MY THERAPIST WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
- MY THERAPIST WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS #datinghorrorstories - REACTION
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Hey ya'll! Today on my channel we are reacting to some dating horror stories my therapist will DEFINITELY be hearing about...if she hasn't heard about them already. Enjoy :)
#datinghorrorstories #dating #datingfails #dategonewrong #reaction #charlottedobreio #react #reactionchannel #charlottedobreio #charlottedobre
Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I crack a joke or two. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
Edited by Timothy Dunsmore
Produced by: KOMI
End screen song:
Take It All Off (Feat. Charlotte Dobre, Sam Klass) - Defunk
open.spotify.com/track/3S6FXA... 
Развлечения
Story #1: Tinder (and all the dating apps) need to have a "Creeper Badge" you can award people when they pull sheet like that. People deserve a heads up.
You are right. On the other hand, vengeful or crazy people who got rejected may falsely accuse the person of being creepy just to get back at them for getting rejected.
I signed up very briefly for Plenty of Fish. A guy who messaged me gave me creeper vibes, so I distanced myself before being sent a picture of him rocking a half-chub (again guys, an unsolicited dick pic is on the same level as a cat proudly dropping a dead mouse on your doorstep). A couple of days after the picture, I blocked him and shortly after another girl messaged me to warn me that she took the guy home... he turned out to be a psycho who kicked her cat across the room. I thanked her and let her know that I'd already blocked him.
That is why we could introduce a creeper rating system. If one person reports you the rating is like, 0.1% of a rating. They can 100% check the logs to see if it is a legit report (did they connect, were messages sent, etc.). If it is fake the creeper rating is applied to their account instead of yours. I think it would save a lot of people from bad situations.
And hey, if you wanna swipe right on a guy with a 48% creeper rating, go for it. Just don't be surprised when he invites you to share a bathtub full of potato salad for dinner.
Well, there is already one and it is called tinder memebership/profile picture. Only thristy men and attention seeking whores go on that app.
It's a 100% guarantee she never told anyone and because of it much worse happened to others after her. Naive, selfish and ignorant.
Lol my dating horror story was with a friend of a friend. He was kinda weird, but I assumed he was just being quirky when he asked me out on a date to a frozen yogurt shop. I was like “Yeah, whatever, I’ve dated weirder people for frozen yogurt”. He offered to pay my way if I could also pick him up from his apartment, since he just had lower back surgery to remove a cyst on his spine. Again, I agreed, because it’s obviously not his fault he ended up needing this surgery.
Go to pick him up that day, get to his apartment, and text him that I was there. He texts me back, “Oh cool, I’m about to get out of the shower and just have to rebandage myself, so you can come in if you want.” Immediately, I decline, because that’s how I end up NOT getting frozen yogurt and instead either get coerced into sex that I didn’t actually want to have, or become a skin lamp. I, instead, tell him “No thanks, I need to charge my phone more, so I’m cool with just sitting in my car and letting it charge. It was actually a pretty nice day, and I didn’t want to waste gas, so I turned my engine off but still had my car battery charging my phone- this was a big mistake. Once the dude told me that he was ready, I went to turn my car back over…. And it was dead. So now here I am, frozen yogurtless, and really pissed off that my car decided to die because of the consequences of my own actions. Thank GOD for my new acquaintance (different guy) that I had just met earlier that week and was texting with, because he offered to come out to me and jump my car for me. Previously, I believed I struck out with this guy because I got super drunk at a house party his roommate was hosted and unloaded my family history on him, which included both of my great grandparents meeting in the Holocaust (actually a cool/sweet story, but ya know, very Holocaust-y), but he did end up sending me a friend request after that night, hence we were messaging each-other.
So my new acquaintance shows up just a few minutes later (the apartment wasn’t very far from his rental house), he jumped my car for me, and the date dude and I left.
From the time that this dude got in my car, to the time I dropped him off and told him to lose my number, only 45 minutes had passed. Let me explain:
So first things first, this guy was MASSIVELY sexual toward me; kept remarking at how my body looked, how I looked, etc. I’m not someone who can’t take a compliment, but in the middle of a yogurt shop, there are just some things I’d rather not have someone publicly say about me. I (as kindly as I could) brushed these remarks off because maybe he’s just nervous on first dates and doesn’t know how to talk to his date.
Well, then we get to the checkout counter, and he’s “forgotten his wallet.” Normally, I would be happy to go Dutch on a date, and I wouldn’t have been mad otherwise if he didn’t offer to pay for me and forgot his wallet- but dude, you literally said you were going to treat me for froyo. And I was making minimum wage and *just barely* had the funds to cover my own yogurt. So he tossed his, I got mine, and I sat there awkwardly as he kept making more sexual comments toward me:
“Do you have Yellow Fever?” (I’m white, this guy was Asian, and no, I had no idea what that meant at the time until he awkwardly explained it to me.)
“How many people have you slept with?”
“Are you also into girls? Sam (the mutual friend) told me you used to make out with girls”
“Are you a squirter? You look like you would be a squirter.”
“What’s the biggest you’ve had?” (Obviously talking about male anatomy)
There were other remarks he made, but I’ll spare you most of them. I continuously gave myself brain freeze as I kept trying to eat my froyo as quickly as I could just so we could end the date. The drive home was very quiet (I didn’t answer most of his questions during the date, so I think he understood this was a dud) and about 10 minutes later, I was dropping him off at the front of his apartment complex, where he asked me when we could go out again.
“I’m a sharp shooter,” I said, “and quite frankly, if you could do me the courtesy of losing my number and never contacting me again, that would be ideal.” And I drove off.
When I got hope, I thanked my acquaintance PROFUSELY for jumping my car again, told him just how bad the date was, and we had a really good laugh about it. I told the acquaintance that I was so appreciative of him taking the time out of his day to help me have a get-away car from this shit-tastic date that I was going to bake him brownies. He responded to that by saying, “Why don’t you just let me take you on a date, and I WON’T forget my wallet.” It turns out, the acquaintance is just a really shy dude and actually DID like me, even though I was 99% sure I struck-out with him lol
The acquaintance and I dated for three years, were engaged for 18 months, and have been married since February 2020 with three dogs, a cat, living in my MIL’s neighborhood in our dream house, and with our first child only two weeks away from joining us here on Earth.
***Edit/Update***
Holy crap, thank you guys for all the likes and sweet comments! Our daughter should *hopefully* be born within the next two days!♥️
Awesome story (the shi-tastic date excluded). So happy for you guys!!
Awwww … congratulations !!!
So happy for you!
Ah! The ending is so cute!!!! 🥰
This is adorable congrats!
I went on a date with a man I met on match. I named a restaurant that was at least 25 miles from my home so he could never figure out where I lived. Fifteen minutes after we sat down at the restaurant, he begins telling me there’s something that he should probably share with me. He’s on probation. I press a little bit and he’s obviously uncomfortable. To reassure him I stated, “it can’t be that bad. You haven’t killed anyone or you would be in prison. Right?” I am thinking he has had a DUI or something like that, based on the rate at which he’s finishing off shots of tequila! He tells me that he never killed anyone, but almost. His charges were attempted homicide! WTF!!??!
He continued, explaining that he “accidentally” broke his ex gf’s jaw in 3 places! I replied before I even thought about it, “OMG, I hate it when that happens to me!” LOL However, I know that the jawbone is one of the hardest bones in our body, so despite my bravado, I know I need to get the heck out of the restaurant and the area, asap. But I really wanted to know how and why. His story had a damn lamp and a bathroom light she would not turn off, so he clocked her upside her jaw with a lamp. Oookkaaaayyyy…. I stuck around just long enough that he relaxed a little and drank quite a bit more.
I excused myself to the restroom and quietly made my way to the kitchen and boldly walked into the very busy, large restaurant kitchen, asking for a manager… I know what those workers must have thought, but I am not a Karen and try to stay invisible, unless I am teaching, which I love. The manager was serendipitously nearby where I quickly explained what happened and that NOW I needed to get out safely, without his knowing or seeing, because I was really scared the rejection would make him angry and he might even try to follow me (we had talked on the phone for months before I agreed to this date). The manager had one of his waitresses keep the guy engaged, while he walked me to my car and quietly sent me on my way home. I drove home so fast and am grateful to this day that he became so comfortable with me that he shared what he did to his ex. That’s someone he supposedly loved? No thank you. If we listen, people will tell us who they are! Believe them.
But if he did that once doesn't mean he gonna do it again🙄
.. Hm... I'd date him.
On the 2nd date I'll set up recording devices and maybe let my friends sit at the next table and make him sign a contract saying if I get hurt or mysteriously vanished and/or found unalive, it's him.
But that's just my thrill seeking side.
@@se7nn1120 or you could also record it and turn it in to the police. Maybe ask some leading questions to make him admit he's an abuser and enjoyed it or something.
@@beataboom breaking someone's jaw in 3 places to the point that it's attempted murder for not turning off some LIGHTS? Yeah, sure...
@Beata The statistics actually show that if someone has perpetuated domestic violence before, they are very likely to do it again and escalate it each time. What we also know is that victims of domestic abuse don't tend to report it so you can probably safely assume that although this is what he got charged for there was probably a lot more incremental assaults he did before he got caught.
Ironically a group coming out of a Carl's Jr actually saved my ass from being attacked when I was 6 months pregnant. Noticed a guy was following me when I was walking to the parking garage. Every time I'd look behind me he'd duck into a doorway or bus stop but then continue following me. When I realized he wasn't backing off I knew it was fight or run, half a block away across the street was a Carl's Jr which meant people I did have a pocket knife but it was small, I pulled it from the front pouch of my bag before pulling the strap over my head so it was across my body & ran. Dude behind me started running as well & being 6 months pregnant I knew he'd likely catch me so I was preparing to turn & fight when I saw a group of people come out of the Carl's Jr so I started screaming for help. 6 people started running for me & the guy stopped but when I pointed at him saying he was chasing me he turned & ran. 3 people chased after him while the others helped me across the street & into the restaurant & called the police. My little boy is 10 now, I turned 40 in January & I'm still in touch with a couple of the people who helped me that night. Thank God for the kindness of strangers or we might not be here today.
Oh my Gosh! I’m glad that you and your son are ok, and I hope that guy got what was coming to him! How awful!
@@awg7068 they did catch him 3 days later when he attacked a woman 2 blocks over, she fought back & was fine thank God. He was wearing a yellow & black plaid jacket with white paint all over it when he came after me & he was still wearing it when he attacked her so they immediately knew who he was when they found him hiding in a parking garage.
AMEN
And men wonder when we women might react weird or are defensive or even aggressive towardsus!
😮😮
Praise God those people DID HELP you and did NOT turn their backs on you!
So happy your story had a great ending!
And that is SO wonderful you STILL talk to your HEROES❣️❣️
I love this so much!!
I have literally had a guy tell me he expected a “service” because he paid for a round of drinks on our date, going so far as saying he wouldn’t drive me home (we’re talking about more or less 30 minutes of open country roads)… so although I ended up walking in pitch black darkness, I made it a point to inform his next future conquests of his behaviour.
This guy sounds a bit psychotic😳 Glad You are okay! Warn them ladies🤣😂👏🏽
Good for you for warning them! I can't believe he left you stranded like that!!!
It sounds like it was better to not get the ride. Glad you ended up safe. Long live the whisper network.
Too bad we can’t go back in time and retroactively sterilize his parents. They must have been some real pieces of work.
@@monstermcboo7282 I mean it was a very “popular jock” and “ugly duckling” situation: I couldn’t believe he even asked me out. Another reason he really believed I owed him for his time…
Bloody hell, why do some people think that buying dinner for someone means they owe you sex? Even when that woman jumped out a moving car to get away from him he still drove around looking for her, wtf. What was he going to do if he found her? I'm losing faith in humanity here.
I agree, that woman was pretty brave.
I read horrible things that happened to young women in India in 2012 and 2015. I couldn't sleep the entire night and got pretty traumatized by the mentality of the criminals who blamed the deceased victim. Those girls were medical students. I kept thinking about my sister who was also a medical student a couple of years ago. She is now a mom of a baby girl. Yesterday, while the baby slept soundly on my chest, all I could think about was I'd never ever date and I must live long enough to make this world a better place for her.
Because she met up at in and out from Tinder.... That's why
Sounds like what happens when a Nice Guy (TM) finally gets a date.
@@pablodelsegundo9502 didn't sound like he was ever pretending to be a "nice guy". sounds like it was a tinder date that she didn't think was a "tinder date".
remember when people are telling a story, they are telling a story, not giving a deposition.
regardless, nobody owes you sex. even if they lose a bet and it is the prize.😏
"We shouldn't have to ask to be safe" DAMN!! That's it! I hadn't thought of it like that before, so thank you for putting it into words.
True.
But in reality, everyone does need to ask to be safe, and protect ourselves as best we can in any given moment, not always easy done.
Men too though!!!
Men are no safer than we are generally speaking, because even if they are strong, they may lose, out of not having the same sick drive to do harm to other humans.
Men are simply more likely to suffer straight violence at the hands of an evil stranger, rather than rape AND violence...
..although, again, not always true, men get raped by other evil men aswell...
Look at literally every jail system. It happens a lot. While trapped in a cage with no escape.
Evil knows no gender, no identity, no race, no limits.
Although this comment may be in part true it is a very childish view of the world. Children shouldn’t have to look both ways before crossing the street, I shouldn’t have to drive my car defensively, and houses shouldn’t have to be locked. People suck everywhere and always. And so long as people suck, if there are things we can do to prevent bad things from happening, then we are partially responsible for the outcomes we experience. The natural state of the world is fundamentally unsafe. Saying “we shouldn’t have to ask to be safe” is like saying winter shouldn’t be cold. Just because it’s cold outside doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be cold. But correct decisions and steps have to be taken so that you can be warm.
Oh hey, that’s me!!! It was definitely not my fault, but it definitely drove home (pun intended) the lesson of not trusting people until they’ve proven themselves trustworthy. SO COOL that you reacted to my video! Your content sparks joy 🥰
That's a terrifying experience. But it's much appreciated to see stories like these shared. It helps us not feel alone, and then kinda hate the fact that it's not uncommon. Ugh.
Aww hunny...
You're ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! NOT your fault whatsoever!
I am just SO DAMN HAPPY you escaped that DERANGED LUNATIC, SAFELY, and you learned from your mistake! That's what matters!!
We ALL screw up.. but if we learn.. we are doing it right!
Again... So happy you are SAFE!
Oh yeah.. I am curious about one thing..
Did you call law enforcement and report this @$$hole?! I DEFINITELY would have! I also would have reported it to Tinder, if that's an option.. clearly I have no idea, as I don't use them and have been single so damn long.. I wouldn't know what in hell I'm doing! 😂😂
@@evergreen61
Right?!
We as women should NOT have to fear 💩 like this!
Unfortunately.. this is the world we live in... It sucks out loud, that's for sure!
I just wish more women would get their CCW.. and start carrying!!
🥺🥺🥺
i have unfortunately a very similar experience. i hope youre okay now :(
I'm so glad you are okay!!!
On a first date, he came to pick me up at my house for dinner and a movie. I was living with my parents at the time, and he was early so I introduced them all to each other. My parents asked him what he did and he talked about joining the military, but first compared himself to God for getting a high score on his military tests. Then he proceeded to tell about how all of the branches were fighting with each other over who was going to get to recruit him. After the movie, he saw an old "friend" of his at the restaurant and left with her leaving me at the table to play for both of our meals and no way home. Thank God for an understanding restaurant manager who comped our entire meal so I wasn't stuck.
Found out that "friend" was really his fiance and she had caught him at the restaurant with me. They're now divorced with 2 kids.
I thank my lucky stars I dodged that bullet!
My advice to anyone that finds themselves being held captive in a moving vehicle.
OPEN THE DOOR.
Opening the door may make them slow down enough to jump out.
Open the door and hit things on the side of the road if it is a crowded street.
Open the door if you are on the freeway so that other cars see there is something wrong.
If the door is locked and you can't open it.....
STAB THEM IN THE EYE WITH YOUR THUMB
Solid advice 👏
Also, check the door for a baby lock before getting in.
maybe we shouldnt stab someone who is driving in the eye, im just saying. you could endanger yourself and other people around, especially when you're all in heavy metallic boxes :'I its better to attempt to wave at other cars, get their attention and make them call the police for you
@@bethrivera867 Those are only on back doors, right?
@@sarasmedberg8203 I would think that if I am being held against my will, I am already in danger. The nice thing about those 'heavy metallic boxes' is how safe they are these days with all of those seatbelts and airbags. It is better to actually put up a fight then pretend someone is going to help you.
Had met this guy on an online dating site, he was nice enough so after a couple weeks of messaging online we met up for lunch. Mostly exchanged mildly embarrassing college stories and I liked his laugh so a couple weeks later we agreed to meet up again. Found out on the second date that despite that we lived 45 minutes apart from one another we worked across A PARKING LOT from one another! Fast forward a few months and we were walking to a nearby park almost every day to eat lunch together picnic style, and now in 3 weeks he's going to become my husband 🥰
Dating horror story: the year after i graduated from highschool i decided to give it a shot with this guy I'd been fairly decent friends with since junior year and it pretty much ruined our friendship. At first it seemed like one of our normal hangouts; we watched a movie, went and got some burgers, swung by the library to see if there was anything good on that weeks library rotation shelf. Perfectly ordinary. But as the day progresses, the guy keeps getting clingier and clingier. I wasn't opposed to a little making out on our first "date" given that we'd already known eachother 3+ years and i was comfortable enough. But he just kept getting more and more intense about it. I eventually had enough of telling him to back off a bit (which he respected at first, to be fair, but he kept starting back up again). So he's getting intense, and after giving him the hard no, we're not doing this right now, the convo turns to boundries which he turns into a very in-depth k/nk talk. Which was definitely not first date material lol. But some of the stuff he admitted to wanting to do to me (emphasis on "to me", not "with me" or "for me") was really starting to skeeve me out. I was no longer comfortable. I moved the convo back to the movie we'd watched earlier, and then asked him to walk me home. Dude tried to give me his class ring as a promise ring once we'd reached my house in order to "make his intentions clear". Guy had gone from zero to a million in about 4 hours flat. I told him i wasn't comfortable with that on a first date, and thst I'd had more fun with him doing friend's stuff than i had couple's stuff, and that i thought we should take step back for now. I'm glad my front door was right there, and that my step-dad was home listening in to keep an eye on things. Dudebro went ballistic, yelling about how long he'd waited to finally go out with me, how he was so much better for me than any of those losers I'd dated in hs, how perfect my life would be once i was his wife, etc. Dad sent him packing, of course. I talked with my SD about what had happened and how the day had gone, and he had me go over the exact wording of some the things that guy had said to me, and pointed out which parts were skeevy red flags that i needed to watch out for. Pretty common after-date talk with my SD tbh, he was a good dad and I'm so so glad i had him in my corner. He was the one who pointed out to me how over-possessive and objectifying the guy was being, that i just didn't have the dating experience atm to pick up for myself. Dude had literally been talking about me like a non-person during our k/nk talk and it went right over my head. But yeah, never talked to him again, went to live with a relative for bit bc he kept trying to corner me in public. Thankfully I've never dated anybody that crazy ever again, those talks helped me learn to spot a lot of red flags a mile off. Thanks Dad.
Last i checked, dude was still in jail for assaulting a girl, so major bullet dodged tbf
Awesome stepdas
Kudos to your Dad. I've had an amazing what I call my 'Spidey sense'. It has kept me safe from a kidnapping as a child, and countless weirdos male and female as an adult. The skills of reading people never go astray - observations combined with gut feeling can be useful. I now teach my granddaughters and grandsons to develop their 'Spidey senses' too.
Good dad!!
I'm sorry you had to go through that, though glad your step dad was there and I love that it sounds like he was giving just the right amount of protective dad energy without being overprotective. Instead of trying to deter you from dating again, (which I'd guess already would have taken you a bit to try again after that) he told you what to look out for in the future.
I once dated this guy in High School and you know how relationships go when you are young... I broke up with him because the feelings just weren't there.. Well years pass and I move out of my parents house and I bump into him. We talk for a bit, he asks me out and I say no blah blah. Anyways he shows up at my house! It freaked me out and I called my sister and she brought her husband w/ her and he scared him off. I thought that would be the end of him but noooo! This man would show up at my house wherever I moved over the years! Turns out he worked for the electric company and could find me wherever I had electric turned on in my name. What a creeper! I ended up calling his boss and letting him know what had happened and I never heard from him again.
Years ago, when I was 17, I was dating a co-worker who was much too old for me (he was 27). At the time, I was pretty outgoing, but my 15 y/o sister was very shy and almost didn't go out of the house. So when I went out with this co-worker and his 2 friends, I invited my sister to go with us (I know, what was I thinking?!). My sister and I were sitting in the back seat with my 'boyfriend' in between us. We were all talking and joking and at some point there was some discussion about which club to go to. We parked the car to decide, when suddenly my boyfriend became convinced I was flirting with his friend who was sitting in the front seat. I thought I was just being nice to his friends. He became enraged and started punching me in the face and choking me. I was so shocked that I was unable to move. His friends were telling him to stop, but he wasn't listening to them. Fortunately, my amazing little sister had the presence of mind to get out of the car, open my door and pull me out. We ran to my own car that was parked a few streets away, drove home and called the police. He managed to kick my sister in the leg while we were getting away, which left a huge bruise. Boyfriend was convicted for abuse later.
I'm so sorry you went through this!!! That is just awful.
So young. I'm sorry . That was very traumatizing for you.
Your parents were ok with their 15 yo daughter dating a 27 yo man?? That wouldn't have worked for me, it didn't work for my daughter and I'm certain it won't work my granddaughters!
@@fencarroll9463not that it makes a difference, but the sister was 15, she was 17.
My husband was a “Navy boy”. We dated for a few years and were married for 27 years. Had one child, a son who is awesome. So sometimes a good sentence does start with “I dated a Navy boy”.
May my sweet husband RIP 💕 😊
Omg Charlotte you’re so right about the response you get when you DO tell someone about it! I once had a guy who kept groping my ass in line for the bus, I kept trying to get away from him but he kept making it seem like he was just bumping into me because the line was moving. At one point I looked behind at him with a wtf look and he just smirked at me. Once in the bus I tried to get as far as possible from him, but again, it’s a frickin bus there’s not very far I can go. He started harassing me and yelling at me because he wanted to *do things* and I said no and was ignoring him. Finally I got to my stop and the bus driver had seen what was going on so when I got off the bus she closed the back doors in this guys face so he couldn’t follow me. He ended up banging on the door screaming at me as the bus pulled away. (The driver then asked me the next day if I was okay which I thought was really nice). I called my cousin when I got off the bus because we live close to each other and I wanted to not be alone. I told him what happened and his first response was “WELL WHY DIDNT YOU DO SOMETHING OR SAY SOMETHING THIS IS WHY THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING” I was like excuse me? You’re blaming ME for this guy harassing and trying to follow me?! And basically blaming women for being assaulted? Wtf. Just the view society has of women, especially in these situations, makes me lose my faith in humanity 😞
NO! Not blaming you! But it is so true that as women we are somehow taught Not to make other people uncomfortable, even at our own expense. The first time he touched you, you could have just asked politely if he meant to touch you, and let him answer. The second time is the time to say LOUDLY, DO NOT TOUCH MY BUTT (or better yet, genitals) AGAIN! And if there was a third time, that’s when you can say, VERY LOUDLY, “ I HAVE REPEATEDLY ASKED YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME IN A SEXUAL WAY! I DON’T KNOW YOU AND THIS IS A SEXUAL ASSAULT! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME? THIS MAN WON’T STOP TOUCHING ME! PLEASE CALL THE POLICE!”
By then, you have put the shame back where it belongs, with him, protected yourself, announced to a crowd of people that you need help, and asked someone to alert the authorities.
I am in no way staying this is easy, but someone gave me the words I needed to be able to able to handle a situation this way, because honestly, I would never have come up with that on my own, and God forbid it ever happens again, to you, or another woman, we now have language and a model for how to take care of ourselves, while handing back the blame where it belongs, with the perpetrator.
@@StuckinNormal I understand your point, and appreciate the framework you’ve laid out here.
The use of the language “You could have..” to the OP, and opening it with “no! Not blaming you *but*..” are uses of casual language that show how deeply ingrained victim / woman blaming our society is.
Perhaps that is an overstatement, but I had to read your message a couple of times to see the value in it due to my personal reaction to that language.
@@TaterKakez Thank you for your very thoughtful reply. As the victim of incest and child sexual assault, on multiple occasions, I know that the first time I heard someone give me the words, THE ACTUAL WORDS, that I could say to help myself, I was dumbfounded. I had been so quietly ingrained to accept others bad behavior, to not call them out in it, not only to NOT put the responsibility where it belonged, with the abuser, but in addition, to TAKE that responsibility and carry it myself, that i had absolutely NO IDEA 1) that i had a right to say no, and 2) I wouldn't have known WHAT to say. So for me, those words, coming out of the mouth of another survivor, were an absolute turning point for me. Words are power! And i had just been given words to protect myself! It took a while before I could do it, but even today, some 20+ years later, that modeling, that example, those words, help me on a day to day basis with how to set boundaries in my life.
Just to clarify one other thing, my "but" was in fact NOT followed by a disclaiming of anyones truth, it was a reminder that there are often cultural, generational, familial, and other, reasons why we DON'T know HOW to say no, or even that we can.It was never intended to negate nor dismiss, anyone elses truth; I'm sorry if you felt that it was.
Saying something is really hard to do. Some guys would back down. Some would hunt you down. It's risky.
@@kykutie686 Exactly - and even if they leave you alone after publically embarrassing them, they might stalk you to your home and hurt you and then you'd still somehow be the one at fault, I hate being a woman in this society.
When I was MUCH younger (I’m 62 now), I went out with a guy I met at a club. I was 17 but had a fake ID (this was back when they didn’t even care). He came to pick me up at home where I lived with my parents and younger brother. He reeked of disco cologne!! We left to go to dinner but he said, “Do you mind if we stop at the furniture store where I work? I left my thermos there.” Lmao! We stop there and he had A BED MADE UP IN THE BACK OF THE STORE!!! I said no and he grabbed me and pushed me roughly to the bed. I got scared and punched him. He fell back into a chair and it tipped over backwards. There were no cell phones back then and I told him to effing take me home! NOW!! We pulled into the driveway, I got out, slammed the door and he peeled out backwards, out of my driveway. I told my mom and dad what happened and my dad never worried about me again, when it came to dating. Lol.
I got into a guy's car on the first date once, and I got so scared when he drove past the turn, but then he said "Oh, I missed the turn." and turned around.
Six years later, we're still together, and have a baby, so I guess it worked out for me.
It’s a really funny and weird that people will literally say “If you want to be treated with respect and dignity, better stay at home.” Without using those specific words. It’s easier to shame a victim then to persecute the aggressor. 🥺
I've got a pretty bad one. I went on a couple dates with a guy back in high school (nothing fancy, just dinner and movies), and, while I had a good time, I came to realize that I wasn't attracted to him (three years later I would discover I'm a lesbian, which explains the lack of attraction). I realized the lack of attraction on probably our second or third date together, and I told him as much as he was driving me home. I told him that I thought he was a great guy and I had a lot of fun hanging out with him, I just wasn't attracted to him and thus wanted to stay friends rather than pursue a romantic relationship. He seemed to accept my decision and told me to have a nice night before heading home himself.
We kept texting, as friends do, and eventually set up a time to go see another movie, also as friends. Dinner was fine, we paid separately as it wasn't a date, and the movie was also fine; he didn't put the moves on me or anything. We chatted about our week as he took me home, and I thought, "Great! He's taking this really well and isn't gonna be weird about this."
Cut to my driveway; I told him goodnight and went to get out of his car...only to realize that the doors were locked. He had a newer car, one that made it harder to unlock without the use of the actual unlock buttons. I looked at him like "um, are you gonna unlock the door?" and he pulled the "I think we need to talk" schtick. He started going on about how there was a connection between us and I just needed to give him a chance and could I just explain what he did wrong? I told him that, until now, he hadn't done anything wrong, I just wasn't attracted to him.
He kept me locked in his car for HALF AN HOUR trying to convince me to give him another chance. The whole time my hands were shaking and my heart was racing; I was so scared I didn't even think to try and call anyone in the house (it was 10 PM, so my entire family was home), I just kept fighting with the lock on the door. Eventually I worked up the courage to tell him that if he didn't let me out I was going to call my brother and uncle (both are over 6' tall, compared to my "friend" who was around 5'7", and my uncle is built like a brick house; my "friend" had told me the first time they met that he was afraid of my uncle), and that's when he finally unlocked the door. I bolted and slammed the door behind me before I ran to my garage door (my family's house has a front door, but we only ever go in through the garage). My hands were shaking so badly I almost messed up the code to the garage door, but I managed and ran inside.
I ran right past my aunt and uncle, who were sitting in the living room watching TV, and went straight to my sister's room to tell her what had happened. I was too scared to text the guy to leave me alone, so she took my phone and did it for me but didn't block his number. He started blowing up my phone, repeating the same things he had said in the car, until I finally blocked him. Total nightmare.
For the In-N-Out story - Probably a good idea to have called the police afterward. We laugh but transporting someone against their will is kidnapping in the state of CA. False imprisonment at the very least. And who knows who else he’s done this OR more to.
Agree
unfortunately trying to report these kinds of crimes never really go anywhere. it becomes a "he said /she said" situation and police always side with the man
The police would victim blame her, that's the type of culture we live in.
@@nottheone582 no they don’t always side with the man. This rhetoric is why so many women remain silent. Not true at all.
@@Alessastarz and this is just the type of narrative that makes women feel they don’t have a voice
Went on a date with a guy I met through work. Lunch was nice. But he dressed like my dad. So when he asked me back to his place for drinks at 2 pm, I declined. He messaged me later and asked again, but I wasn’t paying for a cab across town for a dude that dresses like my dad. Next morning I wake up to finding out he took another woman out for supper and strangled her to death. I didn’t date for a long time after that. Trust your gut
When I had just turned 18 and started gaining freedom (I lived in a very strict home so as soon as I got freedom I took it) I made an online dating profile. I stated talking to this guy who seemed really sweet. We met in public a few times and eventually we agreed to meet at his house. We started watching a movie and kinda just leaning on eachother when all of a sudden he paused the movie to go to the bathroom. I was sat waiting for what felt like forever. He finally comes back out holding a very large duffle bag of some sort and was acting extremely excited to show me what was in it. He sits down (practically on my lap) and unzips the bag. This is where I kinda panicked. He pulled out a ton of black rope, metal handcuffs and a ball gag... I'm not sure what the last object was but it was what scared me off. It looked like some kind of switch blade? Maybe!!! (I am not accusing him of anything, that is just what it looked like. I texted my mom who knew exactly where I was because I sent her the location of his house and said "SOS". Within minutes she was calling me and telling me that grandma fell down and it's not looking good. LMFAO! I was out of that house quicker than a MF. Blocked him on everything and never saw him again.
Oh right, might be just an inoffensive kink. But again, kinks must be talked before hand. It's perfectly natural feel scared when someone you didn't get intimate enough just show out of nowhere his equip, even for someone who likes the thing.
He needs to practice more the talking part of sx.
Good for you
He was waaaaay too quick to try and show his lifestyle. He made a rookie mistake by not communicating with you about things like that. But it would also seem too soon to try and bring up sex when it's just a first date.
Stay away from people with kinks like that, they have no morals
I went on a blind date that work associates had set up for me back in my early 20's. We talked on the phone first, we had a great conversation, he was charming, funny and I really enjoyed it. So we set up the date, mind you this was back when we could sort of trust people to pick us up, etc. So he shows up at my place with a dozen red roses. WOW, very nice but I felt kind of excessive for a first date with someone you have never met....but still very nice (not trying to be mean). I thanked him, put them away and we went to his vehicle. A very nice truck. He himself as far as looks go was eh okay, pretty short, skinny but looks are not important to me at all. He began to tell me how beautiful I was over and over and over again and again and again. It was really making me uncomfortable. I mean it was excessive, at least 20 - 25 times before we even got to the restaurant. We went to a nice seafood place, that's quite popular. Convo is going okay but he's just looking at me like a puppy dog, and again with how beautiful I am. I was attractive in my early years but geesh come on dude, I was pretty but exquisite...no. Anywho, he eats his food in like 5 mins, inhales it practically and then stares at me the whole time I"m eating, talk about uncomfortable. I thought okay once we get to the club and have a couple of drinks, he'll calm down. We then went to this very popular Jazz club on the roof of a building. We find a table and come to find out, he doesn't drink....I"m like oh noooo, so I start pounding vodka/cranberries because this dude was too much. He is got his arm around my shoulder and looking to make sure people are seeing him with me....it was just so weird and uncomfortable. I know I sound like a Miss B, that he thinks this of me but it was bizarre folks....I mean obssesive and strange. I "got a headache" and needed to go home after an hour or so. I couldn't take it anymore. He drops me off I thank him for the date and we parted ways, he called me the next day to ask for another date. I tried to me as nice and explain it was nice meeting him but I was not looking for a relationship but we could be friends (which was a lie and I shouldn't hae said it). He got the hint and realized this was going no where. Well it was weeks later, when my co-workers (2 of them that set this date up) and I went to happy hour out of work when one of them asked me if I was a Witch. Stunned, I was like uh what? No and why in the world would you think that? This jerk had told them that I was telling him that I was a Witch and I cast spells on people, crazy stuff. I started laughing and thought what the hell. Total loser and then a couple of weeks after that he calls me up wanting another date, so I just said some gibberish and said that was my "f off, spell" and hung up..
Holy shit, what a weirdo
Why would he say to others that you are a "witch" and then ask for another date? ....
Yes, I can tell a “navy guy” story, but it’s my mother’s.
This was in the 1930s, a year before she met my dad, and she was seeing a young navy pilot, stationed on an aircraft carrier currently in the harbor going through some refurbishment. She really liked him a lot; he was fun, cute, and had family money that hadn’t gone away during the Great Depression. He had enough money that he bought himself his own plane and kept it at the local airport. So, this is the story of their last date.
He invited her to go flying with him. It was a biplane with two open cockpits; hers was the front seat. He flew out over the ocean to a nearby island, around the island, and then headed back to the airport. She was loving it, until he decided to show off; Loop-the-loops, upside down, power dives! As they lined up for the runway the plane ran out of fuel and glided in for the landing. When she managed to climb down to the ground she promptly vomited and vowed never to fly again.
I learned this story when I was working in another state and my mother flew out to see me. I didn’t realize that this was the first time she had flown in over thirty years. As she wobbled down the concourse towards me I could see she was drunk; I had never seen my mother drunk. “Two margaritas to start, and another two during the flight.; It’s the only way I could get myself on the plane.” That’s when she told me about this terrifying date.
Awwwe. Your mama loves you.
That poor woman! Traumatized by an arrogant showoff like that. I'm so sorry she went thru that. Please give her a hug for me.
Tbh that sounds like my dream date. I love airplanes, and i'd love for someone to take me out flying. But i guess he should have been paying more attention to her and realized that she wasn't enjoying this flight at all, instead of just showing off. 🤦
give her a hug,this must have beenscary
❤️
I’m the horror part of this horror story- me and this guy weren’t even interested in each other. We were kinda forced to go out by a mutual friend who I had a MAJOR crush on. So we agreed to one date to get our friend to stop harassing us. Note that this poor guy and I barely knew each other’s names at the time. We agree to meet at our college cafe and I end up sleeping through my alarm and being an HOUR LATE. He waited for me, just assuming I stood him up but he had a class later and had nothing else to do. So…in order to get rid of him and to establish to our friend that we DONT have a connection, I trauma dumped on him 😬 “I’m Jewish, is this going to be a problem? I’ve been [S/A], can you handle that??” Anyway, we somehow go on MORE DATES and I keep exposing him to stuff he’s scared of (horror movies, sushi, cats NOT CAT BONES THO). I’m a NIGHTMARE. Me. I’m the horror story.
That was 9 years ago and we’ve been married for 5 years. Sometimes…..life is funny ❤️
Trauma bonding FTW lol. Too funny how life works out sometimes. All jokes aside, great story and glad you found a keeper
It is sweet that he accepted everything about you upfront and knew you were worth it. Also sweet that you realized he is a jewel. Congratulations!
omfg what i was not expecting that ending
Well, you ended up married cos you didn't have the cat bones... Fail.
Love you both for your intensity and lack of shallowness. Drinks are on me!
Years ago, my mother dated a Navy guy. They met at a dance hall in the 50's. She didn't really dig him and told other potential suitors he was her cousin so the other guys would be more inclined to behave with her having a male relative escort at the place. They got married about 6 months later, just had their 67th anniversary. 😊
That first story totally triggered some college frat boy/party situations for me. I must preface that I was in college during the heyday of Girls Gone Wild. So not a great time to be a 18 year old girl. I’m a freshman at a college with 1 girl to 7 guys ratio. I have a cute sophomore passing me really cute, innocent notes in calculus class. He seemed so sweet! And it was a little silly. He asks me to come over to his frat house. He asks me what kind of alcohol I want. His frat house had a weird situation where they had all their beds in one huge room, but they also had individual rooms where they’d hang out with their stuff, tv, computers, couch, etc. We’re hanging out in his room that has no mattress in it. I go to the bathroom and I come back and he has a mattress on the floor that I have no idea where it came from!!! And he’s on the mattress with the lights off! He basically did the same thing as that first dude, you owe me, i paid for this crap. I’m like I’m out of here! What the actual hell. Fast forward to that frat’s biggest party of the semester. I am extremely drunk, I actually had two dudes pulling on my arms (he was one of them) each claiming that I was theirs. That’s a big issue in itself, but this stuff happened on the regular where/when I was. Somehow I end up in his room, but I’m not feeling well at all. I end up puking all over his room and couch while the room is spinning and I’m laughing like a maniac because I purposefully did not try to puke in a trash can. I left my mess in his room and we never talked again.
Went out on a date with a guy, like most, the online conversation was great. At dinner he tells me that he is still friends with his ex-wife. I had no issue with that, but he continues to tell me that she had just lost her house in a fire. My reaction was, oh how sad. Nobody was harmed in the fire. We move on and talk about different things. It was not a bad night. We end the night and he asks if he can take me out again. i said yes. We talk for a few days and things are going really good. We had been talking for about a month and employment had never entered the conversation. I avoid the work thing for a couple of reasons, you see at the time i worked for our local District Attorney. Mention that and you get rid of the bad ones quickly. One day at work a new case comes in the office. I am working as a victim advocate at the time and the case was assigned to me. My first arson case. I get comfy in my desk chair and begin to read the report. Female victim at home asked her soon to be ex-husband to come over and help with some weeds in the back yard. He found out that she was dating again and they begin to argue. He told her he did not have time to finish cutting the weeds and he would burn them. He proceeded to lite a pile of dead weeds that just happen to be sitting next to he house. He lit the weeds and said i hope your house burns down as well. What a nice guy, i look at the defendant, the one they arrested, and guess who it is? the guy i have been dating for the past month. I gave him a call later that evening and told him that i needed to tell him where i worked. He really didn't say anything just said it was nice talking to me and that was it. the guy never knew where i lived. anytime we went out i met him. The DA's office did get a conviction and the guy was sent to prison for several years
this is WILD omg
Not a dating horror story, it never got that far…talking on a dating site, he said he liked my pink/purple hair, but wasn’t sure his parents would approve…we were both in our mid 40s at the time 🙄😂
He was living in their basement, so he could have just asked.
OMG, I met a guy on a dating site... he said he was an actor. I assumed he probably meant waiter or some other typical day job, trying to be an actor. When we met up at a local Starbucks (my choice), I noticed that he came a little after our meet up time. I'd already gone in, bought a drink, settled at an outdoor table with a book. He rolls up and decides he doesn't want anything to drink. Okay. As we talk this guy (early 40s) lives with mom and dad, has no income (apparently, he refused to do any work but acting), has BARELY worked as an extra. And he didn't have an agent because they all expected him to take acting training. Uh...right. Proceeds to tell me he meets women online but they never want a second date! Oh, and why do they always want to do things that cost money? 🚩🚩🚩 Yeah, if a coffee at Starbucks strains your "budget", dating is not for you! LOL
love this. too many scary stories here
Was thinking this was my brother, until I read mid-40s.
When I was around 18, I was feeling pretty alone since I just moved out to a big city away from my friends and family and didn't really know what to do or who to go out with, so I signed up to a dating app and decided I'd meet some friends on there. I matched with a guy that was pretty cool online and he asked me if I wanted him to come to my place and maybe share a meal and chat for a few hours. I said yes and he was there like thirty minutes later; all was going well until he rolled a blunt and asked if I wanted to share it. Being the dumb kid that I was, I accepted and immediately I felt dizzy and nauseous. Being very shy and nice and all, I didn't say anything and continued to smoke but he was getting very touchy and tried several times to lay me down on my bed. After a few attempts he literally forced me to lay down and got on all fours over me, and that's when I realised I was in fucking danger. Nobody ask me how I managed to do it but I threw him off to the side of the bed and opened the front door, yelling at him to get out or I'd call the police. He wouldn't, saying that he needed his shoes to go out (shoes were of course way far away into the flat.) and I literally slammed the door on him, locked it and then threw his shoes out the window and onto the street floor. I moved shortly after and never heard of him again.
One time I went on a date with a kid I knew from high school. His older sister was one of my good friends, and I met him through her. He was definitely cute, and during my senior year (his junior), we had a class together, and we would almost always sit together. We had some laughs, lots of banter and lighthearted teasing, which is kind of my love language. I had a bit of a crush, but I also didn't feel like it was true love or anything. I figured if he asked me out, I'd say yes and see where it went from there.
By graduation, he still hadn't asked me out. I wasn't heartbroken, I just shrugged it off. There are plenty of fish in the sea, no big deal.
A year goes by, and suddenly he texts me asking me on a date. Um... ok? I say yes, because why not? It's an evening out and a nice dinner. To his credit, he drove and he paid, he was a perfect gentleman. But... well...
Remember how I said I knew it wasn't "true love"? I guess he didn't get the memo. We go to a fancy-ish, moderately-priced restaurant, which happens to be where he works. Ok, fine, discount on the food, why not make use of it? But then THREE of his coworkers come out at various times to say hi, and all of them say "Good on you girl, he's one of the good ones, just treat him right!" or some derivative of that. And one of them brings out A CANDLE FOR THE TABLE. Like we're fucking Lady and the Tramp. And the guy I'm out with keeps staring at me. If we were in a relationship, it would be cute, but instead, it's just creepy.
After dinner, he asks me what I want to do next. I'm thinking, why didn't you plan something? Shouldn't you have some kind of plan? I suggest a movie, but he then tells me he has to get the car back home by 9:00 pm (he'd borrowed his parents' car). It was already after 8:00. I couldn't think of anything to do that would fit within so short a time, so I just said, "Why don't we just talk for a little while?" So we did. Or we would have, if we had anything to talk about. But since we didn't... yeah, it was awkward. And I think he probably had some, ah... SERVICE in mind, and was disappointed that I didn't suggest that. He never texted me again.
Not much of a horror story, but since I haven't been on very many dates, it's the best I got.
At least he was respectful enough not to "insist"
sooo, you were annoyed that he didn't have perfect time schedule plan (what exactly did you do in this dating story again? if anything...)
oh and he was a creep because he made an awkward attempt at romance with a candle.
not to mention he "probably had some SERVICE in mind, and was disappointed that i didn't suggest it".
I was working graveyard in a retail store one night when as I passed by one of doors, I hear knocking. There was a girl on the other side of the door knocking on the window trying to get my attention. She asks through the crack in the door if she could use a phone. It was about 1am and I call my manager and let him know what was going on. He comes to the door and tells me to lock it behind him because we don't know who could be waiting outside with her. I let him out and lock the door behind him and wait. A while later he comes back in with his keys and tell me that her boyfriend threw and broke her phone and left her stranded here in the middle of nowhere. Our Store was in the outskirts of town. My manager let her use his phone and waited with her until her parents could come and pick her up. He ranted for a while that night about how messed up it was that anyone would leave their girlfriend stranded somewhere. These stories made me think of this and I'm sorry to those who've been through something horrible with someone they trusted enough to go out with.
wtaf, some of these "men" out here are the absolute worse. I hope that girl is okay and not with that abuser anymore.
Not at all the same, but last week I got locked in the back room of a pottery studio and had to knock on a glass window to get freed.
My wife’s first date with a navy boy must have gone ok. Been married 53 years years! I enjoy your channel!
My late-husband (USAF at the time) asked out a Navy girl... We had 30+ yrs together.
My first date as a Navy girl with a Navy guy, continues after 41+ years of marriage and 3 beautiful girls :)
@@lisachicoine5172 I married a Navy boy too. 30 years this November.
Because you weren’t a weirdo! Yay for both of you and 53 years!
It's not the navy boys.. let me tell you.. army MP .. horrible choice 🤣🤣🤣
I went out on a date with a guy that I knew from high school. The entire night he proceeds to tell me that as his GF I would not be allowed to wear tight clothes around other men and I would have to get used to him calling me pet names....and this is our first time out! He then starts bragging out how he is going to be a professional football player (minor leagues) and I can tell everyone that my boyfriend is a football player (again this is the first date!!!). Long story short, he got mad at me and never talked to me again after I said no I will not be going to his friends wedding with him.
I went on a date with a woman who told me she'd lived in the Seattle area for three months and had already broken up with three boyfriends. She said that she had a bunch of dvds she stole from her last bf and his leather jacket in the trunk of her car. It would look nice on me and I could help myself to the dvds. She went to the restroom and while she was gone, I paid the check and left her there.
Good riddance for you! Women (and I am one of those) can be quite horrible, too. Glad you had the sense not to become one of her victims.
As our first date, this guy "Steve" invited me as his date on a group outing to a dueling piano bar. We all met up at a mutual friend's apartment to pre-game and walk to the bar together. As we all headed to the bar, I had linked arms with Steve and another friend, Kevin, to keep warm. It became very clear that Steve had been pre-pre-gaming and it wasn't long after we reached the bar that he was wasted. It was after the SECOND time Steve fell off his bar stool when I turned to Kevin and said "I'm going to talk to you now." When we all left, I once again linked arms with Steve (stumbling drunk) and Kevin. As we walked across this foot bridge over a river, I felt Kevin's grip on my arm tighten. I looked at him and he whispered "If Steve falls into the river, I don't want him taking you with him."🤣
I went out with Steve two more times because he was apologetic and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Four months later, I started dating Kevin. We've been married for 10 years now and have two awesome kids!
That's fkn awesome :)
That is so cute and sweet! Glad it turned out great in the end!
I love this! So cute 😭
You had me sucked in as soon as I saw the dueling piano bar! Lol
That's so amazing!! Did you get to cross paths with Steve again in those 10 years? how has he taken it?
"How is it our responsibility to not trust people on a date?" YAS QUEEN!!!
The first thing I say when someone tells me I made an unsafe decision is, "I am sorry that happened to you. They never should have put you in that position. Please call me next time, i will teach them proper etiquette (I have a bat). This is not your fault! How can I help you feel better now?"
Thank you, Charlotte!!! ❤️❤️❤️
It is NOT our responsibility and that guy that refused to drop her off should have been reported to the police. NEVER feel ashamed that you made "the wrong choice", my sisters. Fuck no, that's not your fault!
Went on a date with a guy when I was 18, it was a late date, he picked me up at around 10pm. Not much was open so he took me to a self serve car wash and I stood and watched him wash his car. Then we went to sit by the lake and talked for a few hours. After a while he asked if I had ever been to a porn shop before. Naive little me said “I’ve never been to a pawn shop”. Imagine my surprise and embarrassment when we turned up at a shop with 3 neon X’s in the window. I said I thought he meant pawn not porn but just got out of the car and walked around the store, bright red, head down. He apologised and said he didn’t know of anything else that would be open that late. I agreed to a second date. We shopped for pants for his job. That was the entire date. My brother died suddenly while I was dating this guy, so I trauma bonded with him, married him and spent 6 miserable years with him telling me I was terminally unhappy. After starting to see a psychiatrist, this doctor told me it was not a good relationship for me and I asked for a divorce. I’m now 16 years married with my 2nd husband and I’m not unhappy anymore. Guess it wasn’t terminal, it was situational!
I'm happy you got away from that douche
I met this guy online years ago, and we spoke for about 6 months before deciding to meet up. I flew there, it was in Vancouver and only an hour by plane from me. I was there for the weekend, so I was hoping for some shopping and site seeing too. Well, within the first few hours of meeting him, he wanted to get in my pants and i said no. Well... you would have thought I had murdered his pet or something. He yelled at me, verbalized all this vitriol, called me the B word. All this pent up anger for all the other women who said no, came to the surface, it was like a tidal wave. I admit, I got scared, and left. My plane ticket wasn't for a few days later, and when I arrived at the airport, soaking wet from the rain downpour. I was determined to keep it together and change my ticket so I can get home right away. The lady at the counter was so nice, that I started to cry and I told her what had happened. They changed my ticket, didn't charge me and got me on the next plane home. To be honest, I don't even remember the ride home, I was so upset. When I got home, my cats were meowing at me, probably about how stupid my choice was. I felt this guy wanted to hit me, he was very aggressive about me saying no. It was scary.
Kind of like Charlotte said though, none of that was your doing. You even spoke for six months!! Dude needs therapy and you deserve a spa day after that.
@@mirandahughes2312 We just never know if someone has motives or not. I'm just glad I was able to escape. And YES to the spa day!!
@@Weeeewriter I'm glad everything worked out and you were able to get out of that situation safely. That airline was the hero you needed and kudos to them. Scumbags like that make me despise my gender.
@@scottkendrix6231 Thank you Scott. I'm sure he did that to other women. My simple no set off a terrible anger in him. I hated it that he made me feel afraid.
@@Weeeewriter I hate that we live in a world where such things happen. Again, I'm glad you got out safely. I can only imagine the emotional damage that did to you and hope you're in a good place, mentally and physically, now.
I went on ONE date with a guy I met on POF, we had lunch with my roommates at Chick-fil-A and then had dinner at chipotle by ourselves. Went for a walk on the river bridge where he kept trying to kiss me. Told him no. Drove myself home and thought that was the end of it. Next day I get a dozen roses at work with a card mentioning how he thinks I’m “ the one”. I sent him a text to tell him thanks for the flowers but I’m not interested and he was LIVID. Yelled at me about how I played him for free food, etc. and how I was a b***h.
You dodged a bullet, girlfriend.
"How is it our fault and bad decision to trust someone to not kidnap us on a first date?" 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I felt that in my soul.
Omg! This is my time to shine!!! I went on a date with this guy a few years back. We ended up at his place and decided to eat whatever we could find in the pantry. We found some canned stew and something seemed really weird about it. I finally mentioned it to him and he says, “yeah, it does taste a little odd.” He goes and checks the can and its 5 YEARS EXPIRED. Right then, his doorbell rings and it’s a friend inviting us to another friends house for games, etc. Sure!
We pile into the car and it just so happens he only drives a 2 seater. He asks me if I’m ok sitting on his friends lap since it’s only about a mile away. Sure thing!
The second he drove off I knew I’d made the most horrid decision of my life. 5 years of expired beef stew made me start to shit my pants and puke… while sitting on the lap of his friend.
I wish I could tell you this was some terrible joke. Oh no. It was as real as it was bad. I can’t even tell you the amount of screaming and tears that took place in that car.
On a happy note, my date was the perfect gentleman of helping me rinse up while I couldn’t stop bawling my eyes out. His friend actually forgave me. Lol. And the guy and I dated for a few years. So I guess it turned out ok. Lol
Oh God how awful that must have been. At least they were both decent about it though
@@stacythomas9916 lol, it was BAD! 🤣 But agreed. I’m SO SO grateful, even to this day, that they are good guys!
LMAO this is definitely a "it was only funny later" kind of story.
@@InteriorDesignStudent lol, it DEFINITELY took a while to be able to laugh at it. 🤣 I think it also significantly helped that they were both sooooo ridiculously nice. It helped me be able to see the humor in it later. Haha
I puked on the second date with my current partner... It sure is a good way to see how someone is in a (embarrassing) crisis 😅 (clearly my guy was also really nice about it)
This was a second date: I went out with a dude who we'll call Bob. In first-date conversation, Bob made it clear that he was not interested in hookups or something insubstantial. His heart had been broken too many times, he wanted a woman with whom he could see a potential future, yadda yadda yadda. So the second date was perfectly normal, nice even. He lived near the restaurant where we had dinner, and he suggested going back to his place to watch a movie, and again: no nookie intended. I said okay, we go back to his place, and Bob put on a movie. After about 10 minutes, he paused the movie and excused himself to go to the bathroom. I looked around, marveling at his relatively normal adult apartment, and after a couple of minutes, Bob emerged from the bathroom: totally unclothed and, um..."happy". He walked towards me with a big smile on his face, and I kind of reared back on the sofa. "I thought you didn't want anything like that", I said, very confused. Bob says, raising his eyebrows, "Well, I did, but you turn me on so much!" I said nope, and left, and never saw Bob nor his "happiness" again.
I experienced this exact same thing! I still remember that dude had a dog that obviously had butt worms because it had rubbed a track throughout the apartment with his butt. I left while dude was still standing there naked. I was terrified!
I just want to know how "creep mode" gets activated. It's like an involuntary switch, I swear. They care NOTHING about what we want & just decide to do whatever. So disturbing. 😒😒
@@TheJulithegreat omg now i wanna know if it was the same guy 🙈
omg...
its naked man challenge 😂 from how i met your mother loool
Oh Charlotte, I died laughing when you mentioned the Navy boys!!! My Dad was a WWII and Korea Navy Veteran. Let's just say, he was quite the lady's man. I'm the youngest of 9! Only a Cherokee woman or her cast iron frying pans could hold that man down! Totally not kidding! 🤣😂
I still can’t believe that my mom at some time in my life was dating my dad. My dad mentality at age 45 still hasn’t surpassed a 12 year olds. My dad lived with his parents until I was 3 when he met my stepmom. My stepmom, wonderful woman, already owned a small house so my dad finally moved out at age 31-ish. Lived with her for over a decade & then they “broke up”. By “broke up” I mean they were on & off for a year but kept saying they were broken up. How did I know that? My dad told 12 year old me to go to the car while he said goodbye to everyone. The second I entered the car he started making out with my stepmom on her porch for 10 minutes expecting that I wouldn’t notice. He entered the car & left. It was never addressed. During that year my dad decided to move into his own apartment for the first time in his life. His parents bought most of the furniture while the rest was his stuff from my stepmoms house. He said he would “get wifi very soon” whenever I visited but over the months I went he never got it. He always complained about how expensive it was to live there & how he was always low on money. However I knew that my mom earns less than him & can still manage to pay for rent as a single mom whilst taking me on yearly holidays through her extensive budgeting & money management. My dad complained about how bad his work is, how they don’t pay him enough & how he could lose his job any day due to unpredictable new management. I suggested that since he’s such a good employee why doesn’t he look for other jobs that pay him sufficiently? Dad immediately declined & expressed how he thinks his work should promote him or at least give him a raise even though he’s never asked for one. One day when I was packing to go back to my moms house he helped me. While I walked out the door he passed me my 3DS & mentioned he borrowed $50 from me because he needed to pay rent & assumed I’d be okay with it since I don’t want him to be “homeless”. He promised he would pay me back & never did. At 13 I stopped seeing him but still kept in touch with my grandparents. Through the grapevine I’ve heard he’s moved back in with his parents & now has a girlfriend. My grandparents even tried to convince me to see him because he has a girlfriend which made him a “better man”. Welp, this just turned into a rant about my dad. Still, it’s a RUclips comment section so it’s likely the only people that’ll see this are bots.
I learned early on not to take gifts or free things from men when some random dude sent a bouquet of chocolates to my sister early in the morning on March 8th. I remember I was a teenager we both were freshmen uni students. On that day we were with our mom when someone delivered that arrangement to our doorstep. Days later that guy started stalking my sister and when my cousin's friend spotted a particularly bad moment, my brothers got alerted and talked to the guy. Guess what he told my cousin: "but she took the gift, bro". From that day on I don't take gits from men.
What a horrible experience and an unfortunate lesson. I’m glad your sister was physically ok although I’m sure mentally and emotionally shaken.
I think this is why every girl needs a big brother and every guy needs a little sister.
Male or female , psycho's are psycho's
@@davidguidry657 My best friend growing up had an older brother who was a complete psycho and acted like all of his sister’s friends should be his own personal harem. Unfortunately, having a sister doesn’t automatically make a guy understand or respect women.
yeah. don't take gifts from strangers. good rule. if you are not in a relationship, don't take things from them. 100%
@@karencotlar2023 that’s true. I have a large family (seven kids; 6 boys, 1 sister) and my sister was the second to last so she has a few older brothers. All of us would defend her to the death if need be and yet at least one or two of us have less than stellar reputations when it comes to respecting women. With the proper guidance, it is easier for someone who has a sense of protection for someone else to extend that protection to others was what I was trying to suggest.
I don’t mean to pry or be rude (and you certainly don’t need to answer) but is it possible that there were unusual circumstances that led your brother to behave that way? The absence of a strong, positive male role model for example? I may be off base and if I am I apologize but that has been my anecdotal experience.
I am still so traumatized from a date in my early 20s I never let the guy pay until i know him enough to trust him. It's always 50/50.
Imagine thinking you're such a prince for buying a girl a $3 burger..what a psycho
same 😔
Victim status.
The first story is only one of many reasons why I always pay for my own meal. I don’t care if it’s my guy friend of 15 years or my girl friend of many years. I’m going to pay for my own food because people hold it against others. I love giving to people but I don’t ever want to owe anyone anything.
The wildest part to me about that story about the guy meeting the girl And going home with her and they read the fortunes is The fact that his fortune actually seems pretty accurate. I like he already said he hops from woman to woman, and that was basically what the fortune was saying the butterfly just goes from flower to flower and moves on.
where did he say he hops from woman to woman?
@@youknownothingjohnsnow7475 "she asked how often I go into girls houses like this, which was shamefully often at the time" or something close to that. Also he said they had sex, and anyone willing to do that with someone that psycho while being made to sleep on cat bones will literally have sex with anything lol
That girl that went out with the dude off of Tinder that tried to abduct her should have contacted Tinder to let them know and then made a police report. You should always expose these kind of men so maybe the next person doesn't get hurt or die. There is a responsibility for us women to look out for each other because there are so many predator's out there.
Or you can just make up the entire story for Internet clout.
@@John-tr5hn Not everyone cares about being popular on the internet. Some people are just telling their story. Not everything is fake.
@@John-tr5hn this kind of history is too common and happen too often to be worth made up.
I did NOT have a date with this guy, we just hung out while traveling. We went to some peninsula in NZ with his car, and he ended up paying for everything. However, beforehand we said we'd split everything, so I just told him to tell me what I owed him for the food & gass afterwards. He kept saying stuff like we'll see. When he was supposed to take me back he told me that he lived between the peninsula and the city I was living in, and if I wanted to come join him to have drinks at his place. I told him no and that I'd like to be taken back please. Then he said well, I'll actually pass my place so it's better if you stay with me. Mind you, there's not a lot of public transport over there and it was dark so I started freaking out a bit but kept my calm and said thanks for the offer but I'd like to go back home. I started texting my roommates and send them my live location, telling them to come and get me once it stopped moving. Then he had the AUDACITY to say: actually I paid for all of your food. You can't be surprised that you owe me something now. I said drive me to the nearest ATM right this minute and I'll pay, just like we agreed on. I don't owe you aaaanything. He got cranky and drove me home. I don't think the car even really stopped yet when I fled out the second I saw my house. He even texted me after he had a good time and send me the pictures he took. Creepy af.
Charlotte, talking about the girl who said “learn from my mistakes” about her getting in the car with her date. I am majoring in criminal justice which is a lot of criminology, psychology, sociology, and something called “victimology”. I was disgusted to even hear it was a thing they teach future law students/enforcers. It’s all about what the victim could’ve done to prevent a crime. From leaving ur car unlocked and getting it stolen to girls walking to their cars alone at night. It grosses me out everytime we “learn” about it but just reminded me of that.😢
you should totally do a "Utah dating horror stories" I live in Utah and was mormon so I can tell you that you will have an entire series on it LOL
Keep up the great work! :D
I once had a first date with a guy who started making rape jokes after about 30 minutes. The guy and girl he was talking about were walking their dog, that I said was adorable. They were minors ob top of that. Big NOPE
wtf
@@rah1735 my thoughts exactly
Yikes.
I went on a date with a gent a few years older than me (late twenties). However, things went weird fast when he started explaining he was not a human, but a "higher being" who stood above humans and mocked them and their lowliness. He was looking for "his human bride" to be his "queen" and felt very strongly that I was the one he would choose. He then continued to talk about how life had treated him terribly, including how he technically had a degree but the school closed and he never bothered looking for a new one, so it was their fault he never finished, which is why he worked a call center job with "lowly humans" whose lives he wanted to ruin when he got to "full power." He also casually mentioned how he had fallen off a tower when he was a teen and had brain damage but he insisted that had nothing to do with his higher status!! I'd finally had enough and said I didn't think this would work out, to which he tried to convince me otherwise by "using logic" to show I was wrong and we should be together, usually by repeating "I like you, and you aren't seeing anyone, so we should be together." I said no thanks, got home, and blocked him.
What a weirdo! He’s even stranger than the guy who once told me that he was becoming a Buddhist “against his will” 🙄
Yikes!
So many serial killer stories include a brain injury when they were younger. Yikes.
But you could have been queen! How can you turn that down? lmao.
I kind of feel bad for the guy, but you definitely dodged a bullet there.
@@Victor-mm2jb lmao! Maybe I could put it on a resume. "Former candidate for queendom of some dude's fantasy life. Also pls hire me pls"
You are so right on that first one. The whole conversation needs to change just as you say.
That first girl. Omg that is scary. If that door wasn’t unlocked, that ending would’ve/ or could’ve turned out tragically different.
This was not a date, but scary!!! I was helping out at my BIL’s BBQ restaurant. It had a pick up window. These guys pulled up (already drunk), they wanted a case of beer, which I gave them, they paid and then started pulling me through the window, I started yelling for the guys, I was half out the window (they wanted me to come party with them…😳). One of my co workers grabbed my legs, the other ran outside to catch the idiots. They dropped me, and took off. I was scared, thanks to M & G…my hero’s!!!
Oh my god! Glad you’re ok!
How terrifying! I’m glad you had people who could help you and that you’re okay.
😳 I’m so glad you had people to help you and that your safe. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Jesus wtf is wrong with some dudes?
Wtf would you act like a caveman tryna claim a mate by clubbin a woman over the head and draggin her unconscious body back to his cave or whatever tf rock he crawled out from under?
That's some gross af, desperately thirsty ass shit!
They clearly have absolutely no WILLING options!
And they really just out there tellin on themselves!
Gtfoh with that micro D energy!
OMG, that's so scary and insane. YET if they'd have been caught I'm guessing nothing would have happened. It would have been dismissed as 'oh, they were drunk' OR 'they were just playing' OR 'you can't ruin their lives!'. We need to stop enabling bullshit like this!
Holy cow, wtf? My biggest dating nightmare was going out with a woman who ignored me the entire night and flirted with some random guy she met, then acted confused when I got angry and left early (we had been dating for a few months at that point). These stories all put mine to shame. What is wrong with people that think it's okay to act like this?
I will say, the cat bones story is amazing. I wish someone would turn that story into a movie.
If you're a man, well let me explain this way: Most men's worst date is an entitled Karen or someone really disrespectful or a gold digger or a mix of all three. The extreme ones are the dangerous and creepy ones.
Most women's worst date experience is we either almost got assaulted/raped/murdered/kidnapped or it actually happened.
It should be a horror film!!! 📽️😂
There is the one where the woman, it is a popular game for some women, will claim to be terribly offended over something. She will not say what it is but will give the man hell over it and nothing he can do or say will make any difference. She won't however, just walk away since that would spoil her game, she likes the power play.
@@grahvis That's pretty sucky but still better than getting assaulted/raped/murdered.
@@atreq .
True but emotional abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse.
It’s our responsibility to protect ourselves from creeps. Creeps gonna creep. There are good people out there!
On my 15th birthday I found out my partner at the time had been cheating on me, as a way to "prove he loved me" he asked me to mary him. I turned him down he called the police and told them I was a suicide risk, spent the night running from the police with two of my friends. The next day he called me to ask me to meet him so he can talk and so we can sort this out. I agreed. Safe to say I broke his nose and never spoke to him again xx
NGL, did not see the "broke his nose" coming, and it made me laugh out loud. I would say l don't condone violence but, in his case l'd be lying as, it sounds well deserved.
I'm with Charlotte. How IS that our fault? I keep my location on when I'm on potential dates and tell friends where I'm going, in case something happens. I keep a knife on me at all times. Normally I get out of scary situations but there could be a time where I'm not so lucky!
Although I agree with your safety steps and the knife, it makes me realize what we women have to do and feel, to go out on dates? Dangerous endeavors.
Charlotte is right. Why does society blame women for not assuming all men are predators???
@Brad1980 try being a woman. If I'm about to get abducted, I'm protecting myself. I'm small and fighting someone off is difficult. Fuck off. Furthermore, I didn't say I USE the knife. I never have; it's just a precautionary thing. I keep it on me at all times regardless if I'm on a date with a random stranger or going on a walk.
I never leave the house without a can of deodorant because where I am pepper spray is illegal but deodorant isn't and I know first hand how much that shit stings (yes I've accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes I learnt from the mistake and evolved it) 😂
Though I will say you should never pick up a weapon you don't know how to use because it can easily be taken away and used against you (I've done self defence since I was 8 I'm 27 now)
@@LucyStokesOceansofNotions Amen
The first story is another one of those things that bothers me about other men. I can't give a count on how many women I know have come up to me in a bar and asked me to help them because a guy bought them a drink and now expected some Hunka Chunka for it. Some have ended in the guy bleeding on the sidewalk, most have ended with my friend being walked to her car by about 30 pissed off men and women from the bar.
I wish there were more men like you. I had to do that a couple times out at a bar and the guy that bought me a drink tried ungentlemanly stuff right in front of everyone!
@@jessieh9127 I'm nothing special. I don't understand the "I bought you a drink, so you owe me" mentality" It's creepy and really unsettling.
It's sad, but it's really not a good idea to accept a free drink these days. Too many guys act like it entitles them to something. It's a shame, because it was a decent icebreaker.
@@bellou72 I waited until I talked to them and needed one for myself. "Can I get this one for you?" It always seemed to work better.
My dating horror story: I dated a Coast Guard guy I met through Tinder back in 2016. His name is Chester. He was going to transfer to California from a different state, can't remember which one, but they had offered him a position that had just opened up in Puerto Rico and he took it. Because the offer had been given to him about a day or 2 prior to him leaving to California, his things were already in route to California, so he had to get them transferred over to PR. Until then, he was going to sleep at the base until his things arrived. Things were great during the date so we went out a couple more times. Ended up dating for like 3 more weeks. We texted every day and got to see each other on weekends to hang out and continue to get to know each other. The Coast Guard had an event once a year during the summer and it happened to start on a Thursday that was coming up. That very same weekend, I happened to be off from work because I was going to help my dad during a convention and the hotel was close by to the Coast Guard. He told me that Thursday he was going to be super busy, which was understandable, so we planned to meet up during the weekend and he was going to introduce me to his friends. Please note he had given me the name of the event and I did Google it and it was true. THIS is where things went horrible. He disappeared. Not a peep. I was worried the entire weekend about him because we chatted every day and since he had just moved, I thought something happened to him. Some of the events revolved being in the ocean, which is why I got worried. He finally messaged me on Monday. Turns out he was "fine" and had lost his phone because he got plastered drunk and someone found his phone that morning. I swear the story he gave me was so believable that even my best friend believed him. I was a little skeptical, but decided to give him a chance. I wish I hadn't. About a month goes by and we decided to just be friends but we still would see each other every now and then. He even got to meet another friend of mine. Another month goes by, and something told me to look him up on Facebook and check everything because something didn't feel right. He has it super blocked but you could still see his profile picture. I read the comments and saw a lady had commented on his new picture and she had his last name, so I thought sister. Boy was I wrong. Not only was this guy married to this lady, he also had a 1 year old son with her! And when I confronted him about it, he told me he had just found out about his son and that the mom kept it from him and that they had just gotten married, all while still seeing me on the side! I called him out on his BS because I looked her up on Facebook and they had been married since 2014! I stopped talking to him after that. And he tried to message me 3 years later on FB! That's when I blocked him.
Your first response os 100% perfect. Thank you.
Victim blaming is real and its bullshit
It wasn't a date, but a girl I had been friends with in Middle School looked me up when I was in college, I was 18 at time, because she wanted to hang out. We had been pretty good friends before, so I agreed. She offered to drive, which was fine with me so she picked me up. We went to a bar and grill type place that had those trivia games and her other friends were there, too. We played trivia and had dinner and it was pretty fun.
After, she invited me to hang out at the house where she was living. She rented a room from a family, and she let me know they were away on vacation. I said sure because it was still early. While we were hanging out, she revealed the owner of the house was extremely picky so we had to be very clean and cautious with everything in the house. So we hung out for about and hour or two on the back patio, then I told her I wanted to go home. She said that she thought I was spending the night and we were having a sleepover. This had never been discussed. I told her I didn't have anything with me for an overnight, I didn't even have my toothbrush. She then offered to go buy one for me. I told her I really didn't want to stay and wanted to go home but she refused to drive me home. I was pretty naïve back then and was unsure what to do. Cell phones weren't a big thing yet, so I didn't have one, and I didn't know what to do (but after this event my dad told me I should have called him to come get me, which is true but I didn't think of it at the time.)
She led me to her room and wanted me to sleep with her on her twin bed. I was not comfortable with that. So, I said I would sleep on the floor in the hallway, which I did for a while. But it was very uncomfortable, so I went into the master bedroom and slept on the foot of the bed. It was extremely uncomfortable to be sleeping on a stranger's bed but also the "the owner is very picky" thing made it worse. I was completely creeped out by my friend so no way I was going into her room. In the morning she drove me home and we never spoke again. I always feel like she wanted a romantic relationship with me and was hoping we could reconnect and hook up, but I can't be sure if that's true or not, but either way I wasn't interested. It just seems weird to kidnap a friend for a surprise sleepover. 🤷♀
Wow! I would have been traumatized if I were you 😬. I'm happy you got out safely 😅.
It ALWAYS falls on the woman. ALWAYS!! It's never the guy's fault. Still in 2022, we're dealing with this bullshit!! So sad.
And anytime you turn a guy down, they immediately insult you and say they didn't want you anyway. There's zero maturity in these situations anymore.
It's wild how it's our fault & no one ever says, "wow, that guy shouldn't have acted like a total creep."
Why do women have to be extra careful???
I talk to my friend on the phone when I walk home. It used to be because of coyotes. Now it’s because of how often I hear gunshots in my neighborhood.
A previous roommate (at a previous apartment) once called as she was walking home from work, asking one of the guy roommates to meet her. She was being followed by a creepy older guy in a creepy car that “could easily fit four bodies in the trunk”. She took a shortcut, and started *sprinting* One of the guys did meet her… rather, he got to the corner, hears her running as fast as she can go, and she slams into him, sobbing. We never walked to or from work alone again!
I had a situation where I was chatting to a guy online. After a few weeks, we chatted about going on a date. He suddenly asked "how about tonight?" Being the spontaneous girl I was, I got ready. He drove an hour and a half to the town I lived in. Naive me said yes when he offered to go on a drive. We chatted in the car a little, but there was no chemistry. We soon realised we'd gotten lost (this was before sat navs were readily available), and had to go by signs for towns I knew the rough location of. Suddenly, I heard a beeping noise and my date mutter something under his breath. As I was trying to give directions, his hearing aids died, and he had no spare batteries on him. The drive back was so awkward.
My bestie set me up on a blind date because I “needed to get out more” and he was “a really nice guy”. I was maybe 19-20 and he was 32-35ish, a fact she forgot to share. She also forgot to mention he’d recently been released from prison, had two kids (super sweet, but STILL), and depended on his mother to drive him around. He flashed his cash and insisted on taking me to Red Lobster because of how sophisticated his taste was (yuuupppp). We had to walk across the street after dinner to the hardware store so he could pick up gloves for his work, even though we were due to see The Dark Knight (I lived in Chicago during its filming and got to be on set for a few minutes so this was a big deal to me). He then drops this bombshell: “I hate Harrison Ford. And I don’t like Star Wars.” I was SO AGHAST that I texted my EX with an SOS. He doubted I needed help until I told him what Blind Date said. Ex was like “where are you, I’m coming to get you.” 😂 But dammit my need to see Dark Knight for free (date paid) was too great. Loved the movie. Ghosted the guy. Got back with my ex, the Real MVP. We’re still together years later 😂❤
I remember one date during my junior year of high school. My cousin set us up (we knew each other since kindergarten but went to different schools but i often visitedmy aunts church where he attended) because she knew I had been through a bad breakup and wanted to help me get my confidence back. The date went ok we went to a movie (Sweeny Todd) and then pizza. After the date he was supposed to drop me off at my aunts and leave. He stops not far from my aunts mailbox and parks the car but wouldn't unlock the door. He told me he would after I "do my part"....yeah no. I wasn't having it but I made him think I was game. I reached between his legs and twisted his bits and squeezed them like a orange( I like to cal it the "nutcracker "/"negotiator "). I then gave him the option of unlocking the door and let me go or lose his cherries....he let me go. The minute I got out I made a beeline for my aunt's house and told my cousin to get our cousin (the sheriff's deputy). Long and short the guy was a grade A creeper. My cousin was horrified and I never go on blind dates anymore 🙃
Excellent response to that situation! Good on you for reporting him to a LEO too. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you handled it well. I wish I had acted more like you when a guy got fresh with me. I got away, but one of my regrets in life was not rearranging his face or family jewels.
It amazes me how creeps are still creeps with people they know somehow, like in your case, where you had a lot of common acquaintances 😕 And they say we should be careful with strangers, with men we just met, not all man my ass 😡
Omg the nutcracker, you are awesome.
I am so glad you were able to squeeze common sense back into that AH!! In my experience I of course have had stranger danger experiences and had been lucky to get out of the situation. BUT it has always been someone close to me that has actually done something to me. And by close I meant men I have known for Years/decade every damn time!!! It's so F'd up that I was always so aware of stranger danger and aware of my surroundings that the people I had loved and trusted were wolves in sheep's clothing.
There really needs to be a "rate my date" national database to track this ish. Like a guy comes over and chats you up and you can pull up his yelp review instantly and get stories like that first one. Or you'll get ones like my last date where the rating is, "zero chemistry but no complaints, would recommend to someone else, seems sane and respectful."
Call it Whisper Network.
I don't know if that would work. There are girls who lie because he wasn't really into her or guys who didn't get what they wanted lie and say nasty things about the girl while she was just trying to be a moral human being. I'm not sure how trustworthy that would be.
I agree!
All this was predicted in "Amazon Women on the Moon" in 1987 Lol
There is no way if the reviews are honest or just people wanting to hurt someone. Not a good idea.
I had a guy that I was talking to, more giving him a chance to be nice. He PASSED my exit to my home and drove to his apartment. I screamed at him the whole way and in the parking lot. Luckily someone called the cops and they took me home.. men 🙃
I laughed my ass off at the "cat bone" story!😂
I’ve got one. I was 19, so pretty naïve when I met a guy we’ll call Bob (age 25). I met him at the community college I was attending, and even though he wasn’t the most attractive guy, he seemed nice. Bob was quite charismatic, and liked a lot of the things I did.
He turned out to be a sex addict. I didn’t want sex, but Bob kept pushing my boundaries trying to get me to do more and more. He would make comments about how I was using my body language and such to “ask for it”. I was too scared to break up with him because he literally lived in the same building.
My breaking point came when he took me out one night in his truck. Bob said he wanted to drive out to the sand dunes just out of town. What I didn’t know was that those dunes were an hour out of town, and there was no cell service in the area. He got his truck “stuck”, and after a few minutes of theatrics, he announced we would have to wait until morning for someone to find us. I won’t go into details, but I got so close to being date raped.
Honest to God, I have NO memory of how I got back, but I did. The first thing I did was call my dad, and asked him to come get me, which he immediately did. I dropped out of my classes for the semester, and transferred to a different school a thousand miles away.
I found out later that Bob had a thing for younger girls, and was guilty of molesting minors.
Really sucks you went through that. Hoping you’re doing better 🤍
Went on a blind date. Told the guy ahead of time that I was a plus sized woman. He didn't seem to have a problem with that. To be safe, we met at a club where some guys I worked with were partying - always nice to have backup. The guy comes in, I figured out it was him, and I introduced myself with a smile. He could not have looked more disappointed. It took all of 5 minutes of just staring into our drinks to realize this was not happening. I told him I had to go spend time with my friends but that it was nice meeting him. He bolted! What a jackass.
I went on a blind date with “a Navy boy”.
My roommate in college dated a guy who went to the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Md. She didn’t drive and wanted to see him. I offered to drive her if I could bring a friend because I didn’t want to be the third wheel. I brought a friend from high school and we all had a great time. My roommate’s boyfriend showed us around campus a little and around the downtown area of Annapolis. About a couple weeks later she said her boyfriend thought I was fun and wanted to know if I would be willing to go on a blind date with his roommate. I was told he was “really nice”. 😳
He was shy and his friends wanted to get him a date for the “Ring dance”. (It’s a big deal in the Junior year, because the student just committed to serving the country for 4 years in exchange for a free college education. Up until then he/she can change his/her mind about serving in the Navy. However, if he/she does decide not to join then he/she is required to pay back the money the Naval Academy has spent on the student’s education up to that point.) The Ring Dance is basically a fancy dance, think prom but with a catered dinner, and the midshipman (student) and his/her date together dip his/her class ring on a ribbon into waters from the seven seas during a photo session. So the blind date was set up to see if I liked him enough to go to the fancy dance with him.
First blind date was a double with our roommates, to make us more comfortable. It was a little awkward, but we had fun. We walked around the mall and went to Jillian’s, a video game place/restaurant for adults. Chatted over AIM for a couple weeks and then he invited me up to see a play at his school. He gave me a VERY detailed tour around the Naval Academy (~2 hours), took me to a nice Seafood restaurant for dinner, and then we saw the play (The Pajama Game). I kept hinting for him to put his arm around me and he didn’t until the last 30 minutes. He walked me to my car to say goodbye. I kissed him and he just stood there! But he gave me a long hug and told me to message him when I got back to school so he would know I was safe.
I freaked out the whole way back (90 minute drive) thinking he didn’t like me and I was too forward etc. Get back to school and NO COMMENT from my roommate. She set everything up, so I was sure she would grill me about it. After 15-20 minutes she finally can’t stand it and bursts out, “So I heard you kissed him!!!” I found out later, it was his first kiss. He didn’t know what to do so he kinda froze. But said he felt like he was walking on air the whole way back to his room. Apparently he was so happy he told his roommate who promptly messaged his girlfriend. So my roommate found out I kissed “my blind date” probably 5-10 minutes after it happened. 😂
He’s now a Commander in the Navy; served for roughly 17 years at this point. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 kids. He just came back from a 5 month deployment. 2 days after he got home all 3 kids and me caught really severe sinus infections. He just immediately took over. Took each child individually to the doctor and pharmacy (there was a day or two delay between each person getting symptoms). He dropped off and picked up the kids from school, made meals, doled out medicine, checked on me multiple times per day, and he never complained. I jokingly asked him if he was happy he was home. He said, “Yeah, I’m glad to be home. And I’m also happy that I am here, to take care of you and the kids.”🥺🥰
GREAT point on the first one!! I always try to point that out when I can as well!
Never ever, ever a person's fault for not expecting to be so terribly unsafe or to be feeling completely trapped...not THEIR weight to bear...especially in a situation that should be fairly lighthearted, enjoyable, liberating, potentially relationship-building (a date) and is such a common thing for humans to participate in as the social creatures that we are...
I've been dating again for about a year now, and the horror stories from women is insane. And I mean it's not like I didn't already know, but literally every single woman I've dated has had multiple ranging from "super creepy" to "shoulda pressed charges." Don't get me wrong, I have stories too, but generally nothing worse than getting used for a free meal or just blatantly neurotic behavior, and nothing nearly as bad as some of the stories they've told me. It's so disheartening, even from an outside perspective.
Bad dates can happen to both sexes but most men don't have to worry about being overpowered and raped.
@@j.h.3777 Yes, that was my point.
You used the term "blatantly neurotic behavior" for a reason, meaning a lot of the stories could be really overexaggerated or flat out BS. I went on a date with a girl who told me all these horrendous dating stories, just to tell me at the end "that was great", it was the first date she had been on since her and her first BF, so either she lied about the stories or lied about not dating after her very first BF. From what I've gathered these "stories" are just a way of making interesting conversation and a multi prong tool for reasons that may trigger people if I say.
@@clarkey661 Those were separate thoughts, and not at all what I meant. As a 36 year old man, I'm probably an outlier in Charlotte's demographic, but I have been hearing these kinds of things my entire life. That you're so easy to dismiss those stories as "interesting conversation" is horseshit, and you might want to take a step back and reevaluate yourself. What you "gather" from a paragraph-long youtube comment doesn't mean shit. Smelling a strong incel stench coming off of you.
@@clarkey661 or she simply doesn't count the horrible ones as dates. It's a coping mechanism. Some people do this to avoid trauma with specific things they like. You should search it up.
Charlotte you are so right. It's not the victims fault. I never wished having you as my friend more before. I'm sick of our victim blaming culture and it feels good to see that you'r not part of that. Thank you for using your channel to educate your 1m follower on that! I love you.
Who cares whose fault it is? Would you rather be a "wrong" person whom nothing bad happened to, or a victim who was "right"?
@@John-tr5hn Well you sound ridiculous
Exactly!!!!
These were amazing!
One of my bad date stories.....
I was in my early twenties, 22 or so, met a guy online who claimed to be 25 who was actually 45 and was using pictures from his youth.
After meeting up and me almost not recognizing him due to him looking so different, he claimed that it was a test to see if women were as shallow as he had previously experienced. Wow, what a great start to the evening...
He took me to a play, where he proceeded to stare at my feet the entire time while licking his lips and talking loudly about how he's always had a thing for young ladies with pretty feet. He continued being foot focused for the next 2 hours while I dreamed of ways to escape the situation.
Afterwards he asked me to come home with him so he could be more attentive with my feet and "show me what I've been missing from a real man"
I told him not only do I not go home with people that I don't know, I definitely don't know him because he tried to Claim to be someone else! I turned him down and told him to never call me again. He didn't listen but I never talked to him after that.
Yes, you are responsible for your own safety. I am, you are, everyone is. It's always wise to have an escape plan.
I just remembered the creepiest "date" - which was a date I didn't even know was one? Back then meeting people from online was still very new, so I only went to bigger fan meetings of forums I was a long member of. During one of those big meetings, I met another member of that forum and it was just a nice day, talking with friends and new friends. After some time I wanted to go home and he (he was a year younger than me, I think) offered to bring me (which meant he'd just walk me home and ride the train with me) and I enjoyed the talks we had so I agreed, thinking he'd turn back at the station. But he didn't and instead wanted to walk me to my door. It was in the middle of the day and I was living with my family, so I agreed, thinking he'd turn back then. But he didn't and instead CAME INSIDE TO MEET MY PARENTS. During the last walk up to my home he also talked about...how he keeps training his body and that he thinks his body is sexy and I don't even know how or why we talked about that. Soooo my mom is nice and asks him stuff (but she's surprised I brought someone without notice), she offers him something to drink and I use the chance to tell her that he's kind of creeping me out when we go to the kitchen to prepare the drinks. She tried to make him leave by saying that we'd go out to visit our family's friend soon, but it took her over 1.5 hours to actually make him leave... That was my horror-date-I-didn't-even-know-was-a-date XD
Thankfully you had your mom with you! What a sense of entitlement this guys had! 😲
what? it took a grown ass woman 90minutes to kick out someone creeping out her daughter? should have been done in 5...
This happened a long time ago, but here goes: after messaging back and forth with a guy I met on EHarmony, we decided to go a relatively low key first date: coffee. On my way there he changed the date from coffee to a smoothie (seemingly harmless enough) so, I met him at a smoothie place near the coffeehouse. Once we sat down with our smoothies I made some statement like, “so, you’re not that into coffee, huh?” And he replied, “no. When I need a pick me up I prefer something a bit different, a bit more natural.” I joked and said, “oh, so you’re a tea drinker then?”, just trying to keep the conversation going, but things got weird fast. He said, “no, not tea either. When I need a pick me up, a line or two will do”. I was dumbfounded. According to his profile, he was a religious guy (same as me) who lived a clean cut lifestyle and even worked as a corrections officer. I didn’t have words and before I could reply, he went on to invite me to join him and his boys for a trip to a casino for “the weekend of a lifetime”. When I declined and told him that this wasn’t going to work out since we clearly want different things, he looked me in my eyes and said, “gotcha”. Seeing my confusion he went on to say that this was all a test to see if I was one of those hypocritical or a judgmental religious women. I ended the date immediately. Can you believe that?! Needless to say, his test backfired, and I never spoke to him again.
It probably wasn’t a “test”. He was just trying to cover his a$$ when you declined. Creep.
Idk, I figured out a test on your third sentence. We could've found some common ground with that guy, I guess..
Ugh, the old "I was kidding" b.s.?!!🤢
Coffee isn't natural? It's as natural as cocaine, I suppose, but not as harmful to the body (although caffeine is highly addictive too).
I don’t get it…. He wanted to do coke and gang bang?
Story #1: Abduction is a crime. Report his ass. You're not his first victim and you certainly won't be his last. Help yourself and his other victims and potential victims and make sure he's held accountable for his violent crimes.
I thought that..the police would be my first call otherwise I guarantee he will find someone else ..why would she not report that that’s insane
Lmfaoooo I can’t with the “I fluttered away and never saw her again” 🤣🤣🤣 I absolutely lost it at that part I even spit out my cereal I was eating
In high school, went on a date with the son of my aunt's friend. I'd met him when we were both younger and he was nice back then so I thought no big deal. We walked around the mall before our movie started (as you used to do). He was trying give off Very Nice Boy TM vibes but then we ran into a friend of his who started going on & on about the "sick shrooms" he'd had the other day and how the guy I was on the date with missed out. Dude I'm with is trying to shut him up but I'm just listening thinking, "oh, I see how it is." After the movie he tried to take me parking in his snazzy convertible. Drove us out to a secluded spot to "look at stars", pulled the "oh, if you're cold I have a blanket in the back". I was young & naïve so I didn't cotton on at first. Once I did, I "accidentally" spilled soda all over his white leather seats. "Oh, gosh, so sorry. Hey, we can use that blanket to soak this up. Guess we'd better head back before it dries too much." Never heard from him again. Pretty sure HE thinks he ghosted ME, 100% sure I dodged a bullet.
I remember being in the dating pool a couple years ago, 1yr post separation and I met this guy. Thought we were vibing, I even give him one of my antique cameras because he has a collection and I wasn’t doing anything with it. Fast forward a couple weeks in and we plan a weekend to get to know each other more and watch a show. I struggle with sex in relationships because I spent 8 years married to someone who guilted me anytime I said no. I told him this, that I didn’t want to have sex, that my intentions were to go slow.
Bro LOST IT. He had apparently thought the entire weekend was gonna be sex and watching TV. I explained to him why I stood where I did, only to be met with MORE ANGER and “You should really put that you’re Asexual in your profiles.” HAH.
Like BUDDY, me not wanting to have sex with you doesn’t make me asexual. It means I don’t want to have sex with you.
Now, because I wasn’t seriously thinking about anything long-term and had that in my profiles; that I’d been married a long time and I’m not interested in anything permanent… I was talking to my (now) partner. I was sending him screenshots of this conversation like “Be glad no one really swipe so guys because this is what getting matches is actually like.”
Anyway, dodging a feckin’ bullet, I block him across all platforms and focus on the person I’d been sending screenshots to. Him and I click pretty intensely and we decide to focus on us and stop dating around. But we each kept the apps, just in case as we both had been through the ringer in terms of the dating apps…
Cut to THREE WEEKS LATER and bro who got mad at me for setting boundaries messages me on Hinge under a different profile with a long ass paragraph about how he messed up, that he was just frustrated… I replied with “You sure did! Bye!” And promptly told my current partner about it, we laughed and decided to delete the apps altogether that day.
We’re celebrating 2 years together in October.
That first girl reminds me of a guy I met years ago (before internet dating sites). I told him off the bat that I didn’t see him in a romantic way whatsoever and all I could offer was just friendship. He said ok. But he still tried to make it more than it was. One time he offered me a ride home and I told him to leave me at the corner, that I’ll walk. Ok. One day I get home from work, looking through my mail. I happened to look out the window and I see him walking up and down the sidewalk. I immediately dropped to the floor. I could hear him asking the neighbors if they knew me. They all told him no. I never went outside nor socialized with the neighbors so they never knew my name and of course that’s why they told him they didn’t know who he was talking about. There was a bat by the door and I wanted to go out and beat the crap out of him, but if I did, then he would for sure know where I lived. So I army crawled my ass to the kitchen and stayed there. Needless to say, I cut al ties with him. If he couldn’t get through his head I didn’t like him like that, then he needed to go for good.
Met a guy when out with my friends. He was great on our first date and because we were both students at the same university and shared friends I felt safe to let him drive me home. We were messaging after and I mentioned that I would be moving back home after university, to which he replied "I don't want to start loving you before you leave". After more clingy conversation I distanced myself kindly from him being honest about not feeling the vibe anymore and we agreed to not go out anymore.
Sometime later he messaged me one night to hang out and I told him no, saying I was studying. My friends came over to help me and when they arrived I saw a car pull up outside. They stayed half an hour then left, when I got to my room (bottom floor, front room) I saw a light of a car locking outside my window and a knock. It was the guy, he said hi and let himself in my house telling me he was there to help me (wasn't on my course or similar) he also told me he had been waiting for my friends to leave and was in that car infront of my bedroom. To be honest he was a man toddler who just wanted attention and up until that point I had been far too nice.
I kicked him out my house and told him never to come back or talk to me again. I did see him once after on a night out and when he tried to ask me out again I got my bouncer friends on the door to have a word with him.
So glad I've survived dating and happily in a relationship now, this was one of many experiences I had dating and I'm glad it's over. This was the worst, the guy tbh wasn't dangerous he was just desperate but his psycho killer moves were terribly frightening.
I'm going to reiterate what Charlotte said - It is NOT a woman's fault; we are not ASKING for IT. Men need to learn to behave like decent human beings.
The cat bones must truly bring her good luck lol the fact that you didn't instantly leave even to walk 300 hours to get home. That's some magic I am pretty sure 😂
Charlotte, you are 100% right. We shouldn't have to ask for safety or prepare. The perpetrators should take all the blame.
I was a child of the 70’s, teenager of the 80’s (before cellphones) My grandparents were adamant that I carry enough change in my pocket (for a pay phone)“in case” (a date went bad, my purse was stolen etc) I won’t go into all the details, but, I honestly believe, that tidbit of wisdom imparted on me by my grandparents saved, if not my life, great bodily harm!! I totally get the tuck and roll🤷🏻♀️ My Papa was also the one who taught me how to change my tires and other “basic” car maintenance because he “never wanted me at the mercy of a strange man on the side of the road”! I did the same with my daughters (before they could drive they had to learn this) Ladies I can’t emphasize this enough!! Please learn this/these skills! You may never need them, but the accomplishment you feel knowing how and possibly saving yourself from an ugly encounter is worth the little bit of time it takes to learn!!
I can't even imagine how terrifying it must be to be a woman dating.
Trans guy who has now seen both sides of the situation culturally. It's really bad for women. I've gained a lot of privilege but the biggest is my feeling of safety. I've seen well meaning men here posting about threat assessment and situational awareness. It's not bad advice because of the reality of the world. But imagine as a man forcing yourself to assess how likely it is that every man you meet may attack you? Imagine every man you meet outweighs you by 50lbs, is 6 inches taller, and you have to concern yourself with whether or not they will want to r---e you? This is the reality for women and I can say that now I don't experience it, it is far more horrible than you can imagine.
@Brad1980 where are you living? under a rock?
@Brad1980 You're all over people's comment threads trying to push your own world view on everyone else. Just stop dude. Live and let live.
I think I'd be a nun if I were a woman. And I'm not even Christian.
Hey, it's no fun for guys either.
My dating horror story: Dude had a *loud* argument on the phone with his baby mama with me right next to him… I even gave him the opportunity to have privacy to talk to her before he picked up the phone, but he insisted I stayed. Worst thing was I agreed with his baby mama and thought he was wrong in the situation 🥴 needless to say, we never spoke again…
I got a horrible date story. My first date with this guy I went to high school with started off pretty good, his parents friends had a barn party with a live band, big buffet with BBQ, and trampoline in a small room for kids. It was his parents, him and myself. The date started out great with him introducing me to a lot of people that called me pretty, I felt happy to go with him. We started to eat when he started doing origami dragons out of his napkins. I sat there next to him at first intrigued by the paper art but as time when on it was a drag. I sat there most of the night listening to him talk for hours while I spaced out watching the older married couples in the dance floor dance, laugh and have fun. My dates dad was the one to tell him “Dance with her boy” I loved that he knew what I wanted to do. After hearing from his father to dance with me he asked me in a dumbfounded way like it was something he’d never guessed. After he took me to the dance floor we danced around at first not knowing how then starting to have fun, however between each song he wants to make more paper dragons. We decided later on to jump on the trampoline after all the little kids had gotten off which I was all game for. After jumping and getting tired he hugged me tight. I then asked him what made him ask me out, he then responded with “My friends told me you have a tongue piercing” I was shocked but dates him another month before he dumped me. 5 years later I’m with the love of my life who I met in middle school and we’ve been together for two years and have been engaged for months.
The first story is exactly why I always pay for my share of a meal on a date. A lot of "nice guys" have the same mindset and I'm not giving these men a chance. I'm so glad she was so smart and pulled that exit out safely