KYLIE & KENDALL vs. FACTORY WORKERS - IN THE BUNKER MONOLOGUE (07/06/2020)

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  • Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
  • Jokes featuring Chris Hemsworth, the New York Giants, Jennifer Lopez & A-Rod, Princess Diana, and Kylie & Kendall Jenner.

Комментарии • 268

  • @nobodyyouknow1065
    @nobodyyouknow1065 4 года назад +95

    He bought an actual mic, that means these are going to be a regular thing even when LOCKDOWN ends.

    • @colesteeleA
      @colesteeleA 4 года назад +6

      Savy observation.

    • @thebrazilianatlantis165
      @thebrazilianatlantis165 4 года назад +4

      Has Eddie Murphy phoned about the Kristen Stewart joke yet? Sometimes I think he's all about Eddie.

    • @GeneBurnett
      @GeneBurnett 4 года назад +1

      Looks like a Blue Yeti. About $130. It's about the best mike you can get without stepping up a lot in cost.

    • @pdlegend6829
      @pdlegend6829 4 года назад

      How about hooking it up and turning it on?

    • @eapcdc
      @eapcdc 4 года назад +1

      old Hee Haw radio station skit

  • @cakes_alot5782
    @cakes_alot5782 4 года назад +29

    This is the only show that keeps me sane and actually makes me laugh.

  • @monikag2103
    @monikag2103 4 года назад +27

    “Do I detect a scent of Uranus?” Pure gold😂🤣

    • @randysimmons8684
      @randysimmons8684 4 года назад +2

      Scientists are officially changing the name of Uranus to Your Butthole because not enough people were getting the joke.

    • @love_story2847
      @love_story2847 4 года назад +2

      FAV JOKE!

  • @cherylbarry9063
    @cherylbarry9063 4 года назад +16

    I said “step into a Slim Jim” I may have yelled it hahahahaha

  • @hershmank
    @hershmank 4 года назад +15

    And the Uranus joke wins the internet for the day! 😂

  • @MariocarrilloOfficial
    @MariocarrilloOfficial 4 года назад +41

    favorite joke of the day:
    A-rod cheating on j-lo the old fashioned way.. Using steroids😂

    • @bootyduty91
      @bootyduty91 4 года назад

      Talk about a dinger.

    • @vamanosninja4143
      @vamanosninja4143 4 года назад +1

      omg what if they forgot to tik tok it? ;)

    • @jordangerm
      @jordangerm 3 года назад

      Mine was "omg what if they forgot to tik tok it"

    • @jordangerm
      @jordangerm 3 года назад +1

      @@vamanosninja4143 best line

  • @sophias7399
    @sophias7399 4 года назад +24

    I love these monologues!

  • @Ay-B
    @Ay-B 4 года назад +15

    Saw that amoeba joke coming from a mile away.
    Still laughed.

    • @assmane999
      @assmane999 4 года назад

      Really? I thought that was actually a very unpredictable punchline. It was funnier because so didn’t expect it.

    • @carlosgaspar8447
      @carlosgaspar8447 3 года назад

      would normally involve alabama.

  • @bettymartinez3144
    @bettymartinez3144 4 года назад +12

    I’ll watch anything with David Spade in it. ❤️

  • @ChrisZ70
    @ChrisZ70 4 года назад +15

    My only actual laugh out loud from this was, "...and everyone was like 'Grand Canyon! . . . you're so funny.' "

  • @lulu-qw8xy
    @lulu-qw8xy 4 года назад +6

    Nice to see you David! ❤ Much love to you

  • @YesLikeTheMermaid
    @YesLikeTheMermaid 4 года назад +5

    “Sung to the tune of ‘Girls on Film’” 😹😹😹

  • @NiceGuy678
    @NiceGuy678 4 года назад +7

    Favorite joke: do I detect the scent of Uranus?

  • @cshortridge1
    @cshortridge1 4 года назад +1

    I watched a compilation of your stories yesterday & I had to get a Kleenex cuz I was laughing so hard!! JIZZ LANE!! Hahahaha!!

  • @rong4189
    @rong4189 4 года назад +3

    ‘Uranus’ Bam! LMAO!

  • @amysherrod5286
    @amysherrod5286 4 года назад +5

    I actually prefer watching his "In the bunker" rather than Lights Out.

  • @mjproebstle
    @mjproebstle 4 года назад +1

    uranus...
    ...that joke never gets old. cheers!

  • @OMGWTFLOLSMH
    @OMGWTFLOLSMH 4 года назад

    Space perfume joke was the funniest. I lol'd.

  • @erinbehzadian8540
    @erinbehzadian8540 4 года назад +1

    David! You make me laugh so much! I thought your tiger king interviews were the best! Keep it up and keep it tight. Take it easy and if it's easy take it twice! Muchh love from Bend, OR

  • @velly8789
    @velly8789 4 года назад +6

    Don’t ever stop the monologues

  • @randysimmons8684
    @randysimmons8684 4 года назад +4

    I don't care how it's supposed to be pronounced, Jizzlane is officially her name now.

  • @lisatatosian3198
    @lisatatosian3198 4 года назад

    Don’t stop being you. LOL’d the whole time.

  • @psingleton68
    @psingleton68 3 года назад

    He is just naturally funny. Everything is a joke to him. He seems so down to earth. I wonder if he is that way in person! I would love to just ride around with him and laugh all day!

  • @Emily00Strange
    @Emily00Strange 4 года назад +3

    The Kristen Stewart career hitting a wall made me laugh. Lots of good jokes on this one.

  • @jediknightjairinaiki560
    @jediknightjairinaiki560 4 года назад +6

    Love the dig on Florida.

  • @Kate98755
    @Kate98755 4 года назад +3

    When you played send in the clowns i lost it, well played my friend

  • @matthewbritcher1961
    @matthewbritcher1961 4 года назад +5

    NASA perfume!! Love it!

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 4 года назад +3

    "Why yes, that is the scent of space... because where I'm taking you.. no one will hear your scream."
    * slams the van door closed *

  • @adamzientarski7065
    @adamzientarski7065 4 года назад

    Almost Intersting was an awesome read. It was so cool to get insight bts of SNL. Sorry that dude sold you a car and stole it. You rock dude. Thanks for the levity in these tough times.

  • @Carla-hl3fm
    @Carla-hl3fm 4 года назад

    Hulk Hogan bio pic.... I was CRACKING UP!!!

  • @joruthpatterson6164
    @joruthpatterson6164 4 года назад +1

    Sooooo funny. Made my morning ❤️

  • @brandnewday1058
    @brandnewday1058 4 года назад +2

    Your too much...the reading for hulk hogan with the music..omg...your hilarious...

  • @RoxanneJ
    @RoxanneJ 4 года назад +2

    Uranus = BEST JOKE 🚀

  • @knotshore5957
    @knotshore5957 4 года назад +6

    Spader, Been watching all of your old Ellen show appearances. Your a great storyteller....Very funny! You should go into comedy! PS Hello from Phoenix!

  • @hellomissamericanpie4970
    @hellomissamericanpie4970 4 года назад

    K. That Uranus joke was classic!

  • @empmaximus1
    @empmaximus1 4 года назад

    Good stuff Spade. You know I also loved you in that show Tiger King, AKA Joe Dirt the Later Years!

  • @jordangerm
    @jordangerm 3 года назад

    "Omg what if they forgot to tik.tok it" haha the best

  • @vcantumenil
    @vcantumenil 4 года назад

    Your Casey Kasem closing line was awesome 👏🏻

  • @cookiefortune
    @cookiefortune 4 года назад +1

    A new guy at my office keeps saying “Hey, have you seen Joe Dirt?” And we’re all like “Ya...everyone has seen it.”

  • @TheCaptainSlappy
    @TheCaptainSlappy 4 года назад

    That Kirsten Steward one-off...KABLOW...head on collision.
    Air Bags DID NOT deploy...except under her eyes. GET SOME SLEEP, KIRSTEN.
    I felt that joke from here, Spadely...like a Surprise from Uranus.
    It was as big as the grand canyon...NOM NOM NOM NOM.

  • @heidifordhoops
    @heidifordhoops 4 года назад +1

    Love love love the FLA burn with Duran Duran reference done in Johnny Carson voice no less... it's like you are my personal comedian pulling things out of brain that you know I will love... brilliant.

  • @YeagerFilm
    @YeagerFilm 4 года назад +1

    Meerkat Manor 😂

  • @divadevincent711
    @divadevincent711 4 года назад

    Your best ep yet‼️ “Nobody gives a fuck magazine.” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @kencampbell4313
    @kencampbell4313 4 года назад +1

    Uranus! Too funny!

  • @traciebolin1668
    @traciebolin1668 4 года назад

    After listening to a four hour long school board meeting about next fall, the Grand Canyon joke made me laugh so hard. I really needed it, too.

  • @Anna-zp9vc
    @Anna-zp9vc 4 года назад

    You were on FIRE today, especially liked the Hulk Hogan bit. So many really laugh out loud jokes.

  • @ethanaleman
    @ethanaleman 4 года назад

    I love your bit acting skills.

  • @dead666jezebel
    @dead666jezebel 4 года назад

    Thank you for Jizz-Lane. I needed that. Bahaha

  • @hadjira8987
    @hadjira8987 4 года назад

    I could watch you do this for an hour... Daily! 😁

  • @ytyeet5927
    @ytyeet5927 4 года назад +1

    Hey if you are reading this we can never forget that famous quote from David "life's a garden dig it"

  • @GeneBurnett
    @GeneBurnett 4 года назад +2

    Love the starving amoeba joke.

  • @CaesiusX
    @CaesiusX 4 года назад

    Nice *Casey Kasem* at the end. 😄
    _Jinkies Scoob!_

  • @matthewbritcher1961
    @matthewbritcher1961 4 года назад +7

    Your hulk joke drew me in.... I was there with you.... you made me feel again.... spade is my hero!

  • @cognitojustin998
    @cognitojustin998 4 года назад +2

    "We'll be right back" is a strong finish. Keep it please

  • @ArtyMars
    @ArtyMars 4 года назад

    How do you get smarter and funnier every day David, stop that sir, jk don't ever stop this hahha 💖🥳

  • @capriceg7042
    @capriceg7042 4 года назад

    (#143) David Spade, you are fantastic!! I totally enjoy your monologues!!! 💖💙💖💙❤😂🤣🤗😎

  • @marks7654
    @marks7654 4 года назад +2

    Scent of Uranus....caught me off guard...

  • @prayerskool
    @prayerskool 4 года назад +2

    HEATHER’s laugh is awesome

  • @LiveWellUkraine
    @LiveWellUkraine 4 года назад +3

    The best!

  • @ursulakavaliauskas4463
    @ursulakavaliauskas4463 4 года назад

    Beach joke, good. Amoeba joke, not bad. Keep cheering us up. We like you!

  • @MagicNomadic
    @MagicNomadic 4 года назад

    that space joke cracked me the fuck up!

  • @wackjax1
    @wackjax1 4 года назад

    Thanks for these it makes my morning. Also you do need to work on the Joe dirt.

  • @Dianasviews
    @Dianasviews 4 года назад

    I looove these! Thanks for the laughs!!

  • @dcool2u2
    @dcool2u2 4 года назад

    "What if people think it's actually funny so it's not underrated"
    Thank you David!!
    Under almost every RUclips video you'll find that same "they're are, he is, she is, this song is, movie is, band is so underrated" statement!!
    Underrated by who??!!
    Obviously others like something so it was "rated" somewhere along the line.
    It's my pet peeve!

  • @brookegravitt4117
    @brookegravitt4117 4 года назад

    You got me with that fucking nasa Uranus joke you bastard. Heather giggle for the finish! Love ya Davey!

  • @charisma_spigot
    @charisma_spigot 4 года назад +5

    Dude, you will need to send in some Joe Dirt money to cover the royalties on "Send in the Clowns" !

  • @assmane999
    @assmane999 4 года назад

    Good job, Davie. This show is great!

  • @vamanosninja4143
    @vamanosninja4143 4 года назад +2

    It's called, expensive :D

  • @karencochin7502
    @karencochin7502 4 года назад

    Thank you so much! COVID-19 plus 111 degrees in Phoenix makes your comedy even more amazing than it already is.

  • @ludmillagutomo
    @ludmillagutomo 4 года назад

    ouch..the kristen stewart's career hit the wall part 😂😂😂

  • @willtheangrydudeist9120
    @willtheangrydudeist9120 4 года назад +4

    "You will get none and like it!!!"
    Yeah.... that's what she said...
    Don't get down, Spade...
    You have waaayyy too much hair to play Hogan, baby

  • @dk935
    @dk935 4 года назад

    I love your laugh

  • @bluefj-wc3vz
    @bluefj-wc3vz 4 года назад

    NASA smell of Uranus scent Lol

  • @TheNinjatini
    @TheNinjatini 4 года назад

    Am I the only one talking back and saying, ok, yeah, David, we get it!

  • @alexkess8506
    @alexkess8506 4 года назад +1

    This is the only thing that makes me laugh anymore

  • @user-bp1jn3xz9e
    @user-bp1jn3xz9e 4 года назад +1

    A scent of Uranus 😂

  • @marks7654
    @marks7654 4 года назад

    Send in the clowns was hilarious the first time, funny the second time, and made me cry the third time

  • @colleenla40
    @colleenla40 4 года назад +1

    Amoeba joke. Hilarious!

    • @stevedyches4635
      @stevedyches4635 4 года назад

      As a Florida resident, I must disagree. I saw it coming so I'm not too dumb.

    • @colleenla40
      @colleenla40 4 года назад

      I also live in Florida but funny is funny. It’s a joke buddy, lighten up.

    • @stevedyches4635
      @stevedyches4635 4 года назад

      @@colleenla40 I wasn't the least bit offended, I was kidding around. I love Dave and he can trash Floridians all he wants and I'll like it and laugh, most likely. I blame Florida's bad rep on all the people that are moving here from elsewhere. I came from Georgia myself many moons ago.

  • @bruceward97
    @bruceward97 4 года назад

    That was a great one. Don’t be a stranger Spade!

  • @amylfinnell
    @amylfinnell 4 года назад

    Fucking hilarious ..."don't u love farts"...Jesus mam

  • @Samaraselah
    @Samaraselah 4 года назад

    Hulk bit hilarious

  • @711yada
    @711yada 4 года назад

    My favorite channel.

  • @adrock2895
    @adrock2895 4 года назад

    Snap into a slim Jim LOL pretty much the same guy like it matters LOL

  • @missy3240
    @missy3240 4 года назад

    SO many laughs

  • @love_story2847
    @love_story2847 4 года назад

    That desk mat is from the era of Carl, Rick, & Roger. (Fav joke: scent of Uranus. 👏)

  • @armara70
    @armara70 4 года назад +1

    "Stay out of the Jizz Lane"!!

  • @Schweigardt
    @Schweigardt 4 года назад

    Spade should totally have some music backdrop for these, but quiet enough so we can hear those sick sound effects & them giggles! love those giggles...

  • @reggiesaidit513
    @reggiesaidit513 4 года назад

    Bravo 👏🏽

  • @rebekkad.2092
    @rebekkad.2092 4 года назад

    You as Hulk Hogan is so believable with just a little makeup. You made me cry with the music and the fact that you didn't get it. Oh well, wait for the Arnold movie to come to the big screen.

  • @amillionxanchez1986
    @amillionxanchez1986 3 года назад

    The alanis morrisette reference 💗

  • @jackmeoff5488
    @jackmeoff5488 4 года назад

    David, your like the little brother I've always wanted!

  • @mredmister3014
    @mredmister3014 4 года назад

    David love the monologue. More meerkat

  • @beeonthyme5760
    @beeonthyme5760 4 года назад

    Wear your Whitney's shirts she gifted to you. She is such a sweet fun friend. I do miss your comedy friend conversations.

  • @sheroukyoussef7896
    @sheroukyoussef7896 4 года назад

    Too cute.

  • @fionadevon8067
    @fionadevon8067 4 года назад

    Do I detect?i laughed

  • @amywright2243
    @amywright2243 4 года назад

    ...PEPPERY FERRET. Beautiful.

  • @ashleycrenna5086
    @ashleycrenna5086 4 года назад

    Lmaooo David Spade the best funny ass actor 🤣🤣

  • @erickamarra
    @erickamarra 4 года назад

    Lookin’ sharp!😀I missed you. Why aren’t there more like you?!

  • @skybaby444
    @skybaby444 4 года назад

    Jizz-lane, joke of the year.

  • @camillea2333
    @camillea2333 4 года назад +3

    What are you doing on Epstein's log?