I remember hearing somewhere that awkwardness is a contract. If one party is comfortable, they usually assuage the other party of any awkward feelings also.
@@specialunit0428 you faked it and they sense that it hurts you .if you just let go laugh and be playful about it they will love you, all that easy when you learn how to stay outa your head like comedians
If you just think things like “we’ll all die either way” or “this won’t matter in 5 years” or just don’t care about what anyone has to say. It’s easy once you train yourself to think in these ways
@@seifelicechetirispondo5254 I should give a disclaimer and admit that I live in the United States and it's easier to do that here because of the ultra self-entitlement and big egos that we have here. The pandemic really highlighted it very well.
I love throwing people off by being brutally honest, especially about myself! They have no comeback and it is DELICIOUS. The truth does NOT hurt - unless you've been deceiving yourself/others.
specifically brutally honest niceness about others is the best. straight up call someone cute or handsome to their face, unwarranted, and let the shock and joy ensure.
actually it does hurt, for others at least. It's great you can do it to yourself but be careful how you do it to others because it's really easy to hurt others and come across a jerk. try not to tease something about someone they cannot help or change in a few minutes
Is what you are saying to them going to help them better themselves and enlighten them, or temporarily lift your own mood and make you feel superior? Your intentions matter as much as being honest does. The end result matters too.
@@BadWolfSilence Valid point. Hmm... I certainly don't believe my words would have any ill effects beyond momentary confusion about why this crazy chick is so hard to bully. Ideally the person realizes they can't always predict how someone will respond, and they aren't going to get the superiority high they were looking for...and perhaps in the future will consider not immediately blurting out whatever bubbles up in their brain. In a small way, that would help improve their life..
Be careful about how you do it though. As he said, making it into a joke works better than being a Debbie downer who unloads all her problems/insecurities onto others.
Yeah, i think it's because he doesn't really seem like a "super human" if you know what i mean. Usually when i see famous celebrities they seem like the most charming, sexy, funny, confident people in the world
*“You’ll watch an entire Netflix series even when the first episodes are slow just because someone told you that ‘it gets better’, but what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?”* Love from a small RUclipsr💙
I really care about you all! Many people think that the way to get to heaven is by being just a “good” person, but scripture tells us that no one is good but God! So you how do we get to heaven then... scripture like John 3:16 tells us by believing in Jesus... that He loves is our Lord and Savior, we accept that Jesus payed our fine for our sin in full on the cross! God bless you all! Have a wonderful day!
Self-deprecating jokes to an extreme just ruins the mood. My dad is overweight and he always makes jokes of how fat he is (when literally no one is paying attention to that) and it just makes everyone awkward; and he doesn't just stop but keeps going.
It sounds like your dad specifically *isn't* doing what they describe in this video. I'm just guessing, but based on your comment it kind of seems like your dad *IS* insecure about his weight, but he's just trying to head off the jokes that he expects to get from other people by making them himself first, even when the other people he's with had no intention of making those jokes at all. I used to do something similar, not about my weight, but about other aspects of my appearance that I used to be more insecure about, and it took me a while to even understand what I was doing and why, before I could try to move past it.
that's true, being overly self-conscious , negative and putting it out there without doing anything to better self-esteem just pushes people away and honestly I don't blame them. I'm no fun anyway lmao
I've always found self-deprecating jokes to be a fine line and true masters at it know how to walk it with the perfect balance. I think it's mainly about having the ability to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously when making a mistake or looking like a fool - and others will laugh with you (rather than at you) and you'll feel more authentic and relatable. But yes, there is such a thing as being overly self-deprecating to an extreme that becomes no longer funny and more awkward and pathetic than anything. It's hard to really learn that balance but a lot of the better comedians seem to do this naturally, and I'm trying to get better at it myself.
*5 things to quit for all people:* 1. Caring about what others think 2. Not believing in yourself 3. Not prioritizing your health 4. Wasting your precious time 5. Chasing meaningless relationships For those who are in the rush of changing their lives :-)
"When you build the habit of seeing the good in other people, you'll have an easier time seeing the good in yourself." This resonates with me and I will always remember it.
yeah but we need to show that we are fine with our insecurities (and actually mean it in our hearts), so when they attack us we can simply attack them back by being confident and like “soo whats wrong with that?? lmao”
I will rewatch this over and over again in the hopes that I come out of my crippling shell of muteness and isolated detachment from the world. Thank you.
Growing up and going through different experiences also made me care less of what people think. I also often say to myself "I probably won't even see these people anymore in my life" (if it's something embarrassing happening to me in public). This video is great
Right. And even if you do, they probably won't remember you and your embarrasment. People are focused on themselves much more on their surroundings. Like 1 guy in a video said: "if you are farther than their hands you don't exist, and if you get in their sight you are blurry"
But you are perfect, keep your expectations of other people ankle height, people are never gonna do things the way you do them, and dont people please, and do something for someone everyday even if you don't like them, it closes the whole in you......if you was perfect you'd be boring.....
@@raulbisping9880 OH so wonderful words! really. I can change something, but I don't know then if I will be truly myself and live with authenticity.. I can try to not change anything, as my imperfections are harmless anyway, but I feel like my life will be miserable and lonely. I will try to live by those beautiful words you said hoping they can become my new mindset😊
@@souhaila5879 When you change something in you then you become this new thing and the past you is no longer you. Your authenticity is only lacking when you pretend you have changed.
The bad way to do it is to make mean, overt, or constant jokes about things you're actually insecure about in yourself. It makes people super uncomfortable. It stems from the mindset that if you get there first, other people won't be able to hurt you. You present yourself as an ally in their making fun of you before they even start doing that, and in that way you think you're reclaiming control over it. But the thing is, people - especially nice people you actually want to get close to - actually DON'T want to make fun of you, are NOT thinking the mean things you're thinking about yourself, and in fact do NOT want to be allied in that. So it kind of presumes the worst about them, not about you. You're putting them in an unpleasant position, they might feel obliged to laugh at things just because you're saying them about yourself, but because it's obvious you're insecure about it (because you're being mean, overeager, or ironic), they might feel obliged to reassure or compliment you or avoid hurting you, and in general it's just super awkward and uncomfortable and counter-productive. Bottom line: vast majority of people are nice, and a great deal nicer than you are to yourself. Give them a chance to be that.
Exactly. Even if that might appear on the surface to be what is being described in this video, it's totally different because it comes from a place of deep insecurity rather than confidence.
I call it RISE (Reversed-Image Spotlight Effect) Basically where you remind yourself that everyone is so focused on themselves that no one is focused on you
Living in a very judgemental environment can really play on your mind but turns out they are the ones who are insecure. Colleagues often “rate” me by the most obscure of things. When one found out what car I drove, he immediately went on a 5 min monologue of how unexpected it was of me to drive a basic car as if it was wrong of me to be seen in such a thing. When I gave my colleagues a lift and drove safely, they again commented on how slow I am, when they were the ones who were late for the appointment making me wait for an extra 15 mins. Judgemental snobs are everywhere because they need to feel superior over others. Laying a marker on you is their way of giving themselves self-worth to boost self esteem.
@@Juanico259 They didn’t complain exactly, it was more of a condescending tone of undermining my capability as a colleague. In their point of view, I was “assigned” to be the driver so they feel no need to show any gratitude. They were my superiors in a very hierarchical office culture so there was nothing I could do except to take it as it is.
I love how this is about accepting yourself rather than changing who you are. I walk too fast and move to fast most times and I don't even know I'm doing it
All u gotta do is accept and welcome the feelings of embarrassment and feel comfortable with it. Honestly its just an emotion nothing is going to happen its just ur reaction to it.
I always tell the truth--not only has that given me confidence, it shows me who my real friends are; those who aren't offended that I don't agree with them.
For the complimenting thing I made it a point to have a positive thought about every stranger I see when I'm outside or at a party. It makes me feel happy and I think it makes me kinder and more uplifting to others too.
Nice to see someone succeed that you actually want to succeed. Good on Pete for using his troubles to build up what's around him...and getting rewarded for it.
One thing that have made me better with my social skills, is this rule. People actually don’t care about us. This very thought is a momentum for me to go in front of a crowd and dance. If you aren’t confident. All you gotta do is, fake it till you make it.
Great video. I love the tip about answering questions honestly where most people would lie. So simple yet so effective. I think you guys should do a breakdown on Jay-Z, he is an extremely charismatic, witty, and intelligent person. I feel like you guys would kill it. Thanks for all that you do!
How to stop caring what other people think of you 1. Embrace that you are not good at everything Mindset: Nothing is inherently embarrassing 2. Answer questions honestly in situations where most people lie to get confidence Don't force your insecurities in conversation just be honest when it comes up Tip: When you are talking about something you are potentially insecure about.Use a nonchalant or casual tone of voice 3. Harness your insecurities with self deprecating jokes Tip:Use specificity Key: self amusement Start with jokes that you are less insecure about 4. Raise up people around yo u with compliments Tip:start by when that person is not around
My dad said he was at a funeral once and realised that everyone was saying all these eulogies praising the person who had died, and the person who had died would never have guessed people thought this about them. His motto is "Don't wait till someone's dead to say nice things about them." I have tried to follow this rule.
I had a very charismatic dad… He was only in my life for a short time before he died at a young 51 years. From a very young age I naturally picked up his mannerisms timing etc. I enjoy making people laugh and I enjoy making people feel good-It’s actually a goal for me and has been for most of my 66 years. It’s always disappointing to me when people hold back compliments or appreciation for someone. Being verbally generous is the easiest thing on the planet to do for crying out loud! 🤦♀️ If you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable you’re probably focused too much on yourself… take the focus off yourself and put it on someone else in a positive way and you’ll find out you’re at ease. People always remember how you made them feel. These are all great tips. Well done!👍🏻
Let me say you are an INSPIRATION!!! I lost my job right before the pandemic. Since then, I’ve started a RUclips Channel on Money…and it is GROWING! Thanks for all of your great content, and to everyone else…NEVER GIVE UP!!!
I always try to give at least one genuine compliment to a stranger per day. Most of the time, their whole face lights up. If everybody did this I think people would be a lot happier :)
Although I appreciate all the contents here from this channel and though I wholeheartedly agree with the first rule:Embrace that you are not good at everything, whenever I watch a video about confidence from this channel I feel like there's something missing. The videos keep saying things like make jokes about your insecurities, make praises for other people and etc, while these instructions are easy to follow and intuitive, from my experience these are just beating around the bushes. From my perspective, the one thing that is hard to practice, abstract and ambiguous yet something that is at the heart of the problem is that we just don't love ourselves. This is really hard if you're not attractive, which is true in my case but after I started seeing other unattractive people(usually comedians like Ken Jeong) living just ok like other people, the thought that maybe living like this isn't too bad had a great impact on me.
when i came across this channel, i instantly subscribed because it made me realize that i can't just watch videos and expect to become confident overnight. i have to put in the work and make it happen. the truth is there will be times where you will crash and burn, but that's just part of it. at the end, you'll look back and see that those times that you failed were the ones that really made you the person you are today. thank you! and have a awesome day everyone!!☺😁
WOW!!! This is exactly the issue that I've been dealing for a long long time!!! I've already proved myself that this method works and this video is just sealed the deal!!!!! 😊😊😊 Thank you so much guys!!!! I've been watching your videos also for a long time and they have been very helpful to me!!!! I must say that thanks to your videos, I feel a lot better with myself!!!!! You made my life better!!!!! So I really thank you guys from the bottom of my heart!!!!! You Are BIGGER than LIFE!!!!! God bless you!!!!!!
I use to struggle with being stiff in most social situations and at first the laughing method was really painful for me. I was deeply insecure, and while I had other things I had to figure out internally, letting myself laugh when other people joke about things I was sensitive about has gone a long way in helping me unwind and be chill I social situations. Thank you for these videos, they are helping me so much!
One other thing that Pete does well, is he never betrays his true emotions (for the most part). He always has that slight smile and slightly glazed look that makes him seem like he’s always chilled (And yes, I know what he does in his spare time). Being able to portray yourself like you’re chill and in a good mood when around around people, will automatically make you more approachable and make people more comfortable around you.
I clicked on this video out of curiosity and this is the first year I have made many friends. I took social traits such as being very honest, genuine, and complementary towards other people from people i really liked talking to. Everything this guy has said in this video is true
- Get your self worth just from being you, don't let it be dependent on circumstances or others opinions. - Get to know yourself and accept everything that you are. Then learn to love that. - Understand that no one TRULY knows you. Only you know yourself fully, so value your opinion of yourself above all others. - Catch yourself worrying about others opinions, reframe those thoughts, tell yourself why they're invalid and then validate yourself. - Figure out where your insecurities come from and do the past trauma work to let them go.
This video is exactly what I needed! I live in a foreign country and the only people I know are my classmates who I consider to be my family here. We've been close for more than 3 years and I trusted them so much. Then one friend started to become passive-aggressive with me and it affected me a lot. I was being abused the whole time without realising it and when I finally tried to defend myself they all turned against me. I tried to talk to her and she told me that she never loved and she only pretended to. I'm still in shock and sad because I really loved her and thought she did too, but I guess that's how life goes, we just learn things from our experiences..
This guy is definitely a relationship guru and I want to thank you for helping people like me. in the past I'm trying to relate to you and get better info so thank you for what you doing keep it up and I hope to gain more knowledge from you
I love when celebrities, and people in general are super vulnerable because it makes me feel like its not a weakness to be vulnerable. If anything its a strength
@@nha4318 people care WAY less about you than you think, no offense. 😅 They won't remember what you did next week, let alone next month, so do what you want! A thought about you in their head means nothing. The guy that thinks you're unattractive? He's more unattractive than you. The person who judges you for not having a spotless home? Is likely judging you from a cluttered mess. You wouldn't take financial advice from broke people, so why do you care what a bunch of random people with their own problems think?
I swear to God that as I am watching the vid, i got a feeling of being transformed into another character! Man! This is extremely powerful! As the old saying goes : and of speech speech of magic!
This is so good I'm literally going to rewatch it right now for a second time, right after finishing it :) This is the video I needed, this is why I love Pete so much. I'm terrible at not caring about what others think and I really want to get better at it. :) Thank you for making this :)
Let me quickly write this, I've seen hundreds of videos because I terribly suffer from insecurities. And no video actually is there that I found necessarily helpful. But, for some reason, this video straight goes to my head, probably because of Pete Davidson. So, thank you.
Can you do a video on Kevin O’Leary? When you watch older videos of him, he’s awkward and quiet, but when you watch him on his vlogs/shark tank he’s incredibly captivating and one of the best story tellers imo. I’d love to see a breakdown on how he is able to captivate an audience, whatever it be about something as mundane as talking about his watch collection or as exciting as discussing his first job, he is able to make it entrancing to watch regardless of the subject matter. I would love to see a breakdown of him, thank you
My motto is rejection from a woman can be a way God saving you from a headache you don't need. The woman that's meant for you won't reject you. Give her a compliment and keep on moving.
That’s very kind of you.. , personally I don’t believe in a right women due to me being red pilled & researching in female biology , never the less i %100 agree the almighty will do what’s best for you..
he is amazing I’m only a minute into the video and I’m thinking about the fact that he isn’t scrolling or shopping on social media and that will boost confidence in itself. I’m sure that’ll be mentioned later but it’s real
I really needed this. thanks to you and Pete im gonna start practising these methods so I can finally have a proper social interactions with others and peace in my mind
An asthma attack is different from just poor performance and being a public figure is not like being an ordinary person but these are helpful nuggets. The take home is to work on not looking embarrassed or affected by negativity.
Resilient a book by Rick Hanson could also help for self esteem by showing you how to be on your own side, then you can be fully present for others. Charlie and Ben you're wonderful too. Thanks for helping me be better and more confident at being social. ❤
I have always really struggled with giving compliments even if I really wanted to say it. Definitely something I am still working on but it's a great tool and just a really nice thing to do.
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
i haven't really cared about what people think of me for a while, and growing up in this society and having this mindset while still being in high school makes dealing with school so much easier, since i am still able to make friends who i can actually like to talk to, since they know i dont care about what they think of me.
Pete Davidson is one of the most genuine personalities in the entertainment industry. He doesn't do anything but be himself and that's what people are attracted to. We should all strive to be who we are and not what we think people want us to be. I love the way he turns his flaws into strengths and not take life so serious.
I've actually been being honest in thus way for a while and for the first time ever I've been making people laugh. I've never been funny before and it really does help.
I care too much what others think of me even though i know i’m better than them. I think it’s called social phobia. However, to complete my responsibilites, I have to step out of my comfort zone and face those people. I am proud of myself for this. But I wish I could be more reckless and cheeky…
this one time at school i was working with some people from other classes. i didnt know any of them. at some point i fell but i got up laughed it off and continued [[akwardly in my opinion]] after we were done and got evaluaded it got pointed out and the teacher said she was impressed. i was genually taken aback by it but it does makeyou realise how much impact laughing it off and just keep going has.
We all want to be perfect and try to achive that, but at the end we know that perfection is impossible to achive and we feel bad or ashamed, the moment we'll start to be happy for what we have and where we are, is when we'll find peace. Unfortunatly i still can't accept myself but i hope one day i will
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
"nothing is inherently embarrassing." yes, this is the mindset I want to adopt.
This! Powerful mondset. Glad I picked it up over the past two years my life is so different
yeah, awkwardness usually comes from not knowing what to do in a situation or feeling too vulnerable.
You will be unstoppable.
I remember hearing somewhere that awkwardness is a contract. If one party is comfortable, they usually assuage the other party of any awkward feelings also.
JUST DO IT! 😁😁😁👍👍👍
My favorite drill sgt told us, "Don't be a victim. Be amazing, privates."
"Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you."
Thanks Tyrion.
Couldn't agree more.
I wore my embarrassment like armour and people never stopped bullying me over it :(
@@specialunit0428 it's not about being bullied about it it's about not caring if you're being bullied about it
@@specialunit0428 you faked it and they sense that it hurts you .if you just let go laugh and be playful about it they will love you, all that easy when you learn how to stay outa your head like comedians
Not caring what people think is one of the quickest ways to find inner peace and less stress.
If you just think things like “we’ll all die either way” or “this won’t matter in 5 years” or just don’t care about what anyone has to say. It’s easy once you train yourself to think in these ways
@@Dylan-bj4fx Same, I'm really finding my footing in this although it is depressing sometimes to think were basically nothing.
True.
I want to get started how do I do that?
Pete could be a good rapper tho. He has the look & voice. Someone else can write his lyrics as Drake has shown.
It wasn't hard when I realized how deeply flawed all people are.
how did you do?
@@seifelicechetirispondo5254 I basically just started hating people. I don't care what people think because I'm too busy judging them.
@@seifelicechetirispondo5254 I should give a disclaimer and admit that I live in the United States and it's easier to do that here because of the ultra self-entitlement and big egos that we have here. The pandemic really highlighted it very well.
@@crystalfullerton3908 that seems unhealthy
@@Bilbus7 It seems Unhealthy But Something Is better than Nothing
I love throwing people off by being brutally honest, especially about myself! They have no comeback and it is DELICIOUS. The truth does NOT hurt - unless you've been deceiving yourself/others.
specifically brutally honest niceness about others is the best. straight up call someone cute or handsome to their face, unwarranted, and let the shock and joy ensure.
actually it does hurt, for others at least. It's great you can do it to yourself but be careful how you do it to others because it's really easy to hurt others and come across a jerk. try not to tease something about someone they cannot help or change in a few minutes
Is what you are saying to them going to help them better themselves and enlighten them, or temporarily lift your own mood and make you feel superior? Your intentions matter as much as being honest does. The end result matters too.
@@BadWolfSilence Valid point. Hmm... I certainly don't believe my words would have any ill effects beyond momentary confusion about why this crazy chick is so hard to bully. Ideally the person realizes they can't always predict how someone will respond, and they aren't going to get the superiority high they were looking for...and perhaps in the future will consider not immediately blurting out whatever bubbles up in their brain. In a small way, that would help improve their life..
Be careful about how you do it though. As he said, making it into a joke works better than being a Debbie downer who unloads all her problems/insecurities onto others.
*"kim and kanye, the cutest couple ever" LMAO THAT DIDN'T AGE VERY WELL DID IT PETE*
lol I was looking for that comment hahha
😂😂😂
Daaaamn I just saw that and looked for the comments too lol
As soon as he said I looked down and saw your comment. 🤣 my thoughts exactly
My exact thoughts lol
He is memorable and incredibly attractive in weird way.. more relatable than other celebrity. I love him.
I like him too😹 he is attractive
Yeah, i think it's because he doesn't really seem like a "super human" if you know what i mean. Usually when i see famous celebrities they seem like the most charming, sexy, funny, confident people in the world
yah love him
I don't think he's ugly either, idg why people think he is?
@@LiveAtEs I don't see anything below average @.@
*“You’ll watch an entire Netflix series even when the first episodes are slow just because someone told you that ‘it gets better’, but what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?”*
Love from a small RUclipsr💙
Underrated comment
I really care about you all! Many people think that the way to get to heaven is by being just a “good” person, but scripture tells us that no one is good but God! So you how do we get to heaven then... scripture like John 3:16 tells us by believing in Jesus... that He loves is our Lord and Savior, we accept that Jesus payed our fine for our sin in full on the cross! God bless you all! Have a wonderful day!
Because your past is either cringe-worthy or embarrassing. It is incredibly hard to live a good life without thinking about your past in comparison.
Clever way (ok, not really) of sliding into this channel's comments to plug your own channel. Shoo, now!
one of the best comments here
Self-deprecating jokes to an extreme just ruins the mood.
My dad is overweight and he always makes jokes of how fat he is (when literally no one is paying attention to that) and it just makes everyone awkward; and he doesn't just stop but keeps going.
It sounds like your dad specifically *isn't* doing what they describe in this video. I'm just guessing, but based on your comment it kind of seems like your dad *IS* insecure about his weight, but he's just trying to head off the jokes that he expects to get from other people by making them himself first, even when the other people he's with had no intention of making those jokes at all.
I used to do something similar, not about my weight, but about other aspects of my appearance that I used to be more insecure about, and it took me a while to even understand what I was doing and why, before I could try to move past it.
Sounds uncalibrated. He isn't reading the room.
Its good only in small doses, too much and people wont respect you, I mean why would they? when even you wouldnt respect yourself
that's true, being overly self-conscious , negative and putting it out there without doing anything to better self-esteem just pushes people away and honestly I don't blame them. I'm no fun anyway
lmao
I've always found self-deprecating jokes to be a fine line and true masters at it know how to walk it with the perfect balance. I think it's mainly about having the ability to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously when making a mistake or looking like a fool - and others will laugh with you (rather than at you) and you'll feel more authentic and relatable. But yes, there is such a thing as being overly self-deprecating to an extreme that becomes no longer funny and more awkward and pathetic than anything. It's hard to really learn that balance but a lot of the better comedians seem to do this naturally, and I'm trying to get better at it myself.
“We all love ourselves more than other
people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”
- Marcus
Aurelius
*5 things to quit for all people:*
1. Caring about what others think
2. Not believing in yourself
3. Not prioritizing your health
4. Wasting your precious time
5. Chasing meaningless relationships
For those who are in the rush of changing their lives :-)
Thank for this :)
Thank you. I wish EVERY video would give a synopsis to their audience. Bravo for your efforts. Gregg Oreo long Beach Ca
this just made me realize how many people are blind to facts. . . . you just opened my eyes. thank you.
There is no such thing as time; time is a compound word:ti+me, or you+me; time is also Timmy from south park;
So much hidden from ewe "huemans";
1:32 Kevin Hart's reaction is so genuine here, that it brought a tear to my eye. Love this!!
I think he must have felt a bit guilty because Pete's attack was an allergic reaction to the family's dog
@@Mariquillalapantorrilluda i'd feel guilty either way, though it's no one's fault i wouldn't want anyone getting hurt on my show
"When you build the habit of seeing the good in other people, you'll have an easier time seeing the good in yourself." This resonates with me and I will always remember it.
I learned quite by accident that recognizing, embracing, and being able to make fun of your flaws and insecurities gives you power over them... :)
yeah but we need to show that we are fine with our insecurities (and actually mean it in our hearts), so when they attack us we can simply attack them back by being confident and like “soo whats wrong with that?? lmao”
@@tornedsky 100%. It needs to be authentic... :)
My mother was telling "what would people say" so often, I started turning her words from my head
Same over here but yunno...that’s just how they grew up- for me stoping putting so much weight on mere words helped
same. both parents, all my childhood
I will rewatch this over and over again in the hopes that I come out of my crippling shell of muteness and isolated detachment from the world. Thank you.
Same, man, same.
You got this
As a fellow BPD, I always appreciate seeing Pete being himself and being successful.
wasn't he bipolar and not borderline?
@@ViktorDelevski he was diagnosed with BPD. He talks about it in a few interviews on here. They're worth checking out. He's a strong dude.
One video suggestion I would like to request is how to get over, competing with everyone.
Yess!!
Dont compete.... just do your best
@@user-uf6xl6ds3m That is really hard to do in my country
Just don't compete!!!
Don’t compete with other people, compete against yourself from yesterday
"there's a difference between Flattery and praise; one is frowned upon the other is not, one is sincere and the other is not"
I'm sure the narrator watches every show with a notebook.
😂😂😂
Growing up and going through different experiences also made me care less of what people think. I also often say to myself "I probably won't even see these people anymore in my life" (if it's something embarrassing happening to me in public). This video is great
Right. And even if you do, they probably won't remember you and your embarrasment. People are focused on themselves much more on their surroundings. Like 1 guy in a video said: "if you are farther than their hands you don't exist, and if you get in their sight you are blurry"
it's so hard for a perfectionist like myself to accept my imperfections so fully
But you are perfect, keep your expectations of other people ankle height, people are never gonna do things the way you do them, and dont people please, and do something for someone everyday even if you don't like them, it closes the whole in you......if you was perfect you'd be boring.....
@@raulbisping9880 OH so wonderful words! really.
I can change something, but I don't know then if I will be truly myself and live with authenticity.. I can try to not change anything, as my imperfections are harmless anyway, but I feel like my life will be miserable and lonely.
I will try to live by those beautiful words you said hoping they can become my new mindset😊
@@souhaila5879 When you change something in you then you become this new thing and the past you is no longer you. Your authenticity is only lacking when you pretend you have changed.
Often times, perfectionism is thinly-veiled fear of rejection or failure.
@@STREEEEEET it's productive to see things from this angle, I hope I have the courage to change. Thank you
The bad way to do it is to make mean, overt, or constant jokes about things you're actually insecure about in yourself. It makes people super uncomfortable. It stems from the mindset that if you get there first, other people won't be able to hurt you. You present yourself as an ally in their making fun of you before they even start doing that, and in that way you think you're reclaiming control over it. But the thing is, people - especially nice people you actually want to get close to - actually DON'T want to make fun of you, are NOT thinking the mean things you're thinking about yourself, and in fact do NOT want to be allied in that. So it kind of presumes the worst about them, not about you. You're putting them in an unpleasant position, they might feel obliged to laugh at things just because you're saying them about yourself, but because it's obvious you're insecure about it (because you're being mean, overeager, or ironic), they might feel obliged to reassure or compliment you or avoid hurting you, and in general it's just super awkward and uncomfortable and counter-productive.
Bottom line: vast majority of people are nice, and a great deal nicer than you are to yourself. Give them a chance to be that.
Exactly. Even if that might appear on the surface to be what is being described in this video, it's totally different because it comes from a place of deep insecurity rather than confidence.
Wow I love this comment you explained it perfectly👏
Thank you for naming this. I actually do this and I didn't realise, so this was really helpful.
That's actually a very interesting way of looking at this
Very well put!
I already knew that Pete was funny, layback and kind. Now, I know that’s genuinely who he is.
Pete is a vibe mate💯
He mocked a veteran
Kind? You don’t know the guy lol
@@DesignzRUs1 I literally don’t know the guy, like never heard of the guy. what’d he do?
I call it RISE (Reversed-Image Spotlight Effect)
Basically where you remind yourself that everyone is so focused on themselves that no one is focused on you
Living in a very judgemental environment can really play on your mind but turns out they are the ones who are insecure.
Colleagues often “rate” me by the most obscure of things. When one found out what car I drove, he immediately went on a 5 min monologue of how unexpected it was of me to drive a basic car as if it was wrong of me to be seen in such a thing. When I gave my colleagues a lift and drove safely, they again commented on how slow I am, when they were the ones who were late for the appointment making me wait for an extra 15 mins.
Judgemental snobs are everywhere because they need to feel superior over others. Laying a marker on you is their way of giving themselves self-worth to boost self esteem.
The best thing it to cut out such people from your life. (ofc if it is possible)
You game them a lift and they still complain? No words.
@@cranter7289 I eventually did. That’s the good thing about work place environments. You can exit at your own free will.
@@Juanico259 They didn’t complain exactly, it was more of a condescending tone of undermining my capability as a colleague. In their point of view, I was “assigned” to be the driver so they feel no need to show any gratitude. They were my superiors in a very hierarchical office culture so there was nothing I could do except to take it as it is.
I love how this is about accepting yourself rather than changing who you are. I walk too fast and move to fast most times and I don't even know I'm doing it
All u gotta do is accept and welcome the feelings of embarrassment and feel comfortable with it. Honestly its just an emotion nothing is going to happen its just ur reaction to it.
I always tell the truth--not only has that given me confidence, it shows me who my real friends are; those who aren't offended that I don't agree with them.
For the complimenting thing I made it a point to have a positive thought about every stranger I see when I'm outside or at a party. It makes me feel happy and I think it makes me kinder and more uplifting to others too.
"Never forget who you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you."
"Ah... I like living."
Nice to see someone succeed that you actually want to succeed. Good on Pete for using his troubles to build up what's around him...and getting rewarded for it.
One thing that have made me better with my social skills, is this rule. People actually don’t care about us. This very thought is a momentum for me to go in front of a crowd and dance. If you aren’t confident. All you gotta do is, fake it till you make it.
Great video. I love the tip about answering questions honestly where most people would lie. So simple yet so effective. I think you guys should do a breakdown on Jay-Z, he is an extremely charismatic, witty, and intelligent person. I feel like you guys would kill it. Thanks for all that you do!
How to stop caring what other people think of you
1. Embrace that you are not good at everything
Mindset:
Nothing is inherently embarrassing
2. Answer questions honestly in situations where most people lie to get confidence
Don't force your insecurities in conversation just be honest when it comes up
Tip:
When you are talking about something you are potentially insecure about.Use a nonchalant or casual tone of voice
3. Harness your insecurities with self deprecating jokes
Tip:Use specificity
Key: self amusement
Start with jokes that you are less insecure about
4. Raise up people around yo u with compliments
Tip:start by when that person is not around
I love how so many of these videos are just encouraging people to be honest and live a life you can feel comfortable being honest about.
The six pillars of self esteem is a great book. Highly recommend it to anyone!
The key is: be happy and witty all the time. Every single person on these videos is laughting
My dad said he was at a funeral once and realised that everyone was saying all these eulogies praising the person who had died, and the person who had died would never have guessed people thought this about them. His motto is "Don't wait till someone's dead to say nice things about them." I have tried to follow this rule.
I had a very charismatic dad… He was only in my life for a short time before he died at a young 51 years. From a very young age I naturally picked up his mannerisms timing etc. I enjoy making people laugh and I enjoy making people feel good-It’s actually a goal for me and has been for most of my 66 years. It’s always disappointing to me when people hold back compliments or appreciation for someone. Being verbally generous is the easiest thing on the planet to do for crying out loud! 🤦♀️ If you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable you’re probably focused too much on yourself… take the focus off yourself and put it on someone else in a positive way and you’ll find out you’re at ease. People always remember how you made them feel. These are all great tips. Well done!👍🏻
Let me say you are an INSPIRATION!!! I lost my job right before the pandemic. Since then, I’ve started a RUclips Channel on Money…and it is GROWING! Thanks for all of your great content, and to everyone else…NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Good luck!
@@hehhehdummy Thank you!!!
I always try to give at least one genuine compliment to a stranger per day. Most of the time, their whole face lights up. If everybody did this I think people would be a lot happier :)
Although I appreciate all the contents here from this channel and though I wholeheartedly agree with the first rule:Embrace that you are not good at everything, whenever I watch a video about confidence from this channel I feel like there's something missing. The videos keep saying things like make jokes about your insecurities, make praises for other people and etc, while these instructions are easy to follow and intuitive, from my experience these are just beating around the bushes. From my perspective, the one thing that is hard to practice, abstract and ambiguous yet something that is at the heart of the problem is that we just don't love ourselves. This is really hard if you're not attractive, which is true in my case but after I started seeing other unattractive people(usually comedians like Ken Jeong) living just ok like other people, the thought that maybe living like this isn't too bad had a great impact on me.
when i came across this channel, i instantly subscribed because it made me realize that i can't just watch videos and expect to become confident overnight. i have to put in the work and make it happen. the truth is there will be times where you will crash and burn, but that's just part of it. at the end, you'll look back and see that those times that you failed were the ones that really made you the person you are today. thank you! and have a awesome day everyone!!☺😁
WOW!!! This is exactly the issue that I've been dealing for a long long time!!! I've already proved myself that this method works and this video is just sealed the deal!!!!! 😊😊😊 Thank you so much guys!!!! I've been watching your videos also for a long time and they have been very helpful to me!!!! I must say that thanks to your videos, I feel a lot better with myself!!!!! You made my life better!!!!! So I really thank you guys from the bottom of my heart!!!!! You Are BIGGER than LIFE!!!!! God bless you!!!!!!
I use to struggle with being stiff in most social situations and at first the laughing method was really painful for me. I was deeply insecure, and while I had other things I had to figure out internally, letting myself laugh when other people joke about things I was sensitive about has gone a long way in helping me unwind and be chill I social situations. Thank you for these videos, they are helping me so much!
One other thing that Pete does well, is he never betrays his true emotions (for the most part). He always has that slight smile and slightly glazed look that makes him seem like he’s always chilled (And yes, I know what he does in his spare time). Being able to portray yourself like you’re chill and in a good mood when around around people, will automatically make you more approachable and make people more comfortable around you.
I clicked on this video out of curiosity and this is the first year I have made many friends. I took social traits such as being very honest, genuine, and complementary towards other people from people i really liked talking to. Everything this guy has said in this video is true
- Get your self worth just from being you, don't let it be dependent on circumstances or others opinions.
- Get to know yourself and accept everything that you are. Then learn to love that.
- Understand that no one TRULY knows you. Only you know yourself fully, so value your opinion of yourself above all others.
- Catch yourself worrying about others opinions, reframe those thoughts, tell yourself why they're invalid and then validate yourself.
- Figure out where your insecurities come from and do the past trauma work to let them go.
"However you feel, whatever you think, no matter what you say or do, you always deserve more love, not less." ~ Matt Kahn
This video is exactly what I needed! I live in a foreign country and the only people I know are my classmates who I consider to be my family here. We've been close for more than 3 years and I trusted them so much. Then one friend started to become passive-aggressive with me and it affected me a lot. I was being abused the whole time without realising it and when I finally tried to defend myself they all turned against me. I tried to talk to her and she told me that she never loved and she only pretended to. I'm still in shock and sad because I really loved her and thought she did too, but I guess that's how life goes, we just learn things from our experiences..
So sad. But you are still a Gem. With or without her.
This guy is definitely a relationship guru and I want to thank you for helping people like me. in the past I'm trying to relate to you and get better info so thank you for what you doing keep it up and I hope to gain more knowledge from you
Embrace the truth. Even the bad parts about yourself. The truth shall set you free
I’m going to get to see him Tuesday for a zoom meet and greet for my school. (:
Lucky!
@@mattechrome " yo pete I just saw someone on RUclips exposing how you escape from self harm
I love when celebrities, and people in general are super vulnerable because it makes me feel like its not a weakness to be vulnerable. If anything its a strength
I reached this point about 10 years ago and it is life changing.
Any advices? Cause I’m kind of tired of always caring about what others think and it’s kind of making me tired and stressed
@@nha4318 people care WAY less about you than you think, no offense. 😅 They won't remember what you did next week, let alone next month, so do what you want! A thought about you in their head means nothing. The guy that thinks you're unattractive? He's more unattractive than you. The person who judges you for not having a spotless home? Is likely judging you from a cluttered mess. You wouldn't take financial advice from broke people, so why do you care what a bunch of random people with their own problems think?
I swear to God that as I am watching the vid, i got a feeling of being transformed into another character! Man! This is extremely powerful! As the old saying goes : and of speech speech of magic!
This is so good I'm literally going to rewatch it right now for a second time, right after finishing it :) This is the video I needed, this is why I love Pete so much. I'm terrible at not caring about what others think and I really want to get better at it. :) Thank you for making this :)
I can’t believe I’m only just now discovering this channel! I see some great personality improvements coming soon lol
It’s still annoying that society pressures us into becoming a clown to prevent becoming a joke. 🤷♀️
@Victoria It can feel like a curse to think the way that I do
*”The next chapter of your life has not been written yet, you hold the pen. Write the story you want to read.”*
Love from a small channel💙
What helped is questioning ego and letting it die. It went away. Then I stopped caring.
no it didnt bro that ain't how the ego works
making people feel comfortable with humor while you dealing with with the honesty of insecurities, Pete knows how to do that very well
You should make a video analyzing Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo. He is amazing!
I genuinely like Pete. The guy is just funny and himself. I respect that.
Let me quickly write this, I've seen hundreds of videos because I terribly suffer from insecurities. And no video actually is there that I found necessarily helpful. But, for some reason, this video straight goes to my head, probably because of Pete Davidson. So, thank you.
Charlie has stated in past vids not to self depricate too much, i'd say that statement still stands here 👍
Can you do a video on Kevin O’Leary? When you watch older videos of him, he’s awkward and quiet, but when you watch him on his vlogs/shark tank he’s incredibly captivating and one of the best story tellers imo. I’d love to see a breakdown on how he is able to captivate an audience, whatever it be about something as mundane as talking about his watch collection or as exciting as discussing his first job, he is able to make it entrancing to watch regardless of the subject matter. I would love to see a breakdown of him, thank you
Pete has a great amount of connections and confidence. Helps alot.
My motto is rejection from a woman can be a way God saving you from a headache you don't need. The woman that's meant for you won't reject you. Give her a compliment and keep on moving.
That’s very kind of you.. , personally I don’t believe in a right women due to me being red pilled & researching in female biology , never the less i %100 agree the almighty will do what’s best for you..
This has nothing to do with the video though.
i needed this vid thank you lord. the first thing imma start with is honesty.
Almost every clip that's not Pete Davidson has chris Evans in it. Charisma on command may have bit of a crush
Who wouldn’t?
he is amazing I’m only a minute into the video and I’m thinking about the fact that he isn’t scrolling or shopping on social media and that will boost confidence in itself. I’m sure that’ll be mentioned later but it’s real
man i look forward to these videos every single week
The best thing to do just embrace who you are. In this materialistic society you see allot of fake people, I couldn't imagine living life that way.
I really needed this. thanks to you and Pete im gonna start practising these methods so I can finally have a proper social interactions with others and peace in my mind
An asthma attack is different from just poor performance and being a public figure is not like being an ordinary person but these are helpful nuggets. The take home is to work on not looking embarrassed or affected by negativity.
Resilient a book by Rick Hanson could also help for self esteem by showing you how to be on your own side, then you can be fully present for others. Charlie and Ben you're wonderful too. Thanks for helping me be better and more confident at being social. ❤
I have always really struggled with giving compliments even if I really wanted to say it. Definitely something I am still working on but it's a great tool and just a really nice thing to do.
Big ooooffffff with the Pete saying Kim and Kanye are a cute couple 🤣🤣🤣
So... honesty is the antidote is what I gathered.
This was awesome Ben I am glad you are making videos again. Love your structure
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
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massage him on WhatsApp
i haven't really cared about what people think of me for a while, and growing up in this society and having this mindset while still being in high school makes dealing with school so much easier, since i am still able to make friends who i can actually like to talk to, since they know i dont care about what they think of me.
Pete Davidson is one of the most genuine personalities in the entertainment industry. He doesn't do anything but be himself and that's what people are attracted to. We should all strive to be who we are and not what we think people want us to be. I love the way he turns his flaws into strengths and not take life so serious.
nothing is embarrassing self amusement is the key
I love this guy on SNL and I’ll check out his movie the king of Staten Island.
i do all this already i think im a naturally confident person its like im lying to myself and thinking im not or something glad i watched this.
This video made me understand why I always look so confident when really I’m not 😂
I think kevin mastered this very well , he's completely fine with being short
Just the breakdown I needed today! ♥️
Inherent-c:
Universal truth-specific
("What stands in the way, becomes the way.")
Appreciate you famo ✊
Aloud narration
This was a good one, guys 🙌
I've actually been being honest in thus way for a while and for the first time ever I've been making people laugh. I've never been funny before and it really does help.
"Kim and Kanye make such a cute couple I love hanging around them"
well that aged interestingly
I was waiting for someone to mention it😂
I care too much what others think of me even though i know i’m better than them. I think it’s called social phobia. However, to complete my responsibilites, I have to step out of my comfort zone and face those people. I am proud of myself for this. But I wish I could be more reckless and cheeky…
This aged really well
this one time at school i was working with some people from other classes. i didnt know any of them. at some point i fell but i got up laughed it off and continued [[akwardly in my opinion]] after we were done and got evaluaded it got pointed out and the teacher said she was impressed. i was genually taken aback by it but it does makeyou realise how much impact laughing it off and just keep going has.
"What makes us insecure is thinking that being less than perfect is a bad thing"
man this is his character ,we cant all be like him .some of us cant make up that laugh we are just serious
i laugh awkwardly when i’m nervous so i don’t think the “laughing to cover it up” would work lol
We all want to be perfect and try to achive that, but at the end we know that perfection is impossible to achive and we feel bad or ashamed, the moment we'll start to be happy for what we have and where we are, is when we'll find peace.
Unfortunatly i still can't accept myself but i hope one day i will