Think You're Ready to Meet "The One"? Watch This First...
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
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There’s an ongoing debate when it comes to meeting “The One.” Which camp do you fall into?
1) Is it all about meeting the right person-someone amazing who will remove any lingering doubts and inspire you to get serious?
2) Or is it less about “The One” and more about “The Timing”-meeting a compatible person at the right time in your life?
This week, I get to the heart of the issue with 7 tips that may change your perspective on dating and relationships.
P.S. I’d love it if you left me a note letting me know which tip gave you the biggest “aha” moment. I really enjoy reading your comments each week.
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"elevates our best, soothes our worst." - amazing truth!
how are you doing Leanne
For a looong time I THOUGHT i was ready but in fact, there was a lot of things I still had to work through and was not ready for a relationship. I was more obsessed with the idea of a relationship and was falling "in love" with people way too quickly. I was falling in love with the idea of the person. Now I can say I am truly at a point where I am truly ready for a relationship. I no longer fall in love with everyone person I meet and I understand what values I am looking for
Hi Sam! I think i'm on that phase that i think i'm ready but just got my heart broke again. Honestly, how do I get there? Thank you for sharing 😊
@@leanet22 Hi Leandra!! This sounds cheesy but what really helped me was journaling and being in touch with my feelings/ emotions. I used to be the type of person who would on my emotions and react poorly, but I would not fully process it.
This includes processing heart break. I had to rebuild myself and learn who I was without having someone else in my life. Basically, the thing where people say you have to be whole on your own is so true. I wrote down values, red flags, and deal breakers I had from past relationships and it made it easier to see them whenever I met someone new.
I basically learned what I would and would not tolerate. If someone wasn't showing the same amount of interest in me, I would move on. Little things like that helped!
@@SamElle What was the urgent need to have someone in your life at all times for, if you don't mind the question? 😄
@@Mgr1st it wasn’t at all times! It comes and goes in waves for me. I think there’s more pressure now as I get older (from my parents) and from seeing friends around me getting engaged or married!
@@SamElle I see. Makes perfect sense with outside pressures being a strong factor. Thanks for sharing. 🙌🏻
It’s a beautiful thing when phrases in a relationship change from “I’m seeing someone” or “we are seeing each other” to “I see you”.
That's why I love Avatar... "I see you" - maybe it's the new ILY✨
A lot of people are going around broken. Not fixing. Not healing. Not ready, and expecting the other person to be perfect and fix them
That was me, but after having a nervous breakdown and the consequent digging into lack of self esteem, I know we need to address this in young people at high school age. So much wasted potential of young people due to highly dysfunctional parents. What sucks is that once you fix yourself you don't want romance!
Healthy self = Heal Thy Self
That is very true. A person who doesn't want to be alone will find someone who also feels alone.
@@graysparrow1226 🤯 Damn
“Dating is like cooking a meal that turns into a relationship.” SO true. Be truly kind and loving and accepting all along the way. 💓
nicely put, thank you. how are you doing today
Bringing out the best in each other as equals with no pedestal and projection is the most amazing and beautiful experience : ))
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Wow, beautifully said
I’ve heard this in a movie once and i feel it really opened my eyes on what love is a little bit. It went like this.. ”I like you because, but i love you despite”. Not everybody is perfect but when you truly love a person, you’re willing to overlook all the bad qualities and focus on the amazing ones
I don't think people have good and bad qualities. Some are just more compatible than others
@@snoozyq9576 Yes, but no one will be fully perfect. And you shouldn't look for one that is, either.
It's good to find someone that makes you fall in love with them more every day, and someone that pisses you off like no other, yet you still fall for them more for it. But it is also down to compatibility, yes. It's hard to explain better then that i think
Its about elevating the good and soothing and healing is possible, thr bad, and the willingness for this from both sides
Matthew, your parents did a great job with both your brother and you. They taught you about real bonds. I think cinema has harmed us a lot, we are the first generation with a massive access to media and we are all confused and looking for new heroes and new gods as if we were a new species of human when we are as imperfect and love- seeking (or even more) as our ancestors. Wish you the best from southern Spain.
I agree too much fake unrealistic fantasy imagery......that suck us into thinking 'the grass is greener elsewhere'🧚♀️
romantic movies are worst influencers.....
We grew up watching love ending at a sunset hill. But now we have yt, podcast,books etc to be more aware of everything and anything that we choose to look for especially when it comes to love and finding a partner.
Try not watching any television at all it’s even more lonely. On my days off all I usually do is just read the Bible and today I’m going on a date but just don’t even want to go. I’m just going through a stage of sadness and loneliness for some reason because I had to change my life drastically and it’s painful.🤷♀️
High schools should have people like Matt Hussey visit and give advice to young minds to help them make better choices🧚♀️
Could not agree with you more! I wish I had him when I was back in high school. We are taught so many 'Subjects', but not important LIFE subjects.
@@shivanthikulasingham6131 Yeah totally...I home school my daughter and we chat alot about kindness, also not staying friends with people if they bully...even early PDHPE stuff....have encouraged both my girls to talk to me about anything... and they do....but if Matt Hussey hero's did talk at high schools it would inspire teens to respect themselves and others. Sexual stuff seems to be starting earlier than ever...very scary🧚♀️
British boys schools teach emotional intelligence, how to read people and diplomacy from a young age. Should be the standard in early childhood education. Mr. Hussey is interesting, but I don’t agree with half of what he says 😊
@@PtolemyXVII hello, that's really good that over there Brittish boys get taught diplomacy......I live in Australia and feel it's a bit lacking......and nothing in schools teaches them about what a healthy relationship is......so far I like what Mr Hussey says......and I now and then may have a different feelings about what he says from my personal experiences but I generally agree with what he says...... love your honesty and it's a good trait to have🧚♀️
They tried but I never wanted to listen lol. That's the problem with teens they sometimes wanna find out the hard way
My ex fell "in love" with just about everyone he dated for more than a month. This was a huge red flag for me. I was a year out of a divorce when we met. We got along great, had many of the same interests but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I really could be any 50 something, good looking female in good shape. I think he had abandonment issues and wanted anyone to commit to him.
I had my own issues of emotional and physical neglect during my 28 year marriage. This is what I received and stayed for during the new relationship. However, I couldn't gamble with my future and take on the other red flags which slowly emerged.
For the past two years I find that I am at peace with where I am in my life. I love my peaceful life and don't see me inviting chaos into it ever again.
my narcissist ex ...everyone was his "soulmate" and for the stupidest of reasons 😂stupid!
That part when you say " recognize the best and elevate it whilst recognizing the worst and helping healing it.. as we also expect it towadrs ourselves".. IS BEAUTIFUL. Thank you Matt
After being single for four years and rediscovering myself I felt hesitant, but ready. I met someone online who lives 3,000 miles away. Subconsciously I probably chose him on purpose because he was "safe " As it turns out, he is a beautiful soul; kind, and emotionally healthy, and we're very compatible in the most important ways.
We're able to travel back and forth to see each other and are getting to know each other and developing a wonderful relationship by communicating every day in between visits.
I feel that he sees me, and brings out the best in me - and I want to do the same for him because he's such a good person. 😊 Thanks Matthew for your insight!!
same .
When compatibility sparks chemistry, we're emotionally ready for a relationship. We need to get beyond our insecurities, meet our own (subconscious) needs as much as possible, communicate openly and honestly with compassion, and accept each other as human beings. A lot of people struggle to take accountability and that's why it "feels" difficult, complicated, and frustrating.
I admire your sense of reasoning :) hello Deanna, Im Jeffery, will love to know you more
@@colainebradly786 thanks, that's kind of you. Unfortunately, I have an ex who creates fake social media accounts to stalk me, so I've made it a habit not to chat privately with anyone online who I don't know personally. All the best.
@@colainebradly786 I understand your point, but his perceptions aren't of consequence to me. I don't care if he thinks he's winning. There are plenty of opportunities to meet and connect with people offline in person where I live so I don't view foregoing online encounters as anything I'm missing out on. As an example, I rarely drink alcohol so I'm not likely to meet someone at a bar either and I don't see that as a missed opportunity to meet someone. If I were living in an isolated area, I might feel encumbered by his behavior, but that's not the case. I just believe people deserve an honest response for why I don't engage in private conversations with people I don't know online. The only exception to that rule is if someone posts videos of themselves on their social media because I can verify that it's not him, but even then, I'm not a fan of long distance romantic relationships so it's not likely to get beyond a limited friendship.
Matt, in answer to your question: I used to fall in love with people who gave me a bit of their attention way too quickly and get disappointed time after time, because they either rejected me or were unavailable. I guess I wanted a relationship too much, but wasnt actually ready for one. It was like a vicious cycle, but I made my way out of it in the end :)
How did you make your way out. That's exactly what I'm going Through...
@@evelynmontero4178 I had that problem because desired a relationship, and I desired a relationship because I wanted to have a person with whom I could be very close. My close friends live in different cities and I didnt have any warmness or any particular connection with my family, I guess I was very lonely. That made me fall in love with guys before they showed me their real face or expressed commitment. I guess you need to analyse what makes you fall in love too quickly, so that you can look for it elsewhere other than in relationships.
After my recent break up I actually realized exactly what you said here, I realized that in my past relationships I just didn't want to be lonely and I liked the idea of being in a relationship and that was the reason for me to get in those relationships in the first place. But now after I see that and I'm going through healing myself I know that I would never do that again, I want to get into a relationship only if it feels true for me, if the person really interests me and doesn't feel fake or too forced to be with.
These are valid points but after a narcissistic/ abusive relationship you have to be very cautious about who you let in your life. It is about defining your values and boundaries. I do not think that all bad qualities should be tolerated.
Becoming more self-aware about who I’m inside out was my best lesson to learn in my journey of self-love. I’m dating myself again after coming out of a painful marriage of 15yrs.The day i feel that I have fully invested in becoming the better version of myself, I think then I will be close to being ready.
After my divorce I turned my back to the world.... But I think am finally ready for a serious relationship... 🤗
"someone who elevates our best and soothes our worst". BAM! Love this!
I don't usually comment at all but this is one of the best videos ever made on the subject thus far. Other guys need to see this, especially.
I used to be ready a couple of times. At 38 I'm not and I'm sure it will last a while, still couldn't be more comfortable with that. Matthew, you're a treasure!
Wow. This video really opened my eyes, clearly showed that there is a difference in wanting to not be lonely vs wanting a relationship. Makes me realize I need to think more about myself. Truly an excellent message and perfectly explained. I will be watching this one a few more times. Thanks Matt.
how has your day been Carolyn
@@colainebradly786 pretty good. You?
@@caoilin3 im good, thank you for your response. I will very well like to know you more. Im single and live in Houston Texas. how about you, where about are you from
This video answered a few soul searching questions of mine.
My relationship came to an end in February for quite a few reasons, most of which were out of my control thanks to covid.
When the relationship ended most of the people around me said “oh don’t worry, she was punching way above her weight, you were way too good for her”
But I never seen that, I only seen what made her beautiful in my eyes and never her faults in other peoples eyes and I loved her without question.
So yes I am ready.
Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands emotions..
Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands relationships..
Matthew Hussey..you are the one..who deserves all the happiness and love..
the differenciation between be ready for a relationship and be ready not to be alone is very subtile. amazing Matthew
I think we meet the right person when we are happy within ourselves and have evolved from our experiences. And of course timing because you both have to be willing to invest in each other. You should invest in someone who invests in you.
"To love is not about merging. It is a noble calling for the individual to ripen, to differentiate, to become a world in oneself in response to another. It is a great, immodest call that singles out a person and summons them beyond all boundaries. Only in this sense may we use the love that has been given us. This is humanity’s task, for which we are still barely ready."
- Rainer Maria Rilke -
...Elevates our best, soothes our worst." ahh I felt such relief to hear you say this! I have just recently started practicing this with myself :)
This is like watching an expert on masterclass. I like the direction your new editing is going
Good points raised by the video. Having said that, sometimes you don’t know what you are truly looking for until you experience what you are not.
Not gonna lie, I couldn't concentrate a whole lot looking at his arms 🙈🤣
Wasn't looking at his arms but after reading this it was hard to stop 😂
I went on my first date and it went so well. I loved the way he made me feel. He looked older than photos, we have connections all ready. We spoke and texted for about two months before. I loved his sensitive warmth. He said he could be a support to me and I felt he could. Going well so far. I am willing to be his support too. I believe if you see the guy as a friend too then that's where " magic" begins
I think getting to know a person is important bcuz so many times we over look that or expect that to naturally happen once the relationship is developed and thats backwards and in my opinion getting to know the person allows u to see if that's some one you're really interested in taking things to the next level
I feel all warm and cozy just reading this. Good luck Leila.
Update? 😊
@@ForevAzz didn't work out with that one. But I've been with a Romanian man for four months and I'm in love for the first time ever because it's reciprocated
@@leilachristie1861 aww glad to hear! And thanks for the update ☺️
This video was definitely the wake-up call I needed to reflect deeper on what it means to be ready for a relationship - thank you Matthew.
This is brutal. Thank you. Your words are a mirror of all the times
I absolutely love the way you broke this down. I downloaded this video so I can watch it more times. Thanks Matt 🤗
Yep totally agree with timing . If it’s not the right time then your perception of who the right person actually is, or even the qualities you seek- could be majorly skewed.
Aaaaabsolutely correct... no time no space and yet they all hang around on these apps claiming they want to find someone to go the distance with 🤷♀️
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Thank you for making this video. It’s so gave me clarity on myself and others in my life. Most importantly stressing that relationships take time. It’s what I’ve been saying for quite some time. Seems like everyone is always in a big hurry however I always want to take time to get to know someone, learning about them - hearing their stories. Thank you for not making me feel like the odd man out or woman. Big hugs to you!!
I've been on a healing journey since 5 years ago and You Tube videos helped me a lot! I'm now entering a time where I'm feeling a lot more ready for a healthy relationship and am attracted to healthier people. This video was so so eye opening and comforting! I am so surprised that I didn't watch his videos earlier but Maybe I wasn't ready yet. Now I am and I'm so grateful!! Thank you Matthew
This is a beautiful video.. 😭
I’m literally crying.
So very insightful about our own readiness, and the maturity to meet people with the right approach.
Self love without self awareness is just obnoxious.
Beautifully put, this is one of the best examples of a reality check. I hope one day to meet someone who would truly understand the content you have just presented.
Oh I loved this video...”elevates our best and soothes our worst” 🥰 quote of the year...thanks Matthew
hey Michelle, how are you doing
You such an amazing speaker. Delivered the message in a such an engaging and vivid way. Thank you.
So glad for your stance on this Matthew - been single for awhile now, but still don’t feel ready to be in a relationship. Could have listened to so much more than 16 minutes of this. Definitely wisdom for when I feel lonely & want someone there!
This was JUST what I needed to here. THANK YOU. Best video I have seen in a while.
Loved the video Matt. In terms of topic+introspection it was the best one so far!
Thank you so much for this wise message ! I think I just realized I'm not ready for a real relationship despite what I used to say to others and to myself
You have been working out Matthew, keep up the good work. Behaviors are important.
Watching this I just realized that I am still guilty of projecting. That's why I watch these videos. I have learned so much about myself as it relates to dating.
Very insightful video! I can see myself coming back again and again to watch this.
Definitely needed to hear this. Definitely sending this to my sister too
I love the purpose of this video. I have met some great people on online dating. However, whenever the talking starts getting old, I'll ask them out for an actual date and get ghosted or I'll lead them to ask for the date and they never do. Love all of your messages and your insights into people and relationships.
This has been my favorite video you have done so far. Thank you.
This resonates with me on every single level. Thank you!
You are so right, we think we are ready but then we don't act ready, I can say I'm like that sometimes.. I love all the thoughts you've put on this video, it has made me reflect on myself 💗
Wow. I really needed to hear all of that! Thank you Matthew
Thank you so much, Matt. You, your brother and the entire team, are always here for us, delivering, giving your best to help our souls. Thank you for not giving up on us. ❤️
how arte you doing today, your photo is a bit blurred, wish i could see you clearly
Socionic Relations of Duality elevates our best and soothes our worst. I'm an EII and I just met my LSE last month. 💕💕
Totally true. I’m living in London and it’s exactly like this. Real relationship is building on a basis of love reciprocity, not to fill a void or for functional reasons like sharing bills and social status. I believe in true love! True love in a real connection love ourselves and love the other as he really is with all package of qualities and imperfections.
Gratitude Matthew very beautiful your video 💕💕💕
Great break down. Wow. You just have a way of putting words into how I feel. Thank you.
This has been one of most insightful videos I have ever watched from you. Perhaps I needed to hear some honest truth.
I am unbelievably grateful!
As always, see you in the next video, Matt
Oh Lord. Looking at the best of someone. I just realize how hypercritical I was about my ex. He was to me too, but I can’t say I always saw the best in him.
Thanks for sharing this insight Matthew. Very helpful. I cannot wait for the retreat in September!!!
This is the best video I have seen from you yet! Many other great ones but this one just resonated so deeply. Chapter 3 especially.
Honestly what a brilliant video. Struggling through some things/ self reflecting to become a better me and there's definitely things I need to work on.
Oh this was deep Matt. I thought you were speaking to me. Thanks for making this video. Every word made sense
Mathew i used to know you since i was 12 cause i used to watch u on MTV back then my English was not there since i am arab and after i learnt it 7years ago I started watching your RUclips video you have no idea how much confidence you have me and people think i am way older than my age because of my awareness and my ethics in my relationships i love youu
I really appreciate your videos. I recently am going through a break up and you’ve been helping me so much!
OMG Matthew and Team; you never fail to deliver something potent and insightful!!! Thank you for this video, and everything you do!
Great one Matthew, thank you very much! I have the feeling this video summarize a lot of your current interrogations and conclusions. That is very helpful to understand your global perspective. Thank you very much for your work.
The exact question on timing n relationship was answered here. Only the irony remains that we fall for the "projection" for new Charming suitors and end up being sad ourselves when the screen breaks. As far as m concerned I hv full faith I will get my man but focussing on finding myself first ❤️
Very insightful Matthew thank you! I agree with this revelation.. especially in readiness. As much as I feel ready and much loneliness here, I am still working through a touch of trust issues. I thought I overcame them with time. I need to put more faith in a new person as they are a clean slate to draw with! Although, I am a believer of love can happen regardless of obstacles like distance. It just requires more effort. Kind of like an athlete trying to run a local race or sport vs training for the Olympics! Go for the gold!!! 🎶🏃♀️🏆🥇❤👑
Wow, that was moving and so true !!! Thanks Matthew
This one was sooo good Matt. Thank you for this. Really made me think.
Perfectly said. Thank you!
Hi Matthew. Watching ur video makes feel alive, thanks for ur advice
This is one of the best videos you’ve done, and I’ve watched many
This was my favorite video of this channel
This was so enlightening and a great perspective 🙏🏻
You’re so right
Relationship doesn’t happen overnight and is not deliveroo 😊
I just realized I WASN’T ready before. Something happened and now I am 🤗
You are amazing, exactly on point. Great way of telling the truth
I loved it Matt! Thank you🙏💜💫!
That video showed up to me.. I don’t know why (I live in another corner of the world), but after watching it, I realised how much I needed to listen those things.
Wow! Awesome. Love this ❤. Thank you Matthew!
You hit soo many buttons...
Absolutely on point... just love you...
I subscribed after first 5 min. I was listening to you.
You are talking from the bottom of my heart.
I was not ready for a new relationship and thought a new one helps me with that.
Mistake.But he liked me so much he did not give up and asked to give it a try.We had a break which. helped me to understand what I really want.Then I went back to him,this time asking him to give us a chance.He agreed.
We both think that we were really good match from the beginning.Thank you for your helping words- relationship is a process.
The work of two loving,willing people.
I wish you also a lot of love.
This was your best video so far. Excellent, thought provoking questions.
hey beautiful
Such a wonderful message!
Wise words for such a young man.
i luv this! romance, to me anyway, is something shared, like the beauty found in fantasy.... but in nature's flow. romance is moments shared in feeling! people are actually so much more than that!!
You are so right, we all come with flaws none of us are perfect. But we must know what we are realistically looking for in a person if we keep trying to find mr. Right we will be looking for a long time and be very disappointed. When I say Mr Right am talking about the perfect person. Not going to happen.. I wrote down everything I wanted that was realistically what I wanted.. It took 2 years, but I got there. He's not perfect, but he gives me the love and support I needed. So thankful that he came along. Thank you for all your videos they helped me many times..
That supply chain approach for all that process on ego through until one gets to be with The One was just brilliant and didactic. The fast-food-like dating that modernity serves us as a solution to some part of that chain, incredible! Always no waste of time watching your videos, Matthew, my man. And again, Gracias!
Ps: "Time spent with each other, time invested, a little sacrifice, a little skin in the game...that's often the thing people aren't willing to do these days" - Nailed it!
this video is great. thank you for your insights Matthew
ALL POINTS RESONATE WITH ME. I love this video!!!
Well done Matt. Keep on digging in search of more humain, realistic, profound and ... well, down to earth, realistic long term perspectives and logic. Hard to achieve, hard to get to the place you are inviting us to step up to... But a must-do work... !! Khmmm.... Thanks !! Hugs, Mila.
This video really resonated with me. Thank you Matthew ❤
This video is an eye-opener for me thank you so much Matthew 🥰