The Art Of Being Socially Attractive
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- Опубликовано: 14 май 2024
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Look under any RUclips video of Simu Liu and you'll see commenters praising his charisma. He’s new to being an A-list celebrity, but he’s making an incredible first impression.
So in this video, we’ll go through 6 mistakes most people make during their first impressions, and 6 habits you can learn from Simu that will let you make an amazing first impression instead. These habits are super easy to do, most people just don’t think to do them.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:37 - Make A Strong Entrance
Mistake: thinking a first impression starts when you start speaking
2:03 - Get comfortable taking up the space around you
Mistake: keeping your arms tight to your body while you speak
3:30 - Look for Observational Compliments early in the interaction
Mistake: trying to be “cool” by coming in aloof or standoffish
4:34 - Elevate the people around you
Mistake: focusing solely on trying to make yourself look good
5:29 - Be an Encouraging Listener
Mistake: thinking that to make a good impression, you have to do all the talking
7:20 - Have great answers for the questions you know you’re likely to be asked
Mistake: having boring answers to the standard questions you know are coming
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#SimuLiu #CharismaOnCommand
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Simu embodies a lesson my dad taught me when I was little: if you want to be found as likable and interesting, take the first step and be interested.
Dale Carnegie said the same thing in his book. But you're dad's right. Just surprised most people don't ask questions or take an interest, but only love to talk about themselves. So be interested in others, but also interesting to them as well
exactly the uncle vibe and personality
The guy just looks like he's having a lot of fun! Everyone loves to be around people who are having a good time.
Nah, its all sickening Hollywood fakery.
I have fewer than 1 friend in the World. That's right. Everybody disses me for making bad videos. I think they are perfect though. Who is right? My dissers or me? Which side are you on, dear ste
@@awesomewelles9174 :)
@@awesomewelles9174 you obviously didn’t know him before he became famous
@@awesomewelles9174 nah simu is the real deal. Take this coming from a Toronto boy (simu is also from Toronto). He’s such a nice guy
This channel has helped me act like a person more than my therapists.
Maybe your therapists haven't watched enough of the videos to act like people.
@@JoeSmith-oy3hk I feel like telling them RUclips videos help me out isn't the most convincing way to tell a doctor that I'm okay.
@@ChronicTonic true, but luckily their advice is Broad enough that it doesn't seem like I'm copying from someone. Things like sitting down spread out or making eye contact with everyone in the group when you talk is easy and not clearly copying anyone's persona.
The "posity energy" is the hardest for shy af people
@@dfo990 I find it easier because when people want to hang with me I'm happy. My issue is finding things to talk about, which this channel also helps.
The problem with "being playful" though is that people always accuse you of flirting, it's frustrating when you are literally just being yourself
Go with it, have fun. If they accuse you of flirting, reply with "As if I had a shot with all that (and point to them). I'm just having a good time." This will test out the waters with them to see if you have a shot, just out of curiosity.
Or if you don't want that kind of attention from them them, you can say "You're just seeing what you want to see 😉". It shuts it down in a light hearted way.
@@joeybright7831 Wow!😲😂... thank you so much for this trick..imma definitely use this one! 🌚
Yup.
That annoyed the absolute hell out of me.
One of the main reasons why I avoid talking to people.
They are weird when they convince themselves of lies.
Yes, i even had to have meetings with my my bosses and workers that was working under me because they thought i was flirting. So be carefull... i ended up with beeing a team leader over a team where almost all girls hated me becuse of that
Sourabh Pandharmise Nah dont do that. You always have a shot
1. Make a strong entrance (confident body language, and positive energy for example smile)
2. Lead with a touch for example shake hands or hug
3. Look for opportunities to be verbally positive and look for compliments to give
4. Elevate others and compliment them even of they are not around
5. Be an encouraging listener (smile, laugh, make eye contact and compliment the questions)
6. Be playful when answering questions
7. Prepare answers for usual questions
No thanks. I hate giving compliments. In the hood, this is seen as phony.
Keep up the good work man!
“Aye cuh I fw the 1’s you got”
@@danielhart7435 Me big man, me no compliment little man 🙄
Great job bruhhhh
1:26 - He even played it cool when he thought she wanted a hug lmao. Smooth.
Being charming is all about liking people. Everything, body language, tone, etc., will take care of itself.
Underrated comment
Aka take mdma, and everyone will love you lol. (notsrs)
You can fake charm. Especially if you don't like ppl. I understand what you're saying though.
That's my problem, I hate people.
TIL Serial killers like people
1. Make confident entrance
2. Touch according
3. Give genuine compliment
4. Appreciate people behind them
5. Appreciacte question
6. Make them feel funny and charismatic
7. Prepare for faq
1:33 "In your own life, you obviously don't have to dance as you enter every room"
Imagining that made me laugh really hard. People would get so fed up with you
Like we did with Ellen lol
@@twiceshy9773 nah I think we got fed up with her when she started hanging out with war criminals and doubled down over it.
As an actress, I know that "entering a room correctly" is part of your acting education. It's what you learn in movement & audition class. So we can kind of say that it's all an act.
I’m in school for acting myself and I second this motion
have you acted in anything yet??!
@@vidu8280 Yes
" all the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players, performers and portrayers. Each another's audience, outside the gilded cage"
Omg I'd love to learn acting, do they have acting schools specifically for women ?
All these tips are great, but be careful. Always test what you are comfortable with and what is working.
Don't blindly copy other people.
✅
All of the examples are just that, examples of famous people who excel at being charismatic. Genuineness always wins out, but you can still learn from others.
Yes most of these stuff are just basic rules that you can play around with find what suits you
True
true
Don’t size up the people you’re going to be socializing with, if you mentally start comparing yourself and start focusing on the things you believe are your short comings, with others before the first interaction, you’ve already damaged you’re self confidence and set yourself up for failure. The interactions that come after will be awkward. Walk into a room like you’ve got nothing to prove to yourself or anyone else, and treat everyone in the room as an equal, you’ll feel much more confident and will be instantly more likeable.
Awesome video!! Would love to see more breakdowns on women that are charismatic too:)
Indeed, too few women are recommended by this channel as models for emulation. Worse, most of their examples are "celebrities". Where are the writers, scientists, teachers, engineers, carpenters, and nurses? In an age of all-the-time photo snapping and video recording, there has to be footage of charismatic and exemplary people other than actors, right?
Agreed! I've been saying this for years! Would really love to see more charismatic women featured on this channel and more tips geared towards women (not just tips for men on how to "get" a woman). This channel has helped me so much in improving my confidence but there's a ton of differences socially between how woman flirt, make small talk, express opinions, handle conflicts, show leadership, etc that I would love to learn more about. I wonder if they know a female charisma coach that could host the vids?
@@AhnastasiaRose agreed 100%
So much of the advice is incredibly valuable, but would be cool to have targeted advice too! Maybe they’ll see this comment and think about it haha
I think the problem also lies within the confines of our patriarchal society we live in. most male influential figures are more encouraged to carry "dominant" attitudes and vibrations. unfortunately, women, because of our conditioning, are more encouraged to carry subconsciously submissive attitudes. and sometimes it difference is so micro, but regardless none of us, as human beings, are static. we're all in a constant state of flux thankfully. but I agree, it'd be nice to see some more women in the foray.
@@inhobiswinecellar9571 woman moment
I’m glad Shang-Chi was a hit, Simu Liu and so many of the cast members are so awesome and I lub dem
@S how to be popular in the internet: Give unpopular opinion
@S the movie has already made a lot of money and has great reviews lol.
@S I'm guessing you're not a superhero movie guy lol.
@S care to elaborate on what you mean by "real villain"?
Also, I'm not understanding how hulk becoming proffesor hulk and thor losing himself because of his failure in infinity war, made endgame not a good movie. Care to explain there too?
"Hit" is pushing the definition a bit. "Break-even" is more accurate. These films need to make a significant profit margin to actually be a "hit" and keep producers happy. So far it looks like the MCU is finished having hit films. The last Star Wars film only made a $300 million profit, and Disney reacted by basically cutting all their Star Wars film projects in favor of focusing on live-action and animated shows instead. I expect we'll see the same with the MCU (already are, with Wandavision, Loki, and such) in coming years; fewer and fewer film releases, with smaller budgets and an increasing focus on cheaper streaming content for Disney+ instead.
People tend to forget that these films need to clear around a 20% profit or better to be worth making. Shang-Chi supposedly cost about $200 million, the actual cost would be north of $400 million with marketing and other costs associated. The box office numbers are somewhat inflated as well, as the studio only really gets around 60% of that total (and usually a lower percentage from foreign theaters). So a $200 million dollar production like this really needs to clear $650 to 700 million to break-even on ticket sales.
That's... probably not going to happen.
Projections are that it'll hit $250 million domestically, and usually MCU films end up with roughly double the domestic US box office. So we're looking at around a $500 million total global box office. Whether or not it actually reaches the break-even point will largely depend on the Disney+ streaming numbers, since they get a better percentage return on that than theatrical ticket sales, and how much money Disney gets from toy sales.
To be a legit hit, Shang-Chi really needs to pass $800 million. Anything less, and the producers would've been better off investing their money in an ETF/Index Fund.
I’ve been a fan of this guy for some time now, and admired his charisma in interviews since his Kim’s Convenience days. I’m glad you made a video on him.
As someone who has recently discovered that I have some moderate dark triad traits, I love this channel because it helps me learn how to consciously interact with others more positively and in a way that is mutually beneficial rather than creating tension and conflict.
But please try not to manipulate people for your sole benefit 😂
It’s usually a slippery slope
@@Snoop_Duggright bro.. I want to be what actually I am... This is just indirect manipulating. But you know what people are always fake and manipulative in this cruel world. So there's no bad in you being manipulative. Huh... What do you think?
Great choice with picking him as an example. I've been watching a number of his interview. He's very charismatic and captivating. I think what comes down to from what I observed is that he is very grounded, present, calm and positive in general. He's comfortable with himself, with being himself and with others. He's also very articulate, which helps. That is an internal thing which shines through and the social skills strategies are the icing on the cake.
in response to the tip "thinking about questions ahead of time", it helps to take into consideration your three main settings. clubs, work, school etc etc. once you narrow down what those main places are, you can whittle down some common questions to anticipate. in a new setting, before you're even comfortable in it, most of the convo starters will generally be contingent on the setting.
say you're a freshman in college breaking the ice with new people...well you guys already have common ground.
loans, majors, campus food, safety, profs...etc etc. and as you build that level of comfortability with a new person in a new location, you can eventually slide away from general conversation. if you find they match your vibe, great. if not, well there's plenty of other people.
Simu is such an inspiration, especially when it comes to social skills. Over the years I've come to relate to the personalities people like Will Smith and Simu showcase, but I'm always mesmerized by your videos and abilities to break down interactions to be of value for literally anyone! Thank you, Charlie and Ben.
A lot of love from a growing channel to the community as well.
I’ve only known Simu Liu through this video and I love him already
Just finished watching another video in this channel and was headed to bed cuz it's 1 am, but then I saw Simu Liu in the thumbnail of this vid's notification, and, I mean, how couldn't I.
Really enjoy it when you do these Character-study, observational videos :) Simu Liu is a fantastic choice!!
These videos are invaluable. Thank you for making them and for taking the time for great production like righting the numbers so it is easy to follow along the points.
RECAP OF WHAT I LEARNED:
1. Have a good entrance. Walk into a conversation with positive energy and strong body language
2. Maintain your confidence and always take up as much space as you can (don't force it tho)
3. Make sure to always come up with a unique answer to common questions.
4. Always compliment the person or the setting that you're in.
5. Make sure that you make the person feel like their humour is actually funny. You can do it by laughing as they say something.
6. Compliment your close friends or relatives. Thisll show that you have a great friend circle which also defines you as a person
Please make a charisma breakdown on Jack Harlow. His charisma and authenticity is worth noting in each of his interviews/most things that he appears in.
Yes, I was literally thinking about how an analysis of his charisma would be a great video.
Yes please do this
“Charisma is the intangible that makes people want to follow you, to be around you, to be influenced by you.” ~ Roger Dawson 💪🏻🚀
Finaallyy first impression video!!! was waiting for it
Thank you for this video, much appreciated!
These celebrity examples are great, but I always think of how easy it is to be charismatic when walking into a room, where you know people are already excited to see you (fans) and you are already well liked. This give the celebrity an instant boost of energy due to having that public approval before hand.
The key for me is to apply these skills and psyche myself into thinking the people I will interact with already feel positively about me, like the actors here making public appearances.
It’s really about how you view the outside voices. I really like Simu Liu but not from the very beginning. While his asian hero movie was launched back then, people in Asia were heavily criticizing him on how he looks. He’s definitely charming, but not to asian standards (not k-pop looking). People on the internet were insulting him so much you have no idea. But then he made a humor out of it. He twitted “am I ugly ? “ just to laugh jt off.
No one is going to be liked by all, but how we focus on the good situation instead of bad ones really effect on the outcome behaviors.
He is charismatic because he focuses on the positive part of his life experiences. (Not that we should ignore the negatives, but we shouldn’t dwell in it).
I remember how I used to be someone who often would have my arms out but now it's all back in crossed. Glad to know and will keep it in mind!
Top channel and Much needed advices! Thank you bro, keep up the good work!
Loving the vid! Would love to see a similar video about charisma for women and body language!
Let me be boring in peace! 😂
“You obviously don’t have to dance when you enter every room.”
*OOPS* 🕺
YES.
@@anotheryoutubeaccount5259 very authentic comment
Very helpful! Thank you and keep up the good work!
The quality of your videos is insane! Every single video is better and better!!!
I actually dance, every time I enter a room. The prisoners don't enjoy it, but it's hella amusing for the rest of the guards. 🤣
Officer I see
Simu Liu will ALWAYS get my attention! He’s a great actor and doesn’t hurt that he’s a stunning Asian man! I think his childhood ( I’ve read his book) and his difficult life in China then Canada made him stronger and spurred his rise to stardom. Whether he does comedy or action films he is honest and genuine.
You guys have the best educational content on the internet ❤️
Great video! I noticed that many of the points in this video were also mentioned in Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I've been reading it for a class and I think that it's a great book. It's very informative with many real world examples from both famous and powerful people to normal people like cashiers and waiters.
He is amazing, glad he's finally getting the recognition he deserves :))
I felt so happy with myself when I answer commonly asked questions in a funny way, but it rarely happens. One time, I was meeting my sister's boyfriend for the first time and I was like "Hey, I'm so-and-so's older sis" and he goes "what, another one?" (for context, I am from a family where there are eight children all born of the same two parents, and there are five girls). My response was, "Yeah, she keeps us in a closet and whenever she needs us, she pulls us out, puts a little key in our backs, and winds us up." He laughed and I felt amazing. Never considered making up answers to questions like that, though.
Hi Charisma. Keep up the good work. I subscribed for your informative videos 👍
This is great. This is also something that can help during a job interview. Thanks bro.
Is it just me or do your videos just get better and better!?
I love your videos they are so informative and I love the clips you show to get the ppint across. One thing: could you show more clips portraying women. I think its easier in a lot of instances for men to pull off certain tactics whereas a woman may come across as agressive/dismissive etc.
Please do a series specific to the remote workforce 👏🏻
Great tips! Thank you so much 😊
Very interesting stuff 👌🏿
I just love him 😍🥰🥰. When I first saw an interview with him he drew me right in. He is so charming and easy going. But let's be honest being so handsome is a factor too ☺️.
Thanks for sharing the great information keep up the great work 😊
Wondering why didn't I found this channel sooner! It's life changing!
He is awesome - no doubt, lots of great points. To me, 'that's a great question' sounds like throat-clearing or vamping while you fumble for a responsive answer. I think it's equally respectful and possibly more credible to take in the question, ruminate over it (BRIEFLY) and respond from the gut. [Just a thought, I am not an expert on these things]
This material really makes sense as most people don't have charisma and would love to have it. For a few people who really have charisma it is just how they are super in the moment and making feel good interactions continously with anyone anywhere. That can take a lifetime to get. I started at 12 years old asking pretty girls to dance at every opportunity at events and it really panned out. I was only looking for soul mate potential and seeing who things flowed. However it also worked in business situations at you can wing it almost everywhere. I would love to have the training that this CU provides as you can learn it fast instead of taking a lifetime.
I get laughs from people at WalMart to Subway and the liquor store, as Shakira's song went. "Whenever, whereever."
First, I ask if a person is comfortable with a handshake or a hug, and if not I absolutely understand. Instead I give them a BIG smile because I'm happy to see them anyway. Thanks for another great video! 💚
Did you do that before covid too?
This is awesome - learned alot
*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."*
The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤
Thanks Ahmet, I noticed you on Hamza's channel as well. I'm guessing you are on self-improvement?
@@toheeb07 yes
Bro I see you everywhere xD
Thanks I needed this reminder
" come in ONE ENERGY HIGHER than the average person"
Me; an introvert : oh god here goes my energy draining :D
Thanks for the tips
Preplanning interest
Appreciate you mane ✊
Hey Charlie, could u please make a breakdown of Daniel Harrison Hondo from TV Series SWAT
Would you considering doing a video on Graham Norton? I've noticed how comfortable he makes his guests feel and how well he manages an ever-shifting couch of personalities, two traits which I think are born out by how many of your clips come from his show.
We have :-). And you’re right, Graham is definitely charismatic
@@Charismaoncommand He is also definitely interested in the people he is interviewing. It isn't all about him. Michael Parkinson is another great example that people might not remember on British TV. He interviewed many famous people from around the world but got the best out of them by just being himself even though he was a very well paid TV personality at the time.
Thank you!
This is very informative
Do Dr Will Kirby. Big Brother 2 and 7. The show is all about persuasion.
if its not too much hassle it would be cool if you could make a video about how to have charisma through texting or mistakes we should avoid,like when texting new people or bosses or teachers esp since we've been in the pandemic and we talk alot online
Thanks for sharing
Gotta give you thumbs up on this one my friend!! Took some notes.. going to "ATTEMPT" to put them in my videos.. DMAX Motion sim
I’m currently Vice President for the Human Resources club at my college and I’m going to make sure some Charisma Command videos get shown at our club meetings. I want us to educate future HR professionals on how to be better leaders and this channel is a great way to start 💪
Bot
@@volumedealer2716I recall passing the CAPTCHA exam numerous times. Wbu? 😁
@@thefonzkiss Thanks so much for your feedback!! So glad you cared enough to type that 🙏
@@thefonzkiss Ya know, there’s something I was once told that I’ll never forget: “there’s always a chance that the person you’re talking to can be your future boss.” I suggest you remember that the next time you try to dictate someone else’s self worth. Hope you have a lovely day! 🥰
@@thefonzkiss You may have just ignored the one advice that could save your career. But oh well… can’t force a mule to drink water 🤷♀️
I just imagined the faces people would make when I dance in like that next monday on my job interview 😂😂😂😂
He's a undeniably fun and upbeat dude. Wishing him only the best things
He is an asian guy in Hollywood . The roles will dry up easily. Thats how Hollywood works 😅.
Thanks man
I do Tip 1 very often. It works, trust me! 💯💯💯
Thanks for saying that we don't have to dance in an entry and showing Jack Black's clip along to tell us how we would look.
You should totally make a video on aurora the singer. An absolute introvert charismatic queen!
Confindent will come by itself once you re success in ur specialty.. so work hard on your goal..
Simu Liu is on his way to being just as likable as Paul Rudd.
My boss did not appreciate my dancing entrance the other day...
Thank you
i will definetly watch this video again to recall all tips,
Me: switches school
Also me: enters dancing to the classroom
Everyone in the classroom: wtf
Love simu, he is down to earth and funny!
He isn't. I am British and have been interviewed by American for jobs and interviewed by American for jobs. They nearly always come across as totally over the top and false.
Great video thanks. I was surprised Tom Cruise wasn’ on it since there’s nobody more charismatic, positive and energetic than him when meeting people at least publicly.
Interesting. I'll try this dancing technique when walking into my next job interview
As much as I love this kind of videos, let's be real, some people cannot pull off this kind of vibe, by the way they look and other people treat them so they have to behave differently, or else MOST people will call them fake
It’s all energy. You become significantly more attractive with confidence. You have to like yourself b4 others will or you’ll never feel the benefits
Do these "First Impression" techniques work when it isn't technically a first impression (e.g. you're visiting family members who typically ignore you and that you haven't seen in about 2 years)? And does the getting bigger/more comfortable advice work for women (since we're often taught to be ladylike, sit nicely, and not take up too much room)?
Interested in if anyone answers the first part.
1. Try it out. It is your family, they cant run away :3
2. Sure, why not? Just don't overdo it and loose your feminity.
Smile a lot and tilt your head and ask a lot of open ended questions. It'll work out for you
They can work, but they have to harder work overcoming the previous impression. If you stick with the new "techniques", eventually people will notice you as changed - same way when you see someone and they appear different, e.g. because they were shy berore and are not now, they were depressed or sluggish and now seem more energetic, etc.
Absolutely! It’s never too late to make a new impression on people. Learning new techniques and applying them into your life is always great.
But remember to always try to be comfortable being yourself:)
I was delivering a package to an apartment complex and knowingly parked in the handicap spot since it was at the door and I was literally going to drop the package in the lobby, snap a picture, and bolt. I had put on my emergency lights just to insure anyone needing the spot would know I was coming right out. As soon as I started to take the picture of the package an older lady came up to me and said she was going to have to make a citizen arrest for parking illegally. This is the kind of situation I could easily had made it a bad situation by the way I responded. I instantly smiled at her, I loved her tenacity, and told her the story about about how just a few years prior I actually was handicapped. She was thrilled that I somehow recovered... I am not actually sure myself how I got better. But when I left both of us were very happy about our interaction. And I opened the parking spot back up for someone who needed it worse than I do.
Breakdown CHAEL SONNEN PLEASE🙏 HOW DOES ONE POUR CONFIDENCE OVER EVERY SITUATION SO MASTERFULLY
Next time I walk into a church, or the grocery store, or the bank, or when I have to go to court I'll have to do a Simu entrance so everyone will turn and say, "Ain't he a cool dude!!"
Me: enters the room shaking my hands and spinning around
Everyone: evacuates the room at once
Can you do a video on John Mayer? He’s so funny and charismatic. Everyone loves him!
Would love to see a video on Ali Plumb, the film interviewer for BBC Radio One that you show a clip of here, who manages to make so many interview-sick celebrities comfortable and real. How does he do it?
I don't want to be a naysayer, but all the charisma technics taught in this channel are for high energy people. This method works for some but not for everyone. Everyone should realize that you can be low energy person by nature and still be charismatic, just a charisma of a more subtle kind. Trying to dance around when you're by nature not very animated is not a death sentence if you want to learn being charismatic. I think that this channel needs to address that type of charisma as well, otherwise it's just for a niche group.
Check these ones out:
ruclips.net/video/W_TSvENWQDc/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/lIqSNhDTDUs/видео.html
04:36 Elevate the people around you. Toughest thing in the world right now, everyone looking to be superior.
Then join the military. There, you're specifically taught
"I succeed when WE succeed!"
If channels like this exist and keep improving our social skills, therapists finna be out a job!
Wow didn't know I did all this already until I saw this now 😮
Nice video, great example, I didn’t know of this actor since I don’t stay tapped into Marvel’s stuff.
Quick note, however, on your use of “false flattery”:
The term “flattery” already means excessive or insincere praise, given to further one’s own interest.” So to say “false flattery” may be somewhat redundant, you know? I think many people confuse flattery with sincere complimenting, but it’s not. Just a thought!
I’m trying to build up my confidence but I’m wondering something. Is this something people have to build up or is it something confident people are just doing because they feel confident on the inside? Like, are there people who are confident and doesn’t do these things? I’m confused on how to ACTUALLY get confident… because if I do these things I’ll just try to look confident, or will it boost my confidence in the inside over time? 🥺✨
No it won't change anything about you internally and that's exactly what's wrong with these type of videos. Everything should start from the inside first. I personally believe there is an epidemic going on of people convincing others they should feel insecure for being pleased with being anything other than what would usually be considered "charismatic". A lot of the insecurities we have are not even our own insecurities, they were forced on us.
I need to work on my dance entrance for my job interview next week
Whenever you're answering a question, don't say "unlike others" (i.e. 'Unlike others, I have been fascinated by books from a young age'). From my experience, it can make you look really pretentious or like a pick-me girl/boy. This is mainly just from my experience, and based on what I have seen, but it's a rule of thumb that I personally use, especially when writing something along the lines of an application essay. I loved this video!