Hi, I'm a therapist and CPTSD survivor who has just stumbled across your channel. I absolutely support your mission to democratise healing. I have been told many times within my profession not to share potent healing resources with clients that they can use outside of sessions. But for me, these techniques were life saving and if I had just healed one hour a week in therapy (when I could afford it) I would never had survived. I'm so glad about the work you are doing to share such important knowledge.
Wow I'm shocked but not surprised. The only therapist I want to see is the one on a mission to make his field obsolete. I remember when I told my last therapist that I was going to start doing IFS therapy at home with the Jay Early book "Self Therapy" and he strongly advised me against it. That was the last time I saw him after 15 years off and on.
1. Learn what complex PTSD is. 2. Be willing to notice the problems that have nothing to do with trauma. (Like tardiness) 3. Prepare to move your stories from current thought to “the memory bucket.” (Write to release.) 4. Stop trying to make other people Not trigger you. 5. Stop trash-talking the people who you choose to have in your life. 6. Stop clinging to bad relationships that make you miserable. 7. Don’t stay in work that makes you miserable unless your life depends on it. 8. Detach from the belief that you magically attract the wrong people. 9. If you have addictive behaviors, make recovery your first priority. 10. Sit down and ask yourself, If I really had this problem (CPTSD), what are 10 things I could do?
I healed my CPSTD by stopping talking about my sexual abuse and going back to that little boy and gave him the confidence to be the man he wanted to be. Daily meditation for 5 years, yes it's a long road but you can get there. Eventually you can even forgive the family perpetrators and enablers.
Wow! Thank you, chickenliam! I love hearing about your simple (not easy of course,) persistent, healing path, that came from listening to yourself. Beautiful.
I've been working on this- going back to the turning point of abuse and trying to redo. Being a teenager again when you are well over 50 is .... interesting.... :)
It's amazing how hard you've worked to become the person you are today. That's wonderful. At the same time, forgiveness isn't the magic bullet everyone makes it out to be. It's a lot like religion. People blindly believe it because they've been told to by pop self-help outlets. It doesn't (and can't) work for everyone. It's not even emotionally healthy. It puts all the emphasis on the person who tormented you rather than on yourself (where the focus should be). Sometimes, not forgiving someone can be just as liberating. It's okay to not be okay.
Make that 100%! I spent way too much time and money on them. I've found that doing fun things, walks sitting in parks, trips, occasional small indulgences, being very selective with whom I associate, journaling, and watching a lot of Anna's and others' You tube videos, help me so much more.
You are AMAZING. ❤ Its so important to stop labeling (is that a word?) people around us and start to focusing on ourselves. That's the only healthy way!
Honestly I love this woman. You can tell she has actual experience and recovered from it. It's so easy to think that it'll never get better but she gives me hope. God Bless you Anna
I agree with you. Traditional therapy hasn’t worked for so many. This woman doesn’t treat the symptoms, she reaches to the core of CPSD. And instead treats the problem. I believe her.
Yes, she gives me hope. I’m not alone. I’m not weird and afraid of people. I’m good, kind and loving. I raise two wonderful kids who are now married living productive lives. I’m trying to learn how to love myself more and not shame or punish myself. Anna, thank you.
At least as a place to heal. I moved down state for college and it was far easier to benefit from therapy or practice in self regulation not having everything around me be a trigger of the past. Things like very specific combinations of mundane landmarks like electrical poles and vacant lots by street signs have even been triggers to me. Things I would fixate on car rides to check out, frequently visited locations, even unique weather conditions. You could always return when you feel ready, and part of me always wants to. But part of me loves the life I made on my own away from all the memories, and maybe you could too. I definitely understand why some people move their whole lives, always wanting to leave one chapter behind them and move on to the next. But ultimately I know I want a place to call my own. Undoubtedly I'd recommend to most to at least have a place of trauma, a place of healing, and a place of new beginnings (even if just locally and that means moving to new regions in town and frequenting new regions along each stage).
Gosh, how true, the world is full of people saying “you triggered me” instead of “I’m triggered, and I can learn how to manage my triggers and overcome them.”
I have been in years of therapy. I had gotten so sick and tired of rehashing all the crap from the past. I just want to get better. I absolutely think I stumbled by total accident upon this person- and SO glad I did. I have hope that I just get out of the straightjacket of my mind finally.
No this was not by accident or a coincidence….your higher self and guides led you to the help you needed, bc you were truly searching and want to heal, and are ready.
Same, on and off. I'm currently in counseling. It's short term and she wants me to go into trauma therapy and do EMDR. I did that 7 years ago, but it didn't really seem to help. We were focusing on childhood trauma and nor relationship trauma, which was worse. However, I just dont want to talk to another therapist. I'm thinking about Somatic Therapy and doing some regression therapy. By that, I don't mean revisiting old trauma, more like hypnosis.
@@nt557i feel you! I lost my job and because I think everything goes wrong in my life i found a small gig that wasnt viable me just to survive. I ended up getting unemployment right when i started the job. After working there for a week, it was clear my employer was taking complete advantage of me. He wanted my car, and when it broke down he wouldnt let me work untill i could fix it. (He wasnt upfront about the job duties and wouldnt let ne use his work vehicle intended for what he wanted. Now i cant recieve unemployment. I have $10 to my name, no car, no job. Since my Mom died my family hasnt interacted with eachother, all my older sisters who instilled self doubt in me all have happy families and moved on. My dad also found a new family. I feel so alone and such a failure. Smoking a bit of weed is the only thing that stops the flashbacks and nightmares for the night, probably because i had to use that instead of going to therepy while my mom was dieing. All i did was stay home and try to take care of her. Its all feels so fucked.
@@dommccaffry3802 how did you manage to set boundaries with these kind of people if you don't mind me asking? Did you just cut contact or Did you have a word with them? It's a safety concern for myself and not sure how/where to get away
Thank you for helping me gain tools and giving me words like "dysregulation" to describe my unhealthy responses from CPTSD. I stayed in an unhealthy marriage for 28 years and I have stayed in jobs with bad bosses way too long. I am now learning to set healthy boundaries with the people in my life.
I went through 16 years of neglect, physical abuse, fear, anxiety and all that. My diagnosis are borderline, ptsd, adhd and so on. Now I have realized thanks to you that I for SURE do not have borderline and that most if not everything that is wrong with my head is CPTSD.
Sometimes the hardest part about relationships is that if you stop meeting the wrong people then you don't meet any people at all, but I guess that's better after all. Thanks for all the great videos by the way!
Wow - another great Anna quote, "What I attract has nothing to do with what I attach to" - so well said, and I'm really just waking up to this new way of looking at my life and my relationships. Thank you!
I don't know if most people just know all this, but for me, this video amongst your other videos are so encouraging and helpful. I am sitting here thinking and understanding that I don't have to be like this anymore. i can change the way I do and feel.
I appreciate you. I've noticed, as I've reached a certain point in my healing, that people, both good and bad, are coming (back) into my life. Some from the past and some new folks. I'm being careful in choosing who gets to stay & who doesn't. These videos are helping me understand myself and how/why I react to certain situations. Bless you, ma'am.
This is so interesting! I have (in the past) experienced this kind of reverse-exodus too. It does seem that our healing subtly communicates with the world and presents opportunities to repair, rearrange and (sometimes) reject the problems of the past. Very proud of you for all you are doing!
I have learned to mask my symptoms, I’m social , cheerful. When around people no one can tell what is going on inside me. The only time I know is visible is when I feel depressed then I stay away. Love your tips on how to get better I tried many things and so far I am stuck. Thank you for sharing the light 💥
You're the best channel with the most empowering and grounded material I've come across. I am grateful that you had the strength and determination to heal from your childhood, because your authenticity makes the content have an extra powerful effect.
The labelling thing also leads to a bunch of research rabbit holes (which I don’t hate) and second guessing which is actively detrimental. Things got much better when I figured out I didn’t have to know why, and could shrug and walk away.
This is so interesting because I also do this a lot and it’s causing my so much anxiety and distress unrelated to bad events in my life. When the solution is simply: Not to Do That. But it’s hard when it’s become a habit.
Watching your videos is like listening to a sister. Your demeanor is so comforting and I can relate to you so well. Thank you so much for being there. I feel 'normal' with you! And ps, I love your handle ...Crappy childhood fairy.... You're amazing.
Personally it took me 29 years to free myself from the false sense of obligation/duty to become the caregiver of my two abusers. I respect whomever decides to care for their elder parents (with or without dimentia), but personally, I think that when the parents were the ones who put you through narcissistic abuse (and kept doing it in adulthood until you started zero contact), getting close to them again is terribly negative for the healing process… and I also think it should be addressed that even in circumstances like that, parents are not entitled to their daughters or sons dedicating their lives to care for them.
I had a major breakthrough yesterday: my husband stated that he was going to give our 2 year old a shower, instead of a bath, and I lost my cookie. I freaked out because my mother neglected us kids and I wrongfully believed my husband was just being lazy, like my mom. Just being able to recognize when I'm triggered has been the most important part of my healing.
Glad you're here and healing. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
Dear dear Anna - there’s NO question I am ALIVE today because of God guiding me to you 31/2 yrs ago. Many brutal bottoms yet your random shared about about ACA in-which I discovered HOME at 62. I know for a fact I would not be on the planet literally - the truth bares repeating thanks to extraordinary, incredibly GENEROUS YOU! ❤❤❤
Oh, how wonderful! What a good Thanksgiving Day message. 3.5 years ago - that means you have some seniority around here. Thanks for being part of this revolution. Thanks for healing and sharing the truth about it! It helps all of us!
I need help. Somethings wrong with me and I feel sick mentally. That same sick feeling as a kid when my mother was separated from me and when she would yell or throw things. I just realized this is something which needs to be addressed. Abandonment issues?
@@JukemDrawles87 take contact with doctor or anything they will tell you why and what to do. They know this stuff, also all doctors have education in trauma!!
I so ♥️ that you say we don’t attract narcissists & toxics , but we attach to them…..that’s me due to childhood programming ❣️ healing more each day & let go of several during lockdown…ty Anna🎂💗
When you said something about just having superficial relationships and gaining self esteem from just having a job, I felt that in the deepest recesses of my authenticity.
Anna, I am an older adult with CPTSD. After 22 years of heavy drinking and drug use starting when I was 14, I've been drug and alcohol free for 28 years. I did a lot of talk therapy with a psychologist and **a lot** of AA and Al-anon meetings over the years. Until I watched this video however, I was convinced that only the worst kinds of people were attracted to me. From my somewhat faulty perspective that's what always seemed to happen. Now that I've seen this video I have a more clear view of this dynamic that includes my part in it. I think the ability to see my part will help me to eventually be free from this limiting belief. I am thankful for your videos and find you to be articulate and wise. I think someone who has endured some painful experiences and has come out on the other side such as yourself is in a prime position to help others. Thank you for all your hard work, you are truly helping to make the world a better place by helping people to realize more peace in their hearts and minds. 💐🙂🌻❤🌱
So glad that you can see that there is still hope! There are absolutely great people out there that will be attracted to you. We're rooting for you and are so glad you're here. - Ashley, Team Fairy
@@pennyc7064 yes there is it's a really really good book I love it I'm not even done with it yet I have it on Audible. I want to get a hard copy though so I can highlight different pages and stuff.
@@ginacheselka6086 thanks for your reply. I'll probably get the hard copy too. There is another book I've heard about but not read, called When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate.
I think one of the reasons we all love you is that you do all the right things to help us feel safe...prosody, a kind expression...perfect for staying Ventral according to Polyvagal Theory! Your voice and manner is so soothing!!
I feel like it's not the memories of the trauma that cause the problem (though those events certainly were the cause of the injury) but the injury itself that is the source of my pain. If I break my toe on a table leg, the table leg certainly was the cause of the break, but the cause of the pain that needs healing is the break. Healing the injury doesn't involve the table leg at all. I can walk by the table leg, recall the injury and give the leg a wide berth in future, but just looking at the table leg doesn't incite new pain later. I've got to find a way to heal the shame, the guilt, the incredible lack of self-esteem (essentially worthlessness) that resulted from abandonment that is the issue. People keep telling me to "stop living in the past," but I'm not. I don't think about the events that traumatized me at all (at least I didn't until I had a complete come apart and people started poking around in my brain for the cause). I suffer from the damage done to my self by the event. I'll never be able to reconcile those events with a manageable level of stress response because I am no longer the kid who suffered existential threat. Rationally, I recognize that my triggers are not actually high level threats, but my brain and body respond as if they are because of the injury of past trauma. The biggest one absolutely was existential in nature and killed the boy who was me before. What it left behind was an adult with no friends, a history of divorce and job loss and who processes everything through an injured brain. I need to find a way to heal the break. Addressing the actual damage should restore full and proper function of my brain. Right?
This is exactly how I experience life. I will always be that little girl, no matter what. It's like it's a way of life for me and there's nothing I can do about it. Raised in a home by parents who are emotionally neglected during their childhood. I'm not safe in my own body. It's like this trauma happened before I was born. I feel so empty and just don't know what to do. I'm constantly in freeze flight fawn modus. Life is not supposed to be like this right? Complex trauma is such a crappy feeling and that is an understatement!
I been guilty of so many stuff so far. Yes, I've been into alcohol, heavily, Yes, I been heavily into diagnosing the ones who hurt me. I was probably right, but it was worthless absolutely. Today I also realized that everytime I get angry because I was hurt or disrespected or wronged, when I angry, that is definitely not self-love and definitely does not serve me.
Thanks Anna C-ptsd survivor myself. You have pretty much identified it in previous videos but one of the most difficult patterns to get out of is: victimhood, blaming parents (with the payoff I'm unfixable), self identity of I'm ill unfixable.... almost looking for illness labels so they don't have to face life. The faliure of intimacy, toxic communication, the drama karpman triangle in ACA families... with multiple layers of toxicity.... Thanks again for all your work
Making so much progress. Realized today that I defend myself for EVERYTHING. Friend shared a silly joke and I automatically defended myself about the content. I was late but I saw it! Now I know to watch that. Thank you so much for the daily practice. 😊
I just found your channel and I cant believe how every single symptom you talk about fits me to a T. Disregulation, crashes, extreme anxiety and stress, unable to do even small tasks, and total avoidance, especially avoiding people. The crazy thing is, I never would have guessed that I had CPTSD. I always thought I had an okay childhood. My dad was strict and sometimes demeaning, but i dont consider it abuse and others have it so so much worse. As an adult, I went through a divorce and then became a heroin addict, both of which were probably also traumatic, but I still never considered myself as someone who had suffered trauma. Yet, all of your videos fit me to an extreme amount and these symptoms have ruined my life so much that I cant function or work or do anything normal. I thought i just had social anxiety. Anyway, I'm still unsure if i actually have trauma, but I'm definitely benefiting from your videos, and they've really made me think, so thank you.
These videos hit me so hard that I can’t get through them. I have to watch in short clips because I’m so ashamed. The weight of my half-assed life is too heavy. I can’t reconcile with myself about it.
I can relate. I’m really glad you wrote this comment. I like you. I feel very similar. Sending love. Something about the way she says stuff is difficult for me, makes me feel awful. I usually only listen part way through. I definitely feel you. 💕
My craniotomy in 2018 unleashed the sexual abuse and emotional abuse by my mother memories. Both are dead. I could finally say the word molested. I kept it under wraps for years. My family ( 5 brothers) and I never talked about it. Except when I first told my mother what my father did when I was 28. Later she said she asked him what he did. The story she told me was my father said I was mentally ill. I’m 69. From 28 until I was 68 I thought I was mentally ill. I still never discussed it with my brothers or friends. My psychiatrist told me last year that panic attacks and anxiety didn’t mean I was mentally ill. So I feel like I was in a coma and woke up to a truth that has been heartbreaking since 2018.
This is awesome, Anna! Every point made total sense to me. I'm learning at age 64 what my triggers are and using your tips to get them under control without blaming someone else. Thank you!!!
This might sound dumb, but I was having a hard time wrapping up on how I wanted to re-do the yard. I wanted to do it, but was worried about the “why did you plant that?” Stuff. I told myself to pretend I was selling the house and just do it. It worked. The naysayers can go wherever they go.
I am watching this 2 years after it qas posted and I have to say I am so thankul i stumbled on your channel and have begun my official journey to healing. I've been doing some things just out of maturity and did not know until recently that i have CPTSD and am an addict. I have been working for 3 years now to kick my addictions. Thank you for your insights and for the wealth of information!
So, I am getting better. I totally embraced the kitchen thing a while back. When I think I'm totally worthless, I can see that I have made progress. I keep kitchen and bathroom and my bedroom very clean. I have more to do but I have made progress. I'm also totally clear about NOT driving even I'm scattered. You call it dysregulation. I have learned hard way, NOT TO DRIVE or make important calls, etc when my brain is out of balance.
Today I celebrate one year in one of my support group and I am so proud of my sobriety I set my mind up and this one-year accomplishment shows me it's possible anything I set my mind to achieve thank you I enjoy your channel thank you Ana
Absolutely not for anyone to tell you what to do. For more help getting clear on what is honest for you, try Anna's free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy
The dishes could depend on whether someone else previously broke (or was careless with) things that you treasured. In which case, I'd also be nervous about letting someone manhandle my preciousssses. (My inner Gollum really doesn't like people messing with my pretties.)
@@nybombay3378 I have some input, stick with me.... I've gotta say that sounds like being a control freak - which I hate to say because someone told me I was once and I reacted TERRIBLY, and I couldn't see it for years! Eventually I figured out that it was my lack of self-esteem and consequent perfectionism that did make me controlling about things (not everything)... I work heard to not be so perfectionist. Ultimately I was prompted to answer b/c you sound just like someone I used to be friends with who did the same, she was SURE no one could do her dishes well enough... I'm no longer her friend b/c her self-esteem issues were so disruptive to having a decent friendship... awareness of the issue is the first step towards healing whatever the issue stems from. Just my two cents!
You are saving my life! I’m so happy I found you. I’m beginning to understand myself and CPTSD and your videos help me each day. Thank you!!! Namaste. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I feel lost lately and whenever I feel loneliest or saddest I have that same sick mental feeling as I did when I was a child, when my mother would yell and when they separated her from me
Soooo glad a friend shared Anna with me as I am doing with others as well!!! I'm loving and soooo appreciative of all the information. This is the parenting that both my parents and I never received and I thank God for using Anna to help me and others!! May our Creator bless you and your team immensely!
What I love about your channel is putting the power back into the survivor rather than hating on the person who did the abuse. The "narcissist " videos on other self-help channels can be really damaging, I think. That's black and white thinking and correctional officer thinking. Better to be empowered, as you say. And to develop more accurate discernment. Thank you and God bless you.
I am so excited that there is a growing abundance of resources like this out there for CPTSD. I absolutely love my parents but they were only 19 when they had me. My dad had unresolved trauma that made my childhood very difficult, and it's lead me to a life of depression, social anxiety, and panic disorder. PTSD is better known as a veteran's issue or partner-based domestic violence abuse. There haven't been resources in the last 20 years for children of domestic violence. But that's where it all stems from, for so many issues. It's exciting to see this change and awareness. I recently went through old videos of my childhood - my family loved to record the good times - and I put together a video as a form of therapy. I don't know if it'll help anyone else, but maybe it can. Regardless, it's fun to see flashbacks to the 90s. I was sobbing for a solid 24 hours straight making it.
Yep. 10 months sober from alcohol. Getting better and better everyday. There is no way, just no way i could be engaged honestly with myself to be so connected to my healing process now. I just could not stay the course and make meaningful change. Now i feel ok. Just ok is good. Real good. 😊
Another great video. I love it. Double down on our healing. I feel like it is hard for us to wrap our heads around what it takes to heal and once we are able to take it more seriously we do the things you mention here like, stop focusing on the abuser, evaluate/eliminate our use of substances, understand what CPTSD really is, etc. I used to say I attracted cluster Bs as well but now I agree that I was just tolerating people. Now I have just become intolerant of being treated poorly. REALLY IMPORTANT: Love how you said that labeling people should be avoided. So true! It only makes it worse. Love how you said, "I attract mosquitos 🦟 but I wouldn't get into a relationship with one!" LOL! 🤣😀 Could you imagine if one were to be in a relationship with a mosquito? "NO! Don't smack him! That's my husband Larry!" 😀🤣😀🤣 Thank you for this video ❤
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I will look into them and see if there is something you offer that I may benefit from. If I were to ask you: Self-worth work and integrating my perfectionism are the areas I want to focus on. Got anything to help with these things?
This video is full of information. I find the more I progress in healing, the more the people I’ve held closest to me, are becoming a misery. They don’t trigger me, and one is narcissist with her share of nice in the mix, but she is going nuts because I don’t oblige her manipulation anymore. I’m trying to find a brighter focus, it requires my attention, not much in my upbringing was even remotely optimistic. I’m weary of phones calls that interfere with my efforts. There is so much bad information overwhelming people, that normal people are becoming filled up with media garbage, I no longer offer my brain to talking heads. I get what’s evident, I can’t understand the free floating emotions that seem to come without triggers, they are hard to make out. In any case, I guess my next step is to quit smoking cigarettes, I’d love know how you did that Anna, because I sense I will find myself extremely tigger happy, they do help. Peace and love! ♥️🕊
hello- Cara here, helping Anna with comments. I could NOT quit smoking but after exactly one year of the Daily Practice (including Transcendental Meditation), it happened! 11 years smoke free now. Here is link to the free course bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy
Thanks you so much Anna for all your wonderful content. It has helped me so much to continue on my path of healing and growth. Your balanced and compassionate approach is so refreshing and comforting. Your are a gift to all those who suffer with the symptoms of CPTSD.
Choosing Me, choosing Happiness is my superpower! Anna, you're my Hero! But I hate it when I am told: "but what happened to me is much worse and I'm doing fine!", "put your big girl pants on and move on!", "just don't go that rabbithole into your darkplace, just don't and then everything will be fine!", "dramaqueen!". And at the same time: "don't think you're superwoman who can do everything by yourself!". People are sooooo confusing! Just give me my cat and my plants! When I wake up in the morning I tell myself: "I do this for me and for me only!" With all the ups and downs.
These are amazing, practical tools. All of the psycho babel is great for diagnosis but, I already know my trauma. I need to know how to function with it. Your series has helped calm my anxiety.
I was diagnosed with Stage 4A ovarian cancer June 2022. Ovarian Cancer is sensitive to stress. 60 yrs old Scapegoat, still being scapegoated by “family”. Mother is a covert
Hi Dee, that's big. Now is the time to put your healing first. With all my heart, I urge you to learn the Daily Practice techniques I teach, and join me on my next call.
It's difficult to let go of people who trigger you every time you speak to them if those are the ones who implemented cPTSD in you in the first place: your parents. And they do the same damage now to my little nieces. Implementing cPTSD by overcontrolling, chronically worrying parents and grandparents who punish children for their emotions and only focus on their school success for over 50 years now. But I am working on it.
This makes me feel so much better about myself. It's so nice to know others have the same struggles. I've been working on this for years but this is helping me step it up!!
I AM one of those people who has spent their whole life alone in trauma and have tried lots of stuff but nothing has worked. It feels hard to try. to change again when its already too late Please be sensitive. to people like me when you talk about "NOT wanting to be someone who never heals .. cause we are out here.
Finally someone who I can relate to. I never knew ptsd from child hood trauma abuse and losing 3 of my siblings in 3 different accidents at an early age effected me as an adult. Now I know why I get triggers and what triggers do to me. So, blessed to have found this channel! Years I thought I was some crazy person, but no I’m a an adult who suffered years of abuse and losses.
This is so empowering. Can't thank you enough for providing this series on RUclips. I found you last night, watched a few videos, felt immediate connection and resonance with what you're saying and your approach. Went to bed and woke up feeling more hopeful that I really can heal than I have in years. Finally, someone who's been through it, understands, and has found the path out!
I am so grateful that in my journey through healing I found you ! I am commenting now in the hope that more people will have access to your work... We need you, people of the cptsd to heal and also very importantly : to be happy. I know your heart, your hurt but I also know your hopes and dreams, the little wishes held in the secret of our souls... the strength I discovered in myself when I finally understood what happened to me, I wish you discover it too and keep doing the good work ! Thank you Anna !!!
I'm a bullying survivor - I mean I've been bullied as a child because I was very seriously ill and overweigth. It lasted for 7 years and now as a 38 year old woman I struggle with social interactions, especially when I'm at work. I still feel like a 6-13 year old who was rejected and humiliated most of the time. It's so hard to get out of that place.
I hear you and I encourage you to try the Daily Practice (free course). It can help with the understandable fears and resentments, and it is a technique that led to Anna's own healing (she uses it to this day!). Here it is: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
After I was in therapy for a while and started to heal, I realized part of why I waited so long to ask for help was the fear of losing my family forever. I didn't think I could survive that. I loved my family and I knew I needed to let go of them and focus on doing what I needed to do to start to heal. I had spent my life trying to make them understand I wasn't bad. I guess I finally reached my pain threshold and all I wanted was for the pain stop. So I committed and stuck to it and it was worth it
I appreciate this channel so much! It has helped me more than private therapy to heal, CBT, talking therapy are all great but its so much better to heal with someone who got their qualifications through life and not just through books! Im getting there ❤
We're so glad to hear that you've found help here! Thank you for taking the time to share your kind words towards Anna. We appreciate you here! Nika@TeamFairy
This is SO helpful! I needed exactly this. You are brilliant, Anna. And yes, I’m going to make my recovery from addiction my number one priority now. My number 2 is to learn how to regulate my emotions and thoughts.
I love her too, what has helped me in my healing is being present, not relying on external stimulation, relying on internal stimulation, being present with ur heart, not brain, it sucked, I felt like I was dying but it helped shift the pain and I am starting to feel lighter.
I have a hard time with self-rejection, perfectionism, and victim mentality. I feel convinced in the moment that I'll be rejected before I even try so I wont talk to that person or post that thing or share. Even writing this comment is incredibly hard. I set the intention to move on from these things but I don't feel like I'm taking any real steps to heal which is super frustrating. Patience with myself has been incredibly low.
Thank you. I am so grateful for the opportunity to address these problems I have had. I am 60 years old and have missed out on so much with regard to relationships. I hope to obtain some of what I have missed.
Wonderful! So glad you are here! This link takes you to the Daily Practice, one of the most important tools in the box :) bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy
Omg at last someone who understands. Nothing was working for me and felt like a failure. Went to numerous therapists. Going to try your methods. Thank you for doing what you do 💜
Finally someone that really understands it. I also went to al-anon as an adult child of an alcoholic for years and I felt stuck there for years going over and over about what happened in the past. Don’t get me wrong it helped me alot at the beginning talking about it but after a while i felt i wasn’t going no where. I always felt something was missing in the program to hep people keep growing and healed. I agree with you and it completely makes sense. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, Anna, I can't believe it, it is really working. I cannot thank you enough. You are right, it is easy to slip back into fear but the daily practice really helps allay the fear.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I am shocked and thrilled and scared that it won't last but I can tap into it. It is a break through, thanks to you. At first I balked, I left your videos but then kept coming back because I could tell from the way you were talking that you had achieved what I was looking for in myself. Now I just have to dig deep and keep going. I can already see differences in how my family and coworkers are responding to this new behaviour and it is all positive. Thank you Anna.
I'd like to request, to whoever manages the "Closed Captions" settings for The Crappy Childhood Fairy" RUclips channel, to enable "auto translation" for all videos, like this one, have not yet been made available for non english speaking trauma survivors. Thank you for everything you do.
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Hi, I'm a therapist and CPTSD survivor who has just stumbled across your channel. I absolutely support your mission to democratise healing. I have been told many times within my profession not to share potent healing resources with clients that they can use outside of sessions. But for me, these techniques were life saving and if I had just healed one hour a week in therapy (when I could afford it) I would never had survived. I'm so glad about the work you are doing to share such important knowledge.
Wow I'm shocked but not surprised. The only therapist I want to see is the one on a mission to make his field obsolete. I remember when I told my last therapist that I was going to start doing IFS therapy at home with the Jay Early book "Self Therapy" and he strongly advised me against it. That was the last time I saw him after 15 years off and on.
@Source-Somatics thank you so much for commenting! I appreciate that you see the value in sharing resources with everyone- or trying to :)
Love to you. Thank you
@@eastalawest1633 Did Jay Early's book help.
@@noneofurbusiness5223 Yes
1. Learn what complex PTSD is.
2. Be willing to notice the problems that have nothing to do with trauma. (Like tardiness)
3. Prepare to move your stories from current thought to “the memory bucket.” (Write to release.)
4. Stop trying to make other people Not trigger you.
5. Stop trash-talking the people who you choose to have in your life.
6. Stop clinging to bad relationships that make you miserable.
7. Don’t stay in work that makes you miserable unless your life depends on it.
8. Detach from the belief that you magically attract the wrong people.
9. If you have addictive behaviors, make recovery your first priority.
10. Sit down and ask yourself, If I really had this problem (CPTSD), what are 10 things I could do?
Awesome synopsis, thank you so much!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you!
This is so great! I'm saving it because these videos are so chalk full of nuggets and I don't write things down like I mean to!
Screen shotting this in addition to watching! Good to refer back! Thanks!!
Thank you.
I healed my CPSTD by stopping talking about my sexual abuse and going back to that little boy and gave him the confidence to be the man he wanted to be. Daily meditation for 5 years, yes it's a long road but you can get there. Eventually you can even forgive the family perpetrators and enablers.
Good for you! You have internal wisdom. I quit talking about bad memories, and it takes the power away from them.
@@momijiyamanishi4548 yes, you are spot on!
Wow! Thank you, chickenliam! I love hearing about your simple (not easy of course,) persistent, healing path, that came from listening to yourself. Beautiful.
I've been working on this- going back to the turning point of abuse and trying to redo. Being a teenager again when you are well over 50 is .... interesting.... :)
It's amazing how hard you've worked to become the person you are today. That's wonderful. At the same time, forgiveness isn't the magic bullet everyone makes it out to be. It's a lot like religion. People blindly believe it because they've been told to by pop self-help outlets. It doesn't (and can't) work for everyone. It's not even emotionally healthy. It puts all the emphasis on the person who tormented you rather than on yourself (where the focus should be). Sometimes, not forgiving someone can be just as liberating. It's okay to not be okay.
Living humbly alone is better than being in a bad relationship.
Yep, I shared a bed with both my kids at my mom's house after leaving my abusive husband and it was my so much better.
@@halfmoon2075 Glad you found some peace and relief.
What is humbly alone ?
@@owaisnaderi1431 not around chaotic people as much.
You’re better than 95% of the therapists out there!
Make that 100%! I spent way too much time and money on them. I've found that doing fun things, walks sitting in parks, trips, occasional small indulgences, being very selective with whom I associate, journaling, and watching a lot of Anna's and others' You tube videos, help me so much more.
I forgot how to enjoy life
I am a retired therapist and will say the majority are "meh"
You are AMAZING. ❤ Its so important to stop labeling (is that a word?) people around us and start to focusing on ourselves. That's the only healthy way!
Maybe because you've relied on therapist to have the answers or solve the problems for you instead of partnership.idk
Honestly I love this woman. You can tell she has actual experience and recovered from it. It's so easy to think that it'll never get better but she gives me hope. God Bless you Anna
Thank you. Big hug from me to you.
100% agreed. I couldn't put it into words better than that.
I agree with you.
Traditional therapy hasn’t worked for so many.
This woman doesn’t treat the symptoms, she reaches to the core of CPSD. And instead treats the problem.
I believe her.
Yes, she gives me hope. I’m not alone. I’m not weird and afraid of people. I’m good, kind and loving. I raise two wonderful kids who are now married living productive lives. I’m trying to learn how to love myself more and not shame or punish myself. Anna, thank you.
M okmom oklook k lolo lo
1. Leave the place where a large chunk of the trauma happened
Im considering it..
That helped me too. ❤
So, I have to leave my mother then? I do love her very much. I do want to move out eventually
When it's possible!
At least as a place to heal. I moved down state for college and it was far easier to benefit from therapy or practice in self regulation not having everything around me be a trigger of the past. Things like very specific combinations of mundane landmarks like electrical poles and vacant lots by street signs have even been triggers to me. Things I would fixate on car rides to check out, frequently visited locations, even unique weather conditions.
You could always return when you feel ready, and part of me always wants to. But part of me loves the life I made on my own away from all the memories, and maybe you could too.
I definitely understand why some people move their whole lives, always wanting to leave one chapter behind them and move on to the next. But ultimately I know I want a place to call my own. Undoubtedly I'd recommend to most to at least have a place of trauma, a place of healing, and a place of new beginnings (even if just locally and that means moving to new regions in town and frequenting new regions along each stage).
Gosh, how true, the world is full of people saying “you triggered me” instead of “I’m triggered, and I can learn how to manage my triggers and overcome them.”
Yes- we can get free needing to control others to feel better! It's SO liberating!
-Cara@TeamFairy
"Is being miserable at work the way you avoid facing the responsibility for your life?" Mic drop. Wow. Straight in the feels.
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
I have been in years of therapy. I had gotten so sick and tired of rehashing all the crap from the past. I just want to get better. I absolutely think I stumbled by total accident upon this person- and SO glad I did. I have hope that I just get out of the straightjacket of my mind finally.
The rehashing gets so old...I get it
-Cara@TeamFairy
"When the student is ready, the teacher will come." 😉 Encouraging to see someone Ready. 🙌
stumbled upon this, but no accident. so grateful.
No this was not by accident or a coincidence….your higher self and guides led you to the help you needed, bc you were truly searching and want to heal, and are ready.
Same, on and off. I'm currently in counseling. It's short term and she wants me to go into trauma therapy and do EMDR. I did that 7 years ago, but it didn't really seem to help. We were focusing on childhood trauma and nor relationship trauma, which was worse. However, I just dont want to talk to another therapist. I'm thinking about Somatic Therapy and doing some regression therapy. By that, I don't mean revisiting old trauma, more like hypnosis.
Watching “how to emotionally regulate” videos when I’m dysregulated makes me feel better. Thank you 🌸
Love that!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for this I am away to watch just now :)
ADD + CPTSD is really a difficult process & I appreciate your support for those of us that are the “black sheep” out here in the world. ✨🕊💖🙏🏼✨
:)
Yes in my family I’m definitely labeled as the black sheep 🐑
I was last and least, bullied hit hard black sheep until 30, now I see the past, lack courage, my life is wasted, it’s over for me
Please don't give up. Put the time in to learn how to heal yourself. You're worth it. You can still have a good life.
@@nt557i feel you! I lost my job and because I think everything goes wrong in my life i found a small gig that wasnt viable me just to survive. I ended up getting unemployment right when i started the job. After working there for a week, it was clear my employer was taking complete advantage of me. He wanted my car, and when it broke down he wouldnt let me work untill i could fix it. (He wasnt upfront about the job duties and wouldnt let ne use his work vehicle intended for what he wanted. Now i cant recieve unemployment. I have $10 to my name, no car, no job. Since my Mom died my family hasnt interacted with eachother, all my older sisters who instilled self doubt in me all have happy families and moved on. My dad also found a new family. I feel so alone and such a failure. Smoking a bit of weed is the only thing that stops the flashbacks and nightmares for the night, probably because i had to use that instead of going to therepy while my mom was dieing. All i did was stay home and try to take care of her. Its all feels so fucked.
No 9 . All the way. I do'nt tolerate unhealthy people or relationships anymore. But a lot of locked in grief and anger
Good for you! That's a biggie.
@@dommccaffry3802 how did you manage to set boundaries with these kind of people if you don't mind me asking? Did you just cut contact or Did you have a word with them? It's a safety concern for myself and not sure how/where to get away
Thank you for helping me gain tools and giving me words like "dysregulation" to describe my unhealthy responses from CPTSD. I stayed in an unhealthy marriage for 28 years and I have stayed in jobs with bad bosses way too long. I am now learning to set healthy boundaries with the people in my life.
Glad to hear that using our tools and words has helped you in the process of healing. Sending you encouragement. Jack@TeamFairy
I went through 16 years of neglect, physical abuse, fear, anxiety and all that. My diagnosis are borderline, ptsd, adhd and so on. Now I have realized thanks to you that I for SURE do not have borderline and that most if not everything that is wrong with my head is CPTSD.
This woman is better than the majority of therapists.
Sometimes the hardest part about relationships is that if you stop meeting the wrong people then you don't meet any people at all, but I guess that's better after all.
Thanks for all the great videos by the way!
But with healing, the options magically change :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
yeah, I want to heal. I have a nephew and I need to be in his life. I need to be in my life. ohhh yes, I need a memory bucket.
I believe in you, Gaby.
Thanks so much for being here!
I also started healing in part because of my nephew. I'm rooting for you!
Wow - another great Anna quote, "What I attract has nothing to do with what I attach to" - so well said, and I'm really just waking up to this new way of looking at my life and my relationships. Thank you!
Indeed. That quote is a game changer for me.
Cheers.
I don't know if most people just know all this, but for me, this video amongst your other videos are so encouraging and helpful. I am sitting here thinking and understanding that I don't have to be like this anymore. i can change the way I do and feel.
I appreciate you. I've noticed, as I've reached a certain point in my healing, that people, both good and bad, are coming (back) into my life. Some from the past and some new folks. I'm being careful in choosing who gets to stay & who doesn't. These videos are helping me understand myself and how/why I react to certain situations. Bless you, ma'am.
This is so interesting! I have (in the past) experienced this kind of reverse-exodus too. It does seem that our healing subtly communicates with the world and presents opportunities to repair, rearrange and (sometimes) reject the problems of the past. Very proud of you for all you are doing!
I have learned to mask my symptoms, I’m social , cheerful. When around people no one can tell what is going on inside me. The only time I know is visible is when I feel depressed then I stay away. Love your tips on how to get better I tried many things and so far I am stuck.
Thank you for sharing the light 💥
You're the best channel with the most empowering and grounded material I've come across. I am grateful that you had the strength and determination to heal from your childhood, because your authenticity makes the content have an extra powerful effect.
Wow, thank you!
Yes. It makes me feel hopeful finally ❤
The labelling thing also leads to a bunch of research rabbit holes (which I don’t hate) and second guessing which is actively detrimental. Things got much better when I figured out I didn’t have to know why, and could shrug and walk away.
YES!
This is so interesting because I also do this a lot and it’s causing my so much anxiety and distress unrelated to bad events in my life. When the solution is simply: Not to Do That. But it’s hard when it’s become a habit.
Hmm I always thought this was adhd. But thinking most of my things are actually cptsd
Watching your videos is like listening to a sister. Your demeanor is so comforting and I can relate to you so well. Thank you so much for being there. I feel 'normal' with you! And ps, I love your handle ...Crappy childhood fairy.... You're amazing.
I agree.
11:02 comments about care giving to parents with dementia, THANK YOU. My C-PTSD makes it difficult to decide if I am harming myself by caring for mom.
Same!!!
Yes, this practice can help with our discernment process bit.ly/3608opl
Personally it took me 29 years to free myself from the false sense of obligation/duty to become the caregiver of my two abusers. I respect whomever decides to care for their elder parents (with or without dimentia), but personally, I think that when the parents were the ones who put you through narcissistic abuse (and kept doing it in adulthood until you started zero contact), getting close to them again is terribly negative for the healing process… and I also think it should be addressed that even in circumstances like that, parents are not entitled to their daughters or sons dedicating their lives to care for them.
I had a major breakthrough yesterday: my husband stated that he was going to give our 2 year old a shower, instead of a bath, and I lost my cookie. I freaked out because my mother neglected us kids and I wrongfully believed my husband was just being lazy, like my mom. Just being able to recognize when I'm triggered has been the most important part of my healing.
Glad you're here and healing. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
As an incest survivor, this message has triggered me in a whole lot different way 🫣
@@yasemins1313I’m sorry you experienced that. ❤
Dear dear Anna - there’s NO question I am ALIVE today because of God guiding me to you 31/2 yrs ago.
Many brutal bottoms yet your random shared about about ACA in-which I discovered HOME at 62. I know for a fact I would not be on the planet literally - the truth bares repeating thanks to extraordinary,
incredibly GENEROUS YOU! ❤❤❤
Oh, how wonderful! What a good Thanksgiving Day message. 3.5 years ago - that means you have some seniority around here. Thanks for being part of this revolution. Thanks for healing and sharing the truth about it! It helps all of us!
My whole life was from age 5 my mom needing me take care of her. I never learned to take care of me.
I need help. Somethings wrong with me and I feel sick mentally. That same sick feeling as a kid when my mother was separated from me and when she would yell or throw things. I just realized this is something which needs to be addressed. Abandonment issues?
Glad you're here, there are a lot of strategies for healing :)
Right there with you.
@@JukemDrawles87 take contact with doctor or anything they will tell you why and what to do. They know this stuff, also all doctors have education in trauma!!
@@catlove5227 I’m sort of seeing a psychiatrist now, though I think a therapist would help more. Thank you
I so ♥️ that you say we don’t attract narcissists & toxics , but we attach to them…..that’s me due to childhood programming ❣️ healing more each day & let go of several during lockdown…ty Anna🎂💗
When you said something about just having superficial relationships and gaining self esteem from just having a job, I felt that in the deepest recesses of my authenticity.
Anna, I am an older adult with CPTSD. After 22 years of heavy drinking and drug use starting when I was 14, I've been drug and alcohol free for 28 years.
I did a lot of talk therapy with a psychologist and **a lot** of AA and Al-anon meetings over the years. Until I watched this video however, I was convinced that only the worst kinds of people were attracted to me. From my somewhat faulty perspective that's what always seemed to happen. Now that I've seen this video I have a more clear view of this dynamic that includes my part in it. I think the ability to see my part will help me to eventually be free from this limiting belief.
I am thankful for your videos and find you to be articulate and wise. I think someone who has endured some painful experiences and has come out on the other side such as yourself is in a prime position to help others.
Thank you for all your hard work, you are truly helping to make the world a better place by helping people to realize more peace in their hearts and minds.
💐🙂🌻❤🌱
So glad that you can see that there is still hope! There are absolutely great people out there that will be attracted to you. We're rooting for you and are so glad you're here. - Ashley, Team Fairy
Reading The Body Keeps Score right now I am hooked wow such an amazing book.
Woohoo! Glad that you're reading it. Such a great book and one of Anna's faves too! - Ashley, Team Fairy
I'm considering buying the book. Is there mention of ways to change our behavior and heal?
@@pennyc7064 yes there is it's a really really good book I love it I'm not even done with it yet I have it on Audible. I want to get a hard copy though so I can highlight different pages and stuff.
@@ginacheselka6086 thanks for your reply. I'll probably get the hard copy too. There is another book I've heard about but not read, called When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate.
Plz suggest me your book for childhood trauma cptsd..plz name the book and were can I find it@@CrappyChildhoodFairy
I think one of the reasons we all love you is that you do all the right things to help us feel safe...prosody, a kind expression...perfect for staying Ventral according to Polyvagal Theory! Your voice and manner is so soothing!!
:)
The path towards healing is always facing what's wrong.
Thanks for your participation :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I feel like it's not the memories of the trauma that cause the problem (though those events certainly were the cause of the injury) but the injury itself that is the source of my pain. If I break my toe on a table leg, the table leg certainly was the cause of the break, but the cause of the pain that needs healing is the break. Healing the injury doesn't involve the table leg at all. I can walk by the table leg, recall the injury and give the leg a wide berth in future, but just looking at the table leg doesn't incite new pain later.
I've got to find a way to heal the shame, the guilt, the incredible lack of self-esteem (essentially worthlessness) that resulted from abandonment that is the issue. People keep telling me to "stop living in the past," but I'm not. I don't think about the events that traumatized me at all (at least I didn't until I had a complete come apart and people started poking around in my brain for the cause). I suffer from the damage done to my self by the event. I'll never be able to reconcile those events with a manageable level of stress response because I am no longer the kid who suffered existential threat. Rationally, I recognize that my triggers are not actually high level threats, but my brain and body respond as if they are because of the injury of past trauma. The biggest one absolutely was existential in nature and killed the boy who was me before. What it left behind was an adult with no friends, a history of divorce and job loss and who processes everything through an injured brain. I need to find a way to heal the break. Addressing the actual damage should restore full and proper function of my brain. Right?
I cannot say what will happen with your brain; I definitely recommend you choose and follow a healing regime
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is exactly how I experience life. I will always be that little girl, no matter what. It's like it's a way of life for me and there's nothing I can do about it. Raised in a home by parents who are emotionally neglected during their childhood. I'm not safe in my own body. It's like this trauma happened before I was born. I feel so empty and just don't know what to do. I'm constantly in freeze flight fawn modus. Life is not supposed to be like this right? Complex trauma is such a crappy feeling and that is an understatement!
Please look into getting a book from Dr. Caroline Leaf 🍃
I been guilty of so many stuff so far. Yes, I've been into alcohol, heavily, Yes, I been heavily into diagnosing the ones who hurt me. I was probably right, but it was worthless absolutely. Today I also realized that everytime I get angry because I was hurt or disrespected or wronged, when I angry, that is definitely not self-love and definitely does not serve me.
Thanks Anna
C-ptsd survivor myself. You have pretty much identified it in previous videos but one of the most difficult patterns to get out of is: victimhood, blaming parents (with the payoff I'm unfixable), self identity of I'm ill unfixable.... almost looking for illness labels so they don't have to face life.
The faliure of intimacy, toxic communication, the drama karpman triangle in ACA families... with multiple layers of toxicity....
Thanks again for all your work
I've half-assed my life. That's it in a nutshell. Thank you for your work Anna, it helped me shift profoundly.
Making so much progress. Realized today that I defend myself for EVERYTHING. Friend shared a silly joke and I automatically defended myself about the content.
I was late but I saw it! Now I know to watch that.
Thank you so much for the daily practice. 😊
SO glad the Daily Practice is helping you :)
It took me years to understand that my boundaries and personal space deserves to be respected and protected. Still working on this lesson. 🌸
It's a lot of work and we become awake to all the ways we don't demand respect as we go...glad you are here
-Cara@TeamFairy
I just found your channel and I cant believe how every single symptom you talk about fits me to a T. Disregulation, crashes, extreme anxiety and stress, unable to do even small tasks, and total avoidance, especially avoiding people. The crazy thing is, I never would have guessed that I had CPTSD. I always thought I had an okay childhood. My dad was strict and sometimes demeaning, but i dont consider it abuse and others have it so so much worse. As an adult, I went through a divorce and then became a heroin addict, both of which were probably also traumatic, but I still never considered myself as someone who had suffered trauma. Yet, all of your videos fit me to an extreme amount and these symptoms have ruined my life so much that I cant function or work or do anything normal. I thought i just had social anxiety. Anyway, I'm still unsure if i actually have trauma, but I'm definitely benefiting from your videos, and they've really made me think, so thank you.
C-PTSD diagnosis or not, glad the videos are helping! Thanks for watching!
These videos hit me so hard that I can’t get through them. I have to watch in short clips because I’m so ashamed. The weight of my half-assed life is too heavy. I can’t reconcile with myself about it.
You absolutely can! You will need help though. Glad you are here, check out crappychildhoodfairy website for more help :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
need to weaken your inner-critic
I can relate. I’m really glad you wrote this comment. I like you. I feel very similar. Sending love. Something about the way she says stuff is difficult for me, makes me feel awful. I usually only listen part way through. I definitely feel you. 💕
@@jenrich111 💯 X 1M - othws you can't see or feel any hope
Anna is literally saving lives 💕 thank you for all you have done for me and my family.
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
My craniotomy in 2018 unleashed the sexual abuse and emotional abuse by my mother memories. Both are dead. I could finally say the word molested. I kept it under wraps for years. My family ( 5 brothers) and I never talked about it. Except when I first told my mother what my father did when I was 28. Later she said she asked him what he did. The story she told me was my father said I was mentally ill. I’m 69. From 28 until I was 68 I thought I was mentally ill. I still never discussed it with my brothers or friends. My psychiatrist told me last year that panic attacks and anxiety didn’t mean I was mentally ill. So I feel like I was in a coma and woke up to a truth that has been heartbreaking since 2018.
This is awesome, Anna! Every point made total sense to me. I'm learning at age 64 what my triggers are and using your tips to get them under control without blaming someone else. Thank you!!!
Wonderful!
This might sound dumb, but I was having a hard time wrapping up on how I wanted to re-do the yard. I wanted to do it, but was worried about the “why did you plant that?” Stuff. I told myself to pretend I was selling the house and just do it. It worked. The naysayers can go wherever they go.
I am watching this 2 years after it qas posted and I have to say I am so thankul i stumbled on your channel and have begun my official journey to healing. I've been doing some things just out of maturity and did not know until recently that i have CPTSD and am an addict. I have been working for 3 years now to kick my addictions. Thank you for your insights and for the wealth of information!
What I attract has nothing to do with what I attach to.
Exactly!
Doing the writing every day about my fear regarding a breakup, it has been really good and helped a lot.
So, I am getting better. I totally embraced the kitchen thing a while back. When I think I'm totally worthless, I can see that I have made progress. I keep kitchen and bathroom and my bedroom very clean. I have more to do but I have made progress.
I'm also totally clear about NOT driving even I'm scattered. You call it dysregulation. I have learned hard way, NOT TO DRIVE or make important calls, etc when my brain is out of balance.
Today I celebrate one year in one of my support group and I am so proud of my sobriety I set my mind up and this one-year accomplishment shows me it's possible anything I set my mind to achieve thank you I enjoy your channel thank you Ana
I’ve been married for over 30 years. I’m so tired of practitioners telling me to leave my husband. So wrong
Absolutely not for anyone to tell you what to do. For more help getting clear on what is honest for you, try Anna's free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Fantastic guidance. Better Late then never in old age cannot break away have to work on what I can mentally.
You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy
Is wanting control a part of PTSD? I don’t want anyone to do the dishes besides me, and I am TRIGGERED by loud music!
The music perhaps, but prob not the dishes.
Ok. It’s like I want control. And with my music, I lose it and can’t think straight. I’m in some sort of panic or nervous mode.
The dishes could depend on whether someone else previously broke (or was careless with) things that you treasured. In which case, I'd also be nervous about letting someone manhandle my preciousssses. (My inner Gollum really doesn't like people messing with my pretties.)
I hear you! It’s more like I don’t think they’re cleaning them right and I want to make sure they’re clean and set up the way I like them.
@@nybombay3378 I have some input, stick with me.... I've gotta say that sounds like being a control freak - which I hate to say because someone told me I was once and I reacted TERRIBLY, and I couldn't see it for years! Eventually I figured out that it was my lack of self-esteem and consequent perfectionism that did make me controlling about things (not everything)... I work heard to not be so perfectionist. Ultimately I was prompted to answer b/c you sound just like someone I used to be friends with who did the same, she was SURE no one could do her dishes well enough... I'm no longer her friend b/c her self-esteem issues were so disruptive to having a decent friendship... awareness of the issue is the first step towards healing whatever the issue stems from. Just my two cents!
You are saving my life! I’m so happy I found you. I’m beginning to understand myself and CPTSD and your videos help me each day. Thank you!!! Namaste. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I feel lost lately and whenever I feel loneliest or saddest I have that same sick mental feeling as I did when I was a child, when my mother would yell and when they separated her from me
Glad you're here :)
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Wow you are so great at talking about these subjects without judgement and with love, I can really tell you want to help others
Soooo glad a friend shared Anna with me as I am doing with others as well!!! I'm loving and soooo appreciative of all the information. This is the parenting that both my parents and I never received and I thank God for using Anna to help me and others!! May our Creator bless you and your team immensely!
What I love about your channel is putting the power back into the survivor rather than hating on the person who did the abuse. The "narcissist " videos on other self-help channels can be really damaging, I think. That's black and white thinking and correctional officer thinking. Better to be empowered, as you say. And to develop more accurate discernment. Thank you and God bless you.
Anna is very intentional about this feel. We love that you "get it"
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy :) I edited for grammar/spelling.
That video was beyond amazing I wish I could put it on prime time TV that the world to see!!❣️I would be happy if I could get my children to watch it.
Hi Shirley
Maybe one day! I would like that too :)
I am so excited that there is a growing abundance of resources like this out there for CPTSD. I absolutely love my parents but they were only 19 when they had me. My dad had unresolved trauma that made my childhood very difficult, and it's lead me to a life of depression, social anxiety, and panic disorder. PTSD is better known as a veteran's issue or partner-based domestic violence abuse. There haven't been resources in the last 20 years for children of domestic violence. But that's where it all stems from, for so many issues. It's exciting to see this change and awareness. I recently went through old videos of my childhood - my family loved to record the good times - and I put together a video as a form of therapy. I don't know if it'll help anyone else, but maybe it can. Regardless, it's fun to see flashbacks to the 90s. I was sobbing for a solid 24 hours straight making it.
Every time the things you say are a much needed slap in the face, thank you ☺️
I agree, a little bit tough, reminding us the work involved!
I try :)
I love your empowered approach.
Yep. 10 months sober from alcohol. Getting better and better everyday. There is no way, just no way i could be engaged honestly with myself to be so connected to my healing process now. I just could not stay the course and make meaningful change. Now i feel ok. Just ok is good. Real good. 😊
That's really happy news. Glad you are here.
Another great video. I love it. Double down on our healing. I feel like it is hard for us to wrap our heads around what it takes to heal and once we are able to take it more seriously we do the things you mention here like, stop focusing on the abuser, evaluate/eliminate our use of substances, understand what CPTSD really is, etc. I used to say I attracted cluster Bs as well but now I agree that I was just tolerating people. Now I have just become intolerant of being treated poorly. REALLY IMPORTANT: Love how you said that labeling people should be avoided. So true! It only makes it worse. Love how you said, "I attract mosquitos 🦟 but I wouldn't get into a relationship with one!" LOL! 🤣😀 Could you imagine if one were to be in a relationship with a mosquito? "NO! Don't smack him! That's my husband Larry!" 😀🤣😀🤣 Thank you for this video ❤
It can be overwhelming. My courses are set up in a focused specific way for just that reason!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I will look into them and see if there is something you offer that I may benefit from. If I were to ask you: Self-worth work and integrating my perfectionism are the areas I want to focus on. Got anything to help with these things?
Thank you for the mosquito joke. You had me laughing out loud. I needed that. 💜
This video is full of information. I find the more I progress in healing, the more the people I’ve held closest to me, are becoming a misery. They don’t trigger me, and one is narcissist with her share of nice in the mix, but she is going nuts because I don’t oblige her manipulation anymore. I’m trying to find a brighter focus, it requires my attention, not much in my upbringing was even remotely optimistic. I’m weary of phones calls that interfere with my efforts. There is so much bad information overwhelming people, that normal people are becoming filled up with media garbage, I no longer offer my brain to talking heads. I get what’s evident, I can’t understand the free floating emotions that seem to come without triggers, they are hard to make out. In any case, I guess my next step is to quit smoking cigarettes, I’d love know how you did that Anna, because I sense I will find myself extremely tigger happy, they do help. Peace and love! ♥️🕊
hello- Cara here, helping Anna with comments. I could NOT quit smoking but after exactly one year of the Daily Practice (including Transcendental Meditation), it happened! 11 years smoke free now. Here is link to the free course bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
You hit the nail on the head with so many points in this video.
Thank you for your helpful suggestions. 🙏
Glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
THANK YOU for making this channel. you are a fairy
Thanks you so much Anna for all your wonderful content. It has helped me so much to continue on my path of healing and growth. Your balanced and compassionate approach is so refreshing and comforting. Your are a gift to all those who suffer with the symptoms of CPTSD.
I never even knew I had been tramatized until a couple of months ago. I am 60 now.
you have the space to heal now :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
my favorite thing about your content is that you are no nonsense. it's so hard to find genuine people
Choosing Me, choosing Happiness is my superpower!
Anna, you're my Hero!
But I hate it when I am told: "but what happened to me is much worse and I'm doing fine!", "put your big girl pants on and move on!", "just don't go that rabbithole into your darkplace, just don't and then everything will be fine!", "dramaqueen!". And at the same time: "don't think you're superwoman who can do everything by yourself!". People are sooooo confusing! Just give me my cat and my plants!
When I wake up in the morning I tell myself: "I do this for me and for me only!" With all the ups and downs.
Ha ha yes, those are a lot of conflicting messages, probably from well meaning people but not really helpful.
These are amazing, practical tools. All of the psycho babel is great for diagnosis but, I already know my trauma. I need to know how to function with it. Your series has helped calm my anxiety.
So glad!
My anger issues are so much better with her help.
I was diagnosed with Stage 4A ovarian cancer June 2022. Ovarian Cancer is sensitive to stress. 60 yrs old Scapegoat, still being scapegoated by “family”. Mother is a covert
Hi Dee, that's big. Now is the time to put your healing first. With all my heart, I urge you to learn the Daily Practice techniques I teach, and join me on my next call.
I am really appreciating your material these days...and how you deliver it! It is really resonating with me.
I'm so glad :) -Calista@TeamFairy
It's difficult to let go of people who trigger you every time you speak to them if those are the ones who implemented cPTSD in you in the first place: your parents. And they do the same damage now to my little nieces. Implementing cPTSD by overcontrolling, chronically worrying parents and grandparents who punish children for their emotions and only focus on their school success for over 50 years now. But I am working on it.
This makes me feel so much better about myself. It's so nice to know others have the same struggles. I've been working on this for years but this is helping me step it up!!
I'm so glad!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I AM one of those people who has spent their whole life alone in trauma and have tried lots of stuff but nothing has worked.
It feels hard to try. to change again when its already too late
Please be sensitive. to people like me when you talk about "NOT wanting to be someone who never heals .. cause we are out here.
Finally someone who I can relate to. I never knew ptsd from child hood trauma abuse and losing 3 of my siblings in 3 different accidents at an early age effected me as an adult. Now I know why I get triggers and what triggers do to me. So, blessed to have found this channel! Years I thought I was some crazy person, but no I’m a an adult who suffered years of abuse and losses.
This is so empowering. Can't thank you enough for providing this series on RUclips. I found you last night, watched a few videos, felt immediate connection and resonance with what you're saying and your approach. Went to bed and woke up feeling more hopeful that I really can heal than I have in years. Finally, someone who's been through it, understands, and has found the path out!
I am so grateful that in my journey through healing I found you ! I am commenting now in the hope that more people will have access to your work...
We need you, people of the cptsd to heal and also very importantly : to be happy. I know your heart, your hurt but I also know your hopes and dreams, the little wishes held in the secret of our souls... the strength I discovered in myself when I finally understood what happened to me, I wish you discover it too and keep doing the good work !
Thank you Anna !!!
Thank you so much! I hope that the word spreads as well, I believe so much in this work!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm a bullying survivor - I mean I've been bullied as a child because I was very seriously ill and overweigth. It lasted for 7 years and now as a 38 year old woman I struggle with social interactions, especially when I'm at work. I still feel like a 6-13 year old who was rejected and humiliated most of the time. It's so hard to get out of that place.
I hear you and I encourage you to try the Daily Practice (free course). It can help with the understandable fears and resentments, and it is a technique that led to Anna's own healing (she uses it to this day!). Here it is: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
After I was in therapy for a while and started to heal, I realized part of why I waited so long to ask for help was the fear of losing my family forever. I didn't think I could survive that. I loved my family and I knew I needed to let go of them and focus on doing what I needed to do to start to heal. I had spent my life trying to make them understand I wasn't bad. I guess I finally reached my pain threshold and all I wanted was for the pain stop. So I committed and stuck to it and it was worth it
I appreciate this channel so much! It has helped me more than private therapy to heal, CBT, talking therapy are all great but its so much better to heal with someone who got their qualifications through life and not just through books! Im getting there ❤
We're so glad to hear that you've found help here! Thank you for taking the time to share your kind words towards Anna. We appreciate you here!
Nika@TeamFairy
I love your work! it makes me feel inspired to become a counsellor and help people!
I'm so glad!
This is SO helpful! I needed exactly this. You are brilliant, Anna. And yes, I’m going to make my recovery from addiction my number one priority now. My number 2 is to learn how to regulate my emotions and thoughts.
I love her too, what has helped me in my healing is being present, not relying on external stimulation, relying on internal stimulation, being present with ur heart, not brain, it sucked, I felt like I was dying but it helped shift the pain and I am starting to feel lighter.
You are worth the hard work!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you :)
It goes feel like a constant hemorrhage, that's a great (horrifically accurate) way to describe it
Yes
Mosquitos like those with b12 deficiencies, comes from certain bacteria. Mineral rich crops resist disease. And so it is with us.
I have a hard time with self-rejection, perfectionism, and victim mentality. I feel convinced in the moment that I'll be rejected before I even try so I wont talk to that person or post that thing or share. Even writing this comment is incredibly hard. I set the intention to move on from these things but I don't feel like I'm taking any real steps to heal which is super frustrating. Patience with myself has been incredibly low.
We would recommend that you try the 'Healing Childhood PTSD' course, which addresses all the issues you just mentioned.
-Cara@TeamFairy
I gotta put recovery first
Thank you. I am so grateful for the opportunity to address these problems I have had. I am 60 years old and have missed out on so much with regard to relationships. I hope to obtain some of what I have missed.
Wonderful! So glad you are here! This link takes you to the Daily Practice, one of the most important tools in the box :) bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
Omg at last someone who understands. Nothing was working for me and felt like a failure. Went to numerous therapists. Going to try your methods. Thank you for doing what you do 💜
Finally someone that really understands it. I also went to al-anon as an adult child of an alcoholic for years and I felt stuck there for years going over and over about what happened in the past. Don’t get me wrong it helped me alot at the beginning talking about it but after a while i felt i wasn’t going no where. I always felt something was missing in the program to hep people keep growing and healed. I agree with you and it completely makes sense. Thank you for sharing this.
👍🏻👍🏻
Wow, Anna, I can't believe it, it is really working. I cannot thank you enough. You are right, it is easy to slip back into fear but the daily practice really helps allay the fear.
it's amazing, right? I'm so happy you're experiencing that healing!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I am shocked and thrilled and scared that it won't last but I can tap into it. It is a break through, thanks to you. At first I balked, I left your videos but then kept coming back because I could tell from the way you were talking that you had achieved what I was looking for in myself. Now I just have to dig deep and keep going. I can already see differences in how my family and coworkers are responding to this new behaviour and it is all positive. Thank you Anna.
This video was very stressful to listen to...AND was EXACTLY what I needed..thank you!
Sometimes that is how it works isn't it?
-Cara@TeamFairy
Focusing on myself will always be my superpower.
I'd like to request, to whoever manages the "Closed Captions" settings for The Crappy Childhood Fairy" RUclips channel, to enable "auto translation" for all videos, like this one, have not yet been made available for non english speaking trauma survivors. Thank you for everything you do.
I really admire people with these kinds of obligations and stay doing what they need to do for years! ....in spite of suffering CPTSD.