8 Things You Must Know Before Going No Contact With Your Affair Partner - Infidelity Breakups

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  • Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
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    8 Things you must know before going no contact
    The no contact rule for affair relationships explained.
    This video is created for the other woman/mistress/side chick who is dating a married man (or if you are someone who has feelings for an unavailable man and deep down you know you need to end it).
    If you have been wanting to end a long term affair for a while now yet you keep going back, this video around the no contact rule and the benefits of going no contact could be the answer to you creating change for good.
    Do you love your affair partner yet you are finding the pain of living a double life and being the side chick with no real commitment or progression forward is taking too big a toll on your emotional well being?
    Maybe no contact is the only way to break the temptations of constantly going back into the affair relationship.
    00:00 - Intro
    2:21 What does no contact really mean?
    3:01 Breakup of an affair feels more painful than any other breakup
    3:18 What are the rules of no contact?
    3:21 Choosing to cut all ties and commit to no contact.
    4:21 How long to go no contact can depend on how long your affair was
    5:42 No contact means no text messaging, no emails, social media, or liking posts
    8:03 Cut contact by blocking vs telling him in person
    12:43 What is your intent behind going silent / no contact?
    8:57 Fear going back and not following through after cutting contact / breaking it off.
    9:04 I was in an affair for 7 years and I constantly felt like I could follow through with my word, ending it for good.
    10:24 No longer having your affair partner in your life.
    11:04 Don’t want your affair partner to stop caring for you.
    12:04 What is best for me to support my growth moving forward.
    12:44 Intention for going no contact.
    15:25 Why do you want to go no contact? Personal growth vs control
    15:34 Be clear that it's over:
    17:00 Don’t end it half-heartedly
    17:06 Fear setting boundaries because you fear losing the love. You have never had someone love you like this.
    18:06 When you do end the affair be clear on ending it.
    18:10 Your language is everything
    18:29 Effective communication for ending an affair relationship
    19:06 I don’t want to be dating a married man. Notice how you speak to him.
    20:22 He may start showing up differently
    20:26 Tried to break it off and keep going back.
    22:55 It won't be easy
    23:08 Affair breakups are not easy
    24:48 You are detoxing
    25:08 Infidelity can be an addiction. Affair relationships can feel like a drug.
    25:10 Oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine hormones in affair relationships as the other woman
    27:49 You will get perspective
    29:26 It also allows one to heal faster over time
    29:30 Finding yourself after an affair, healing from being in an affair and healing shame of living a double life.
    30:23 Stop investing in an affair relationship so you can stop losing yourself to be loved by him.
    What does no contact consist of?
    - No phone calls
    - No text messages
    - No emails
    - No going places where you hope to run into him
    - No Social media interacting
    - No meeting up with his close connections to get the inside scoop
    - No stalking: This means in person or through internet/friends social media.
    Topics we will cover in this video:
    What is no contact?
    How to end an affair
    Benefits of no contact after a breakup
    The No Contact Rule Explained
    Does the no contact rule work?
    How to make no-contact easier and less painful
    How do I go no contact if we work together if our kids are friends, we work out at the same gyms, go to church together ect?
    How long does no contact last?
    Why is the no contact rule for affair relationships so effective?
    How long should you implement the no contact rule with your affair partner?
    This is a channel for women in affair relationships as the "other woman"/mistress. My intention is to create a safe place where you can get the answers you are seeking in order to create lasting change in your life. If you are dating or in love with a married man and don't know what to do then you are in the right place. ❤️
    Kate London Affair Recovery Coaching Australia And Worldwide:
    To book a free call with me:
    calendly.com/k...
    Website:
    katelondon.com.au
    Instagram:
    / katelondon01

Комментарии • 152

  • @Wrxgirl2021
    @Wrxgirl2021 Год назад +67

    I’ve realized it’s not the person you want. It’s the chemical feeling. The dopamine and serotonin. It’s simply a chemical addiction. Understanding this makes it so much easier.

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +1

      Adulterous affairs with married people are always morally wrong. Get a clue. Sex is NOT love.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 7 месяцев назад +2

      Yes. This is it exactly.

    • @reandam4089
      @reandam4089 5 месяцев назад

      That's so true. I actually grew tired of seeing the person, but then I keep coming back. 😢

    • @WhatTheFk09
      @WhatTheFk09 3 месяца назад

      @@BAMshazam 100% of the world has no morals. Either you’re lying, stealing, killing, fornicating, cheating, hating, disrespectful, beating, overweight, drugs, abandoning your kids, raping, drugs, trafficking, prostitution, gambling, marrying for the wrong reasons, divorce, abusive, etc. No saints in this corrupt world! 4/29/24 @ 8:46A.

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад +1

      We’re still chemical after 24 years 🙌

  • @bethzaidasanabria8280
    @bethzaidasanabria8280 10 месяцев назад +59

    You don’t want to be his wife. He is a cheater. Feel sorry for his wife. She will never get free from him. You did. You are not missing anything. You are the winner.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 7 месяцев назад

      This!!!!!

    • @palapalak.8907
      @palapalak.8907 2 месяца назад

      Absolutely

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад

      Positively

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 22 часа назад

      Too bad adulterous cheaters that encroach on other people’s marriage don’t just tell the wife. She may just hand him to you on a silver platter. What the flip women? what are you doing? Why do you want an infidel? The wife should get to choose if she wants her lying cheating devious deceptive backstabbing infidel. So you could have that kind of man if you just told the wife you want her creep? Freaking weird.

  • @Softsoul.
    @Softsoul. 2 года назад +92

    Its the jealousy and overthinking that is breaking me. I just broke up with him and blocked him everywhere. I’m determined to heal myself during the no contact fase. I’m doing this for me and NOT TO GET HIM BACK!!! He wasn’t leaving his wife anyways…..so I took the power back for myself.

    • @lotusmccary9365
      @lotusmccary9365 2 года назад +7

      Proud of you

    • @Amylynnklh900
      @Amylynnklh900 Год назад +6

      How did it go for you? Any update?

    • @Unit68
      @Unit68 Год назад

      @Nzinga Mbandi how did it pan out? Did he stay away?

    • @Softsoul.
      @Softsoul. Год назад +5

      @@Unit68 we are back again. I couldn’t stay strong. But our relationship is going very well

    • @palapalak.8907
      @palapalak.8907 Год назад +2

      Good!

  • @statnotes6339
    @statnotes6339 Год назад +36

    Thank you, I can believe I found someone who talks about this, it's been extremely lonely experience.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад +1

      Thankyou 💕I'm glad you feel seen and validated in your experience Stat Notes 💕

    • @shandb1
      @shandb1 Год назад +4

      Agreed this has been one of the hardest situationships I have ever experienced , my heart is broken most of the time

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@shandb1 Painful for sure. I’m sorry you fell into this nightmare. Imagine how his spouse feels since the commitment was made to him/her and their soul bond was broken. Now you’re attached to the soul bond the cheater has with his spouse. They are no longer just 2. You made it a bond of at least 3 as who knows how many others the cheater has been with. Betrayed spouses are traumatized by the lies, deception, betrayal, adulterous infidelity. Betrayed spouses develop PTSD. It’s extremely traumatic. So please respect yourself and others. Why even want a cheater? The cheater obviously can’t keep a commitment so don’t ever believe the back stabbing cheater could ever be faithful to you. Best wishes to you for a full recovery. I hope this helps you escape. You deserve a real relationship. I hope you find true love.

  • @victoriashelfer4325
    @victoriashelfer4325 Год назад +63

    Kate, I have no idea how many times I have watched this video at different stages of my affair. 4 years. Every time I would “hear go no contact because it is the only thing that will work” I cringed. I didn’t want to not talk to him. I couldn’t do it. I think for me I had to get to a point where I had had enough. Maybe we are all that way, some of us are just faster than others. But this time is different and real. I want to heal and I don’t want him to contact. Thank you so much for your videos. There is so little out their for us because we are home wreckers. But so many of us are good moral people who didn’t go seeking this. And this whole situation is so painful and for me has been so painful for years. Praying for peace and wholeness.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад +3

      Hi Victoria, Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm so happy to hear you have found this safe place where you feel seen and understood. It's not an easy journey and we are here for you every step of the way 💕

    • @Stephanie-pu9lj
      @Stephanie-pu9lj Год назад +1

      Did his wife know about the affair?

    • @Unit68
      @Unit68 Год назад +2

      @Victoria Shelfer how are you now? Did you make it through the other side of 'no contact'?

    • @Angel_eyes___
      @Angel_eyes___ Год назад

      W

    • @Angel_eyes___
      @Angel_eyes___ Год назад +1

      Yep so true, I backed away. He called , said i was going to talk about what? All about him. Click . Done.

  • @lucid5411
    @lucid5411 Год назад +27

    I’m no contact for almost 3 months. I am so relieved to have him out of my life. Glad I don’t have to deal with him anymore

  • @nysergeant133
    @nysergeant133 11 месяцев назад +29

    As devastating as it was, I now am so grateful he ended it, blocked me. I didn't have the strength at that time. I ended up cyber stalking for three years after. I am now Day 34 of NO cyber stalking and my healing is excellerated by doing so.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  11 месяцев назад

      Yay @nysergeant133!! I am so proud of the action you are taking on your healing journey. Thank you for sharing your updates with us all 💕

    • @rhondawhittaker4463
      @rhondawhittaker4463 Месяц назад

      @katelondon01..can you offer any words of support 🙏.

  • @everready2903
    @everready2903 2 года назад +24

    Opening up your phone to watch a video of yourself when you're feeling strong!
    *But secretly hoping they've texts!!" 😭

  • @EButta71
    @EButta71 2 года назад +23

    😢 After 4weeks no contact he reached out and I relapsed. It's been like a 3 week relapse but we decided today to stop again and I expressed how important it is for me--and for him. I really do want to get on the other side of this. Your videos are amazing and so spot on.

    • @EButta71
      @EButta71 2 года назад +8

      Me to me: Proud of you girl...I feel free! I've been praying and I honestly feel like I'm no longer attracted to him.

    • @everready2903
      @everready2903 2 года назад +4

      @@EButta71 Wow nice!! That feeling when you realise their power over you is weakening!

  • @ReRe-hh5my
    @ReRe-hh5my Год назад +21

    I"m most fearful that he'll get insulted that I am attempting to leave him and he will be the one to follow through with the no contact better than I can. I might find myself needing to talk to him and will be all alone in the world again. The weird thing about it all is that I don't even want all the baggage he would bring to me if we had a normal relationship. I'm not sure if it's love or my ego that's making me want him to choose me.

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +7

      It can’t be love. Love is built on righteousness, truth and respect. Love cannot be built on lies, deception, betrayal and this kind of abusive backstabbing behavior. You can’t trust this person who values sex more than love. If he can disrespect and destroy the commitment he made to his spouse, please know he’s that type of arrogant lying disrespectful person. Flee. Get out now. Respect yourself and others. You deserve so much better.

    • @deenabellin448
      @deenabellin448 2 месяца назад

      Men look for broken women to have affairs with. You are better off alone than with someone who is just using you as a side piece.

  • @celestehaynes8261
    @celestehaynes8261 Год назад +13

    Miss Katie, why am I just finding you on RUclips? You are awesome, transparent, non-judgemental and very encouraging! You are speaking straight into my situation and it is speaking to my soul.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад +2

      Thankyou Celeste, such beautiful words. I'm so glad to hear that this video resonates with you 💕

  • @dermoaesthetics1199
    @dermoaesthetics1199 Год назад +7

    I’m about 8 wells in on No Contact xx
    It is really hard still I have some good day but today it’s hard.
    I have made sure there is no way of contacting with him even if I tried to xx
    I found out he was in a relationship after 1 year it took me 6 months to disconnect ❤ thank you so helpful xx

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад

      Hi Dermo Aesthetics, Those first 8 can be very challenging 💕 and finding out 1 year in is beyond painful. Sending you love and support on your healing journey xx

  • @lucymarie7895
    @lucymarie7895 Год назад +18

    I've been in one for over 3 yrs and considering on cutting it off cold turkey. Telling him might lead him to talk me out of leaving him. Thinking just blocking him without him knowing is best. I mean in the end I do not need to answer too him. He's not my partner. He has a wife. Im.not her. This is where I'm standing.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад +3

      Hi Lucy, I'm glad to hear you are in the process of taking these big steps. I'm here to support you along the way 💕

    • @lucymarie7895
      @lucymarie7895 Год назад +1

      @@katelondon01 thank you Kate. I've been watching your story the last couple days. I've been a relationship with a married man for over 3 years and his home drama with her and her grown kids in their home as well as him housing his elder parents have been a reason he's not ended it. Saying he's worried she'll take him to the cleaners and leave him and his parents homeless. I tried to tell him she can't take everything plus he won't seek out legal advice. He just listens to his friends last experiences. Plus his idea to file is to find a way to get her out of the house. Like convincing her to start a food business back home in another state. His thought process makes no sense too me. All I get is alot of.... I'm trying everyday. This has stressed me out. Just can't keep doing this waiting game. And in the same breath he says he doesn't want to lose me. It's frustrating.

    • @bravefitchick7184
      @bravefitchick7184 Год назад +6

      @@lucymarie7895 Of course he doesn't want to loose you. Given his situation, *he can have his cake (hold on to his house and finances) and eat it too* [you, with basically little more then a "no strings attached" side piece].
      Sorry to be so blunt, but
      I just ended mine after realizing this! Maybe my insight into my own situation can help you? Even though I know he was falling in love with me, I started thinking about how selfish it was on his part. He was basically thinking about his own situation, comfort and convenience above mine.

    • @lucymarie7895
      @lucymarie7895 Год назад +1

      @bravefitchick thank you for this. The last few months my mental strength to grown more strong to part ways has gotten better. I know it's not a full blown break away but I'm making strides to do a full blown separation.

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад

      @@lucymarie7895oh boy … it’s what I’ve been dealing with … take care of yourself

  • @nicolemoreland1457
    @nicolemoreland1457 7 месяцев назад +4

    My affair partner is a friend of over 20 years... we went back and forth for the last 14 years with it becoming a full fledged affair in 2021.. I left my long term partner and he stayed with his wife, ultimately ghosting me in April... He texts me every now and again and idk how to tell him I can't right now... I also don't wanna lose the friendship we had prior to the affair and during it...

  • @npkrn6764
    @npkrn6764 3 месяца назад +1

    Luckily for me - before going through this I had been through the sudden death of my Father whom I was very close with. When the man I was seeing was backpeddling and it became evident he wanted to return to his wife, (they had been separated for 2 years 🙄) I was very hurt but I told him "I've been through worse than you" and yes - that was 100% true. I think he expected me to prop up his ego and cry and beg or something but...no. I have my dignity. Plus by that point, his vacillating behavior just looked weak to me. I need a real man. One of integrity and who knows himself and what he wants and doesn't have to hurt others to get it, or to feel important. If you put things in perspective, often you'll start to have that view of them and its not attractive AT ALL.

  • @littlemissy8356
    @littlemissy8356 2 года назад +14

    I think it is important to understand that having someone to talk is really good (but highest of caution not to),. If this can be done and the person you are talking to is totally discreet, and you are sure of that, go ahead. Or they could stop being your friend and tell everybody. But I think it is really easy to expect other people to understand you, and people usually don't. They will probably judge you as immoral. You take the risk of them blabbing it to everyone or even calling the AP's spouse. This will cause undo serious problems. This video is helpful, and insightful, and give practical tools to work with, but a person does what they do when they are ready, With that I do have high regard for Kate London's help. Secondly, check the credit you give him, he doesn't deserve it. Thirdly, don't even think about telling they're partner, consider that you didn't consider her to begin with, and you did make the decision as well as he did to do this.

    • @lotusmccary9365
      @lotusmccary9365 2 года назад +1

      I recommend a therapist only

    • @lotusmccary9365
      @lotusmccary9365 2 года назад +3

      His spouse is his problem and vice versa.

    • @Unit68
      @Unit68 2 года назад +4

      It's not fair to say "you didn't consider her to begin with" and assume that the 'other woman'
      a) knew about the spouse at all to begin with
      b) believed his story that she was a horrible, abusing spouse who made his life a living hell
      c) knew about her and felt terrible the whole time, but you fell for the narrative that you were so 'in love' and his relationship with her was 'practically over' - and it took a long time to wake up to his manipulative power over you, against your better judgement

    • @franziskani
      @franziskani 9 месяцев назад

      @@Unit68 A partner eager to cheat tells the future affair partner that the spouse is terrible / we are done anyway, I am in the process of leaving / we are in the process of getting a divorce / it is only the kids that still keep us together.
      Take a pick.
      And when has a wanna-be cheater been deceptive with those statements ? Ever ?

  • @Unit68
    @Unit68 11 месяцев назад +5

    I'm 4 months no contact and all of a sudden it's as painful as the first week. It feels never ending. I hope he never reaches out. So far he hasn't which feels like my resolve hasn't really been tested yet. I fear how I may respond if he does message me. Waiting for that moment is torture.

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +3

      Love is built on righteousness, truth and respect. Love cannot be built on lies, deception, betrayal and this kind of abusive backstabbing behavior. You can’t trust this person who values sex more than love. If he can disrespect and destroy the commitment he made to his spouse, please know he’s that type of arrogant lying disrespectful person. Flee. Respect yourself and others. You deserve so much better.

  • @goofyjohn6191
    @goofyjohn6191 Год назад +10

    I left both of my cheating wives immediately with zero contact for decad s now.

  • @shaspaz
    @shaspaz 16 дней назад +2

    2nd viewing thank you for this Kate

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  8 дней назад

      I'm so glad the video has been helpful @shaspaz 🤍

  • @pamm3284
    @pamm3284 Год назад +4

    Thanks for your advice, Kate. Very helpful!

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад

      Thankyou Pam, I'm glad to hear you found it helpful 💕

  • @hugorabe4395
    @hugorabe4395 2 года назад +4

    This is a great video. Thanks!

  • @alextrainor2552
    @alextrainor2552 4 месяца назад +1

    Ive done this twice now and both times its ended with a part of my soul being permanently ripped away.

    • @skrisx
      @skrisx 2 месяца назад

      I feel I am going through this right now. I’m trying to see my way out of this…

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад

      Twice with the same one ? … That’s my situation … first time began 24 years ago we met online … after three years we went nc for many years then started conversing thru occasional emails until we reconnected again in Oct 2021 … and now it’s been a week of no contact bc he lost his job … perhaps the universe has divinely intervened … perhaps he’ll have a spiritual awakening and rise above his fear … I can’t imagine him not being in my life … though in just a weeks time it feels Ive been given a taste

  • @Angel_eyes___
    @Angel_eyes___ Год назад +5

    He told me he wanted to out a ring on my finger so we could be together forever. Yet i was foolish wasted 10 good years of my life. He started to be little me, call less only when he wanted phone sex which i declined. He started referring to his soon to be ex as his wife. I finally got it. Sad part is i loved him but he loved me not her. Money after the divorce may be an issue. I told him money can't by me love. He laughed and said she makes 3 times what i make now. She runs the finances. I have no idea what we own but we own a lot. Pffff later. She goes on separate vacations 4 times a year. I think she has a side fling. But that is there business. They have had separate bedrooms for 20 years. He lived with me fir 6 months while the divorce was supposedly filed. I left once i searched and the papers were never filed. But now i am thinking with my head and not my heart. It hurts. He treated me like a lady. Now time to heal me

    • @palapalak.8907
      @palapalak.8907 Год назад +3

      Good luck! I am breaking for the 4th time.
      No integrity or honesty with mine. I can't take it anymore
      Good luck!.

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад

      I feel bad for you ladies for letting your infidel lie to you use you, then run home to his wife and do her too. How much pain do you think the wife is in? He made a REAL COMMITMENT under God to her, and is probably at home convincing her he loves her. Wives get PTSD just like war veterans and rape victims. And you want to have that? He’ll do the same to you because he’s already cheating on you with his wife and maybe others. If it hurts now how do you think you’ll feel when he does it to you and you’re crazy with PTSD. Just like you think he loves you I’m positive his wife thinks he loves her too. Infidels are users and abusers and incapable of real love. Do you really want the liar, betrayer, user, abuser, back stabbing adulterer? Even if he leaves his wife, HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU. He already is with his wife. Don’t believe all his lies. I hope God blesses you with a REAL relationship. You deserve to be more than a used up Fantasyland chick. Find your self respect, start respecting other and remove yourself from the soul bond your adulterous partner has with his wife FIRST that you joined and are part of his soul bond with his wife.

  • @Unit68
    @Unit68 2 года назад +6

    I'm very curious what your story is, how your affair started, and when it ended. Are you angry that he didn't leave his partner, put you through all this pain and wasted your time? Is he still a temptation to you? No judgement, seriously! I am in the middle of being in your past position and think you are so strong and wise.

    • @Unit68
      @Unit68 2 года назад

      Also, do you think he was using you the whole time, as in having his cake and eating it too? Is lack of respect for your feelings and for his partner something that ever angered you? Or did he have a good reason, or seem to, that he was not happy at home and 'needed' you?

    • @lotusmccary9365
      @lotusmccary9365 2 года назад +5

      Yes they are always using affair partner.

  • @nadlat8880
    @nadlat8880 Год назад +1

    Excellent video.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад

      Thankyou Nad Lat, I'm glad you found it valuable ✨

  • @user-xq2tr9gw2g
    @user-xq2tr9gw2g 4 месяца назад +1

    Is this good advice for men as well?

  • @vanessabanks-anderson8378
    @vanessabanks-anderson8378 Год назад +3

    I am in a relationship with a man I had a affair with that was married he is still married but separated I am trying to end the relationship for 3 years but each time I try to break up I become very sick and need to see him I become so sick I can't eat or think but I am unhappy I can't understand why

  • @ladybird491
    @ladybird491 6 месяцев назад +2

    People are gambling with their life. They better start watching that show "snapped" people kill side pieces for sleeping with their spouses.

    • @gelleh.5456
      @gelleh.5456 6 месяцев назад

      This is why I’m not going back

    • @gracefullyrachel6573
      @gracefullyrachel6573 3 месяца назад

      They don’t understand the reality of their mistakes that’s why. You think getting away with infidelity is okay but what comes around goes around. Y’all better repent

  • @nasreendemaar6106
    @nasreendemaar6106 2 года назад +5

    I'm Islam he is allowed to have up to wives, so he asked his wife permission to marry another woman (he did not need her permission) obviously she disagreed. And now he dumps the girlfriend
    . He is the principal she is the secretary, they work together... Any advice,....

    • @mc-eo1wh
      @mc-eo1wh 2 года назад +10

      I assume you are a Muslim. Forgive me if you are not.
      Seeking permission to marry, but not zina (emotional / mental / physical), is actually a joke and clever tactic to use to find excuse to discard the second woman.
      As a Muslim married man, I know the dynamics and mentality behind this very well, especially as a Psychiatrist.
      He clearly played with her and had her as time pass and as an option, not priority.
      I would strongly suggest break the soul tie from this relationship no matter how painful this will be.
      Start healing from the pain and anguish, learning to forgive yourself, accept whatever sadness, pain and good / bad memories you will ruminate about.
      Repeatedly gently and empathetically advise and support her this woman to get herself physically occupied with different activities, in a completely different environment cutting off all contact with this man and anyone related to this man - be it professional or personal.
      Advise and guide her to focus on healing herself and choose to move on for better healthier relationship with Allah and a non married man. I know non married good decent civilised and educated men are hard to find.
      Allah will help her via Salah and Sabr no matter how painful this hardship will be.
      Ease will come after hardship. Allah promised that. She needs to rekindle and strengthen her relation with Allah.
      She needs to watch RUclips channels, Stephan Speaks and RC Blakes who despite being non Muslims, they both give absolute logical and practical advice regarding all sorts of such relationships and deep insights which are absolute eye openers.
      Unfortunately till date, no Muslim person ever gives such practical solutions and genuine support like how they do.
      They are your best and cheapest counsellors you can get at present online and you can repeatedly watch their videos and listen to their multiple advice until this woman heal completely.
      Allah has better plans for her. Every rejection is a protection from the Lord and He is redirecting to a better person beyond her imagination.
      Best wishes

    • @HippieZippy
      @HippieZippy Год назад +1

      @@mc-eo1wh Assalam Alaikum, this resonated with me and your advice is full of wisdom - Jazak'Allah khairan.
      We often forget that by turning to Allah sincerely and it's only by worshipping him alone with all our heart that we will find true contentment. Relationships, spouses, children can unfortunately cause us pain but there are lessons to be learnt from those hardships. It causes us or should rather, be the catalyst for reflection/ introspection and deep contemplation and thus enabling us to redirect our energy and misguided love. Thank you for such a wonder reminder. May the Almighty reward you in this life and the next - Aamin.

  • @goddessesofgolden
    @goddessesofgolden Год назад +2

    I had a real prize… never left his wife said he was living w his parents when he was w her and refuses to leave the job we both work at . He’s with his wife and basically discarded me

    • @EmpressLori1111
      @EmpressLori1111 10 месяцев назад +2

      Seriously? Most affairs end badly, because they involve two immature people who fear commitment and true intimacy. What were you expecting? Married men rarely leave their lives and wives for a side piece.

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +2

      That’s what you get for letting a married man crawl up yours. He has a soul bond with his wife. You’ll always be second fiddle.

  • @collenebartch3669
    @collenebartch3669 Год назад +4

    This is awesome. I needed to hear this. One question and this is to anyone. I have alot of mutual friends. My gut is telling me I have to cut all ties with everyone and it's better for me to heal. What's everyone's thoughts on this? Thanks

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад

      Your gut is more enlightened than others opinions Reds1965. It's challenging and it won't always make sense to people looking from the outside in but if it's going to support your healing then these boundaries are necessary 💕

    • @Wrxgirl2021
      @Wrxgirl2021 Год назад +1

      I’ve had to cut out all mutual friends if they weren’t willing to stop talking to him.

  • @BAMshazam
    @BAMshazam 21 час назад

    Affair is way too nice a term for adulterous infidelity.

  • @Unit68
    @Unit68 2 года назад +5

    15:15 all those reasons no contact won't work, that's where I am. It all makes sense what you say, but how do you get to the point where you can actually commit to no contact?

    • @lotusmccary9365
      @lotusmccary9365 2 года назад

      Lots of videos on how to prepare to go no contact. Plans to execute so one sticks to it

    • @Unit68
      @Unit68 Год назад

      @@user77-k6c not sure if you asked me, but no I haven't been able to do it. 😪

    • @aprilLiz2023
      @aprilLiz2023 11 месяцев назад

      @BittleLit I am sorry to hear about your pain…..somethings that can also help remembering that you WILL meet so many more people in your life… there will be a person or people who will be perfectly wanting to Truly Love you. These people who will be a health connection won’t be able to enter into your life until you get through the “no contact”. How long has it been since you have focused on you? How long has it been since you haven’t spent all your time thinking of him? If the answer is a very very long time…. Then it’s so important you do this… you do this for you! You are more special and valuable then you are giving to you. We teach people how to treat us by what we allow. Reset you- your health, your heart ❤️ get it full in being with your other friends. Tell your friends what your needing from them.. “hey I’m definitely needing some chats and time over the next few weeks while o get over something serious. Can you be there for me for a little while? I will get over it, just so need a few weeks of support?” Seek out EVERY WEEK (maybe
      Daily) the buzz you are desiring through other means eg: go dancing, go for a run and then journal in a diary “dear younger me… this is what you will be going through”. Just some ideas…

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +2

      Think about the PTSD he’s caused his wife. Then ask yourself if you want to be his next victim. Run

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад

      @@Unit68 please respect yourself and your fellow woman. You can have Fantasyland sex with anyone you’re attracted too. The infidel you’re having an adulterous fling with is using you. He’s lied to his wife and to you. Is that the kind of lying, cheating, deceiving, betrayal you want. He’s a backstabber that disrespected the woman he pledged his love to in a commitment under God, and held her in contempt. Do you really want the infidel? He’s already doing it to you. Run

  • @tiffanyriddle4422
    @tiffanyriddle4422 Год назад +1

    I have tried no contact blocking him etc. But he's relentless almost possessive it's to the point I'm moving and not telling him. I have to let go it's been 4 yrs and he doesn't want to make a decision or let me go.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад

      Hi Tiffany, so many people would be able to relate to your words right here. Thank you for sharing your experience with us all. Sending you strength during this time of massive change and uncertainty 💕

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад

      He wants his cozy home life with his wife. He’s having sex with his wife. Lying to you. He wants his cake and eat it too. Why would he give up either? Do you really want an adulterous infidel? Someone you could really NEVER TRUST. He pledged his love to his wife under God. Believe me, you don’t want a backstabber that will reduce you to ZERO like he did to the woman he pledged his life to. All the sexed up abusers need to be in an open relationship but it’s more exciting to keep secrets, sneak around and betray the person he “loves” and the person he says he loves and uses for extra sex because he can’t get enough. He’s already cheating on you with his wife so why would anyone want an adulterous infidel? Run

  • @Separo1
    @Separo1 Год назад +2

    Hello from Europe. Does these actions apply to men (the married partner) who had to tell the AP (the lover) that it was over even though they love the AP. But after 20 month and still in love with the AP, I am suffering. she text regularly to be friend but it hurt too much. She moved on but not me…. Are the recommended action (No contact for good) work to for a man too?

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад +2

      Absolutely Sep Paro 💕 You get to define what no contact looks like for your unique situation. If it's hurting you, there's often room for greater boundaries.

  • @ladybird491
    @ladybird491 6 месяцев назад

    Its more painful because you tried every trick to steal him and got played. You love bombed him too many times snd got played.

  • @alexandralarco
    @alexandralarco Год назад +2

    How can you do the no contact if is a co worker?

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  Год назад +3

      Hi Alexandra, If you can't do no contact then put boundaries in place to support your healing. Eg Delegate work that interacts with him where possible, have boundaries around communication eg keeping communication strictly about work. Impliment things that you can do to create physical or emotional space. Communicate this with him before acting on it so that he can support you on these boundaries.

  • @carolynslater1551
    @carolynslater1551 2 года назад

    Please please share your story. Or if there is a video point me toward it.

  • @sigmapimp1
    @sigmapimp1 9 месяцев назад

    Hello Miss Katie, i just got dumped by a married woman because she is tied to her husband. Even tho she said she does not love her husband anymore and loves me she had to let him help the rent since they were living together and when he suspected something she decided she wanted space from me. One side of me wants no contact and the other part wants me to tell her husband everything to get back at her for lying to me and me feeling used. How do i get the revenge part out of my head. Espec when i see them together sometimes

    • @sanitary103
      @sanitary103 3 месяца назад

      I wouldn’t try to get revenge. The husband could be crazy. You never know.

    • @laymanlogic
      @laymanlogic Месяц назад +1

      You have no honor.

  • @BAMshazam
    @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +2

    Hey Cheaters…. How about this. Just have an open relationship with another person who wants to sex up anyone and everyone, anywhere. The married partner has a soul bond with their spouse. If you are someone who takes on a married partner then expect to enter into a bond with 2 people not 1. You’re sharing the marriage bond with the partners spouse but you will always be second choice and only when he’s wanting to sex you up after he just sexed up his/her REAL partner.

  • @laymanlogic
    @laymanlogic Месяц назад

    Men listen closely if you were considering trying to stay with a cheating spouse. She is listing the millions of reasons to never deal with them ever again in anyway shape or form. So many evil women on here giving advice to other evil women.
    Each claiming you will grow from your affair. There are doors that should never be opened but if you open them the scars will always remain.

  • @BAMshazam
    @BAMshazam 21 час назад

    So why be a sneaky liar with an infidel? Why keep the wife in the dark?

  • @BAMshazam
    @BAMshazam 21 час назад

    Why is the wife not allowed to know? Why don’t you give the wife the choice if she wants you in her two became one soulbond that you entered to make 3 without her permission.

  • @user-bl7vn4fo9w
    @user-bl7vn4fo9w Год назад

    How ca I go in No Contact if we are teammates 😢 hayssss I don't want to leave my job and if I'll stay, It will really be painful specially he is getting married next month 😢

  • @heeiiii
    @heeiiii 3 месяца назад +2

    girl.. you were in a situation like this for SEVEN years.. and giving very mixed messages in this video.. not a person to give advice on it

    • @billy77511
      @billy77511 2 месяца назад +3

      Really! She should know

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад

      Who better knows than someone who’s experienced it first hand like she has ??

  • @lifeischeesy
    @lifeischeesy 9 месяцев назад +4

    There is little worse on this planet than a homewrecker. If you are stepping into another relationship you are a total piece of garbage. Billions of people on this planet and you choose to step into a family and hurt your AP spouse, their children, and everyone around them. The selfishness and lack of self respect is unreal. You are even worse than the cheater themselves. Get a grip and confess to AP spouse and begin to seek a better life.

    • @katelondon01
      @katelondon01  9 месяцев назад +2

      Can you tell me a little more about your comment "you are even worse than the cheater themselves" @lifeischeesy

    • @lifeischeesy
      @lifeischeesy 9 месяцев назад +5

      @@katelondon01 cheaters are inherently weak willed people. When you cheat, you aren’t truly seeking the love of another. You are seeking an escape from your own reality in an expression of your own toxic traits. An AP is someone who exploits that, knowing that they are stepping in between a family. That’s malicious at best. Many times the AP claims to genuinely care for the cheating partner, but if they actually care, they would try to keep them from actions that would bring dishonor to their soul. They would insist that the spouse either stay true to their partner or leave. But they think only of themselves and how to make the situation more favorable to them. That is not the behavior of someone who cares about someone else. You can love someone and wait for them to leave.
      Yes, that’s an emotional affair, but we can’t help how we feel. Only how we act.

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад

      @lifeischeesy … so how long were you a home wrecker ??

    • @lifeischeesy
      @lifeischeesy 2 месяца назад +2

      @@jodaisy113 Ignoring your sarcasm, I never was, but had plenty fuck up my relationships and relationships of loved ones.

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад +1

      @@lifeischeesy normally the one you’re in the relationship with is the one who is in control of the “home wrecking” … they made the promises in your vows to uphold … not the the third party

  • @robleekay6271
    @robleekay6271 Год назад +9

    In October 2022, I found out my wife of 30 yrs has been having an affair for the past 3yrs. The guy she was having the affair with is married. My wife has known this couple for about 14 yrs, so it makes the situation even worse. I asked my wife how could she go out with his wife and act like they are best friends and the whole time fucking her husband, my wife said she wouldn't think about things like that. I told her she was a cold hearted bitch. I still love my wife and hope we are able to work this out, but this affair has taken a huge toll on me. I never really knew the true meaning of trust until I discovered her affair.

    • @BAMshazam
      @BAMshazam 9 месяцев назад +2

      I’m so sorry you’re going through this trip down the road of the hell that’s called adulterous infidelity. It’s really sickening that your wife could be so blatantly disrespectful. She’s like my spouse. A sneaky, snakey, lying, disrespectful, backstabbing infidel. I asked my spouse to please go be with the adulterous fling partner so they can disrespect together and cheat on each other. Now my spouse is all freaked out that I’m not interested in being with an dishonest backstabbing lying lustful demon. Now my spouse loves me and his infidel fling partner was just for sex. Why would I want to be with a person who was supposed to be committed to me but broke our love bond under God. I’m so not into being “one” with someone who took our love bond and destroyed it and turned it in to a sex fueled bond full of other lustful disrespectful freaks. Our bond is now not two becoming one under God. It’s broken all to hell and filled with the demons of lust. I’ve been vomiting slimy mucus for weeks. Lost 20 pounds, can’t eat and have all the symptoms of PTSD. Not into being with anyone who can reduce me to ZERO, treat me with so much contempt and hurt others with lies, deception and the only sin one commits within their body. All other sin committed is outside the body. That’s why the only reason God will release you from your marriage is ADULTERY. You are free to go and not be considered an adulterer. Adultery should be a crime in all 50 states not just 16. God bless you. I wish you wellness, wholeness and a love that is trustworthy and true. 🙏🏼

    • @jodaisy113
      @jodaisy113 2 месяца назад

      @Bamshazam … Illegal ?? … Man made laws … man made bible/religion .. man made marital contracts … man breaks contracts