My brother's marriage is intercaste ,my friend's marriage is interstate, my one another friend's marriage is interreligion all marriages are running successfully however my cousin's got married within caste is fighting court case for divorce, cultural and caste differences can be managed however personal difference cannot be managed , personal difference is main reason for unsuccessful marriage, so marry the person with whom u share compatibility and understanding do not give much importance to caste , religion and region.
I wonder how many Muslim women will agree to have inter-religion marriage. Secondly to do inrer-religion marriage they need to 1st keep their burqas aside. So hindu girls need to stop promoting inter-religion marriage. We are from a country which has gone through a partition on religious lines which in turn was the result of demographic change. Muslims of Pakistan are ex-Hindus but that did not stop them from asking for partition. So deepshikha please wake up and don't be so naive.
U r wrong...maximum indians are hhappy marrying in their caste..the girl who goes to other caste suffers.....boys mother is unsatisfied.....and u have to face backlash from other society
Jo log Pak chuke hai apni caste ke relatives se vahi log intercaste kr rahe hai because apni caste me relatives shadi ke time pagal kr dete hai and aane vali Bahu court case.jahan compatibility ho vahi bacche life partner la re Hain this is good
I am a South Indian girl married to a North indian man. Yes, there are frictions surrounding cultures. For eg- i find North indians loud and speak with cuss words in normal conversations also. They're not bad people though.... But the good thing is that me and my husband married quite late in our 30's and we do understand the cultural differences and take our own time to respond to such differences giving each other time, space as well as freedom. There is no parental interference also. I guess marrying late does have a few positives also.
I am from Punjabi married to maharashtrian Brahman happily married for 50 years one of my daughter in law is Bengali and other one is English happily married for 15 and 20 years all are doctors very happy
So your English Daughter in law is Hindu or Christian.She is British or NRI settled in UK. To marry in another caste is fighter but another religion is wrong.
My entire family has always married outside caste and culture. My father is a Rajput and my mother is a brahmin. We were never adopted by both the cultures and for a long time there was hostility in both families. When time came to my marriage I was never accepted in both castes so had to venture out and marry a bengali brahmin girl out of love. Our family is doing exceedingly well and now there is no problems. My bengali family is very supportive of me.
@@princeofheaven19 very few people like you actually say nice stuff about life and don't make it seem like undoable. Thank you for the encouragement, i myself am planning to have an intercaste marriage and have worked on the relationship for ages. Watching this video made me super depressed and got me questioning everything, but seeing your comment was the only good thing i needed. Thank you for being positive and throwing light on the good stuff in life...
@@nehashirodkar1273 I understand where you are coming from and I will not paint a rosy picture. For me it was easier as we never had an extended family support from the time of my parents. If you are a first in your family doing intercaste and if both families are conservative then they will not support you and the couple is on its own. Secondly your kids will always be second class in either castes in the next generation. Love marriage will be their only option.
@@princeofheaven19 my sibling has had a intercaste marriage and i know the consequences and it's very sad and depressing that society has conditional acceptance, but I'm tired of trying to fit in and i know the difficulties that will come but atleast someone is willing to start a life with me with an understanding of me and my life. My family has had a lot of intercaste and inter religious marriages and largely we are treated differently in our society. Eventually for us what has mattered is that the couple manage the marriage. Thank you for the conversation it really helped me reduce the stress in my head
I am a north indian and husband is south Indian.... There are problems.... But I strongly believe if u r financially strong then....... Both sides will be okay ....money has the power to solve everything.... ..... Same cast marriages also have problems.....there r differences and problems everywhere....................we r living happily.
you are correct.Another example is of an Indian girl marrying a WHITE MAN. Tab kisi Indian ko koi problem nahi hoti as a WHITE MAN brings stsuts because we are obsessed with "GORI CHAMDI" .Then koi bi Culture etc nahi dekhta.Sab adjust ho jaata hain. Meri 2 managers the office ke.Unhone apne se 10 years+ older WHITE MEN se shaadi ki aur US chali gayi. Koi bi Indian parents ko problem nahi... STAUTS AND MONEY CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!
Yes, when you want to depend on your relatives for everything then they will poke their nose into your inter region marriage If you are financially independent they don't get a chance to do their BS
I can speak for my experience - I am a Gujarati, born and bred in India for the first 20 years of life. Had a forceful arranged marriage within community at the age of 19. There were problems in the marriage from day one, but no parents/relatives came forward to help, talk with husband/in-laws to bring a solution, etc. Everybody acted dumb, blind, and oblivious. Finally took the decision, and got divorced after almost a decade on my own. Today, in a relationship with a white American with nothing in common except empathy, strong character, and good human values. As long as one is trained/knows how to be respectful, understanding, accepting, compatible, egoless, having integrity, willingness to work things out, mature, and minding one's own business in a good way, things can almost always work out, and thankfully these great traits are not caste/community/religion specific. Food, festivals, clothing, culture, etc are good common things to have but these things have nothing to do in the making of a satisfactory and succesful relationship and/or marriage.
Main issue is the couple living under one roof with saas sasur or joint family. Conflicts are bound to happen there. Even in same caste marriage it happens, you know the whole story. Thats the main issue. If couple lives separately then intercaste mrg or food etc is not a big issue. Ab ek hi ghar main sas sasur Tamil wife aur haryanvi husband rahega to kalah to hou hi. Vo to same caste main bhi hoi hai. Please don't discourage intercaste mrg as it is the best way out to get rid of caste system and close the possibility of communal hatred in India. Jab sab rishtedar ho gaye to danga fasad kiske sath karoge? Soche india Pakistani aapas main shadi karein to kya yuddh karenge?
@An Ethical Perspective right...ye khud nuclear family promote kr rhe the pichli video me...ki paisa hie sbbkuch h...2 ghar me rho..taaki rishta bhi Bach jaye ...or privacy b mile.
I think this is liberal thought process and practical if parents also stay in megacities like mumbai banglore in nuclear families and have almost given up being too rigid in their practises. Issues come when the parents have a joint family, stay in their homeplace since birth and have a deep rooted connection to their practises. Then it becomes difficult because you cannot give up your parents. So it depends i guess on circumstances.
I am a South Indian married to a north Indian, I agree with what he says. I find we quarrel on topics which is so normal in our community. Adjustment is not that easy on day to day basis. As long you live aboard it's ok. But it's a nightmare to imagine to raise kids in between two families.
Thank you for the video. The lines that touched me- 1. Samaj to jaisa hai Vaisala rahega. Vo nahi badlega. 2. Once your in laws reach 70 75 they stop interfering in your life related to cultural things
Partially agree, Partially not .. I Being maheshwari marwari ( born and brought up in maharashtra) married to hard-core punjabi guy from jalandhar ... yes initially I faced many turbulence but later on everything went on smooth. ( many things like behaviour of mother in law or other relatives .... boy already knows how is his mother and other relatives.... boy should be open and transparent in depicting their nature to his would be wife.....) Whyy .. because mutual respect between husband and wife. I learnt cooking authentic punjabi food after my marriage and he learnt to enjoy my marawari plus maharashtrian food. I think in intercast marriage...... maturity and mutual understanding is utmost important factor ..... then everything becomes easier.... otherwise even u marry in same cast u will definitely hit the turbulence and deep stone.
I was a Punjabi girl married to a south Indian , now separated Yes food is a very imp part of our lives , you can eat exotic food 7-8 days max , afterwards you wanna eat your desi food because that’s what satisfies your soul. Someone who ate rice once a week to have rice 3 times a day as a torture of sorts If I cooked my own food or gave it my husband they felt so threatened that I am trying to make that guy Punjabi.Even if I tried following their culture , their way of doing pooja , etc it was always pointed out that how I did it wrong , imagine they would bad mouth me in front of me as I cudnt understand their language. My husbands family was never interested in teaching me their language, it was only my office colleagues who taught me that language. Yes south Indians may be very educated ,soft spoken compared to north people, but they are hundred times more conservative with regards to their culture and traditions to the point of being suffocating. Most of the time I was adjusting , compromising .My identity as an individual had just vanished .Life just became about following their lifestyle. Imagine my educated husband left me outside my office entrance at 7AM as by 9AM Solar eclipse was occurring and he was not ready to have me on road at 9AM. I stood 2 hours outside my office. Intercaste , inter religion marriages do well when both the partners are staying alone abroad. As aboard both wont be able to follow their culture and food habits , so it is more easy. I have loads of IT friends who have done these inter marriages and are settled abroad happily. and yes parents should talk calmly reasoning out the things rather than just shouting and getting annoyed
I am a Punjabi girl was married to a South Indian. His family and relatives were outright abusive towards my culture. I always loved South Indian culture but after the filthy things they kept saying about my community, culture, I feel very hurt. Outwardly they were very traditional but reality was they were not spiritual inside. And yes they wanted as much dowry as possible. Not at all simple and traditional people as they like to show.
@@agnihotrivikas007 Thank you...marrying is easy but getting a divorce takes ages..so please marry very wisely , love isnt the only factor in marriage as shown in our garbage movies.
Anyone who are in love, please go for it. There is no guaranteed same caste or intercaste Marriage can makes you happy. The beauty of love is that it doesn't see one's color, religion, place of birth, it's ultimate connection between two people which many arranged marriage ppl won't understand in their whole life time.
Nailed it. I am in a North - South marriage. Culture difference is a shock and believe me neither family accepts the boy / girl. Marry only if you have a rock solid foundation and commitment. Go ahead with intercaste marriage only if you make a beautiful difference in each other's family. Don't try to be possessive and break up a family in the process.
I totally agree, within caste marriage itself has so many differences . Mindset is affected by upbringing, environment . Even if one person is from city and other from town , mindset changes BTW appreciate the conscious effort " mahila"
I have seen many intercaste and inter-religious couples having a successful married life for the last 30 years. On the other side I have seen a marriage in the same caste but could not last for even a year and ultimately led to divorce.
I have seen many same caste marriages where the couple is very happy. On the other side I have seen inter-caste and inter-religion love marriage where the couple always fights.
Your comparison is totally wrong because what's the % of intercaste/religion marriages as compared to intra one's? Not even 20%.So you can't compare the two it totally depends on the partners and their families but still the lesser the variables the smoother the life would be in my opinion.
My marriage is inter caste and Inter region and we and both families are very happy since past 31 years. My only son may marry from entirely different community. So as future mother in law I am a little anxious. But as you suggested, proper discussion with the couple as well as both sets of parents is absolutely necessary to overcome all the hiccups.
@@ar66281hota hai.. job karne dusre state mein jaoge toh bhi stereotyping hota hai.. aur phir bhi job karne ja rahe hai.. but idhar mein marriage ki baat ho rahi
Sir, apka prospective bht limit tk shi h but i think ye sirf inter religion ya inter region pr zda practical h as compare to inter caste qki inter caste zda time same culture se hi aati h for example (as you like taking examples) if a girl is jaat from noida and the boy is Gujjar from Muzaffarnagar to its an inter caste but unki language unka culture unki upbringing or unka economic background (most of the cases ) same hi hoga , same dono jgha pr faistival honge 1-2 zda hi ho skta h km to ni honge… so it’s about genuinely looking at the culture and background other then just looking at the caste, and even if our society knows that the culture difference is none to bare minimum then its just a ego problem and not a caste problem… thats my take on it my personal views.. and it can be different for others 😊😊
My marriage is intercaste and interstate. Although not much difference in the state My sister married within state within caste. She is struggling with her marriage, mine is still smoother. It all depends on the compatibility of souls and families.
Can't agree more...I have done an intercaste marriage, happily settled and from experience saying that yup..its takes hell lot of adjustments...so pl choose wisely
In these times when everyone fears being judged about political correctness of their speech, I have never come across anyone who is as fearless, pragmatic or who speaks with such depth of knowledge than you Sir🙏🏻 Personally, I liked someone and we were great friends, had I pursued it, getting married was not an issued However I choose not to move in that direction as there was nothing common among our families, No love lasts a lifetime, After few years it comes down to what u can choose to tolerate and bear everyday. Nobody is perfect, but the contempt of familiar imperfections is far better than the frustration of unfamiliar imperfections.
"Every action has a consequesnces. Ap action lete ho, par consequence nahi pata hota he, wahi me batata hu, so you take calculated decision." Really grateful that you are sharing all these life experiences and sutras with us,
You are not just marrying a person you are going into a new complex world where the challenge is to make balance with adjustments towards different aspects of life.
100% correct. I had a practical marriage where i only saw the education of the guy and his sense of responsibility thats all. Everything else paled in comparison to the potential and capability of this person. Though there were many issues the practical aspects acted as a cushion to the marriage. And after many years i discovered all marriages around me are same including the ones that started with lot of love. The practical aspects took over after a period of time and by that time we had developed love within our marriage. ;)
Have faced this live. Have almost stopped talking to inlaws. Forcing me to do rituals, preferring hygiene in kitchens puja rooms but not in bathrooms...and thinking that teaching me a hygiene course as a part of bahu grooming.
Very true topic My parents r intercaste and I have faced this confusion and ridicule in life Luckily I found husband who is very close cultural and religious like me
Marriages work based on the individuals concerned. Same caste, region etc helps in tiding over the initial years where there is so much of stress to adapt to the new customs, culture etc. But later it is on the individuals concerned to work on that and take a midway. As sir has stressed in many of the videos, we need to prioritise the relationships, money matters etc as he always suggests. Many inter marriages work while same type marriages end up in divorces too. General feeling is that of understanding the individuals and respecting, then all marriages would work.
@@shaangaming350ha islye widow remarriage allowed nhi krte😂sati child marriage aur mere gaav mai th ek aurat ko 10 vche hai 32 yrs old bullshit saare riti riwaaz sanatan se hu
@@theunusualgyan9940 KISNE BOLA WIDOW MARRIGE ALLOWED NHI HAI . BY LAW GOVERMENT PROMOTE KARTI WIDOW MARRIGE ON BASIS OF HINDU MARRIGE ACT JISME SPEACIAL GRANTS AND PERKS MILTE HAI .GO AND CHEACK WOMEN Or baat bachee ki tu HINDU mai 1.8 child per women hai jo ki replacement rate se bhi kaam hai Balki muslim Mai 2.54 child per women hai jo ki average rate of children hai . Statistics padh ke aa . And I am reporting your comments in misleading information and cyber crime Mai apki report Kar rha hun I'd, usske baad Mai apka IP ADDRESS TRACK HOGA FIR APKE PAAS PHONE AYEGA CUBER INSPECTOR KA UNSE BAAT KARNA .
Terrific Video Sir. I'm a 27 yr old guy. I once used to be an liberal leftist but became a conservative over the years when maturity kicked in. On this topic, I also developed the same thought process that you mentioned. People do not realise the amount of culture shock one can get in intercaste marriages, specially the girl after she starts to live with the boys family. Leave states aside, here in Bharat culture changes every 100 kms. Even different castes living in same city have very different way of living which has developed in their community thru hundreds of yrs due to their community profession. Liberals disregard this practical historic relevance of things over superficial criticism influenced by the urban city culture which is nothing but sort of western globalised culture. On a funny note, Since I'll be looking for a girl to marry in coming yrs, Sir you can start your own marriage agency only for people who watch your videos. Atleast one would be sure that the individual he/she is going to marry would be a wise person as they consume your content.😛🙏🏼
@@naveenchaudhary4072 thats right... True liberal is a diff thing and being leftist is whole diff caste altogether...we should be liberal and practical..
I had a 2 states marriage and am really happy … yes i do agree in most cases you do make adjustments … there is loss of culture, a bit of confusion but the person you love and marry is worth all that … both can sort of make way for new norm… its much much better than sacrificing your love and marring a someone what ok compatibility person just so there is less issue… all this is dependent on lot of factors and different case to case but i believe if you find “the. Person” then such small changes are totally worth it 😊
Excellent analysis sir. 100 percent accurate and practical. When a couple fall in love they don't realise what will be the consequences after marriage and when they grow old they realise the mistake.
Intercaste marriage or same caste marriage both are doomed if both partners are not enlightened and mature enough. One benefit of intercaste marriage is that it discourages casteism and improvement in child genes. Intercaste marriage se jaativaad shayad khatm ho jaaye india main. Assam Rajasthan wala aapka example theek nahi. Jo jahan rahega vahin ka culture adopt karega. Ye to same caste main bhi hota hai jab bachhe out of state ya foreign rehte hain to unko bhi apni bhasha aur food ka pata nahi hota.
@@prakharprabhat585 they will becaue nana ke paas bhi jayenge aur dada bhi, the children are the change not the marriage, a generation which doesn't view caste as an issue because they view it as normal
All points are true. Our marriage was supported by both families (Marathi & Bengali). Initially it felt like there won't be any challenges but later everything got magnified. But kind of Ghosh family story. I advise my cousins to go for same caste marriage.
I am a goan catholic married to Haryanvi Jaat. We are married for 20 years and have a 13 yr old son. His parents had problem. But he supported me. Now all hv accepted me. Mujhe toh unke family/ cousins se Christmas ke wishes jyada aati hain. My own cousins hv settled abroad.
Marry someone when you both can adopt and adjust each other's family and their lifestyle. Similarly makes your life easier, learned this after living with different people as room mate. Jitna insan mere se similar tha utna life peaceful tha.
Sir you're right on most of the points. But there are some exceptions I would like to mention. You are taking the example of haryana way too often. I am a North Indian born and brought up in Delhi and my wife is a malayalee, her parents too settled in Delhi in 1980's just like my parents. Both the families have very much adjusted to The Delhi culture and eat both North Indian and kerela food. I have been brought up in Mayur vihar which is a very culturally significant neighborhood with lots of malayalees in vicinity so I am well versed with the culture, even lot of my friends from school are from different ethnic groups. Our families respect each other in terms of food, language, rituals and traditions. And the example that you gave for the post partum mother eating "gond", gond is eaten both my North and South Indians, we eat gond ladoo and they make a 'panjiri' sort of a thing out of it. Port partum mothers eat dry fruits and coconut both in North and South of India. Another example of that punjabi girl living in tamil nadu is also not true. So many south Indians are fair in complexion and very attractive even they outnumber the North Indians in being quite attractive. Edit : my wife is from a punjabi dominated colony, rajouri garden and my family is originally from Gorakhpur.
I agree with you . Marriage is all about respect of each other, love, transparency and support, nothing else. Uncle ji is completely wrong and talking about few examples where conservative and narrow minded families do these type of things which is very less in percentage. Spread love ❤ not negetivity.
I belong to SC Community. I fell in love with a girl from Higher Caste, everything was good until the girl came to know about my caste. Now I am blocked everywhere, I have been even called a creep. Some girls in my class used to say that they do not want to marry any SC/ST guy. I graduated from IIT Bombay. I earn more than one crore yearly, still I am judged on my caste. I feel dejected.
Please be proud of ur accomplishments and value ur worth rather than feeling dejected by bring rejected by a person on the basis of ur caste.chin up and look for smone truly educated and enlightend in the right sense rather than pitying urself.1 cr is quite a lot man n u must have reached here thru ur dedication n hardwork so appreciate urself
Excellent video.Eminently sensible advice.Love transcends caste in marriages. But love rocket fizzles out soon.Then intercaste differences hit. Differences in families and lifestyle present problems specially to the newly wedded bride. Add to that differences of food habits ( veg, non veg,...) aggresiveness, customs, festivals in intercaste marriages. Be conscious of these and your ability to reconcile, and only then jump into an intercaste marriage, if you may.
Good Topic, Its impossible and impractical in todays scenario for a man and woman from different caste to adjust, diff religion is way insane as it will create more issues at a later stage...No doubt marriages within same caste is very difficult due to the high expectations from each side and it also fails but atleast same caste marriages eliminate the list of challenges this gentleman has talked in his video. This is my take..Cheers Swami
Bengali girls has ultra level freedom, bengali men respect their daughters choice, that's why it is possible. In other community they don't let their daughter marry outside, but they accept daughter in law from other community.
@@anirbanghosh1670 a consequence of that ultra level freedom is that large number of Bengali Hindu women end up marrying or having relations with Muslim men. How many Muslim Bengali women have married hindu Bengali men? I am sure the numbers are very less when compared with the former.
@@pnnp8757 and end up getting converted. Soon, Bengali Hindus will vanish and there situation will become like that of Bangladeshi Hindus. If they are proud of this strategic blunder, Bengali culture will die once including Durga Pooja and all that forms bengal.
I am north Indian, my husband is South Indian, we love similar food: on daily basis- south Indian and some occasions north Indian (I prefer it that way, our kids too are gastronomically south Indians). We both have similar value system and thought process. His family is also much more sane than mine :-), I would say decide on case by case basis.
Caste system in south india is very strong, pretty sure your south indian husband respects you because of your caste. which falls into brahmin category, for south indian family it's a way up, hence they try little harder when the person from north is from higher caste, as it will boost their reputation in their own community.Marrying into a brahmin family is a achievement in southern India but unfortunetly it goes away with time.
@@sabhrestman6644 please put in effort to 1st learn who all live in southern states. Your comment tells me that you think that there are no Brahmins in South India. Brahmins are found in every state maybe except few in North East. You also think that south India is one homogeneous group. They are not. Every state is different.
@@sabhrestman6644speak for yourself , come out of delusion bro there are brahmins in south india too and majority south Indians don't give a f**k which caste you belong they don't boast based on caste but they boast based on your career.
@@jitheshsrai4992 Are you from south india? South india is more conservative and they have cast system just like north. Only north east don't have cast system because of tribal population.
Sir you are not a speaker on some bold topics, you are a true LEGEND, who is removing the dust infront of eyes, of thought process. Your words and thought process is on practical issues of life. I Respect you sir for your work. May god bless you.
I done love marriage, I was on run for 61 days in HP, I’m from Rajasthan (Jat) my wife is from Kota she is Agarwal it’s been 13 years we have no issue, it’s better do love and then marriage atlist you know that person whom you are marrying, arrange is just not my cup of tea every relationship has up and downs even with you parents so go for it it’s fate no one can change that, live life with ease things and problem will came and goes
I don't think you are a Jat, as a Jat will never change his surname to 'Agarwal'. You are likely a Scheduled Caste whose parents started using a Jat surname.
Sir, I respect very well what u advice-it is better to marry in same Caste. But sir, we Indians r very good at discrimination. We try every possible way to prove ourselves better than someone else. In same state there will be different regions, in same religion there will be many casts, in a Cast also there are many subcastes. People face problems for finding suitable marriage partner for very same reason u mentioned-शादी दो परिवारो की होती है-. और जब सही परिवार ही न मिले तो In such cases intercast/inter religion /interstate marriage can be considered. Inspite of being financially stable, having good behavior, family for no apparent reason...I myself couldn't find a suitable girls family in my caste who was willing to choose me. A wonderful stroke of luck hit when I found intercast,inter religion, inter state, Inter language girl's family happily accepted my proposal. We got married with proper formalities from both families and so far journey is going fine. In my opinion....For stability of marriage....Only thing needed is understanding from both partners...Nothing else.
I would stick to the advice given in first few minutes. If you do such marriage after a certain age of maturity, like 30years then you are smart enough to marry as you like. I have also done intercaste, inter region marriage and in my relatives we are seen as a great example of happy couple. So it all depends upon how mature you are and how much can you mold yourself for your partner's happiness. Btw, my wife is a doctor and is very good at cooking and can cook all kinds of Indian and western food items. So that may be a reason for my happy married life .. I don't know 😅😅
@@IamSoangelic i was blessed to have stayed alone for many years during studies and job. So even i know basic level cooking and can cook proper dinner whenever needed.
Lord Krishna said about 4 varna and to keep them separated atleast for producing future generations. Every caste has its own characteristics in their DNA. Don't play with GOD creation and its rule
Basically this video was abt inter region marriage and not inter caste marriage. My marriage is intercaste but my wife and me are from same state, same city, same school. We blended very easily into each others family.
31:15 Irodov-shirodov 🤣🤣 Thanks for the clarity. I'd look for some linear equations to solve in the future and avoid complex integration and differentiation.
I am north indian brahmin girl married to south indian non brahmin family. Families background also stark difference. I would say well researched content and practical advice. Deep insights without any judgement. Below are my experiences: I was dark skinned ugly girl for my society, but in south i was accepted and appreciated for my beauty 😅😅😅. I am vegetarian, so my husband did ask me to cook non veg at home. And allowed him to eat outside. 🍗🍗🍗🍗. We both are working, didn't get much time to celebrate any festival and do ceremony. We don't live with our families and far from our hometowns. I missed gond laddu after my pregnancy 😢 In general We are neither accepted by North indian or south Indian famlies as family friends😂 But I kinda hated typical UP Brahmins seeing my mother suffering....so took big risk. I was lucky . . . .
If you marry a person from another religion, there is an immense pressure on you to convert. You may be a vegetarian and the partner may be a non vegetarian.
Sir,you are so far sighted ,you understand the practicalities of life so well,the examples you give to explain certain situations are so relatable..they make understanding so simple and crystal clear.May God bless you with healthy life,society is indebted to you.Aap bahut punya ka kaam kar rahe hai.Please accept our gratitude 🙏🙏🙏🙏
You are so right! Even if both of us are maharashtrian, I was used to eat spicy food whereas in-laws house, it was all sweet. I had tough time adjusting just to the food. I had a friend whose parents had inter-religion marriage. Your statement is right - ek ka thik se follow nahi hota, dono ka kaise kare! Those kids don't really know/follow either religion. Hats off to you for this straight forward video.
I have intercaste marriage, certain initial adjustments, hostility was there but me and my husband are living happily since we first met i e. more than 30yrs with two awesome son. I saw scattered marriages with in caste. It is all about care love and respect, not caste.
I'm from haryana and I'm punjabi My papa is punjabi My mother is rajput from up And I've lived my life happily 🙏🏼 I've dated a punjabi boy and meri nhi bani uski thinking process se but meri soch meri caste se bhar k logo se zyada milti h In some way I think mother affects your thinking a lot than your father But I don't think it is that much of an issue ki aap inter caste marriage karo hi mat Life m jagah jagah prr challanges milege and I would rather face them
I would say living with a joint family would be tougher but when only a couple is living by themselves then it would be easier to adjust. But you both will have to adjust either way.
I think a person should be head strong and confident enough then all this materistic concept of society, cultural shock doesn' t affect . You can never please each and everyone in your life be it arrange or intercast marriage. Have a spine if you go for something that challanges people around you. Itna darr k jindagi nhi jee jati. Inka bhi socho..unka bhi socho..aise jindagi nhi jee jati. Life is above all this. Even the closest of people have their selfish motives, who all you are going to make happy? And why! Be honest with yourself and others and live your decisions.
I'm kshatriya and he is brahmin.. Our food habits is same, our ethics are same, our spirituality and thinking is same... the difference is I'm pahadi he is desi... we will have more festivals together...and we both love same food cooked in sasro ka tel😉.. ( but garnished with ghee). We both are hanuman bhakt . I learned to cook satvik food for him, I stopped eating onion and garlic regularly.. I stopped eating eggs...I love him .. and I can survive with him in jungle aswell ( I know to cook on wood and chulha).. I know all his festivals because we live in the society where there are more desi people then pahadi.. Moreover, more than caste, sanskaars matter and we both don't live soo distantly like... Kashmir and kanyakumari.. our states share borders... And we both worship each other... to be true.. we see each other once in a year.. that too for 3-4 hours... because we want set our careers first. Moreover in his family aswell, his parents don't live with his grandparents... they meet occasionally in festivals.. and obviously we will meet occasionally aswell.. so your point don't match my case... 😊
All married couples shall stay alone exploring each other's strong and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. ..lot of adjustments. Shall never share same roof with their in-laws.
Oh God... U nailed it. What a great video. Much needed one. Very nicely articulated. Recently gone through this... My parents denied for intercaste/interreligion marriage. And now I understood what they were saying how factual that was. I was still in that pain somewhere. But after watching this, feeling much more lighter. Thanks sir. It's blessing that people like u exist. That's why I love RUclips so much.
You are right because when in 20s, people want to impress others and while approaching 30s maturity comes and people want a marriage should be more like a companionship
This is 19th century thought . My parents had inter caste marriage in 1958 . Had a beautiful 55 years of marriage. My brother married a girl from another religion. My parents readily agreed . My brother just celebrated 30 years of his marriage. So inter caste , inter religious marriages are workable .
You are wrong sir We need to come out of stigma Everything in the past were decided bcz of caste If you want to marry a person see how you are going to be with them There are many instances people marrying in same caste fighting for relatives issues. They are always busy in families issues . Apne liye time nahi milta. Marry a person for whom you are 100 percent sure whether from same caste or other
Sir aapki hr baat se agree krti hun. Meri arranged marriage huyi thi. punjab se MP mein ayi. Parathe, Sarno ka saag makki ki roti ki jgh poha jlebi aur kachori samosa pr zindagi guzarni pr rhi hai. Culture alg, khana alg, traditions alg, soch alg, uthna bethna baat krna sb alg. Do naav pr svar hona prta hai. Jaape mein panjiri nhi mili kyonki punjab mein gond aur soond se bnti hai jo MP vale digest nhi kr skte.... body mind sb out of control ho gya.... Sir ki baat Mano.... 2-4 din adjust krna aur life time krne mein frk hota hai. Bche sbse zyada piste hain. Husband ko punjab mein leftover lgta hai aur mujhe MP mein. Bahut tragic hai Smjhiye nya jnm jismein aapko poori past life yaad ho aur aap n is life ke rhe n uss life ke
With All Respect Sir ne bade pyaar se or patient k saath love marriage k oppose m or Arrange Marriage k support m saare facts rakhe specially inter state marriage 😅pr focus kiyA and Most Important thing sir ne ek consequence nhi bataya arrange marriages ka But sahi h aapne apnA point of view rkhaa but ek baar 1. Mental compatibility 2. Mutual bonding 3.both are willing to adjust themselves for each other 4. Loyalty etc. Ye saare points bhi clear kr dete specially in Arrange Marriage 🫡🙏🏻😇 Or Sir Samaaj (Society) Support j naam pr arrange marriage m ye boltaa h ki adjust kr lo bs wo bhi specially female partner se
I am blessed with such parents who really involved in discussion of pros and cons... As i belong to lawyer family.. And they all knew the bitter truth of inter cultural association..
@@priyankabhatoa1378 if you looking to broad spectrum of inter caste marriage.. The life will never remain happily after. If u want to marry inter caste.. It can only manage ur and partner for some few months or years likewise in movie. But after ur baby it will get impacted on ur child.Also the marriage depends on the person who you loved. How he can manage the life with you..
I agree with many points in the video but at the same time I feel that any kind of “inter” marriage (intercaste,inter religion or interracial etc) is beneficial in terms of removing cultural bias, bringing empathy and broader perspective and acceptance towards the people of other communities but yes one needs to be open minded for that.
Totally! I understand all his points and pretty much agree. But, I also feel 'inter' marriages are very important for our diversity and harmony. It becomes easier if the couple lives alone rather than with any in-laws. I have an inter religious and inter regional marriage, so that is really nice! The easy part is we are both Hindi speaking.
We women feel the need to remove cultural biases because we have been discriminated against for so long - almost a 1000 years. I would say the culture of India is important, it should not be removed. But if people want to save our culture then Indian men need to change their behavior's and uplift women more. Women have been discriminated against for 1000s of years. They should atleast be discriminated in favour of for a few decades. We still have reservation for the the dicriminated castes in India - when will a support system for women crop up?
@@rashgyl25 then u should read law , you will fear for your brother and family if u read law , it has become extremely biased towards men , an evil girl has enough remedies to put your brother , you and your family behind bars even though they are innocent
It totally depends on the individuals involved…. We can’t judge merely by examples…. Because examples are readily available in the favour of this topic as well!! Absolutely relative and debatable topic…
I agree. Food is a big part. I married late hence I had the maturity of handling the difference and believe me I compromised a lot. Even the other side had to compromise but the percentage is quite less. It also matters if the couple is staying alone or with in laws because that is a bigger adjustment and biggest cause of friction. So if you want to marry in different community, the couple should stay separately for the initial 10 years atleast.
Sir your video is very enlightening for everyone. I just watched it to see whether I audited my marriage correctly or not. To my utter shock I’m sure now that got the zest of life through this video. 😂 I am born in Brahmin family from Jharkhand married to a Kshatriya from UP and it’s been seven years of my marriage and I still feel that my in laws couldn’t accept me as their daughter in law. Though I have been silent about all the weird activities that they all have done to me and now they are behaving devilish indirectly to my kids too. Long story short, in my opinion too, one must never consider a marriage out of own community, religion, caste or otherwise. 🎉❤
Very nice and brutally honest articulation...ek ek shabd sach hai...life is not a fairy tale and the aspects mentioned should be considered before taking the most important decision of one's life..
सर आज की वीडियो से मैं सहमत नहीं हूं मैं भी हरियाणा से हूं, हरियाणा के छोटे छोटे गांव में अपनी जाति में शादी हो रही है और बहुत सारे तलाक भी हो रहे हैं, मैं दिल्ली में रहती हूं, जहां तक त्योहारों का सवाल है आजकल स्कूल में भी हरिद्वार मनाए जाते हैं तो बच्चे बचपन से ही सब त्यौहार मनाते हैं तो त्योहारों को लेकर कोई भी कंफ्यूजन आजकल के बच्चों में नहीं होता है, दूसरा बच्चे होने के बाद सबसे पहले डॉक्टर की सलाह ली जाती है आज का डॉक्टर के हिसाब से कम होता है उसके बाद लड़की को उसकी मां और उसके साथ दोनों तरह से ही खाना खिलाती है ताकि वह तंदुरुस्त हो जाए, पोल साइंस यह मानती है कि जितना हम अलग जाति में और अलग धर्म में शादी करते हैं उतने ही स्वस्थ बच्चे हम पैदा करते.... और आजकल की लव मैरिज एक दो साल प्यार होते ही नहीं होती है लव प्यार भी 4,5 साल रहता है और लड़का लड़की एक दूसरे को अच्छे से जान जाते हैं आजकल दोनों वर्किंग होते हैं इसलिए उन में लड़ाई झगड़ा काम होते हैं दोनों बिजी होते हैं और घर में मेड लगी होती है खाना बनाने वाला लगा होता है कोक लगा होता है तो उनका काम करने की भी लड़ाई नहीं होती जैसी हरियाणा में बोलते हैं की लड़ाई तो काम करने की होती है और मैं और मेरे पति हरियाणा से हैं लेकिन मेरे बेटे को हम दोनों की आवाज और बोलने का तरीका अजीब लगता है क्योंकि यह सही बात है कि हम लोग थोड़ा तेज आवाज में बात करते हैं लेकिन इसमें बहू की तो कोई गलती ही नहीं है क्योंकि अरे बेटे को अजीब लगता है तो मुझे उसको बार बार बोलना पड़ता है बेटा हम हरियाणा के हैं और हम ऐसे ही हैं, हमारे घर में एक बहू आई जो अलग कलर से आई उसको कुछ भी नहीं पता था लेकिन वह अपने ही शादी में सब कुछ सीख गई, अपने देवर की शादी में उसने सब कुछ खुद ही संभाल लिया और मैं दिल्ली में ऐसे भी बहुत सारे घर देखे हैं जिनके मां बाप अरेंज मैरिज भी दूसरी कास्ट में कर देते हैं, वह भी छोटी उम्र me, ऐसे मैंने चार पांच केस देखें और मैं हैरान हो गई शादी चाहे कैसी भी हो अगर समझदारी है सहन शक्ति है तो दोनों ही कामयाब हो सकती है
Culture differences are not the problem. They are just superficial symptoms. The real problem is people not wanting to adjust. If you have some tradition you follow and don’t force on others. You have special requirements for food you cook ur way and let other person cook their way. It’s live and let live policy that very few people follow. That’s why divorce happens even within community.
Such a complex topic explained quite simply and easy to relate/comprehend manner. My faith is not the the same as sanatana dharma but i am very impressed with this - "actions and their consequences". Too good. Thank you sir
Nicely done I’m a Punjabi brahmin girl married into a UP jain family Though both of us were born and brought up in Delhi True that is difficult initially I was 19 when I got married Though it has been 26 years now With ups and downs Kuch benefits toh yeh hai ki Pressure of following culture kam ho jata hai Thodi freedom milti hai Girls ko understand karna chaiye ki app us ghar ke part ho ab toh unka Religion and culture accept karke follow karo Try to be a part of that family Ghar ke bade logo se acchi relationship rakho respect karo Jo kam nahi kar sakte try karo aur help mango elders se Maine ye hi kiya Ab husband se jayda mujhe pyar aur support karte hai unki family Bahut badi joint family hai aur bachche bhi apne cousins ke sath acche hai Agar live marriage kari hai toh sirf husband ko nahi unki puri family ko live karo kyunki vo aase apne family ki vajah se hi hai Man se pyar karoge toh aasani se adjust ho jayoge Today I have better relations with my in laws than my cousins who were married into the same caste by arranged marriage
Content ke king ho sir aap shat shat pranaam
Logical content!! , content toh bahut hai internet peh
🙏🏼🙏🏼😂
Very good content.....but do you think today's youngsters are open to such dialogue...I have serious doubt .What is the way out...
@@KIIXI😊
@@santoshgupta1561apna kaam banta
My brother's marriage is intercaste ,my friend's marriage is interstate, my one another friend's marriage is interreligion all marriages are running successfully however my cousin's got married within caste is fighting court case for divorce, cultural and caste differences can be managed however personal difference cannot be managed , personal difference is main reason for unsuccessful marriage, so marry the person with whom u share compatibility and understanding do not give much importance to caste , religion and region.
I fully agree with you. I have seen intercaste and inter-religious couples successfully living their married life for the last 30 years.
I wonder how many Muslim women will agree to have inter-religion marriage. Secondly to do inrer-religion marriage they need to 1st keep their burqas aside. So hindu girls need to stop promoting inter-religion marriage. We are from a country which has gone through a partition on religious lines which in turn was the result of demographic change. Muslims of Pakistan are ex-Hindus but that did not stop them from asking for partition.
So deepshikha please wake up and don't be so naive.
U r wrong...maximum indians are hhappy marrying in their caste..the girl who goes to other caste suffers.....boys mother is unsatisfied.....and u have to face backlash from other society
Jo log Pak chuke hai apni caste ke relatives se vahi log intercaste kr rahe hai because apni caste me relatives shadi ke time pagal kr dete hai and aane vali Bahu court case.jahan compatibility ho vahi bacche life partner la re Hain this is good
@@subhodip3064in these years mother in laws are adjusting according to their son n Bahu(of other caste).pahle vali saas badle leti thi
I am a South Indian girl married to a North indian man. Yes, there are frictions surrounding cultures. For eg- i find North indians loud and speak with cuss words in normal conversations also. They're not bad people though.... But the good thing is that me and my husband married quite late in our 30's and we do understand the cultural differences and take our own time to respond to such differences giving each other time, space as well as freedom. There is no parental interference also. I guess marrying late does have a few positives also.
Lmao as if you got another option at 30
Then why are you here? why are u watching this
I am from Punjabi
married to maharashtrian Brahman happily married for 50 years one of my daughter in law is Bengali and other one is English happily married for 15 and 20 years all are doctors very happy
Becoz you are not following you culture there is no difference between a atheist family and your family
So your English Daughter in law is Hindu or Christian.She is British or NRI settled in UK. To marry in another caste is fighter but another religion is wrong.
My entire family has always married outside caste and culture. My father is a Rajput and my mother is a brahmin. We were never adopted by both the cultures and for a long time there was hostility in both families. When time came to my marriage I was never accepted in both castes so had to venture out and marry a bengali brahmin girl out of love. Our family is doing exceedingly well and now there is no problems. My bengali family is very supportive of me.
I am so happy for you... Stay blessed may you have a wholesome life
@@nehashirodkar1273 Thank you for your kind words
@@princeofheaven19 very few people like you actually say nice stuff about life and don't make it seem like undoable. Thank you for the encouragement, i myself am planning to have an intercaste marriage and have worked on the relationship for ages. Watching this video made me super depressed and got me questioning everything, but seeing your comment was the only good thing i needed. Thank you for being positive and throwing light on the good stuff in life...
@@nehashirodkar1273 I understand where you are coming from and I will not paint a rosy picture. For me it was easier as we never had an extended family support from the time of my parents. If you are a first in your family doing intercaste and if both families are conservative then they will not support you and the couple is on its own. Secondly your kids will always be second class in either castes in the next generation. Love marriage will be their only option.
@@princeofheaven19 my sibling has had a intercaste marriage and i know the consequences and it's very sad and depressing that society has conditional acceptance, but I'm tired of trying to fit in and i know the difficulties that will come but atleast someone is willing to start a life with me with an understanding of me and my life. My family has had a lot of intercaste and inter religious marriages and largely we are treated differently in our society. Eventually for us what has mattered is that the couple manage the marriage. Thank you for the conversation it really helped me reduce the stress in my head
I am a north indian and husband is south Indian.... There are problems.... But I strongly believe if u r financially strong then....... Both sides will be okay ....money has the power to solve everything.... ..... Same cast marriages also have problems.....there r differences and problems everywhere....................we r living happily.
you are correct.Another example is of an Indian girl marrying a WHITE MAN. Tab kisi Indian ko koi problem nahi hoti as a WHITE MAN brings stsuts because we are obsessed with "GORI CHAMDI" .Then koi bi Culture etc nahi dekhta.Sab adjust ho jaata hain.
Meri 2 managers the office ke.Unhone apne se 10 years+ older WHITE MEN se shaadi ki aur US chali gayi.
Koi bi Indian parents ko problem nahi...
STAUTS AND MONEY CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!
@@roughtough5901 😂😂 yes
@@roughtough5901😂😂 rightly said
@@roughtough5901 hahaha yes
Yes, when you want to depend on your relatives for everything then they will poke their nose into your inter region marriage If you are financially independent they don't get a chance to do their BS
I can speak for my experience - I am a Gujarati, born and bred in India for the first 20 years of life. Had a forceful arranged marriage within community at the age of 19. There were problems in the marriage from day one, but no parents/relatives came forward to help, talk with husband/in-laws to bring a solution, etc. Everybody acted dumb, blind, and oblivious. Finally took the decision, and got divorced after almost a decade on my own. Today, in a relationship with a white American with nothing in common except empathy, strong character, and good human values. As long as one is trained/knows how to be respectful, understanding, accepting, compatible, egoless, having integrity, willingness to work things out, mature, and minding one's own business in a good way, things can almost always work out, and thankfully these great traits are not caste/community/religion specific. Food, festivals, clothing, culture, etc are good common things to have but these things have nothing to do in the making of a satisfactory and succesful relationship and/or marriage.
Thanks for sharing..🙏
how long you have been married to a white american?
@bhaveshoza7142 in a relationship not married. Huge difference
Come back to us once you finally have a successful marriage with your white partner.
@@doncorleone3901 exactly , bf aur husband me bohot difference hota hai
Main issue is the couple living under one roof with saas sasur or joint family. Conflicts are bound to happen there. Even in same caste marriage it happens, you know the whole story. Thats the main issue. If couple lives separately then intercaste mrg or food etc is not a big issue. Ab ek hi ghar main sas sasur Tamil wife aur haryanvi husband rahega to kalah to hou hi. Vo to same caste main bhi hoi hai. Please don't discourage intercaste mrg as it is the best way out to get rid of caste system and close the possibility of communal hatred in India. Jab sab rishtedar ho gaye to danga fasad kiske sath karoge? Soche india Pakistani aapas main shadi karein to kya yuddh karenge?
@An Ethical Perspective right...ye khud nuclear family promote kr rhe the pichli video me...ki paisa hie sbbkuch h...2 ghar me rho..taaki rishta bhi Bach jaye ...or privacy b mile.
Insan mc soch aur impurities ke Karan Sara dukh hai
If u don't like caste, then why do you have "Chahal" as your surname?
I think this is liberal thought process and practical if parents also stay in megacities like mumbai banglore in nuclear families and have almost given up being too rigid in their practises. Issues come when the parents have a joint family, stay in their homeplace since birth and have a deep rooted connection to their practises. Then it becomes difficult because you cannot give up your parents. So it depends i guess on circumstances.
Balak Gyan mat do phle Jake kuran padho Dhang se fir Gyan Dena .
Or apne is Utopia world se bhar niklo. Tv thoda kam dekha karo
I am a South Indian married to a north Indian, I agree with what he says. I find we quarrel on topics which is so normal in our community. Adjustment is not that easy on day to day basis. As long you live aboard it's ok. But it's a nightmare to imagine to raise kids in between two families.
why do idli vada combo with chole batura..better do a combo with sambar chatney..everything will fell in place
Thank you for the video. The lines that touched me- 1. Samaj to jaisa hai Vaisala rahega. Vo nahi badlega. 2. Once your in laws reach 70 75 they stop interfering in your life related to cultural things
Partially agree, Partially not .. I
Being maheshwari marwari ( born and brought up in maharashtra) married to hard-core punjabi guy from jalandhar ... yes initially I faced many turbulence but later on everything went on smooth. ( many things like behaviour of mother in law or other relatives .... boy already knows how is his mother and other relatives.... boy should be open and transparent in depicting their nature to his would be wife.....)
Whyy .. because mutual respect between husband and wife. I learnt cooking authentic punjabi food after my marriage and he learnt to enjoy my marawari plus maharashtrian food.
I think in intercast marriage...... maturity and mutual understanding is utmost important factor ..... then everything becomes easier.... otherwise even u marry in same cast u will definitely hit the turbulence and deep stone.
@@ashitmukherjee5934 may be but love , understanding and warmth of my husband played very very important role ...
True dear
I was a Punjabi girl married to a south Indian , now separated Yes food is a very imp part of our lives , you can eat exotic food 7-8 days max , afterwards you wanna eat your desi food because that’s what satisfies your soul. Someone who ate rice once a week to have rice 3 times a day as a torture of sorts If I cooked my own food or gave it my husband they felt so threatened that I am trying to make that guy Punjabi.Even if I tried following their culture , their way of doing pooja , etc it was always pointed out that how I did it wrong , imagine they would bad mouth me in front of me as I cudnt understand their language. My husbands family was never interested in teaching me their language, it was only my office colleagues who taught me that language. Yes south Indians may be very educated ,soft spoken compared to north people, but they are hundred times more conservative with regards to their culture and traditions to the point of being suffocating. Most of the time I was adjusting , compromising .My identity as an individual had just vanished .Life just became about following their lifestyle. Imagine my educated husband left me outside my office entrance at 7AM as by 9AM Solar eclipse was occurring and he was not ready to have me on road at 9AM. I stood 2 hours outside my office. Intercaste , inter religion marriages do well when both the partners are staying alone abroad. As aboard both wont be able to follow their culture and food habits , so it is more easy. I have loads of IT friends who have done these inter marriages and are settled abroad happily.
and yes parents should talk calmly reasoning out the things rather than just shouting and getting annoyed
I am a Punjabi girl was married to a South Indian. His family and relatives were outright abusive towards my culture. I always loved South Indian culture but after the filthy things they kept saying about my community, culture, I feel very hurt.
Outwardly they were very traditional but reality was they were not spiritual inside. And yes they wanted as much dowry as possible. Not at all simple and traditional people as they like to show.
@@mad_in_2020 Yes very true they are religious not spiritual , all their prayers are for getting something from God , very greedy.
Thanks for your guidance, I'm 25 years old and I will take this as advice for my upcoming decision. Happy new year to you
@@agnihotrivikas007 Thank you...marrying is easy but getting a divorce takes ages..so please marry very wisely , love isnt the only factor in marriage as shown in our garbage movies.
@@dovarksan1770 Thank you very much for your guidance. 🙂🙂❤️
Anyone who are in love, please go for it. There is no guaranteed same caste or intercaste Marriage can makes you happy. The beauty of love is that it doesn't see one's color, religion, place of birth, it's ultimate connection between two people which many arranged marriage ppl won't understand in their whole life time.
true
EXACTLY....
Practicality beats all kinds of love.
@@narender7106 well said
so true.....
Totally agree. The lesser the adjustment the better. Thank you sir
Nailed it. I am in a North - South marriage. Culture difference is a shock and believe me neither family accepts the boy / girl. Marry only if you have a rock solid foundation and commitment. Go ahead with intercaste marriage only if you make a beautiful difference in each other's family. Don't try to be possessive and break up a family in the process.
I totally agree, within caste marriage itself has so many differences . Mindset is affected by upbringing, environment . Even if one person is from city and other from town , mindset changes
BTW appreciate the conscious effort
" mahila"
I have seen many intercaste and inter-religious couples having a successful married life for the last 30 years. On the other side I have seen a marriage in the same caste but could not last for even a year and ultimately led to divorce.
I have seen many same caste marriages where the couple is very happy. On the other side I have seen inter-caste and inter-religion love marriage where the couple always fights.
@@pnnp8757 good reply
Your comparison is totally wrong because what's the % of intercaste/religion marriages as compared to intra one's? Not even 20%.So you can't compare the two it totally depends on the partners and their families but still the lesser the variables the smoother the life would be in my opinion.
@@pnnp8757 right
i have seen many inter caste marriage which led to divorce and murder
My marriage is inter caste and Inter region and we and both families are very happy since past 31 years. My only son may marry from entirely different community. So as future mother in law I am a little anxious. But as you suggested, proper discussion with the couple as well as both sets of parents is absolutely necessary to overcome all the hiccups.
Ye kuch bhi bol raha hai. Jab job karne jate hai dusre state me tab koi problem nahi hota hai
@@ar66281hota hai.. job karne dusre state mein jaoge toh bhi stereotyping hota hai.. aur phir bhi job karne ja rahe hai.. but idhar mein marriage ki baat ho rahi
@@ar66281 bhai job tu baar baar change karsakta hai marriage nhi
Sir, apka prospective bht limit tk shi h but i think ye sirf inter religion ya inter region pr zda practical h as compare to inter caste qki inter caste zda time same culture se hi aati h for example (as you like taking examples) if a girl is jaat from noida and the boy is Gujjar from Muzaffarnagar to its an inter caste but unki language unka culture unki upbringing or unka economic background (most of the cases ) same hi hoga , same dono jgha pr faistival honge 1-2 zda hi ho skta h km to ni honge… so it’s about genuinely looking at the culture and background other then just looking at the caste, and even if our society knows that the culture difference is none to bare minimum then its just a ego problem and not a caste problem… thats my take on it my personal views.. and it can be different for others 😊😊
My marriage is intercaste and interstate. Although not much difference in the state
My sister married within state within caste. She is struggling with her marriage, mine is still smoother. It all depends on the compatibility of souls and families.
Can't agree more...I have done an intercaste marriage, happily settled
and from experience saying that yup..its takes hell lot of adjustments...so pl choose wisely
In these times when everyone fears being judged about political correctness of their speech, I have never come across anyone who is as fearless, pragmatic or who speaks with such depth of knowledge than you Sir🙏🏻
Personally, I liked someone and we were great friends, had I pursued it, getting married was not an issued
However I choose not to move in that direction as there was nothing common among our families,
No love lasts a lifetime,
After few years it comes down to what u can choose to tolerate and bear everyday.
Nobody is perfect, but the contempt of familiar imperfections is far better than the frustration of unfamiliar imperfections.
"Every action has a consequesnces. Ap action lete ho, par consequence nahi pata hota he, wahi me batata hu, so you take calculated decision."
Really grateful that you are sharing all these life experiences and sutras with us,
You are not just marrying a person you are going into a new complex world where the challenge is to make balance with adjustments towards different aspects of life.
100% correct. I had a practical marriage where i only saw the education of the guy and his sense of responsibility thats all. Everything else paled in comparison to the potential and capability of this person. Though there were many issues the practical aspects acted as a cushion to the marriage. And after many years i discovered all marriages around me are same including the ones that started with lot of love. The practical aspects took over after a period of time and by that time we had developed love within our marriage. ;)
Have faced this live. Have almost stopped talking to inlaws. Forcing me to do rituals, preferring hygiene in kitchens puja rooms but not in bathrooms...and thinking that teaching me a hygiene course as a part of bahu grooming.
One of the best video of the channel...BOLD HARSH AND ABSOLUTE TRUTH
One needs to have practical sense, common sense to understand the contents and importance of this video.
Very true topic
My parents r intercaste and I have faced this confusion and ridicule in life
Luckily I found husband who is very close cultural and religious like me
I really appreciate that food wala part. Everyday food is indeed an integral part of a married life. 100% Agree 👍🏻
Marriages work based on the individuals concerned. Same caste, region etc helps in tiding over the initial years where there is so much of stress to adapt to the new customs, culture etc. But later it is on the individuals concerned to work on that and take a midway. As sir has stressed in many of the videos, we need to prioritise the relationships, money matters etc as he always suggests.
Many inter marriages work while same type marriages end up in divorces too.
General feeling is that of understanding the individuals and respecting, then all marriages would work.
@@jptiwari8061 lmao spotted the Brahman
Agree, but as he said, added on variables in the equation. Two people happy versus 20 unhappy for rest of their life...
No , marriage is not individualistic . Family is inportant thing in sanatan marriage .
@@shaangaming350ha islye widow remarriage allowed nhi krte😂sati child marriage aur mere gaav mai th ek aurat ko 10 vche hai 32 yrs old bullshit saare riti riwaaz sanatan se hu
@@theunusualgyan9940 KISNE BOLA WIDOW MARRIGE ALLOWED NHI HAI .
BY LAW GOVERMENT PROMOTE KARTI WIDOW MARRIGE ON BASIS OF HINDU MARRIGE ACT JISME SPEACIAL GRANTS AND PERKS MILTE HAI .GO AND CHEACK WOMEN
Or baat bachee ki tu HINDU mai 1.8 child per women hai jo ki replacement rate se bhi kaam hai
Balki muslim Mai 2.54 child per women hai jo ki average rate of children hai .
Statistics padh ke aa .
And I am reporting your comments in misleading information and cyber crime Mai apki report Kar rha hun I'd, usske baad Mai apka IP ADDRESS TRACK HOGA FIR APKE PAAS PHONE AYEGA CUBER INSPECTOR KA UNSE BAAT KARNA .
You put my heart out... last statement was the ultimate. No relationship can bear the burden of all the relationships
Terrific Video Sir. I'm a 27 yr old guy. I once used to be an liberal leftist but became a conservative over the years when maturity kicked in. On this topic, I also developed the same thought process that you mentioned. People do not realise the amount of culture shock one can get in intercaste marriages, specially the girl after she starts to live with the boys family. Leave states aside, here in Bharat culture changes every 100 kms. Even different castes living in same city have very different way of living which has developed in their community thru hundreds of yrs due to their community profession.
Liberals disregard this practical historic relevance of things over superficial criticism influenced by the urban city culture which is nothing but sort of western globalised culture.
On a funny note, Since I'll be looking for a girl to marry in coming yrs, Sir you can start your own marriage agency only for people who watch your videos. Atleast one would be sure that the individual he/she is going to marry would be a wise person as they consume your content.😛🙏🏼
Marriage agency for Amit Sangwan's platinum subscribers - that would be a good idea, hah.
Marry a virgin girl not corrupted by any one it’s easier from ur own caste
*if your are liberal then you cant be leftist*
And if you are leftist then you can't be liberal
*you were basically pseudo liberal*
Marraige forum for Sango life sutras followers is the best idea. !!
@@naveenchaudhary4072 thats right... True liberal is a diff thing and being leftist is whole diff caste altogether...we should be liberal and practical..
I had a 2 states marriage and am really happy … yes i do agree in most cases you do make adjustments … there is loss of culture, a bit of confusion but the person you love and marry is worth all that … both can sort of make way for new norm… its much much better than sacrificing your love and marring a someone what ok compatibility person just so there is less issue… all this is dependent on lot of factors and different case to case but i believe if you find “the. Person” then such small changes are totally worth it 😊
Excellent analysis sir. 100 percent accurate and practical. When a couple fall in love they don't realise what will be the consequences after marriage and when they grow old they realise the mistake.
Intercaste marriage or same caste marriage both are doomed if both partners are not enlightened and mature enough. One benefit of intercaste marriage is that it discourages casteism and improvement in child genes. Intercaste marriage se jaativaad shayad khatm ho jaaye india main. Assam Rajasthan wala aapka example theek nahi. Jo jahan rahega vahin ka culture adopt karega. Ye to same caste main bhi hota hai jab bachhe out of state ya foreign rehte hain to unko bhi apni bhasha aur food ka pata nahi hota.
Child takes the caste of its father in intercaste marriages. I have seen many such cases. Intercaste marriage will never eliminate the caste system.
Intercaste marriage ke bachee ki koii izzat nahi hoti hai society mein.
@@prakharprabhat585 they will becaue nana ke paas bhi jayenge aur dada bhi, the children are the change not the marriage, a generation which doesn't view caste as an issue because they view it as normal
@@jatinkumarshukla4472 tum nhi krte ho iska matlab ye nhi ki nhi hoti aur teri izzat krne ya naa krne se kya farak padega😂
@@AryanSinghVarman ha to tu karlee na kaun rook raha hai tumhee
Compatible life style is must for marriage. To provide peaceful existence. Which in turn leads to
ultimate growth.
Sir, your boldest effort yet. Lot of people like me relate to what you said but we’re unable to give logical arguments like these. Great job.
All points are true. Our marriage was supported by both families (Marathi & Bengali). Initially it felt like there won't be any challenges but later everything got magnified. But kind of Ghosh family story. I advise my cousins to go for same caste marriage.
i married internationally.
caste ko choro, videshi ladki se shadi ki hai maine.
Marry who you like and love. caste ko maro goli
So basically ur unhappy in bengali family.... but thanks for coming in bengali family...when many bengali girls are marrying others
@@robertlee-nq6mg1 number
exactly.. brahmans should not intermarry because we have different living habits than any other community..❤
@@robertlee-nq6mg Bhai how did you meet your spouse?
I am a goan catholic married to Haryanvi Jaat. We are married for 20 years and have a 13 yr old son.
His parents had problem. But he supported me. Now all hv accepted me. Mujhe toh unke family/ cousins se Christmas ke wishes jyada aati hain. My own cousins hv settled abroad.
Superb clarity. When you are young and in love, practicalities are the last thing on your mind. This video is for everybody.
What a line "Pyare to nhi rok sakte krna chahiye 😍"....
Marry someone when you both can adopt and adjust each other's family and their lifestyle. Similarly makes your life easier, learned this after living with different people as room mate. Jitna insan mere se similar tha utna life peaceful tha.
Sir you're right on most of the points.
But there are some exceptions I would like to mention.
You are taking the example of haryana way too often. I am a North Indian born and brought up in Delhi and my wife is a malayalee, her parents too settled in Delhi in 1980's just like my parents. Both the families have very much adjusted to The Delhi culture and eat both North Indian and kerela food.
I have been brought up in Mayur vihar which is a very culturally significant neighborhood with lots of malayalees in vicinity so I am well versed with the culture, even lot of my friends from school are from different ethnic groups. Our families respect each other in terms of food, language, rituals and traditions.
And the example that you gave for the post partum mother eating "gond", gond is eaten both my North and South Indians, we eat gond ladoo and they make a 'panjiri' sort of a thing out of it. Port partum mothers eat dry fruits and coconut both in North and South of India.
Another example of that punjabi girl living in tamil nadu is also not true. So many south Indians are fair in complexion and very attractive even they outnumber the North Indians in being quite attractive.
Edit : my wife is from a punjabi dominated colony, rajouri garden and my family is originally from Gorakhpur.
Great inputs
I agree with you . Marriage is all about respect of each other, love, transparency and support, nothing else. Uncle ji is completely wrong and talking about few examples where conservative and narrow minded families do these type of things which is very less in percentage. Spread love ❤ not negetivity.
गज़ब वीडियो है जी . . आपके पास समझाने के लिए proper vocabulary भी है। . . .उम्दा
I belong to SC Community. I fell in love with a girl from Higher Caste, everything was good until the girl came to know about my caste. Now I am blocked everywhere, I have been even called a creep. Some girls in my class used to say that they do not want to marry any SC/ST guy. I graduated from IIT Bombay. I earn more than one crore yearly, still I am judged on my caste. I feel dejected.
Bad for the society that highly educated people like you are facing this problem. I am hopeful that the problem will be solved in the near future
Please be proud of ur accomplishments and value ur worth rather than feeling dejected by bring rejected by a person on the basis of ur caste.chin up and look for smone truly educated and enlightend in the right sense rather than pitying urself.1 cr is quite a lot man n u must have reached here thru ur dedication n hardwork so appreciate urself
Then find some girl from your own caste
Judging based on money (1 crore) is also not right...
I have been through this
What you said is time tested principles of our culture. Going against it has its own consequences. Very practical and correct guidance.
Only Brahman terrorist have probelm with anti caste marriage
After seeing this video.. आपका तजुरबा और विचार शक्ति लाजवाब है। Such a beautiful and pragmatic perspective। Already shared। Thanks for such guidance।
Excellent video.Eminently sensible advice.Love transcends caste in marriages. But love rocket fizzles out soon.Then intercaste differences hit. Differences in families and lifestyle present problems specially to the newly wedded bride. Add to that differences of food habits ( veg, non veg,...) aggresiveness, customs, festivals in intercaste marriages. Be conscious of these and your ability to reconcile, and only then jump into an intercaste marriage, if you may.
Good Topic, Its impossible and impractical in todays scenario for a man and woman from different caste to adjust, diff religion is way insane as it will create more issues at a later stage...No doubt marriages within same caste is very difficult due to the high expectations from each side and it also fails but atleast same caste marriages eliminate the list of challenges this gentleman has talked in his video. This is my take..Cheers Swami
Sir i have never seen someone talking on this topic so bluntly.
Thanks. Pls share it with family and friends
@@SangoLifeSutras already shared on family group. 🙏
Say saw falsely !
@SangoLifeSutras not wanna share such toxicity
I always wanted to have inter-community marriage. I did it, I got married in 2013. My dream came true
Bengali girls has ultra level freedom, bengali men respect their daughters choice, that's why it is possible. In other community they don't let their daughter marry outside, but they accept daughter in law from other community.
@@anirbanghosh1670 Also bengalis are quite below average looking.
@@anirbanghosh1670 a consequence of that ultra level freedom is that large number of Bengali Hindu women end up marrying or having relations with Muslim men. How many Muslim Bengali women have married hindu Bengali men? I am sure the numbers are very less when compared with the former.
@@Diaaa982 direct action day reasearch karo
@@pnnp8757
and end up getting converted. Soon, Bengali Hindus will vanish and there situation will become like that of Bangladeshi Hindus.
If they are proud of this strategic blunder, Bengali culture will die once including Durga Pooja and all that forms bengal.
I am north Indian, my husband is South Indian, we love similar food: on daily basis- south Indian and some occasions north Indian (I prefer it that way, our kids too are gastronomically south Indians). We both have similar value system and thought process. His family is also much more sane than mine :-), I would say decide on case by case basis.
Caste system in south india is very strong, pretty sure your south indian husband respects you because of your caste. which falls into brahmin category, for south indian family it's a way up, hence they try little harder when the person from north is from higher caste, as it will boost their reputation in their own community.Marrying into a brahmin family is a achievement in southern India but unfortunetly it goes away with time.
@@sabhrestman6644 please put in effort to 1st learn who all live in southern states. Your comment tells me that you think that there are no Brahmins in South India. Brahmins are found in every state maybe except few in North East.
You also think that south India is one homogeneous group. They are not. Every state is different.
@@sabhrestman6644speak for yourself , come out of delusion bro there are brahmins in south india too and majority south Indians don't give a f**k which caste you belong they don't boast based on caste but they boast based on your career.
@@jitheshsrai4992 Are you from south india? South india is more conservative and they have cast system just like north. Only north east don't have cast system because of tribal population.
If one is too concerned with culture and what " would the uncle ji say " then yes all he is saying is valid.
Sir you are not a speaker on some bold topics, you are a true LEGEND, who is removing the dust infront of eyes, of thought process. Your words and thought process is on practical issues of life.
I Respect you sir for your work. May god bless you.
I done love marriage, I was on run for 61 days in HP, I’m from Rajasthan (Jat) my wife is from Kota she is Agarwal it’s been 13 years we have no issue, it’s better do love and then marriage atlist you know that person whom you are marrying, arrange is just not my cup of tea every relationship has up and downs even with you parents so go for it it’s fate no one can change that, live life with ease things and problem will came and goes
Haryana and Rajasthan is very little cultural and food and society difference
Shaadi ke baad aapne apna surname change kardiya?
@@pnnp8757 ha yrr
I don't think you are a Jat, as a Jat will never change his surname to 'Agarwal'. You are likely a Scheduled Caste whose parents started using a Jat surname.
Sir,
I respect very well what u advice-it is better to marry in same Caste. But sir, we Indians r very good at discrimination. We try every possible way to prove ourselves better than someone else. In same state there will be different regions, in same religion there will be many casts, in a Cast also there are many subcastes.
People face problems for finding suitable marriage partner for very same reason u mentioned-शादी दो परिवारो की होती है-.
और जब सही परिवार ही न मिले तो In such cases intercast/inter religion /interstate marriage can be considered. Inspite of being financially stable, having good behavior, family for no apparent reason...I myself couldn't find a suitable girls family in my caste who was willing to choose me.
A wonderful stroke of luck hit when I found intercast,inter religion, inter state, Inter language girl's family happily accepted my proposal. We got married with proper formalities from both families and so far journey is going fine.
In my opinion....For stability of marriage....Only thing needed is understanding from both partners...Nothing else.
👌बहुत सुंदर, सरल, स्पष्ट और शिक्षाप्रद विश्लेषण !
बहुत बहुत साधुवाद..🙏
I would stick to the advice given in first few minutes. If you do such marriage after a certain age of maturity, like 30years then you are smart enough to marry as you like.
I have also done intercaste, inter region marriage and in my relatives we are seen as a great example of happy couple. So it all depends upon how mature you are and how much can you mold yourself for your partner's happiness.
Btw, my wife is a doctor and is very good at cooking and can cook all kinds of Indian and western food items. So that may be a reason for my happy married life .. I don't know 😅😅
Have a happy life
@@vivek8580 yes
What about u ? U don't cook
@@IamSoangelic i was blessed to have stayed alone for many years during studies and job. So even i know basic level cooking and can cook proper dinner whenever needed.
Lord Krishna said about 4 varna and to keep them separated atleast for producing future generations. Every caste has its own characteristics in their DNA. Don't play with GOD creation and its rule
Basically this video was abt inter region marriage and not inter caste marriage. My marriage is intercaste but my wife and me are from same state, same city, same school. We blended very easily into each others family.
right..title is wrong
31:15 Irodov-shirodov 🤣🤣
Thanks for the clarity. I'd look for some linear equations to solve in the future and avoid complex integration and differentiation.
I am north indian brahmin girl married to south indian non brahmin family. Families background also stark difference. I would say well researched content and practical advice. Deep insights without any judgement. Below are my experiences:
I was dark skinned ugly girl for my society, but in south i was accepted and appreciated for my beauty 😅😅😅.
I am vegetarian, so my husband did ask me to cook non veg at home. And allowed him to eat outside. 🍗🍗🍗🍗.
We both are working, didn't get much time to celebrate any festival and do ceremony.
We don't live with our families and far from our hometowns.
I missed gond laddu after my pregnancy 😢
In general We are neither accepted by North indian or south Indian famlies as family friends😂
But I kinda hated typical UP Brahmins seeing my mother suffering....so took big risk. I was lucky . . . .
If you marry a person from another religion, there is an immense pressure on you to convert.
You may be a vegetarian and the partner may be a non vegetarian.
To avoid that both of them should have decent maturity level
Sir,you are so far sighted ,you understand the practicalities of life so well,the examples you give to explain certain situations are so relatable..they make understanding so simple and crystal clear.May God bless you with healthy life,society is indebted to you.Aap bahut punya ka kaam kar rahe hai.Please accept our gratitude 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Dil se khushi ho rahi hai, jab aise clarity milti hai na, to bht hi achha lag lgta hai
You are so right! Even if both of us are maharashtrian, I was used to eat spicy food whereas in-laws house, it was all sweet. I had tough time adjusting just to the food. I had a friend whose parents had inter-religion marriage. Your statement is right - ek ka thik se follow nahi hota, dono ka kaise kare! Those kids don't really know/follow either religion. Hats off to you for this straight forward video.
My marriage is 2011 intercaste im from mp brahman and she's bengali brahman everything is Happy❤
Isme konsa intercaste h ?😂😂😂 inter regions ( jagah and culture difference h bolo and caste same )
@@ujjwalchhatrapal6862 MP Brahmin don't take meat, bengali Brahmin eat beef, there is huge difference between them
I have intercaste marriage, certain initial adjustments, hostility was there but me and my husband are living happily since we first met i e. more than 30yrs with two awesome son. I saw scattered marriages with in caste. It is all about care love and respect, not caste.
I'm from haryana and I'm punjabi
My papa is punjabi
My mother is rajput from up
And I've lived my life happily 🙏🏼
I've dated a punjabi boy and meri nhi bani uski thinking process se but meri soch meri caste se bhar k logo se zyada milti h
In some way I think mother affects your thinking a lot than your father
But I don't think it is that much of an issue ki aap inter caste marriage karo hi mat
Life m jagah jagah prr challanges milege and I would rather face them
"Dad is a Punjabi and Mum is a rajput from UP"
Punjabi is not a caste.
I would say living with a joint family would be tougher but when only a couple is living by themselves then it would be easier to adjust.
But you both will have to adjust either way.
I think a person should be head strong and confident enough then all this materistic concept of society, cultural shock doesn' t affect . You can never please each and everyone in your life be it arrange or intercast marriage. Have a spine if you go for something that challanges people around you. Itna darr k jindagi nhi jee jati. Inka bhi socho..unka bhi socho..aise jindagi nhi jee jati. Life is above all this. Even the closest of people have their selfish motives, who all you are going to make happy? And why! Be honest with yourself and others and live your decisions.
Very practical advice. Well done, sangoji
I'm kshatriya and he is brahmin.. Our food habits is same, our ethics are same, our spirituality and thinking is same... the difference is I'm pahadi he is desi... we will have more festivals together...and we both love same food cooked in sasro ka tel😉.. ( but garnished with ghee). We both are hanuman bhakt . I learned to cook satvik food for him, I stopped eating onion and garlic regularly.. I stopped eating eggs...I love him .. and I can survive with him in jungle aswell ( I know to cook on wood and chulha).. I know all his festivals because we live in the society where there are more desi people then pahadi.. Moreover, more than caste, sanskaars matter and we both don't live soo distantly like... Kashmir and kanyakumari.. our states share borders... And we both worship each other... to be true.. we see each other once in a year.. that too for 3-4 hours... because we want set our careers first. Moreover in his family aswell, his parents don't live with his grandparents... they meet occasionally in festivals.. and obviously we will meet occasionally aswell.. so your point don't match my case... 😊
Lmao how many wars have you fought
Castiests are such cowards.
Thwy want to control indians by shouting hindu hindu all day long and then come up with such nonsense excuses
All married couples shall stay alone exploring each other's strong and weaknesses, likes and dislikes.
..lot of adjustments. Shall never share same roof with their in-laws.
Oh God... U nailed it. What a great video. Much needed one. Very nicely articulated. Recently gone through this... My parents denied for intercaste/interreligion marriage. And now I understood what they were saying how factual that was. I was still in that pain somewhere. But after watching this, feeling much more lighter. Thanks sir. It's blessing that people like u exist. That's why I love RUclips so much.
You are right because when in 20s, people want to impress others and while approaching 30s maturity comes and people want a marriage should be more like a companionship
This is 19th century thought . My parents had inter caste marriage in 1958 . Had a beautiful 55 years of marriage.
My brother married a girl from another religion. My parents readily agreed . My brother just celebrated 30 years of his marriage.
So inter caste , inter religious marriages are workable .
You are wrong sir
We need to come out of stigma
Everything in the past were decided bcz of caste
If you want to marry a person see how you are going to be with them
There are many instances people marrying in same caste fighting for relatives issues. They are always busy in families issues . Apne liye time nahi milta. Marry a person for whom you are 100 percent sure whether from same caste or other
Thank you sir ❤ u are a great teacher.
Sir aapki hr baat se agree krti hun. Meri arranged marriage huyi thi. punjab se MP mein ayi. Parathe, Sarno ka saag makki ki roti ki jgh poha jlebi aur kachori samosa pr zindagi guzarni pr rhi hai. Culture alg, khana alg, traditions alg, soch alg, uthna bethna baat krna sb alg. Do naav pr svar hona prta hai. Jaape mein panjiri nhi mili kyonki punjab mein gond aur soond se bnti hai jo MP vale digest nhi kr skte.... body mind sb out of control ho gya....
Sir ki baat Mano.... 2-4 din adjust krna aur life time krne mein frk hota hai. Bche sbse zyada piste hain. Husband ko punjab mein leftover lgta hai aur mujhe MP mein. Bahut tragic hai
Smjhiye nya jnm jismein aapko poori past life yaad ho aur aap n is life ke rhe n uss life ke
With All Respect Sir ne bade pyaar se or patient k saath love marriage k oppose m or Arrange Marriage k support m saare facts rakhe specially inter state marriage 😅pr focus kiyA and Most Important thing sir ne ek consequence nhi bataya arrange marriages ka But sahi h aapne apnA point of view rkhaa but ek baar 1. Mental compatibility 2. Mutual bonding 3.both are willing to adjust themselves for each other 4. Loyalty etc.
Ye saare points bhi clear kr dete specially in Arrange Marriage 🫡🙏🏻😇
Or Sir Samaaj (Society) Support j naam pr arrange marriage m ye boltaa h ki adjust kr lo bs wo bhi specially female partner se
Brilliant piece of advice. Totally agree💯... Itercaste examples are 2 gud.. 😀😀🙏
I am blessed with such parents who really involved in discussion of pros and cons... As i belong to lawyer family.. And they all knew the bitter truth of inter cultural association..
Hey charu can you explain more on your thoughts on intercaste marriage ?? Actually the boy I like is also a lawyer and is also a brahmin
@@priyankabhatoa1378 if you looking to broad spectrum of inter caste marriage.. The life will never remain happily after. If u want to marry inter caste.. It can only manage ur and partner for some few months or years likewise in movie. But after ur baby it will get impacted on ur child.Also the marriage depends on the person who you loved. How he can manage the life with you..
I agree with many points in the video but at the same time I feel that any kind of “inter” marriage (intercaste,inter religion or interracial etc) is beneficial in terms of removing cultural bias, bringing empathy and broader perspective and acceptance towards the people of other communities but yes one needs to be open minded for that.
Totally! I understand all his points and pretty much agree. But, I also feel 'inter' marriages are very important for our diversity and harmony. It becomes easier if the couple lives alone rather than with any in-laws. I have an inter religious and inter regional marriage, so that is really nice! The easy part is we are both Hindi speaking.
@@bhadwamuhammad979 Well said. Very good, pragmatic and practical observation.
We women feel the need to remove cultural biases because we have been discriminated against for so long - almost a 1000 years. I would say the culture of India is important, it should not be removed. But if people want to save our culture then Indian men need to change their behavior's and uplift women more. Women have been discriminated against for 1000s of years. They should atleast be discriminated in favour of for a few decades. We still have reservation for the the dicriminated castes in India - when will a support system for women crop up?
@@rashgyl25 then u should read law , you will fear for your brother and family if u read law , it has become extremely biased towards men , an evil girl has enough remedies to put your brother , you and your family behind bars even though they are innocent
Awesome. You sold the concept to me. No comment.
It totally depends on the individuals involved…. We can’t judge merely by examples…. Because examples are readily available in the favour of this topic as well!! Absolutely relative and debatable topic…
Excellent, Sir. Very much needed during this times.
मैंने अपनी caste में ही शादी की एक से रिवाज है एक सा खानपान फिर भी एक बोझ सा ढ़ो रहीं हू 25 साल से कमा कर खिला रहीं हूँ वो मुझसे प्यार भी नहीं करते
Aap unka khyaal nhi rakhati isiliye ❤
I agree. Food is a big part. I married late hence I had the maturity of handling the difference and believe me I compromised a lot. Even the other side had to compromise but the percentage is quite less. It also matters if the couple is staying alone or with in laws because that is a bigger adjustment and biggest cause of friction. So if you want to marry in different community, the couple should stay separately for the initial 10 years atleast.
MAG
I totally agree with most of the points you mentioned
Bold and realistic topics 👏🏻
Sir.. Aapke har video kuchh na kuchh important sikha jate hai. Thank you. Bhagwan aapko lambi umar de
Sir your video is very enlightening for everyone. I just watched it to see whether I audited my marriage correctly or not. To my utter shock I’m sure now that got the zest of life through this video. 😂 I am born in Brahmin family from Jharkhand married to a Kshatriya from UP and it’s been seven years of my marriage and I still feel that my in laws couldn’t accept me as their daughter in law. Though I have been silent about all the weird activities that they all have done to me and now they are behaving devilish indirectly to my kids too. Long story short, in my opinion too, one must never consider a marriage out of own community, religion, caste or otherwise. 🎉❤
It is the problem of your parent... Not her and your...
correct dear.. marry within caste & community is still far better..
Very nice and brutally honest articulation...ek ek shabd sach hai...life is not a fairy tale and the aspects mentioned should be considered before taking the most important decision of one's life..
Your efforts are great sir. You discuss topics which are need of the hour, and which everyone else avoids. Really commendable effort.
The way you explain these topics is awesome.
सर आज की वीडियो से मैं सहमत नहीं हूं मैं भी हरियाणा से हूं, हरियाणा के छोटे छोटे गांव में अपनी जाति में शादी हो रही है और बहुत सारे तलाक भी हो रहे हैं, मैं दिल्ली में रहती हूं, जहां तक त्योहारों का सवाल है आजकल स्कूल में भी हरिद्वार मनाए जाते हैं तो बच्चे बचपन से ही सब त्यौहार मनाते हैं तो त्योहारों को लेकर कोई भी कंफ्यूजन आजकल के बच्चों में नहीं होता है, दूसरा बच्चे होने के बाद सबसे पहले डॉक्टर की सलाह ली जाती है आज का डॉक्टर के हिसाब से कम होता है उसके बाद लड़की को उसकी मां और उसके साथ दोनों तरह से ही खाना खिलाती है ताकि वह तंदुरुस्त हो जाए, पोल साइंस यह मानती है कि जितना हम अलग जाति में और अलग धर्म में शादी करते हैं उतने ही स्वस्थ बच्चे हम पैदा करते....
और आजकल की लव मैरिज एक दो साल प्यार होते ही नहीं होती है लव प्यार भी 4,5 साल रहता है और लड़का लड़की एक दूसरे को अच्छे से जान जाते हैं
आजकल दोनों वर्किंग होते हैं इसलिए उन में लड़ाई झगड़ा काम होते हैं दोनों बिजी होते हैं और घर में मेड लगी होती है खाना बनाने वाला लगा होता है कोक लगा होता है तो उनका काम करने की भी लड़ाई नहीं होती जैसी हरियाणा में बोलते हैं की लड़ाई तो काम करने की होती है
और मैं और मेरे पति हरियाणा से हैं लेकिन मेरे बेटे को हम दोनों की आवाज और बोलने का तरीका अजीब लगता है क्योंकि यह सही बात है कि हम लोग थोड़ा तेज आवाज में बात करते हैं लेकिन इसमें बहू की तो कोई गलती ही नहीं है क्योंकि अरे बेटे को अजीब लगता है तो मुझे उसको बार बार बोलना पड़ता है बेटा हम हरियाणा के हैं और हम ऐसे ही हैं,
हमारे घर में एक बहू आई जो अलग कलर से आई उसको कुछ भी नहीं पता था लेकिन वह अपने ही शादी में सब कुछ सीख गई, अपने देवर की शादी में उसने सब कुछ खुद ही संभाल लिया
और मैं दिल्ली में ऐसे भी बहुत सारे घर देखे हैं जिनके मां बाप अरेंज मैरिज भी दूसरी कास्ट में कर देते हैं, वह भी छोटी उम्र me, ऐसे मैंने चार पांच केस देखें और मैं हैरान हो गई
शादी चाहे कैसी भी हो अगर समझदारी है सहन शक्ति है तो दोनों ही कामयाब हो सकती है
Culture differences are not the problem. They are just superficial symptoms. The real problem is people not wanting to adjust. If you have some tradition you follow and don’t force on others. You have special requirements for food you cook ur way and let other person cook their way. It’s live and let live policy that very few people follow. That’s why divorce happens even within community.
Nice informative content produced after thorough research what actually happens in real life. Please make video on live in relationships.
Such a complex topic explained quite simply and easy to relate/comprehend manner. My faith is not the the same as sanatana dharma but i am very impressed with this - "actions and their consequences". Too good. Thank you sir
Nicely done
I’m a Punjabi brahmin girl married into a UP jain family
Though both of us were born and brought up in Delhi
True that is difficult initially
I was 19 when I got married
Though it has been 26 years now
With ups and downs
Kuch benefits toh yeh hai ki
Pressure of following culture kam ho jata hai
Thodi freedom milti hai
Girls ko understand karna chaiye ki app us ghar ke part ho ab toh unka Religion and culture accept karke follow karo
Try to be a part of that family
Ghar ke bade logo se acchi relationship rakho respect karo
Jo kam nahi kar sakte try karo aur help mango elders se
Maine ye hi kiya
Ab husband se jayda mujhe pyar aur support karte hai unki family
Bahut badi joint family hai aur bachche bhi apne cousins ke sath acche hai
Agar live marriage kari hai toh sirf husband ko nahi unki puri family ko live karo kyunki vo aase apne family ki vajah se hi hai
Man se pyar karoge toh aasani se adjust ho jayoge
Today I have better relations with my in laws than my cousins who were married into the same caste by arranged marriage
You are right Sir I did inter caste marriage its been 13 years of my marriage iam still not able to adjust with family culture
Combo mix plate vada pao nehi chalta kabhi kabhi...