The #1 Trait That Makes Him Respect & Admire You!
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
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A famous person once said...STOP LETTING PEOPLE WHO DO SO LITTLE FOR YOU CONTROL SO MUCH OF YOUR MIND, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS. ..This I've decided to do to family, friends or foes.
Ill keep this one...Thanks much for sharing 💖💖
Thanks for these words
Me too, Will Smith said it too
Forget other people though - stop letting YOUR emotions control YOU. I think that's the most important point to be taken from the video. Our emotions are a part of us, but they are not ALL of us.
Jasmon2020 Yes, sooo true: I have heard this before too!!! Been there with family, friends, partners & foes, lol!!! NEVER be SOOO available: ie: a TOTAL DOORMAT to be WALKED ALL OVER AND "CLIMB MOUNTAINS FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULDN'T EVEN CROSS THE ROAD FOR YOU!!!": another well known saying, but I can't remember who said it or where I heard or read it, lol??!! WE MUST DEFINITELY CHANGE OUR WHOLE WAY OF THINKING AND HOW WE SEE OURSELVES AND HOW WE LET OTHERS TREAT US AND WALK ALL OVER US (WE ARE NOT DOORMATS) AND START VALUING OURSELVES SOOO MUCH MORE HIGHLY AND THEN WE WILL BE TREATED WITH THE RESPECT WE SOOO DESERVE!!! 🤔🤗😇👏👏👏
Dont give in too much in the beginning, let him earn it. Be brave to walk away anytime, you worth more than he thinks you deserve. If he cares enough he will try harder to keep you.
Kiss Kam Thank you
Kiss Kam
Thank you 👌
What if the girl already made the mistake of confessing too early to the man. And the man could have been interested...but lost interest, coz the girl was too fast! What to do now? Is it a lost cause now?
Thanks
@@seventhloven5982 Dont ever lower your standards as a woman. Be strong and brave and live your life. If he is meant to be in your life he will come back.
PUNISH indecisiveness by BACKING OFF. You will gain soo much power and respect
True . It’s exhausting to keep guessing if he is with me or is he just passing his time and waiting until he finds a better option . I blocked him now . I deserve somone who values and respcts me and is sure about me .
@@surbhighildiyal1735 exactly...too stressful if they are indecisive....
@@stefaniemcgivern4519 Don't punish. If he was indecisive, perhaps you are better off without him?
@@coreycox2345 yes of course :)
The day I told him what I wanted and inserted boundaries in the relationship he started respecting me. He knew where I stood and were he stood. Game changer.
how? i wanna know
@@atikhahamran I just sat with him and had a serious conversation on the lines of: "This is what I want in this relationship: a, b, c and d". If you want the same thing and we're on the same page all is good, if on the contrary this is not what you want then... the door is there". It was a polite "take it or leave it", he decided to take it and we're still together. Now he knows were I stand and what I want and if he messes up he knows I'll dump him. Choices... that magic word. Men don't know what you want unless you tell them.
@@sandramaar7585 that's so helpful
The day I did it ,he started showing his true colours. haha . Till I was naive , I was in his trap. The day I set boundaries,he said ohh girl You think so much . As if thinking about my future and security was bad . I wanted to know where I stand in his life . Some boys just enjoy the chase and attention. A real man will never keep you hanging and wil be very clear from the start . I hate guys who are half there . Either love us completely or don’t. Simple
@@surbhighildiyal1735agree
"If you want to be treated as a queen, you need to act as a queen." so true 💯!
self control is a muscle we gotta train..
Connie Namutebi agreed
If only there was such a thing as a mind gym...
And control yourself next to someone who should love you? At all times? Or he will run away? Ladies, are you serious? Would you give this advice to someobe you love?
That’s where I went wrong get so up set he miss understanding me I lose it after 30 years married
I have studied so much about emotional intelligence and it does boil down to self-control. You're going to feel the emotion. It may even be uncomfortable. We all have various triggers. It's not about what you feel. It's about whether you react from a place of woundedness or respond from a higher perspective. Thank you for the videos you do.
hmm well said
Galatians 5:22
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.
Yes. Bless you truth.
Amen
Thank you 🙏🏻
Amen
Amen
Being too available & too easy is a turn off for most men. Being more mysterious & giving them freedom & space will make them want to be closer to you even more. A woman being too desperate for their attention, too clingy & emotionally attached is too unattractive for a man. It shows weakness & vulnerability. Being a strong & independent woman attracts a strong & independent man. Sometimes, you are what you believe & you do attract what you are. Laws of Attraction. Be free in your mind & free in your Soul, then Inner Peace attracts Positive Energy. When you truly love somebody, you give them freedom & space when they need it. Unconditional love is everlasting.
I agree, but also disagree that women should not be vulnerable...in a long term relationship that's what men crave, emotionally feminine vulnerability (if you want a protective man that is).
Sometimes I let my emotions control my self control
@@sarahmk2966 I don't think she meant to never be vulnerable, after all, love does require some amount of vulnerability. She meant that you should be careful not to be too desperate, too clingy, too needy or too vulnerable, because none of those things are attractive.
So wise at a young age curious about your wisdom
@Katarina Kozinský exactly. Im the opposite of clingy and needy and eventually it pushes guys away as they think i have no interest. So that doesnt work either
If a man isn’t going to be emotionally supportive when I need him, he can move on. I’m done giving everything for men who do so little for me.
Agree with you
But why make a man carry your emotional stuff.
@@Ktrvrn You must be young.
@@successful363 you seem to have a lot to learn about relationships.
@@Ktrvrnthey said support, not carry. Take a look at your parents and how they emotionally support you. If a husband can't do the same, then it's not a good relationship.
Also, not to take crap from him if he crosses your boundaries walk away.
Exactly. Can't repeat this enough. Respect your own boundaries.
Marie Evans Yes, exactly: wise words!!!
Exactly... SELF CONTROL... So many times I want to email him but I would never do it.. I want over this once and for all.. I have pride and dignity... He doesn't warrant an email or a phone call from me...
@@joylaine3193 I think T South is just trying to be helpful :)
@@DeniseV I may have taken it wrong...
Exactly that's what I learned after my break up
@T South 🤣🤣🤣
NEVER CHASE A MAN: VALUE YOURSELF HIGHLY SO THAT HE WILL THEN REALISE WHAT A FOOL HE WAS TO LOSE SOMEONE AS VALUABLE AS Y O U!!! 🤔😯
My levels of discipline make me SO happy & confident. It just makes me feel so strong, capable, and reliable.
I wish I had that :/
@@kristagray8936 you can work on it love, it didn’t come naturally to me. Keep one small promise to yourself every day. All the best. ❤️
Good .
This is so accurate. Learning to feel and control our emotions is what sets us apart from those who just react to their emotions and then regret it afterwards. Learning to decide how to respond takes discipline and determination but once they become a habit then indeed life improves dramatically - rather than being a soap opera.
O dang. That last part is 🔥
DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS 🙌🏻
Lets learn emotional intelligence
Self- Control is the key.
Don't text him, don't be the only one to call him... let that shit go
The problem with this advice is that in my case I began to act like I was indifferent, I don't know anymore how to do the difference between being in control and being spontaneous and natural. I think it is good sometimes too let yourself express your feelings that is also part of being human :)
Again ...Brian giving much needed and good advice ..but I believe more about interacting with immature or already damaged men ...but this EQUALLY CAN apply to all unhealed and damaged WOMEN ..THE DOOR SWINGS BOTH WAYS FOLKS
So true we can’t change what a person does but we can change how we react to it 😃
I was rational, i taught him Math.. I said Your Lack of contact is directly proportionate to your Level of interest
Well said
I love this ❤
When i was nice and loving, he abused me. When i ignored him, he doesnt wanna let me go.
@@annc7739 exactly.
Same here
Thats so sick. I always ask myself, why are so many men like this.
@@alleaufihreposition -
Because that’s how they are with each other, and so they are like that with women too. But this is in immature men. Mature men like to treat women like women. This maturing can take a long time though.
Same
I studied so much psychology my son's old therapist thought I went to school for it. I was trying to learn how to fix my family. It ended up with me finding the self-worth to leave an abusive situation in 2016. This year I began my first relationship since. Right now he can't spend too much time here, and that's hard for me. I love your videos because they remind me what I need to know. What I already know. Self-control is a super power.
I always love your messages. They speak truth and from the heart... another important word I learned today “Self-control”-a muscle that needs to be trained.
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
I agree to a point. I agree we shouldn’t act on our intense emotions at the moment, and learn to recognize our own toxic behaviors when conveying emotions to a man.
However other relationship experts emphasize the value of being vulnerable. That it brings people together. Men like warm emotional women. They just don’t like women who act needy or desperate. Also make him earn this level of trust before sharing your deepest feelings and desires. If something upsetting or triggering does come up with him, use “I feel “ statements. Also make sure it isn’t directed at the guy. For example, a guy makes a mistake and forgets about your date to a concert that you made a month previously.
You would state, “I feel devalued when my time isn’t respected. You must have mistaken me for someone who will put up with “X”.
I respect myself so I will not.”
Then end the conversation and go do something that makes you genuinely happy. If he doesn’t apologize and change the behavior, move on. He doesn’t respect you and no one needs that. No 2 or 3 chances! Set the expectation.
I love this comment💞💞
you absolutely right! Vulnerability mixed with some self control is the key. Say what you have to say, but do so in a mature respectful fashion.
I second this
That's amazing! Thank you!
@@Only1Me2times 💕💕💕💕💕
This is one of the BEST most sincerely helpful videos I have ever seen.
❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕
I was thinking self respect, but self control is definitely important, it's something I've had to learn over the years, and it's definitely got it's challenges.
Especially emotional self control.
Thank you for another amazing video, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know 💙
Reading these comments make me realize why relationships never last anymore.
Just smile and wave.
My emotions are not me. My emotions are the information from me about me.
This is you
Your comment was such a light-bulb moment for me. Thank you!
💯
true!!! emotions are our tools.
it's our responsibility to manage/master our emotions. Not the other way around (most of the time)
except for gut feelings. gut feelings are special :)
I really like a guy online and we've been texting each other every day. I normally wait for him to take the initiative but today I texted him first. He normally replies almost immediately but he didn't! I controlled my feelings of disappointment as I knew he had read my WhatsApp text even though it showed just two grey ticks. (He'd obviously turned off the read signal!) I controlled my feelings and just left it. If he wanted to go there was nothing I could do about and texting him again would only make me appear needy! Five hours later he texted
me and I replied as if there was nothing wrong! Thanks, Brian You're advice is great!
From what I gathered from the videos, in this case this can't be called "suppressing your true feelings". They were not in a relationship yet, and Jennifer would be able to be more open later on (providing she didn't screw the earl relationship, which she apparently didn't). Also, she rightly had self-control on this occasion ! She was disappointed/frustrated/sad when he didn't reply right away, but instead of listening to her emotions and bursting into written invectives of some sort (and he would have left, maybe rightly so), she just left things there, and he wrote back later. Would unleashing her true bad feelings would have portrayed her real self accurately ? perhaps not. Also... 5 hours later is not that bad ! Not everyone wants to be hung on his/her phone all the time (well... you do when you're falling in love but...). I'm sure she felt more stastisfied aftewards than if she expressed her bad feelings.
TOTALLY AGREE w you that self control is one of the most important skills to master for every area of our life! I'm really enjoying your videos and messages! You're doing an AMAZING JOB!!
Brian, excellent video! You are so right about how using self control is so important and leads to greater confidence. I have found this so true in my own life. When I sit back and don’t act on negative emotions, but rather take action and do something happy and positive for myself, my life is so much better! Thanks for this wonderful video! ❤️
I have been there and not acted on my emotions. Hearing you recommend how to control one's feelings is a powerful process. I step back because I am naturally an overthinker, which is normal for me. I go over my thoughts and emotions by distancing myself from others to get a reality check. This process keeps me from making regrets.
Hi there! Wow, thank you kindly for sharing
..very interested to ask you, going by your description of yourself is VERY NEAR TO MY SELF'S WAYS IN THINKING TOO, so this makes me wonder if at all you happen to be a Scorpio ♏ in regards to your Zodiac sign?
Thank you for reading and your time
@Fresh & clean, we are totally alike.
I’m the same..
@ Missy Luna, I'm a Scorpio. I overthink everything and let my emotions rule my actions at times. Luckily I have an amazing guy/husband I've been w since college. I just like watching these videos for self improvement.
Have you found Brian's advice and techniques helpful?
I don't miss a single video of yours. Your videos are full of wise advices, not the usual advices " what to do to please a man" but how to respect yourself, be strong and independant . Thank u so much i learn a lot from u as woman and as a human being.
That is true ... with men caring for you at least a bit. The other men get lost, because they want you to be their slave. They never liked you to begin with. A man that loves you for yourself, will become curious if you live your own life aside from him.
So true, I'm so emotional sometimes in my life in general, more often than sometimes, actually, it's really damaging to me, friends may understand you,but people who like to manipulate others may use your emotional triggers against you.
Thank you:) I needed to hear this.. I am a very emotional person struggling with mental health and I realize now that maybe..I have let them control my life & my decisions way too much and as a result destroyed relationships and now I'm lonely and single and sad. Time to regain my self control back!
1:32 I predict the trait is self-restraint or self-control.
3:45 Yes!
Thanks a lot. It makes sense to me. Self-control is like a test whether he likes you enough or not to take a move.
This is what I needed at the moment. This is amazing.
Yes, me too.
I think its very important to think about it, and to do it, of course.
because you havent met me yet you have a lower standard for what is amazing
My emotions are my authentic self.
So true how self control is important in all aspects of life. Food, exercise, spiritually. I'm very proud of my ability to exercise my self control muscle but am always working at it. Great video!
Soooo good! 💕 Perfect explanation of why I flopped in my relationship two days ago and succeeded today! Delayed gratification DOES feel so much better than manipulating by my emotions! I LOVED your comment that a man who is good for me will be repelled by my lack of self control, which gives him power, but a man who is not good for me will be drawn to that!! Wow - so good - and confirms my man is sooo good for me! Thank you for your great insight!
Self Control has always been my biggest struggle!
Dear Brian, words can not be found to describe my immense gratitude towards this amazingly golden trait!!! A trait I have had on my own but had buried away due to getting involved with a toxic person and so on. You reminded me to take a look in the rear mirror witnessing my 14 year old self smiling thankfully as my 40 years self stopped the car and let her co-drive the vehicle of "self" with me. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. Love, from Sweden.
Thank you Brian...self-control is self-love.
🙏❤️💕
Oh my god!!! Yes!!! I’ve found me being honest and having self control also, has been a god send. I hold back like you said. When I’m angry or upset because he cancels a date because he has to work for example, I just say “ok maybe next time :)” and it work’s ! I then have fun with friends and although I’m angry, he doesn’t need to know. However if he asks if he’s done something wrong, one time was because he was going on about his ex and it was an instant turn off for me. I was honest, I said that I didn’t feel comfortable. Turns out, you can be honest with integrity and they can respect you more! It’s all about self control 100%! Thank you xo
If you have to play games, he's not the right one.
I am glad to hear this works for you.
Ladies this actually works. Don't be needy.. they can smell that. 😂😂
It is true, but it's sad that women we are actually in need of security and have to pretend we don't need it, to get a man to actually provide security. We shouldn't have to do that. Men were created to be protectors and providers. Where are their natural God-given instincts. The issues are our upbringings and so many other factors that cause conflict between men and women. I believe egos (pride), lack of understanding and fear are some of those factors just to name a few.
Agree
And it stinks like old milk
What needy means in relationship?? Please
@@emma-dc6dl needy means emotionally dependent, you need to have your own autonomy but let him be neeeded in terms of protecting you and providing for you
Thank you Mr. Brian. I actually experienced exactly what you explained. I was successful. Got married to a very loving guy. My past experiences taught me a lot. What you explained is really true. May GOD bless you😍
Wow! This one is INCREDIBLE! I recently handled an emotionally charged situation from the perspective of self-love and being willing to walk away, which did render a positive outcome (in the vein of not showing all my cards, i.e. revealing all of my emotions). However, the self-control angle paints with a broader stroke. I LOVED this!
Dear 💕. I don't get tired of listening to your words of wisdom. Thanks so much as I find solace in it.
Brian you Amazed me.. This video is excellent for me.. Thank you very much.. I just need to control myself from now on.., I hope to see more video from you Sir, I love you and God bless You!!
Love you Brian!!! Thank you! I can listen your videos til the end without getting bored. Congrats for the work! Hugs from Ireland
Your voice so sweet and warm...😁
He could be reading a cookbook and I'd still listen. Love him too! Very down to earth and makes it easy to understand in real terms. Most excellent
Right. He is so sweet, so subtle, so charming, so deep, so passionate, so witty, so life transformational but I can see he was the nerd in the classroom who got overlooked. We all want him now, right ladies? LOL Yep. Hugs to you Brian. :)
if you heard me tho you would be writing longer messages about my sing song way of enchanting those fortunate enough to listen
Quite enjoy his voice. Could listen to him read the dictionary.
Saved this to my favorites. Need to hear this more than once.
Im so glad that i have enough self-control not to check on him no matter how much i wanted to.
💪💪💪💪
This is truly one of the best videos he has done and i have watched almost all of them! This information is so key to living a wonderful life in general, not just in relationships. If you watch nothing else on RUclips WATCH THIS! So helpful and insightful.
This truly spoke to me!!! I have been doing this up until now and no more!! I will keep strengthening my self control muscle 😊 thank you!
Thank you Mr. Knox the knowledge that you give to women is so clear to process. You have no idea how my relationships with everyone, has changed in a positive way for my self love and peace. 💃🏾
Self control is a new one for me but I've been executing it well lately (for the past month). It helps the healing process for me.
So proud of the ladies and their comments on this page. If we could only talk to each other; help each other out. This is so painful.
Self control, now I know, maybe he lost interest on me bcoz of the neediness to see him always, most of the time I was the one initiating the conversation, after found out he went back to exgf, now I did no contact then he is messaging me but i didn't reply, busy improving myself now and put back my self value. Thanks for your videos Brian, really help.
If he lost or didn't have much interest in you, he is not your guy either way, don't blame yourself for everything. You deserve better and you will find better
@@vf8653 exactly! God will give something better. Thanks!
Yes do it! Self love and self care🧡
@@freedom123-j8j exactly. Thanks!
How did you find out he went back to a gf ?
Brian, you are one smart person..the lady who wins your heart, will be truly blessed. You have an
Exceptional way of explaining relationship psychology...your intelligence is the trait that is most attractive!
You are also not bad for this old RN eyes either! Yes, you are something else!
Just asked my friend to hang out! He said ! I will get back to you! I haven’t dialed that number since and probably never will! He has reached out and I will respond with the same energy I’ve always had! Because you won’t make me bitter or angry! But what you will know is that I’m not as pressed for you as you thought! Because I may like you but I love me!
Hello !!!!! 🗣Say it a little louder!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
😁😍❤️💕
Yes ! Self control confidence, I will keep repeating this.
Thank you sooo much Brian
Really good stuff, “Brian!” Makes so much sense! I’m going to start being aware of that, reaction trigger, with keeping that in mind.
Confidence is being non reactive.
You lose power when you react the way your response system feels the need to.
Thank you!
My Opa is dutch he had very similar accent, he was always a good person, so your voice sounds very kind in my opinion. Very nice and realistic videos to listen to. Thanks for that.
As usual Brian, you nailed it!!! I love how you put that self-discipline & self-control are the present foundations of a good future decision + the emotions saying "hey check this out" and up to us to whether or not check it out. THAT IS SO POWERFUL! You're one of my fave dating coaches, and as usual... mindblowing value! Thanks for making this comparison. This kind of psychology not only applies to relationships but for mental health too -- depression & distraction run similar wavelengths and we are choices away from recovery. Thank you for this!
This really spoke to me. I'm a very emotional woman and I've always acted on those emotions... now learning how to change this is the problem
I don't need to pretend who I am not. If I become emotional and told him about my feelings doesn't mean I don't have control of myself and he has the control. Because whether I show him my good and bad side, if the man is meant for me then he will stay, but if not, then I'll let him go. I can love him forever but if he cheat on me, abuse me and lie to me then his out of my life. Because all I need is a man who is honest and sincere to me and loves me for who I am, the good and the bad side of me. Because I'm that kind of person, when my heart choose to love him, I already accept who he was, is and will be.
Get ready to be played ,you are not in a disney movie. A man is telling you how to behave to get good results but you chose to reject it. Like going to a hospital and refusing the doctors advice
You have given me so much info about emotional intelligence and self control which I wasn't taught much of as a child (I watched my Parents always reacting to each other). This is a news year resolution! Thanks! Also, can you touch on emotions like loneliness, which make you feel too much for others? Also, can you discuss people who make promises that you haven't even asked for to you and don't deliver. He was the one who brought them up.
This is the video . I can finally stop searching . This is THE video
WOW!!! Thank you Brian! This video has made HUGE impact on me! (and I have led transformation for two decades). This was fantastic! BRAVO. Can't wait to share and pay this forward. This is SUCH an important distinction and life-changing.
Just act like a guy...and you will never be the one chasing!
EXACTLY: THAT IS SOOO BRILLIANT: never thought of it like that: "treat 'em mean: keep 'em keen", lol!!! Seriously: there should be be mutual respect & love: otherwise: what's the point??!!
Men are just not worth the effort.....I don’t want to be the guy....
This is it. I naturally have a “guy” mind and rarely get hurt. I try not to hurt others.
Great advice!!! Thanks 😁
No that’s why he thing I not love him
Your voice is too soothing Brian.... it relaxes me instantly...
Powerful and true! Thank you, Brian!
Thanks Brian. I definitely act on my emotions and then regret it later. I need to practice self control every day in every situation.
Thank you for this video, you just made me feel great and that I'm in control even though I felt defeated from a potential romantic connection due to the current pandemic. We are on each others social media but apart from viewing each others stories, I have not acted on it, don't feel the need to initiate the conversation as I did in the past and He isn't neither which tells me everything I need to know. So thank you again I'm very happy with my true self I AM successful
Self-control: A muscle that needs to be trained. And implemented. Brian, this is truly one of your most brilliant, substantive videos. Thank you.
Your advice is so useful! Not only for romantic relationships, but for all kinds of relationships Thank you!
Wow! Thank you so very much for teaching us this. I needed this 60 years ago.
You are very wise and kind
I needed to hear this! I understand Emotional intelligence wayyyy better now! Thank you!
This is incredible advice for life. Highly recommend listening to the entire video. Very well put. Thank you!
"Madly in love with a guy you don't know", that is not love, that is projection.
I've been learning alot in here..yes ..you are loving who you want or wish them to be ..mixed with outside attraction..combination of much I believe ..I think you can have a form of godly/agape love ,mixed with friendship love and when you mix them all together however..can be quite strong and misleading..especially im beginning..everything basically just needs more time to grow roots ..
Hi Brian. You totally hit the nail on head. Emotions are to be controlled. Thank you.
I so wish I’d listened to this before, I’ve just blew my relationship I’d worked at, by losing it. The basis is so helpful. Feel and acknowledge the emotion perhaps privately for me and then when it’s under control reflect on it’s basis and action required. I had very strong emotions that I had no control over, they took over, phew controlling that energy will be strong self control
Brian Nox, your one of the Best and my favorite! I have learnt so much in your 8 minute videos than i did in other channels. Really love & appreciate your work, it is so uplifiting! Your truly gifted & Thank you so much!
💖SO l did the right thing by not communicating because l give him the power.
I moved away as l felt l was going to be let down.
I flexed it x
Dearest Hierht, hoping that's how spell your proper name. When I'm feeling sad, upset and a little depressed that I have had to go through breast cancer, a divorce and now having to have a hip replacement surgery, I shall endeavor to exercise' self control' and remain calm composed hopefully resist the urge to bang my head against a brick wall!!! Gotta have a lot of SELF CONTROL.
Excellent guide to managing our emotions. Thank you.
3 years later and in this season of my life this is timeous. Thanks Brian 😊
I teach yoga and this video gave me all the feels for myself 😊 and my practice 😍🤗🧘🏾♀️ I love me some me.
A benefit of yoga is self-control. Thanks for this video.
Brian literally had me dancing in my kitchen. Begire this video this is something I have been working on. But to here him articulate it so is just ✨
Thank you sir, brother I've never had.
This is the best relationship advice I have ever heard. Question is , is it too late not letting your emotions dictate your actions if you’re already in a relationship and have been doing everything wrong?
loved how beautifully you explained the power of self control.
Just be yourself do not change just to please someone, in other way you'll lose yourself 😶
Great insights into one of my weaknesses. I am working on controling my emotions and not acting upon then. Thank you. I do appreciate your videos.
I recently met a guy and we got along well instantly. We had a great evening together and he made clear that he's looking for something serious. To me he seemed maybe a bit too rational about it. He even talked about kids (yes, it was the first time we met and yes, I've find it a bit too early to discuss such topic when you just met somebody) I told him that I don't want any, well, from my current perspective, who knows what it would be like when you're in a relationship with someone you know it would work out well. After this I felt he hesitated? Honestly, sometimes it occured to me like I was at a job Interview and he was ticking off where I "passed". Beside the thing with having kids we live a couple hours appart and it would be long distance for quite a while. Despite all that I was willing to make it work, but the following two weeks there was almost no investment from his side why I decided to end it. It still hurts that he didn't gave us a chance even though I know he liked me too and I hope he'll change his mind.... long story short, that's why I have a problem with this rational choice making when it comes to relationships as it blocks out what emotions a capaple off, to try something even when the starting position is not perfect. I am also a bit angry about myself that I can't switch off what I'm feeling for him, as it felt he would be a great partner if he was convinced it was worth it, but sadly he's not...
@@piffleviewer thank you for reading and sharing your opinion. Yes, you brought the same arguments as he did that it would be even harder when you're already a couple years in a relationship. I guess that's why he didn't see a point to invest. Sometimes I wonder if this life might be just a big comedy as I always find myself in situations opposite to what I wish for. Couple years ago I had a strong desire to have children but after losing two close family members very suddenly within 18 month it changed. I don't have family support anymore, therefore I must feel very sure, the man will be a good and responsible father. I wish there would have been more time, a couple more dates to figure it out. I haven't told him what I wrote here, he doesn't know anything about it. It is quite a confusing situation also because of the question if I'll regret it couple years down the line... 😔
@@piffleviewer Thank you for taking the time and your honest and kind words! It helped me to get a bit emotionally detached (in a good way) from the situation. I probably won't tell him, as it is something very personal to share so early on. Have to accept the situation as it is unfortunately. I also try not to project too much, which easily happens when something ended before it even really started and there was no possibility to see the other person's flaws. Thank you again, I really appreciate your advice and the effort and time it took to write an answer! 🌱🌻🌞
I think it's always good to be honest what it is we want and will accept in relationships.... no-one knows if the person you're dating it's going to be with that person. I would work out what my perfect future looks like to me, and date those who have a similar outlook.... it's very well he said he wants children at some point but that doesn't mean it's definitely with you he was just checking if children were part of your plans for the future, which the answer would've been, (with the right person I may want a family of my own, but until I am were I needed to be, and was in a loving committed relationship I wouldn't even consider bringing a child into the world.) But if you're set against it then yes it is better now before both of you got too attached cause one of you would've grew to resent the other....do some work on you, know your goals and future hopes and then date those with similar values, hopes and dreams, otherwise you are wasting time with the wrong one and stopping the right one coming into your life xo
@@donna2693 You're right, that should be the lesson I've learned from that. I only wish, the timing would have been different. It has been the first date for me since my last relationship ended four years ago and after the losses. I didn't expect to meet someone like this, at least not at the first try. So I went in it with that kind of mindset. I would have been happy if it ended in just a relationship, I didn't dare to think even further. I wish I had communicated it differently... That's what I blame myself for what makes it quite difficult to move on.
It sounds sad, totally get how you feel. But timing is everything, seems you two are not on the same page. If it is not ready, it can't be right.
This video really makes me see of who am i really....i thought i act wrong but thanks to you..now i know i actually act right...Godbless
Yes, he may lose interest if you make other plans, but he wasn't worthwhile in that case.
U be yourself if he is meant for u he will stick around if not he will go away.
Firstly, thank you for your messages to live a rich full life. I am honored to be listening every single time. Now, how may I apply this muscle when I am feeling jealous and disrespected.
Very true .. .self control! One of the best advices thus far. 👍