What's especially great is when they do all of these not listening and shutting you down strategies, but then later tell you it was YOUR fault because of, oh, any number of things they can come up with. (None of which actually make sense.)
Thank you a million times for this! That was exactly what happened with my ex: No matter when I would try to bring something up with him, he would always complain that I picked the worst time, and that I ruined a nice evening, meal, day out, holiday, whatever...it was never right.
I can’t tell you how many people tell me that. I heard these statements too! 💜 Emotionally abusive behavior is predictable once you know what to look for.
By the time he is done responding to my verbal need to fix something, the focus is LITERALLY unreckognizable. Then we go on with me being a petty person who lives in the past and cant exsist without drama. How does he put up with me? And for all these years?!
This is how my entire family are treating me, when I bring up behaviours that hurt me. That I just like drama. How can I deal with this? I've gone no contact for years, and as soon as I do let them back in to see if things have changed, we are right back where we started and why I left in the first place. I don't want to just never speak to any of them again...but I don't see any other way to deal with it because they are SO disrespectful towards me and just don't care how they affect me. They do not want to hear me or discuss the issues that are important to me...and they just ignore me when I try?
I am out 1 yr 10 months! Re: this topic This was a classic sign (that I misread). Anytime I brought up his ex-wife of 9 yrs, he went ballistic, and took off in a rage!!!! I thought it was an area of pain for him, so I treaded carefully. As time went on, I had to suppress any attempt to discuss how I was feeling. I approached the topic sensitively always. It didn’t matter! I was stonewalled every time. This was a massive red flag. Message: what I wanted/needed to talk about was not allowed period. As mentioned, I am completely out - oh dear god thank you for giving me the strength to leave, resist the relentless hoovers (thru no contact) & see this thing for what he is. Immensely blessed am I 💙 PS: his verbal abuse escalated to physical assault - 911 was called (by me) - don’t hesitate, it’s what saved me.
My former wife would either talk over me, shut me down, or give me the silent treatment in retaliation for speaking against her family or standing up to them. She would also do things like shut me out of our bedroom and refuse to respect my wishes or boundaries, particularly when it came to her narcissistic mother and father. I fled that household a year ago and have tried to stay no contact, but she continues to send mail to my home.
OMG Denise, "Thank You!", from the bottom of my heart. I discovered ur channel this evening, viewed at least 10 of ur videos....and ALL are on point, completely resonate with me, with my experience, & so so validating which I've needed & yearned for,...for so lonnnnng - as I'm sure it has & does with the majority of ur viewers. - I swear ur God sent, I've been praying a lot recently for help, insight that will aid me to get me & my young children out, as well as assist in helping me advocate, raise awareness and support those affected by this ~ WOW!!! Thank you for ur validation, encouragement, guidance and support. @rise,shine&thrive.
They never address the topic. They don't answer the question, they lie, the scream, they go to another old fight like u think I am sleeping with everyone..when you are bringing up money lies. Stonewalling.
My N..he first make a scenario for example that I don't talk enough today...he call me names...then I say how can you say that to me...then he get a reason for blocking me if and dissappear 3 days...when he comes back...am quiet but later I ask...why do u this to me? He: stop talking about the past he screem...move forward woman!....this he do every week every month in 2 yrs...in different scenarios....its like a demonstration in him...its nothing I can understand ❤
Dr. Denise Dart thankyou Denise! When you talk about jealousy...it's known..but if I turn the table. My N is among hoarders of wimen every day...he look at them with special look. ..he compliment them extremely every day..hug kiss touch.. for me it's to much wimen in our"we"...but I don't feel so jealous. .I just don't feel atrachted to men who "loves everyone.
Hello Denise, how can I go about getting the kind of professional help you got. I am hurting. Not on a daily but mostly when I am watching RUclips. I have gone through childhood trauma which has surfaced since getting involved with the narc. I have very recently gone no contact for the second time and am determined not to strike out this time. How can I contact you if that's possible. Thanks.
What's especially great is when they do all of these not listening and shutting you down strategies, but then later tell you it was YOUR fault because of, oh, any number of things they can come up with. (None of which actually make sense.)
Yes, you nailed it! 18 years of experiences in the narcissist’s conversation twilight zone!
Thank you a million times for this! That was exactly what happened with my ex: No matter when I would try to bring something up with him, he would always complain that I picked the worst time, and that I ruined a nice evening, meal, day out, holiday, whatever...it was never right.
soundds like u are alot like me....A RUINER! lol
Ive ruined plenty of good times we would've had but didnt cuz i brought that drama up.
2:24 OMG ... Some of your statements are EXACT quotes of what I have heard over and over again...
I can’t tell you how many people tell me that. I heard these statements too! 💜 Emotionally abusive behavior is predictable once you know what to look for.
By the time he is done responding to my verbal need to fix something, the focus is LITERALLY unreckognizable. Then we go on with me being a petty person who lives in the past and cant exsist without drama. How does he put up with me? And for all these years?!
I used to try to schedule time that we could talk and when the time came, he blew up and stomped off before we started.
+apples Anything to avoid being real in a relationship.
This is how my entire family are treating me, when I bring up behaviours that hurt me. That I just like drama. How can I deal with this? I've gone no contact for years, and as soon as I do let them back in to see if things have changed, we are right back where we started and why I left in the first place. I don't want to just never speak to any of them again...but I don't see any other way to deal with it because they are SO disrespectful towards me and just don't care how they affect me. They do not want to hear me or discuss the issues that are important to me...and they just ignore me when I try?
I am out 1 yr 10 months!
Re: this topic
This was a classic sign (that I misread).
Anytime I brought up his ex-wife of 9 yrs, he went ballistic, and took off in a rage!!!! I thought it was an area of pain for him, so I treaded carefully.
As time went on, I had to suppress any attempt to discuss how I was feeling.
I approached the topic sensitively always.
It didn’t matter! I was stonewalled every time.
This was a massive red flag.
Message: what I wanted/needed to talk about was not allowed period.
As mentioned, I am completely out - oh dear god thank you for giving me the strength to leave, resist the relentless hoovers (thru no contact) & see this thing for what he is.
Immensely blessed am I 💙
PS: his verbal abuse escalated to physical assault - 911 was called (by me) - don’t hesitate, it’s what saved me.
He blamed me for him walking on egg shells.he. would leave n say it was my fault
My former wife would either talk over me, shut me down, or give me the silent treatment in retaliation for speaking against her family or standing up to them. She would also do things like shut me out of our bedroom and refuse to respect my wishes or boundaries, particularly when it came to her narcissistic mother and father. I fled that household a year ago and have tried to stay no contact, but she continues to send mail to my home.
Just because a letter arrives doesn’t mean you have to read it. Just saying... 💜
Hello Dr.D.Dart,you said it well and you described the narc I married. Evil!!!!!
He used to say that i liked drama. N why do i have to make things difficult .
Wow! You look just like Princess Diana!
OMG Denise, "Thank You!", from the bottom of my heart. I discovered ur channel this evening, viewed at least 10 of ur videos....and ALL are on point, completely resonate with me, with my experience, & so so validating which I've needed & yearned for,...for so lonnnnng - as I'm sure it has & does with the majority of ur viewers. - I swear ur God sent, I've been praying a lot recently for help, insight that will aid me to get me & my young children out, as well as assist in helping me advocate, raise awareness and support those affected by this ~ WOW!!! Thank you for ur validation, encouragement, guidance and support. @rise,shine&thrive.
Lisa, it’s truly my joy to be able to be of service. Thank you for your kinds feedback.
They never address the topic. They don't answer the question, they lie, the scream, they go to another old fight like u think I am sleeping with everyone..when you are bringing up money lies. Stonewalling.
My N..he first make a scenario for example that I don't talk enough today...he call me names...then I say how can you say that to me...then he get a reason for blocking me if and dissappear 3 days...when he comes back...am quiet but later I ask...why do u this to me? He: stop talking about the past he screem...move forward woman!....this he do every week every month in 2 yrs...in different scenarios....its like a demonstration in him...its nothing I can understand ❤
This is a toxic pattern and not something that a balanced person could ever understand. This type of behavior is intended to confuse and cripple.
Dr. Denise Dart thankyou Denise! When you talk about jealousy...it's known..but if I turn the table. My N is among hoarders of wimen every day...he look at them with special look. ..he compliment them extremely every day..hug kiss touch.. for me it's to much wimen in our"we"...but I don't feel so jealous. .I just don't feel atrachted to men who "loves everyone.
Thank you!
Thank you.
Hello Denise, how can I go about getting the kind of professional help you got. I am hurting. Not on a daily but mostly when I am watching RUclips. I have gone through childhood trauma which has surfaced since getting involved with the narc. I have very recently gone no contact for the second time and am determined not to strike out this time. How can I contact you if that's possible. Thanks.
Hello Dr dart do you see people in person.