He's so right about meeting people through other people. Back in 2015, I was noticing all my friends getting married, having kids, and not wanting to do the things we used to. I missed that, so I made a conscious effort to start going to a lot of group activities that appealed to me. During this time, I met a musician. At some point, he asked me on a date. The date didn't work out and we decided to just be friends, but... fast forward to 2018. I'm waiting in line for the doors to open for one of his shows. It's freezing for April and the doors don't open when planned. As time kept ticking and I kept freezing, I looked around and asked the nearest person standing alone if he knew when doors were supposed to open. He didn't know; I said "thanks anyway" and moved back. He then struck up a conversation with me that ended up lasting through the whole show. We're going on 4 years together now and are planning to move in together in the fall. Moral of the story: I put myself out there, met someone who wasn't right for me, but through this person, 3 whole years later(!), I met "my person". Never underestimate the power of going to social versions of your own and many interests; the power of a network is undeniable.
You have just inspired me !!!! I've been single since I had my son ...7yrs ago! I've been a busy single Mum but as time ticks on and my child begins to grow up I'm starting to get lonely. I wanna start meeting people.
Well, I have an update... He proposed in July, and we're getting married in June of 2024! With some action and some luck, sometimes dreams do come true... even for a 45 year-old first-time bride! Keep going! 🥰
This is my dream.! What advice can you give me to make something like this a reality ? I’m a little scared to go out by myself, and I have been going to meet ups but nothing yet. But I have met some friends but some are married (with no single colleagues or siblings) or they live far when they invite me or I am just too tired from work to do anything . Im lucky to be able to go out to meet ups on the weekends to hike. Congrats to you btw!!
4:24 Do the more sociable version of the things you already like to do 7:20 Frequent places you go to 9:40 Say yes to new people and new places 13:15 Put yourself where other people are 13:24 Be 10% more proactive when there
Nice summary - Wensu! If you want to start attracting “Men” instead of “Boys…” Become a High Value Woman on your Purpose, that way - you become the type of woman that men are naturally attracted to - because you’ll be in High Demand! Men are going to be able to sense that immediately, quality men that is! Men that have their lives together. And therefore, you won’t need to chase them, because they’ll be drawn to you - like a magnet! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@SuperMurray2009 never thought of that (altho i am sure that's not true, like all are amazing people)! But thanks ❤️❤️❤️ for let me be more positive thinking about these self- esteem lowering n terrible years of dating.
I just wanted to add that volunteering is a great option! You get to do something good, that makes you feel good and you meet some really interesting, friendly people. Bonus is that most are looking to meet people as well😊
@@susanparkes5096 I guess you’re somewhat right but isn’t it mostly older married woman? Very rarely you would see someone young in their teens or 20s working at these places.
Lately, I joined a new gym and I started noticing these cool guys, which are quite shy to say anything first. So I decided to ease the effort and say something casual myself like "oh, how many sets have you got left?", "do you need these?", "could you help me?", "do you know how it works, show me". So giving them the platform to talk to me and showing them that I'm approachable, makes it easier for them to do the next step and ask for my number.
Yesterday I met an attractive, high-quality man who could easily be my “soulmate” while at the auto place getting new tires of all places. 😂 Unfortunately, he was married, so it turned out to be only a very sweet, platonic 20-minute conversation about mutual interests and values and then moving on. But it proves that if you are open and friendly you can draw quality people into your life. 💕
i never understood this soulmate thing. You are attracted to another, you feel to "click". That's great but what it has to do with being a "soul-mate"?
@@Adi-xs5dw (long answer, whoops!) I believe in reincarnation and that before we come down here (between lives) we have a “soul group” (for lack of a better term) which who are essentially our tribe/classmates/what-have-you who show up in our lives to either support or prompt us to learn lessons while we are in “Earth school.” They can be in our lives for a reason, a season (even a 20-minute season), or a lifetime. I believe my beautiful children are my soulmates, and my ex-husband (who was… challenging), and my abusive mom, and a whole host of positive and negative people in my life. I don’t believe in one romantic “soulmate,” as in “the great love of my life,” however. I used to, but life happens and I don’t now. I believe love is a choice, and while we can love others deeply, we don’t really *need* them to be happy or complete us. That’s our job, and a romantic partner is the icing on the cake. I’ve been struggling because I can’t bring myself to do online dating (even signed up - it’s just too overwhelming and inauthentic) and this guy was a lovely reminder that it IS possible to meet a quality person in real life by just being yourself and open and friendly. I needed that affirmed and it was a beautiful lesson. All very woo-wooey, I know! But I’m under no delusion there is only one perfect person out there for each of us. It would be nice, but I don’t believe it if I’m honest. As far as attraction goes, that’s different. You can be attracted to and “click” with someone for all kinds of good and bad reasons: friendship, sex/hormones, trauma bonding, ego/attention seeking. I’ve met plenty of people I was attracted to and clicked with but will forget about in a month. This was a memorable (albeit platonic for the obvious reasons) connection.
@@aleewoolley Appreciate your time to answer. I'm not here to question your belief, it's all good. One other spiritual way to see is that everyone who we encounter and have an effect on us is a teacher is some way or form. Doesn't have to be soulmate to my definition. Authentic guys are there too.
My sister met a high value man reroofing our dad's house! She asked him out and they became bf & gf, very much in love, but tragically he died of a heart attack. :(
True story. In 2019 I decided to audition for a part in a community theatre production. I’m not an actor and have zero acting experience. (As a trial lawyer, I am not shy and I am quite articulate). When I got to the audition, there were over 150 very good looking, personable people already there (there were only 4 parts in the play). So I started asking questions of the others who attended the audition. Some had a ton of acting credits. Nearly all had headshots. I had no acting credits, and no headshot. Every single person waiting at the audition with me was super kind and very encouraging to me. I wasn’t looking to meet new people (I have a terrific, beautiful girlfriend). When I left the audition, I couldn’t help but to think what a great place to meet terrific people. So get out there and do something new. Get out of your comfort zone. Good luck!
I go to concerts/shows a lot, but see lots of married people or groups of women. A couple weeks ago I went to a classic album concert and discovered a lot of single men there. I need to go to more of those! Great show too.
I have been asking God to help me manifest my person, my partner. Last night I prayed about it. This morning I find your channel. I believe this is an answer. Already, just by watching this video I feel I have a better chance of meeting someone beautiful and kind. I tend to be a hermit. I’m an artist and I spend most of my time alone. I’m going to take this video’s advice seriously and start going more places and put in 10% when I see someone I like.
This whole concept of God is troubling to me. I mean does God even have a partner? Did Jesus turn all that water into wine just to drink all the disciples under the table? Can the son of God even get drunk? That would have been one hell of a pub crawl though. "Jesus", slurs Peter "turn Judas into a duck again!" And because of the holy trinity, if Jesus is drunk, does that mean God and the holy spirits are drunk too?
I’m surrounded by attractive athletic men all the time because I snowboard, skate, and surf. Not because I’m looking but because it’s my life’s passion. The right men see that and they seek me out. I don’t have to do anything special, which is something I learned after trying online dating briefly. Hated those apps and deleted them shortly. Personally, a man’s height or appearance is not as important to me as his personality, attachment style, and I’ll admit his skills on a board.
I'm a guy trying to get the girl i want and I have to say Matthew hussey you have helped me so much with your advice , I just reverse your videos from the girl wanting to get the guy to the guy wanting to get the girl.
This is actually good advice tbh. I'm tired of hearing people say "Just join a club lol" like its that simple. But when you go in depth like this it makes far more sense
I met the love of my life on Bumble. We chatted (video and call) for a couple weeks before we had our first date, because we lived in different provinces in Japan. I don't think it matters where you meet people, it's all about the vibes you give off, your ability to judge someone's character and taking things slow. There are good and bad guys everywhere.
@@Ashcinnamon My cousin got married after meeting her man on a dating app. It works for many people. Dating apps just give you more options than walking around your neighbourhood. It's your job to keep your standards high and not settle on the first guy who asks you out. Traumatic stories come from people who settled on 💩 people.
@@dannahfam it's a lot harder to weed out the 💩 when you have no knowledge of a person's background. They can deceive and put up a front of being anyone they like until it's too late to stop being hurt or at least having your time and effort completely wasted.
@@susanparkes5096 Guys do that in real life too, though, not just on dating apps. Dating apps just give you more numbers so it seems worse, percentage wise. Granted, it is generally better to meet people through friends. However, I've never been interested in my friends' male friends. They're either already married or they are difficult to like.
@@Ashcinnamon So true. Have you also watched 'He's just not that into you'? 😂 This is an advice Alex gives to Gigi, which like poooof! opened my mind when I heard it.
Matt should have a 2 week social event for both single men/ women in a beach city (all ages). Have ppl apply wit application to attend. Or a single cruise off Ft Lauderdale, Matt can host it. 🙏🏻💙
@@browmi03 Maybe just a get together with ppl that are not players or easy just wanting a decent high value person. Or settle like my sisters, partners on the job did. Who knows ??? God? Lol
A person who is single is less attractive than a person in a healthy relationship. Look through today to see how they will be after your company has enrichened them, and vise versa.
Sorry to say but part of the problem is your life situation. High quality men want a woman who has never been married with no kids. To find a man willing to date a single mom, you may need to lower your standards.
Same. Married men keep hitting on me and I'm like damn, why is there no single dudes ! Go back to your wife, you dawg!! LoL! Makes me wonder if all men flirt with women even if they're married 🤔
I heard great advice earlier this year: Imagine you're seeing someone right now, and he/she is going out for a guy/girl's night with friends. Where do you imagine that person is gonna go or where you want that person to go? Well, you should go to that place to try and meet that person
Ideas i have motorbike shows, antique fairs, car shows, travel, tours, sailing trips, country clubs, conferences, having lunch in quality areas, art galleries. Mind you ive not had much luck
Online dating is hard . I think it's too easy for guys and instead of them asking me for a drink or a walk, they're asking if they can get a hotel for us , before us ever meeting. For me this is shocking, that a guy I haven't seen in my life is so blatant about just wanting sex with me, without putting any effort at all. I just want to meet a decent guy, who's interested in getting to know me as a person, not focusing only on sex :/
To easy for guys? Are you insane? Lol the average woman will have 100s if not 1000s of matches in a few days on online dating. The average man gets single digits. The problem woman have is their only chasing the top 15% of guys.
Your comment is hilarious. Shows how detached women are from the male dating experience. That guy is that bold because women do it because he's the top dog on there. You and every other woman on there are vying for him. You're not special to him. That's the cold hard truth. Most men get no matches or messages on dating apps.
@@jimraynor7788 There's nothing hilarious about my comment, I'm talking purely from my experience . I do agree with you though, that guys are so bold, because unfortunately some women do it, which makes it hard for women who don't go to bed with a guy ,they haven't been seeing in a while first .
As a young man their doesn't seem to be many quality people on the dating apps. Presentation is everything, it's a very superficial world now. I have no problem finding dates though nothing progresses to a relationship because being treated with disrespect is the end. "saying sorry without changing actions is considered manipulation."
When I smiled at a person (let's consider this the 10% proactive) from my gym (a place where I liked going and was really excited to go) that I recently joined and liked a guy, we started talking the next day and became friends. Unfortunately that was it because of certain circumstances but I smiled and he started the conversation so confirmation i guess lmao.
I remember waaaay back you had mentioned doing the most social versions of our favorite activities, and I'm an artist, so I found this to be a bit more difficult...I do however absolutely agree with trying out new activities and seeing new places, so I have been using this strategy and taking more trips (locally). If nothing else, just getting out more, has made me feel a bit more empowered too. 😊
I don't know your art form, but I paint. I also like nature (but don't paint it). I bought a travel bag and packed up my materials and some inspirational music (low volume) and painted at my local park or off a hiking trail. People will literally come up to you to introduce themselves. I had some great experiences and met some awesome people. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, but in retrospect, it would have been a great opportunity to meet someone.
Art classes to further your skills in other areas maybe? I work in the art world (making historical costumes for film) but I love trying other forms of art, the most recent was taking a pottery class, the next I'm thinking could be a woodwork class, but going off what Matthew is saying, maybe I'll opt for a few sessions rather then individual class?! Maybe you could consider the same but in your more favourable art forms, maybe life drawing or portrait class or attempt a different medium in a class like chalk/pencil/other types of paint 😊
Maybe think of it in a less literal way. Instead of thinking only art shows and museums think of poetry reading, story slams, concerts, improv or theater, dancing, writing groups. Places where creative types are more likely to be and make yourself known to be an artist so others can talk to you about your interests.
I love your reply! Artists are literally alone or around people that are not dating prospects! New people have to have time to understand and appreciate. It's like he's saying go to a coffee shop for coffee unless you don't like coffee. Ugh!
We are all energy and we aminate it outwards. When we go places we meet those that match that energy, so it does not matter where you go, more so it is important where you frequency is. There are so many stories about I met my perfect guy at the store, at the airport, at the train station, in the cinema, all those moments which are one in a million kind... well all it tells us is that at the moment both people were holding the same frequency and they matched.. whoever we meet we are meant to in order to learn a lesson, and sometimes we are meant to meet that person we were hoping for ..
my problem with no.3 is - I already do this, but sooner or later all those new people find partners (or already had them), so I see them less and they usually also don’t have single friends. it’s kind of a downer if you remain the single friend in all friend groups and always have to find new people and the cycle continues 🙃
Same experience I’ve had over the years…67 Yrs young….I’ve done all these..talk & get cell # or emails then they’re not interested in adding new relationships whether it was a guy I was attracted to or making new friend…even called but either have their “tribe” of established friends or on guys get voicemail & leave message then nothing. I live in Ohio small college town…..so frustrating & lonely as now my younger friends married with children & live in other states. My passion for films…”Ides of March”-Clooney…back Bkgrnd extra…traveled to DC solo…National Mail & Smithsonian…France-Paris-Cannes 2017…exchanged cell# & emails …. but again same result… If had bullet trains or monorail transportation in USA would help in connecting… Main problem I run into is not connecting w others looking for same relationships… Love this video & all of them. Thanks Maybe it’s Midwest location…. I’m open to solutions😊👍? Thanks
I'm in the midwest too, age 70, very small town so no classes, very few activities. In the past I did join the clubs for 3+ years before Covid hit (photography, gardening, knitting, church, political activities, went to the gym, etc.) but everyone was married, everyone, and no one asked me to other activities or events. I have often run into the "tribe" thing, meaning people have their group of friends and aren't interested in meeting new people. The joke around here is if you haven't lived in this town for 20 years, you're a newcomer. I have dogs that I walk regularly and have asked others to join me on a walk but I always get the answer "Sounds fun, I'm busy this week but let's talk soon ..." I'm a writer and editor, in two writer's groups but yes, every person in those groups is married too, and it seems in the midwest singles and marrieds don't mix. I have lunch or coffee with women friends I've met, but am never invited to their house or any event or activity where their spouse is present-it's all girls or nothing. Years ago 1970s and 1980s when I lived in Northern California, it wasn't like that-people were interested in meeting new people and inviting them to do things and reciprocating. Is it the times? Or is it the place? Maybe I will have to move to a city? At least one larger than the 12,000 in my city? I'm a huge fan of Jane Austen and wish the regular balls were still held in small towns like they were then! I guess the bars have taken their place? Unfortunately the bars around here are hardcore, not the friendly pub like Cheers or like those in Ireland or England. @@suslyn9811
I'm trying to recover from severe depression at the moment without using meds. I am attending any group activity I can reasonably do. I attend the after-church 'social and coffee' even though I'm not a Christian, I'm attending a free art workshop (that's been the best for meeting women particularly even though it's not my main goal), the library, coffee mornings, I'm doing some food bank type volunteer work also and I've met a good many new people this year. I live in an average sized but not very busy town so I really have to use what is available, but with some effort and regularity I am indeed meeting new people.
If some people are struggling to find love and are tired of using social media to pick up people, that can be one other good way to meet people, because you put yourself out in public showing all the guys what you do for fun, they suddenly see you having a good time while you’re being your true self and the higher chance of one of those guys that was in the room with you will approach you to check you out! Because they find you attractive, the same thing can happen to men too if they are also looking for love with a woman 🥰
Problem arises for rural people like myself- I go to town once a week or so and spend the rest of the time just gardening and working on my house and property. I've taken a part time job with a catering company but the events are mostly young weddings so not quite my demographic but at least it gets me out. I'm in an area that used to be farms but is now subdivisions, so the Saturday livestock auction is no more- it used to be a huge meeting place. Who would have thought we would be so disconnected in the modern world. I need to put more effort into this whole thing, but good grief it's 20 bucks in fuel just to go into town and back.....
I'm in a similar situation. I'm a young man (30 years old) living in a town of 3,500 people. As far as I can tell, there are no single young women (or men, for that matter) here at all. Only families and older people. All my dating prospects, and my entire social life, are 30+ minutes away. I've also found that the idea that "everyone knows everyone in a small town" is only true if you grew up there. If you're a newcomer, it's a struggle to meet anyone.
I have met incredible people in reallife that I would never have met through dating apps. All my dating apps dates were mediocre to trahs, and in real life, I just kept striking up dates that were way better (although we were never compatible enough). Since I realised that, I go the real life route for me personally. The past few month I felt like I did huge steps forward in understanding my true self, my intentions and what I am looking for in other people and it goes uphill ever since. I sometimes feel like Im living „how I met your mother“ (father in my case hahaha)
Here's the full scripture from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
Thank you for sharing your wisdom Matthew. Totally agree! My main issue- spending more time with regular people and I find it hard / uncomfortable to say ‘yes’ to new people. I definitely have to change .
I'm a man who sometimes enjoys listening to this channel, and I have met many women at the gym . Also, I'm in a bike club, which I have also met a few women . If you like physical activity and men or women who are in shape, I highly recommend trying this
I dated quite a bit when I was younger. Most of it was via online because even though I’m an ambivert, I have a much higher percentage of introversion. It’s important to know your likes and dislikes, be honest with yourself and others, and look for those who share similar values. I was fortunate enough to find a high-value guy who shares lots of common interests with me via Match. We’ve been together for 21 years, 19 of those married 💗
Here’s the problem, when you’re an introvert, it makes the whole process even more stressful. I get nervous during work meetings and in groups of people. I’m even more nervous around someone I like at the beginning. Seems like extroverts have the upper hand, since they get their energy around other people, vs someone who is drained after social situations. Then again, I would much rather put myself out there, then to continue scrolling where most men just lie about what they want on there anyways. Atleast if I met someone in person, I could approach the situation more realistically instead of building up expectations in my head based on a few attributes listed on a dating profile.
Your first date should be a light low stress environment, somewhere quiet but public. I like a nice pub (London) on a weekday evening. In the USA that might be coffee in the daytime.
I’ve had the same problem as well. I tend to overhype expectations in my head and have to struggle to bring them back down to reality. I don’t like to lead the conversation because I worry that I might become too domineering. Don’t worry, you are not alone.
I love paddle boarding..it's relaxing and you meet all kinds of people..it's also great excercise for the whole body and mind... much better than meeting one in the local gym or grocery store.
Thanks for your recommendations. Actually, I have been applying some of those tips. But, I think the most important is "Who". I know what kind of people I don't have in my life. I'm open to know new people who make me better person.
@@lightofall if you're a modern woman, that doesn't surprise me at all. The traits that husbands exhibit are found in Jui Jitsu gyms. The traits used to be a held in the highest esteem by the opposite sex. Instead, the modern woman prioritizes instant gratification. Prioritizes the traits found in players, the Chads, Tyromes. As far as physical attractiveness goes, it's the least important trait in the determination of a successful long term relationship that will last decade after decade.
A high value man does not “hang out” in a specific area. They are all over………and they know their value. They don’t chase, play games or do anything that the majority does. They may be having lunch alone……..it’s that person that everyone is looking at………..because they are fascinated because they are doing something different than most. A wealthy, single, quality man does not advertise wealth. He can also spot a quality woman, but most of the time women cannot spot him……..because they are too much up in their head, from past relationships. A relationship is about BOTH people putting in an effort. Lose the “attitude”
Tom, I’m reading this from northern Virginia in the US. What general area are you from? I’m wondering where common sense is located…I like your answer.
where I live, there IS a specific area where high value men hang out. It's called The Magic Spot. BTW, great comment, especially the point about BOTH people putting in effort. So many women think men should put in all/most of the effort while the women observe to see if the effort is good enough. I can smell those women pretty easily and avoid them like covid.
I’m doing most of these things now. I’m also chatting with people and asking if they have any single friends 😂 I think it’s only a matter of time. I’ve made new friends though !
I've actually learnt a whole lot from this video.... I'm gonna try doing the most social version of my favorite activities. I'm beginning to think this dating app of a thing is a total waste of time and energy. Still wandering if one can really meet high value and responsible guys on dating and blue app.
I like your ideas on how to meet a partner. The first thing I tell people not to do is go online. Let's face it, people lie and the Internet is the best place to do so. Everyone has a hobby. So take a class for the particular hobby. If you don't meet someone there, going out with that group of people will increase your chances of meeting someone you have something in common with.
I'm thinking about studying psychology and I have a feeling I'll find a nice guy there 👀 let's see if I'm right haha I'll do two things (three actually, cause I feel like I need more friends, people that understand me and who I can talk to about the same interests): experiencing studying psychology that I love so much aaand maybe finding a good man who will like me and we can start a relationship =)
Have tried loads of things from 20’s plus (now 59); dance classes of differing types, volunteering, wine tasting course, adult ed. classes.. No luck for relationships (or even friends). As a low income single parent, have been trying on-line for a few years: get a few dates but not the right type of person with the right circumstances..
Were you going to places that your potential partner would be interested in? I strongly doubt a suitor would be attending wine tasting courses. Will there men going to wine tasting courses sure, some many? No
Do you have good female friends? You need to start with the basics and develop a solid friendship group so you are socially competent, then get used to talking with men - male friends are good - building up to being the kind of 59 year old woman that a high quality 65 year old guy would like to have on his arm. :) Make sure you take care of your appearance, your house should be reasonably tidy, and your attitude should be playful & positive.
@@simontmn Yes - I have a few close female friends, who are all married save for 1: so it’s day-time socialising as evenings/weekends they r with husbands. My interests attract couples & women and not single men!
@@topnotch8432 Actually, cultured men do go to wine tastings (I know some who do) & may do wine courses.. (though I found in my area it was attended by couples only)
@@simontmn Sadly two of my close male friends died of cancer (both I met when we were mature students). Since being 40+ (compounded by being a low income single parent), I found I simply don’t meet single men!
I like to go to board gaming meet ups. I do this anyway because I love board games (not your typical ones, btw, but rather, hobbyist board games). But boy is it a great place to meet men. There is an unbalanced ratio at these events! It's probably 5 to 1 male to female. Bonus? Lots of smart guys! Downside: physical fitness is not always valued by gamers. Still, it's pretty great. Haven't found my person yet, but have been asked out a lot. Bonus: you see the same people over and over at the recurring events, plus new people, which gives you a chance to get to know them on a deeper level, and make good friends. ALSO! After a good strategy game, we will often play a more social game (like Secret Hitler, Blood on the Clocktower, or Codenames). These games are AMAZING for creating flirting/banter opportunities and tension, and also lots and lots of laughter... it's AWESOME for creating connection.
I just want to meet someone older, hardworking, firm leader, has a business or project he works on which he is passionate in, he is financially literate and successful. I just want to meet someone like that.
Why go somewhere general to meet someone when that place does not define your interests or your soul? Personally, it is much more likely I meet someone interesting when I am just out for a hike. I've been bitten with smitten out there much more than once. I also find an easy smile is a magnet to people. Just a quick shy smile says plenty. A subtle signal is very important. Finally we all have our quirks for signals. If I see an active lady with her hair pulled back in a pony tail under a ball cap, I AM going to smile! .... by the way, if you can't get "out" there every day, go join a social media group that defines your most loved interests. It works. .... P.S. All the comments on this video were pretty enlightening. Thanks for them!
As a man in a new small town, I tried: - Working out in a gym for a year, 3 times a week. The only "friend" I made was an old fat man. - I volunteered in the local animal shelter. I was so bullish about it, because I love animals and it was like 80% females there. Well... It didn't work. I just got out of it after 6 months.
I disagree. Bump into a man's shopping cart, smile and see the results. If you looked like a model most men would not even dare to start a conversation with you.
LOVE how during the LIVE retreat Stephen was talking on Day #6 and he said, "and don't worry a lot of my references won't include Jujutsu" although; low and behold, and Matthew asks, "where you can find high value men?" and .....cue commentary from Stephen as he says..."Jujutsu!" BABHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this was terrific! Thank you though for saying that we can find people where our interests are! I feel I need to get out to a concert, bar, or social events to meet guys when I can just do things I actually want to do!!! STUFF leads to STUFF! Thanks!
Ladies, tennis and golf are the best places. Not only are those activities done by athletic men, but since they can be expensive (especially golf), those are men with disposable income (if that appeals to you) Not a lot of women are in golf so there’s less competition - you stand out easier There’s potential for trips etc There’s also growing interest in cycling and line / step dance. Wanna catch prey, got to where the prey is.
You want something that maxxes social interaction opportunities, so casual team sports & classes probably better than lone activities like eg swimming, my interest (though the bikini chicks/hot dudes are a plus!)
I go every so often to have lunch at the local golf course patio as it's a nice place and closest decent place to me. Problem at golf courses if you aren't golfing is the people are usually in groups.
Hi Sir...Thanks for this amazing content and words of wisdom . It reaches to the conclusion that High Value Men is the "Person Being their self just as the way they are .It's truly magnetically attractive and bleeds into the other areas of relationship +vely .It's open up a new world of good feeling that is a confidence to personal power , because creating the life and love has little to do with outside givings and havings . Thanks Sir for this big one and many more to come .Much care and Regards 💝
I am a introverted type person and have a disability I feel so shy, vulnerable and exposed, taken out of my comfort zone, I really don't think a guy would want a person who is disabled, way too much responsibility for a guy I was used and abused by men most of my life as well, so I really don't think I can meet that special person
I really like his advices but stuff like that never ever happened to me. I have never dated a person that I was training with or went to school with or met in any real life situation. These kind of storys sound like a myth to me
I walk slowly in the grocery store with no headphones, and are very open and smiling and approachable. Men are just way too intimidated to even speak. Same with the gym. I've been going to the gym for e months and have gotten 3 hellos... but nothing farther than that... I'm always alone, even will go to bar restaurant and eat alone in hopes to meet someone. But I'm very confident being alone and I'm very happy in my life. I'm going to try new social activities and see. Its just men i fi d attractive are too shy to approach, even after my signals for them to come and say hi ( exchnaging eye contact several times, smiles)
Great tips! If you want to start attracting “Men” instead of “Boys…” Become a High Value Woman on your Purpose, that way - you become the type of woman that men are naturally attracted to - because you’ll be in High Demand! Men are going to be able to sense that immediately, quality men that is! Men that have their lives together. And therefore, you won’t need to chase them, because they’ll be drawn to you - like a magnet! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Dog parks and on Summer Bryant Park yoga every week 2000 women on the lawn and 2000 men in the bars on the perimeter...no one talks to each other as they are all on their phones
As a guy that's attempting online dating, I can say that girls dont talk to the guys he's referring to. I know I'm not "chad" but know what I offer and I've had one girl respond in 2 months. I think there's just too much option in online dating, so we miss out on things thinking the next swipe will be better. However, while I agree with Matthew's assertion to be where people are, know that guys are told not to ask women out at certain places. I'm an introvert and the gym is one of the few places I go. I'm constantly told not to ask anyone out at the gym, because that's not why women are there🤷♂️
Yeah I mean, unless your in the top 10-15% in physical attractiveness, online dating is going to be brutal. Side note, don't take dating advice from woman. All you actually need to know is if your really good looking you'll be fine. If not, than you need to become really good looking. If you had the personality of a soggy biscuit and the brain capacity of a burnt pop tart but you were really hot, you would still get woman. Being 6 foot is almost critical as well. If your 5'9 40% of women will reject you on your height alone. 5'8 is 50%. Any shorter and the data is absolutely brutal. Point is, just be hot. That's it.
It depends how you approach things. In general, if you're happy with small talk for a while it can work. Vibes are everything. I wouldn't necessarily want to be asked out in my gym, I would really like to make friends there though. So maybe that's another way of doing things. I'm introverted too. Argh.
it needs to be almost instant attraction for me like when I was younger. .. but red flags can happen within days..i was not aware od red flags except the strong feeling I had on our wedding day/ i just knew he would cheat on me one day. 18 years later he did. no excuses he felt guilty what he did to me with a complete stranger.
It was like an everest among of all videos, maybe because I was prepared enough by your previous videos to this one! Thank you 👍 😊 you gave me clear understanding more then any therapy! And any paid coaching
Dating apps suck 5 yrs off n on. No luck. The past 6 years I have attended many Meetup events, hiking, dining, comedy etc.. Still nothing. I've had gym memberships, no luck. I now attend hot yoga, mostly women but I'm not giving my yoga class up in hopes to meet some guy! I go out almost every weekend to Meetup events, and still short...Love must be Divine Timing or something.
To find a high value man. U must be strategic and have a balance in your life. Nowadays, person don't want to make effort to find a high value partner just use online that s the reason because u don't find. It should treat like the process of looking for a job
So what are the activities that men enjoy??? I am into art for example, no men there. I love hiking, no men in the hiking groups too! Are men even interesting in doing something else apart for some gym?
I am not understanding why you Matthew are yet to create your custom online dating app?? Or are you..? It would only make sense because you have your followers that are being guided by your excellent advice & therefore one would assume similar mindsets… All these single people following you so connect them 🙌❤️💖💙
Hi Matt!! Amazing video as always!! I understand what you say but if you are a person who are spirituality and have a healthy and vegan lifestyle with a lot of love in arts is quite difficult to find similar people. I have met my ex in a team with spiritual issues but it was a disaster because the person was diagnosed with a mental health issue and also had serious family problems. I like Asian men but are far way from Greece and in language apps I have encounter sexting, nude videos, ghosting. I feel that is better to find them in a community you like and have interest in.
He's so right about meeting people through other people. Back in 2015, I was noticing all my friends getting married, having kids, and not wanting to do the things we used to. I missed that, so I made a conscious effort to start going to a lot of group activities that appealed to me. During this time, I met a musician. At some point, he asked me on a date. The date didn't work out and we decided to just be friends, but... fast forward to 2018. I'm waiting in line for the doors to open for one of his shows. It's freezing for April and the doors don't open when planned. As time kept ticking and I kept freezing, I looked around and asked the nearest person standing alone if he knew when doors were supposed to open. He didn't know; I said "thanks anyway" and moved back. He then struck up a conversation with me that ended up lasting through the whole show. We're going on 4 years together now and are planning to move in together in the fall. Moral of the story: I put myself out there, met someone who wasn't right for me, but through this person, 3 whole years later(!), I met "my person". Never underestimate the power of going to social versions of your own and many interests; the power of a network is undeniable.
Love your story 💞
You have just inspired me !!!! I've been single since I had my son ...7yrs ago! I've been a busy single Mum but as time ticks on and my child begins to grow up I'm starting to get lonely. I wanna start meeting people.
Well, I have an update... He proposed in July, and we're getting married in June of 2024! With some action and some luck, sometimes dreams do come true... even for a 45 year-old first-time bride! Keep going! 🥰
This is my dream.! What advice can you give me to make something like this a reality ? I’m a little scared to go out by myself, and I have been going to meet ups but nothing yet. But I have met some friends but some are married (with no single colleagues or siblings) or they live far when they invite me or I am just too tired from work to do anything . Im lucky to be able to go out to meet ups on the weekends to hike. Congrats to you btw!!
Y is he moving in w u without asking to marry u after dating for that long. I would be wary
4:24 Do the more sociable version of the things you already like to do
7:20 Frequent places you go to
9:40 Say yes to new people and new places
13:15 Put yourself where other people are
13:24 Be 10% more proactive when there
Nice summary - Wensu!
If you want to start attracting “Men” instead of “Boys…”
Become a High Value Woman on your Purpose, that way - you become the type of woman that men are naturally attracted to - because you’ll be in High Demand!
Men are going to be able to sense that immediately, quality men that is! Men that have their lives together.
And therefore, you won’t need to chase them, because they’ll be drawn to you - like a magnet!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
None of this is working.
seems like a lot of time and energy and totally agree
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 If men are actually able to see your value.
@@BiniBoeva I hear ya!
After 12 years of dating online and 50 terrible dates later I can assure you that online dating is NOT the way to find a guy with a high value!
Be happy that you were able to get 50 dates. Most guys can't get 1 from OLD
@@SuperMurray2009 never thought of that (altho i am sure that's not true, like all are amazing people)! But thanks ❤️❤️❤️ for let me be more positive thinking about these self- esteem lowering n terrible years of dating.
Only 50??? So you had 5 dates per year??
Amen to that!
That means you are the problem
I just wanted to add that volunteering is a great option! You get to do something good, that makes you feel good and you meet some really interesting, friendly people. Bonus is that most are looking to meet people as well😊
And most are women
Volunteer work is dominated by women and the elderly. Unless you're looking for a sugar mama probably nothing there
@@susanparkes5096 who said that?
@@the1stmetalhead I did, because that is my experience.
@@susanparkes5096 I guess you’re somewhat right but isn’t it mostly older married woman? Very rarely you would see someone young in their teens or 20s working at these places.
Lately, I joined a new gym and I started noticing these cool guys, which are quite shy to say anything first. So I decided to ease the effort and say something casual myself like "oh, how many sets have you got left?", "do you need these?", "could you help me?", "do you know how it works, show me". So giving them the platform to talk to me and showing them that I'm approachable, makes it easier for them to do the next step and ask for my number.
Thankyou for doing this!
Yesterday I met an attractive, high-quality man who could easily be my “soulmate” while at the auto place getting new tires of all places. 😂 Unfortunately, he was married, so it turned out to be only a very sweet, platonic 20-minute conversation about mutual interests and values and then moving on. But it proves that if you are open and friendly you can draw quality people into your life. 💕
i never understood this soulmate thing. You are attracted to another, you feel to "click". That's great but what it has to do with being a "soul-mate"?
@@Adi-xs5dw it is the soul fish union, they got their hooks in this back in Roman times
@@Adi-xs5dw (long answer, whoops!) I believe in reincarnation and that before we come down here (between lives) we have a “soul group” (for lack of a better term) which who are essentially our tribe/classmates/what-have-you who show up in our lives to either support or prompt us to learn lessons while we are in “Earth school.” They can be in our lives for a reason, a season (even a 20-minute season), or a lifetime. I believe my beautiful children are my soulmates, and my ex-husband (who was… challenging), and my abusive mom, and a whole host of positive and negative people in my life. I don’t believe in one romantic “soulmate,” as in “the great love of my life,” however. I used to, but life happens and I don’t now. I believe love is a choice, and while we can love others deeply, we don’t really *need* them to be happy or complete us. That’s our job, and a romantic partner is the icing on the cake. I’ve been struggling because I can’t bring myself to do online dating (even signed up - it’s just too overwhelming and inauthentic) and this guy was a lovely reminder that it IS possible to meet a quality person in real life by just being yourself and open and friendly. I needed that affirmed and it was a beautiful lesson.
All very woo-wooey, I know! But I’m under no delusion there is only one perfect person out there for each of us. It would be nice, but I don’t believe it if I’m honest.
As far as attraction goes, that’s different. You can be attracted to and “click” with someone for all kinds of good and bad reasons: friendship, sex/hormones, trauma bonding, ego/attention seeking. I’ve met plenty of people I was attracted to and clicked with but will forget about in a month. This was a memorable (albeit platonic for the obvious reasons) connection.
@@aleewoolley Appreciate your time to answer. I'm not here to question your belief, it's all good. One other spiritual way to see is that everyone who we encounter and have an effect on us is a teacher is some way or form. Doesn't have to be soulmate to my definition. Authentic guys are there too.
My sister met a high value man reroofing our dad's house! She asked him out and they became bf & gf, very much in love, but tragically he died of a heart attack. :(
True story. In 2019 I decided to audition for a part in a community theatre production. I’m not an actor and have zero acting experience. (As a trial lawyer, I am not shy and I am quite articulate). When I got to the audition, there were over 150 very good looking, personable people already there (there were only 4 parts in the play). So I started asking questions of the others who attended the audition. Some had a ton of acting credits. Nearly all had headshots. I had no acting credits, and no headshot. Every single person waiting at the audition with me was super kind and very encouraging to me. I wasn’t looking to meet new people (I have a terrific, beautiful girlfriend). When I left the audition, I couldn’t help but to think what a great place to meet terrific people. So get out there and do something new. Get out of your comfort zone. Good luck!
Did you get a part in the play???
@@WeaponizeCelibacyToDestroyXYs No. But I had so much fun!
I go to concerts/shows a lot, but see lots of married people or groups of women. A couple weeks ago I went to a classic album concert and discovered a lot of single men there. I need to go to more of those! Great show too.
I have been asking God to help me manifest my person, my partner. Last night I prayed about it. This morning I find your channel. I believe this is an answer. Already, just by watching this video I feel I have a better chance of meeting someone beautiful and kind. I tend to be a hermit. I’m an artist and I spend most of my time alone. I’m going to take this video’s advice seriously and start going more places and put in 10% when I see someone I like.
This whole concept of God is troubling to me. I mean does God even have a partner? Did Jesus turn all that water into wine just to drink all the disciples under the table? Can the son of God even get drunk? That would have been one hell of a pub crawl though. "Jesus", slurs Peter "turn Judas into a duck again!"
And because of the holy trinity, if Jesus is drunk, does that mean God and the holy spirits are drunk too?
@@QuizidomoBe not deceived; God is not mocked.
Online dating is the worst. I have yet to meet someone in recent memory that I’ve talked to that I actually would want to be in a relationship with. 😢
Narcissist predators abound on ALL dating sites!
nah online dating is not so bad
It’s really repetitive and tiring but when it works it’s amazing
Absolutely! You nailed it on the head
@@lorrainea6177 yes! The psychopaths who love bomb are so real! Just had to extract myself from that last week!
I’m surrounded by attractive athletic men all the time because I snowboard, skate, and surf. Not because I’m looking but because it’s my life’s passion. The right men see that and they seek me out. I don’t have to do anything special, which is something I learned after trying online dating briefly. Hated those apps and deleted them shortly. Personally, a man’s height or appearance is not as important to me as his personality, attachment style, and I’ll admit his skills on a board.
I'm a guy trying to get the girl i want and I have to say Matthew hussey you have helped me so much with your advice , I just reverse your videos from the girl wanting to get the guy to the guy wanting to get the girl.
Did you get the girl?
Are you dating now??
i am doing the same :D
This is actually good advice tbh. I'm tired of hearing people say "Just join a club lol" like its that simple. But when you go in depth like this it makes far more sense
as a man you get this advice often but I don't want to join a yoga or horse riding class
I met the love of my life on Bumble. We chatted (video and call) for a couple weeks before we had our first date, because we lived in different provinces in Japan. I don't think it matters where you meet people, it's all about the vibes you give off, your ability to judge someone's character and taking things slow. There are good and bad guys everywhere.
You are the exception not the rule. There are more traumatic stories from online dating than there are success stories.
@@Ashcinnamon My cousin got married after meeting her man on a dating app. It works for many people. Dating apps just give you more options than walking around your neighbourhood. It's your job to keep your standards high and not settle on the first guy who asks you out. Traumatic stories come from people who settled on 💩 people.
@@dannahfam it's a lot harder to weed out the 💩 when you have no knowledge of a person's background. They can deceive and put up a front of being anyone they like until it's too late to stop being hurt or at least having your time and effort completely wasted.
@@susanparkes5096 Guys do that in real life too, though, not just on dating apps. Dating apps just give you more numbers so it seems worse, percentage wise.
Granted, it is generally better to meet people through friends. However, I've never been interested in my friends' male friends. They're either already married or they are difficult to like.
@@Ashcinnamon So true. Have you also watched 'He's just not that into you'? 😂 This is an advice Alex gives to Gigi, which like poooof! opened my mind when I heard it.
Matt should have a 2 week social event for both single men/ women in a beach city (all ages). Have ppl apply wit application to attend. Or a single cruise off Ft Lauderdale, Matt can host it. 🙏🏻💙
I bet this would be like some leadership events I have been to where its like weird everyone is competent LOL!
That sounds like a great idea! 🤩
@@browmi03 Maybe just a get together with ppl that are not players or easy just wanting a decent high value person. Or settle like my sisters, partners on the job did. Who knows ??? God? Lol
That’s a great idea . I’m in ☺️
Cruise … Chav idea..
The problem is not to meet men but to meet SINGLE men. I meet men everywhere I go but most of them are not single and those who are... well... 😬
YES
are men.
A person who is single is less attractive than a person in a healthy relationship. Look through today to see how they will be after your company has enrichened them, and vise versa.
Sorry to say but part of the problem is your life situation. High quality men want a woman who has never been married with no kids. To find a man willing to date a single mom, you may need to lower your standards.
Same. Married men keep hitting on me and I'm like damn, why is there no single dudes ! Go back to your wife, you dawg!! LoL! Makes me wonder if all men flirt with women even if they're married 🤔
I heard great advice earlier this year: Imagine you're seeing someone right now, and he/she is going out for a guy/girl's night with friends. Where do you imagine that person is gonna go or where you want that person to go? Well, you should go to that place to try and meet that person
I loved this so much, I wrote it down. Thanks for sharing!
I think most of the time they're either going to a bar, nightclub, or restaurant which aren't necessarily the best places to meet people. i.e bars.
@@hardywatkins7737 . Ur saying absolutely right. I'm agree with your words.
@@ramparkash2318 yeah Ram, if it's a bar you'll likely find the only thing you have in common is a love for alcohol.
@@hardywatkins7737 you well said again. Yet I have not use alcohol. in future I will try how it is..
Ideas i have motorbike shows, antique fairs, car shows, travel, tours, sailing trips, country clubs, conferences, having lunch in quality areas, art galleries. Mind you ive not had much luck
it's depressing I really want to settle down 😢 I hate being single
Online dating is hard . I think it's too easy for guys and instead of them asking me for a drink or a walk, they're asking if they can get a hotel for us , before us ever meeting.
For me this is shocking, that a guy I haven't seen in my life is so blatant about just wanting sex with me, without putting any effort at all.
I just want to meet a decent guy, who's interested in getting to know me as a person, not focusing only on sex :/
To easy for guys? Are you insane? Lol the average woman will have 100s if not 1000s of matches in a few days on online dating. The average man gets single digits.
The problem woman have is their only chasing the top 15% of guys.
Most guys get 2 replies a month online. You are talking about seasoned players, not guys.
Are you like daft or something? Online dating is nowhere near easy for men.
Your comment is hilarious. Shows how detached women are from the male dating experience.
That guy is that bold because women do it because he's the top dog on there. You and every other woman on there are vying for him.
You're not special to him. That's the cold hard truth.
Most men get no matches or messages on dating apps.
@@jimraynor7788 There's nothing hilarious about my comment, I'm talking purely from my experience .
I do agree with you though, that guys are so bold, because unfortunately some women do it, which makes it hard for women who don't go to bed with a guy ,they haven't been seeing in a while first .
As a young man their doesn't seem to be many quality people on the dating apps.
Presentation is everything, it's a very superficial world now.
I have no problem finding dates though nothing progresses to a relationship because being treated with disrespect is the end. "saying sorry without changing actions is considered manipulation."
Keep focus and keep putting yourself out there! In gods time!
When I smiled at a person (let's consider this the 10% proactive) from my gym (a place where I liked going and was really excited to go) that I recently joined and liked a guy, we started talking the next day and became friends. Unfortunately that was it because of certain circumstances but I smiled and he started the conversation so confirmation i guess lmao.
I remember waaaay back you had mentioned doing the most social versions of our favorite activities, and I'm an artist, so I found this to be a bit more difficult...I do however absolutely agree with trying out new activities and seeing new places, so I have been using this strategy and taking more trips (locally). If nothing else, just getting out more, has made me feel a bit more empowered too. 😊
Art galleries or shows. At supplies shops. Good luck finding a like minded man!
I don't know your art form, but I paint. I also like nature (but don't paint it). I bought a travel bag and packed up my materials and some inspirational music (low volume) and painted at my local park or off a hiking trail. People will literally come up to you to introduce themselves. I had some great experiences and met some awesome people. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, but in retrospect, it would have been a great opportunity to meet someone.
Art classes to further your skills in other areas maybe?
I work in the art world (making historical costumes for film) but I love trying other forms of art, the most recent was taking a pottery class, the next I'm thinking could be a woodwork class, but going off what Matthew is saying, maybe I'll opt for a few sessions rather then individual class?! Maybe you could consider the same but in your more favourable art forms, maybe life drawing or portrait class or attempt a different medium in a class like chalk/pencil/other types of paint 😊
Maybe think of it in a less literal way. Instead of thinking only art shows and museums think of poetry reading, story slams, concerts, improv or theater, dancing, writing groups. Places where creative types are more likely to be and make yourself known to be an artist so others can talk to you about your interests.
I love your reply! Artists are literally alone or around people that are not dating prospects! New people have to have time to understand and appreciate.
It's like he's saying go to a coffee shop for coffee unless you don't like coffee. Ugh!
We are all energy and we aminate it outwards. When we go places we meet those that match that energy, so it does not matter where you go, more so it is important where you frequency is. There are so many stories about I met my perfect guy at the store, at the airport, at the train station, in the cinema, all those moments which are one in a million kind... well all it tells us is that at the moment both people were holding the same frequency and they matched.. whoever we meet we are meant to in order to learn a lesson, and sometimes we are meant to meet that person we were hoping for ..
That’s bullshit
@@Babesinthewood97 Agreed. The law of attraction is pseudoscientific nonsense
Only works when you are a hot girl. When you are average like me nobody ever approaches
Truth
Yesterday I watched a Matt video where he said don't go for someone with similar interests but similar values! 🤷♂️
I loved it. That's true, but nowadays I think is difficult to find a person who want a real relationship
Thanks Matt. Needed to hear this. Booking plans to put myself in different environments, places etc.💪
my problem with no.3 is - I already do this, but sooner or later all those new people find partners (or already had them), so I see them less and they usually also don’t have single friends. it’s kind of a downer if you remain the single friend in all friend groups and always have to find new people and the cycle continues 🙃
Haha 😂
Same experience I’ve had over the years…67 Yrs young….I’ve done all these..talk & get cell # or emails then they’re not interested in adding new relationships whether it was a guy I was attracted to or making new friend…even called but either have their “tribe” of established friends or on guys get voicemail & leave message then nothing. I live in Ohio small college town…..so frustrating & lonely as now my younger friends married with children & live in other states.
My passion for films…”Ides of March”-Clooney…back Bkgrnd extra…traveled to DC solo…National Mail & Smithsonian…France-Paris-Cannes 2017…exchanged cell# & emails …. but again same result…
If had bullet trains or monorail transportation in USA would help in connecting…
Main problem I run into is not connecting w others looking for same relationships…
Love this video & all of them.
Thanks
Maybe it’s Midwest location….
I’m open to solutions😊👍? Thanks
I'm in the midwest too, age 70, very small town so no classes, very few activities. In the past I did join the clubs for 3+ years before Covid hit (photography, gardening, knitting, church, political activities, went to the gym, etc.) but everyone was married, everyone, and no one asked me to other activities or events. I have often run into the "tribe" thing, meaning people have their group of friends and aren't interested in meeting new people. The joke around here is if you haven't lived in this town for 20 years, you're a newcomer. I have dogs that I walk regularly and have asked others to join me on a walk but I always get the answer "Sounds fun, I'm busy this week but let's talk soon ..." I'm a writer and editor, in two writer's groups but yes, every person in those groups is married too, and it seems in the midwest singles and marrieds don't mix. I have lunch or coffee with women friends I've met, but am never invited to their house or any event or activity where their spouse is present-it's all girls or nothing. Years ago 1970s and 1980s when I lived in Northern California, it wasn't like that-people were interested in meeting new people and inviting them to do things and reciprocating. Is it the times? Or is it the place? Maybe I will have to move to a city? At least one larger than the 12,000 in my city? I'm a huge fan of Jane Austen and wish the regular balls were still held in small towns like they were then! I guess the bars have taken their place? Unfortunately the bars around here are hardcore, not the friendly pub like Cheers or like those in Ireland or England. @@suslyn9811
that’s it i’m going to Bingo tonight. wish me luck everyone thanks 🕶🎰🍀
🤣🤣🤣 Good luck
@@susanparkes5096 omg thank you ! i actually won one round (in a room of 200 people) - it was $20 but just was excited to win lol !
@@ggbellz no 'high quality man' though 🤔
I'm trying to recover from severe depression at the moment without using meds. I am attending any group activity I can reasonably do. I attend the after-church 'social and coffee' even though I'm not a Christian, I'm attending a free art workshop (that's been the best for meeting women particularly even though it's not my main goal), the library, coffee mornings, I'm doing some food bank type volunteer work also and I've met a good many new people this year. I live in an average sized but not very busy town so I really have to use what is available, but with some effort and regularity I am indeed meeting new people.
If some people are struggling to find love and are tired of using social media to pick up people, that can be one other good way to meet people, because you put yourself out in public showing all the guys what you do for fun, they suddenly see you having a good time while you’re being your true self and the higher chance of one of those guys that was in the room with you will approach you to check you out! Because they find you attractive, the same thing can happen to men too if they are also looking for love with a woman 🥰
Problem arises for rural people like myself- I go to town once a week or so and spend the rest of the time just gardening and working on my house and property. I've taken a part time job with a catering company but the events are mostly young weddings so not quite my demographic but at least it gets me out. I'm in an area that used to be farms but is now subdivisions, so the Saturday livestock auction is no more- it used to be a huge meeting place. Who would have thought we would be so disconnected in the modern world.
I need to put more effort into this whole thing, but good grief it's 20 bucks in fuel just to go into town and back.....
I'm in a similar situation. I'm a young man (30 years old) living in a town of 3,500 people. As far as I can tell, there are no single young women (or men, for that matter) here at all. Only families and older people. All my dating prospects, and my entire social life, are 30+ minutes away. I've also found that the idea that "everyone knows everyone in a small town" is only true if you grew up there. If you're a newcomer, it's a struggle to meet anyone.
Wow. That sounds like the life I have dreamed of you have there! I want a good relationship with farming lol ✨ ✨
I have met incredible people in reallife that I would never have met through dating apps. All my dating apps dates were mediocre to trahs, and in real life, I just kept striking up dates that were way better (although we were never compatible enough). Since I realised that, I go the real life route for me personally. The past few month I felt like I did huge steps forward in understanding my true self, my intentions and what I am looking for in other people and it goes uphill ever since. I sometimes feel like Im living „how I met your mother“ (father in my case hahaha)
Tao Prosperity Counseling -- "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
Here's the full scripture from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
Thank you for sharing your wisdom Matthew. Totally agree! My main issue- spending more time with regular people and I find it hard / uncomfortable to say ‘yes’ to new people. I definitely have to change .
You are really beautiful
Hi Matthew, any advice for finding love when you’re chronically ill ( and very limited in terms of energy, and vulnerable health) ?
I'm a man who sometimes enjoys listening to this channel, and I have met many women at the gym . Also, I'm in a bike club, which I have also met a few women . If you like physical activity and men or women who are in shape, I highly recommend trying this
I dated quite a bit when I was younger. Most of it was via online because even though I’m an ambivert, I have a much higher percentage of introversion. It’s important to know your likes and dislikes, be honest with yourself and others, and look for those who share similar values. I was fortunate enough to find a high-value guy who shares lots of common interests with me via Match. We’ve been together for 21 years, 19 of those married 💗
love to hear those stories because it gives me hope 😅
Here’s the problem, when you’re an introvert, it makes the whole process even more stressful. I get nervous during work meetings and in groups of people. I’m even more nervous around someone I like at the beginning. Seems like extroverts have the upper hand, since they get their energy around other people, vs someone who is drained after social situations. Then again, I would much rather put myself out there, then to continue scrolling where most men just lie about what they want on there anyways. Atleast if I met someone in person, I could approach the situation more realistically instead of building up expectations in my head based on a few attributes listed on a dating profile.
Your first date should be a light low stress environment, somewhere quiet but public. I like a nice pub (London) on a weekday evening. In the USA that might be coffee in the daytime.
@@simontmn Say NO to cofee dates!! Level up women!!
@@luisavieira2985 Personally I hate coffee dates, ideal first date is a nice quiet bar or wine bar.
I’ve had the same problem as well. I tend to overhype expectations in my head and have to struggle to bring them back down to reality. I don’t like to lead the conversation because I worry that I might become too domineering. Don’t worry, you are not alone.
@@dead-prophet You do need to be ready to lead; but you also need to leave plenty of space and be engaged with what the other person is saying.
Get comfortable chatting up everybody! Then when you meet that attractive stranger, you won’t be tongue tied
Felt like a Family Feud episode..'name a place where attractive men hang out?'
Jamieson and Stephen were a bit slow on the buzzer though ;)
I love paddle boarding..it's relaxing and you meet all kinds of people..it's also great excercise for the whole body and mind... much better than meeting one in the local gym or grocery store.
It’s ice skating for me 🙋🏻♀️every week i see new people at the rink and i meet more and more skaters whether hockey or figure. It’s amazing 🤩
What's SUP
@@Quizidomo supping is up...Stand Up Paddleboarding
Great ideas Matthew! I´m curious...where/how did you meet your fiancé?
Thanks for your recommendations. Actually, I have been applying some of those tips. But, I think the most important is "Who". I know what kind of people I don't have in my life. I'm open to know new people who make me better person.
Love it :)
Really refreshing ideas. I can do 10% more.
Brazilian Jui Jitsu is a great way to meet quality men. These men are dedicated, in excellent physical shape, and come from a variety of backgrounds.
I joined a gym and learning a lot but don't find anyone there attractive tbh
@@lightofall if you're a modern woman, that doesn't surprise me at all. The traits that husbands exhibit are found in Jui Jitsu gyms. The traits used to be a held in the highest esteem by the opposite sex. Instead, the modern woman prioritizes instant gratification. Prioritizes the traits found in players, the Chads, Tyromes. As far as physical attractiveness goes, it's the least important trait in the determination of a successful long term relationship that will last decade after decade.
A high value man does not “hang out” in a specific area. They are all over………and they know their value. They don’t chase, play games or do anything that the majority does. They may be having lunch alone……..it’s that person that everyone is looking at………..because they are fascinated because they are doing something different than most. A wealthy, single, quality man does not advertise wealth. He can also spot a quality woman, but most of the time women cannot spot him……..because they are too much up in their head, from past relationships. A relationship is about BOTH people putting in an effort. Lose the “attitude”
very well said
@Tom. You write as if from experience. Do you eat lunch alone?
Tom, I’m reading this from northern Virginia in the US. What general area are you from? I’m wondering where common sense is located…I like your answer.
@@avyannadean Somebody has been listening
where I live, there IS a specific area where high value men hang out. It's called The Magic Spot. BTW, great comment, especially the point about BOTH people putting in effort. So many women think men should put in all/most of the effort while the women observe to see if the effort is good enough. I can smell those women pretty easily and avoid them like covid.
I’m doing most of these things now. I’m also chatting with people and asking if they have any single friends 😂 I think it’s only a matter of time. I’ve made new friends though !
I've actually learnt a whole lot from this video....
I'm gonna try doing the most social version of my favorite activities.
I'm beginning to think this dating app of a thing is a total waste of time and energy. Still wandering if one can
really meet high value and responsible guys on
dating and blue app.
I like your ideas on how to meet a partner.
The first thing I tell people not to do is go online. Let's face it, people lie and the Internet is the best place to do so.
Everyone has a hobby. So take a class for the particular hobby. If you don't meet someone there, going out with that group of people will increase your chances of meeting someone you have something in common with.
I'm thinking about studying psychology and I have a feeling I'll find a nice guy there 👀 let's see if I'm right haha I'll do two things (three actually, cause I feel like I need more friends, people that understand me and who I can talk to about the same interests): experiencing studying psychology that I love so much aaand maybe finding a good man who will like me and we can start a relationship =)
That's easy said than done for a person with social anxiety. It is really hard
also everyone is with people not alone
Have tried loads of things from 20’s plus (now 59); dance classes of differing types, volunteering, wine tasting course, adult ed. classes.. No luck for relationships (or even friends). As a low income single parent, have been trying on-line for a few years: get a few dates but not the right type of person with the right circumstances..
Were you going to places that your potential partner would be interested in? I strongly doubt a suitor would be attending wine tasting courses.
Will there men going to wine tasting courses sure, some many? No
Do you have good female friends? You need to start with the basics and develop a solid friendship group so you are socially competent, then get used to talking with men - male friends are good - building up to being the kind of 59 year old woman that a high quality 65 year old guy would like to have on his arm. :) Make sure you take care of your appearance, your house should be reasonably tidy, and your attitude should be playful & positive.
@@simontmn Yes - I have a few close female friends, who are all married save for 1: so it’s day-time socialising as evenings/weekends they r with husbands. My interests attract couples & women and not single men!
@@topnotch8432 Actually, cultured men do go to wine tastings (I know some who do) & may do wine courses.. (though I found in my area it was attended by couples only)
@@simontmn Sadly two of my close male friends died of cancer (both I met when we were mature students). Since being 40+ (compounded by being a low income single parent), I found I simply don’t meet single men!
1. In a library
2 in a fashionable Cafe (NOT Starbucks)
3. At an members airport lounge
I like number three. An interesting option. That would tick a few boxes and beats the pub and an app. 💐🙏🏾
golf courses
art galleries
casinos are a shot in the dark but you never know
I like to go to board gaming meet ups. I do this anyway because I love board games (not your typical ones, btw, but rather, hobbyist board games). But boy is it a great place to meet men. There is an unbalanced ratio at these events! It's probably 5 to 1 male to female. Bonus? Lots of smart guys! Downside: physical fitness is not always valued by gamers. Still, it's pretty great. Haven't found my person yet, but have been asked out a lot. Bonus: you see the same people over and over at the recurring events, plus new people, which gives you a chance to get to know them on a deeper level, and make good friends. ALSO! After a good strategy game, we will often play a more social game (like Secret Hitler, Blood on the Clocktower, or Codenames). These games are AMAZING for creating flirting/banter opportunities and tension, and also lots and lots of laughter... it's AWESOME for creating connection.
Great talk! Very high quality info here, you make VERY good points.. thank you so much for the advice! I will be looking into more of your videos!!
Indoor climbing complex, more accessible for beginners than surfing 😁🙈🤣 super cute guys
I just want to meet someone older, hardworking, firm leader, has a business or project he works on which he is passionate in, he is financially literate and successful. I just want to meet someone like that.
Me too maybe finance meetings and conferences or hotel business conferences perhaps
Why go somewhere general to meet someone when that place does not define your interests or your soul? Personally, it is much more likely I meet someone interesting when I am just out for a hike. I've been bitten with smitten out there much more than once. I also find an easy smile is a magnet to people. Just a quick shy smile says plenty. A subtle signal is very important. Finally we all have our quirks for signals. If I see an active lady with her hair pulled back in a pony tail under a ball cap, I AM going to smile! .... by the way, if you can't get "out" there every day, go join a social media group that defines your most loved interests. It works. .... P.S. All the comments on this video were pretty enlightening. Thanks for them!
Where I live everyone got a dog, pandemic effect? See a lot of young men with dogs, so I use my two year old to interact with them, win win 🤣
Hello Matt ....safe and happy sunday,nice to see and hear from your new today🙏 watching from Riyadh KSA 🙏
As a man in a new small town, I tried:
- Working out in a gym for a year, 3 times a week. The only "friend" I made was an old fat man.
- I volunteered in the local animal shelter. I was so bullish about it, because I love animals and it was like 80% females there. Well... It didn't work. I just got out of it after 6 months.
Nice recap and confirmation of what I was doing right. Thank you.
Matthew another beautiful viedo from you. So inspiring. Nice sharing. Beautiful see to watch.
Grocery store would never happen lol ppl are in a rush to get what they need not talk to someone new unless you look like a model
I disagree. Bump into a man's shopping cart, smile and see the results. If you looked like a model most men would not even dare to start a conversation with you.
I think that applies mostly for women
Beautiful video 😊🙌🏽🌸💋 I hit all but 2 of the points. So I see my value and see where I have work to do. Thank you for sharing this!
Tip for women to meet someone in a supermarket: don’t power walk through the aisles with your headphones on like your on a mission. Look approachable
Good tip! That’s one of my places I hope to meet a person.
@@JenFromCa84 also, drop a lot of things
Haha...got it!
Yeah what is it with headphones on everywhere all the time? I miss the 90s
I order my groceries online.. I wish you could see my local supermarket! 😂
This was really a good talk I am an old girl who doesn't get about very much but you have made a few good points,thankyou Matt.
Adding this video to my favourites. It ties up nicely with my plans post retreat. ❤. Love how you rope Jameson into your conversations...😁😁 X
LOVE how during the LIVE retreat Stephen was talking on Day #6 and he said, "and don't worry a lot of my references won't include Jujutsu" although; low and behold, and Matthew asks, "where you can find high value men?" and .....cue commentary from Stephen as he says..."Jujutsu!" BABHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this was terrific!
Thank you though for saying that we can find people where our interests are! I feel I need to get out to a concert, bar, or social events to meet guys when I can just do things I actually want to do!!! STUFF leads to STUFF! Thanks!
I long to be thrown head over heels by the woman I love
I did a tough mudder and I brought a guy with me! I wish I had gone single though so I could have met a guy!
Thank you so much for these 3 tips 🤓 really eye opening. I’ll go make a list of sociable variants of my favorite activities 😊
Needed this. I’ve become a hermit
Ladies, tennis and golf are the best places. Not only are those activities done by athletic men, but since they can be expensive (especially golf), those are men with disposable income (if that appeals to you) Not a lot of women are in golf so there’s less competition - you stand out easier There’s potential for trips etc There’s also growing interest in cycling and line / step dance. Wanna catch prey, got to where the prey is.
You want something that maxxes social interaction opportunities, so casual team sports & classes probably better than lone activities like eg swimming, my interest (though the bikini chicks/hot dudes are a plus!)
I go every so often to have lunch at the local golf course patio as it's a nice place and closest decent place to me. Problem at golf courses if you aren't golfing is the people are usually in groups.
@@Chahlieyea it looks weird alone
Hi Sir...Thanks for this amazing content and words of wisdom . It reaches to the conclusion that High Value Men is the "Person Being their self just as the way they are .It's truly magnetically attractive and bleeds into the other areas of relationship +vely .It's open up a new world of good feeling that is a confidence to personal power , because creating the life and love has little to do with outside givings and havings . Thanks Sir for this big one and many more to come .Much care and Regards 💝
I am a introverted type person and have a disability I feel so shy, vulnerable and exposed, taken out of my comfort zone, I really don't think a guy would want a person who is disabled, way too much responsibility for a guy I was used and abused by men most of my life as well, so I really don't think I can meet that special person
Introverted guys want introverted wife’s. I don’t like girls that are too out there. Find a guy that is more of an introvert
I relate to your story. There is hope! Don't give up x
You have very good ideas! I always enjoy your videos!
I really like his advices but stuff like that never ever happened to me. I have never dated a person that I was training with or went to school with or met in any real life situation. These kind of storys sound like a myth to me
Damn….so this means I’m not going to meet the man of my dreams in my house hanging out with my dog because that’s where I am 🤣🤣🤣
I walk slowly in the grocery store with no headphones, and are very open and smiling and approachable. Men are just way too intimidated to even speak. Same with the gym. I've been going to the gym for e months and have gotten 3 hellos... but nothing farther than that... I'm always alone, even will go to bar restaurant and eat alone in hopes to meet someone. But I'm very confident being alone and I'm very happy in my life. I'm going to try new social activities and see. Its just men i fi d attractive are too shy to approach, even after my signals for them to come and say hi ( exchnaging eye contact several times, smiles)
nobdy is shy, they just donw want a looser who is alone all the time, lol.. here you go, thats the logic you give to the other side.. ahhh, so fun.
I love this video- simple, practical and realistic advice.
Man this just changed my perspective soooooo much!
Or you could create your own dating site🥰🥰🥰
Great tips! If you want to start attracting “Men” instead of “Boys…”
Become a High Value Woman on your Purpose, that way - you become the type of woman that men are naturally attracted to - because you’ll be in High Demand!
Men are going to be able to sense that immediately, quality men that is! Men that have their lives together.
And therefore, you won’t need to chase them, because they’ll be drawn to you - like a magnet!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Most men like women half their age, no matter how uneducated they are or their values or their “quality”…
they care just about aesthetics
Very helpful! I've really been struggling with this lately
Dog parks and on Summer Bryant Park yoga every week 2000 women on the lawn and 2000 men in the bars on the perimeter...no one talks to each other as they are all on their phones
As a guy that's attempting online dating, I can say that girls dont talk to the guys he's referring to. I know I'm not "chad" but know what I offer and I've had one girl respond in 2 months. I think there's just too much option in online dating, so we miss out on things thinking the next swipe will be better. However, while I agree with Matthew's assertion to be where people are, know that guys are told not to ask women out at certain places. I'm an introvert and the gym is one of the few places I go. I'm constantly told not to ask anyone out at the gym, because that's not why women are there🤷♂️
Yeah, its more of creepy guys checking us out.
U should give it a try at the gym
@@michelleisplanning women consider 80 percent of guys creepy
Yeah I mean, unless your in the top 10-15% in physical attractiveness, online dating is going to be brutal.
Side note, don't take dating advice from woman. All you actually need to know is if your really good looking you'll be fine. If not, than you need to become really good looking.
If you had the personality of a soggy biscuit and the brain capacity of a burnt pop tart but you were really hot, you would still get woman.
Being 6 foot is almost critical as well. If your 5'9 40% of women will reject you on your height alone. 5'8 is 50%. Any shorter and the data is absolutely brutal.
Point is, just be hot. That's it.
It depends how you approach things. In general, if you're happy with small talk for a while it can work. Vibes are everything. I wouldn't necessarily want to be asked out in my gym, I would really like to make friends there though. So maybe that's another way of doing things.
I'm introverted too. Argh.
Very good advices. Thank you for your Empathy. New Life in some way. Rooms to grow thank you so much, Mat!!!
.
it needs to be almost instant attraction for me like when I was younger. .. but red flags can happen within days..i was not aware od red flags except the strong feeling I had on our wedding day/ i just knew he would cheat on me one day. 18 years later he did. no excuses he felt guilty what he did to me with a complete stranger.
It was like an everest among of all videos, maybe because I was prepared enough by your previous videos to this one! Thank you 👍 😊 you gave me clear understanding more then any therapy! And any paid coaching
Yes join a Jiu Jitsu gym. There are so many guys and we need more women on the mat. Plus it’s so much fun.
Done I need to go more but it wears me out
What kind of ppl join this gym just curious?
😂
Dating apps suck 5 yrs off n on. No luck. The past 6 years I have attended many Meetup events, hiking, dining, comedy etc.. Still nothing. I've had gym memberships, no luck. I now attend hot yoga, mostly women but I'm not giving my yoga class up in hopes to meet some guy! I go out almost every weekend to Meetup events, and still short...Love must be Divine Timing or something.
In my experience it’s when you’re not hunting that a man finds his way to you
To find a high value man. U must be strategic and have a balance in your life. Nowadays, person don't want to make effort to find a high value partner just use online that s the reason because u don't find. It should treat like the process of looking for a job
thank you so much for the rewind marker on spotify
Can’t we just clone Matthew Hussey? 🙈🙈❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful BEAUTIFUL and useful advices, thank you so much 🙏 a shy hi 👋 from an introvert 😁
Do you come here often?
Absolutely loved this one and yeh one should try different scene and get wider outlook about people
So what are the activities that men enjoy??? I am into art for example, no men there. I love hiking, no men in the hiking groups too! Are men even interesting in doing something else apart for some gym?
No, and I can't even stand the gym. The only reason leave the house is for work or bootie calls.
Looool yes most men now are porn addicts
Very nice tips n tricks n advices . I am going. To change my focus from Where to who :)
I am not understanding why you Matthew are yet to create your custom online dating app??
Or are you..? It would only make sense because you have your followers that are being guided by your excellent advice & therefore one would assume similar mindsets… All these single people following you so connect them 🙌❤️💖💙
Hi Matt!! Amazing video as always!! I understand what you say but if you are a person who are spirituality and have a healthy and vegan lifestyle with a lot of love in arts is quite difficult to find similar people. I have met my ex in a team with spiritual issues but it was a disaster because the person was diagnosed with a mental health issue and also had serious family problems. I like Asian men but are far way from Greece and in language apps I have encounter sexting, nude videos, ghosting. I feel that is better to find them in a community you like and have interest in.
Same please more places for vegan or the like 🙏 this is perfect
I am going to be brave. ❤