How To Stop Being Petty
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Fr. Mark-Mary offers three ways to help us stop being petty:
1. Make a firm resolve to not be a petty person.
2. Pray the serenity prayer. Do what you can, accept what you can’t.
3. Put things into perspective. Remember Christ’s passion.
He warns us that pettiness is like a seed that grows in us. Everyday habits of the ones we love can begin to negatively affect our relationship with them if we allow that seed to grow.
This may seem like a petty matter itself, but if we become too petty of a person we may become a heartbreaker. When you feel yourself getting petty over something, practice these three habits that Fr. Mark-Mary mentions to avoid this plague, and grow holier in the process.
As Fr. Mark-Mary always says, “We are pilgrims. Little by little, we will get there.” But the waiting is the hardest part.
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When you worship God, get ready because it's going to be a bumpy ride, just to let y'all know it's not always going to be peaches, and roses.
Does life get any easier or harder if you don't believe in a god?
@@rjskeptic5273 In my experience, the Devil cares less about passive non-combatants.
The phrase is peaches and cream.
@@rjskeptic5273 doubt it because Satan would work harder and tempt you more to mislead you and turn you against God
I need a bracelet that says "Don't be Petty!" to remind me to let it go.
Please would someone say 1 "Hail Mary" for my sister her name is Tracy. She's going through a difficult time with life and her health. Please, I'm asking for your intercession brother/sister I'm completely helpless and at God's Mercy
Every day I try to pray the Stations for the Poor Souls and ask them to also intercede for my intentions. Your request is now one of those intentions.
🙏
I am at the local parish and will begin praying the Stations for the Poor Souls soon. I will include your sister in my intentions. I have received much with the intercession of the Poor Souls. I pray that your sister gains from their intercession also...
Jude As3 , I will add her to my Rosary intentions. Prayers up!💕
Jude As3 I’m so sorry. I will. I UNDERSTAND. My ex husband has cancer: He’s clear for the moment, but he/we are poised to have it return, since he was told that it has a 70 percent chance of returning. I’m all twisted up over it.
Oh if only our society could think this way. We live in a world that loves to complain and focus on what others are doing to us to make us suffer, rather than uniting our suffering with Christ or focusing on others rather than ourselves!
I remember reading in St Therese's book- she would get irritated with a nun behind her rattling her Rosary beads. Instead of turning around to show her how this bothered her, she would offer the sound up as nice music for Jesus. This helped me as I can get irritated easily. Thanks for the video!
I honestly believe St. Therese was on the autism spectrum. The more I read about her, the more I see undiagnosed ASD. Probably why I can relate to her so much.
As a nurse, pettiness and gossip are RAMPANT in the profession. This was a welcome reminder
Especially with Teachers!
Teagan Bowie. Thank you for serving others.
I agree with your statement.
I notice this too at the hospital where I work - I like to use humor to break tension
Bp Barron would say “...we’re all in the same boat and we’re all seasick...”
Absolutely true! It was horrible, glad I'm retired.
A wise man once told me,
"Don't sweat the petty stuff,
And don't pet the sweaty stuff"
Whoa! How does Ascension Presents do this? Always the right video at the needed time. God bless Fr. Mark-Mary.
"When the devil instills into your mind mean and petty
thoughts, turn your memory to the benefits God has shown you in times past." St. Ignatius of Loyola
I definitely struggle with this 😓
Same😭😭😭😭
Right when I needed it ,wow
Perfect timing for me. I just had a situation that was very petty and I let it ruin the rest of my day. Your advice was spot on and I will apply it in the future. Also, I am like you and can become fixated on sounds. At least you mentioned it to the person, I usually lack the courage to do so and it just festers! I really get such useful advice from your videos.
You just mention it, the worst they can do is yell at you which only makes them worst.
misophonia- when a sound “drives you crazy", reactions can range from anger and annoyance to panic and the need to flee.
Thank you father for sharing your wisdom ! 👊🏻❤️
There was this kid at my high school who always wore this tinker bell necklace, we always rode the same bus to high school and back, same bus stops and everything. He drove me crazy!!
Funny thing is that one day I talked to him about his necklace and 7 years later we still talk, he's a really nice guy.
Lol. I work with a Disneyland obsessed woman who is not known for being very kind (read between the lines lol). Something about the innocence of Disney was this contrast to her being hurtful towards nice ppl. Same thing for me. Saw yesterday she just bought a mini mouse purse and I managed to not rip off the giant mouse ears and bow on it. Success! Lolz. Hang in there!
MAJOR CALL OUT. hahaha no but honestly I love this video. Thank you thank you. It is something I have been struggling with!! Pls pray for me!
Every day I try to pray the Stations for the Poor Souls and ask them to also intercede for my intentions. Your request is now one of those intentions.
Gum poppers. Oh how they drive me crazy! I'm working on it!
i just laugh seeing these comments because i'm living the same thing! same spiritual attacks, wow, God bless you Father!
I am petty when I am unhappy. Trying to be joyful everyday helps me not be mean spirited and petty.
Fr Mark if he plays maracas you should grab the tambourine and call it even right here in the NW whether change very easy in during the years I heard a lot of people always complainting about it What is the point the weather is not going to change because of me bendiciones somos seres humanos imperfectos llamados a la perfeccion atravez de Jesucristo Amen
If your senses are hyper focused on small sounds or bright lights , your vagus nerve , the 10th cranial nerve might be mal functioning , a common problem we have in this age. The nervous system is on high alert for danger , detecting noises of lower frequencies due to the shape of the ear canal . Check out dr stephen porges and the polyvagal theory. His work has helped those with autism , the symptoms all modern people experience.
This video is awesome. My husbands boss is a petty narcissistic man. After watching this video, my husband felt better.
Great video. Thank you and I shared! ❤️
The serenity prayer is the best
What a good, insightful and motivational talk. Thank you very much, Fr Mark-Mary! The casual but genuine way you presented it made it even more relatable.
Last night a family member said something that really riled me up, i was still thinking of it hours later when i was getting ready for bed. I literally complained to the Lord saying why does something so minor get under my skin Lord? And i cant stop thinking about? This message came at the perfect time. Thank you Fr and thank God for this video! His timing is perfect
Having gone right to shouting at a person playing a game with volume up in a waiting room I obviously need to work on this. I didn't even realize that I was being petty. I wanted the guy to recognize that it's a good idea to mute the game when in public. But I didn't say that, I just shouted for him to turn it down & he did & I felt like a bad person for shouting at him because I don't know his deal & I could have really upset him or others. I was definitely being aggressive which can insight more aggression, but in that moment I was ready to take it to the mat. Pray for me.
Can you please do a video about choosing joy always? I let my joy be robbed from me everyday, and it feels hopeless to get it back or to be joyful sometimes
"a little bit of annoyance isn't gonna rock my world"
Thanks for posting, I needed this today. I learned a lot. Best wishes from Dublin, Ireland
This is crazy argh you got me Father like 110%
This is a great video, I shared it! I really enjoyed your advice, thank you!!
Am I petty! OHHHHH, YEAH!! 😏😔
Not sure where I picked up this useful tip, to use for distractions or something annoying me about someone, but the short prayer 'Lord, Have mercy on me and bless them' said 3 times, helps me refocus my mind from the distraction and by the end of saying it just makes me pleased that it has been an opportunity to bless the person, and the annoyance has passed. Works most times for me anyway. That's not to say I am without pettiness is other areas of my life, so is good to hear this talk and others comments. God bless
Thank you ,thank you Wow!!! I needed to hear this . Just got off from work and was dealing with this. Thank you so much. God bless you.
What I struggle with is dividing the line between being petty and what is right, fair, and just.
Hello, Father - thank you for this message; it was such a good one for me.
I'm leaving a comment in case this is helpful to anyone else. I am a "type A" personality and have functioning OCD - meaning I am the queen of pettiness. And while I can try to ignore things you described like the brother with the ice in his cup, it's often impossible.
I prayed for help with this and the Holy Spirit gave me some good guidance - but not in the way I expected. Each time I would get bothered by something, I was to stop and pray for that person. It was almost as if the nuisance were a bell saying, "Hey, I need prayer. Pray for me." And so I do, even if they are complete strangers and I don't know where to begin. The Holy Spirit knows what they need; He can fill in the blanks.
The crazy thing is how often the annoyance that first got my attention will stop, once I've started praying for that person. It doesn't always happen, of course, but it is pretty uncanny how often it does...
this helped me a lot, thank you
Mark-Mary, I find it very helpful and inspiring how you bring psychological and theological topics together.
Do you think a person with a diagnosed mental illness can be cured without faith in god? I am a catholic psychological therapist and a lot of my patients are non-beliefers.
If God wills it, who can oppose him?
cured, yes. healed, no.
Such a great video!! Thank you Father 🙏🏽
I’m Private Petty not Social Media petty. Either way it’s not good! 🤦🏽♀️
Great video!! God bless you
I'm petty with myself. I suffer a lot because of it...
I'm curious ... how does that work?😶
This was my first week working as a cashier by myself this woman got upset because I said ma’ ma I can scan it with my scanner. Her husband walks up and grab the soda cans & she said she can pick it up since she didn't want to I Said I can it's not a problem. I smiled and said ma’ma why are you so mad and she said why are you so petty cause she was mean mugging me. She got upset again cause when I was ringing up her groceries I couldn't sell her medicine for some odd reason and when I told her she said your not showing me nothing your just talking her husband was standing off to the side looking at the screen and I said ma’ ma I can't sale you this she tried to call one of the associates but they walk off. And my coworker told me to go on 15 minutes break and she said you need it and I said all because you couldn't have it your way by me picking up the soda cans.
Ice maracas! 🤣🤣🤣 Never heard it put more articulately!!! Sometimes that inability to select which sound to focus on when there are more than one is a symptom of a head injury. I hope that's not the case for you, Father!
In regards to the noise sensitivity you may have some auditory sensory issues. That's the fancy label for it.
I have problems with it. Sounds can totally over stimulate me. I am a musician so my training and my artistic sensitivity are part of the reason for that. I think one of the effects of the fall is that our gifts often come with a corresponding struggle. That struggle is a weakness that Satan likes to focus on in his efforts to get us to sin.
. Auditory sensory issues aren't limited to musicians, though. It's a brain wiring thing that makes a person extra aware of sound. In the right context that is a gift. It's really auditory discernment.
Fr. You reminded me of what Fr. Ripperger says in his talk on how to raise a man. He says that man in general in society have become afeminate which Fr. Ripperger says it means to be attached to pleasure and everything else that is bad extends from that.
Thank you for sharing this video. how would you deal with let say your a client and your coach you both had misunderstanding on time to meet. and when the session begun it was 15minutes later but it ended short of an hour. I had thought it would be extended but or some reason the coach did not see it that way and said we would presume for another hour on another date. Should i go ahead and ask if we can make it for 1 hour and 15min or let it go. Since ive paid for the full session. How would you deal with that? thanks
It is a great idea to offer up these annoying thing's, no one is perfect, yet it is probably more respectful not to crunch chip's or rattle ice during class !!
Wow, Fr. Mark-Mary, thank you for helping me realize this sin of pettiness in me. God bless you always!!!
Is being super irritated/annoyed at a family member because they keep tearing their spouse down in front of family and their children being petty?
No that's a toxic person that has taken pettiness to the ultimate extreme!! Someone has to say something at that point b/c it becomes impossible & can literally break up families.....
Yes - helpful and practical (as always) God Bless!
Thank you! I can be very petty sometimes. Especially towards my family members. Also, a great reminder to be patient with those we meet as we go back to school this week.
God Bless! ❤️❤️
Wow, that was wonderful! It is so easy to become petty. Especially with those who are closed to us. It's only when we realize how much we really love them that we understand how unimportant our personal annoyances are and how vain and trivial they seem upon examination.
Wow.... I struggle with neighbors dogs that bark. Coworkers who type loud.
Thank you for this Father, guilty as charged, especially when having petty arguments online with Protestants.
Wow, thank you. I needed to hear this. Some very good advice there.
Thank you for the video. It was something I needed to hear and the way you said it was very kind. It made me feel at peace, so again, thank you.
Wish I saw this video sooner before I ruined another close friendship.
Awesome! Super helpful reminder!!
Oh, Father Mark-Mary! Today's video was spot on for all of us who watched it, I suspect. Who isn't petty in their thoughts and words? I love you telling us that we have to change ourselves and our attitudes. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, and have a great weekend!
That was very helpful. Thank you and may God Bless you
Father Mike Mary, Thank you for who you are and harnassing your calling. Thank you for being one of us.
Oh yes, it’s so human and it’s expectations. It’s like praying before mass and ppl come in talking and making noise. ( I do too at times) . Funny thing tho it’s really thinking everyone operates and thinks like we do. It’s self centeredness and control. It’s an ongoing lesson to remain humble and make room for everything. Taking offense is easy but forgiveness that’s another thing!🙏🏽
Thanks for this video Father! You always seem to have the right message!
Needed this! Thank you 🙏🏻
God bless you Fr. Mark! ✝️👍👍🙏😇
sums up what I feel this past few weeks and it really got me yesterday when I work on my computer while listening to the music lol. Didn't know that I was being tempted. Anw, I hope you're having a great day and God bless :D
Thank you for all of these very relavant topics! 💖🙏
Father, you have no idea how timely this video is! God knows what we need precisely when we need it.
I was just thinking about how petty i am
Amen. I needed this message.
Learn to change? That is EASY to say! I'm not speaking of the "difficult climb" or the "effort". Oh, no. I'm referring to the movement from 'ignorance" to "knowing." Once you know what to do, it then becomes TREMENDOUSLY easier to take effective action then before you even knew what even had to be done.
St Therese of Liseux had this experience in periods of Mental prayer with a Sister in Choir jingling her rosary beads 🙄 thanks Brother
This is a constant struggle! CONSTANT! Why does it get to me so much?
Every day I try to pray the Stations for the Poor Souls and ask them to also intercede for my intentions. Your struggle is now one of those intentions.
Monica Mohan thank you!
Awesome Video Fr. Mark Mary!!!
I’ll be thinking this over, Fr. Mark Mary. It does afflict us all.
You see this in every documentary where men and woman join together to go on expedition. They get on each other’s nerves and it builds to a confrontation. This is always a narrative thread. Always.
My petty moment surfaced at Church, two or three times, when the person next to me or behind me failed to take my hand. I was left extending it and empty handed. I obsessed! Life is too short to be so petty.
Thanks for this reminder.
Thank you, Fr. Mark Mary. I struggle with this to my great shame. Thanks for practical advice.
Thanks father for this and for reminding us about the serenity prayer💗 God bless.
Fr. Mark-Mary, your message came through loud and clear, as usual. I appreciate the honesty. I have learned so much from your videos, and re-watch many of them. The manner in which you deliver the message is down-to-earth, real, as a friend, and not someone holding himself above others. I thank God you answered your calling. God bless you!
So what about a brother who goes out of his way to find something that annoys you and does it over and over while literally saying, "I only do this to annoy you"?
Thts him being petty, he chose tht. What will you choose? Grow stronger by it or give in? But I do agree it's really really difficult, when someone is doing it on purpose.
Good job father thank you
Wonderrful, I didn't realize this until now, thanks a lot
Absolutely! Christ’s Passion helps me put everything in perspective, reveals God’s love for me and reveals my sins . Thanks and God bless you Father in your ministry in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour!🙏🏻
Really needed this now
There are so many ways to address pettiness. For one a person can change a system to eliminate the problem. It may not change the person to make them more considerate but it will eliminate the effect on you. One example is a closet that people kept leaving disorganized. I changed the organization of the closet and now it stays organized. Certain bins got moved all around the closet so I made a very specific place for them where no one would ever move them and it worked. Another way to deal with pettiness is that every time there is a dish or trash left around the house, find something you left out or focus on a fault you have. You might be surprised to realize you had been totally blind to your own mess while focusing and getting annoyed at theirs. A third way to deal with pettiness is to imagine you are paralyzed and that you can't do anything for yourself. Feel bad for people who do not realize how lucky they are to be able to clean up after themselves or whatever they are not doing that annoys you. Also, think to yourself, "I am lucky that I can just easily clean up their mess and get it done because if I were paralyzed I'd just have to live with the mess." A person could also think of something in their past they need to make up for -- maybe they didn't do their chores as a kid. They can do something that's "not their job" to make up for it. Might save some purgatory time too :D. Also, a person can just reduce a lot of the stuff in their life and be more minimal because a lot of pettiness has some "thing" involved. Sometimes there's a fight over something you consider junk later and get rid of. Also, give people the benefit of a doubt. If a person insists you owe them $15 and you are sure you paid them and they are sure you didn't, it might be worth just giving them another $15 to save the friendship if there is no way to verify if the amount was paid.
I love this 😌💕
"I imagine you struggle with it." Oh yeah.
I offer the annoyances for poor sinners. About 2 years ago, I found myself overreacting to a small situation with my daughter. Halfway down to hall from her room afterwards, I believe the Lord said, "Is that really that important?" Since then, I have come to understand that 99 percent of what we fuss about doesn't matter...
Amen 🙏
I was trying to find a song to play so my niece could hear it and eventually share it with my sister. 😂 But I came across your video and dude, you explained it right how I was going to send them both a text message and tell them I AM NOT GOING TO PUT MY SELF AT THEIR LEVEL OF PETTINESS. 😂😂😂😂🤪🤪🤪
They are so petty and turn the smallest sh** into this big a** controversial and dramatic issue like its gonna be the end of their life🤣🤣🤣🤣
They definitely need Jesus in their life... When I'm nearby or around them, they walk away all mad and sh**, slamming doors like its gonna hurt me🤣🤣🤣
They gonna end damaging the door and eventually end up spending unnecessary money for their pettiness.
One thing i say about people with this type of behavior against another individual cuz their mad, hate them or whatever negative feeling they have is they don't understand how this individual has so much control over them.
Don't allow anyone to control your emotions. Im sitting here, laughing, happy while they are growing bitter for something SO SO freaking PETTY🤣🤣🤣😜😜😜🤪🤪🤪
I was in religious life for almost ten years. It really helped to form me well in this area!!! Community is HARD!!! Now I’m married to a wonderful and holy man, but his mother and sister are soooo petty!! Any small thing I do that they don’t understand with my children- etc- I get the drama backlash. They gossip about me and then tell my husband how “pissed” they were (I hate that word!!). Anyway...mother-in-law’s are hard- I just say nothing and move on in peace. I TOTALLY WANT TO SEND HER THIS!!! 😝🤣😂Thanks- this is keeping me focused!!
5:05 ADD probably. But it's ok. It's a relict from anchient times, when every creak could have been a predator. God made this to protect you. ☆
I needed this.
I have a friend who is giving me the cold shoulder now because she took offense at me kidding around about something trivial. She didn't like a word I used to refer to something 🙄
Father Mark-Mary, can you share the name of that book you mentioned about the Carthusian Monks? When I was traveling a couple years ago, a priest mentioned what I think was the same book in his homily but I couldn't remember the name of it. I would love to see if I can find it at our local or parish library.
Sometimes when it is sounds that take you over the edge, it could be misophonia- a real medical issue. I developed it after I was chemically injured. It’s related to the brain/nervous system when they’ve been “assaulted” by too many chemical exposures- it’s real and it’s not fun. So, if I’m in a room and someone is making a certain sound, I literally go into an aggressive mode because it just “rubbed my brain” the wrong way, in layman’s terms. Everyone understands I have it and always do their best to avoid noise around me. It’s not petty, it’s just my “broken brain.” :-(
As usual , it's we Christians who are called to ignore (forgive) all the annoying and counterproductive elements of our work colleagues.
And I bet their looking for new ways to be ' petty ' everyday !
Wise words Father Hoodie , not so easy to implement, but at least I'll try .
Man o man
That was perfectly timed, brilliant, so needed. Thank you.
Thank you ,oh goodness I so needed to hear this and was being petty myself with my sister and all...about making a big deal out of what she had confronted me with which I felt she was being petty about. Hahahaha oh how tables turn. I need to look at myself and not outward.