I just found this video today and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you created this video for people like me. Its been 2 days since all communication stopped and I feel so empty and alone.
Hi @angiebalzen4414, day 2 is so hard. Sending you much love. I'm glad you have landed here for a little bit of love and cushioning during this painful time. I'm here to support you if you need 🤍
Wow, I hadn’t realized I was unconsciously suppressing the hurt and highlighting or painting over the bad so I can feel safe in the relationship. Also, after 3 yrs in this I think I consciously labeled the relationship as an “affair” once. Otherwise I framed simply called us as a “relationship.” Never have I believed I was his gf or he my bf. We were just in “a relationship”. After your video I discovered the person I was seeing only had 38 days (encounters) out of the 961 days since we first met. This was shocked me seeing the actual numbers and filled me with a lot of shame Allie this man to take 900+ days of my wellbeing. And I allowed it too. I’m ready to move on finally!
Hi Mae Mae, Thankyou for being so vulnerable and sharing your realisations with us. I feel so many women in this situation would also raise their hand and agree with everything you have said. The change of awareness often hurts but it’s what will help shift things 💛💛
I feel sick to my stomach about it lately. It’s like a switch flipped and I can’t rest. I’ve lost weight in a week of thinking about how to end it. Slowly cutting contact. Today I sent a very clear message and my heart is pounding. I have no doubts anymore that it has to end but the pain of doing it is a knife to the chest. I feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed to my core.
Thank you for this. I’m only on day three. Making that list already. I will be revisiting this video. Still at the point of not completely letting go. I needed this today. ❤️ x
DISMANTLE THE FANTASY Those powerful words struck me enough to end a 6 year Affair. Yes, finally!!! Painful very painful, but what a weight off my chest! Its been years n years that i have tried repeatedly, but have failed. He is a Word master and i noe see he is a magnificent Liar. I allowed it because he made me feel good, like a queen. He gave me everything i wanted....material wise that is. It was basically a Hush money along with Sex for Money exchange when i sat there and broke it down. Everything thing you said Resonated! Ive made the lists you suggested and Wow to that too. The clarity that brings is unbelievable! Thank you so much! You have saved me , my heart and my Spirit! Free at last! God bless you!
It's making me physically sick.But I made progress today. No more going to the same gym.(20 days) I swim, bike, and do water aerobics. My friends and family are helping me.
Dear Woman, you are a Godsend. I feel I can finally break free now. In my case, I didn't know he was married because he lied. I only found out after he dumped me, but all the feelings and dynamics you mention here are still pertinent to my situation and the questions you pose to us so we can get real with ourselves are so intuitive and validating. Thank you and God bless you on your journey.
oh @brandnewwashes5409 This is a really beautiful message to receive. I'm so glad you have found value in this. Even though all experiences are different or start different, the feelings underneath are often very similar. 🤍
Sending you love at this time Lucy. If you want more support feel free to check out the membership community where you can connect with others going through all that you are experiencing 💕
@@BAMshazamcan you stop just posting the same old rubbish over n over? It’s the same comment on various threads.No one’s perfect, not even you. We get it, you’ve probably been cheated on, so have I (part of reason I’m here). Stop being so judgemental and go find some empathy.
I wasted a decade, my 50’s on this person…no more! I paused the video and sent a message, it’s dead and I feel icky I was used so long! Feel better now❤️
Thank you Kate for making the video. I’ve listened to it twice today. I decided just a couple of days ago to fully end the affair. So he’s still feeling my mind. I have journalled. I look fwd to him leaving my mind.
I need to move on from this affair. He broke up with me twice. We are both committed. He changed , he doesn’t respect my time, he is just not the same as before. But he kept coming back to my life.
Thank you for this! RUclips is lacking content like this. Keep it going, please! We need videos on how the ex has claimed separation and after dating for some time, they break up with you and go back to the wife. How do you move and recover?
What if his actions were good Kate....what if his actions always told me he cared and loves me but he cannot commit to saying it and also can't commit to leaving his wife and family...but his investment towards me in time and actions and gifts and care are there...? What then?
Sounds exactly like " my married boyfriend " ....they may be the same guy...lol! Seriously, dump him...he wants his cake and to eat it too. My ex BF basically had two homes, 2 families along with our dog. He was amazing other than he lived 2 lived bc I allowed it. No more. I finally decided to go through the pain and mourn this fantasy world. I pray you can too. Good luck !
I think most situations are this way 😢…..that’s why they are so hard to leave. It’s a dead-end nonetheless…..he’ll never leave her, regardless of the reason. Even if he’s been amazing and generous, loving and “committed”, the fact remains that you’ll never be his one and only.
Thank you Kate. I had pulled back from my affair relationship because it was so painful and I was feeling guilt. It has gone on for almost eight years. I didn't initially initiate the intimate relationship. I couldn't make myself get out. It felt like I would die. I'm 55 and he is 57 (almost 58). He came to an event that I was performing in yesterday, to tell me that he was divorcing his wife and for the last three weeks that he and his employee that just turned 25 have are pursuing a relationship. He an I were intimate on the fourth of July and a week later he is moving forward in a relationship with a girl that is about 33 years younger than him and has a four year old child. Even though I have been trying to pull back out of the affair, this hurts a lot. I emotionally supported him for years. I did work for his company without pay when he couldn't afford to pay someone. I helped him build the company that he has now and put my heart into. Part of me thinks that maybe I deserved it all for participating in what I have participated in. Thank you for being there Kate and giving the advice that you do. It's been really painful and lonely. Your videos have helped.
He left me after all the promises he made for 4 years. without any clear answers. this is so painful. it’s been 7 mos since he left but i still don’t feel better 😭😭😭
Thank you very much 🙏 Kate..This is very reliving and you have given wonderful insight here. Seems very convincing talk to help someone who wants to move on from this situation..I am very glad I found your channel.
I cant but think that this some sort of karma. This is probably how the wife and children felt bcuz of your selfishness. While i hate to see people suffering. In a way its kind of like u kinda had that coming unlike the wife and kids who would likely been in your shoes had he chosen you....possibly with the added sting of financial instability and actually having to rebuild their lives. But just like they would eventally have had to get over it.... This too shall pass.
I’m so disgusted with myself. I trusted him and what he said. I haven’t dated in 6years bc of this. I don’t understand how I could be this flipping dumb. I’m so ashamed. And of course I’m the idiot who is mad bc he hasn’t text. Or called. I need to move on. My son’s game is in 45 mins and my eyes are so swollen bc of crying like a child.
I'm currently wanting end it. Just getting the courage to tell him. I know i don't need him. I'm already feeling heartbreak because i come second. We work together which honestly doesn't bother me. I don't want to be nasty but i have no way to leave a door a jar. I know it's going to hurt more when i do this! Also i want his partner to know but anonymously so she knows the truth. I don't want to be with him because i know he would cheat on me also & i won't do that to myself. Please help me 😢😢😢
My husband had an affair too and when I read the text messages between him and the other woman I saw it was him who love bombed her and persued her. In my case I don't blame the other woman. My husband is the one who did the betraying and broke our vows. He acted like a lovesick little boy to this woman.
i am in love with a married man and i really want a break up but i am not just comfortable because his really giving me reasons not to leave him, and this is really killing me dear and do not no want to do i just really want to leave him alone
@@maelenapalustre1459 Agreed. He knows exactly what he is doing. She doesn't know where it's headed (nowhere). She keeps thinking he is her only option.
![[SFM] Risky Recital](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RzNkY1_Nk3o/mqdefault.jpg)
I just found this video today and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you created this video for people like me. Its been 2 days since all communication stopped and I feel so empty and alone.
Hi @angiebalzen4414, day 2 is so hard. Sending you much love. I'm glad you have landed here for a little bit of love and cushioning during this painful time. I'm here to support you if you need 🤍
Wow, I hadn’t realized I was unconsciously suppressing the hurt and highlighting or painting over the bad so I can feel safe in the relationship. Also, after 3 yrs in this I think I consciously labeled the relationship as an “affair” once. Otherwise I framed simply called us as a “relationship.” Never have I believed I was his gf or he my bf. We were just in “a relationship”. After your video I discovered the person I was seeing only had 38 days (encounters) out of the 961 days since we first met. This was shocked me seeing the actual numbers and filled me with a lot of shame Allie this man to take 900+ days of my wellbeing. And I allowed it too. I’m ready to move on finally!
Hi Mae Mae, Thankyou for being so vulnerable and sharing your realisations with us. I feel so many women in this situation would also raise their hand and agree with everything you have said. The change of awareness often hurts but it’s what will help shift things 💛💛
Love bombing, lies, breadcrumbs - all of it. I was such a fool!!!!!!
I cry at least once a day over trying to move on. I said nothing to him I’m just trying to move forward
Same here. It feels like I'm being completely consumed 😢 I totally understand.
It's like detoxing.
Me too... I'm so broken . The brokenness is consuming my thoughts and energy
I feel sick to my stomach about it lately. It’s like a switch flipped and I can’t rest. I’ve lost weight in a week of thinking about how to end it. Slowly cutting contact. Today I sent a very clear message and my heart is pounding. I have no doubts anymore that it has to end but the pain of doing it is a knife to the chest. I feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed to my core.
Thank you for this. I’m only on day three. Making that list already. I will be revisiting this video. Still at the point of not completely letting go. I needed this today. ❤️ x
DISMANTLE THE FANTASY
Those powerful words struck me enough to end a 6 year Affair. Yes, finally!!! Painful very painful, but what a weight off my chest!
Its been years n years that i have tried repeatedly, but have failed. He is a Word master and i noe see he is a magnificent Liar. I allowed it because he made me feel good, like a queen. He gave me everything i wanted....material wise that is. It was basically a Hush money along with Sex for Money exchange when i sat there and broke it down.
Everything thing you said Resonated! Ive made the lists you suggested and Wow to that too. The clarity that brings is unbelievable!
Thank you so much! You have saved me , my heart and my Spirit! Free at last!
God bless you!
Wow. 6 years!! I can’t imagine the pain. How do you feel now? I just got dumped yesterday. And it was about 2 years.
It's making me physically sick.But I made progress today. No more going to the same gym.(20 days)
I swim, bike, and do water aerobics.
My friends and family are helping me.
Big steps, well done Palapala ✨
Dear Woman, you are a Godsend. I feel I can finally break free now. In my case, I didn't know he was married because he lied. I only found out after he dumped me, but all the feelings and dynamics you mention here are still pertinent to my situation and the questions you pose to us so we can get real with ourselves are so intuitive and validating. Thank you and God bless you on your journey.
oh @brandnewwashes5409 This is a really beautiful message to receive. I'm so glad you have found value in this. Even though all experiences are different or start different, the feelings underneath are often very similar. 🤍
This is like a death to me
Thank you Kate. This is exactly what I need to hear. I have been feeling miserable. What you said helps me to heal.
I'm so glad to hear you have found this valuable Singingbird1115💕
A'm really in deep pain right now. I don't completely know how i can handle it. I feel like exploding from inside.
Sending you love at this time Lucy. If you want more support feel free to check out the membership community where you can connect with others going through all that you are experiencing 💕
Im on the same boat right now and it hurts terribly. Im so heart broken and empty. 😢
@@BAMshazamcan you stop just posting the same old rubbish over n over? It’s the same comment on various threads.No one’s perfect, not even you. We get it, you’ve probably been cheated on, so have I (part of reason I’m here). Stop being so judgemental and go find some empathy.
@@Bethwoo67 rubbish? Don’t assume. F off
I wasted a decade, my 50’s on this person…no more! I paused the video and sent a message, it’s dead and I feel icky I was used so long! Feel better now❤️
That was courageous! How is it going?
Thank you Kate for making the video. I’ve listened to it twice today. I decided just a couple of days ago to fully end the affair. So he’s still feeling my mind. I have journalled. I look fwd to him leaving my mind.
Everything you say makes me laugh out loud because it's so validating!! You're so awesome Kate!
I'm glad to hear you feel understood Calvin! Thanks for sharing how you feel 💕
I need to move on from this affair. He broke up with me twice. We are both committed. He changed , he doesn’t respect my time, he is just not the same as before. But he kept coming back to my life.
Thank you for this! RUclips is lacking content like this. Keep it going, please!
We need videos on how the ex has claimed separation and after dating for some time, they break up with you and go back to the wife.
How do you move and recover?
What if his actions were good Kate....what if his actions always told me he cared and loves me but he cannot commit to saying it and also can't commit to leaving his wife and family...but his investment towards me in time and actions and gifts and care are there...? What then?
Sounds exactly like " my married boyfriend " ....they may be the same guy...lol! Seriously, dump him...he wants his cake and to eat it too. My ex BF basically had two homes, 2 families along with our dog. He was amazing other than he lived 2 lived bc I allowed it. No more. I finally decided to go through the pain and mourn this fantasy world. I pray you can too. Good luck !
I think most situations are this way 😢…..that’s why they are so hard to leave. It’s a dead-end nonetheless…..he’ll never leave her, regardless of the reason. Even if he’s been amazing and generous, loving and “committed”, the fact remains that you’ll never be his one and only.
To quote Dr Phil, if he’ll do it with you he’ll do it to you. Even if you “win” you lose. He’s a liar and a cheat.
Thank you Kate. I had pulled back from my affair relationship because it was so painful and I was feeling guilt. It has gone on for almost eight years. I didn't initially initiate the intimate relationship. I couldn't make myself get out. It felt like I would die. I'm 55 and he is 57 (almost 58). He came to an event that I was performing in yesterday, to tell me that he was divorcing his wife and for the last three weeks that he and his employee that just turned 25 have are pursuing a relationship. He an I were intimate on the fourth of July and a week later he is moving forward in a relationship with a girl that is about 33 years younger than him and has a four year old child. Even though I have been trying to pull back out of the affair, this hurts a lot. I emotionally supported him for years. I did work for his company without pay when he couldn't afford to pay someone. I helped him build the company that he has now and put my heart into. Part of me thinks that maybe I deserved it all for participating in what I have participated in.
Thank you for being there Kate and giving the advice that you do. It's been really painful and lonely. Your videos have helped.
He left me after all the promises he made for 4 years. without any clear answers. this is so painful. it’s been 7 mos since he left but i still don’t feel better 😭😭😭
How are you feeling now,? Where are you in your journey?
Thank you very much 🙏 Kate..This is very reliving and you have given wonderful insight here. Seems very convincing talk to help someone who wants to move on from this situation..I am very glad I found your channel.
Hi Krishna, I'm glad to hear you find it of value. Welcome to this support community 💕
Your energy is fantastic!!!! Makes me hopeful 😊😊😊
Thankyou Ekaths1 such a beautiful message to receive 💛
I trying my hardest to move on from my marstke me going off married man learnt not be hiparit and learn people not to do this
Great eye opening video, ty❤️
I cant but think that this some sort of karma. This is probably how the wife and children felt bcuz of your selfishness.
While i hate to see people suffering. In a way its kind of like u kinda had that coming unlike the wife and kids who would likely been in your shoes had he chosen you....possibly with the added sting of financial instability and actually having to rebuild their lives.
But just like they would eventally have had to get over it....
This too shall pass.
Very powerful thank you ❤
Your very welcome Kristen ❤️
Your channel is fantastic❤
Thanks Jamie Leigh!
I’m so disgusted with myself. I trusted him and what he said. I haven’t dated in 6years bc of this. I don’t understand how I could be this flipping dumb. I’m so ashamed. And of course I’m the idiot who is mad bc he hasn’t text. Or called. I need to move on. My son’s game is in 45 mins and my eyes are so swollen bc of crying like a child.
I totally get you, Ive been through it and it hurts so bad. Its so hard to let go even if you know you shouldnt keep going.
It’s sucks feeling 😢😢
I'm currently wanting end it. Just getting the courage to tell him. I know i don't need him. I'm already feeling heartbreak because i come second. We work together which honestly doesn't bother me. I don't want to be nasty but i have no way to leave a door a jar. I know it's going to hurt more when i do this! Also i want his partner to know but anonymously so she knows the truth. I don't want to be with him because i know he would cheat on me also & i won't do that to myself. Please help me 😢😢😢
I hope you broke it off. You can do it.
He just ignoring me and done we were ok 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
How about don’t sleep with married people 😡😡😡 as a betrayed wife I have no sympathy for the AP … a married person should never be an option
But you have sympathy for the cheating husband? Good for you!
Ive been on both sides and lost in both. 💔
Maybe you should watch videos specific to the victims of affairs.
My husband had an affair too and when I read the text messages between him and the other woman I saw it was him who love bombed her and persued her. In my case I don't blame the other woman. My husband is the one who did the betraying and broke our vows. He acted like a lovesick little boy to this woman.
The AP is often a wounded single person with low self esteem who falls in love. Be more angry with the cheating spouse who made the commitment.
i am in love with a married man and i really want a break up but i am not just comfortable because his really giving me reasons not to leave him, and this is really killing me dear and do not no want to do i just really want to leave him alone
He's not leaving his wife. You are free to meet someone who is available. Best wishes. ❤
He is stable he was married had kids and u are unstable and confuse
@@maelenapalustre1459 Agreed. He knows exactly what he is doing. She doesn't know where it's headed (nowhere). She keeps thinking he is her only option.
😢
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