For a looong time I THOUGHT i was ready but in fact, there was a lot of things I still had to work through and was not ready for a relationship. I was more obsessed with the idea of a relationship and was falling "in love" with people way too quickly. I was falling in love with the idea of the person. Now I can say I am truly at a point where I am truly ready for a relationship. I no longer fall in love with everyone person I meet and I understand what values I am looking for
@@leanet22 Hi Leandra!! This sounds cheesy but what really helped me was journaling and being in touch with my feelings/ emotions. I used to be the type of person who would on my emotions and react poorly, but I would not fully process it. This includes processing heart break. I had to rebuild myself and learn who I was without having someone else in my life. Basically, the thing where people say you have to be whole on your own is so true. I wrote down values, red flags, and deal breakers I had from past relationships and it made it easier to see them whenever I met someone new. I basically learned what I would and would not tolerate. If someone wasn't showing the same amount of interest in me, I would move on. Little things like that helped!
@@Mgrtimesthree it wasn’t at all times! It comes and goes in waves for me. I think there’s more pressure now as I get older (from my parents) and from seeing friends around me getting engaged or married!
That was me, but after having a nervous breakdown and the consequent digging into lack of self esteem, I know we need to address this in young people at high school age. So much wasted potential of young people due to highly dysfunctional parents. What sucks is that once you fix yourself you don't want romance!
I’ve heard this in a movie once and i feel it really opened my eyes on what love is a little bit. It went like this.. ”I like you because, but i love you despite”. Not everybody is perfect but when you truly love a person, you’re willing to overlook all the bad qualities and focus on the amazing ones
@@snoozyq9576 Yes, but no one will be fully perfect. And you shouldn't look for one that is, either. It's good to find someone that makes you fall in love with them more every day, and someone that pisses you off like no other, yet you still fall for them more for it. But it is also down to compatibility, yes. It's hard to explain better then that i think
Matthew, your parents did a great job with both your brother and you. They taught you about real bonds. I think cinema has harmed us a lot, we are the first generation with a massive access to media and we are all confused and looking for new heroes and new gods as if we were a new species of human when we are as imperfect and love- seeking (or even more) as our ancestors. Wish you the best from southern Spain.
We grew up watching love ending at a sunset hill. But now we have yt, podcast,books etc to be more aware of everything and anything that we choose to look for especially when it comes to love and finding a partner.
Try not watching any television at all it’s even more lonely. On my days off all I usually do is just read the Bible and today I’m going on a date but just don’t even want to go. I’m just going through a stage of sadness and loneliness for some reason because I had to change my life drastically and it’s painful.🤷♀️
Matt, in answer to your question: I used to fall in love with people who gave me a bit of their attention way too quickly and get disappointed time after time, because they either rejected me or were unavailable. I guess I wanted a relationship too much, but wasnt actually ready for one. It was like a vicious cycle, but I made my way out of it in the end :)
@@evelynmontero4178 I had that problem because desired a relationship, and I desired a relationship because I wanted to have a person with whom I could be very close. My close friends live in different cities and I didnt have any warmness or any particular connection with my family, I guess I was very lonely. That made me fall in love with guys before they showed me their real face or expressed commitment. I guess you need to analyse what makes you fall in love too quickly, so that you can look for it elsewhere other than in relationships.
When compatibility sparks chemistry, we're emotionally ready for a relationship. We need to get beyond our insecurities, meet our own (subconscious) needs as much as possible, communicate openly and honestly with compassion, and accept each other as human beings. A lot of people struggle to take accountability and that's why it "feels" difficult, complicated, and frustrating.
@@colainebradly786 thanks, that's kind of you. Unfortunately, I have an ex who creates fake social media accounts to stalk me, so I've made it a habit not to chat privately with anyone online who I don't know personally. All the best.
@@colainebradly786 I understand your point, but his perceptions aren't of consequence to me. I don't care if he thinks he's winning. There are plenty of opportunities to meet and connect with people offline in person where I live so I don't view foregoing online encounters as anything I'm missing out on. As an example, I rarely drink alcohol so I'm not likely to meet someone at a bar either and I don't see that as a missed opportunity to meet someone. If I were living in an isolated area, I might feel encumbered by his behavior, but that's not the case. I just believe people deserve an honest response for why I don't engage in private conversations with people I don't know online. The only exception to that rule is if someone posts videos of themselves on their social media because I can verify that it's not him, but even then, I'm not a fan of long distance romantic relationships so it's not likely to get beyond a limited friendship.
My ex fell "in love" with just about everyone he dated for more than a month. This was a huge red flag for me. I was a year out of a divorce when we met. We got along great, had many of the same interests but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I really could be any 50 something, good looking female in good shape. I think he had abandonment issues and wanted anyone to commit to him. I had my own issues of emotional and physical neglect during my 28 year marriage. This is what I received and stayed for during the new relationship. However, I couldn't gamble with my future and take on the other red flags which slowly emerged. For the past two years I find that I am at peace with where I am in my life. I love my peaceful life and don't see me inviting chaos into it ever again.
These are valid points but after a narcissistic/ abusive relationship you have to be very cautious about who you let in your life. It is about defining your values and boundaries. I do not think that all bad qualities should be tolerated.
Becoming more self-aware about who I’m inside out was my best lesson to learn in my journey of self-love. I’m dating myself again after coming out of a painful marriage of 15yrs.The day i feel that I have fully invested in becoming the better version of myself, I think then I will be close to being ready.
After being single for four years and rediscovering myself I felt hesitant, but ready. I met someone online who lives 3,000 miles away. Subconsciously I probably chose him on purpose because he was "safe " As it turns out, he is a beautiful soul; kind, and emotionally healthy, and we're very compatible in the most important ways. We're able to travel back and forth to see each other and are getting to know each other and developing a wonderful relationship by communicating every day in between visits. I feel that he sees me, and brings out the best in me - and I want to do the same for him because he's such a good person. 😊 Thanks Matthew for your insight!!
That part when you say " recognize the best and elevate it whilst recognizing the worst and helping healing it.. as we also expect it towadrs ourselves".. IS BEAUTIFUL. Thank you Matt
Wow. This video really opened my eyes, clearly showed that there is a difference in wanting to not be lonely vs wanting a relationship. Makes me realize I need to think more about myself. Truly an excellent message and perfectly explained. I will be watching this one a few more times. Thanks Matt.
@@caoilin3 im good, thank you for your response. I will very well like to know you more. Im single and live in Houston Texas. how about you, where about are you from
This video answered a few soul searching questions of mine. My relationship came to an end in February for quite a few reasons, most of which were out of my control thanks to covid. When the relationship ended most of the people around me said “oh don’t worry, she was punching way above her weight, you were way too good for her” But I never seen that, I only seen what made her beautiful in my eyes and never her faults in other peoples eyes and I loved her without question. So yes I am ready.
I used to be ready a couple of times. At 38 I'm not and I'm sure it will last a while, still couldn't be more comfortable with that. Matthew, you're a treasure!
I think we meet the right person when we are happy within ourselves and have evolved from our experiences. And of course timing because you both have to be willing to invest in each other. You should invest in someone who invests in you.
I went on my first date and it went so well. I loved the way he made me feel. He looked older than photos, we have connections all ready. We spoke and texted for about two months before. I loved his sensitive warmth. He said he could be a support to me and I felt he could. Going well so far. I am willing to be his support too. I believe if you see the guy as a friend too then that's where " magic" begins
I think getting to know a person is important bcuz so many times we over look that or expect that to naturally happen once the relationship is developed and thats backwards and in my opinion getting to know the person allows u to see if that's some one you're really interested in taking things to the next level
@@ForevAzz didn't work out with that one. But I've been with a Romanian man for four months and I'm in love for the first time ever because it's reciprocated
@@shivanthikulasingham6131 Yeah totally...I home school my daughter and we chat alot about kindness, also not staying friends with people if they bully...even early PDHPE stuff....have encouraged both my girls to talk to me about anything... and they do....but if Matt Hussey hero's did talk at high schools it would inspire teens to respect themselves and others. Sexual stuff seems to be starting earlier than ever...very scary🧚♀️
British boys schools teach emotional intelligence, how to read people and diplomacy from a young age. Should be the standard in early childhood education. Mr. Hussey is interesting, but I don’t agree with half of what he says 😊
@@PtolemyXVII hello, that's really good that over there Brittish boys get taught diplomacy......I live in Australia and feel it's a bit lacking......and nothing in schools teaches them about what a healthy relationship is......so far I like what Mr Hussey says......and I now and then may have a different feelings about what he says from my personal experiences but I generally agree with what he says...... love your honesty and it's a good trait to have🧚♀️
"To love is not about merging. It is a noble calling for the individual to ripen, to differentiate, to become a world in oneself in response to another. It is a great, immodest call that singles out a person and summons them beyond all boundaries. Only in this sense may we use the love that has been given us. This is humanity’s task, for which we are still barely ready." - Rainer Maria Rilke -
Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands emotions.. Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands relationships.. Matthew Hussey..you are the one..who deserves all the happiness and love..
Watching this I just realized that I am still guilty of projecting. That's why I watch these videos. I have learned so much about myself as it relates to dating.
I love the purpose of this video. I have met some great people on online dating. However, whenever the talking starts getting old, I'll ask them out for an actual date and get ghosted or I'll lead them to ask for the date and they never do. Love all of your messages and your insights into people and relationships.
Oh Lord. Looking at the best of someone. I just realize how hypercritical I was about my ex. He was to me too, but I can’t say I always saw the best in him.
I've been on a healing journey since 5 years ago and You Tube videos helped me a lot! I'm now entering a time where I'm feeling a lot more ready for a healthy relationship and am attracted to healthier people. This video was so so eye opening and comforting! I am so surprised that I didn't watch his videos earlier but Maybe I wasn't ready yet. Now I am and I'm so grateful!! Thank you Matthew
That video showed up to me.. I don’t know why (I live in another corner of the world), but after watching it, I realised how much I needed to listen those things.
Hello friend, I am from Australia. I can recommend this powerful spellcaster that helped me bring my ex back within 48 hours after 9 months of separation.
After my recent break up I actually realized exactly what you said here, I realized that in my past relationship I just didn't want to be lonely and I liked the idea of being in a relationship and that was the reason for me to get in those relationships in the first place. But now after I see that and I'm going through healing myself I know that I would never do that again, I want to get into a relationship only if it feels true for me, if the person really interests me and doesn't feel fake or too forced to be with.
hi! i just want to share this too, i felt lost and i found the vid below i believe in God but i never really understood when they say let God be the center of your relationship its a good video, talks about friendship first and falling in love with something beyond the person, hope this helps too ruclips.net/video/TCg4oDY8m74/видео.html
Totally true. I’m living in London and it’s exactly like this. Real relationship is building on a basis of love reciprocity, not to fill a void or for functional reasons like sharing bills and social status. I believe in true love! True love in a real connection love ourselves and love the other as he really is with all package of qualities and imperfections. Gratitude Matthew very beautiful your video 💕💕💕
You are so right, we all come with flaws none of us are perfect. But we must know what we are realistically looking for in a person if we keep trying to find mr. Right we will be looking for a long time and be very disappointed. When I say Mr Right am talking about the perfect person. Not going to happen.. I wrote down everything I wanted that was realistically what I wanted.. It took 2 years, but I got there. He's not perfect, but he gives me the love and support I needed. So thankful that he came along. Thank you for all your videos they helped me many times..
Hello friend, I am from Australia. I can recommend this powerful spellcaster that helped me bring my ex back within 48 hours after 9 months of separation.
So glad for your stance on this Matthew - been single for awhile now, but still don’t feel ready to be in a relationship. Could have listened to so much more than 16 minutes of this. Definitely wisdom for when I feel lonely & want someone there!
Very insightful Matthew thank you! I agree with this revelation.. especially in readiness. As much as I feel ready and much loneliness here, I am still working through a touch of trust issues. I thought I overcame them with time. I need to put more faith in a new person as they are a clean slate to draw with! Although, I am a believer of love can happen regardless of obstacles like distance. It just requires more effort. Kind of like an athlete trying to run a local race or sport vs training for the Olympics! Go for the gold!!! 🎶🏃♀️🏆🥇❤👑
The exact question on timing n relationship was answered here. Only the irony remains that we fall for the "projection" for new Charming suitors and end up being sad ourselves when the screen breaks. As far as m concerned I hv full faith I will get my man but focussing on finding myself first ❤️
Thank you so much for this wise message ! I think I just realized I'm not ready for a real relationship despite what I used to say to others and to myself
After listening to this video I’ve realized I’m not ready for a relationship, I thought I was but I’m far from it. For the past year I’ve been LOOKING for someone to share my life with, because just like you said, I don’t want to be alone anymore. Oddly enough I do get the guy, but as soon as I sense doubt in them I pull back and end up running away..Im just not ready, and they might not be as well. Also I used to always have a back up guy while dating someone else, Im so tired of that, I’m tired of not trusting the other will commit and always being in a “one foot in and one foot out” situation. Lately I’ve decided to cut all ties loose, which has given me the opportunity to commit to myself, maybe this will help me commit to others and attract a man who is ready for the same.
Matthew, Do you mean I can't have the Right man delivered to my doorstep relationship ready? 🤦♀️ Phooey! I love the analogy that dating is like cooking a meal that turns into a relationship.
i luv this! romance, to me anyway, is something shared, like the beauty found in fantasy.... but in nature's flow. romance is moments shared in feeling! people are actually so much more than that!!
Did everything I was suppose to, and I'm still dieing alone. I followed you for years, since you began and nothing has been enough and my heart's been broken so many times. I'm done, I'm just giving up on life all together.
I love this! You definitely have to be ready to be in a relationship even if you find the “right person” because that lack of readiness will come out sooner or later and f*** things up. Like if you’re afraid of being alone, and find the right person, you’re still gonna be clingy and attached and it might put a burden on the relationship. So it’s better to deal with that stuff before
Jeffery Bradly I’d say I’m in a pretty good space today, I’ve done a lot of work on myself, but in a way I feel like I’m still not ready. I really enjoy my freedom and a relationship sounds so entrapping right now and I know that would come out sooner or later. But also I was in a long term marriage prior so I feel Iike I need this time being single and alone to truly be ready. It’s ironic bc the example I used above is opposite of my problem lol
@@borbala6849 I understand, but i dont think there is ever the "right" time for starting a relationship, the right person may come along and you feel its not the "right" time, and then the "right" time is set, you may be suprised it'll be mostly frogs than come along. sorry about your past experience, but just leave your chances open.. always start off as friends, things will take shape by itself, you dont have to mould anything or try to mould anything, just leave it, it works best when its left on auto. wish I could know more about you, you have such load of intelligence and im always attracted by such :)
Jeffery Bradly oh don’t get me wrong, if a solid man walks into my life and we connect, I pursue. I do believe in divine timing and order. But am I purposefully and actively looking for someone? No. Do I crave to be in a relationship? No. I feel like there’s still things I have to learn and experience before settling down again. And I have to listen to that feeling bc I know it’s my intuition talking to me. And thanks for the compliment!! You’re def challenging me over here haha
@@borbala6849 wow! i have not felt this discussionally engaged in such a long while aside from work related things.. oh! lord, i will definitely love to stay in touch with you for a verrrry long time as a friend while i patiently watch and hope you flip that coin to the other head :) I may have to keep challenging you Lol please check on the about section of my profile here for my email and feel free to write, I will definitely respond accordingly. Regards
That supply chain approach for all that process on ego through until one gets to be with The One was just brilliant and didactic. The fast-food-like dating that modernity serves us as a solution to some part of that chain, incredible! Always no waste of time watching your videos, Matthew, my man. And again, Gracias! Ps: "Time spent with each other, time invested, a little sacrifice, a little skin in the game...that's often the thing people aren't willing to do these days" - Nailed it!
You are so right, we think we are ready but then we don't act ready, I can say I'm like that sometimes.. I love all the thoughts you've put on this video, it has made me reflect on myself 💗
Thank you so much, Matt. You, your brother and the entire team, are always here for us, delivering, giving your best to help our souls. Thank you for not giving up on us. ❤️
To my Frens, they feel like I’ve set my standards too high to “avoid” a relationship. For the longest time, I’ve been trying to explain my thoughts And at the same time search for a video to support my Belief -> I’m working on myself to be a better version everyday for I believe “The One” will appear when both of us had reached that “version” for both of us to recognize each other. This is also in response to your question about which camp we’re in. This video is by far the best I’ve found to “support” me in my next explanation (if I have to) 😅 Thank you and wishing you and everyone here “recognize” the One soon as well.
Mathew i used to know you since i was 12 cause i used to watch u on MTV back then my English was not there since i am arab and after i learnt it 7years ago I started watching your RUclips video you have no idea how much confidence you have me and people think i am way older than my age because of my awareness and my ethics in my relationships i love youu
Matthew that's the problem with dating nowadays - people go on dates, but they judge and project their own insecurities and issues on the other person. I treated dating as in I wanted to know the other person, I wanted to invest my time, but got treated like I was another one in the line, and soon I said something "wrong" I was casted away. I felt like men do not respect dating and the process, I felt exhausted by going on more dates and feeling exhausted and demotivated again, so I shut all my apps, and now I'm focusing on my sparetime and interests.
I subscribed after first 5 min. I was listening to you. You are talking from the bottom of my heart. I was not ready for a new relationship and thought a new one helps me with that. Mistake.But he liked me so much he did not give up and asked to give it a try.We had a break which. helped me to understand what I really want.Then I went back to him,this time asking him to give us a chance.He agreed. We both think that we were really good match from the beginning.Thank you for your helping words- relationship is a process. The work of two loving,willing people. I wish you also a lot of love.
Thank you for making this video. It’s so gave me clarity on myself and others in my life. Most importantly stressing that relationships take time. It’s what I’ve been saying for quite some time. Seems like everyone is always in a big hurry however I always want to take time to get to know someone, learning about them - hearing their stories. Thank you for not making me feel like the odd man out or woman. Big hugs to you!!
Today I should have met up with a guy for the first time. Last night over text I mentioned to him that I had this random guy just message me, he didn’t like that “I was talking to other men” and today he expected me to drive 1 1/2 hours to him and sort out somewhere to meet, before Matthew I would’ve done it but I thought where’s his effort?! So it didn’t happen and won’t be, two red flags. He was saying over text that “ this could go somewhere “ and that was scary, I hadn’t even spoken to him 😳. Thank you Matthew, looking forward to the retreat 😊
I have noticed Matthew is getting more 💪💪buffed. You look healthy, you look great! This is a great video. The first part, "am I ready to date?" That question hit me hard, in a good way though. I am 47 and never been married. Long story short, been with my kid's father for over 14 years. After that I been wanting a committed, healthy and happy relationship. Of course we, me WANT one but are we, me READY for one? That is how I felt. I have not been ready. I will admit, I threw myself into improving my health, working on my career, college, and helping family and friends. And to be honest I can be alone until I find the one. I will not settle just for any man, whom I may get along with because I am getting older. I know I will find the one. I started to break away from everyone asking for my help, in a genuine manner of course and I started focusing on me a little bit more because I believe I am ready and I have the confidence that I will find the one. 😊😁 Thank you for your invested time and energy to make great videos that give me more insight on relationships. Videos gives my confidence a boost! Be healthy and happy! God Bless!!
I always feel like Mathhew‘s videos pop up exactly at a point in my life where I need them. I was just thinking about my readiness for a relationship then boom... this video 🤪 Extremely insightful and realistic. I fully subscribe to Mtthew‘s perception 👏🏻👏🏻
What you said about being seen being the true gift of relationship describes exactly what I am looking for through relationship, and it really helps me affirm I am much more ready than I realize and have so much to give. The privilege of seeing the depths of another person and sharing your depths through the intimacy a romantic relationship provides is the point in Union for me 🙏💜 thank you for your work and your sincerity💜
I hear you on the not perfect situation. I think that if there's a basic attraction and some commonalities and mutual respect, love could grow as well as the attraction
Mathew I live in South América and have been seing your videos for quite some years now, and this one shows the growth on your advice and the deeper content you are delivering, i Believe this is one of the most important videos you have made, in fact should be The very first one Any body should see.. we all should ask our selfs if we are ready for a relationship or just want not to be alone… i believe people don have this clear at all. Congrats!!!!
I choose unavailable men, I choose to act immature and sabotage things because I'm scared and won't communicate even though I'm actually, generally, good at it, I never put myself forward much... honestly the list could go ooooon.
Beautifully put, this is one of the best examples of a reality check. I hope one day to meet someone who would truly understand the content you have just presented.
Elevates our best and soothes our worst. This sentence has immediately made its way into my manifestation. I hope to do the same for others too! Matthew your videos are fantastic. I can’t tell you how much you help me. Thank you!!!
Absolutely living this. I love the reference to team mates. It has to be two people who work together through the good the bad the ugly. Time spent and team mates!!! Loving this soooooo much!!!!
I disagree that never liking someone is a sign that you are not ready for a relationship. We have to remember the context of not liking someone. Not liking someone is not simply a matter of nit picking but involves our discernment. If you know yourself well you have the ability to identify if your compatible with another from one conversation. Realistically you will need to access how much time, energy, and focus you are willing to gift someone. As a person who is classified as "difficult" by others when it comes to my accessibility. I would like to give insight as to why that statement is problematic in determining ones readiness for partnership. I need intellectual stimulation in all of my relationships, especially romantic. When a suitor approaches me I look for intellectual arousal. Intellectual stimulation is a prerequisite, it is non-negotiable. So if a guy can't provide that then its a no. Having a prerequisite is often perceived as being "difficult" to those who are ill equipped. Having an "abormal" expectation in your culture romantically, means you're not going to be attracted to them. From their perspective you are closed to love and need to settle but they use the term compromise. Not truly understanding that compromising is for mundane things that superficially impact your well-being and happiness. This is about exculsivity and inculsivity; neither are bad and one is not better than the other. They are not indicators of your readiness for a relationship either. How you identify, exculsive or inculsive, romantically is your right. Never allow someone else's perspective to taint that.
Needed to hear this. Just met a great guy who said he was looking for marriage, we had an incredible weekend together then he said he's not available to meet me at all during the week because he's tired from work (even though he goes the gym most nights afterwards) It was quite hard not to take it personally and as a sign of disinterest and I continue to be completely baffled by this. How can anyone expect a relationship with someone only free on weekends? People think they can have their cake and eat it these days and have no fear of losing someone special because they know they can just go on an app and find a replacement in 30 minutes, it's devastating.
Emma, I’m sorry this happened to you. I have gone through the same thing. I gave him a pass for awhile because I’m too easy going. I’m working on that part of myself. You know the answer already. It hurts and it sucks!!
I suggest giving him space if it’s early on. His drive might be a quality you like, no? If he refuses to give you a bit more time in the future , bring it up and move on if he can’t compromise. My $.02 🤠
@@seanl3384 Thanks Sean, much appreciated! Yeah early days, I didn't really want to but I'm gonna keep my options open to take away the heaviness of the situation!
Ad3) Some self-disclosing facts, isn't it Matt? Speaking about being ready for a relationship: nobody is ever completely prepared for it. The real challenge is meeting people with whom you "click" or vibe. You can be a very outgoing person (no need to be a couch potato who loves binge-watching romantic comedies with happy endings and living in a fantasy love world) but still don't meet adequate people to establish a genuine relationship with. The more evolved, educated and multifaceted the person is (looking for something meaningful and reluctant to settle), and maybe to add good looks, the harder it gets. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time having standards. No one expects that the right partner would be delivered to their door. Still, meeting " quality " people that resonate with our values and desires is nowadays very hard. And you can not force a connection, love or make people care no matter how strongly you desire that. There has to be freedom, free flow and mutual interest to develop an initial potential into something meaningful. The biological clock also limits women (the ones that want a family). Therefore the challenge to meet the right partner in due time, who would be a great parent, is even more demanding.
I have the same problem - when someone is interested in me and I am not interested back, I do question whether it was not meeting the right person or it was me not being ready for a relationship. But I can’t make myself like or feel connected with someone, so I ended up not taking “opportunities” where they presented themselves, rightly or wrongly. Maybe for me it is a combination of both. Dating is so hard….
Honestly what a brilliant video. Struggling through some things/ self reflecting to become a better me and there's definitely things I need to work on.
You've got to have a list of standards and a few things that are essentials for compatibility, but beyond that, being able to truly see someone and be seen will make those lists of what you want in a perfect partner redundant.
You know what Matthew, I had a relationship once, I fell in love with this guy, head over hills!!!! To this day no matter how much separation, time, or distance. I still love him, my love for him has only grown stronger. It's a complete nightmare being apart! It's depressing!
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"elevates our best, soothes our worst." - amazing truth!
how are you doing Leanne
For a looong time I THOUGHT i was ready but in fact, there was a lot of things I still had to work through and was not ready for a relationship. I was more obsessed with the idea of a relationship and was falling "in love" with people way too quickly. I was falling in love with the idea of the person. Now I can say I am truly at a point where I am truly ready for a relationship. I no longer fall in love with everyone person I meet and I understand what values I am looking for
Hi Sam! I think i'm on that phase that i think i'm ready but just got my heart broke again. Honestly, how do I get there? Thank you for sharing 😊
@@leanet22 Hi Leandra!! This sounds cheesy but what really helped me was journaling and being in touch with my feelings/ emotions. I used to be the type of person who would on my emotions and react poorly, but I would not fully process it.
This includes processing heart break. I had to rebuild myself and learn who I was without having someone else in my life. Basically, the thing where people say you have to be whole on your own is so true. I wrote down values, red flags, and deal breakers I had from past relationships and it made it easier to see them whenever I met someone new.
I basically learned what I would and would not tolerate. If someone wasn't showing the same amount of interest in me, I would move on. Little things like that helped!
@@SamElle What was the urgent need to have someone in your life at all times for, if you don't mind the question? 😄
@@Mgrtimesthree it wasn’t at all times! It comes and goes in waves for me. I think there’s more pressure now as I get older (from my parents) and from seeing friends around me getting engaged or married!
@@SamElle I see. Makes perfect sense with outside pressures being a strong factor. Thanks for sharing. 🙌🏻
It’s a beautiful thing when phrases in a relationship change from “I’m seeing someone” or “we are seeing each other” to “I see you”.
That's why I love Avatar... "I see you" - maybe it's the new ILY✨
A lot of people are going around broken. Not fixing. Not healing. Not ready, and expecting the other person to be perfect and fix them
That was me, but after having a nervous breakdown and the consequent digging into lack of self esteem, I know we need to address this in young people at high school age. So much wasted potential of young people due to highly dysfunctional parents. What sucks is that once you fix yourself you don't want romance!
Healthy self = Heal Thy Self
That is very true. A person who doesn't want to be alone will find someone who also feels alone.
@@graysparrow1226 🤯 Damn
Bringing out the best in each other as equals with no pedestal and projection is the most amazing and beautiful experience : ))
LP pool pl
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Wow, beautifully said
“Dating is like cooking a meal that turns into a relationship.” SO true. Be truly kind and loving and accepting all along the way. 💓
nicely put, thank you. how are you doing today
I’ve heard this in a movie once and i feel it really opened my eyes on what love is a little bit. It went like this.. ”I like you because, but i love you despite”. Not everybody is perfect but when you truly love a person, you’re willing to overlook all the bad qualities and focus on the amazing ones
I don't think people have good and bad qualities. Some are just more compatible than others
@@snoozyq9576 Yes, but no one will be fully perfect. And you shouldn't look for one that is, either.
It's good to find someone that makes you fall in love with them more every day, and someone that pisses you off like no other, yet you still fall for them more for it. But it is also down to compatibility, yes. It's hard to explain better then that i think
Its about elevating the good and soothing and healing is possible, thr bad, and the willingness for this from both sides
Matthew, your parents did a great job with both your brother and you. They taught you about real bonds. I think cinema has harmed us a lot, we are the first generation with a massive access to media and we are all confused and looking for new heroes and new gods as if we were a new species of human when we are as imperfect and love- seeking (or even more) as our ancestors. Wish you the best from southern Spain.
I agree too much fake unrealistic fantasy imagery......that suck us into thinking 'the grass is greener elsewhere'🧚♀️
romantic movies are worst influencers.....
We grew up watching love ending at a sunset hill. But now we have yt, podcast,books etc to be more aware of everything and anything that we choose to look for especially when it comes to love and finding a partner.
Try not watching any television at all it’s even more lonely. On my days off all I usually do is just read the Bible and today I’m going on a date but just don’t even want to go. I’m just going through a stage of sadness and loneliness for some reason because I had to change my life drastically and it’s painful.🤷♀️
Matt, in answer to your question: I used to fall in love with people who gave me a bit of their attention way too quickly and get disappointed time after time, because they either rejected me or were unavailable. I guess I wanted a relationship too much, but wasnt actually ready for one. It was like a vicious cycle, but I made my way out of it in the end :)
How did you make your way out. That's exactly what I'm going Through...
@@evelynmontero4178 I had that problem because desired a relationship, and I desired a relationship because I wanted to have a person with whom I could be very close. My close friends live in different cities and I didnt have any warmness or any particular connection with my family, I guess I was very lonely. That made me fall in love with guys before they showed me their real face or expressed commitment. I guess you need to analyse what makes you fall in love too quickly, so that you can look for it elsewhere other than in relationships.
When compatibility sparks chemistry, we're emotionally ready for a relationship. We need to get beyond our insecurities, meet our own (subconscious) needs as much as possible, communicate openly and honestly with compassion, and accept each other as human beings. A lot of people struggle to take accountability and that's why it "feels" difficult, complicated, and frustrating.
I admire your sense of reasoning :) hello Deanna, Im Jeffery, will love to know you more
@@colainebradly786 thanks, that's kind of you. Unfortunately, I have an ex who creates fake social media accounts to stalk me, so I've made it a habit not to chat privately with anyone online who I don't know personally. All the best.
@@colainebradly786 I understand your point, but his perceptions aren't of consequence to me. I don't care if he thinks he's winning. There are plenty of opportunities to meet and connect with people offline in person where I live so I don't view foregoing online encounters as anything I'm missing out on. As an example, I rarely drink alcohol so I'm not likely to meet someone at a bar either and I don't see that as a missed opportunity to meet someone. If I were living in an isolated area, I might feel encumbered by his behavior, but that's not the case. I just believe people deserve an honest response for why I don't engage in private conversations with people I don't know online. The only exception to that rule is if someone posts videos of themselves on their social media because I can verify that it's not him, but even then, I'm not a fan of long distance romantic relationships so it's not likely to get beyond a limited friendship.
My ex fell "in love" with just about everyone he dated for more than a month. This was a huge red flag for me. I was a year out of a divorce when we met. We got along great, had many of the same interests but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I really could be any 50 something, good looking female in good shape. I think he had abandonment issues and wanted anyone to commit to him.
I had my own issues of emotional and physical neglect during my 28 year marriage. This is what I received and stayed for during the new relationship. However, I couldn't gamble with my future and take on the other red flags which slowly emerged.
For the past two years I find that I am at peace with where I am in my life. I love my peaceful life and don't see me inviting chaos into it ever again.
my narcissist ex ...everyone was his "soulmate" and for the stupidest of reasons 😂stupid!
These are valid points but after a narcissistic/ abusive relationship you have to be very cautious about who you let in your life. It is about defining your values and boundaries. I do not think that all bad qualities should be tolerated.
Becoming more self-aware about who I’m inside out was my best lesson to learn in my journey of self-love. I’m dating myself again after coming out of a painful marriage of 15yrs.The day i feel that I have fully invested in becoming the better version of myself, I think then I will be close to being ready.
After being single for four years and rediscovering myself I felt hesitant, but ready. I met someone online who lives 3,000 miles away. Subconsciously I probably chose him on purpose because he was "safe " As it turns out, he is a beautiful soul; kind, and emotionally healthy, and we're very compatible in the most important ways.
We're able to travel back and forth to see each other and are getting to know each other and developing a wonderful relationship by communicating every day in between visits.
I feel that he sees me, and brings out the best in me - and I want to do the same for him because he's such a good person. 😊 Thanks Matthew for your insight!!
same .
That part when you say " recognize the best and elevate it whilst recognizing the worst and helping healing it.. as we also expect it towadrs ourselves".. IS BEAUTIFUL. Thank you Matt
Wow. This video really opened my eyes, clearly showed that there is a difference in wanting to not be lonely vs wanting a relationship. Makes me realize I need to think more about myself. Truly an excellent message and perfectly explained. I will be watching this one a few more times. Thanks Matt.
how has your day been Carolyn
@@colainebradly786 pretty good. You?
@@caoilin3 im good, thank you for your response. I will very well like to know you more. Im single and live in Houston Texas. how about you, where about are you from
This video answered a few soul searching questions of mine.
My relationship came to an end in February for quite a few reasons, most of which were out of my control thanks to covid.
When the relationship ended most of the people around me said “oh don’t worry, she was punching way above her weight, you were way too good for her”
But I never seen that, I only seen what made her beautiful in my eyes and never her faults in other peoples eyes and I loved her without question.
So yes I am ready.
I used to be ready a couple of times. At 38 I'm not and I'm sure it will last a while, still couldn't be more comfortable with that. Matthew, you're a treasure!
I don't usually comment at all but this is one of the best videos ever made on the subject thus far. Other guys need to see this, especially.
"someone who elevates our best and soothes our worst". BAM! Love this!
I think we meet the right person when we are happy within ourselves and have evolved from our experiences. And of course timing because you both have to be willing to invest in each other. You should invest in someone who invests in you.
I went on my first date and it went so well. I loved the way he made me feel. He looked older than photos, we have connections all ready. We spoke and texted for about two months before. I loved his sensitive warmth. He said he could be a support to me and I felt he could. Going well so far. I am willing to be his support too. I believe if you see the guy as a friend too then that's where " magic" begins
I think getting to know a person is important bcuz so many times we over look that or expect that to naturally happen once the relationship is developed and thats backwards and in my opinion getting to know the person allows u to see if that's some one you're really interested in taking things to the next level
I feel all warm and cozy just reading this. Good luck Leila.
Update? 😊
@@ForevAzz didn't work out with that one. But I've been with a Romanian man for four months and I'm in love for the first time ever because it's reciprocated
@@leilachristie1861 aww glad to hear! And thanks for the update ☺️
...Elevates our best, soothes our worst." ahh I felt such relief to hear you say this! I have just recently started practicing this with myself :)
the differenciation between be ready for a relationship and be ready not to be alone is very subtile. amazing Matthew
Good points raised by the video. Having said that, sometimes you don’t know what you are truly looking for until you experience what you are not.
High schools should have people like Matt Hussey visit and give advice to young minds to help them make better choices🧚♀️
Could not agree with you more! I wish I had him when I was back in high school. We are taught so many 'Subjects', but not important LIFE subjects.
@@shivanthikulasingham6131 Yeah totally...I home school my daughter and we chat alot about kindness, also not staying friends with people if they bully...even early PDHPE stuff....have encouraged both my girls to talk to me about anything... and they do....but if Matt Hussey hero's did talk at high schools it would inspire teens to respect themselves and others. Sexual stuff seems to be starting earlier than ever...very scary🧚♀️
British boys schools teach emotional intelligence, how to read people and diplomacy from a young age. Should be the standard in early childhood education. Mr. Hussey is interesting, but I don’t agree with half of what he says 😊
@@PtolemyXVII hello, that's really good that over there Brittish boys get taught diplomacy......I live in Australia and feel it's a bit lacking......and nothing in schools teaches them about what a healthy relationship is......so far I like what Mr Hussey says......and I now and then may have a different feelings about what he says from my personal experiences but I generally agree with what he says...... love your honesty and it's a good trait to have🧚♀️
They tried but I never wanted to listen lol. That's the problem with teens they sometimes wanna find out the hard way
"To love is not about merging. It is a noble calling for the individual to ripen, to differentiate, to become a world in oneself in response to another. It is a great, immodest call that singles out a person and summons them beyond all boundaries. Only in this sense may we use the love that has been given us. This is humanity’s task, for which we are still barely ready."
- Rainer Maria Rilke -
I've been waiting for you Matthew all my life❤️❤️❤️❤️
Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands emotions..
Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands relationships..
Matthew Hussey..you are the one..who deserves all the happiness and love..
This is brutal. Thank you. Your words are a mirror of all the times
Watching this I just realized that I am still guilty of projecting. That's why I watch these videos. I have learned so much about myself as it relates to dating.
This video was definitely the wake-up call I needed to reflect deeper on what it means to be ready for a relationship - thank you Matthew.
I love the purpose of this video. I have met some great people on online dating. However, whenever the talking starts getting old, I'll ask them out for an actual date and get ghosted or I'll lead them to ask for the date and they never do. Love all of your messages and your insights into people and relationships.
After my divorce I turned my back to the world.... But I think am finally ready for a serious relationship... 🤗
Oh Lord. Looking at the best of someone. I just realize how hypercritical I was about my ex. He was to me too, but I can’t say I always saw the best in him.
I've been on a healing journey since 5 years ago and You Tube videos helped me a lot! I'm now entering a time where I'm feeling a lot more ready for a healthy relationship and am attracted to healthier people. This video was so so eye opening and comforting! I am so surprised that I didn't watch his videos earlier but Maybe I wasn't ready yet. Now I am and I'm so grateful!! Thank you Matthew
Socionic Relations of Duality elevates our best and soothes our worst. I'm an EII and I just met my LSE last month. 💕💕
That video showed up to me.. I don’t know why (I live in another corner of the world), but after watching it, I realised how much I needed to listen those things.
You have been working out Matthew, keep up the good work. Behaviors are important.
Aaaaabsolutely correct... no time no space and yet they all hang around on these apps claiming they want to find someone to go the distance with 🤷♀️
Hello friend, I am from Australia. I can recommend this powerful spellcaster that helped me bring my ex back within 48 hours after 9 months of separation.
Contact her on WhatsApp now. 1 9 2 9 4 4 3 5 2 6 7 ...
After my recent break up I actually realized exactly what you said here, I realized that in my past relationship I just didn't want to be lonely and I liked the idea of being in a relationship and that was the reason for me to get in those relationships in the first place. But now after I see that and I'm going through healing myself I know that I would never do that again, I want to get into a relationship only if it feels true for me, if the person really interests me and doesn't feel fake or too forced to be with.
This right here is why I haven't been in a relationship for a long time.
hi! i just want to share this too, i felt lost and i found the vid below
i believe in God but i never really understood when they say let God be the center of your relationship
its a good video, talks about friendship first and falling in love with something beyond the person, hope this helps too
ruclips.net/video/TCg4oDY8m74/видео.html
Totally true. I’m living in London and it’s exactly like this. Real relationship is building on a basis of love reciprocity, not to fill a void or for functional reasons like sharing bills and social status. I believe in true love! True love in a real connection love ourselves and love the other as he really is with all package of qualities and imperfections.
Gratitude Matthew very beautiful your video 💕💕💕
You are so right, we all come with flaws none of us are perfect. But we must know what we are realistically looking for in a person if we keep trying to find mr. Right we will be looking for a long time and be very disappointed. When I say Mr Right am talking about the perfect person. Not going to happen.. I wrote down everything I wanted that was realistically what I wanted.. It took 2 years, but I got there. He's not perfect, but he gives me the love and support I needed. So thankful that he came along. Thank you for all your videos they helped me many times..
Elevate the best; help to heal the worst. Brilliant!
Hello friend, I am from Australia. I can recommend this powerful spellcaster that helped me bring my ex back within 48 hours after 9 months of separation.
Contact her on WhatsApp now. 1 9 2 9 4 4 3 5 2 6 7 ...
So glad for your stance on this Matthew - been single for awhile now, but still don’t feel ready to be in a relationship. Could have listened to so much more than 16 minutes of this. Definitely wisdom for when I feel lonely & want someone there!
Very insightful Matthew thank you! I agree with this revelation.. especially in readiness. As much as I feel ready and much loneliness here, I am still working through a touch of trust issues. I thought I overcame them with time. I need to put more faith in a new person as they are a clean slate to draw with! Although, I am a believer of love can happen regardless of obstacles like distance. It just requires more effort. Kind of like an athlete trying to run a local race or sport vs training for the Olympics! Go for the gold!!! 🎶🏃♀️🏆🥇❤👑
The exact question on timing n relationship was answered here. Only the irony remains that we fall for the "projection" for new Charming suitors and end up being sad ourselves when the screen breaks. As far as m concerned I hv full faith I will get my man but focussing on finding myself first ❤️
Thank you so much for this wise message ! I think I just realized I'm not ready for a real relationship despite what I used to say to others and to myself
This is a beautiful video.. 😭
I’m literally crying.
After listening to this video I’ve realized I’m not ready for a relationship, I thought I was but I’m far from it. For the past year I’ve been LOOKING for someone to share my life with, because just like you said, I don’t want to be alone anymore. Oddly enough I do get the guy, but as soon as I sense doubt in them I pull back and end up running away..Im just not ready, and they might not be as well.
Also I used to always have a back up guy while dating someone else, Im so tired of that, I’m tired of not trusting the other will commit and always being in a “one foot in and one foot out” situation. Lately I’ve decided to cut all ties loose, which has given me the opportunity to commit to myself, maybe this will help me commit to others and attract a man who is ready for the same.
👏👏
A backup guy while dating someone else...Interesting way of coping 🤔
Matthew, Do you mean I can't have the Right man delivered to my doorstep relationship ready? 🤦♀️ Phooey! I love the analogy that dating is like cooking a meal that turns into a relationship.
Oh I loved this video...”elevates our best and soothes our worst” 🥰 quote of the year...thanks Matthew
hey Michelle, how are you doing
i luv this! romance, to me anyway, is something shared, like the beauty found in fantasy.... but in nature's flow. romance is moments shared in feeling! people are actually so much more than that!!
Wise words for such a young man.
Did everything I was suppose to, and I'm still dieing alone. I followed you for years, since you began and nothing has been enough and my heart's been broken so many times. I'm done, I'm just giving up on life all together.
I met someone very special inside and out, we will grow together and takeout slow
You’re so right
Relationship doesn’t happen overnight and is not deliveroo 😊
I just realized I WASN’T ready before. Something happened and now I am 🤗
I love this! You definitely have to be ready to be in a relationship even if you find the “right person” because that lack of readiness will come out sooner or later and f*** things up. Like if you’re afraid of being alone, and find the right person, you’re still gonna be clingy and attached and it might put a burden on the relationship. So it’s better to deal with that stuff before
I agree with you 100% fear drives many to the wrong path. how are you doing today?
Jeffery Bradly I’d say I’m in a pretty good space today, I’ve done a lot of work on myself, but in a way I feel like I’m still not ready. I really enjoy my freedom and a relationship sounds so entrapping right now and I know that would come out sooner or later. But also I was in a long term marriage prior so I feel Iike I need this time being single and alone to truly be ready. It’s ironic bc the example I used above is opposite of my problem lol
@@borbala6849 I understand, but i dont think there is ever the "right" time for starting a relationship, the right person may come along and you feel its not the "right" time, and then the "right" time is set, you may be suprised it'll be mostly frogs than come along. sorry about your past experience, but just leave your chances open.. always start off as friends, things will take shape by itself, you dont have to mould anything or try to mould anything, just leave it, it works best when its left on auto. wish I could know more about you, you have such load of intelligence and im always attracted by such :)
Jeffery Bradly oh don’t get me wrong, if a solid man walks into my life and we connect, I pursue. I do believe in divine timing and order. But am I purposefully and actively looking for someone? No. Do I crave to be in a relationship? No. I feel like there’s still things I have to learn and experience before settling down again. And I have to listen to that feeling bc I know it’s my intuition talking to me. And thanks for the compliment!! You’re def challenging me over here haha
@@borbala6849 wow! i have not felt this discussionally engaged in such a long while aside from work related things.. oh! lord, i will definitely love to stay in touch with you for a verrrry long time as a friend while i patiently watch and hope you flip that coin to the other head :) I may have to keep challenging you Lol please check on the about section of my profile here for my email and feel free to write, I will definitely respond accordingly. Regards
So very insightful about our own readiness, and the maturity to meet people with the right approach.
That supply chain approach for all that process on ego through until one gets to be with The One was just brilliant and didactic. The fast-food-like dating that modernity serves us as a solution to some part of that chain, incredible! Always no waste of time watching your videos, Matthew, my man. And again, Gracias!
Ps: "Time spent with each other, time invested, a little sacrifice, a little skin in the game...that's often the thing people aren't willing to do these days" - Nailed it!
This is the best video you have ever made! Thank you!
Agreed!
brilliant ♥️ it’s not ready made... it’s not fast food... it’s cooking a meal. I love this and experienced it to a T
You are so right, we think we are ready but then we don't act ready, I can say I'm like that sometimes.. I love all the thoughts you've put on this video, it has made me reflect on myself 💗
Thank you so much, Matt. You, your brother and the entire team, are always here for us, delivering, giving your best to help our souls. Thank you for not giving up on us. ❤️
how arte you doing today, your photo is a bit blurred, wish i could see you clearly
This was my favorite video of this channel
To my Frens, they feel like I’ve set my standards too high to “avoid” a relationship. For the longest time, I’ve been trying to explain my thoughts And at the same time search for a video to support my Belief -> I’m working on myself to be a better version everyday for I believe “The One” will appear when both of us had reached that “version” for both of us to recognize each other. This is also in response to your question about which camp we’re in. This video is by far the best I’ve found to “support” me in my next explanation (if I have to) 😅 Thank you and wishing you and everyone here “recognize” the One soon as well.
Mathew i used to know you since i was 12 cause i used to watch u on MTV back then my English was not there since i am arab and after i learnt it 7years ago I started watching your RUclips video you have no idea how much confidence you have me and people think i am way older than my age because of my awareness and my ethics in my relationships i love youu
Just what I needed. Thank you!
Saaaaame
Saaaame
Matthew that's the problem with dating nowadays - people go on dates, but they judge and project their own insecurities and issues on the other person. I treated dating as in I wanted to know the other person, I wanted to invest my time, but got treated like I was another one in the line, and soon I said something "wrong" I was casted away. I felt like men do not respect dating and the process, I felt exhausted by going on more dates and feeling exhausted and demotivated again, so I shut all my apps, and now I'm focusing on my sparetime and interests.
I subscribed after first 5 min. I was listening to you.
You are talking from the bottom of my heart.
I was not ready for a new relationship and thought a new one helps me with that.
Mistake.But he liked me so much he did not give up and asked to give it a try.We had a break which. helped me to understand what I really want.Then I went back to him,this time asking him to give us a chance.He agreed.
We both think that we were really good match from the beginning.Thank you for your helping words- relationship is a process.
The work of two loving,willing people.
I wish you also a lot of love.
Matthew changed. I changed. Thank you for the "new truths".
Thank you for making this video. It’s so gave me clarity on myself and others in my life. Most importantly stressing that relationships take time. It’s what I’ve been saying for quite some time. Seems like everyone is always in a big hurry however I always want to take time to get to know someone, learning about them - hearing their stories. Thank you for not making me feel like the odd man out or woman. Big hugs to you!!
I still get insight here after years of marriage. Keep up the good work!
I am loving these new candid thumbnails soooo much !
how are you doing today Manisha
@@colainebradly786 i amgreat ! How are you!
@@colainebradly786 as flattered as I am at the prospect...I am actually engaged 😊😊 but good luck to you
Loved the video Matt. In terms of topic+introspection it was the best one so far!
Today I should have met up with a guy for the first time. Last night over text I mentioned to him that I had this random guy just message me, he didn’t like that “I was talking to other men” and today he expected me to drive 1 1/2 hours to him and sort out somewhere to meet, before Matthew I would’ve done it but I thought where’s his effort?! So it didn’t happen and won’t be, two red flags. He was saying over text that “ this could go somewhere “ and that was scary, I hadn’t even spoken to him 😳. Thank you Matthew, looking forward to the retreat 😊
I have noticed Matthew is getting more 💪💪buffed. You look healthy, you look great!
This is a great video. The first part, "am I ready to date?" That question hit me hard, in a good way though. I am 47 and never been married. Long story short, been with my kid's father for over 14 years. After that I been wanting a committed, healthy and happy relationship. Of course we, me WANT one but are we, me READY for one? That is how I felt. I have not been ready. I will admit, I threw myself into improving my health, working on my career, college, and helping family and friends. And to be honest I can be alone until I find the one. I will not settle just for any man, whom I may get along with because I am getting older. I know I will find the one. I started to break away from everyone asking for my help, in a genuine manner of course and I started focusing on me a little bit more because I believe I am ready and I have the confidence that I will find the one. 😊😁 Thank you for your invested time and energy to make great videos that give me more insight on relationships. Videos gives my confidence a boost! Be healthy and happy! God Bless!!
I always feel like Mathhew‘s videos pop up exactly at a point in my life where I need them. I was just thinking about my readiness for a relationship then boom... this video 🤪
Extremely insightful and realistic. I fully subscribe to Mtthew‘s perception 👏🏻👏🏻
What you said about being seen being the true gift of relationship describes exactly what I am looking for through relationship, and it really helps me affirm I am much more ready than I realize and have so much to give. The privilege of seeing the depths of another person and sharing your depths through the intimacy a romantic relationship provides is the point in Union for me 🙏💜 thank you for your work and your sincerity💜
This was JUST what I needed to here. THANK YOU. Best video I have seen in a while.
You such an amazing speaker. Delivered the message in a such an engaging and vivid way. Thank you.
watching this video while actually cooking .. let’s hope it’s a good omen
I absolutely love the way you broke this down. I downloaded this video so I can watch it more times. Thanks Matt 🤗
I hear you on the not perfect situation. I think that if there's a basic attraction and some commonalities and mutual respect, love could grow as well as the attraction
Mathew I live in South América and have been seing your videos for quite some years now, and this one shows the growth on your advice and the deeper content you are delivering, i Believe this is one of the most important videos you have made, in fact should be The very first one Any body should see.. we all should ask our selfs if we are ready for a relationship or just want not to be alone… i believe people don have this clear at all.
Congrats!!!!
Love the emphasis on how partners should be "teammates"
I choose unavailable men, I choose to act immature and sabotage things because I'm scared and won't communicate even though I'm actually, generally, good at it, I never put myself forward much... honestly the list could go ooooon.
Beautifully put, this is one of the best examples of a reality check. I hope one day to meet someone who would truly understand the content you have just presented.
Very insightful video! I can see myself coming back again and again to watch this.
Elevates our best and soothes our worst. This sentence has immediately made its way into my manifestation. I hope to do the same for others too! Matthew your videos are fantastic. I can’t tell you how much you help me. Thank you!!!
I know a man who can help you get love💞♥️ without much effort 💯💯
I contacted him and he helped me get the love💞💕 I had always wanted for a long time
I didn't believe at first but when I saw that what he said was coming true💯💯I believed him and I didn't regret it
Absolutely living this. I love the reference to team mates. It has to be two people who work together through the good the bad the ugly. Time spent and team mates!!! Loving this soooooo much!!!!
I am sooooo ready to go through whatever it takes to have that relationship now!
I disagree that never liking someone is a sign that you are not ready for a relationship. We have to remember the context of not liking someone. Not liking someone is not simply a matter of nit picking but involves our discernment. If you know yourself well you have the ability to identify if your compatible with another from one conversation. Realistically you will need to access how much time, energy, and focus you are willing to gift someone.
As a person who is classified as "difficult" by others when it comes to my accessibility. I would like to give insight as to why that statement is problematic in determining ones readiness for partnership.
I need intellectual stimulation in all of my relationships, especially romantic. When a suitor approaches me I look for intellectual arousal. Intellectual stimulation is a prerequisite, it is non-negotiable. So if a guy can't provide that then its a no. Having a prerequisite is often perceived as being "difficult" to those who are ill equipped.
Having an "abormal" expectation in your culture romantically, means you're not going to be attracted to them. From their perspective you are closed to love and need to settle but they use the term compromise. Not truly understanding that compromising is for mundane things that superficially impact your well-being and happiness.
This is about exculsivity and inculsivity; neither are bad and one is not better than the other. They are not indicators of your readiness for a relationship either.
How you identify, exculsive or inculsive, romantically is your right. Never allow someone else's perspective to taint that.
Needed to hear this. Just met a great guy who said he was looking for marriage, we had an incredible weekend together then he said he's not available to meet me at all during the week because he's tired from work (even though he goes the gym most nights afterwards) It was quite hard not to take it personally and as a sign of disinterest and I continue to be completely baffled by this. How can anyone expect a relationship with someone only free on weekends? People think they can have their cake and eat it these days and have no fear of losing someone special because they know they can just go on an app and find a replacement in 30 minutes, it's devastating.
Emma, I’m sorry this happened to you. I have gone through the same thing. I gave him a pass for awhile because I’m too easy going. I’m working on that part of myself. You know the answer already. It hurts and it sucks!!
I suggest giving him space if it’s early on. His drive might be a quality you like, no? If he refuses to give you a bit more time in the future , bring it up and move on if he can’t compromise. My $.02 🤠
@@seanl3384 Thanks Sean, much appreciated! Yeah early days, I didn't really want to but I'm gonna keep my options open to take away the heaviness of the situation!
Wherever you’re filming from is awesome!
Great break down. Wow. You just have a way of putting words into how I feel. Thank you.
Ad3) Some self-disclosing facts, isn't it Matt?
Speaking about being ready for a relationship: nobody is ever completely prepared for it. The real challenge is meeting people with whom you "click" or vibe. You can be a very outgoing person (no need to be a couch potato who loves binge-watching romantic comedies with happy endings and living in a fantasy love world) but still don't meet adequate people to establish a genuine relationship with. The more evolved, educated and multifaceted the person is (looking for something meaningful and reluctant to settle), and maybe to add good looks, the harder it gets. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time having standards. No one expects that the right partner would be delivered to their door. Still, meeting " quality " people that resonate with our values and desires is nowadays very hard. And you can not force a connection, love or make people care no matter how strongly you desire that. There has to be freedom, free flow and mutual interest to develop an initial potential into something meaningful. The biological clock also limits women (the ones that want a family). Therefore the challenge to meet the right partner in due time, who would be a great parent, is even more demanding.
I have the same problem - when someone is interested in me and I am not interested back, I do question whether it was not meeting the right person or it was me not being ready for a relationship. But I can’t make myself like or feel connected with someone, so I ended up not taking “opportunities” where they presented themselves, rightly or wrongly. Maybe for me it is a combination of both. Dating is so hard….
Honestly what a brilliant video. Struggling through some things/ self reflecting to become a better me and there's definitely things I need to work on.
You've got to have a list of standards and a few things that are essentials for compatibility, but beyond that, being able to truly see someone and be seen will make those lists of what you want in a perfect partner redundant.
You know what Matthew, I had a relationship once, I fell in love with this guy, head over hills!!!! To this day no matter how much separation, time, or distance. I still love him, my love for him has only grown stronger. It's a complete nightmare being apart! It's depressing!