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I would never deal with a married man that is wrong there’s plenty of fish in the sea . Have dignity and self respect and respect for women , mothers , wives . Women who do that to other women are a disgrace to womanhood . If he’s doing that to his wife his family then what do you think he’s going to do with you . He’s already showing signs he’s a problem. You need to be a strong women and walk away and find someone your compatible with that is not married .

I would never deal with a married man that is wrong there’s plenty of fish in the sea . Have dignity and self respect and respect for women , mothers , wives . Women who do that to other women are a disgrace to womanhood . If he’s doing that to his wife his family then what do you think he’s going to do with you . He’s already showing signs he’s a problem. You need to be a strong women and walk away and find someone your compatible with that is not married .

I’m curious to know, whether this only applies to a marriage situation? I recently received a call from a woman - using the guy I'd been dating's phone. We were dating for 6 months. He knew I wasn't interested in dating casually. Told me he was single and had good intentions. Long story short; after telling me she was his longterm girl, she became aggressive. I remained calm and ended the call and didn't respond to the next one. She then texted to say that he left a voice message to say it was over. The voicemail was actually her demanding 'go on say it’, with him muttering ‘yes’. I was then blocked from WhatsApp....and have heard nothing since! I was shocked and disappointed. Trying to move on, but baffled. I feel sad, as I believed him to be a great guy and didn't see any red flags. He was extremely attentive, consistent and we connected both physically and mentally. Why create a relationship whilst still in one? I think he was probably trying to 'over lap' their relationship, as that's a logical explanation (could find himself a willing side chick, without needing to lie and be deceitful) I'm angry that he brought me into their relationship dynamic - whatever that is. Certainly stings to had unknowingly been the other woman 😏

Why do you feel as if you're owed respect? You sleep with married men! You have the moral compass of a working girl......but at least they're doing it for employment, and don't hide it. Children with two parents deserve a stable home with parents who love each other. Who are you to come along and take that away? People like you are truly from the sewer. The tragic thing is, with your looks, you could get any man you wanted......any SINGLE man! 🧐🤦

You're a headcase

The worst part was when he told me (thinking he was giving me a compliment) that I gave him the energy and happiness to cope with his life. Meaning he got the necessary positive energy and honey from me to feed and enrich the happiness at home with his family. That's when reality hit me most and I closed the door on him.

If you’re cheated on the best way to deal with it is to cheat back. Cheat back in secrecy though.

I wouldn't trust any man who needs other females as 'friends'.

It's good what you do here - looking from that perspective. What most people don't understand is how much women are already hurt when tapping into these situations. So much healing is necessary. But: if you can't speak about it - because there is so much shame attached to it - how will you ever resolve that? It's a betrayel wound. And strangely you betray yourself again by entering in a situation like this.

Wtf. Lol. Lying, cheating, manipulations. No honor. No loyalty. No morals. Just selfishness, lust, and pleasure seeking.

Lies..he’s moved on to someone else and will continue to cheat

Hi Kate, thank you so much for this, this is really helpful. I was wondering if you can talk about what to do after a period of no contact, say 6 months. Do we talk again or are they "dead" in our lives now? When do we decide we can talk again? Thank you

Thanks for sharing your insights. Sending healing ❤️‍🩹 and love ❤️

I wanted to say I’m grateful you do this videos they are really helpful 💙

It’s called Fantasyland Sex! Adulterous flings are evil. The majority of the betrayed even suffer PTSD.

Too many excuses on the cheating husbands part!

It's called 'getting played'... you got used for access to sex, variety, different from wifey. Rarely do these guys leave, but they'll tell you what you want to hear to appeal to your emotions in order to get in your pants. Hope that helps.

Good, he did the right thing by coming clean. Anybody hoping their affair is going somewhere is just fantasising

Thank you so much for this content, I am currently an emotional wreck and trying to stay strong and move forward but it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to face…I feel all the emotions mentioned, I feel the lust and chemistry, but at the same time, the loneliness that comes with all this…Here’s my story, my situation. I was his Professor, seeing him in my night classes daily; When I first met him he seemed attractive, but as always I stayed my margin as professional. He one day came into class stating he was getting separated and in the process of moving out and then divorce. I had no interest at the time and always respected and have boundaries with my adult students. He 34 I am 46… He little by little started getting friendly bringing me gifts, and finally asking me out for coffee, and dinners which I thought were going to just be friendly and platonic. He one day asked me out, and had dinner together, and after that, we kissed and had sex for the first time and after that it continued. We kept it secret in school, and was very difficult. One night he says to me that he had received messages from his wife that she was pregnant, and that he had to break it with me, because he was going to go back with her and fix the marriage. That weekend I come to find out through social media that they out to a hotel and to celebrate the new coming. I was emotionally distraught, a wreck, blocked him everywhere but school. At school he kept trying to talk to me, trying to seek my attention, and this where I fell in his trap & triangle mix of problems. Months have this started in the end of April beginning May, and its not ending… He recently messaged me stating that she lied to him about the pregnancy, and that all she wanted was for him to come back. He too was emotional affected by his situation with her, and was a mess and didn’t want to talk to me at the time… after a month we spoke again and started to secretly mess around again, but off and on, definitely not like when he was single. He’s not only lied to his wife, also I feel he’s lied to me as well when trying to provoke sexual contact with me, Im assuming when he’s not happy with her… I am a strong woman trying to move forward and trying hard to get out of this love triangle. Since then he’s in another class, but it’s so difficult as I am still a professor at that school, still see him every night , and have breaks together, and part ways as well. Im so hurt inside 😣, I cant think straight, I cnt focus, my goals and aspirations have gone to shitsss, I cant work, I cant cook nor eat, Im down to one meal a day, I cnt go to the gym with motivation as before .. Im not happy, Im miserable and tear up quick as I cry almost every day and night, every minute that a memory pops in my head. None of my friends know what happened, I have not shared my story as I am going through all this on my own..I am afraid to fall in depression. I just cant do the things as before… my life completely shifted… Im want him out him my mind…. I cant stop thinking of him. I was always a strong independent woman, enjoying my single life after being married for 18 yrs, and then single for 6 years. I am now weak, and sad a hot mess, which I am trying to go back and take control over. I will keep watching your videos. Please continue with your content, as there is nothing out there for us, to help us get out!

Thank you so much for this content, I am currently an emotional wreck and trying to stay strong and move forward but it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to face…I feel all the emotions mentioned, I feel the lust and chemistry, but at the same time, the loneliness that comes with all this…Here’s my story, my situation. I was his Professor, seeing him in my night classes daily; When I first met him he seemed attractive, but as always I stayed my margin as professional. He one day came into class stating he was getting separated and in the process of moving out and then divorce. I had no interest at the time and always respected and have boundaries with my adult students. He 34 I am 46… He little by little started getting friendly bringing me gifts, and finally asking me out for coffee, and dinners which I thought were going to just be friendly and platonic. He one day asked me out, and had dinner together, and after that, we kissed and had sex for the first time and after that it continued. We kept it secret in school, and was very difficult. One night he says to me that he had received messages from his wife that she was pregnant, and that he had to break it with me, because he was going to go back with her and fix the marriage. That weekend I come to find out through social media that they out to a hotel and to celebrate the new coming. I was emotionally distraught, a wreck, blocked him everywhere but school. At school he kept trying to talk to me, trying to seek my attention, and this where I fell in his trap & triangle mix of problems. Months have this started in the end of April beginning May, and its not ending… He recently messaged me stating that she lied to him about the pregnancy, and that all she wanted was for him to come back. He too was emotional affected by his situation with her, and was a mess and didn’t want to talk to me at the time… after a month we spoke again and started to secretly mess around again, but off and on, definitely not like when he was single. He’s not only lied to his wife, also I feel he’s lied to me as well when trying to provoke sexual contact with me, Im assuming when he’s not happy with her… I am a strong woman trying to move forward and trying hard to get out of this love triangle. Since then he’s in another class, but it’s so difficult as I am still a professor at that school, still see him every night , and have breaks together, and part ways as well. Im so hurt inside 😣, I cant think straight, I cnt focus, my goals and aspirations have gone to shitsss, I cant work, I cant cook nor eat, Im down to one meal a day, I cnt go to the gym with motivation as before .. Im not happy, Im miserable and tear up quick as I cry almost every day and night, every minute that a memory pops in my head. None of my friends know what happened, I have not shared my story as I am going through all this on my own..I am afraid to fall in depression. I just cant do the things as before… my life completely shifted… Im want him out him my mind…. I cant stop thinking of him. I was always a strong independent woman, enjoying my single life after being married for 18 yrs, and then single for 6 years. I am now weak, and sad a hot mess, which I am trying to go back and take control over. I will keep watching your videos. Please continue with your content, as there is nothing out there for us, to help us get out.

Your content is really well done and visually appealing! I noticed that your video views, subscribers and rankings aren’t as high as they could be. I have some strategies that might help. Would you be interested in hearing ?

I think it's dumb to talk to the opposite sex especially if you're close to someone you say you're committed to someone or in a relationship it's just dumb it's just stupid and it's not right I mean if you're that bad you shouldn't have a relationship in the first place

@Fritz722, Exactly true! Well said. Don’t choose Attraction but you certainly chose your response. I hate that people say they “fell in love” . No, they choose to turn away from their spouse to another outside their marriage deliberately Investing in another when should be putting all, building up their own relationship. Loving is a choice.

Steve Harvey said it best: when a man socialises with other male friends he should behave as if his wife is sitting in another part of the same room. That way, he’ll never misbehave or disrespect his wife nor will he be led astray by men without partners.

@marylind1144, great comment! Dead on. If a man can be a sleezeball & screw around…but a woman can have some self respect & not allow herself to be used. Have some boundaries & find men that have borders & honor.

I’ve always been attracted to men who were outgoing also. But I agree, I had to draw the line at disrespect with one in particular. Especially online. It was to the point of embarrassment at times. And made me realize he was too fixated on appearances (fake) and had poor restraint. I realized I couldn’t trust him ultimately, as he was always in denial about the nature of his intent. And I didn’t feel safe.

I'm soooooo in love with him. At times it feels like this is worse than actual physical pain. What's even worse is that I have to work with him on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong I know the saying "don't fu** the company" or "you don't sh** where you eat". I'm fully aware of that. But I've never asked for this. I never planned to fall in love with him. And it got a lot worse once we got physical. In the meantime I tried dating other guys, but it just doesn't feel the same way. I wish it was easier moving on. I also have a better understanding that it's due to my attachment style (avoidant attachment) that I got myself into this situation.

Thanks for all insight you teach

Information on 1:1 consultation

Lots of truth here! It’s usually about “filling in the gaps” or fulfilling a need of some kind. They usually aren’t willing to leave/break up the family but also are missing something substantial in the marriage that they are seeking out elsewhere.

Peanut at 7:12 😂😂❤

Really helpful. Thank You!

This is very useful. I went to 2 therapists who told me to just quit my job. Your point is a great one because w/o exercising that muscle, you can physically be away from that person while they still live in your head. That's not real detachment. Thank you Kate!

this was soooo helpful! thank you for sharing!

I love & appreciate your channel so much! It gave me clarity as to what I needed to do & I feel so free! Blessings to you ❤

Finally, these are the words I've tried to find to explain how this feels. I'm so exhausted from the denial of how this hurts a relationship.

I am a man who I'd 39 years old and have only recently begun setting boundaries with people. When my boundaries are challenged, I too often get into fight-or-flight too soon, and once that happens, all thoughts of what to say, stop dead. I can get some words out during these times, but to little effect, and I usually just withdraw altogether and cut person off.

some say affairs are a symptom

Jhg

Shouldnt have started it in the first place then you wouldnt have the problem.

I really like your openness and I’m happy I found this channel.

Thank you Kate

Kate London:) You are right on the money!! I am in my mid-fifties and I am only starting to set boundaries now, but I notice that once I have to enforce a boundary, I can still feel really uncomfortable at the other person's discomfort or disapproval. I have noticed myself in real time reverting to my fear of not people pleasing which was drummed into me as a child. This is a real thing and I just have to sit in that discomfort and realise that it will not kill me and hopefully it will become easier and easier.:)

How can he end the relationship in a clean, respectful, integral way? What does this look like?

I had an online affair almost a decade ago with a married man. He was the first person in forever I had really connected with and he said things to me that no one else had ever done, such as saying I was a soulmate and that he never known anyone else like me and he also called me sweetheart. It only lasted six weeks and I refused to meet him in person but it scarred me for years. Last week I Googled him and discovered that he got divorced earlier this year and also signed over the deed to the house to his wife's name. He never contacted me which tells me he met someone else willing to do the dirty work and either he got caught or told his wife about it. So all the things he said to me he apparently forgot. He forgot about me and continued to cheat. I feel horribly guilty for the pain I caused his wife at the time and I worry that I inadvertently gave him the confidence to come onto a new woman and that led to the breakup of his marriage.

Call out to Jesus in your darkest moments

For a longer video on this topic please watch ruclips.net/video/32cC1bCgaVU/видео.html

"You once told me that you don't love Anna and that you still love me so much, and always will. Love cannot be put in chains, and it can't be bought by money either. Love needs freedom; only then can it make you happy." This was a response from ONE of my husband's mistresses after he was caught and immediately ended things with her. She had no idea, but when he visited her, he'd sleep with her one night and a sex worker the next. If a man will lie to his wife, he might very well be lying to you too!

I feel sick to my stomach about it lately. It’s like a switch flipped and I can’t rest. I’ve lost weight in a week of thinking about how to end it. Slowly cutting contact. Today I sent a very clear message and my heart is pounding. I have no doubts anymore that it has to end but the pain of doing it is a knife to the chest. I feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed to my core.

Only people with serious self esteem issues are willing to knowingly be the other woman.