The key take out here is: 💖 Don't initiate contact or catch ups. 💘 Don't always be available. 💕 Do have fun together and make it memorable, but take things slow, don't be rushed by him.
They miss you when they realize they can't replace you. When you first break up, men's egos are pretty amp'ed and confident that they will find another "you" (since of course, they were able to find the first "you" lol). Then...they realize, no one laughs like you, smells like you, kisses like you, smiles like you, is fun like you, makes him feel like you did, etc. By this time though, he's already spent 2+ years trying to replace you with multiple people and you're already engaged/married LOL! 😆
Yes give him space to cheat then run back when the other person isn't at all interested in him. So he returns with professions of undying love until you find out about the 3rd party and his lies. Yep, no thanks! I'm out! I'm not an option or his blow up doll.
@EnMode, my husband of 9yrs. tried to replace me with 4 more marriages, He said he couldn't find another me lol leaving was the best thing I ever did, Never did go back!
If a man truly loves you, no need for you to effort on how to make him miss you. Just be yourself, if he can't make you feel adored, don't waste any time and find another guy.
@@viniciusbembea it's not stupid it's accurate. Why should a person have to be manipulated into missing you? If they don't miss you naturally, what really is the point
I was single until I was 32. Dated a lot. No guy got more than ONE date. Why? Either I was interested or I wasnt. How he may have felt was irrelevant. I lived on my own 10 years. It was MY life. I invite you in if I choose. I never waited for some guy to decide if I was good enough for him. No games. I was myself on dates. I listened, really listened, to what they said on dates. That's all you need to do. You can weed them out pretty quick. (Maybe having 7 brothers gave me guy insight)😊 I met my husband at 32, dated 2 months , got married, 3 years later had 1st baby.....24 years later and 5 kids. Still in love. When you know, you know. 😍
@@sharaniasharania6646 You have to be completely ok with being by yourself, that way you dont settle for less. Let the man chase you, a real man likes that. Be yourself. Ask questions, subtly. You can learn a lot by listening. Dont blather on and on, guys have short attention spans. Dont drink on dates so your alert. Every date I went on was lunch. (Day light)I drove my car. I never told them where I lived. I dressed "girl next door" not slutty. (Leave that for the easy chicks) 😁
@@RatherBHunterthenPrey dont believe in luck coz imma Christian. But thank u for ur input..... i consider it a valuable knowledge...... i was doin it the wrong way. LOL. Now i know :)
@@jillsalkin7389 I don't think it needs to be all the time, just the odd Saturday/ Friday night or whatever saying "actually I'm going out with my friends that night" or "I'm planning in an alone day next Saturday" it's good for both of you, it actually is sincere because we all need time to remember who we are out of the relationship
I'm not playing psychological games like this, I don't care if I stay single. Either he misses me or he doesn't. I'm not handing over my power by pretending I'm not handing over my power. Manipulation isn't love. Either he values my worth and personality, or he doesn't, and if not there are always other things to do and other people to meet. The kind of guy you describe is a cowardly baby who isn't worth my time. I only want a man who is determined to have me, hell or high water.
I totally agree ...this advice is like forcing or tricking sb who doesnt really like you to miss you ....if he truly likes you these games are useless....
Its good advice for those who need it. Everyone does not experience life the dame way. If its going to help with growth and maturity....I am all for it.
Simply said: “A man can’t miss you if you’re never gone!” Sometimes, the creation of “space” and “distance” by focusing on things in your life other than him, allow for him to begin to miss you and want more of you.
100% correct. It works the other way round too. When I was in my early 20s a guy who was into me would complain to me that I never texted him. I remember replying: "But you already text me 5 times a day and I reply, when am I supposed to text you on top of that? There is virtually no space in between your texts for me to even want to text you." This experience stuck with me and I vowed to myself to never make this mistake myself with a man.
Honestly, when watching videos like this... I am thinking, what happened to good old falling in love and wanting to spend your lives together? The basic themes in literature, art, music has always been love... and now it has all become a game to play. (and the rules seem to change all the time... without a warning.) My parents have been married for over 50 years and they married within months from their first encounter. Totally smitten with each other, no mind games. The same for many other couples of that generation... What on earth has happened?!
@@MissTiffany01 I agree. When I was in my teens and twenties, many people did not even have 'phones in their homes. We had to make calls from phone boxes and arrange to meet at the weekend or in the holidays. The waiting and anticipation was all part of the dating fun. Or we lived in different towns and had to catch trains and buses to meet up. So effort was needed. Constant phoning and messaging erodes this.
Unfortunately, everyone is replaceable ... whether it's personal relationships, dating, work, etc *just about everyone* can be replaced ... It might be for a lesser quality person but at the time that's not what they're caring about, they've found another physical body to fill that space. It's one of those difficult and messed up life lessons.
How to make a man miss you? Become a better version of yourself and he'll be challenged to try to obtain you again. At that point, the power is in your hands.
paid infull yeah but, in my experience, I will usually hit it off with somebody, and then everything kind of dulls down pretty quickly. And it's all because when you're drunk in love it's easy to get carried away by your emotions, but as he said, that oxytocin rush isn't to be trusted as a pillar for a good strong relationship. It burns out easily. That's why it's good to pace it, and take it one step at a time when you really like someone and want them to want to stay by your side.
Amen! Many happy couples I know, knew from the first time they met that they were supposed to be together. No mind games, fooling around, or 'testing'..
Arab Dude I'm pretty sure manipulation and inauthenticity were always there. The difference is today divorce and breakups are socially acceptable. They weren't some decades ago; they were taboo (mainly divorces).
no it's the exact opposite, most people can't keep a relationship BECAUSE they are focusing on authenticity and being themselves. a woman that nags, a man that ignores, a couple that argues, they are all being themselves and by doing so are driving each other crazy. not too many people can love and accept each other's negative behaviors. relationships where you take the good with the bad and still love each other, that kind of thing is rare. all the while those that are manipulative, lack authenticity, and are challenging to the point of being mean, those are the ones that have men eating out of their fingers. if men really wanted authenticity and love, those that give that would be popular and sought after, but the nice girls can't keep a man, and as a nice gay guy, even i can't keep a man. who is fighting to get the nice people, that offer authenticity, love, honesty, and kindness? why are those people ignored while the mean ones are treated so well? how many times have you heard these guys say that they had an ex that treated them like shit? yet they stayed with that ex for years!?
Brian, I have to thank you, not because of relationships advice, but because it was because of you, years back, that I learned to control my panic attacks. The second I heard your voice, I knew it was you :) You have no idea how much you have helped me :)
We're not all hard to get, seriously. We don't all play games and expect that you do one thing or the other. Just be yourself. It's really that simple. if he likes you, he'll like you. if he doesn't, he doesn't - move on. Never forget your self-worth. If he doesn't appreciate you... so what. Plenty more men out there for you.
I have been doing the dance with a commitment phobe, avoidant personality. Honestly it is tiring, hurtful. I'm over it. I already am. My new thinking is "l need to give him space to miss me, also l need to take back control, be on my terms, not his". I am a great all round person, why doesn't he want to spend time with me? His association with me is a PRIVILEGE. I AM A GODDESS, HIGH QUALITY WOMAN. I am not allowing him to disrespect me or have him compromise me anymore. Thank you for the affirmation.
Cat Duval Every long term HAPPY couple I know has a life outside of their partner---which is what I understood the guy in the videos meant when he talked about space. Long term couples I know who are not happy don't have a life outside of their partner, meaning no space, so they unhealthily depend on their partner for everything. They depend on their partner to bring them happiness rather than creating it independently for themselves. It's way too much pressure and very unrealistic to depend completely on one person (your partner) for YOUR happiness and well-being, and that's when the relationship spirals downward because your partner will never be able to fulfill all of that for you. Space and independence from your partner definitely brings the two of you closer, and it helps your needs and wants get met realistically.
GREAT video! Only a fool wouldn't take this advice. You don't always want to be available for someone you're getting to know. Giving each other space will give you both time to miss each other. Love you Brian.. keep the videos coming!
My now husband lives in Texas when we stared dating and lived in Ohio After a month and a half of dating he asked me to marry him. We spend the next year still dating but living in different states as well. We have been married for over a year now and things Just keep getting better! He misses me even when we are at home together! Seriously so blessed for my hubby!
I absolutely agree! ^^ Sufficient space is essential in a relationship because men is like a hunter. They love to chase. Thank you so much, Brian for reminding me these things. Cheers!!!
Ladies! Wait until marriage! I had one hook up this summer it was the WORSE experience of my life and I’m still going through heartache before that I had one bf ONLY. I’m too emotional for this hook up culture I’m focusing on myself 💯💪🏾
I honestly think most women aren't built for hookup culture. And those that engage in it often are chipping away at themselves whether they realise it or not.
Why should always women worry about the way to "catch and keep" a man and never men to worry about how to "catch and keep" a woman? I think there are too many unacceptable behaviors that we women are more inclined to take from them just for the sake of being with a man at any cost. We are always worried about being "without a man". Now it's not really about mind game playing, which is pointless, it's more about realizing one's own value and not taking any abusive behavior. That's when men miss you, but most important thing, respect you.
angieshanti There are actually a lot of videos tailored for men trying to "catch and keep" women. They want a partner, too, and feel just as clueless sometimes lol. And I agree that abusive behavior is unacceptable, and should never be tolerated.
angieshanti Thank you! You said it so well for me. I don’t bother with the male mind games. The speaker in the video is so articulate and explains so very well, he’s great to watch. It only reinforces why I can’t be more than friends with men.
Yes men are looking to catch and keep , the Right one ! It's what the video is about :) men want to test also, is this the right one for me ? I like the part of continue to be a challenge t keep someone from getting complacent in the relationship and start to take for granted :)
LMAO I genuinely can't express anymore laughter through a simple message. Women HAVE to worry about "catch and keep"? really? I do not watch this type of videos "dating and relationship" advice for women, since I am a man, but you should consider passing by our side of youtube. This is nothing compared to what we have to learn to get women. This is not even close to "mind game playing", you have no idea. Being here reading the comments really opens my eyes....that women do complain about the most simple things.
Spot on! This isn't game playing or immaturity,Its about trying to awaken a person's lack of appreciation...absence causes a person to realize whether they value something or not.It's common for people to take things for granted .We all do it- with relationships, health, jobs etc...
“Know thyself” is so important while listening to these types of messages. I can apply this to every relationship in my life. Even my best girlfriends and I benefit from space in our relationships. This message and the tone with which it was shared alerts me to the fact that we live in a culture where we as women are groomed to make a man more important than everything else, especially at the first and slightest sign of interest. This level (any level) of neediness is to the detriment of every relationship. My takeaway: have fun while I engage in relationships. Indulge in the fact that I am desirable. Practice that I am absolutely lovable by doing this sensual dance of coming close then giving space so that I train my mind that it really IS true that I am lovable and desirable. Don’t play games but do be playful. Be liberated! Thank you for sharing! 🙏
@@dosesandmimoses WOW! It’s been a long time since I made that comment. On “neediness” I have realized that to need someone to the extant that we recognize their presence in our lives to be something that contributes to our health is a really good thing. I could say that I need a man in my life very much in the same way that healthier food options contribute to a higher quality of life. I used to think that was bordering on being toxic but now I am not afraid to say it (although I am still getting used to it). I have spent so many years doing life - a very hard life- on my own and I have suffered in many ways as a result. It is not a crime to “need” or recognize our need for relationships. But no, I don’t think that caring for someone is neediness, although I am not sure exactly how you mean this. I guess we could say that I need someone to care for/having someone I care for, who cares for me meets my need for giving and receiving love. 💙💗💙 Thank you Jessica for bringing me back to this conversation🙏😊
This is actually really good old fashioned advice. My boyfriend and I live over 150 miles apart and both work irregular schedules. If we see each other weekly that is a big deal but twice a month is more accurate. We have had multiple times that we tried to get together and something happened involving my job, his job, my kids, his kids etc and so our visit was cut short or didn't happen. People constantly ask me why l even bother with him since he lives so far away but l can see how this relationship is different in a good way from my last because of the tension that builds during our time apart.
Honestly I'm disappointed to hear all the things women are supposed to do to keep men interested when it seems like all they have to do is be themselves. It feels like I have to learn how to be some secret maniacal puppet master putting invisible hooks and strings into men so I can control them. This is not a role I really desire and frankly it seems like a lot of pressure and energy to have to be so calculated and controlling.
I couldn't agree more with it!!! It's ridiculous that we should be constantly responsible for him staying interested. The advice to go against your own inner-flow is based on old patterns that women were forced into. It's time for change. Much better advice to us women would be to get more in touch with their own playfulness (wherever they like) and their need for space. Let's throw the women-are-also-people-card into the game!! Hihaaa!!
Lol it’s a nightmare for men to plan and execute romantic getaways and proposals. Yet they do it to make the woman happy. So isn’t he playing a role for you then?
Ok but I'm his wife not his mother! And my experience has sadly been giving him that time to go play is usually him playing with other toys (women) oh and then he gets bitten by the bee (other woman) realises he doesn't like it so comes back home to good reliable safe wife (mother) so in other words immature men will always be like boys off to play and in need of a mother... give me a real 'man' any day!! Soon to be ex wife.
Young men old men they are all the same. I’m now an ex-girlfriend of a Doctor that told me I had to have understanding that he was working hard (lol on another chick) and studying and if he turned his phone off it’s bc he fell asleep 😑 yeah I had to investigate and found out more than I wanted smh that’s what my space and trust did moved him right to the next. Then found out he was buying a home with this other chick. it’s been a few days now and I still feel sick to my gut but lessons learned young or old he was an educated fool and I was just as bad to not put my foot down. #Love hurts
Men are too complicated for me now. I’m too old for these mind games. I’ve been single for a year and a half and I LOVE it! I don’t need to worry about the mind games or worry about possibly being cheated on. I’m in a relationship with someone I can FINALLY fully trust...myself.
@@notafeminist5948 This video showcases why I missed my ex so much at the time. But since it was my first relationship I got too clingy and we broke up. I was only 16 at the time but I have tried to be more careful ever since.
@@marchelingatong8104 Well the concept is pretty simple. When people are told they can't have something they want, it makes them want it more. But the more of something they have, the less they appreciate it. So if you were the one to end the relationship or put some limitation, it would be more likely for him to miss you. But if he saw you as a burden and decided to leave you, then all you can do is hope that he misses something unique about you. In my case, my ex was the one who ended the relationship and made herself less available to me which is why I missed her. However, even if someone misses you, they must care a lot to miss you for a long time. Otherwise they'll just move on just like with everything else in life.
Playing hard to get has NOTHING to do with REAL love. These advices are good for the beginning stages of "in love" games. But when and IF the REAL feeling happens, there is always a movement towards each other, in loving acts, in taking care, in desire to grow together, to put their partner as a priority.. It is never too much but always not enough time for each other. It is a movement from the surface to the depths of both. Because in REAL LOVE people realise how actually short their life is in order to express and experience the grandeur of that amazing feeling. These are signs that distinguish LOVE from gender games.
3 wks into a really great relationship with this seemingly awesome guy, he suddenly told me he loved me. That actually scared me since I had been hurt so many times before and was determined to do things slower and different with him. I couldn't say the 3 words back to him and our whole relationship took a really quick, sharp turn for the worst. Of course, he blamed me for our relationship going sour, but this video explains things a lot. If you don't act needy, which is the behaviors I USED to do, and you don't let yourself get swept away with your emotions, they will either love you and keep coming back or they will leave. It's not mind games, it's just the way it is. This shows strength in a woman and I think men admire that. Thank you! PS. we actually parted as really good friends and he encouraged his best friend to date me and we have become very close. Life is funny, huh?
Don't force him just be yourself. Don't always make yourself available Don't be too cheap Be an independent woman Don't call or text him for a while If you do all this, he will surely miss you. Thanks dear for all this sweet words 🥰🥰🥰💞
Dear Brian, it is beyond me how I was blessed enough to cross path with one of Your videos yesterday. I´ve heard it over and over again. Your incredible message BUT from other sources. The way You bring it forth is speaking directly to me. Tons of THANK YOU´S!!!!! I´ll make sure to keep up with Your different channels and to get Your books. Simply LOVE Your work! Nothing complicated- straight to the point- with lot of grace in Your ways when You approach various subjects! Love it!
So my engagement got broken because I was to excited planning it which Made HIM out of control? Im not going to Play games for men who are actually children
Oh my god, what the heck... what do men want? They’re scared if we are to excited, and if we don’t show any excitement then we are unhappy and they don’t want to be around boring unhappy energy, bunch of damn babies!! What ever happened in the end of your predicament? Curious
Exactly it has to do with the people involved - not play games but know what you're actually worth and either get better or improve where you're heading or settle for what you are
This man makes a lot of sense. He's describing the male nature that is so unfamiliar to many of us, females. This is how we allow men to mature instead of us being so eager to cater to his every need to prove ourselves useful, to show our love and affection. When he meet us at our level that is when we should proceed with the next phase - and if he is taking too long, then that tells you everything that you need to know about him. Let's be patient but not tolerant. After all, it's obvious that the ball will always come rolling back to our court...
This is so true!! When I think back to the relationships where the men were most committed to me where the ones where I paced the relationship. I wasn't trying to play games I was sincerely slowing them down because they were going at lightning speed.
Princess Vanessa its better not to reveal you love until you know the secret person of their heart. Also wait for it not to have any sex before marriage or be alone with him to put your self in such postion . he don't deserve sex unless he's you husband
Princess Vanessa Why do we have papers or document for cars cats dogs houses boats receipts for trips to Wal-Mart but no papers for the man we give our inner most parts to.
Princess Vanessa God new best when he develop marriage. He knows our emotional state because he developed us. He knows that we would be happy owning our mate. And not trading them like pokemon cards when things went sour. But he developed a system of love so that the marriage work work and sustain hardships.not adultery but hardships. But perhaps even aldutery(not recomended) but could be forgiving. (but ouch) . but you know. Things like love kindness, mildness. Not 😤 pride. Gentle ness. Patience.joy.peace. harmony. A good strong foundation. In order to build a house you don't start at the attic. There for there shouldn't be any sex or sex like activities until the foundation is laid and the hous is complete on wedding day .metaphorically speaking
Wow! Thank you Thank you Thank you! How many times have I gone through this (I'm in one of those times now) and I hate it (you are 110% correct, it is excruciating). I have been able to wait, though not all that patiently, and then eventually we begin again, picking up where we left off. Or there abouts. This time I seem to be suffering more than the last couple times but now that you have enlightened me, I hope I can make myself suffer less. Praise God, my guy has been smart enough to pace himself with no help/forcing from me! Just a couple small facts to make you smile, perhaps. We have been seeing each other for 6 months. I will be 70 in 2 weeks and he will be 89 in a couple months! Not too old to learn (me) or to still be a MAN. The ONE I've been looking/waiting for all my life! (No I'm not a spinster, LOL)
Thank you! I totally did this, wanting to see him all the time and being always available.Giving him his space to miss you makes so much sense. It's hard but will try it in the future!
I love this video. It makes so much sense❤❤❤ One thing I have learned is that if you are a straight woman, NEVER get advice from another woman about men. It's almost always inaccurate💯
I think your advice makes sense for new relationships. As for long term couples, it’s needed to still give each other some space, but not pretend nor play games...
I think everything is individual and even if a girl goes beyond crazy her man won't leave her and you might be very good and right but if he does not care he will leave you.
You're right summer I played this in my twenties badly ..it's just old fashioned 'hard to get' the guy notices its a game and usually sits back laughing. My rules are let's not ignore texts more than a day ..if they do that I just say it's hard to get to know you even as a friend,let's not text often but if we are chatting lets close chats we've started ie keep it friendly. That way live your own life if he doesn't ask you someplace by the Thursday for a weekend time together and then asks you Friday I just say I'm sorry I made some plans I could get a coffee with you Sunday morning ...ie you get to see him but it's on your terms and tell him how great Friday and Saturday night were...pretending to not want to see someone you like is just dumb..like reel in the 'I love you' etc but guys see through this hard to get stuff in seconds
yes, playfulness is good, i like it and i do it. But it should be in a relationship already, not before. I like honesty and sincerity, it should be the base of everything. I don't like pretending to like something if i don't
Summer Roberts I think the key is to not put all your eggs in one basket that isn't even yours yet, meaning not to put all your intense feelings and emotions onto a guy that isn't your boyfriend yet. It's not playing games if you sincerely have a life outside of the man you have romantic interest in. Honesty and sincerity are great qualities to bring to a man or a relationship---there just needs to be a balance where you have a life you're living, as well as the time you spend with him. If he sees you're putting so much effort into seeing him or telling him how romantic you feel towards him without being officially together, he'll think he's your sole form of happiness and that you don't have much else going on in your life. He'll think he could have been any guy, because having a man is more important than having HIM, specifically. It's like filling a void, and no respectable man (or woman) wants to fill that void. He wants to be with an independent woman that won't allow him or any man to knock her off-balance because she has a life she worked for and she's internally happy with or without him. He wants a woman who WANTS him, not needs him. This comes in handy when you're officially in a relationship, too. Don't lose your independence and the ability to make yourself happy without his help.
Muach z I was married for 25 yrs when he needed space he went to his shed smoke a few cigarettes. Otherwise we went everywhere together. He died and I miss him.
Okay, okay I've started watching you not long ago when I desperately typed "He doesn't want me" and two of your videos popped up. I watched both and what can I say? I was hooked. This was it what I needed and what I need now. I'm young, unexperienced and had my first breakup. No one told me how bad it could hurt someone. And all these videos help me with coping and realizing what I've done, what mistakes I've made and even though it helps, it's still hard for me because I'm still attached to him and to that certain time. But anyways, thank you for making these videos and helping anyone who might need it! Keep up the good work:)
If the guy you are dating is acting like that 4 year old in the playground treating you like a surrogate mother GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP OK.
sansa drake you must do this with the right men not the wrong ones... Do this for guys that you feel actually care, not those that have proven to lack compassion
@@loridori True. Sometimes Its hard to tell who cares and who doesn't lol. There is one who has backed off because I give him too much alone time😂. I think he wants me to give him more attention
I give up on man. Why play a fucking game? Your not a child anymore! So, having this said: YES!, I'm single, and you have to be fucking amazing to change that!
Exactly right? this right here is what men think about women, that's why many men are getting tired of dating too. Like...you think this is playing a game? this is nothing. Try dealing with yourselves LOL men have to go with game, a methodology, plan A, plan B, plan C and have a fucking experience LMAO
Giving a man basic human respect of space isn’t a mind game. It’s called not being needy leads to ppl wanting to hang out vs pushing you away. No one even wants friends who are needy lol.
I think the key is to not make a man your priority until he has made a commitment to you (he is officially your bf). If you don't make a man your priority until then, then there is space between you two, and that's what I understood from what this man was talking about. Once you are in an official relationship, I still think it's important to have a life outside of your relationship---which is where this "space to miss you" bit comes up. All of this is not acting---it's BEING. Maybe some people need to "fake it till they make it," but the goal is to truly be someone who doesn't NEED a partner to be happy with themselves. It's just healthier for everyone not to make their partner their whole life, and I believe that's what this guy means. It creates space at the end of the day.
I have always wondered why men need space and why they don’t want to be around their girlfriend when hanging out with their friends. This makes sense. As woman I never thought he was just feeling like a man when he is not with me. I guess it’s really true that space builds attraction for men. Being a woman, attraction grows for me when he spends time with me. Attraction reduces when a man is away from me.
This resonates a lot with me. I always make myself available whenever men I am dating wanna see me. I need to learn to say no sometimes so that there is that time to miss me. Thank you.
You are so helpful. Thank you. I think a lot of the women who watch you are interpreting your points in the wrong way. They are thinking of it as playing games rather than understanding these innate drivers inside of men. How about turning that around? Wouldn’t you like it if your man understood that you enjoyed being listened to, that you enjoyed hearing from him during the day, making dinner for you…etc?? Is HE “ playing games” by trying to please You? Let’s not get stuck in old feminist notions. Move on and just take some practical advice. He’s Not saying to change yourself inside out to please a man. Big difference.
Shit I feel like this is what’s happening in my relationship because I didn’t know better. It’s hard to slow down when the man wants to ask you every question in the book and spend all his time with you
This is exactly what happened with me. My bf was head over heels for me for almost 3 years and I didn't even want him around at that time. He asked me to marry him after 6 months I made up my mind and I tell him yes. Things completely changed after that, he was no longer the same person, he kept pushing the wedding plans away and showed less interest. It's quite frustrating because I was not so into him anyway. It hurts my self esteem.
It’s not really a mind game. He’s basically saying stop smothering a guy and let him be free / go off on his own (basic human respect) and he will seek you out/ want to come home to you as his safe haven.
Melinda Just google or search on youtube "chasing women, the friendzone, get her to like you, etc." and you'll find a bunch of results and recommendations to choose from. You may even be interested in the "pickup" community and "pickup artists"
Wow. Great relationship advice and perfect comparison. I am working on building a strong connection with my four year old son and that example was spot on what I needed to hear. Thank you. 🙏🏾
This is a great advice for anyone really. We all need our space men and women. Specially people that are used to be lonely and are introverted. We need our time alone, ladies.
Yes but i had a guy who did this to me for seven years. Wanted to see me 2-4 times a month. I want a man who looks forward to seeing me everyday for the rest of his life. Why are men so dysfunctional?
he doesn't love you that's clear. sad to say his not the right guy. one day if you find your true love you will laugh on it. just believe you will find a new and better one
So would clinging to his neck and not letting go have kept him? I hear these sorts of things and wonder if that person ACTUALLY thinks that being a clinger would have been better. Guarantee the answer is “no”.
I agree. Good advice. Men are not wired the same as women. The ones who are the real deal will fight to be with me. It's not playing games it's about understanding the mans psychology. I made all the mistakes of giving too much and now I am toughening up! Thank you 😊
I think the point of this video is to show the man you have taken an interest in is that you want him to need you, but you don’t need him. Don’t wait around on him when you already have a full life, especially when it’s a new relationship. That sets the standard of how things will go while you are getting to know one another. It’s different later on when you are in monogamy. My boyfriend and I agree to be together 4 days a week and out of those days we reserve for just us and we are flexible if we want to include friends/family. It’s not a game or manipulation, it’s showing him you are an asset and you value yourself, as you should! What I’ve come to realize that when you TRULY enjoy yourself as a single and date around, when people aren’t willing to meet you halfway, it may sting but it’s not the end of the world. Needy is a turn off! 😉
Wow all this that you speak of in relationships there are all my experiences I’m just getting to the point how you’re explaining them and wondering why it took me so long to get here. I am grateful for you and I am blessed that you put this out for women so they can avoid emotional trauma and emotional baggage pain and suffering.
Such wisdom at such young age, and put in very simple and clear words, yet so logical. Now I understand a lot of the situations I have experienced repeatedly (I also watched your other videos!). You are fantastic Brian! I am glad I stumbled upon your videos this morning. I already signed up for your newsletter and to show further support I am definitely buying your books as well as telling my friends. I don't see this as manipulation at all, it is clearly just knowing how the species "man" tick ;) My girlfriends will love this!
I don't think by doing this it's pretending how you feel or playing games but more that giving someone space helps them to realise how much they care for you. By giving them space it's like giving them a time of self reflection in between - sometimes we need quiet moments or time on our own to know what we want or need and to make changes - it's when it's easiest to listen to our hearts and be honest to ourselves. Having space is like a retreat that you can withdraw to, to consider things. It's one of the reasons we miss someone so much after we end it with them. We are always returning to all those different moments we spent with the person, and those memories replay in our minds. All those small moments, seemingly so miniscule at the time come together and have an impact on how we are feeling. We don't have this playback while we are in the relationship always because we don't always have space to think back, and recall a past time. I suppose that's why for some people, they don't realise they loved someone until it's finished between them, or they are not in contact any more.
The key take out here is:
💖 Don't initiate contact or catch ups.
💘 Don't always be available.
💕 Do have fun together and make it memorable, but take things slow, don't be rushed by him.
YES! Finally an answer that captures it all! Taking things SLOW, not this concept of making him miss you. That is manipulation.
Thanks 🙏
They miss you when they realize they can't replace you. When you first break up, men's egos are pretty amp'ed and confident that they will find another "you" (since of course, they were able to find the first "you" lol). Then...they realize, no one laughs like you, smells like you, kisses like you, smiles like you, is fun like you, makes him feel like you did, etc. By this time though, he's already spent 2+ years trying to replace you with multiple people and you're already engaged/married LOL! 😆
😳🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes give him space to cheat then run back when the other person isn't at all interested in him. So he returns with professions of undying love until you find out about the 3rd party and his lies.
Yep, no thanks! I'm out! I'm not an option or his blow up doll.
@EnMode, my husband of 9yrs. tried to replace me with 4 more marriages, He said he couldn't find another me lol leaving was the best thing I ever did, Never did go back!
Let me plz add here «based on a true story» 😂😂😂😂
The accuracy! Lol
If a man truly loves you, no need for you to effort on how to make him miss you. Just be yourself, if he can't make you feel adored, don't waste any time and find another guy.
True
Easier said than done, most guys want to be single
That's the most stupid advice I've ever heard
@@viniciusbembea it's not stupid it's accurate. Why should a person have to be manipulated into missing you? If they don't miss you naturally, what really is the point
Hihi how has that worked out for you?
I was single until I was 32. Dated a lot. No guy got more than ONE date. Why? Either I was interested or I wasnt. How he may have felt was irrelevant. I lived on my own 10 years. It was MY life. I invite you in if I choose. I never waited for some guy to decide if I was good enough for him. No games. I was myself on dates. I listened, really listened, to what they said on dates. That's all you need to do. You can weed them out pretty quick. (Maybe having 7 brothers gave me guy insight)😊 I met my husband at 32, dated 2 months , got married, 3 years later had 1st baby.....24 years later and 5 kids. Still in love. When you know, you know. 😍
Gr8 to have brothers...... do u mind sharing some insights? If u do have and dont mind to do so
@@sharaniasharania6646 You have to be completely ok with being by yourself, that way you dont settle for less. Let the man chase you, a real man likes that. Be yourself. Ask questions, subtly. You can learn a lot by listening. Dont blather on and on, guys have short attention spans. Dont drink on dates so your alert. Every date I went on was lunch. (Day light)I drove my car. I never told them where I lived. I dressed "girl next door" not slutty. (Leave that for the easy chicks) 😁
@@RatherBHunterthenPrey thank u. Notes taken... haha
@@sharaniasharania6646 good luck to you!
@@RatherBHunterthenPrey dont believe in luck coz imma Christian. But thank u for ur input..... i consider it a valuable knowledge...... i was doin it the wrong way. LOL. Now i know :)
Can we just appreciate everything this man does for us!!???
This is so true. The more unavailable you look the more they want you 🙄. Girls, sometimes doing less is doing more.
I learned that the hard way
And then what happens after that when you stop being unavailable, because that sounds insincere and exhausting!
@@jillsalkin7389 I don't think it needs to be all the time, just the odd Saturday/ Friday night or whatever saying "actually I'm going out with my friends that night" or "I'm planning in an alone day next Saturday" it's good for both of you, it actually is sincere because we all need time to remember who we are out of the relationship
The key is not to chase. Never put him on a pedestal. Never act like he’s the prize. You are the prize he needs to fight for.
Yesss!!
How to make a man miss you:
Step 1.) Go away
Step 2.) Don’t go back
Step 3.) Lose weight
Step 4.) Win the lottery
Lmao!
😂 ❤it
Exactly😂
That is so true. Love it. LOL.
🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
I'm not playing psychological games like this, I don't care if I stay single. Either he misses me or he doesn't. I'm not handing over my power by pretending I'm not handing over my power. Manipulation isn't love. Either he values my worth and personality, or he doesn't, and if not there are always other things to do and other people to meet. The kind of guy you describe is a cowardly baby who isn't worth my time. I only want a man who is determined to have me, hell or high water.
.....
You are right
Chooselove 4all yesss
I totally agree ...this advice is like forcing or tricking sb who doesnt really like you to miss you ....if he truly likes you these games are useless....
Its good advice for those who need it. Everyone does not experience life the dame way. If its going to help with growth and maturity....I am all for it.
Simply said: “A man can’t miss you if you’re never gone!” Sometimes, the creation of “space” and “distance” by focusing on things in your life other than him, allow for him to begin to miss you and want more of you.
Isn't there the option for a woman to miss a man? ;-)
100% correct. It works the other way round too. When I was in my early 20s a guy who was into me would complain to me that I never texted him. I remember replying: "But you already text me 5 times a day and I reply, when am I supposed to text you on top of that? There is virtually no space in between your texts for me to even want to text you." This experience stuck with me and I vowed to myself to never make this mistake myself with a man.
This video made me want to become a nun, where do I apply? Amen!
Hahaha loop you are so right! I cringe
Limary Gutierrez lol
🤣
You can try the Pink Sisters. It’s a contemplative order of nuns. You will fit well with them
hahahaha
Honestly, when watching videos like this... I am thinking, what happened to good old falling in love and wanting to spend your lives together? The basic themes in literature, art, music has always been love... and now it has all become a game to play. (and the rules seem to change all the time... without a warning.) My parents have been married for over 50 years and they married within months from their first encounter. Totally smitten with each other, no mind games. The same for many other couples of that generation... What on earth has happened?!
We are living in very wrong period 😢
Online
Cursed end time generation
Online dating is what destroyed real relationships
@@MissTiffany01 I agree. When I was in my teens and twenties, many people did not even have 'phones in their homes. We had to make calls from phone boxes and arrange to meet at the weekend or in the holidays. The waiting and anticipation was all part of the dating fun. Or we lived in different towns and had to catch trains and buses to meet up. So effort was needed. Constant phoning and messaging erodes this.
men will miss you when they cannot replace your place with another women. be yourself.
Love this! Yes!
you r talking
Thats thruth. But sadly they find new girls so easy.
Unfortunately, everyone is replaceable ... whether it's personal relationships, dating, work, etc *just about everyone* can be replaced ... It might be for a lesser quality person but at the time that's not what they're caring about, they've found another physical body to fill that space. It's one of those difficult and messed up life lessons.
How to make a man miss you? Become a better version of yourself and he'll be challenged to try to obtain you again. At that point, the power is in your hands.
Best Advice
I agree!
Nah. He wasn't there to assist, he's not freeloading any goodies.
Every man is like a four-year-old kid who still needs his mommy. Accurate.
hahaha true
@@sharongreen8982 not all men. it depends if they grow up without a father or broken family.
Nah, I know men with good families and they're still immature.
lol
My older brother is 50 and hes a mommas boy
You don't make a man miss you! Ladies when a mature man misses you
HE'LL TELL YOU!
Exactly
Yes if a man misses you he will tell you again if he's lonely he will also tell you .
If he is married n he doesn't want her gd serious like possessive n he doesnt tell that girl that he mis him
You can't "MAKE" anyone Miss you, Love you etc.. He either cares or he doesn't.
paid infull YES
paid infull yeah but, in my experience, I will usually hit it off with somebody, and then everything kind of dulls down pretty quickly. And it's all because when you're drunk in love it's easy to get carried away by your emotions, but as he said, that oxytocin rush isn't to be trusted as a pillar for a good strong relationship. It burns out easily. That's why it's good to pace it, and take it one step at a time when you really like someone and want them to want to stay by your side.
They want perfect wives or gfs with not a flaw to appear in their view!
paid infull
This video is more about not smothering a guy and thus he will want to seek you out rather than run from you
How to make a man miss you:
1) stop cleaning
2)stop cooking
3)stop doing laundry
lol
Jennifer Dayanan i
Ironically many women don't do those anymore, I enjoy doing them myself anyway. So I won't even notice that you are gone.
😂
Lol
There’s no formula in love.They either love you or don’t.Be yourself and just go with it.
“A Man Always wants what he can’t have “
What if he already has u & takes u for granted?. Should we walk & stay away?
Absolutely!
Noted...😉
Most of the people I know who are happily married, met and then never spent a day apart. If you need to use these tactics the he is not the ONE.
Very truly said
100%
viclloyd1 right
Amen! Many happy couples I know, knew from the first time they met that they were supposed to be together. No mind games, fooling around, or 'testing'..
Exactly.
no wonder why people nowadays can't keep a relationship. So much manipulation and lack of authenticity
Arab Dude
I'm pretty sure manipulation and inauthenticity were always there. The difference is today divorce and breakups are socially acceptable. They weren't some decades ago; they were taboo (mainly divorces).
Doesn't have to be. Men have always wanted their space let.him have it don't have to follow him around like a puppy dog. Its no big deal.
no it's the exact opposite, most people can't keep a relationship BECAUSE they are focusing on authenticity and being themselves.
a woman that nags, a man that ignores, a couple that argues, they are all being themselves and by doing so are driving each other crazy.
not too many people can love and accept each other's negative behaviors. relationships where you take the good with the bad and still love each other, that kind of thing is rare.
all the while those that are manipulative, lack authenticity, and are challenging to the point of being mean, those are the ones that have men eating out of their fingers.
if men really wanted authenticity and love, those that give that would be popular and sought after, but the nice girls can't keep a man, and as a nice gay guy, even i can't keep a man.
who is fighting to get the nice people, that offer authenticity, love, honesty, and kindness? why are those people ignored while the mean ones are treated so well?
how many times have you heard these guys say that they had an ex that treated them like shit? yet they stayed with that ex for years!?
What is the manipulation exactly? He is basically saying dont choke the man and let him breathe so he wont get bored. Arab dumb
Arab Dude. You would say that.
Brian, I have to thank you, not because of relationships advice, but because it was because of you, years back, that I learned to control my panic attacks. The second I heard your voice, I knew it was you :) You have no idea how much you have helped me :)
We're not all hard to get, seriously. We don't all play games and expect that you do one thing or the other. Just be yourself. It's really that simple. if he likes you, he'll like you. if he doesn't, he doesn't - move on. Never forget your self-worth. If he doesn't appreciate you... so what. Plenty more men out there for you.
"It must be his decision to be with you, and not because he is tied that he needs to be with you all the time." I got it! Brian, thank you!
I have been doing the dance with a commitment phobe, avoidant personality. Honestly it is tiring, hurtful. I'm over it. I already am. My new thinking is "l need to give him space to miss me, also l need to take back control, be on my terms, not his". I am a great all round person, why doesn't he want to spend time with me? His association with me is a PRIVILEGE. I AM A GODDESS, HIGH QUALITY WOMAN. I am not allowing him to disrespect me or have him compromise me anymore.
Thank you for the affirmation.
So basically men never grow up...got it 🤔......😄👍🏼
Esther Mocuta 😂
Esther Mocuta Not only.When a man is born he cries to get out.When he is grown up he'd cry to go back in.lol
No, it’s about the woman controlling the relationship, as it should be; the man has power in that he is the protector...
Cat Duval
Every long term HAPPY couple I know has a life outside of their partner---which is what I understood the guy in the videos meant when he talked about space. Long term couples I know who are not happy don't have a life outside of their partner, meaning no space, so they unhealthily depend on their partner for everything. They depend on their partner to bring them happiness rather than creating it independently for themselves. It's way too much pressure and very unrealistic to depend completely on one person (your partner) for YOUR happiness and well-being, and that's when the relationship spirals downward because your partner will never be able to fulfill all of that for you. Space and independence from your partner definitely brings the two of you closer, and it helps your needs and wants get met realistically.
Lol!yeah you got it..
Lol, while he's missing me and I'm giving him space, I'll be dating someone else...js
Rosa De La Paz AHAHA 😂
Hahaha! Right on!
Yesssssss girl lol
Indeed... heading out for a date as I type... This was just confirmation! :-)
👍👍
Life is to short for this.
Skyskysky Divine 🤣
Lmaoo
Was just thinking the same thing. Heheh But I wouldnt be here if it wasnt enough to try and understand the intricacies of it I suppose. 🤔🖤
GREAT video! Only a fool wouldn't take this advice. You don't always want to be available for someone you're getting to know. Giving each other space will give you both time to miss each other.
Love you Brian.. keep the videos coming!
I read a comment "this video made me want to become a nun" I laughed so hard I peed a bit. There are decent men.
I tell u they makes us pee and poo... those chitty men...
The percentage is very low when it comes to decent men.
I felt sleepy listening to his voice . It feels like a bedtime story hahahah
Becaus his story about how man working is boring.
Lmao!!!!
lol it’s true his voice is so calm
True
Thats why iplay this video 1.50x
My now husband lives in Texas when we stared dating and lived in Ohio After a month and a half of dating he asked me to marry him. We spend the next year still dating but living in different states as well. We have been married for over a year now and things Just keep getting better! He misses me even when we are at home together! Seriously so blessed for my hubby!
Ashley Seifert give it a couple of years...
I hope you have a life time to be in such a lovely relationship. Don't listen to others speaking badly of what you have.
He is the one. .God bless 😍
@Cate someone lol
How do you cope with long distance relationship. He asked me to marry him within a few weeks but we will still date for a year or so
I absolutely agree! ^^ Sufficient space is essential in a relationship because men is like a hunter. They love to chase. Thank you so much, Brian for reminding me these things. Cheers!!!
What happens when the chase is over? What keeps him from wanting to continue to chase --- someone else? :-(
Ladies!
Wait until marriage! I had one hook up this summer it was the WORSE experience of my life and I’m still going through heartache before that I had one bf ONLY. I’m too emotional for this hook up culture I’m focusing on myself 💯💪🏾
I honestly think most women aren't built for hookup culture. And those that engage in it often are chipping away at themselves whether they realise it or not.
“I can’t get married this year. All booked up. Yep, every single day this year. Sorry. I could probably squeeze you in next year, though?” 😂
😂😂😂best one ever...
🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
Ahahahahahha
Why should always women worry about the way to "catch and keep" a man and never men to worry about how to "catch and keep" a woman? I think there are too many unacceptable behaviors that we women are more inclined to take from them just for the sake of being with a man at any cost. We are always worried about being "without a man". Now it's not really about mind game playing, which is pointless, it's more about realizing one's own value and not taking any abusive behavior. That's when men miss you, but most important thing, respect you.
angieshanti
There are actually a lot of videos tailored for men trying to "catch and keep" women. They want a partner, too, and feel just as clueless sometimes lol. And I agree that abusive behavior is unacceptable, and should never be tolerated.
I agree, I feel like men always feel they have other options
angieshanti Thank you! You said it so well for me. I don’t bother with the male mind games. The speaker in the video is so articulate and explains so very well, he’s great to watch. It only reinforces why I can’t be more than friends with men.
Yes men are looking to catch and keep , the Right one ! It's what the video is about :) men want to test also, is this the right one for me ? I like the part of continue to be a challenge t keep someone from getting complacent in the relationship and start to take for granted :)
LMAO I genuinely can't express anymore laughter through a simple message. Women HAVE to worry about "catch and keep"? really? I do not watch this type of videos "dating and relationship" advice for women, since I am a man, but you should consider passing by our side of youtube. This is nothing compared to what we have to learn to get women. This is not even close to "mind game playing", you have no idea.
Being here reading the comments really opens my eyes....that women do complain about the most simple things.
Spot on! This isn't game playing or immaturity,Its about trying to awaken a person's lack of appreciation...absence causes a person to realize whether they value something or not.It's common for people to take things for granted .We all do it- with relationships, health, jobs etc...
“Know thyself” is so important while listening to these types of messages. I can apply this to every relationship in my life. Even my best girlfriends and I benefit from space in our relationships. This message and the tone with which it was shared alerts me to the fact that we live in a culture where we as women are groomed to make a man more important than everything else, especially at the first and slightest sign of interest. This level (any level) of neediness is to the detriment of every relationship.
My takeaway: have fun while I engage in relationships. Indulge in the fact that I am desirable. Practice that I am absolutely lovable by doing this sensual dance of coming close then giving space so that I train my mind that it really IS true that I am lovable and desirable. Don’t play games but do be playful. Be liberated!
Thank you for sharing! 🙏
is caring for someone neediness?
me too.. I need space in my relationships as well... space is not defined as other people at this moment in time,, but know that is what you are doing
@@dosesandmimoses WOW! It’s been a long time since I made that comment. On “neediness” I have realized that to need someone to the extant that we recognize their presence in our lives to be something that contributes to our health is a really good thing. I could say that I need a man in my life very much in the same way that healthier food options contribute to a higher quality of life. I used to think that was bordering on being toxic but now I am not afraid to say it (although I am still getting used to it). I have spent so many years doing life - a very hard life- on my own and I have suffered in many ways as a result. It is not a crime to “need” or recognize our need for relationships. But no, I don’t think that caring for someone is neediness, although I am not sure exactly how you mean this. I guess we could say that I need someone to care for/having someone I care for, who cares for me meets my need for giving and receiving love. 💙💗💙 Thank you Jessica for bringing me back to this conversation🙏😊
Brava!
@@jillsalkin7389 🤩🙏🥳🥳
This is actually really good old fashioned advice. My boyfriend and I live over 150 miles apart and both work irregular schedules. If we see each other weekly that is a big deal but twice a month is more accurate. We have had multiple times that we tried to get together and something happened involving my job, his job, my kids, his kids etc and so our visit was cut short or didn't happen. People constantly ask me why l even bother with him since he lives so far away but l can see how this relationship is different in a good way from my last because of the tension that builds during our time apart.
I did this to my Boyfriend ... Now my husband! and it work for me,,,
Thank you soooo much... Love all your videos.. Subscribe
If you don't mind me asking, how soon into the relationship did you set the pace?
Lol congrats 😂😂👌
Honestly I'm disappointed to hear all the things women are supposed to do to keep men interested when it seems like all they have to do is be themselves. It feels like I have to learn how to be some secret maniacal puppet master putting invisible hooks and strings into men so I can control them. This is not a role I really desire and frankly it seems like a lot of pressure and energy to have to be so calculated and controlling.
Kekoa Kaawa RIGHT ON SISTER
In fact I agree...
I agree. It's not natural. And a relationship that is not natural won't last anyway.
I couldn't agree more with it!!! It's ridiculous that we should be constantly responsible for him staying interested. The advice to go against your own inner-flow is based on old patterns that women were forced into. It's time for change. Much better advice to us women would be to get more in touch with their own playfulness (wherever they like) and their need for space. Let's throw the women-are-also-people-card into the game!! Hihaaa!!
Lol it’s a nightmare for men to plan and execute romantic getaways and proposals. Yet they do it to make the woman happy. So isn’t he playing a role for you then?
Ok but I'm his wife not his mother! And my experience has sadly been giving him that time to go play is usually him playing with other toys (women) oh and then he gets bitten by the bee (other woman) realises he doesn't like it so comes back home to good reliable safe wife (mother) so in other words immature men will always be like boys off to play and in need of a mother... give me a real 'man' any day!! Soon to be ex wife.
Jane Bellette Get rid of the bum
If he be seeing other chicks girl go get yourself a real man not a boy!
Jane Bellette PM
he said theirs a lot of guy, let him go wait and pray. if he comes back its a love if not a lot of right man. if you have children focus on theme.
Young men old men they are all the same. I’m now an ex-girlfriend of a Doctor that told me I had to have understanding that he was working hard (lol on another chick) and studying and if he turned his phone off it’s bc he fell asleep 😑 yeah I had to investigate and found out more than I wanted smh that’s what my space and trust did moved him right to the next. Then found out he was buying a home with this other chick. it’s been a few days now and I still feel sick to my gut but lessons learned young or old he was an educated fool and I was just as bad to not put my foot down. #Love hurts
Men are too complicated for me now. I’m too old for these mind games. I’ve been single for a year and a half and I LOVE it! I don’t need to worry about the mind games or worry about possibly being cheated on. I’m in a relationship with someone I can FINALLY fully trust...myself.
I as a man am surprised by how accurate this is 😂
Is it matching ur mindset...
@@notafeminist5948 This video showcases why I missed my ex so much at the time. But since it was my first relationship I got too clingy and we broke up. I was only 16 at the time but I have tried to be more careful ever since.
@@emmanuelibarra435 may I ask what should I do to make my man miss me? 😅
@@marchelingatong8104 Well the concept is pretty simple. When people are told they can't have something they want, it makes them want it more. But the more of something they have, the less they appreciate it. So if you were the one to end the relationship or put some limitation, it would be more likely for him to miss you. But if he saw you as a burden and decided to leave you, then all you can do is hope that he misses something unique about you. In my case, my ex was the one who ended the relationship and made herself less available to me which is why I missed her. However, even if someone misses you, they must care a lot to miss you for a long time. Otherwise they'll just move on just like with everything else in life.
such a funny guy
Playing hard to get has NOTHING to do with REAL love. These advices are good for the beginning stages of "in love" games. But when and IF the REAL feeling happens, there is always a movement towards each other, in loving acts, in taking care, in desire to grow together, to put their partner as a priority.. It is never too much but always not enough time for each other. It is a movement from the surface to the depths of both. Because in REAL LOVE people realise how actually short their life is in order to express and experience the grandeur of that amazing feeling. These are signs that distinguish LOVE from gender games.
Dalia, VERY VERY TRUE AND AMAZINGLY REFRESHING ADVICE. YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED, THANKS FOR EXPRESSING THIS TRUTH!
This is exactly what I tell people.
3 wks into a really great relationship with this seemingly awesome guy, he suddenly told me he loved me. That actually scared me since I had been hurt so many times before and was determined to do things slower and different with him. I couldn't say the 3 words back to him and our whole relationship took a really quick, sharp turn for the worst. Of course, he blamed me for our relationship going sour, but this video explains things a lot. If you don't act needy, which is the behaviors I USED to do, and you don't let yourself get swept away with your emotions, they will either love you and keep coming back or they will leave. It's not mind games, it's just the way it is. This shows strength in a woman and I think men admire that. Thank you! PS. we actually parted as really good friends and he encouraged his best friend to date me and we have become very close. Life is funny, huh?
Be sure to remind your audience how rare true chemistry truly is. Thank You!!
and loyalty right lol?
the little boy at the playgrounds a pretty good analogy
I liked it too :)
it's stupid for the most part. whi wants to baby a man? not me
Yeah, time to grow up and be an actual man who takes responsibility
BelleBean Lol....cute!
Yes it's true because I still have a little boy that wants pampering - he's 60!
Don't force him just be yourself.
Don't always make yourself available
Don't be too cheap
Be an independent woman
Don't call or text him for a while
If you do all this, he will surely miss you.
Thanks dear for all this sweet words 🥰🥰🥰💞
Dear Brian, it is beyond me how I was blessed enough to cross path with one of Your videos yesterday. I´ve heard it over and over again. Your incredible message BUT from other sources. The way You bring it forth is speaking directly to me. Tons of THANK YOU´S!!!!! I´ll make sure to keep up with Your different channels and to get Your books. Simply LOVE Your work! Nothing complicated- straight to the point- with lot of grace in Your ways when You approach various subjects! Love it!
@@successful363 Thank You, precious Soul ✨🙏🏻
So my engagement got broken because I was to excited planning it which Made HIM out of control? Im not going to Play games for men who are actually children
This happened to a friend of mine too. She was too loyal... I can't wait to see her upgrade!
Oh my god, what the heck... what do men want? They’re scared if we are to excited, and if we don’t show any excitement then we are unhappy and they don’t want to be around boring unhappy energy, bunch of damn babies!! What ever happened in the end of your predicament? Curious
Exactly it has to do with the people involved - not play games but know what you're actually worth and either get better or improve where you're heading or settle for what you are
This is not a football match, this is someone's real life and heart
Lol yeah..ig we should play🤦🏻♀️
This sounds like a lot of work that I don’t have energy for. Men should just grow up and communicate properly.
Maybe when he's back, his girl is already married to the man who truly loves her
#thank you so much for the likes 😊😊
😂
@@highvibefemaleceo681 😂😂
Hahaaha it happen to me.. And he miss me forever because im married already haha
InshaAllah
Naaa... maybe she was waiting for you to come rescue her
This man makes a lot of sense. He's describing the male nature that is so unfamiliar to many of us, females. This is how we allow men to mature instead of us being so eager to cater to his every need to prove ourselves useful, to show our love and affection. When he meet us at our level that is when we should proceed with the next phase - and if he is taking too long, then that tells you everything that you need to know about him. Let's be patient but not tolerant. After all, it's obvious that the ball will always come rolling back to our court...
I did exactly what you said and oh my god it really worked!!!!!!!!!
This is so true!! When I think back to the relationships where the men were most committed to me where the ones where I paced the relationship. I wasn't trying to play games I was sincerely slowing them down because they were going at lightning speed.
This makes so much sense. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.👸👑💜
+kristy mathena So true!! I revealed my feelings to a guy I love and yes he's being an idiot, but it's hurting me alot too. 👸👑😔
Princess Vanessa its better not to reveal you love until you know the secret person of their heart. Also wait for it not to have any sex before marriage or be alone with him to put your self in such postion . he don't deserve sex unless he's you husband
Princess Vanessa Why do we have papers or document for cars cats dogs houses boats receipts for trips to Wal-Mart but no papers for the man we give our inner most parts to.
Princess Vanessa God new best when he develop marriage. He knows our emotional state because he developed us. He knows that we would be happy owning our mate. And not trading them like pokemon cards when things went sour. But he developed a system of love so that the marriage work work and sustain hardships.not adultery but hardships. But perhaps even aldutery(not recomended) but could be forgiving. (but ouch) . but you know. Things like love kindness, mildness. Not 😤 pride. Gentle ness. Patience.joy.peace. harmony. A good strong foundation. In order to build a house you don't start at the attic.
There for there shouldn't be any sex or sex like activities until the foundation is laid and the hous is complete on wedding day .metaphorically speaking
Princess Vanessa not really! I just stop being interested !
Wow! Thank you Thank you Thank you! How many times have I gone through this (I'm in one of those times now) and I hate it (you are 110% correct, it is excruciating). I have been able to wait, though not all that patiently, and then eventually we begin again, picking up where we left off. Or there abouts. This time I seem to be suffering more than the last couple times but now that you have enlightened me, I hope I can make myself suffer less. Praise God, my guy has been smart enough to pace himself with no help/forcing from me!
Just a couple small facts to make you smile, perhaps. We have been seeing each other for 6 months. I will be 70 in 2 weeks and he will be 89 in a couple months! Not too old to learn (me) or to still be a MAN. The ONE I've been looking/waiting for all my life! (No I'm not a spinster, LOL)
Thank you so much for this specific explanation for WHY a woman needs to say ‘no’ and have boundaries. Brilliant!
Thank you! I totally did this, wanting to see him all the time and being always available.Giving him his space to miss you makes so much sense. It's hard but will try it in the future!
I love this video. It makes so much sense❤❤❤ One thing I have learned is that if you are a straight woman, NEVER get advice from another woman about men. It's almost always inaccurate💯
Interesting… how so?
I think your advice makes sense for new relationships. As for long term couples, it’s needed to still give each other some space, but not pretend nor play games...
I read all your books! They are phenomenal! They are easy reads, very informative and straight to the point! Thank you!
Keep the authenticity. Women's instinct are best basis. The vibration won't lie to you.
This Chanel is the Holy Grail. I love the advice, the attitude and the energy... Thank you so much Brian for sharing so freely and graciously 🙏🏽
I don't understand why we should pretend ? If I don't express what I feel then what is the point ?
Summer Roberts that's the point, you should control your emotion and know how to lead the relationship
I think everything is individual and even if a girl goes beyond crazy her man won't leave her and you might be very good and right but if he does not care he will leave you.
You're right summer I played this in my twenties badly ..it's just old fashioned 'hard to get' the guy notices its a game and usually sits back laughing. My rules are let's not ignore texts more than a day ..if they do that I just say it's hard to get to know you even as a friend,let's not text often but if we are chatting lets close chats we've started ie keep it friendly. That way live your own life if he doesn't ask you someplace by the Thursday for a weekend time together and then asks you Friday I just say I'm sorry I made some plans I could get a coffee with you Sunday morning ...ie you get to see him but it's on your terms and tell him how great Friday and Saturday night were...pretending to not want to see someone you like is just dumb..like reel in the 'I love you' etc but guys see through this hard to get stuff in seconds
yes, playfulness is good, i like it and i do it. But it should be in a relationship already, not before. I like honesty and sincerity, it should be the base of everything. I don't like pretending to like something if i don't
Summer Roberts
I think the key is to not put all your eggs in one basket that isn't even yours yet, meaning not to put all your intense feelings and emotions onto a guy that isn't your boyfriend yet. It's not playing games if you sincerely have a life outside of the man you have romantic interest in. Honesty and sincerity are great qualities to bring to a man or a relationship---there just needs to be a balance where you have a life you're living, as well as the time you spend with him. If he sees you're putting so much effort into seeing him or telling him how romantic you feel towards him without being officially together, he'll think he's your sole form of happiness and that you don't have much else going on in your life. He'll think he could have been any guy, because having a man is more important than having HIM, specifically. It's like filling a void, and no respectable man (or woman) wants to fill that void. He wants to be with an independent woman that won't allow him or any man to knock her off-balance because she has a life she worked for and she's internally happy with or without him. He wants a woman who WANTS him, not needs him. This comes in handy when you're officially in a relationship, too. Don't lose your independence and the ability to make yourself happy without his help.
This just makes me wonder, how does a married woman create that space for her husband to miss her?
Muach z She needs to have her own life and interests separate from the relationship.
Sls Nmp Bravo!! Well said 👏🏾
Muach z I was married for 25 yrs when he needed space he went to his shed smoke a few cigarettes. Otherwise we went everywhere together. He died and I miss him.
I wondering this too
Muach z lol I'm weak 😂😂😂😂😂
Who want to be missed by Mr.Wrong? I do not, thanks. Real love doesnot need to be pushed.
Okay, okay
I've started watching you not long ago when I desperately typed "He doesn't want me" and two of your videos popped up. I watched both and what can I say? I was hooked. This was it what I needed and what I need now.
I'm young, unexperienced and had my first breakup. No one told me how bad it could hurt someone. And all these videos help me with coping and realizing what I've done, what mistakes I've made and even though it helps, it's still hard for me because I'm still attached to him and to that certain time.
But anyways, thank you for making these videos and helping anyone who might need it! Keep up the good work:)
If the guy you are dating is acting like that 4 year old in the playground treating you like a surrogate mother GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP OK.
Basically don't cling....let him have more alone time
What good does that do. I always do this and they still act up. AND by alone time I mean literally 5 days to a week or over.
sansa drake you must do this with the right men not the wrong ones... Do this for guys that you feel actually care, not those that have proven to lack compassion
@@loridori True. Sometimes Its hard to tell who cares and who doesn't lol. There is one who has backed off because I give him too much alone time😂. I think he wants me to give him more attention
I give up on man. Why play a fucking game? Your not a child anymore! So, having this said: YES!, I'm single, and you have to be fucking amazing to change that!
Exactly right? this right here is what men think about women, that's why many men are getting tired of dating too.
Like...you think this is playing a game? this is nothing. Try dealing with yourselves LOL men have to go with game, a methodology, plan A, plan B, plan C and have a fucking experience LMAO
Giving a man basic human respect of space isn’t a mind game. It’s called not being needy leads to ppl wanting to hang out vs pushing you away. No one even wants friends who are needy lol.
Elin Winblad Agree..
"Men are strange." No doubt.
I like that you actually gave examples in what it sounds like. Very helpful ❤
I nearly made a mistake. Thank goodness I have listened to this post. Now I know and understand why he needs that space.
I think the key is to not make a man your priority until he has made a commitment to you (he is officially your bf). If you don't make a man your priority until then, then there is space between you two, and that's what I understood from what this man was talking about. Once you are in an official relationship, I still think it's important to have a life outside of your relationship---which is where this "space to miss you" bit comes up. All of this is not acting---it's BEING. Maybe some people need to "fake it till they make it," but the goal is to truly be someone who doesn't NEED a partner to be happy with themselves. It's just healthier for everyone not to make their partner their whole life, and I believe that's what this guy means. It creates space at the end of the day.
He’s describing men with strong Narcissistic traits....these guys Love to Lovebomb hot and heavy in the beginning then loose all momentum.
I have always wondered why men need space and why they don’t want to be around their girlfriend when hanging out with their friends. This makes sense. As woman I never thought he was just feeling like a man when he is not with me. I guess it’s really true that space builds attraction for men. Being a woman, attraction grows for me when he spends time with me. Attraction reduces when a man is away from me.
Great adult child insight . Quite helpful. Thank you as usual
Oh, I have done this unintentionally and it works like a charm 😜
When a man is interested in you.. you will know..
Yes, but she won't have the slightest clue when he lost all the interest he had. That's the point of this video.
Sure, until he's tired of it and ghosts....
And everything happens natirally smooth and it dokesnt require any thing. Amen
BRIAN NOX, You have Changed MY Life!!! Thank You or this Analogy.
This resonates a lot with me. I always make myself available whenever men I am dating wanna see me. I need to learn to say no sometimes so that there is that time to miss me. Thank you.
But, what happens when you're past the "chase" phase?
You are so helpful. Thank you. I think a lot of the women who watch you are interpreting your points in the wrong way. They are thinking of it as playing games rather than understanding these innate drivers inside of men.
How about turning that around?
Wouldn’t you like it if your man understood that you enjoyed being listened to, that you enjoyed hearing from him during the day, making dinner for you…etc?? Is HE “ playing games” by trying to please You? Let’s not get stuck in old feminist notions. Move on and just take some practical advice. He’s Not saying to change yourself inside out to please a man. Big difference.
Shit I feel like this is what’s happening in my relationship because I didn’t know better. It’s hard to slow down when the man wants to ask you every question in the book and spend all his time with you
this is me huh.. sorry... I just enjoy you
This is exactly what happened with me. My bf was head over heels for me for almost 3 years and I didn't even want him around at that time. He asked me to marry him after 6 months I made up my mind and I tell him yes.
Things completely changed after that, he was no longer the same person, he kept pushing the wedding plans away and showed less interest. It's quite frustrating because I was not so into him anyway. It hurts my self esteem.
Lol most men are like that 😂😂
If they don't get it easily, they value it more
This is too much mind game Lord...I CAN'T
Priszena Bandeira yeah. Europeans are more straightforward no games.
Lol.. I hear u !! Lord I can’t ether..
If you knew what men go through in dating and relationship videos, for god's sake this is nothing...
It’s not really a mind game. He’s basically saying stop smothering a guy and let him be free / go off on his own (basic human respect) and he will seek you out/ want to come home to you as his safe haven.
Melinda
Just google or search on youtube "chasing women, the friendzone, get her to like you, etc." and you'll find a bunch of results and recommendations to choose from. You may even be interested in the "pickup" community and "pickup artists"
Wow. Great relationship advice and perfect comparison. I am working on building a strong connection with my four year old son and that example was spot on what I needed to hear. Thank you. 🙏🏾
This is a great advice for anyone really. We all need our space men and women. Specially people that are used to be lonely and are introverted. We need our time alone, ladies.
Yes but i had a guy who did this to me for seven years. Wanted to see me 2-4 times a month. I want a man who looks forward to seeing me everyday for the rest of his life. Why are men so dysfunctional?
I would want to see and kiss my husband every day
I would never, in a million years, agree to marry a man I've only been dating a few months. Great, enlightening video! Thank you!
Perhaps it's true when you put a space. But not if he's out there with another woman.
Once I gave my bf space of time but instead of missing me he never ever called me back...or even text me.
Azra Shammi seems like in his mind you were expendable 😢
Azra Shammi
How much space did you give him? There should be a healthy balance of space and time spent together.
Then he never really loved you.
he doesn't love you that's clear. sad to say his not the right guy. one day if you find your true love you will laugh on it. just believe you will find a new and better one
So would clinging to his neck and not letting go have kept him? I hear these sorts of things and wonder if that person ACTUALLY thinks that being a clinger would have been better. Guarantee the answer is “no”.
be positive and make him feel idc if you fade away and be like a butterfly
I agree. Good advice. Men are not wired the same as women. The ones who are the real deal will fight to be with me. It's not playing games it's about understanding the mans psychology. I made all the mistakes of giving too much and now I am toughening up! Thank you 😊
I think the point of this video is to show the man you have taken an interest in is that you want him to need you, but you don’t need him. Don’t wait around on him when you already have a full life, especially when it’s a new relationship. That sets the standard of how things will go while you are getting to know one another. It’s different later on when you are in monogamy. My boyfriend and I agree to be together 4 days a week and out of those days we reserve for just us and we are flexible if we want to include friends/family. It’s not a game or manipulation, it’s showing him you are an asset and you value yourself, as you should! What I’ve come to realize that when you TRULY enjoy yourself as a single and date around, when people aren’t willing to meet you halfway, it may sting but it’s not the end of the world. Needy is a turn off! 😉
Wow all this that you speak of in relationships there are all my experiences I’m just getting to the point how you’re explaining them and wondering why it took me so long to get here. I am grateful for you and I am blessed that you put this out for women so they can avoid emotional trauma and emotional baggage pain and suffering.
agreed...
Such wisdom at such young age, and put in very simple and clear words, yet so logical. Now I understand a lot of the situations I have experienced repeatedly (I also watched your other videos!). You are fantastic Brian! I am glad I stumbled upon your videos this morning. I already signed up for your newsletter and to show further support I am definitely buying your books as well as telling my friends. I don't see this as manipulation at all, it is clearly just knowing how the species "man" tick ;) My girlfriends will love this!
I don't think by doing this it's pretending how you feel or playing games but more that giving someone space helps them to realise how much they care for you. By giving them space it's like giving them a time of self reflection in between - sometimes we need quiet moments or time on our own to know what we want or need and to make changes - it's when it's easiest to listen to our hearts and be honest to ourselves. Having space is like a retreat that you can withdraw to, to consider things. It's one of the reasons we miss someone so much after we end it with them. We are always returning to all those different moments we spent with the person, and those memories replay in our minds. All those small moments, seemingly so miniscule at the time come together and have an impact on how we are feeling. We don't have this playback while we are in the relationship always because we don't always have space to think back, and recall a past time. I suppose that's why for some people, they don't realise they loved someone until it's finished between them, or they are not in contact any more.
You are so entertaining to watch! I love your videos. Thank you so much.