When You Have Lived Your Life in Survival Mode.
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- Опубликовано: 17 авг 2022
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#Anxiety #Depression #SelfHealers #PTSD #Trauma #MentalHealth #SurvivalMode #CPTSD #FamilyScapegoat #ScapeGoat #GenerationalTrauma #AnxietyAwareness #EmotionalWellbeing #NervousSystemRegulation #Interventions #survivalmoderecovery #cptsdrecovery #lifeaftertrauma #lifeinsurvivalmode
I had a therapist appointment and we talked about self-care and she gave me a list. As I was going over the list the only thing that popped into my mind was, "this is a waste of time." I was shocked and saddened that I thought caring for my self was a waste of time. Then it dawned on me that I don't want to "waste time" by doing those things because I'm trying to survive. 😭😭😭 Just one more day, just one more step, just one more week. I'm just becoming aware of what I use to escape, to disassociate and it's hitting me kind of hard. 😫
It can really be overwhelming to acknowledge all that we have invested to survive and what that really means for us and has meant for us. This would be a great time to help your system process the overwhelm so that the overwhelm is used for healing and not pushing you further into survival mode. I teach some helpful interventions for just this kind of processing work and I send these through my email list. You can sign up through my website www.rachellemccloud.com I wish you the best on your healing journey.
Yep I think this way EXACTLY as well. The only thing I don’t see a waste of time is being with my kids. But now I’m putting off my responsibilities to spend time with my kids. Responsibilities that I’m doing to get me out of survivor mode.
that's the worst bit, when you realise your in survival mode and you start taking the steps to get out, your hoping for improvement but instead your hit with all the crap you tried to dissociate from. its like theres no winning 😂 but there is, persevere
Same! And self-care is SO foreign because Im conditioned to ignore my own needs. It started early in toddlerhood when I was appointed responsible for my parents’ self esteem/emotional regulation.
Great insight
Very first time I have heard validation of what Im going through. What I have lived for so long.
Glad it was helpful!
Not me listening to this while having a bath because silence is too loud. My tv broke yesterday , was mad but then i remembered i have been manifesting slow living and now God forced me to go on tv break
Always turning something bad into a blessing in disguise.
I'm on the other side now, it's weird feeling safe. It feels kind of boring tbh but it's a lot better than being in fight or flight at all times
Yes! I'm doing a series on this and did the first video today. Thank you for sharing your experience. If you want to check that video, here is the link:ruclips.net/video/2zQTDbC4fYc/видео.html
how does it feel? how did you realize that you had made it?
I'm jealous. May you always be safe.
Suffering from Narcissistic Abuse and Dealing with Adrenaline Fatigue is no joke! I honestly don’t think people care unless it’s them going through it. I’ve been burnt out since in my 20’s in and out of therapy and the solution I feel is removing yourself from the entire environment or people unfortunately some of us just isn’t lucky…. It’s Fucked Up
Felt your energy speaking with care - it’s very healing. ❤️🩹 lots of love to you !
Thank you! ❤️🙏🏽
I spent my whole life in survival mode. I just came cross your video. I'm coming into my healing state. This is the first time I booked a trip for myself. Trying to live is my biggest goal for 2024. I'm starting to feel more peace but every once in a while i still find myself back in the state of survival mode. I have to walk on egg shells with my parents. This is one of the hardest journey ever. I procrastinate in college but im pushing through.
I am so happy you are coming into your healing state. Enjoy that trip. Also, it is perfectly normal to come in and out of survival mode along this journey and throughout life. That part of our brain isn't going away, it is meant to be here. As you continue to regulate and process triggers and unresolved emotional distress and painful experiences, your brain will get more and more accurate about when and how to use survival mode in your life. You'll find that you can stay more and more regulated in situations that would have dysregulated you and you'll also have access to more of your power to create change. I am wishing you deep wellness.
Very IMPORTANT to understand this.
Wow great video. Thank you 🙏 I have been suffering in suvival my whole life and recently retramatized multiple times in the past six years on top of childhood trama... I'm finding it hard to meet my basic needs and be financially independent. Fighting for years now for SSDI and afraid I may loose and become homeless again ..I am in constant fear and know I can't heal like this so feeling hopeless at times and can't find any real help or support due to no money so it seems only wealthy people get to heal... sadly
This is a hard place to be and a place healing can happen. I offer a free training on my favorite interventions for inner world transformation and trauma recovery. You are welcome to join, learn the interventions and see how they work for you. Here is the link to enroll: rachellemccloud.thrivecart.com/interventions-for-iwt/
Please turn it around. List all the good things that have hapened. Keep praying and your situation will change. I lost everything and God has restored my hope that I do deserve to be rich and prosperous. I never dreamed big and asked God for exactly wgt I need.I hope your stuatin changes, don't give up,the best is yet to come. I am learning patience because God woks slow.
Even wealthy people don’t heal. There’s things even money can’t fix
I’ve noticed how survival mode is entrenched in every aspect of my life. I’ve been consciously aware of the
Chaos that ensues due to the lack of faith in a better future. Thank you for this explanation. Most content usually suggest saying affirmations of abundance but thaT has not worked for me
This is a tough realization you are facing and I appreciate your courage to look at it. You are welcome. Affirmations really can make things worse at times. Here is an article I wrote about that: rachellemccloud.com/blog/f/danger-of-positive-affirmations
And here is a video you may find helpful about what to do instead of forcing a positive mood: ruclips.net/video/M7uAPPGQz5I/видео.html
I'm cheering for you on your journey out of survival mode.
Thanks for this. The first 3 minutes feels like you’re talking about my family lol. Im the youngest and it feels like it’s all on my shoulders sometimes still. It’s made me so sad lately to see people talking so angrily about emotional unavailability. They deserve to be angry lol but it’s still just as frustrating for me at times. There are many moments where I wish I had better tools before they happened. It’s made me sad my whole life that I can’t know what I know after before I hurt someone’s feelings or push people away. It’s even harder when they never communicate it to me. But to be fair I’m neurodivergent too. Social stuff is so confusing. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel close to anyone even if it really want it, it seems impossible so far.
Look up body mapping meditation. There’s one on RUclips I really like
Wow.
One comforting thing for me is to listen to womb sounds
I'm glad you found something comforting. That is so important. Thank you for sharing what works for you.
Is that like whale sounds?
My therapist didn’t understand when I said I used reading as an escape, she thought it was fine bc it was reading, no maam, I want to be present..
Lol! “No, ma’am. I want to be present.” Yes! So true. I’m loving your certainty and yes, you can get that.
A big part of survival mode that I learned that we really underestimate is food and nutrition
That's a subtle layer of trauma that is often REALLY POWERFUL both in harm if left undressed and benefit if gotten together
That's often why you may have people who didn't by any objective measure had a bad home environment BUT have trauma symptoms. It's often toxicity or malnutrition coming in
There is truth to this. This is why it is important to get to the root of the symptoms and sometimes the root is in food and nutrition. Foods can send us into fight or flight and both foods and deficiencies can result in all kinds of symptoms of anxiety, depression and traumatic stress.
Absolutely appreciated. Difficult to find resources.
I know video was posted a year ago. Rachel, thank you. Even if you will never reply to me... But for me this video is more dear then diamonds and all the gold....
I was trying to get myself off survival mode the last half a year.... I found myself dragged back in, probably I lived in that state at least half of my life, since I moved to Jerusalem... I never knew that there are tools that can help me, and lately found few of videos about it on RUclips, including about neuroplasticity of brain...
I am so happy fondling your video... My relaxation wasn't in vain, and is very dear to me... Thank you for the validation and encouragement
Very grateful
@@matikramer9648 - Oh, that is wonderful. I’m glad I have shared something so valuable to you. Thank you for sharing this comment. There are tools! Neuroplasticity is real. And we can shift out of survival mode.
@@rachellemccloudlcsw thank you , thank you, thank you
@@matikramer9648 - You are very welcome!
I’ve been running, jumping and trying to survive my whole life. I started laughingly calling myself ‘The Goodbye Girl’… like the movie. I had to start to make light of things because I couldn’t deal with my reality. I have literally been trapped before and planned to jump a barbed wire fence in the night to escape. (No, I’ve never been to jail, but I’ve felt like I was in jail.). Sometimes I just revert to my childhood when I could laugh more… cause I can’t deal with the pain and shame. I read a meme one time that helped some. It said when a major issue comes up, just yell ‘plot twist!’ And change course. Depression medicine helps a lot, but they can’t increase my dose because I previously started having glitches with higher doses that made me start to stutter. All I could think of was tardive dyskinesia. I asked to doctor to give me just the minimum dosage otherwise I’d need a love-me jacket in a rubber room… cause I’d be crazy depressed if my reflexes were out of my control. Anyway, I’ve lived with a lot of anxiety for as long as I can remember. It’s gotten worse over the years until I’ve become close to being a hermit out of fear of the world and fear of me making any more major mistakes… I’m just stuck. And it’s affecting everything…my body is taking a lot of neglect presently. I’m just so very tired. I’m 56 years old and trying to find a reasonable way to rise up feel like I’m good enough for anything any longer. I’ve been escaping all these years and I’ve finally just stopped and feel the weight of it all crashing and crushing.
You are in a really tough and yet powerful place. That crashing and crushing feeling is why most people never stop running from the anxiety, depression and posttraumatic stress. And yet this is the stuff that when it gets processed is the missing pieces of emotional wellness that your brain will finally be able to utilize and healing and transformation occurs. And this process is a lot faster than people think. It can occur in weeks or months and the revitalization and wholeness that experienced from there is so good and yet almost unbelievable. I encourage you to grab an intervention that your brain responds to and help it get all of this crashing and crushing distress processed. If you’d like some direction with this learn more on my website and sign up for my email list. I start sending out free trainings on my four favorite interventions. You can try them out and see and feel how they work for you. Www.Rachellemccloud.com
I was standing in my large pantry recently and had the realization that I have been in survival mode all these years. The pantry may or may not have anything to do with it, but it was a great visualization. I think mostly in fight mode which have given me great drive to prepare for the "future". While it sounds good, I think there was a hidden anxiety.
Yes. Anxiety can really stay hidden like this. Thank you for sharing your realization.
You perhaps keep your pantry stocked up in a way a survivalist would while preparing for an apocalyptic scenario buying things that have long shelf lives for example.
Wow! My trauma therapist has helped me so much but this is a new discovery for me regarding why I need constant distraction, constant means of stimulation going at once, the need to be a multitasker daily as a nurse and mom. My overeating,, oversleeping since childhood, reading three or more books at a time, all related to decades of covert trauma. My HRV at age 48 is dangerously low. The path to healing is a challenging one, but I had to cut contact w toxic family of origin because my teenage daughters need me to be healthy in order to give them all of the emotional support and unconditional love they need to grow & become happy, healthy adults. #1 priority!! ♥️ Thank you for educating ~ survivors need this!
I'm glad this video helps you make sense of what is going on. I hope the understanding helps reduce shame you may have for these issues. Good for you for making choices for healing and to prioritize healing in your life, even when those choices were tough ones. You and your HRV matter.
You know, it’s hard even talking to people my age (22)
I’ve been through so much trauma and had way too many close calls. Whil most of the people i meet openly admit their rich or they’ve had a good life.
Although i don’t blame them for it i just feel disconnected from them.
I can talk to people like a grown adult can but i just don’t have the social cues to make jokes. I can be nice though lol
Thank you.
You're very welcome!
I just had my first ever therapy session and learnt that I have been in survival mode my whole life!
Oh, this sounds like one of those beautiful, painful bittersweet moments. I’m sorry and congratulations. I’m wishing you all the best on your healing journey.
This is the best explanation of survival mode I have ever listened to. So helpful! Thank you!
Thank you! That is such a high compliment. I’m glad this video helps.
Isn’t it, sometimes someone explains something in a way that just makes sense.
Dear God, I know I need to talk with a therapist 2024.... hearing all this is so relateable for me.
Same here
Same here
Thank you for taking the time to share this. Others feel the same. I encourage you to do inner work that goes beyond talking. That may go without saying since I preach about doing the brain work. But I want you to really get the most out of your healing efforts. Have you signed up for my free program Interventions for Inner World Transformation? These interventions are my favorite to supporting brains to resolve symptoms and solve problems. If one or more of these work for you, you may want to find a therapist or follow a process that uses that intervention. If you haves signed up, you can do so on my website www.rachellemccloud.com
All the best to you,
Rachelle
This is awesome. This message came at the right time.
Thank you, Rachelle.
I'm glad it did. Thank you for leaving this comment and letting me know.
Is anyone here in survival mode due to financial reasons? Like im homeless atm and im trying to get out i make 30 an hour tho
If you dig deeper it may be the instability.
Stress is emotional physical, mental, and financial.
Oh hun. You are in my thoughts and prayers ❤The world is making things so hard. I had to sell my home to avoid bankruptcy. It has kept me in survival mode for about 6 years
You are soooo on point for me :) .
❤️🙌🏾
I was in a relationship with a drug addict for over ten years. I know when I’m active addiction they are in survival mode. I feel I was all those years, could never relax, always wondering where is he, why isn’t he answering my calls, did u use drugs, has he cheated on me, is he going to leave my front door once one of his drug clown’s contacts him. Then there’s his drug debts and people coming looking for money, two of his junkie females assaulted me as he would come back to me. I know I deserved better and I just accepted the small bit he was giving me in the relationship. It was so draining. Nov 2022 I asked him to leave and it wasn’t until I didn’t have that heightened anxiety I felt so drained tired no motivation. I suffered hair loss from stress, my cortisol was so high.
The exact video I need right now.
I’m glad it showed up for you. You are welcome. 🙏🏽
Also a healthy diet makes it easier to manage what you're talking about imo so your brain/gut microbiome isn't distracted fighting off endocrine blockers
This is very true. And sometimes people are too overwhelmed, frozen or traumatized to take action in that area of their lives. It's okay for them to start at the place they can and build on from there. If one has the resources (mental, emotional, physical, financial, etc) to implement both that would be ideal. Thank you for brining up this important issue.
You are such a smart person and a great explainer, I’m so glad I found you. I hope I can get a session one day
Thank you for the video, I found this very helpful. I am learning how to calm my nervous system and feel safe, I believe I will get there soon!
You are very welcome! Glad it was helpful! I believe you will get there soon too.
Very encouraging and hopefull video! Feels so empathic and makes you understand both yourself and others better
Thank you for your feedback and taking your time to leave such a heart warming comment.
With a disability and no family this has been so hard..i know cant be around faliys or family routine after yesrs in the gutter .
I pannick just seeing it .
Self sooth with pot. Then that leads to finding the next mix .survival is seeking.
I was even discharged from my therapist after two years, saying " we've done all we can for you here, you need a traained trama specialist...lol Didn't effect my abandonment issues at all...lol
I am so sorry for your loss and pain. This happens more often than not and while your issues are not too much for a trauma specialist, one without this specific training would not be able to offer more than a secure base. Which is VERY valuable in the healing journey! and not usually enough for trauma recovery. It's too bad they weren't able or willing to support you while you were also receiving support from a trauma therapist.
This Video is honey to my ears
This video really touched everything I’ve been experiencing. Thank you so much for this
You are so welcome. Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate that.
I appreciate this video❤
Wonderful. Thank you for letting me know that. I appreciate your feedback.
Such an excellent explanation for this topic! 👍
Thank you. 🙏🏽
Wow that was really helpful! I'm so glad I found your channel
Great! Thank you for letting me know and I'm glad you found my channel too.
Really great video. I hope your channel grows immensely. This was so valuable and you are very insightful
I appreciate that! I hope so too. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your feedback.
Im so glad I found you going through hell
I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I'm glad you are here. Please ask me any questions you have. If I can help, I'd like your trip through hell to be the as short and healing as possible.
Thank you for describing the problem so clearly. I have hope now for finding a way through this lifelong tunnel of darkness, but first I need to ask: is it possible or even advisable to move out of survival mode while you are still being abused?
@@victoryamartin9773 great question. I will answer this in a video. I’m leave the link 5o it here when it it is ready.
Northern GA - 57 still surviving state
This is real. It's never too late to shift out and its also very normal to have grief about this. I recommend enrolling in my free program, Interventions for Inner World Transformation, to trial some interventions that may help you shift out and also to process the grief. Here is the link to access the program: rachellemccloud.thrivecart.com/interventions-for-iwt/
Thankyou for this video
You are very welcome.
Your explanation is spot on - Thank you
You are welcome! Thank you for the feedback. 🙏🏽🙌🏽
Excellently conveyed. Thank you.
You are very welcome. Thanks for taking the time to leave a message.
Love love this !
I'm so glad! Thank you for taking the time to leave your response.
This is such great info!
Thank you! I appreciate your feedback. 🙏🏽
scammers put me in fight mode.
where's the advice?
❤❤Why are there so many negative stigmas against plp who have been in survival mode ?
This is such a great question. I could write chapters and chapters in response to this question. I think it boils down to ignorance, denial, inexperience and the amount of social and systemic change that would need to occur if we acknowledged this part of our brain and how it works.
I was on board until she said that 1 day. She just snapped out of it and then I thought yet I'll just wait for that
It does happen. In my case it happened at weeks of ugly crying. And it wasn’t enough healing to prevent the massive mental health crisis I would experience 3 years later. But I am grateful that the crying did work well enough to “snap me out of it” at the time.
Do you think me understanding that uncomfortable emotions are temporary is me starting to heal? I used to think sadness and anxiety would never go away that’s why I desperately tried to get rid of them but now I try to accept them and they end up disappearing after a while. The only thing is, will I have to put on so much effort to deal with all this difficult emotions and with the overthinking for the rest of my life? Because even though now I’m more at peace, I still have to work with a lot everyday and it’s exhausting. I wonder when will I deal with my mind effortlessly so that I can start focusing on other things.
This is a sign that you are healing!
Great question. I made a video about it today in response to your question. Here is the link, if you want to watch: ruclips.net/video/SlJ-HUoMZTg/видео.htmlsi=kYUgYWvwjk6kTQK2
Why the nervous system can't disregulate themself naturaly? Why its must be pushstarted?
This is such a great question. I’m going to respond through a video. When I upload it I’ll post the link here.
Here's the video: ruclips.net/video/HWIEvFV_ngI/видео.html
Ok. Can you equate this to Narcissistic Personality Abuse, and parental alienation ? The children...
I would love to. What specific insights are you looking for? Because that is a BIG topic.
Hi do you think you can make calls outside of USA ,Im in south africa?
I am able to make those calls, I use zoom and whatsapp for those. If you are considering working with me, you can learn more by having a look around my website. www.rachellemccloud.com
Are u still doing calls?
Yes. I am. Here is the link to schedule: www.rachellemccloud.com/call
Do you take calls?
The answer to this is complicated at the moment. I am making changes to the calls I am taking. To see the services I offer, please go to www.rachellemccloud.com
How much do u charge?
You can find this information on my website: www.rachellemccloud.com
քʀօʍօֆʍ 🏃
If you're not trauma informed you really shouldn't be teaching about topics such as this.
Wow you worded this greatly... I just understood this today the difference of the state and how to pay attention to the habits and body reactions daily.. learn thyself in this state and pay attention to the cycles or should I say patterns
I’m glad I could help and that this is allowing you to pay attention to yourself and learn this state. Combining that awareness with intervention use is the next healing step that you can start right away. I teach three of my favorite interventions in a free online program, Interventions for Inner World Transformation. You can give them a try and see if they help your brain shift out of survival state and turn all of your new awareness in to health. Here’s the link to enroll: rachellemccloud.thrivecart.com/interventions-for-iwt/
@rachellemccloudlcsw thank you I looked into those daily intervals I greatly appreciate you
@@detroitday100mviews great! You are welcome!