 Год назад

    @3:13 they're speaking Bisaya. At first she was chatting about somebody's sibling, then shouted "Go back! go back!" when the landslide happened.

  • @graygh0st
    @graygh0st 9 месяцев назад +1

    My dads riding lawnmower shot a rock out the shute and it hit me in the head, it wasnt a big enough rock for a concusion or anything but was big enough to leave a pretty good sized mark

  • @Jake-yx8bs
    @Jake-yx8bs Год назад

    I work as a firefighter i seen some lawnmowers do some crazy stuff

  • @Charles36.
    @Charles36. Год назад

    My friends dad lost his big toenail in a lawnmower accident and he said it honestly wasn’t that bad 😂

  • @xdfraggs
    @xdfraggs 2 месяца назад

    That bear will definitely meet a couple slugs loll

  • @zeusisgamin716
    @zeusisgamin716 10 месяцев назад

    Balls to get face 🤣🤣

  • @feralbunnydonut8495
    @feralbunnydonut8495 Год назад

    Lol that’s a good goalie sacrificing his face for the team

  • @therealbeast660
    @therealbeast660 Год назад

    This is an honest to God lawn mower story
    My neighbor called me one summer about 7 years ago and straight up said "i need you to go into my front lawn and find my fingers" this dude was driving himself to the emergency room with his hand wrapped up. I told him on the phone if i find his fingers ill throw up haha. Needless to say the mower mulched the grass very well, also fingers. I call him nubs now.

  • @kcbobbin7739
    @kcbobbin7739 Год назад

    YOOO Nikko, Business Insider!! How the Army is training soldiers for a war with China!! Do a review!!!!❤❤❤

  • @xChicKenStew
    @xChicKenStew 3 месяца назад

    Friend from high-school decided to cut his lawn after it rained wearing sandles. He slipped and his foot went right under slicing 3 toes. He had to crawl to his house to call for help.

  • @meganjaime7728
    @meganjaime7728 Год назад

    7:26 that’s kinda cool! I would try to pet it not gonna lie. Although it would most likely end in me getting attacked 😆

  • @SSXVegeta
    @SSXVegeta Год назад +2

    I think the anger after a jumpscare is just dependent on how a persons brain reacts to the adrenaline and such. Then its just up to your anger management to chill out.
    Cause I immediately get super pissed whenever someone jumpscares me too, but after about 5 seconds I laugh and have a good time with it too.
    Fight or flight. In some people the 'fight' comes with 'anger'
    A good example, go watch some videos from 'Texas Bushman' who is basically 100% jumpscaring people. Youll usually see people have an extreme fight or flight. Some will go 'you stupid f*ck' but then start laughing and give a high five. Same with people who jump away in fear, they will start laughing and talk to the guy.

  • @terihumphrey6624
    @terihumphrey6624 Год назад

    You sure you weren't in the Navy😂