YOU ARE NOT ALONE * living with depression
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
- Reminders: You are not alone. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to take medicine. It is NOT your fault. No one has it all together. You are wanted.
If you, or someone you know, needs help (resources may vary from country to country):
www.nimh.nih.g...
www.mentalheal...
www.mentalheal...
MAIN CHANNEL: / @awkwardashleigh
📨 PO Box 3303 Knoxville, TN 37927
🎥 / awkwardashleigh
👕 teespring.com/...
✨Let's be Friends!✨
/ awkwardashleigh
/ awkwardashleigh
/ awk_ashleigh
Hi Ashleigh :) I don’t usually comment. I have stage IV cancer, and my prognosis is that probably have a year or so remaining. Just wanted to let you know that your videos provide joy in my life, and I’m glad that you’re sharing your journey with me in my remaining days. Sending hugs. Godspeed (btw, my favorite movie of all time is Joe Versus the Volcano with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan)
Hope you beat the odds man.
Thanks for the selfless act of exposing your diagnosis to us. I too hope you beat the odds.
Sorry to hear of your condition. I lost my Mom to cancer nearly 6 years ago now. I always focus on how hard her death was for me and the family, but honestly, ...living with that knowledge must be so hard, too. She planned her own funeral & wrote her own obituary so that her wife wouldn't have to, and neither would my sister or myself.
And just the fact that you're STILL, only referencing it in order to highlight what Ashley's videos have meant to you - and all of that, to make Ashley feel better...Just. Wow. What a kind gesture. There are many people who find it hard to refrain from making everything about them - and you didn't do that. For what it's worth - you're pretty amazing, too!
You are an amazing person. The world would be a far better place if we had more people like yourself.
Keep fighting Ronaldo, so many prognosis can solely depend on the individual, you obviously have the strength to continue, much respect 🙏
"Existing is exhausting." That's so true sometimes. I appreciate you speaking out on this.
i wish i had a dollar for every time the words " i hate existing" have gone through my mind. then i would be a very rich depressed person.
You are extremely brave and strong
.... ❤️
OMG, Mary Cherry, truly does have content that Varies!!!
What the f... is this?? YOU!!.. HERE?!!
If there's a person who doesn't deserve to suffer from depression it is you Mary... It turns out that this young beautiful and charming woman that I recently follow on RUclips and Twitch, to kinda soften my own depression, also deals with it. Knowing how this s*** feels INSIDE and having watched her videos (especially when she laughs with something funny) really puts me down. I wish she also laughed underneath
Lovin' it when favorite reactors come root for each other.
@@salvadorjimenez2872 Not to be inappropriately glib about a serious topic, but this has the feel of the beginning of a wonderful Justice League kinda deal. Like Supes and Bats coming together to destroy the cancer that is the stupid stigma against mental-health concerns in the modern age.
Change your handle to Awesome Ashleigh - and thank you so much for this wonderful brave video! I am 66 years old, and have suffered most of my adult life with "funky brain chemistry". Almost took that "big sleep" once as well, but I am still here and still kicking - doing pretty darn well considering how stressful life can get. Everything gets better with practice - even handling depression. Good med management, finding the life hacks that work for you, staying spiritual - whatever works. You go, girl!
Whenever I see someone dismiss another person's experience with depression, I just think "well, you got lucky". Anyone who has experienced depression knows exactly what this feels like.
Struggling with depression and anxiety for 6 years and ADHD my whole life. You are not alone either, Ashleigh ❤️
We are proud of you!
same, didnt know how deep my depression was back in 2003!my ocd was in overdrive and couldnt take my face of tv series just to get distracted and plucked my eyebrows to smitherines! I miss the akarin pills though, new ones makes me grind my teeth in sleep, so I wake up with tension headaches some times!!
Go on a carnivore diet, it will cure you.
It seems that a good many of us with ADD/ADHD also have depression.
I have depression, but my true nemesis is anxiety. I struggle with anxiety so much, but I'm working on it. You're not alone, Ashleigh!
They do love to tag-team, don't they? Anxiety wears you down, then depression moves in. Such has been my experience of those dickheads, anyway.
i feel this, and as the other comment mentioned, they go hand in hand, depression spike then anxiety spike then back again. its a tough roolercoater. pray for strength to get through. you are loved, even if you dont know who it is that loves you.
Hey man i dont know you but thats a great message man👍
in a cruel twist of fate, i developed anxiety issues mid-life. when i was young, i was a Fire Fighter, then a Soldier in the US ARMY, i wasn't afraid of anything. i could charge a machine gun nest, i could handle explosives, i could run into a burning building to search for survivors...Now i get panic attacks two blocks from work. wtf? i fear the DMV more than the idea of taking on the Russian army. i cannot understand this.
Don’t listen to the people who don’t understand it. We understand it. The wave with sledgehammers in it. One day at a time. Get some lavender and take a relaxing bath. Don’t drink, you’ll just spiral. Play some music and pick one spot, not a room, just one area of one room to clean. Don’t wallow in the pain. Tell the shadow in your mind to f*ck off, stand in front of a mirror and see all the things you love about yourself. I’ll start with your hair. It’s fabulous! Hugs 🤗🥰
You are so amazing, worrying about helping others while fighting your own battles. People who say millennials aren’t strong are wrong, this world we live in is freaking scary and I’m old! I would not want to be young at this time. I really appreciate you sharing, there was a time in my life when I could have used these very words. My depression was related to outside events, or at least I thought it was at the time. Somehow I survived and was just really lucky that it wasn’t a more severe chemical imbalance. I still get random intrusive thoughts and I cannot imagine if it was worse. Maybe if I’d had any idea it was fixable, life could have been a whole lot easier. You are going to make life better for so many people, thank you. I wish I could help you in some way. Keep fighting please, you are so important to this world!💚 You are loved and you are enough, and I’m proud to be on the Hot Mess Express with you.💚💚💚💚💚💚
I'm so glad you fought through and are still here kicking ass. 💚💚💚
@@awkwardashleigh2 Oh yeah, I'm not going anywhere. Besides, I still have way too many of your upcoming MCU reactions to watch yet, plus the MBU too (Mel Brooks Universe, lol). I'm getting antsy though, can't wait for you to see the rest of the films that have been released thus far.
@@awkwardashleigh2 at a job interview I was asked what my greatest achievement in life is. My answer was "I'm still here." It's hard to battle through.
❤💜❤️
@@awkwardashleigh2 have you considered zoloft?
It does not make you a zombie.
Allows you to feel sad still...it just doesn't let the darkness come.
( you know what I mean, what you're going through)
It saved my life literally.
Real depression...like what u have
Is a chemical imbalance.
Needs treatment sometimes
Nothing wrong with that.
Damn it, how can we get hugs to this woman?!?! I know you are going through s#!t most people cannot comprehend, but, you are showing how strong you are and how, even, in the words of Anne Shirley, "In the depths of Dispair", you are such a fighter and Warrior woman.
We all love you and are following you through your life and loving every second of it. Like I said before, where can we send hugs to you??
I FEEL THE HUGS!!!!
@@awkwardashleigh2 Hugs always seem to help. Thank you Ashliegh. Me too. Maybe not as bad as you've got it, but I know. And now, on top of everything else - COVID! I'm late to the party as usual, just when all the cool kids have switched over to Monkey Pox.
@@awkwardashleigh2 💖 😊
@@awkwardashleigh2 🤗🤗🤗
I've lived with depression all my life. It hasn't been that bad in a long time and it's partially (a very large part actually) due to mondays and fridays when your new video comes out. You're a fucking sunshine in other people's lives, Ashley - don't you forget that. \o/
My 16yo son struggles with depression. My mother struggled with it. My heart goes out to you. Focus on those around you and lean on them. We love you!
I will not pretend that I can relate, but I will say this: thank you for posting this. Thank you for feeling safe enough with us to not hide this part of your struggle (everyone has them, even if they're not the same). I wish you the best, Ashleigh, and any time that it feels too heavy, please feel free to talk it out to the camera and share with us. Any person that gives you any shit for it can suck a lemon.
Also, I bought my wife that same sunflower necklace :) Open it, read it, and remember that you are a ray of sunshine to many people in this world. That my not help with anything, but it's a truth that should always be remembered.
I know that feeling. Especially right after my husband died. I didn't really leave the house or talk to anyone for almost 18 months. (He committed suicide while he was in rehab for alcohol) The only thing that would get me out of bed was to let my dogs out and feed my cats. I wish I could send you HUMONGOUS HUGS right now. We love you Ashleigh
Thanks for spelling correctly.
Hugs to you; I understand 💚
I can't believe you recorded this. As a southern woman with depression I identify with EVERYTHING that you're going through. Truly, you're not alone but we're taught to be nice and pretty and pleasing and never let people see the ugly. Just. Thank you. I've never felt so in tune with anyone I've never spoken with in my life.
*Edit - I had to add this at the end. Look into spoon theory! The battery bar is basically the same thing. I've used spoon theory to try to explain the exhaustion to people.
Ashleigh, sometimes the most important thing is to keep the people in your life aware that YOU ARE THERE. External reminders like these do help, and anyone that sees this and needs it will definitely appreciate it.
Keep telling your story. I might not need it now. I might never need it. But I know people that need it now.
I hope you find the energy every day, and even on days you can't, i know you will the next day.
YOU GET IT!! I appreciate you!
I'm not even 5 minutes into this and I'm already crying. Just when I thought I loved you for being your spunky, witty, self, I end up loving you more for being MORE relatable than you already are. We really ARE going to get through it together. We absolutely HAVE gotten through 100% of our worst days so far. WE got this, Ashleigh. WE are not alone.
You are one of my favorite reactors on RUclips, and I myself have been struggling with depression most of my life. But watching you watch movies that gave me joy gives me joy all over again. God bless you.
Thank you. I'm 60 years into the depression now and one foot in front of the other wears pretty thin at times. It's hard to be okay when old and in pain when you weren't okay when young, healthy and full of energy. Each day is a challenge and finding one of your videos at night helps me through. Thanks again! One trick I've used. If you are kind to others and can't seem to be kind to yourself, imagine that "tomorrow you" is a different person. That person is older than you and a little more tired that you are. So, out of kindness for that person, do something you won't bother with for yourself to make that future person's life just a little bit easier. Get the laundry done so that they won't have to. Take out the trash. Clear a path though some clutter. Be nice to that person!
As a person with chronic generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks, I feel for you. All the best mojo from my family to you, thank you for all you do.
I was recently diagnosed with the same, Russel. The panic attacks make daily life incredibly difficult. I thought anxiety attacks and panic attacks were the same thing, but nooope. What do you do to manage your anxiety and panic attacks?
@@michaelgordon3552 , I take medication for the anxiety and wear constrictive clothing while at work (pressure relaxes me and helps give me some control) when a full attack comes on I use meditation/breathing exercises to get out of it if necessary. On occasion I have had to go to a hospital if I can't de-escalate.
10:00 For me, body maintenance (brushing my teeth, bathing, cutting my nail, cutting my hair, even eating and breathing) drain my bar. I know *EXACTLY* what you are talking about.
The worst part about depression is that you can't even explain it. Because like she said: "it's all in your head". And people think that you don't suffer from it because they look at you and they don't see anything "rare" in your behaviour. But they don't have a clue of how it feels INSIDE. I've struggled (and keep struggling) with depression for the last 4 or 5 years and remember moments of being awake at 4 am talking pills because I couldn't sleep a wink, crying a lot, drinking alcohol in the worst episodes and staring at the ceiling without saying a word. Or lying on bed not wanting to do anything, while my mind was running at 500 km per hour.
Then another day you wake up normal but it is always there in your mind... just waiting for the right moment to show up. Especially at night, when everything is quiet.
It's an impossible feeling to describe...and a nightmare
Every single word this woman says here is absolutely spot on. I've done therapy with two psychologist and noticed that none of them took it seriously; so I decided to contact a third one and it actually helped me much more.
I loved your video. It really helps a lot of people who suffer from this, like me for example. "It's not your fault" 👏👏👌
I didn’t know you had this channel.
I’ve always loved your reactions; but now I love YOU. I lack the bravery to be this open most of the time; let alone with a platform. Thank you.
Aww Ashleigh- don't compare your depression with other peoples'. What you're feeling is your truth. Different people are affected differently by traumas and you should never feel bad about the way it affects you- that's something I've also had to learn in my life. Now, go hug Beans for me 🐈
I'm not even two minutes in and I'm so impressed with your honesty and your bravery. Also, depression is not about having a hard life, depression is about making your life hard.
Thank you for posting this. I have had "issues" my whole life. To survive and not wreck your life you have to learn to appear well when you can and hide when you cannot fight it. It turns into a double edged sword. People will judge you based on outward appearances and never understand your struggles. It can be very isolating even if you have family and friends. It is not something they can fix so empathy often turn to frustration then as it impacts them apathy or anger. Unless you live with it most people don't understand that exhaustion is the threat. When you have tried everything to "fix" yourself and nothing changes you run out of will to continue. People view suicide as a weakness of a person but I understand that it is really someone who no longer has the strength to fight. My heart and love go out those who lost the battle against their own mind. I wish people understood how unique our issues are and how immature mental health sciences are. For many the help does not yet exist. 🤞And to those we lost and myself I hope there is peace in the afterlife.
I would suggest finding people in your life for whom you don't have to hide from. That being said, I have learned to pick and choose my supports as some significant people in my life are more stirred up by my issues than supportive. Its not that they don't want to, but people have limits. So we pick and choose our battles. But hiding it is toxic for me.
We love you Ashleigh. As a fellow depression fighter know that I am with you. It's just a day, it will pass, and we are right here with you. Like you said, you are not alone. We, are not alone. Love you and everyone. *hugs* ❤️
Love ya Ashleigh.
“You have no reason to be depressed” is just as inane as “it’s all in your head.” If I had a reason to feel this way it wouldn’t be a mental illness, it would just be sadness.
Anxiety and depression can absolutely be brought on by "something" but also by nothing. I think people have a hard time reconciling that. I have definitely had a stack of somethings that wrecked every aspect of my life and shoved me towards the edge of the cliff. But I also vividly remember really dark thoughts and actions from before all that, when I was around 7 and really didn't have "anything to be depressed over. "
Both ways it feels terrible. And honestly no matter how bad you have it, your brain can think of someone who you think has it worse, so if that's the case then nobody should be depressed? That's just not how it works.
The thing is, it IS all in our heads. That's the problem. It doesn't make it any less real. It's not imaginary. Our brains basically govern the rest of all aspects of our life. So if there is an issue, any of several possibilities, it's going to have a cascade effect through all the other systems of our body.
So, those of us who fight through depression, the next time someone tries to dismiss your depression or anxiety or panic by telling you it's all in your head, knock them off their game and agree with them.
"Yes, you're right. It is all in my head. And that's the problem. The chemicals and everything that allows my body to run smoothly have been knocked out of whack by a 'software malfunction' (tap your head) which is affecting all the hardware and software that govern my other systems."
@@arisucheddar3097 yup. Something and nothing. And it's so frustrating. I habe found that there is often a "recoil" effect. If I've had a really good day or weekend it will be followed by a "blue" season (day(s) or week(s), even).
@@stephanieellis5399 True, but people don't tell diabetics, "Don't worry, it's all in your pancreas!" They know that, like we know that depression (or other mental illnesses) is in our heads. But that does not help, and I think that most people who say these inanites know it. Diabetics are helped by insulin and we are helped by SSRIs, and the like.
I'm annoyed by people who confuse sadness with depression. I've had family members actually say to me, "I'm depressed all the time but it doesn't stop _me_ from taking a shower." I keep telling them that what they are describing is sadness, not clinical depression. It's like comparing a hangnail with having your arm torn off.
@@davelister2961 you are absolutely right.
The sarcastic and snarky part of me was what came up with that argument. It's still true. And sometimes it discombobulates people when you agree with them instead of arguing and that gets them to listen.
But you're right in that other people people don't have to justify why and for the most part people don't confuse diabetes for insulin resistance, for example.
I hope that you have more good days than bad days.
Thank you Ashleigh for talking about self-harm. Yesterday, I passed 8 months clean! For years I suffered with religious trauma as a queer Christian and that's what I used to deal with my pain. I'm still not at 100% and that's okay but I have a better support system now and am happier than I've ever been.
Thank you for having the bravery to share this. I've been battling against depression for pretty much my entire adult life (I'll be 52 in less than a month), but I only realized what was wrong in the last ten years or so. It's taken a lot of trial and error to find what works for me, and even then it doesn't work 100% of the time, but I'm in a better place now than I was even five or six years ago. There were a few times when I gave serious consideration to "the final solution", enough so that, more than once, the only thing that stopped me was not having a convenient way of doing it. It does help to know that I am not alone, and that there are people to talk to, even if I've never met them in person. Thanks for the reminder, Ashleigh. Sending you lots of hugs and love.
My husband ended up with depression in 2010 a month after our 1st year of being a married couple , it was scary and upsetting hearing that he didn't want to be here. I just took each day as it came , taking care of my two young children , had my mum come and stay , in laws didn't visit once . All i do now is just look for the signs in case it happens again
Very VERY brave and selfless of you to do this, Ashleigh, truly. While seeing you go through this is far from fun, what you've done here is nothing less than a public service and it NEEDS to be shared as much as possible. The fact that there is still a stigma about mental health is a crime against humanity. I don't know you and never will, yet I'm still proud of you, and not in a patronising way.
Been making it through the bad days and depression episodes for almost 53 years. Finally found MY therapist and lucky that I haven’t had a depressive episode since I started with her. Will be glad to and honored to ride the Hot Mess Express as long as you decide to keep it open. Prayers for love, light and all good juju your way, Ashleigh.
Ashleigh, I really appreciate you doing this. I don’t have depression, but I do struggle with severe anxiety.
When you said “You know it’s coming and you can’t stop it, and the easiest way to get through an episode is to just let it happen, but I don’t want it to.” Wow, That really hit home.
Thank you for letting the rest of us know that we are not alone, not in the slightest. God bless you :)
Gotta add after watching till the end, right now I really love what and who you are. Your sincerely trying to help others and I feel it. God bless.thank you.
Thank you for this video. I’m going through my lowest low I’ve ever had and you made me feel seen. It’s very easy with depression to think you are alone even though deep inside you know it’s a lie and videos like this help so much. Thank you❤
"It's all in your head -- no shit." That resonated hard for me. My logical brain would always give me reasons why I shouldn't feel a certain way, but that doesn't change the fact.
Your battery bar analogy is perfect.
Hello, I came over your video by scrolling through your old videos. As a stranger on the internet I appreciate that you dared to share this. I havent been struggeling with depression. But I have had a few anxiety attacs during my lifetime, and looking back at it, it doesnt seem that significant, but looking back at it with this video, I remember the struggle. You reminded me of how heavy it acually was. And I am thankful for you to make me revisit those episodes and remember the real experience, and not the one I depict myself,to shield myself from it. Being in the thick of it, you know you can just make it go away, but you cant, because you tell yourself you are not worth it. i remember the second time i had a anxiety attack, the hindsight of the thought that it felt so easy looking back at it, and how to fix it, made it worse, because the self sabotage said, you are not worth it to even fix it with experience, and knowlege on how to fix it. I learned how to recognice it early, and stop myself going into anxiety. But it has been a long time. Thanks for reminding me, it acually helps alot. I needed a reminder. I am sad an happy at the same time for realizing that I had forgotten how those episodes where.
Ashleigh, I want to thank you for sharing this video. I’ve been dealing with severe depression for about 2 years and the amount of people in my family that don’t take it into consideration and continuously judge me and my bad moods as just being grumpy. This video has came into my life at a time where I really desperately needed to hear someone else’s experience. Thank you and sending so much love to you ❤️
Bravo. So well said and explained. I'm 47 now, so I've found my way through this battle over all the years. My teens and 20s were the hardest. 30s was healing though knowledge and understanding this exists and I'm not alone. I learned so much about myself once I seeked help, and through that therapy and understanding I found comfort and peace. I pray for all to find their path, their support, their therapy, their treatment that they may need. Seek and you shall find it. God bless you!
Hey Ashleigh... I only started watching your videos a few weeks ago. I didn't know you suffered from depression... and I wanted to just say that knowing that you're not alone is... it gives me some strength, too. I've been depressed since I was a child. It's such a battle. But I wanted to thank you for sharing this. For being open and reaching out. Wish I could send you and Beans some hugs. And I hope you get through this episode as quickly as you wish to. You're not alone. Never alone.
Quality message. I was depressed many years ago and resorted to self harm. I can still see the scars but they're somewhat hidden under the tattoos. I hate that time. I gave strong consideration to the big sleep as well. Those feelings were stronger and more graphic than I care to explain. But now, I have a great life. Still single, but that's okay. I can do some cool shit for myself and others.
I watch this, late at night, as I have only eaten once today and have devalued my self worth. The first day off after a work week is always the toughest for my mental health. I struggle to eat, to get chores done, to maintain my hygiene, to take care of both my physical and mental health. However, 8-9 years ago, I survived my lowest point in my life. The journey to rise up and keep going continues. I grateful for the timing of this video. I appreciate your vulnerability here. I struggle with being vulnerable. Not because I don't want to, but because I tell myself "no one will hear me out". Which then leads to feeling lonely. I am not alone. You are not alone. Hope this made some sense, as I haven't quite gotten out of the funk yet tonight.
I will end with a quote I got from a retreat I attended many years ago. "Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birthplace for joy and creativity, of belonging, of love." Namaste.
Ms. Ashleigh, please know that you are a source of joy, comfort and support for me. I love all of the various Ashleighs, each for their contributions to my existence.
As a lifelong depressive, I have gone through much of what you describe so well. Except that I'm not particularly subject to severe cycles like you are. Which is good for me, but rips my heart out when I think about what you go through.
To turn the mirror back on you, know that you are loved just for being you, even when your brain refuses to believe that.
I must admit, though, that I'm disappointed that I won't get the chance to be one of your ex-husbands.
As someone that suffers from severe Anxiety and probably depression, you are not alone. I rely on RUclips content to keep my brain entertained and distracted instead of constantly focusing in on my anxiety. Seeing what you have accomplished with you channel while living with depression is an inspiration to all of us dealing with these same issues. Knowing that there are more of us out there lets us know it is ok to feel this way sometimes. You are a ray of sun light in dark times for many of us. Thank you!
You are not alone. I've had depression and anxiety most of my life and I take meds, but they don't work through the worst of it. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. The worst for me is when someone says "just smile" or "why are you depressed?" The best one is 'just think happy thoughts'. As if I think these horrible thoughts because I want to. YOU are not alone. We are all in this together, like one big crying, unhappy family.
14:08 legit sobbing when suggesting to play this video walking into your appointment if you don’t have that somebody ❤❤❤
Sending love to you and yours from Orlando, Florida.
10 years deep in my mental illness journey from a brain injury. I can’t thank you enough for this.
I struggle with anxiety and depression. The past couple years (pandemics amirite😒) have been the worst for me. I also have a 10 year old son, and I feel horrible when I think that his childhood memories are going to include a grungy mother and sinks full of dishes. And no amount people of telling me that ‘people have it worse’, ‘you have no reason to feel like that’, etc is going to help me want to do those dishes or have that shower. It’s so offensive when people say that.
Thanks for this video♥️
My daughter is going through the same thing right now. I watch her struggle knowing I can't help other than be there. She once told me not to give her advice because she only wants me to listen and not try to fix it. As a mom, that's hard. Of course I want to fix it. But I'm glad she told me.
Do what you need to, Ashleigh. We'll be here through it and at the end of it for you. Vent, open up. Your feelings are valid. Take your time, sweetie 🌻
I really feel this. It's been two of the hardest years of my life and some days I just can't get out of it.
I've been watching your channel for so long and never knew you where struggling with this. I am in the middle of a depressive episode and I really really needed this. It has been a rough few days of these negative thoughts have made it impossible for me to sleep. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, being told I am enough literally made me cry (in the best way) Thank you for making me feel less alone.
Ashleigh, I can't say I understand what you're going through, because I can't. I will say that you are a brave, and special young lady. I'm a Navy veteran, and while I don't suffer from PTSD, I have several friends who do. I've helped a few of them through episodes, and have lost 3 to suicide. I don't have any answers, and am definitely not a trained professional, but I have realized that sometimes all they need is someone to talk to that has been through the same suck that they have....or sometimes just someone to yell at. If sometimes you just need a stranger to talk with or yell at....reach out...to somebody.....please. There are a lot of us out here who care, and have big shoulders.
Your Battery analogy is exactly what I needed to hear. I've never been able to put the energy or lack there of, into words. Thanks Sweetie! Inherited mental health is a B@#&H!!!! Keep on keeping on! Together we can make our lives better!
My girlfriend and one of my best friends since high school have lived with depression their whole lives. It's never easy to watch them struggle with their daily lives and I feel so bad that I can't help them more. But if you need to let it out and express yourself, do it. Your supporters are here and we love you. Be strong and lean on those who you trust to help you. You are amazing and you are definitely my favorite movie reviewer! Keep it up.
Ashleigh. As a person who was depressed from teenhood until 50 or so.. I have to tell you, I did medications, exercise, etc., but MEDITATION is what saved me. Not only that, it changed me into a happy person, something that I did not expect. I just didn't want to be in constant despair, but it gave me actual peace and happiness. Don't wait till your 40's to do it because it does take some dedication, but SO worth it.
I wish I'd thought to do it when I was younger. Maybe I just had to get fed up enough, I don't know. All I can say is that now I'm blessed!
Go within to find the answers. Trust your heart.
Never give up. 💙🌿💜
I always appreciate your transparency about dealing with depression. I've also struggled with it and anxiety for most of my life. Tbh for as long as I can remember. I know you've said people often don't believe you because you come across as upbeat and happy most of the time. For me, it's the opposite unless you really spend a lot of time with me. What annoys me is even when I'm in a great mood, people assume I'm upset. Somedays I am, other days I'm just my usual low energy and reserved self lol. 💕 Sending you lots of hugs and uplifting energy.
Ashleigh, you described it perfectly- being "trapped". Anyone who hasn't gone through this cannot understand what it's like or why you can't just "snap out of it" (my very unhelpful family comes to mind). Hearing that "you have nothing to be depressed about, your life is great" just makes you feel even more shitty because you KNOW that there are people who are struggling in life, they don't have a place to live, or a safe bed to sleep in, you have it good, why can't you just be happy? Depression doesn't work that way. Depression is really an asshole like that. I too have s**f-h**med as a result of depression and anxiety and haven't in a long time, but that feeling is always there, lurking deep down, because I know it will give that tiny bit of relief. When you're hurting, anything that gives you relief seems like a lifeline. I am working with a fantastic therapist rn to find something chemical that helps my awful brain but doing small things like watching your videos (which always move me to tears) or sharing shark memes with my husband- whatever gets you from one minute to the next...
I've often likened my depression to a series of underground caves with false glimmers of light and dead ends to eternal darkness. People don't get the bullying and abuse I suffered as a kid and beyond has left marks that include PTSD. I nearly ended it a few years back, but in a better place now and retraining so can help others with my love of nature. I'm glad you're getting help, and hope for a positive future for you.
55 years of fighting and I'm still here thanks to good friends and people like you keep up the good work
THANK YOU, ASHLEIGH ... For letting me know that i'm not, Crazy!!! I alway's knew that i had some kind of problem, but i just didn't know what was wrong with me. I have just one really good friend and, he's not the one to talk this "problem" with. I have my doctor, and he's another one that i can not open up to about this, "Sickness" with. So it's just up to me to find the right (solution). Thank's again, Ashleigh. Love you, much. 😪
This made me cry. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have depression and anxiety. You're a wonderful person and you using this to reach out to others and offer advice is very good of you. You deserve food, water, sunshine and kindness. I'm glad you have support in your life. Thanks for sharing such great videos every week, and for sharing this with us too. I hope things get better for you.
Oh man. I watch your reaction channel but I never knew about this. As a chronic depression case going on 20 years, I would give you one bit of advice. Just keep fighting, focus on the good things and fight as hard as you can.
This is so relatable. I've lost too many years to mental illness. My best friend says that I have a bully living in my head. I picture it kind of like waves in the ocean and I just need to float. I can't fight it. I can't worry about getting anywhere. I just need to float. For what it's worth (and this is just my experience), reading the Bible in the morning gives me so much peace. It's therapeutic for me. Also, changing my diet has helped so much, particularly dropping processed sugar and caffeine. I'm not a doctor, I just know what's worked for me. And you're not making anything up. Keep going, lovely girl. Just do the best you can and thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this.
I think one of the biggest misnomers people have is that "You have nothing to be depressed about" - being sad about something is completely different to being depressed.
Like Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) says, "Depression lies." I've been pretty lucky and haven't had anything worse than a few depressive episodes... mostly I don't deal with depression. But so many in my family have (some who have taken their own lives, unfortunately)... and my heart goes out to everyone who struggles. I am glad you're here... and glad everyone else here is HERE. Everyone is important to someone... even if you're not feeling important to yourself in the moment. People need to stop judging others and just find compassion. I can't completely understand the mindset, but I can see the struggles... and I know they're real for the person dealing with it... and I'm here for them. Thank you for being so real, Ashleigh. I kept thinking, "If I saw her crying on the side of the road, I'd ask if she needed a hug!" I feel like we all know you and want to protect you... take care of yourself, however you need to! PS: I spent all last week at my first in-person conference in 2.5 years and it was a lot (I'm introverted, but a public speaker... but the pandemic did my anxiety in)... anyway, I've been back home since Saturday night and still haven't taken a shower. I don't even have depression to blame... I'm still just in recharge phase. Also, that's why god made baby wipes! 🤣
Sad for your losses. 🙏
Thank you for explaining so clearly for those who will listen. I've have battled depression for 62 years. Meds and therapy can help periodically, but they're not a fool proof cure all. Your posts are a great support. Thank you more than I can ever fully express.
Ashleigh, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE and thank God for you every time I get to spend time with you watching any of your videos! One thing I know for sure is that God is using you in an amazing way and HE USES EVERY TEAR to bring healing to you and so many others. Even when you are in the midst of a depressed episode, you still manage to share words & emotions that give me hope and lift me up. Whether it's sharing truths that most of us hide {hairy legs and not showering, brushing teeth or cleaning for days}, speaking a profound 3 words,"Existing is exhausting", or just sharing your wonderfully real thoughts, "Am I the only one that licks my tears sometimes?" I love that you can make me laugh in the midst of my own tears. To quote Dolly, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotio". ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I didn't know what depression and anxiety disorder was until later in life so I was one of those that couldn't relate until life threw me a curve ball and wow I dropped into a deep dark well of depressions and anxiety, and there was NO WAY I could "lift myself up by my bootstraps" or "just be happy" but I went to my doctor and asked for help and got on meds and it was a night and day difference, it truly makes you understand that just like a broken bone that needs to be mended and can't just be ignored so is your mental health, and sometimes therapy and meds are needed to mend, and just like you can rebreak a bone, sometimes you have mental setbacks and again need to heal through various channels which can include therapy and meds, there is no shame... I wish you all the best and thank you for showing the reality many, many people have to go through on a daily basis or even periodically throughout their lives. Again, thank you.
There is still such a stigma around mental health and depression. Thank you for speaking openly about it. That’s the only way we can break down that stigma. 💜
I have been in such a mental funk over the past week and a half that's turned toward intrusive thoughts. It's something I've dealt with for 17 years but it's still difficult to get through and can feel so suffocating at times. I needed this reminder today. Thank you ❤︎
In the thick of a depressive episode, I've had to slow it way down to "one breath at a time." It helps to be open about it. It helps to be mindful of it. And it helps to remind myself that I am loved. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for this! People don’t understand and it’s so hard to explain. I’ve struggled for years. By the time I come home from work I have nothing left for my family. It breaks my heart because that’s not the mother I wanted to be for my kids. I understand you and I know what it’s like.
Ashleigh, anyone here who would comment thet you're just looking for attention or you don't have depression are idiots who shouldn't be here. You're a funny and insightful person who deserves all the love and happiness in the world. You said at the end of your Thor: The Dark World review that one of the things that keeps you going is us. It works both ways. There are those of us who watch your reaction vids who only keep going because of what you do.
You are an amazing person. And you are loved.
I’ve been in a depressive episode and i’ve been feeling so dreadfully alone and i’m so glad you posted this video because it makes me feel less alone. I just try to remind myself that Everything is temporary, including your bad days
I see you and hear darlin. I totally understand. I have been there and it's something that I will continue for the rest of my life. I was in therapy and my therapist said, "You're feelings are your feelings. Right or wrong. Good or bad. It's what you do with those feelings that count." That was a game changer for me and it's one of the many things that I stored in my toolbox for coping with my mental illness. I am so glad that you have shared this with everyone. You are beautiful and I am glad you're here.
Much love and true understanding,I'm 61,I love watching you for over a year now,it's very hard sometimes,, I've suffered with this for 40 years,I believe you, people don't understand, that some days it takes everything you have just to even think about getting out of bed ,or terrified to answer the phone or door,.. don't give up,you are loved
I used to always tell myself that I had “situational depression”. I had it in my head that people I was around, my job, my house, etc was the reason I felt the way I did and that a few changes would fix it. What a load of crap that was…lol. I’m so glad that people are starting to get that it is a chemical thing and regardless how people perceive you, the imbalance is always there and can be treated. Thank you so much for sharing this! It means a lot and will for many of your followers! ❤️❤️
Yo Ashleigh, I don’t even suffer from depression but this video just uplifted me!!!! You are awesome. Keep doing what you do!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I can relate. The world is particularly difficult today and that makes it worse. It’s absolutely ok to openly acknowledge when it’s happening. You have an army of people that genuinely enjoy your content… ignore the negative people, those people will always be around. If you decide to do nothing while things are rough, that’s ok! We just hope the rollercoaster brings us back up quickly. NEVER stop talking when things get rough, if you can make yourself voice it. I get it, so many people bottle it up, sometimes not because of shame… but just because we can’t. On that note, NO SHAME. 😄 thanks for sharing, we look forward to the good days & learn the bad days will come, and we just hope that the unwanted guest leaves quickly. 💛
Thank you so much for this video ..bringing awareness is the most important thing. I myself suffer from CPTSD which makes me spiral into depression, self loathing, rage, fear, sadness , anxiety and oh way too much more than I can handle. I do go to therapy yet still feel totally alone in it. Friends and family still don’t totally get it even though I’ve been diagnosed for more than ten years. I believe it is important to just accept the person even if they don’t get it just love us for who we are and for all that we come with. Thank you Ashleigh so much. I know it may not be the thing to tell you but still I am so proud of you for your openness even though we don’t know each other. I love your channel and all your videos. This one I will watch on my own bad spiral days to not feel alone. Xoxoxo
If I were in Knoxville or even close to it, I would give you the biggest hug for this. So many people need to hear your words. God I love my ticket on the Hot Mess Express. You always say what you feel and do an awesome job letting people know that they are not alone!
Hiya Ashleigh ! You are so BRAVE, thank you for sharing this with everybody. It will definitely HELP more than one person. MOST of us support you 100%. We hurt FOR You but realize only YOU can minimize & eliminate your mental health issues. Depression is like being in the middle of a Maze......with No Hope, No Way Out. NOT EVEN A "PLAN". And that may be a Key. -Best Wishes & God Bless > P.S. Hey just think, at least you're not Amber Heard. #AwesomeAshleigh
Big love Ashleigh. I'm a lot older and have dealt with the exact same shit my whole life. I found your channel thru YTs recommended and had a look. You came across as so bright and light and that put smile on my miserable face. I never saw this side until you brought it up and you wouldn't believe how many folks on my subs list have turned out to be in our boat. I hope so much that this comment and the hundreds of others give you that little bit of relief and support. I said before that I am just starting my journey into getting some help for myself. I will make my first psychologist appt on Monday and honestly I am shitting myself about taking that step. You've just given me a bit more courage to take the step so THANK YOU! I'm 50 in the summer so I have put up with this crap for way too long so you're way ahead of me in getting the help you need. Keep fighting girl, us gingers have to stick together. 😆🦰😆 I know we can both do it, so loads of love and support from far away in Bonnie Scotland ❤🏴❤
GLADLY shared this across several platforms...GOD LOVE YOU!
Thank you Ashleigh!! For being so honest, raw, and vulnerable. For showing us what you experience beyond your reaction/reviews, and other fun videos. As someone who experiences Depression and Anxiety myself, it’s always helpful to know that we’re not alone, and that what we experience shouldn’t be minimised, dismissed, or ignored by ourselves or others. Sometimes you just have to feel it and move through it, other times some healthy forms of assistance and intervention is needed. Keep up the great work, both here and in your personal life. You’re amazing. Much love from Tasmania, Australia.
We love you, Ashleigh!
Holy crap… watching you cry to steel magnolias is genuinely joyous… watching this is heart breaking. I’m so sorry. It sounds as though you’ve made some progress over time. I hope making these and sharing them helps.
1. Showers are overrated
2. One shirt in four days is great for The environment
3. Fuh-huck em… everyone is ignorant.. don’t let the bastard get you down. We’re all stupid…most of us don’t know it.
4. There are many smiles and laughs in your future. Like you said…the clouds will party and the sun will shine on your doorstep soon. I look forward to sharing some of those with you via your reactions.
Hang in there!!!
I lick my tears also.
I love that you are so open about it. I have been depressed also in my twenties, probably even earlier but then it was diagnosed. I was so tired, doing one washing or just taking a shower would be all for a day. After a couple of years it melted in some kind of constant light depression/uncomfortable feeling. Luckily I can recognize when it is getting bigger and have my actions to try to stop it for getting bigger. Last years with COVID really didn’t help, being locked up in the house all alone, not seeing my friends, etc.
I hope this periods will be a short one for you. Love your videos and your personality.
And your beautiful hair, so jealous! 😘
Love ya, Ashley. You're honestly my absolute favorite reaction channel. I fully understand the depression thing. I fight that fight too. Also, the pandemic turned my slight hermit tendencies into full blown agoraphobia and social anxiety. Just know that you're loved, hon.
I feel for you with the pandemic making your stuff worse. I had a very odd almost opposite reaction to the pandemic. I watched everyone else go through the isolation, difficulty communicating, doubting and struggling with the rules, and who to trust and I suddenly saw everyone now understood how I felt my whole life. I am less alone in my feelings than I have ever been thanks to Covid. Not sure that is a good thing in the grand scheme of the universe though. be well and thrive.
Struggle is certain, fear is a choice. You got it. What you've been doing takes guts and is worthy of respect, keep it going, man!
Thank you Ashleigh. Some handy insights for sufferers and their families. Support and insight is the key and if you know yourself, know your symptoms and stages, have exercises ready to go for when your ill; and just hang on and recoup. We'll be here. We'll be patient. You're what we are here for.
Hi Ashleigh, I suffer from Schizoaffective disorder type 2 which I've had since I was 9 years old. I'm 40 now and still battling. Type 2 is depression and it isn't easy sharing your struggles, especially with people who have no idea. Everything you mentioned in your video I have or still experience to this day. Luckily I have one friend who has depression so he knows exactly what I'm talking about and vice versa. As a child, one of my escapes was and still is movies. Movies have helped me through some dark times even when I've felt alone. I discovered your Millennial Movie Monday videos searching for a video on Alien, I'm a huge fan of the first 3 alien movies, and came across your Alien & Aliens first time watching videos. I enjoy your videos and like movies, your videos have helped me get by at times. I'd like to say 'Thank you' for that. You have helped me without even being in the same room as me. I am proud of you Ashleigh and thank you once again. I'm not very good at messages so apologies if I'm coming off as weird...I also suffer from anxiety. Take care and best wises to you and everyone here :)
Right on, Ash, keep fighting! ❤
Everyone, your feelings and struggles are valid, and it's okay to not be OK, as Ash stated, and if you're still here in this world despite everything, then you're doing your best, and you're doing great!
Since the age of four, I've lived with depression, and I'm twenty-two now. My family didn't know until I was sixteen. My mother, instead of talking to me (which, to be fair, she never really does), wrote me a letter saying she didn't understand my ''self-hate'' which is something she assumed I had which was not the case and in that letter was also the first time she ever ''said'' she loved me. The letter had good intentions but missed the mark in many ways.
Then at the doctor's to get medication, the doctor asked when my depression started, and mum said ''thirteen'', and I disagreed, saying it started at age four. But then she said something that surprised me; ''what I see and what you feel are very different things.'' And that's the thing, people, even those close to you, are going to experience what you experience totally different. They see or hear that you're worn out but don't understand why because 'nothing' is going on, that's their perception, but that DOEASN'T mean that what you feel and your perception is wrong just because it's different from the popular belief. The people who tell you it's not real or there's no reason for it aren't the ones living with it.
I still struggle a lot to this day, but I'm five years clean of harm, after having done it for eleven years- I will be six years clean by the end of this year, Christmas to be exact - and it's hard work but I'm going to keep fighting, I hope anyone else here struggling can keep putting up a good fight too. We may not win the battle against this disease and be free of it, but we can give it hell.
Thank you for posting the realities of being a person who struggles with mental health issues. I'm a combat veteran with PTSD on top of ADHD and depression (as well as just being an odd duck haha), and the constant dissonance between logic and the chemical imbalances can tear you apart. Absolutely love ya and we're all here for you ♥️
I think you’re fantastic for being open about this. People will ridicule . F**k them. You’re a hero as far as I’m concerned.
I feel you. Got 3 weeks on sick leave for anxiety, depression and panic attacks. antidepression pills help some, but it is a real mind job. Watching your videos has always brightnet my days. I hope you get the help you need and get well soon
"When you don't wanna be here at all, taking care of WHAT'S HERE is really, really hard".
Fuck... the accuracy of that statement hit me so hard.
Thank you for this video. Thank you for everything.
Much love to you!
Thank you so much for making this video. I also have depression but a lot of my immediate family doesn't fully get it. People don't understand that depression is different for everybody. So when they tell me to snap out of it or watch a funny movie that doesn't do anything but reinforce that you don't hear me. When you said "existing becomes so exhausting" I cried. You are putting a voice to some of my emotions that I can't fully articulate. After Naomi passed, I think Ashley Judd said that this disease is so vicious because it lies. Tells you you're not worthy of anything. Like you, I've heard the whisper of just turn the car into the oncoming lane. It's a constant struggle & I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to show one of your episodes. I see & hear you! 💜
Showing your emotions is not a sign of weakness, it only shows you've been strong too long.
My fiancée suffers from depression and anxiety; either on their own is bad enough but when the 2 collide its not nice 😔
You are only as strong as you can be!
You'll be ok, Ashleigh
I feel your pain, love. All the time. We depressives are a big tribe.
By the way, it's fine to want and need some attention. So FUCK all those trolls who act like it's precious or negative to do so. We're on your side hun and we ALL, including you, deserve to do what we gotta do and have what we gotta have.
Peace from the UK, Ash.