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Aadmi ke liye ek hii Solution hai ke, Man zyada se zyada Biwiya rakhe, kyuki Duniya musafir khana ha, or Zyada biwiya hogi toh kisi ek par dependency nahi hogi, toh Biwi apki achhe se seva kregi. Or Biwi ka bhi Kaam kam hoga, Sath me mil kar ek bada parivar bnega, Khushal parivar bnega. Sirf Aadmi ko Strong, Samajdar or Family-Loving hona chahiye, or kisi Biwi ke sath discrimination Nah krta ho.
I have bought premarital course of 777 can u pls assist me how can I use it m diverted to one app named as my institute and it is asking for some company code ??
Father's sacrifice is always underestimated.My dad only breadwinner,never enjoyed lavish lifestyle but gave us highest level of education,always would teach us after coming from office till 1 or 2 clock late night.That's why we became experts.When all the children started earnings the entire credit was taken by my mom.According to her,she sacrificed her life but what about my dad,he never ever went alone or with his friends to watch movie or to eat out.He always gave us more than what he could.I totally agree with you,Sir.These moms are manipulating and scheming, plotting to take the entire credit.
Pls dont generalize things... Aisa hua hoga aapke ghar mei, not everywhere. All moms r not manipulative, not all dads r manipulative... changes from family to family
Fathers never have time to create good impression as they were always busy in earning money and taking care of children's fees college education, marriage expenditure etc. They were Never loved enough by own grown up kids. Only fortunate fathers get support - what they really deserve.
This is so true. Sadly my passed away last year, wish i had learned this earlier in my life. My mother also made him a villain in my life. Later I realised that was not the case.
Women or Shudra ko control me hii rakhna chahiye. . Women(by Nature) ( Men bhi Woman ke Nature ke ho toh unhe bhi control krna chahiye) . Shudra( Not by surname, but by behaviour, Occupation & Quality)
Main point is that everyone needs an emotional support . Kisiko kaabu nahi karna hai , bass dhang se sorted life lead Karni hai bina kisiko ghulaam banaaye ya control kkiye.
My husband has been controlling me for last 9 years. He decides to whom i should talk or not. Even it's been 9 years i haven't visited my father's house, because of my kids i can't leave or divorce him. I have to live like this my whole life
Get some counselling from a professional. Don’t talk to your friends, they will only listen and gossip. Speaking poorly about your husband in public will only reduce trust even further
Now a days girls marry not for family or love, They marry only for financial stability... Women wants their rights without any responsibilities and duties and they termed responsibilities and duties as domestic abuse..... That is why marriage become liability for men.... I belive in - If possible do love marriage , otherwise dont marry... However if it is love marriage or Arranged marriage ready or know what to do and How to protect your asset if wife blackmail you, cheats you or want to divorce you....
Solution to all this problem is man should learn to do all the house hold chores and should learn to do nursing care for their own parents without expecting a out side women to do it for your parents.....why men is not capable of that? Now a days women r working and taking responsibility, same like man also must do all domestic labour work with wife for a complete happy family
@@doremon9999nonsense That's not solution. Men should better themselves as man . Learning cooking and domestic chore is ok it's part of life. But domestic chore must be done by wife. Only those who know women's psychology can understand the wisdom behind it.
I'm 55 yrs old. Shaadi se 2 saal pehle se husband dusre city m job karte hue ghar akele manage karna seekh gaye the. Shaadi k pehle saal m muje bhi bahut support kiya but usi duration m unki mother k sachchai pata chali k dono beto ko bhed bhav se pala tha.husband bade bete the to unko sirf zimmedariyan ,yahan tak k padhne ka bhi time nahi deti thi aur chhote bhai ko padhai k alawa duniya m kya ho raha h ,isase kuchh matlab nahi hota tha. Apni maa k baad husband ki duniya m dusri aurat mere roop m aayi. Jab muje khud bhi unke parents k behaviour ka experience hua aur pehle ki baatein bhi pata chali tab subconsciously husband k liye care karne k bhavna aati gayi .Means patni k saath maa ka pyar bhi diya ,jo unki life m missing tha. Ab kya maine unko dependent jaanboojhker banaya taaki wo baad m mere gulaam ban jaaye.
You really loved your husband.. just be with her.. he needs your support for his further life.. maybe he had been exploited by his mother and brother.. I hope I also get a wife who treats me also as mother do..
dont worry!! you sure are a good wife... If you are long life partner you're not only husband and wife but everything to each other, You can fill the void of their Parents, Teachers, Sibling even you can treat them as your child. There is nothing wrong with it. I also have some scars from my childhood due to family problems and I'll be happy if my wife is filling them (By choice) and even I am ready to fill hers.
@@abhaysoni926 You won't get if you be only Mama's boy. You will get if you equally respect, love and stand by your wife. And, Love is not dialogue. Equal sharing by Actions is love. Use bataoge, ki wo aurat hai, to use ye karna chahiye, to apne time pe wo tumhe batayegi ki tum admi ho tumhe, wo karna chahiye. It will go on.
As a man, choose your partner wisely, understand your parents' marriage deeply, support your own family over all others yet understand your role as the weighing scale in the house. What you allow to perpetrate will become the precedence for all others - be warm yet firm in your dealings at home. Lead your people in the right direction, lead by example.
My mother in law has done the same with her family. She has passed it on to her daughter. I heard my sister in law's daughters telling me " mom does everything in the house. If she is not there, even a hanky won't be in its correct place. There is no house without mom." I asked the children "who told u this?" They said "mom"
Video is very nice 👍👍. Things are so well explained. How much a woman has to do to make a safe place in her sasural ! This is a servival story of a bahu who wishes to make a secure ground for her . Please do keep on guiding and councelling us
The uniqueness of this channel is its very real and relatable. You should continue doing this. Please don't get into selling a book in the end like the whole creator market even if any content manager advises to.. yes It is a part of monetizing online content but now in the subconscious of the audience it has become like, Bhai ye bhi wahi creator jinko apni book bechna hai aur phir mehenge courses bechna hai. Hold your unique content as a USP. Thanks & All the best.
Your insights into this phenomena are indeed, phenomenal!!! Such depth can't come just by hardwork or experience alone, a very subtle right mix of understanding and erudity is needed to pierce so deep into the depths of truth... I seldom appreciate youtubers.. but you really are one of a kind... hats off to you sir
Akele hi jivan ka anand Lena hoga lag raha hai ladka ladki dono ko, itne sir k information sun k Aisa hi laga mujhe, paise kamane hai, Ghar k logo par adhikaar nahi jamana hai, na biwi se koi matlab rakhna hai na control hona hai bas thoda pyar Dena hai thoda saath dena hai , bass thoda thoda karke har chiz jina hai ultimate 100% jeene k liye
Being a recently married guy nearing his 40 and then being falsely accused by my wife (36) of DV and dowry cases after just 1 year of marriage, this video really clears a lot of doubts.
Exactly. New generation want to play T20. We don't have that much patience to tolerate torture for 20 yrs. These 20 yrs are sufficient to create huge bitterness for a marriage. These bitterness stays in old age also.
Lekin bohot se cases meh Wife bhi Husband ko Mentally itna T0rture kar deti hai, ke Aadmi Khudkhushi tak kar lete ha, ye bhi Duniya ki ek sachai ha, ap ish par bhi dhyana lagaye
I usually agree with you but not on this. My husband helps me more than I want…he can do all household work but still after 32 years of marriage, we both miss each other if one is away.
Jiska father paisa udate hain unka mummy control karna chahiye for better future of their family. Men jab kamata hai woh jyada future expenses nahi sochta yeh sachai hai.
Seriously, things we independent new generation used to wonder seeing things in society. Now I am 40 and getting a stamp on my wonders that my judgement was right seeing neighbours, relatives
OMG 😅could not control my laughter ..the way you explain ,but on a serious note ,what you said is true .But we all learn on the job ,as husbands ,wives ...and if you get the lesson its fine . Balance is a very important in evey thing ,especially in emotions. That takes care of your decisions ,relationships ..but again till the day we die we are still have a lot to learn.And bitterness should be out of your relationships, when you are 60 and above...just let it go. Do something and keep yourself busy.Happiness is a state of mind .no matter how young or old you are. This is my view .
play power dynamic game, as sir told in video.. Easy.. I bet you, if you handle all your Mil's problems now to 45-50 ki age me pura ghar, aapka husband aapki control me hoga.. Bilkul 12:40 - 13:25 aise
@@rahulmore4584 we are working n earning people who are not interested in doing this , some people are highly toxic ,they go to the extent of dividing sons family . Not easy
It's an ironical coincidence that I saw these same power dynamics in the movie "Rocky and Rani ki Prem kahani" and have actually seen this happening in my life as well, with my parents and now when I am married.
things we independent new generation used to wonder , seeing things in society. Now I am 40 and getting a stamp on my wonders that my judgement was right seeing neighbours, relatives
But in 90% cases, it was natural flow of family. If women were so sajishbaaj, why would she wait for 20 30 years of marriage until achieving 50 60 years of age. Age bachti he kitni hai uske baad.... Today's generation is spot on becoz they are earning....They want equal partnership. Earlier money was less and women were dependent on their husbands and their own family
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
@@blazingpheonix3925 same would have happened if men would have stayed with their in laws. Distance always provide more care and love. Daughters agar parents sath rehti to unke sath bhi khat pat hoti.... Mutual respect for each other's parents is the key for happy marriage.
This is mind blowing , such an observation on our society and the perceptions created so well articulated. It takes real guts to show a mirror to society !
What u said in the last minute was the star of this whole topic...deep thinking👍so true...we exaggerate past whether happy or sad....usually it is neither as life runs in the middle
Very well explained, the thing is nobody wins in this dynamic. Mothers sure teach their kids about their sacrifices, but the fact is it impacts those kids for the rest of their lives and next 2 generations as well. A system of failure of relationships where relationships are mere give n take and nothing more
To add on, one more reason Till the time father do the job, they remain adamant and never listen NO for an answer. All of sudden when they get retired and started facing resistance to their decisions, they get confused how to address it. Then they start taking help/ support from the mother and eventually statics changes.
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
Being a woman and also a feminist, this video doesn't provoke me at all. I know this thing used to happen. I have seen that happening in my family. And honestly, its just an after effect or consequence of what has been the home system set up based on patriarchy. Women werr dependent on men for money, and men were dependent on women for each and every daily housework. Ek time ke baad paisa mahila ko mil gaya, but daily housework ka kya hoga, wo kahan se permanently mil jayega? Truly analysed by sango sir, ye aadmiyon ke liye ultimately ghate ka sauda hi raha.
Spot on, Sirji. I joined such a family where the mother was an internal Shoorpankhi, but an external Sita Mata. My father-in-law was the first victim. I could never explain this to anyone. I split from the marriage after 25 years of this toxicity, which ran in her son's veins too. My children and I have moved on, but it takes lifetimes to end this inter-generational trauma.
Shaadi control karne ke liye nahi saath ek dusre ka Dene ke liye karo...nahi to single raho .chahe koi bhi Ghar chala Raha ho aur kitne bhi members family me ho...milke raho,enjoy karo.. control na karo..hamare liye Jo sahi hai vo kisi ke liye galat bhi ho sakta hai..
Seen similar dynamic in my uncle's family. Uncle acted as a sher but after retirement he became a billi. Now my masi has became a sherni in their relationship 😂😂😂
It is not as if the women of that generation were doing this so called pati ki seva as part of a grand scheme with the purpose of one day ruling the family.. They were expected and often bullied into a subservient position by the in laws, relatives and neighbours. After a time, it just became a sort of habit and, more often than not, a way of life to keep peace in the family. The brewing bitterness, of course, was never addressed by the man or his family so she vented her woes to her children who witnessed it firsthand. Nobody stopped the husband from becoming self dependent.. it just suited him fine to be the way he was. It's only when that bitterness is felt for the daughter in law that the older woman should introspect and refrain from becoming a part of the vicious cycle
This is happening at present as well because we are taught not to answer our inlaws. Agree that no one stopped men from being independent. Inlaws always play mental games to make their daughter in law servile.
Bohot zabardast baat hai, kyunki mummy ke nani house jaane par papa ki waat lag jaati thi. Arey ye kaha hai arey ye kaise hoga. Arey mera samaan saath mein le gayi kya kuch nahi mil raha yahi toh pada rehta tha. Acha aaj tiffin nahi aaya.
Thank u for sharing these things.. it’s really what I have experienced at my home and at my inlaws place😂.. aapne toh saari pol khol di.. keep sharing such things..
Sir, in my family, no one wish to sit and discuss. Can you please make a video how to talk in family N convince them that problems can be sort out via open talk?
You are a true gem Sir❤The average Indian will not appreciate you because they don't have the brains to understand your layers. The average Indian tends to either glorify or demonise anyone whether it's their mother father wife husband etc meri maa toh Devi thi.....yeh comment har baar main padhti hoon mujhe hassi aati hai....phir toh bharat mai 50 crore deviyaan honi chahiye ghoomte phirte..... Also they get very offended when you say the naked truth.... But there are people like us who accept and appreciate reality and therefore you !!!
Perfectly said sir... Gen Z mai patience nahi hai.... But sir sara patience sirf ladki se hi expected hai.... Jo ki ab girls ab nahi karngei accept... Rehna hai sath tho equality se hi rehna padega... N mother in law (mil)ko bichari uski beakar halt hai.... 😅expectations high rakhi (mil) ne... N woh bhi galat.... Ab baith kar ro rahi hi😂😂😂😂
Thiers ladies are not financially or in any other way dependent, so easy to leave, then the jealous middle class feel they are "behuda" "asanskari", deep down they know they are stuck and just bitter how can a women of 50 years get divorced and leave a happy peaceful life, without a drama. Sangro, behind the sansaka ka parda, middle class is actually, toxic, bitter, jealous and controlling. The amount of control exists in middle class is not in lower or upper classes. (that doesnt mean they dont have issues, thy do have, its just thier issues are diifrent.)
Sir ❤..... Please make a video on daughters raised by parents too pampered cos when they get married they see a different lifestyle..Few adjust and change and few break marriage and go back leading to broken marriages.
Sir please make next vid on new emerging family system of single mother or single father as guardian (divorced). I(22) and my brother(21) are friends to our mother. She does have male friends she talks on call too which doesn't bother us.Their friends(male) visit home too on occasions. But whenever the topic is about me (her daughter) coming home late or getting a call from a male friend, she gets all suspicious towards me when i aswer her politely she rolls her eyes over me.. which is not her reaction when my brother comes home late or gets a call from a female friend. But she keeps her this open minded mother attitude in front of the world, telling them that she's like a friend to her kids. She is independent. I love her a lot, we 3 do have a great bond but she doesn't realise few things. I'm a grown woman i can date but unfortunately i can't even though being a genZ because of this attitude of my guardian exclusively towards me. She's friendly to everyone else. These are causing cracks now in our relation.
She should equally keep a check on your brother also. These unchecked sons becomes rot of society. Here she is selfish. Only thinking about you and not of other girls that his son might be rotting.
Hi dear, you are right that she should behave equally with you as her sons. But don't worry. She might be just concerned. Oftentimes, children end up being in toxic relationships and she might just want to save you. She should do same thing with your brothers as well. They might be hurting a girl or might be on the path of getting hurt themselves. But her way of handling it looks conservative like you explained rolling her eyes down on you. You can talk to her about this openly. I am sure she will be okay to discuss as she has that friendly attitude in her towards her children.
What a Keen Observation Sir 😁 hats off to your practical knowledge. Best Videos ever I have watched on your channel. Thanks a lot 🙏 respect from heart.
Everyone sacrifices, your husband won’t live as long if he’s taking all the financial pressure. This is the problem with people who only feel bad for themselves and don’t appreciate the sacrifices their partner is making
The people who show the mirror will not have a huge audience and yes each person can get triggered. I have seen how it is very closely. The one who does the cleaning and if you speak the truth for bringing change. You are helping so thank you and keep going. Thank you for giving the next generations some credit. 🙏🙏🙏
That was earlier..Now we have Zomato, swiggy, restaurants, hotels, street food, curry points etc..Now, not much power in controlling the kitchen. The only power now is economic power. You can buy anything. Good that most women are now financially independent.
In my time , I am 74,women were not highly educated Those who were sadly to say were trampled upon It is happening even today. I gave tuition and saved every rupee to become independent. No asking for money It sets you free I even taught my husband to fend for himself I don’t boss my husband and don’t allow anyone to hold a whip over me The eldest bahu is tortured and not the Cha his if the sass is still around
@ushalundia2043 We were born at a time when a girl child was not welcomed. Yet we survived, so we must be happy and celebrate every day. My best wishes to you. Take care
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
Sir if people could think and live with the clarity you have put forth...and face the reality you have spoken about....our society would be a happier place. Like you said pyar bhi rahega🙏 Thank you for bringing put this series💗
Bhot sahi Bola.. well Said. My Mother In law cant digest that he works with me in kitchen. And I dnt know if she manipulated his son because my husband is like father in law.. he doesnt want to help in household chores. And His parents support him. Now I dnt expect from my husband bcz i know he wont do if i expect it will hurt me.
Ultimately like normal household, whwte u will gwt ur dominance after certain time. Be strong emotionally n be headstrong. Don't let urself be hurt easily. But, Please dont repeat the cycle.
I don't think one gets married to play power games. If love dominates in a marriage, acceptance and adjusment comes easy. Unfortunately, in a T20 match there is no time to for professional advice or mid course corrections. And this leads to a lot of mis communications wrong perceptions. Love and frank communications are a must for happy marriages.
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I am not using WhatsApp sir. Is there any option to connect with you. I want to join webinar.
Aadmi ke liye ek hii Solution hai ke, Man zyada se zyada Biwiya rakhe, kyuki Duniya musafir khana ha, or Zyada biwiya hogi toh kisi ek par dependency nahi hogi, toh Biwi apki achhe se seva kregi.
Or Biwi ka bhi Kaam kam hoga, Sath me mil kar ek bada parivar bnega, Khushal parivar bnega.
Sirf Aadmi ko Strong, Samajdar or Family-Loving hona chahiye, or kisi Biwi ke sath discrimination Nah krta ho.
"Shawshank Redemption" is the movie. A worth watching movie it was indeed.
Shawshank Redemption- the name of the movie.
I have bought premarital course of 777 can u pls assist me how can I use it m diverted to one app named as my institute and it is asking for some company code ??
I caught my wife watching this video. In her defence she shared the link to another video of yours "how men control their wives" 😂😂
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Pls also make a video on how a widowed mother controls her married son emotionally (passive aggressively) while living in adjoining houses
Not only widowed but also MIL taken everything in control. Least bothered about pro& cons .Pl advice how to survive .
Widow mothers gain sympathy from everyone, society and relatives.
Father's sacrifice is always underestimated.My dad only breadwinner,never enjoyed lavish lifestyle but gave us highest level of education,always would teach us after coming from office till 1 or 2 clock late night.That's why we became experts.When all the children started earnings the entire credit was taken by my mom.According to her,she sacrificed her life but what about my dad,he never ever went alone or with his friends to watch movie or to eat out.He always gave us more than what he could.I totally agree with you,Sir.These moms are manipulating and scheming, plotting to take the entire credit.
You are understanding this thing about your father. This is the reward of your farher's entire li9fe struggle.
Pls dont generalize things...
Aisa hua hoga aapke ghar mei, not everywhere.
All moms r not manipulative, not all dads r manipulative... changes from family to family
U never know what ur mother has gone through nobody is manipulative since inception. As children we shud try to understand both parents equally
Fathers never have time to create good impression as they were always busy in earning
money and taking care of children's fees college education, marriage expenditure etc. They were Never loved enough by own grown up kids. Only fortunate fathers get support - what they really deserve.
This is so true. Sadly my passed away last year, wish i had learned this earlier in my life. My mother also made him a villain in my life. Later I realised that was not the case.
CONTROL - We loose
CONTRIBUTE - We progress
COMMITMENT- We win 🏆
sahi!
Wah, right 👍
Controlling another human is the main reason behind toxicity
Women or Shudra ko control me hii rakhna chahiye.
.
Women(by Nature)
( Men bhi Woman ke Nature ke ho toh unhe bhi control krna chahiye)
.
Shudra( Not by surname, but by behaviour, Occupation & Quality)
@@DalitShiv_Nagwanshipagal ho kya
@@DalitShiv_Nagwanshiapni maa ko kiya karo
@@Pictureofmy_world meri Maa_ko mere Pita ji Love, control & protection meh rakhte hai Jii
@@amu808😂😂😂
Main point is that everyone needs an emotional support . Kisiko kaabu nahi karna hai , bass dhang se sorted life lead Karni hai bina kisiko ghulaam banaaye ya control kkiye.
Thanks to all those who liked my views.
Yes, we don't depend on each other and yet we want to be together, this is Love.
Bollywoodiya style !!
True, and that's an amazing marriage!!
My husband has been controlling me for last 9 years.
He decides to whom i should talk or not.
Even it's been 9 years i haven't visited my father's house, because of my kids i can't leave or divorce him.
I have to live like this my whole life
Get some counselling from a professional. Don’t talk to your friends, they will only listen and gossip. Speaking poorly about your husband in public will only reduce trust even further
I thought my husband is the only one who is doing this...but there are many out there...even worse
Now a days girls marry not for family or love, They marry only for financial stability... Women wants their rights without any responsibilities and duties and they termed responsibilities and duties as domestic abuse..... That is why marriage become liability for men....
I belive in - If possible do love marriage , otherwise dont marry... However if it is love marriage or Arranged marriage ready or know what to do and How to protect your asset if wife blackmail you, cheats you or want to divorce you....
Solution to all this problem is man should learn to do all the house hold chores and should learn to do nursing care for their own parents without expecting a out side women to do it for your parents.....why men is not capable of that?
Now a days women r working and taking responsibility, same like man also must do all domestic labour work with wife for a complete happy family
@@doremon9999nonsense
That's not solution.
Men should better themselves as man . Learning cooking and domestic chore is ok it's part of life. But domestic chore must be done by wife.
Only those who know women's psychology can understand the wisdom behind it.
@@brinjal1371😂😂😂
@@aastha466 😂😁
I'm 55 yrs old. Shaadi se 2 saal pehle se husband dusre city m job karte hue ghar akele manage karna seekh gaye the. Shaadi k pehle saal m muje bhi bahut support kiya but usi duration m unki mother k sachchai pata chali k dono beto ko bhed bhav se pala tha.husband bade bete the to unko sirf zimmedariyan ,yahan tak k padhne ka bhi time nahi deti thi aur chhote bhai ko padhai k alawa duniya m kya ho raha h ,isase kuchh matlab nahi hota tha. Apni maa k baad husband ki duniya m dusri aurat mere roop m aayi. Jab muje khud bhi unke parents k behaviour ka experience hua aur pehle ki baatein bhi pata chali tab subconsciously husband k liye care karne k bhavna aati gayi .Means patni k saath maa ka pyar bhi diya ,jo unki life m missing tha. Ab kya maine unko dependent jaanboojhker banaya taaki wo baad m mere gulaam ban jaaye.
You really loved your husband.. just be with her.. he needs your support for his further life.. maybe he had been exploited by his mother and brother.. I hope I also get a wife who treats me also as mother do..
@@abhaysoni926 thank u so much for yr such a heart touching feed back
dont worry!! you sure are a good wife...
If you are long life partner you're not only husband and wife but everything to each other, You can fill the void of their Parents, Teachers, Sibling even you can treat them as your child.
There is nothing wrong with it.
I also have some scars from my childhood due to family problems and I'll be happy if my wife is filling them (By choice) and even I am ready to fill hers.
@@abhaysoni926 You won't get if you be only Mama's boy.
You will get if you equally respect, love and stand by your wife. And, Love is not dialogue. Equal sharing by Actions is love.
Use bataoge, ki wo aurat hai, to use ye karna chahiye, to apne time pe wo tumhe batayegi ki tum admi ho tumhe, wo karna chahiye. It will go on.
@@Ninanani-4085 I'm not any mama's boy type..and currently I'm not married 😂.
As a man, choose your partner wisely, understand your parents' marriage deeply, support your own family over all others yet understand your role as the weighing scale in the house.
What you allow to perpetrate will become the precedence for all others - be warm yet firm in your dealings at home.
Lead your people in the right direction, lead by example.
You have said the best possible thing amongst all debate... appreciateing your valued comment after listening and reading all responses.
👍👍
My mother in law has done the same with her family. She has passed it on to her daughter. I heard my sister in law's daughters telling me " mom does everything in the house. If she is not there, even a hanky won't be in its correct place. There is no house without mom." I asked the children "who told u this?" They said "mom"
Video is very nice 👍👍. Things are so well explained. How much a woman has to do to make a safe place in her sasural ! This is a servival story of a bahu who wishes to make a secure ground for her . Please do keep on guiding and councelling us
Truly speechless with the level of knowledge and understanding and clarity. Hats off! Now looking back at our families, I can figure out all this..
The uniqueness of this channel is its very real and relatable. You should continue doing this. Please don't get into selling a book in the end like the whole creator market even if any content manager advises to..
yes It is a part of monetizing online content but now in the subconscious of the audience it has become like, Bhai ye bhi wahi creator jinko apni book bechna hai aur phir mehenge courses bechna hai.
Hold your unique content as a USP.
Thanks & All the best.
😊
Ya. Worst are the Medical Doctors on Ytube mostly American doctors selling their Books & their own brand pills & supplements
Your insights into this phenomena are indeed, phenomenal!!!
Such depth can't come just by hardwork or experience alone, a very subtle right mix of understanding and erudity is needed to pierce so deep into the depths of truth...
I seldom appreciate youtubers.. but you really are one of a kind... hats off to you sir
Akele hi jivan ka anand Lena hoga lag raha hai ladka ladki dono ko, itne sir k information sun k Aisa hi laga mujhe, paise kamane hai, Ghar k logo par adhikaar nahi jamana hai, na biwi se koi matlab rakhna hai na control hona hai bas thoda pyar Dena hai thoda saath dena hai , bass thoda thoda karke har chiz jina hai ultimate 100% jeene k liye
Being a recently married guy nearing his 40 and then being falsely accused by my wife (36) of DV and dowry cases after just 1 year of marriage, this video really clears a lot of doubts.
Divorce mat lo
Exactly. New generation want to play T20. We don't have that much patience to tolerate torture for 20 yrs. These 20 yrs are sufficient to create huge bitterness for a marriage. These bitterness stays in old age also.
Exactly, basically this uncle is saying that Woman should have Patience to Bear the T0rture of Husband & his in-Laws.
Lekin bohot se cases meh Wife bhi Husband ko Mentally itna T0rture kar deti hai, ke Aadmi Khudkhushi tak kar lete ha, ye bhi Duniya ki ek sachai ha, ap ish par bhi dhyana lagaye
Yes true
Hmmm.thats why old age in India is living hell ...they used others life hell as theirs.
@@priyankapattanaik5414toh abhi kon si young generation maze me hai 😂
I usually agree with you but not on this. My husband helps me more than I want…he can do all household work but still after 32 years of marriage, we both miss each other if one is away.
Yours is a ideal family. No need of any power dynamics balancing. You both are already balanced.
@@Ninanani-4085could be codependency too.
🧿
Excellent analysis , Amit ji.
I liked the phrase "moral corruption."
Truth is difficult to digest.
Jiska father paisa udate hain unka mummy control karna chahiye for better future of their family. Men jab kamata hai woh jyada future expenses nahi sochta yeh sachai hai.
This man deserves an award !! 🙌
Seriously, things we independent new generation used to wonder seeing things in society. Now I am 40 and getting a stamp on my wonders that my judgement was right seeing neighbours, relatives
OMG 😅could not control my laughter ..the way you explain ,but on a serious note ,what you said is true .But we all learn on the job ,as husbands ,wives ...and if you get the lesson its fine .
Balance is a very important in evey thing ,especially in emotions.
That takes care of your decisions ,relationships ..but again till the day we die we are still have a lot to learn.And bitterness should be out of your relationships, when you are 60 and above...just let it go.
Do something and keep yourself busy.Happiness is a state of mind .no matter how young or old you are.
This is my view .
Sir ji. You spill the beans. Gave me so much clarity. Victimhood mein bhi dominance
Dominance karenge to jhelenge bhi, victimhood se ho ya revolt aur ladai se. Behtar hai ki dominance karo hi mat.
Could you please make video on narcissistic MIL and unsupportive husband? We live in another city but still MIL is controlling husband.
I feel you . I have MIL and Sils . Toxic to the core who remote control their sons, brother. Son in law along with husband
@@anamikas227me too can feel it.
MIL created divorced.
play power dynamic game, as sir told in video.. Easy..
I bet you, if you handle all your Mil's problems now to 45-50 ki age me pura ghar, aapka husband aapki control me hoga..
Bilkul 12:40 - 13:25 aise
Think of her as ur mother for 3 months, n analyse her actions n u will get ur answer
@@rahulmore4584 we are working n earning people who are not interested in doing this , some people are highly toxic ,they go to the extent of dividing sons family . Not easy
Very intelligent ,educative and unbiased content on this channel. Wishing you lots of subscribers Sir.
It's an ironical coincidence that I saw these same power dynamics in the movie "Rocky and Rani ki Prem kahani" and have actually seen this happening in my life as well, with my parents and now when I am married.
This movie put a stamp on my understanding upon narcissistic personalities
things we independent new generation used to wonder , seeing things in society. Now I am 40 and getting a stamp on my wonders that my judgement was right seeing neighbours, relatives
But in 90% cases, it was natural flow of family. If women were so sajishbaaj, why would she wait for 20 30 years of marriage until achieving 50 60 years of age. Age bachti he kitni hai uske baad....
Today's generation is spot on becoz they are earning....They want equal partnership. Earlier money was less and women were dependent on their husbands and their own family
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati...
Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI....
MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
@@blazingpheonix3925 same would have happened if men would have stayed with their in laws. Distance always provide more care and love. Daughters agar parents sath rehti to unke sath bhi khat pat hoti....
Mutual respect for each other's parents is the key for happy marriage.
This is mind blowing , such an observation on our society and the perceptions created so well articulated. It takes real guts to show a mirror to society !
What u said in the last minute was the star of this whole topic...deep thinking👍so true...we exaggerate past whether happy or sad....usually it is neither as life runs in the middle
Thanks from Pune, Maharashtra Guruji🙏, your every topic 75-80% relatable for me, but this was 100% relatable.
Very well explained, the thing is nobody wins in this dynamic. Mothers sure teach their kids about their sacrifices, but the fact is it impacts those kids for the rest of their lives and next 2 generations as well. A system of failure of relationships where relationships are mere give n take and nothing more
To add on, one more reason
Till the time father do the job, they remain adamant and never listen NO for an answer. All of sudden when they get retired and started facing resistance to their decisions, they get confused how to address it. Then they start taking help/ support from the mother and eventually statics changes.
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati...
Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI....
MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
Pranam Guruji 🙏 , i can relate now what has / was happening in family life till date.. thank you for keeping it to the point and unfolding yhe secret
Being a woman and also a feminist, this video doesn't provoke me at all. I know this thing used to happen. I have seen that happening in my family. And honestly, its just an after effect or consequence of what has been the home system set up based on patriarchy. Women werr dependent on men for money, and men were dependent on women for each and every daily housework. Ek time ke baad paisa mahila ko mil gaya, but daily housework ka kya hoga, wo kahan se permanently mil jayega? Truly analysed by sango sir, ye aadmiyon ke liye ultimately ghate ka sauda hi raha.
Agar ham, Aadmi ki bhalai ke liye 4-Biwi rakhne ko kahe, taki Old age me ushe ek Mahila par depend nah hona, pade toh ap mujh par Gussa nikalege
if both are earning then they can hire maid.
Shadi mat karo bf gf hi rho
@@bapparawal2457 meine kab ka 4 wife ke liye ?
@nirupama ek time bad paisa mahila ko kaise Mil gya??? Property naam krne se kya hoga jabtk usko ye hi nhi pta ki use kaise hoga?
Spot on, Sirji. I joined such a family where the mother was an internal Shoorpankhi, but an external Sita Mata. My father-in-law was the first victim.
I could never explain this to anyone.
I split from the marriage after 25 years of this toxicity, which ran in her son's veins too.
My children and I have moved on, but it takes lifetimes to end this inter-generational trauma.
😂 I left them and now live with my kid my own.. But it took time to heal
You deserve a peaceful life ahead.
@@Bluesmiley05 thank you. We are healing, but it will take a lifetime
Economic dependence kept people together, even in dysfunctional families and the results affected children, which is extremely tragic.
जिसका बचपन ही घर की लड़ाइयां-झगड़े देख गुजरा हो "वाजिद"
अब वो डरा-सहमा सा रहता है तो जमाने को मलाल क्यूं है?
Your observation is absolutely right..gen z is smarter and much resolved.
Shaadi control karne ke liye nahi saath ek dusre ka Dene ke liye karo...nahi to single raho .chahe koi bhi Ghar chala Raha ho aur kitne bhi members family me ho...milke raho,enjoy karo.. control na karo..hamare liye Jo sahi hai vo kisi ke liye galat bhi ho sakta hai..
Seen similar dynamic in my uncle's family. Uncle acted as a sher but after retirement he became a billi. Now my masi has became a sherni in their relationship 😂😂😂
Very interesting content, nicely articulated as always❤
It is not as if the women of that generation were doing this so called pati ki seva as part of a grand scheme with the purpose of one day ruling the family.. They were expected and often bullied into a subservient position by the in laws, relatives and neighbours. After a time, it just became a sort of habit and, more often than not, a way of life to keep peace in the family. The brewing bitterness, of course, was never addressed by the man or his family so she vented her woes to her children who witnessed it firsthand. Nobody stopped the husband from becoming self dependent.. it just suited him fine to be the way he was. It's only when that bitterness is felt for the daughter in law that the older woman should introspect and refrain from becoming a part of the vicious cycle
This is happening at present as well because we are taught not to answer our inlaws. Agree that no one stopped men from being independent.
Inlaws always play mental games to make their daughter in law servile.
Bohot zabardast baat hai, kyunki mummy ke nani house jaane par papa ki waat lag jaati thi. Arey ye kaha hai arey ye kaise hoga. Arey mera samaan saath mein le gayi kya kuch nahi mil raha yahi toh pada rehta tha. Acha aaj tiffin nahi aaya.
कोई महिला किसी पुरूष को कन्ट्रोल नही करती
पुरूष तैयार ही बैठा है कन्ट्रोल होने के लिए 😂
Accurate😂story of every family❤on target guruji😊😊😊
Thank u for sharing these things.. it’s really what I have experienced at my home and at my inlaws place😂.. aapne toh saari pol khol di.. keep sharing such things..
Sir, in my family, no one wish to sit and discuss. Can you please make a video how to talk in family N convince them that problems can be sort out via open talk?
Shawshank Redemption -- Sir all your contents are practical and doable.
I was about to mention the movie name. 😂
Eye opener video🎉❤
You are a true gem Sir❤The average Indian will not appreciate you because they don't have the brains to understand your layers. The average Indian tends to either glorify or demonise anyone whether it's their mother father wife husband etc meri maa toh Devi thi.....yeh comment har baar main padhti hoon mujhe hassi aati hai....phir toh bharat mai 50 crore deviyaan honi chahiye ghoomte phirte..... Also they get very offended when you say the naked truth.... But there are people like us who accept and appreciate reality and therefore you !!!
Perfectly said sir... Gen Z mai patience nahi hai.... But sir sara patience sirf ladki se hi expected hai.... Jo ki ab girls ab nahi karngei accept... Rehna hai sath tho equality se hi rehna padega... N mother in law (mil)ko bichari uski beakar halt hai.... 😅expectations high rakhi (mil) ne... N woh bhi galat.... Ab baith kar ro rahi hi😂😂😂😂
Girls ke "acceptance" pe nahi chalegi dunia. FORCEFULLY ACCEPT KARWAYENGE. WARNA UPAR
@@blazingpheonix3925 u mean mother in law 🤣🤣🤣
@@blazingpheonix3925 nhi brother apni Ghar ki ladies ko upar mat bhejo
Please make a video on having one kid vs 2 or more kids under different scenarios like, single parent working, both parent working etc.
Please make videos on RICH CLASS too. An insight into their life and relations behind that show off will be Interesting!
Thiers ladies are not financially or in any other way dependent, so easy to leave, then the jealous middle class feel they are "behuda" "asanskari", deep down they know they are stuck and just bitter how can a women of 50 years get divorced and leave a happy peaceful life, without a drama. Sangro, behind the sansaka ka parda, middle class is actually, toxic, bitter, jealous and controlling. The amount of control exists in middle class is not in lower or upper classes. (that doesnt mean they dont have issues, thy do have, its just thier issues are diifrent.)
@@nehai4830 exactly
Ye wlaa video kaafi acha tha...deep analysis kiya hai aapne purane generation aur abhi ke generation ka 😊
Sir ❤..... Please make a video on daughters raised by parents too pampered cos when they get married they see a different lifestyle..Few adjust and change and few break marriage and go back leading to broken marriages.
This is good. Understanding life and power dynamics requires acceptance. Kudos
Guruji is a brilliant observer and know the dynamics too well
😂 सैल्यूट सर , जीवन में पहली बार एकदम सही बोलने वाले इंसान से मुलाकात हुई है
This is the most practical video i have ever seen on the dynamics of relationship. The same situation i have seen in my family as well.
Wow, great line, life is always in between 👍💯, Thanks
Sir please make next vid on new emerging family system of single mother or single father as guardian (divorced).
I(22) and my brother(21) are friends to our mother. She does have male friends she talks on call too which doesn't bother us.Their friends(male) visit home too on occasions. But whenever the topic is about me (her daughter) coming home late or getting a call from a male friend, she gets all suspicious towards me when i aswer her politely she rolls her eyes over me.. which is not her reaction when my brother comes home late or gets a call from a female friend. But she keeps her this open minded mother attitude in front of the world, telling them that she's like a friend to her kids. She is independent. I love her a lot, we 3 do have a great bond but she doesn't realise few things. I'm a grown woman i can date but unfortunately i can't even though being a genZ because of this attitude of my guardian exclusively towards me. She's friendly to everyone else. These are causing cracks now in our relation.
She should equally keep a check on your brother also. These unchecked sons becomes rot of society.
Here she is selfish. Only thinking about you and not of other girls that his son might be rotting.
Hi dear, you are right that she should behave equally with you as her sons. But don't worry. She might be just concerned. Oftentimes, children end up being in toxic relationships and she might just want to save you. She should do same thing with your brothers as well. They might be hurting a girl or might be on the path of getting hurt themselves.
But her way of handling it looks conservative like you explained rolling her eyes down on you. You can talk to her about this openly. I am sure she will be okay to discuss as she has that friendly attitude in her towards her children.
She's toxic and jealous of you ...she never got love and can't tolerate yours
Sir apne ek baat bahut sahi kahi ki "Aadmiyo ko toh pata hi nahi match kaise khelna hai"
Indian men r brought up in such way they become r dependent first mother then if continues after marriage ..
That is nonsense. Men want peace at home and are willing to compromise on the power dynamics for that.
As always, eye opening and profound. Thank you, sir.
So so so accurate!! Uncle ji you rocked👏
💯 True Each word. Worth listening always
What a Keen Observation Sir 😁 hats off to your practical knowledge. Best Videos ever I have watched on your channel. Thanks a lot 🙏 respect from heart.
Sir, best video till date, this wisdom is priceless . Thanks for considering us worthy of this gyaan. Thanks
What about women who willingly sacrificed their careers for husbands and family .
Sacrificing your job/ career and foregoing your financial independence is seriously a bad idea in this day and age.
@@Devi-pg4rj I meant the women who are now in their sixties , who already did that because that was the norm of those times
@@amitashyam2446 it is the responsibility of their husbands and kids to look after them. :)
Everyone sacrifices, your husband won’t live as long if he’s taking all the financial pressure. This is the problem with people who only feel bad for themselves and don’t appreciate the sacrifices their partner is making
Very well said 👌
The people who show the mirror will not have a huge audience and yes each person can get triggered. I have seen how it is very closely. The one who does the cleaning and if you speak the truth for bringing change. You are helping so thank you and keep going. Thank you for giving the next generations some credit. 🙏🙏🙏
धन्यवाद सर आप बहुत ही अच्छी एक नंबर की बात बता रहे हो
Heard this somewhere, but I feel this is true 'A woman who controls the kitchen, controls the house!'
Obviously khane me zeher bhi to mila sakti hai wo😂😂😂
That was earlier..Now we have Zomato, swiggy, restaurants, hotels, street food, curry points etc..Now, not much power in controlling the kitchen. The only power now is economic power. You can buy anything. Good that most women are now financially independent.
@@nirupamasharma4389😂😂 phir Jail ki Chakki bhi to peesegi
@@Devi-pg4rjMOST WOMEN AREN'T 🎉
Maybe some homes.
Movie name is Shawshank redemption
whatever you said 100 percent truth
This video was very interesting
Sometimes we go through what we go through to help others Not to go through what we Went through. Thank you guruji 🙏
In my time , I am 74,women were not highly educated Those who were sadly to say were trampled upon It is happening even today. I gave tuition and saved every rupee to become independent. No asking for money It sets you free I even taught my husband to fend for himself I don’t boss my husband and don’t allow anyone to hold a whip over me The eldest bahu is tortured and not the Cha his if the sass is still around
@ushalundia2043 We were born at a time when a girl child was not welcomed. Yet we survived, so we must be happy and celebrate every day. My best wishes to you. Take care
Sir, I salute you. Psychologically you are correct.
Mother also use the argument ki maine Bahut saha hai... Ab or nhi sahungi. Ab jawab dungi...etc. they use this argument to control the home
ABSOLUTELY ❤
It's a manipulation tactic.
Call "GASLIGHTING".
@@blazingpheonix3925 treuee
Really you are absolutely right.
13:00 shivgaami aur lule hath wale pita ji 😂😂😂😂
Bilkul sahi bola aapne...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I too had observed this power dynamics thing closely. And had come to the conclusion😊.
I am writing a journal and it has helped me to be stress free in the time of crisis
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati...
Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI....
MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
I agree with everything you are saying 👍
Wowwwww sir🙏
Brutal reality playing out. So so true. Applauds 👏👏👏👏👏
Sir if people could think and live with the clarity you have put forth...and face the reality you have spoken about....our society would be a happier place. Like you said pyar bhi rahega🙏 Thank you for bringing put this series💗
amazing video Sir
Perfect description.😊
Bhot sahi Bola.. well Said.
My Mother In law cant digest that he works with me in kitchen. And I dnt know if she manipulated his son because my husband is like father in law.. he doesnt want to help in household chores. And His parents support him.
Now I dnt expect from my husband bcz i know he wont do if i expect it will hurt me.
Ultimately like normal household, whwte u will gwt ur dominance after certain time.
Be strong emotionally n be headstrong. Don't let urself be hurt easily.
But, Please dont repeat the cycle.
@@Ninanani-4085 correct. I agree with You
Aapka content bahut he gazab ka hota hai sir ji. I can always co-relate.
12:08 Movie - Shawshank redemption
Hatts off to you sir. Wonderful content
In any relationship apna kaam khud karna sikho..for small stuff don't be dependent on others..
But woh bhi female ko tolerate nahi hota..ki adami ikdum hi independent hoke jee Raha hai..aapna aapna kaam khood kar leta hai...
@@Vijay55234tum karo to, ho jayega tolerate
@@Vijay55234 housewife s tolerate nhi hota kuki fir uski koi value hi nhi hogi ...working women appreciate krti h aiso ko
@@ninii394Han ye to sahi hai
@@ensign62 y cheeze shadi s pehle hi clear krleni chahiye
Sir the way you guide ,even parents are not guiding their children likewise 🙏
Last mein aapne sahi kaha....sahi pyaar aajkal hi hai jan ek doosre ki economic slavery nahi hai :)
Aapke videos dekhne me bohot mazaa ataa hai sir. Best baat ye hai ki aap bilkul unbiased hain.
I don't think one gets married to play power games. If love dominates in a marriage, acceptance and adjusment comes easy. Unfortunately, in a T20 match there is no time to for professional advice or mid course corrections. And this leads to a lot of mis communications wrong perceptions.
Love and frank communications are a must for happy marriages.
Legendary Content. I am glad I found your channel