MURDAUGH: SECRETS, TRAUMA, POWER & SHAME: with FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGIST DR JOHN MATTHIAS

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @HiddenTrueCrime
    @HiddenTrueCrime  Год назад +42

    See Part 1 here: tinyurl.com/bdvuep5p Friday's show HERE: tinyurl.com/67h49awz View our FULL MURDAUGH PLAYLIST HERE: tinyurl.com/bden8hbn ... To support our channel and work, or to join John's book club, head here: www.patreon.com/hiddentruecrime
    THANK YOU to our new subscribers and those who gave this video a thumbs up!

    • @georgewashington3555
      @georgewashington3555 Год назад

      Lying to Grand Jury , is beyond corruption. having to manufacture evidence to have a person indicted is super dirty illegal and corrupt. Sled Agent Owens did that. State would have not gotten the indictment if they did not lie about the guns.. and also about Blood on the shirt. its ok that you analyze his psychology however the evidence also has to prove he did it, and State does not have it.

    • @georgewashington3555
      @georgewashington3555 Год назад +2

      Lauren Matthias you as a reporter should know why Waters keeps asking Alex to give him word by word example what he told someone.. because he wanted a sound bite to use against Alex in his closing to the jury. Alex is a lawyer, he knows why he is asking.. and again, Waters is trying to accuse Alex of murder, by talking about his financial crimes. No,. state did not prove he killed them. You can talk about psychology but evidence that he killed them has to be presented. Maggys phone never traveled along with his phone. No explanation.

    • @gracielacanales9548
      @gracielacanales9548 Год назад +1

      Omg I saw dr Mathias on RUclips 😂😂 I’ve seen a couple of my best RUclipsrs on Netflix nice surprise!!

  • @susanwood9959
    @susanwood9959 Год назад +274

    These last three shows have been brilliant. The psychological perspective makes your show by far the most enlightening about the Murdaugh case. The family systems perspective explains so much about this family.

    • @emilieLPG
      @emilieLPG Год назад +19

      100% - Paul's "Timmy" has been mentioned a few times, but never mentioned during trial or recognized, and immediately juxtaposed that to what we're seeing. Family silence over traumatic situations takes a toll, it's why when one breaks the cycle it's truly a huge moment. For anyone out there who has broken the cycle, or even attempted to, you're a very strong person and a good person!

    • @ssmith364
      @ssmith364 Год назад +10

      I agree with you!!! The psychological aspect is so interesting and is why I keep coming back 😊👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I love these last few show 👍🏽 GREAT JOB!!!!

    • @ssmith364
      @ssmith364 Год назад +3

      The rumor in HAMPTON County was the MURDAUGH could make you disappear!

    • @call.me.archie
      @call.me.archie Год назад +5

      ​@@ssmith364 there sure are alot of bodies surround Alex murdaughs family. Who knows how many there really are..

    • @iyaakasha9029
      @iyaakasha9029 Год назад +8

      I really agree that this perspective brings the MOTIVE TO LIGHT.... difficult possibly to convey to a jury? Thanks so much.

  • @sharonchristian8508
    @sharonchristian8508 Год назад +121

    Thankyou Dr John for teaching about shame as a family dynamic. I am 75. I grew up in an incest family. I actually didn't know everyone didn't have sex with male family members until I was in college.
    I also was present at age six when grandmother beat grandfather over head with rolling pin by which he died.
    I have paid for therapy for many years but there are loose ends that I still didn't understand.
    Shame was a dynamic I was awhere of and have been trying to understand.
    You both have helped my to understand things that happened in my life. I can only express my gratitude.
    The problem with a therapeutic relationship is that many therapists are not willing to just openly talk about these things. If as I am, able to think and talk, it is not helpful to have to beat around the bush to go at the therapist comfort pace.
    I have lived this for at least 70 years and I am coming to grips with what happened to all of us. I am thankful for your willingness to just talk about it.

    • @rootzero
      @rootzero Год назад +4

      💕❤️💫✨️🌟✨️💫❤️💕

    • @pawsome1859
      @pawsome1859 Год назад +4

      ❤️

    • @elizabethofblueridge1617
      @elizabethofblueridge1617 Год назад +2

      ♥️

    • @amandajohnson-williams7718
      @amandajohnson-williams7718 Год назад +2

      Brave lady 💟💟💟 well done you!

    • @helengren9349
      @helengren9349 Год назад +2

      It is sad to see what You've gone trough.😢 Please 🙏 kindly contact Quantum healing with Tena and Karen (they have channel on yt & contact info in description box of the vid) .. They do remote check of what have happened in Your life & heal experiences that need healing.. Blessings 🙏🕊️🌟

  • @katanyajason3316
    @katanyajason3316 Год назад +98

    Shame is the hardest emotion to endure. Much more than guilt. Because guilt = "I DID bad" but shame = "I AM bad"

    • @stephanieRae444
      @stephanieRae444 Год назад +1

      Exactly

    • @nevernever5063
      @nevernever5063 Год назад +1

      Well said

    • @annebiggins7180
      @annebiggins7180 Год назад +2

      He refuses to admit in front of a group he lied to each victim. Wonder if on a 1 to 1 he might admit? Pandora's box is opening up 🙀

    • @howlingwaters2741
      @howlingwaters2741 Год назад +3

      But if we don't have to be taught to be bad or do bad things, isn't it the moral compass that most are born with, that causes us to feel guilt or be ashamed?
      Now, being *ashamed* is different from being *shamed* and also from bringing shame upon one's family.
      Some feelings of guilt are justified.
      Some feelings of shame are justified. When we *do* bad things, guilt is justified.
      Once we are old enough to know right from wrong, these feelings do keep us humble once we experience the consequences of our deeds; IF we have that capacity.
      As noted, when Murdaugh was shamed by the judge about the bootlegging operation, it backfired, and he doubled down.
      Back when the obits were the first section folks turned to in the morning, Libby's grasp for attention by submitting her own obituary would've caused a stir and embarrassment to the family.
      Oddly enough, papers make these mistakes when rumors of one's demise are premature. They are typically submitted by *funeral homes* to prevent such mistakes. Anybody know where Libby could've gotten her hands on some letterhead?
      Alex Murdaugh was shamed by Judge Newman. Justifiably. Did it work? I believe we've gotten the answer.
      Would the tragic flaw then be: He tried to avoid the shameful consequences of multiple crimes by committing the most egregious of all crimes, shaming the family (ironically) irredeemably?

  • @ForestLadyForever
    @ForestLadyForever Год назад +103

    Inherited trauma makes total sense to me. My grandfather was orphaned at 13 by his mother's suicide. He was the one who found her. A few years later, he was a marine fighting at Guadalcanal in WWII. He never talked about his experiences. I grew up believing that my grandmother had died in a terrible, firearm mishandling accident. It's always better to know the truth. I speak openly about my depression, etc, to break the cycle of terrible secrecy. Thank you for everything you do, Lauren and Dr. John!

    • @joridgway5074
      @joridgway5074 Год назад +4

      This is the best description of a dysfunctional family unit that I have ever heard. So simple to understand. Do you agree that all families are disfunction, but with varying degrees and types?

    • @joridgway5074
      @joridgway5074 Год назад +1

      Can't understand conversation clearly. Could you put the words to it Please.?

    • @jrmac-e7k
      @jrmac-e7k Год назад +4

      my dad was at Guadalcanal too and suffered emotionally

    • @ForestLadyForever
      @ForestLadyForever Год назад +2

      @@jrmac-e7k I'm so sorry. I recently googled pictures of Guadalcanal, during WWII, to get a better idea of what it would have been like for my grandfather. It made me cry. My grandmother said that if they ever saw a film in movie theatre that had battle scenes, my grandfather would drench his clothes with sweat and shake a bit. He definitely had unresolved trauma, but he just "toughed" it out. I knew my grandfather loved me, but there was something about him that intimidated me and commanded awe. Knowing what I do now, I wish I could reach back in time and give him a hug. I still don't know what I would say to him, but he was a man of few words. I think he would understand it all through that hug.

    • @ForestLadyForever
      @ForestLadyForever Год назад

      @@joridgway5074 are you asking about my family, or the Murdaughs? Either is fine, just curious so I know how to respond.

  • @DonnaLena1
    @DonnaLena1 Год назад +64

    Dr John, Another observation of the Murdaugh family life: Paul’s friends talk about how they all stayed at Moselle and how Alex and Maggie welcomed them into the pack. I’ve known other dysfunctional families who always had other people around and I think it’s because they avoid being alone together. It’s easier to stay shallow in your relationships when you’re in a crowd. Those young people at Moselle were left unsupervised, free to do whatever, from playing with expensive, deadly guns to drinking themselves silly. Just more evidence of how belonging to the Murdaugh’s clan didn’t mean they had any intimacy or adult supervision.

    • @vebarnid
      @vebarnid Год назад +12

      I also find it interesting when I think about Blanca’s comment (I believe she testified to this) about Alex not ever wanting to be alone … I think people who cannot be comfortable in solitude are usually those seeking to be comforted by others constantly.

    • @DonnaLena1
      @DonnaLena1 Год назад +11

      @@vebarnid True! I think Alex requires constant attention, for distraction from his own emptiness or to make him feel important.

    • @maureenbrown6697
      @maureenbrown6697 9 месяцев назад +2

      I question if part of it might be rooted in narcissism as well. Having friends & acquaintances around would give a narcissist the opportunity to put on a show for them. And by show I mean a show of normalcy, having this perfect or happy family. Also the opportunity to show off the properties & things they have boats, guns, etc. But it's all a facade & only some of those within the family would truly know this. To everyone else on the outside looking in, it looks like a charmed, great life.

  • @diananewton6573
    @diananewton6573 Год назад +92

    Utterly fascinating. When Dr. John made the statement about Paul and Maggie being expendable…wow…so powerful and tragic. I have watched the entire trial and documentaries, and this resonated so deeply. Alex also viewed Maggie’s role as mother, the person responsible for making sure house ran smoothly. And when she couldn’t control Paul, perhaps Alex had rage against her, too. He wouldn’t have been going through the struggle if she had “done her job” so to speak.

    • @DonnaLena1
      @DonnaLena1 Год назад +20

      Paul was raised like a stray puppy that was sometimes amusing but mostly was a pain in their butts 😢

    • @Cjs48
      @Cjs48 Год назад +11

      @@DonnaLena1 Great analogy…
      In my eyes these people were all over the road….ADD😳Heads in the clouds, no discipline …all about the family power, money…. Highly
      Undeveloped people internally…more like a bunch of empty posers…wild animals….unable , unwilling to do the hard work of
      Parenting…. More interested in taking the easy way out… flash and cash….looks like the gig is up and some hard lesson will be learned!!!

    • @nevernever5063
      @nevernever5063 Год назад +2

      I would to know how the jurors feel now. I would think they would be learning about all of the things they DIDN'T know.

    • @diananewton6573
      @diananewton6573 Год назад +1

      @@nevernever5063 Yes, me too.

    • @diananewton6573
      @diananewton6573 Год назад +3

      @@DonnaLena1 Yep. I don’t know why, but I feel sorry for him in some ways. I live near several of the richest places in the country and that’s what many of the children are, stray puppies raised by nannies. So much pressure too to live up to family standard and go to Ivy League. These kids have so many issues. I feel like Paul didn’t fit or want to fit and wanted someone to care and stop his recklessness. But maybe I’m way off since we don’t know any of them. Just sad. I have children same age as Paul and Buster.

  • @Yogelaine
    @Yogelaine Год назад +40

    Just listened to part 1 on podcast. I am so glad you are unpacking the systemic pathology of violence and entitlement in this family and multi generational trauma that is exemplary of patriarchal grandiosity. All the lawyers commenting this case do not want to consider this aspect yet it answers all the questions they are grappling with in court from motive to behaviour to compulsive lying and absence of empathy (when he says he "loves" all his financial victims!

  • @cccsssish
    @cccsssish Год назад +53

    Every time Paul got in trouble, he got a clear reminder and reassuring of his belonging to the family when they all showed up to clean after his mess

    • @zanzer386
      @zanzer386 Год назад +7

      Maybe that’s the only way Paul could get the attention he craved and perhaps he only felt the family come together when he messed up so he kept messing up. But unbeknownst to him, his mess ups only proved him to be a liability to the family legacy…

    • @Cjs48
      @Cjs48 Год назад +5

      No consequences, no conscience!!

    • @dmbdana
      @dmbdana Год назад +1

      Paul probably realized they showed up to protect the family and not Paul.

  • @user-rc2ym5tr3v
    @user-rc2ym5tr3v Год назад +10

    Dr John, Conroy explained this southern family dynamic in poetic terms, and you are explaining it in scientific terms, both of which help those of us who grew up in it understand it better. The proclivity to actively ignore things that might be seen as negative, and the value placed on being perceived as a “character” cannot be overstated.

  • @CZ0RZ
    @CZ0RZ Год назад +5

    It is a gift to listen to Dr. John Matthias talk about cases and criminal profiles.

  • @christinasachin8684
    @christinasachin8684 Год назад +35

    Learning to accept and overcome depression is alot of work and requires tremendous strength, determination and perseverance.

  • @lane6216
    @lane6216 Год назад +21

    The jailhouse calls remind me so much of calls with my father. Alec reminds me a lot of him. My dad won’t go below the surface, and he’ll fight you if you try to make him. He sets the pace, and that’s that. I think the only reason he didn’t kill my mother is that he moved far away. To avoid child support, but still, if that hadn’t happened, I truly believe he would have.

  • @BostonSarah
    @BostonSarah Год назад +14

    Exceptional episode! These last three episodes have not only helped to understand the Murdaugh's, but also my father and his family, which I have been struggling to understand my whole life (43yrs!). THANK YOU, Dr. John!!!

  • @lynettekrick2324
    @lynettekrick2324 Год назад +21

    When someone is truly "Sorry" for their behavior, they don't just say it. They change their behavior and don't do the "Sorry" act again.

  • @gillieography
    @gillieography Год назад +19

    I cannot get enough of your insight into Alex, his family history, and this whole case. I don’t think you can make sense of any of this without understanding that family.

  • @americaneclectic
    @americaneclectic Год назад +46

    I live in South Carolina. I have been professionally exposed to the home lives of many families. The presence of secrets, family expectation of success in their definition of success, not recognizing depression, repressing anger, unhealthy codependency, I’ve seen it all. Sometimes, if I blundered into these complexities, I became the scapegoat for any discomfort they experienced. Maybe all peoples in all locations have these problems, but I can only speak to what I’ve experienced.

    • @amandamooreVA
      @amandamooreVA Год назад

      I’d bet, thankfully, of all those you’ve worked for, 0 have murdered their spouse and child. I have a hard time with the leaps being made by many, though respect their educated opinions.

    • @nettwench
      @nettwench Год назад +3

      The truth teller is always attacked. They will defend their denial and the family facade to the death.

  • @kathys5525
    @kathys5525 Год назад +27

    So good, just SO darm good Dr John!!! The duo of Lauren's Investigating & Dr John's immennse knowledge, brilliance in explaining the Psychology of Criminals is unbelievable!!!! Bravo!

    • @zanzer386
      @zanzer386 Год назад +2

      Agreed 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @lisasmith7
    @lisasmith7 Год назад +15

    Generational trauma is so deep. The whole thing is such a shame. I really enjoy getting both of your thoughts and opinions. Great series. Have a great week.

  • @elizabethramsey7706
    @elizabethramsey7706 Год назад +14

    Thank you so much for sharing these insights - I work with trauma healing & see the generational shame & ties of generations that keep families from freedom !

  • @adelinecalise9214
    @adelinecalise9214 Год назад +11

    You 2 deserve whatever award is available for your “Hidden True Crime”*

  • @Coxfaimilyhomestead
    @Coxfaimilyhomestead Год назад +10

    These last three shows have been so important for me …. I needed to understand the whole story and now I believe that I do. Thank you

  • @ruthpearsall2618
    @ruthpearsall2618 Год назад +29

    This is probably the most valuable resource I’ve found about the Murdaugh case (and I’ve seen a lot of information!). Key to everything are the family dynamics involved going back generations.
    I would love to hear Dr John’s opinions on AM’s brothers, Randy and JohnM. JMM in particular seemed quite close to Paul. Randy saw Paul drinking hard on the night of the boat crash. Again, ‘close’ might be a misnomer, they all seemed to talk constantly on the phone but never about anything except taking care of business.

  • @trailrunner925
    @trailrunner925 Год назад +52

    I've lived in several rural counties (twice the population of Colleton County SC, in various areas of the U.S.). The power structures in them tend to be "good ol boys" who protect the "other good ol boys".... everyone "knows the players", and that you can't get around them.... kinda like Mallory Beach's boyfriend says in the police cam, when asked who was driving the boat "You know Alex Murdaugh, his son, good luck with that".

    • @offgridjack5779
      @offgridjack5779 Год назад

      Every small town I've lived in in Oregon and Washington State is "good ol Boy" and corrupt as hell and everybody there KNOWS it!!

    • @thebiscuitrose
      @thebiscuitrose Год назад +4

      That's amazing that Mallorys' boyfriend said that. How we live with accepted oppression.

    • @thebiscuitrose
      @thebiscuitrose Год назад +1

      @@mistycool yes mam. I see it daily. It's scary. Psychopaths.

    • @mardyross2838
      @mardyross2838 Год назад +1

      Colorado also.

    • @Figgyplum
      @Figgyplum 9 месяцев назад

      An Entitled Male!

  • @kelrogers8480
    @kelrogers8480 Год назад +47

    When you think of the narcissistic trait of splitting - I'm listening to your talk on Alex's violence and drinking, and I can't help thinking Paul sounded much like his father. I believe that Paul was the scapegoat child for Alec: the Child Who reflected all his shame and, frankly, all his crap, back to himself. Buster on the other hand reflects the Golden image that his father wishes to push forward. The godlike brilliance and perfection that Alec wishes to present to the world. Hence Alec continues to push and manipulate his son into returning to Law School even while he, his father, is in jail.

    • @nettwench
      @nettwench Год назад +5

      Totally agree. Narcissists need scapegoats. There's a family dynamic going on when a parent is a narcissist.

    • @amandajohnson-williams7718
      @amandajohnson-williams7718 Год назад +5

      Yes, it seems astounding that Alex should assume his son Buster would still aspire to become a Lawyer with Alex as a role model, under these circumstances! It's like Alex is in complete denial of what has happened, I guess it's shame avoidance.

    • @carolynwright3026
      @carolynwright3026 Год назад

      I think y’all are spot on! I thought he was very mad at Paul! A crime of passion!

  • @robyncasey625
    @robyncasey625 Год назад +81

    I think another reason Alex will not tell how he looked someone in the eye and lied to them is because he is looking the jury in the eye in the courtroom every day and this will be a reminder to them that he will be lying in their faces also.

    • @Barb417
      @Barb417 Год назад +12

      Prosecutor was bringing out that he is looking in the eye of jurors and lying to them.

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot Год назад +4

      @@Barb417 that is really sad, because the kid never had a chance, if he had loving responsible parents and he didn’t have to play the “little detective” with his fathers drug habits he may have turned out to be a good human being. He probably had parts of him that were decent and he turned to alcohol just like his father turned to drugs, there is something called “pathological intoxication” and it’s a real thing, it’s when people do crazy things under the influence of alcohol. It’s when a person with mental illness has a temporary psychotic often violent reaction to alcohol. Maybe Alex and his family have ALL have that. Sounds so familiar to pathological intoxication. If you watch this movie “final analysis” the main character played by Kim Basinger kills her husband after drinking cough syrup which has alcohol in it and has a psychotic episode she can’t remember and she was also sexually abused by her father which didn’t help her mental issues. She has had that reaction before, and been told not to drink and doesn’t realize the cough syrup can cause it because of the alcohol content, she literally turns up the bottle and chugs it. Later they defend her by explaining she was diagnosed with pathological intoxication and that she can’t drink any alcohol. It’s one of her best roles she ever has played, and she was magnificent in it. I agree with her co star Richard Gere she deserves an award for that role. I have seen people react to alcohol like that and not remember what they did. Even small amounts of alcohol, can trigger it. It’s mind blowing to read the research about it and how many people it affects.

    • @Barb417
      @Barb417 Год назад +1

      @foxibot I am the daughter of an alcoholic. I witnessed many an episode where my father physically abused my mother in a drunken rage. He was a WWII vet and experienced the horrors of war. Which we didn't learn about until recently, believe it or not. He never once spoke about his military experience. We learned, through letters that were found, that he saw more than most.
      When he was sober, he was the sweetest, kindest man who would tend to the homeless and help Viet Nam vets.
      How well I know what alcohol can do. Fortunately for the seven of us, we were disciplined. The law was and is the law abd we didn't have wealth. Paul was not disciplined by his parents. His family coontrolled the law in that area. He had some fine qualities from what I read. It wasn't PMs fault he got caught up in the power, privilege and neglect of his family.
      Both boys could have had bright and beautiful futures, if things were different. Very sad for all involved.

    • @missourimom9140
      @missourimom9140 Год назад +2

      Robyn, that thought never even occurred to me, and it makes total sense. Thanks for your helpful comment!

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot Год назад

      @@Barb417 it is very sad and I’m glad that you saw and had empathy and compassion for your father, I had similar experience with a family member that had suffered terrible terrible trauma and I always suspected something but they finally had the courage to tell me, it makes it so much easier to forgive them during the bad times when they were so scared and lost and trying to figure out how to cope. The problem was the same, in that generation they were told not to speak of any personal trauma, which is terrible and made them sick, but once they unburdened themselves they began to heal. And I wouldn’t trade them although when they drank it was hard, that’s why I don’t believe in keeping secrets or trying to cope by yourself with trauma. It’s isn’t any cliche that secrets make you sick. My grandparents always told their kids to keep family business personal but that is dangerous. If a child or person has no where to go and they have serious trauma. God bless you, I’m sure your father was so grateful for you ma Cher. That’s just like saying dear or darlin in Cajun or love.

  • @amando1377
    @amando1377 Год назад +42

    Speaking of Alex’s shame: I would have been so ashamed of Maggie and Paul on that 911 call when Gloria fell at the house.

    • @swimfor1000yrs
      @swimfor1000yrs Год назад +16

      I had previously felt so sorry for Maggie and Paul. When I listened to that 911 call it chilled me and made me wonder about the whole family. Neither Paul or Maggie showed one ounce of panic, concern or stress over a woman who had raised Paul and been with them for 15 years. I was in shock. I would have been more panicked for a stranger/ a homeless person/ an enemy than they showed for that woman. Scary!!!!

    • @Milady-Potts
      @Milady-Potts Год назад +10

      I found that call shocking too. It was as if it was a huge inconvenience to have her bleeding on her steps. No connection, comfort or concern.

    • @JustMe-cl4qc
      @JustMe-cl4qc Год назад +3

      The gardner said Alex was not at the house when Gloria fell. Allegedly he didn't see what happened but ran to help her up. Did she find Alex's pills an tell Maggie who became angry. Housekeepers are expected to do their job saying nothing about what they see.

    • @Candy-O1776
      @Candy-O1776 Год назад +3

      @@JustMe-cl4qc yes, she found his pills and told Paul. I find it strange that Alex just happened to drive up right after it happened, before the cops got there.

  • @megancarroll
    @megancarroll Год назад +33

    Catching up! This is amazing. My ex husband was a golden child caught in triangulation, even as an adult. It was so bizarre and deeply woven into the fabric of the family.

    • @subobing3551
      @subobing3551 Год назад +2

      What does that mean ?

    • @megancarroll
      @megancarroll Год назад

      @@subobing3551 his parents involved him in their marriage to save it. They talk about Buster having the same role

  • @crashde5995
    @crashde5995 Год назад +6

    All the jurors should be allowed to watch this. I’m so afraid that a few might have sympathy for him…..SMH Thank you Lauren and John! ALWAYS AN OUTSTANDING INFORMATIONAL SHOW!

  • @babyrenee6537
    @babyrenee6537 Год назад +72

    At 19 Paul's rebellion, irresponsible drinking and recklessness were owing to his youth still or to the tragic consequences of his parents' enablement, entitlement and detachment. Isn't it rich that, at 53~having so long embezzled from his firm, bilked his partners, betrayed the trust of so many in community, robbed friends, even ripped off his own relatives~Alex blamed his son's boat wreck for destroying his reputation bringing shame upon the Murdaugh name.. you did that all by yourself Alex. But eliminating Paul meant the boat case would also disappear~and along w it the demands for bus records or scrutiny of missing funds

    • @eva1480
      @eva1480 Год назад +6

      Yes as a father Alex you supposed to set an example good mortals. Not hiding your vices work on them you see where you lead your family. How Alex would sleep at night knowing many of those people he robed where those nit having a lot of means

    • @babyrenee6537
      @babyrenee6537 Год назад +15

      ​@@kevinhornbuckle Alex feared exposure of his own crimes, the hefty settlement for Paul's wreck and the millions, both directly and indirectly~in real property, lost assets, reputation, lifestyle and ultimately livelihood~it would inevitably cost him. And he blamed Paul for all of it since he saw the boat case as outing the totality of his financial crimes. His day of reckoning was June 10 just 2 days later.. When Beach family atty testified a hearing was set by which time if Alex still refused to disclose what Tinsley believed must be hidden assets in order to settle for $30M they would go fwd w the lawsuit. "The fuse had been lit" Tinsley testified~a chain of events which, in Alex' twisted mind could only be 'averted' by another tragedy.. But in reality only multiplied everyone's sorrow exponentially.

    • @allisonhaskell5440
      @allisonhaskell5440 Год назад +1

      Oh yea he started his mess long before boat accident .. for sure .. murdered his son and Wife straight thinking what was going to save him … just laughable .. Embezzler, drug dealer , bank fraud , Liar , cheat .. murderer ! Horrible horrible ! God will handle him ! Far as Paul his behavior .. well can say because of his father and mother but truly we have great parents in this world and their children go out party drink just being teenagers .. think they are invincible . So was he cocky acting that’s what they say so guess he expected daddy would get him out of trouble because daddy always said he would . So yea okay then blame daddy and mommy .. just remember though all those kids on the boat were drinking and partying .. all good kids , one died ! Horrible ! Paul should not been driving .
      Like I said that was Alex’s motive for killing his son . Shows his real lack of love for anyone but himself !
      Evil. If he had any remorse of anything he would tell his attorneys to stop trial and plead guilty ! Not put his son or the all the families Thru this nonsense ! At his punishment .. and slither away to his cell ! I just hope Buster , Maggie’s family , the rest of the Murdaugh can accept that Alex is guilty of this evil thing and Can move forward ! Praying for the Beache’s as always and the Housekeepers Family as well and pray they have gotten what they should of gotten years ago ! 🙏🙏🙏🙏along with all the other victims of Alex

    • @kathleenk7170
      @kathleenk7170 Год назад +3

      @@babyrenee6537 I think your point is the crux of motivation to create another tragedy. The epitome of the mental illness that has gone unchecked.for generations.

    • @babyrenee6537
      @babyrenee6537 Год назад +2

      @@kathleenk7170 yes pity jurors couldnt be told that for every one of his upcoming financial criminal cases, Mr. Remorse entered a plea of Not Guilty:/ Guess now we just hope that, if no juror's been too swept away by his sniveling theatrics on stand a mo. later they may still recall Tinsley's testimony. Or Waters will refresh their memories re these damning facts, and reminds them to save their sympathy instead for Maggie, Paul, Marion, Buster and the endless trail of Alex' other victims.

  • @mehmetsbirlik4112
    @mehmetsbirlik4112 Год назад +21

    It was most insightful and educational time I had about the case!!! Time well spent and I'm so thankful to you both!

  • @kaybrown4010
    @kaybrown4010 Год назад +10

    Very insightful on many levels, especially regarding generational phantom trauma and shame. Thank you for shining the light on these issues.

  • @secolerice
    @secolerice Год назад +11

    I saw your first video on the family shame and it revealed so much to me that helped make sense of what I was seeing. I knew nothing about this situation before this trial. I have been watching lawyer RUclipsrs since the Depp/Heard trial. I shared your video with them and they don't believe in the physiological aspects as being important compared to the legal aspects. They are really looking at it as lawyers, whereas I am looking at it as a potential juror and as a person interested in people. I was having trouble with comparing my intuition with the clinical, legal view. Your discussion here have really helped me. I like learning about the legal system and how trials work (I have been a juror on 1), but I am also watching the people and learning how I read them. I thank you for providing a place to understand this. You have a new subscriber.

  • @amoshtael1844
    @amoshtael1844 Год назад +26

    Your insights are so amazing and so meaningful, Dr John. Thank you for your hard work and great communication also. High quality channel.

  • @ese-vato-loco8062
    @ese-vato-loco8062 Год назад +1

    I watched this trial from start to finish on Emily D Bakers channel and it was my first trial, I had many unanswered questions until I listened to you explain the history of this family, I greatly appreciate your insight and I've even gained some insight into my own family dynamics. Thank you both so very much for the work you are doing here on your channel.

  • @jaydee8404
    @jaydee8404 Год назад +39

    Thanks for the insight… Paul also had ADHD. My hunch, he was a difficult child, despite parental failure. The parents didn’t do him any favors whatsoever. Like you said all, he really needed was boundaries and love. You both make such a great team. Really enjoying these videos.

    • @cgxoxo1
      @cgxoxo1 Год назад +2

      @@colemansines9722ADHD doesn’t make you into a manipulative person, it’s a disorder many perfectly normal nice people struggle with. Not in the case of the Murdaughs though

    • @elisecunningham5239
      @elisecunningham5239 Год назад +1

      What do you think about Gloria being the mother figure for Paul? He got love from her but he was still out of control.

    • @justanothersmith6012
      @justanothersmith6012 Год назад

      Mandy Matney’s The Murdaugh Murders podcast has one show that interviews friends about who they really were. The friend describes Maggie as having a difficult time after Paul’s birth . She had Postpartum Depression . The friend said it didn’t appear like Maggie bonded with Paul the way she had with Buster. She described Maggie as a very involved mom but it was somewhat obvious she just never had the same connection with Paul. This is just one person’s experience or opinion. While interesting , it may or may not be true.

    • @justanothersmith6012
      @justanothersmith6012 Год назад

      Oh! Almost forgot! In the same interview the friend discussed a sort of mothers group meetup with kids in tow. They were pretty little at the time, but she said the boys were kind of mean and almost cruel to the other kids and they were never punished or reprimanded. She said Maggie actually thought it was funny and would laugh. Her kids could do no wrong.
      According to the friend, some moms dropped out because of it. The friend sounded credible and wasn’t trying to pile on , IMO, but it is just one person’s POV, so take it for what it’s worth.

    • @justanothersmith6012
      @justanothersmith6012 Год назад

      @@elisecunningham5239 Just my opinion, but I doubt if Gloria was allowed to punish the boys or require consequences for their actions. I believe she DID THINGS for them , like most mother’s do. Things like fixing their meals , packing their lunchbox, having their clothes ready , making sure they bathe and brush their teeth, do their homework , etc. There may have been lip service about her setting the boys straight or something, but she probably knew if she really took on that area of parenting , Maggie and Alex would not take kindly to it. JMO

  • @charlotte583
    @charlotte583 Год назад +11

    Another incredible episode…. Thank you both so much, they were all trapped in the Murdaugh paradigm, it’s reach was immense…. Reminds me of a lovely lady called Banaz Mahmod, I will never forget her…. She was the victim of one of many honour killings that occur… this seems so similar…. So many similarities to the dreadful ‘honour killings’ that happen… such betrayal and savagery, all born from a place of shame and ego… utterly devastating xx

  • @luciennetaylor4608
    @luciennetaylor4608 Год назад +10

    John , I know that hit you emotiontionally in that moment. It did me as well. I know you needed a minute. Thank you, from our hearts 💔

  • @passionpixie8020
    @passionpixie8020 Год назад +16

    So informative and spot on from my point of view. It is a sad, but scary situation. People lacking empathy is what should be feared in our society.

  • @eshiestrik2756
    @eshiestrik2756 Год назад +10

    Thank you, these podcasts have been very interesting. One of our sons suicided many years ago, but we have never chosen to hide from it. We've found that it has been much more useful to be open & to use what we have experienced & learned to grow & even, in some circumstances, to teach, rather than to hide or cover up what happened..
    Being an Australian, I'm new to this family story, so, from that position, these are my thoughts.
    From when I began to hear about the Murdough family, I've had the sense that Maggie and Alex had a physically violent relationship which is why Maggie prefers to be away from living with Alex. Interestingly, Alex keeps saying that he always wanted to be with Maggie, which is probably true, but it comes across as a Narcissistic controlling codependent relationship from Alex's point of view while Maggie spent as much time away from him as she could, even to the point of wanting to buy her own home; which Alex denied her because of the financial situation.

  • @abbabababoo2678
    @abbabababoo2678 Год назад +11

    Thank you for this. Dr. John’s insights & commentary are deeply appreciated. You make a great team !

  • @shazstar13
    @shazstar13 Год назад +16

    Notice that Alex never says sorry directly. He says “I’m sorry they got hurt” not “I’m sorry I hurt them” when talking about his family & friends.
    He also says “I would never hurt Maggie / Paul” but not “I would never kill them”.
    Paul seems to have been struggling with a lot of the same things as Alex did (violence, drinking) and had an alter ego with distinct physical characteristics. Is it possible Alex also has a dissociative personality?
    Maggie felt ostracised from the community over the boat crash. Can you imagine how ostracised she would feel when it came out her husband systematically stole from orphans, elderly, disabled individuals, police officers and other members of the community? Maggie had a cheque bounce (to a charity no less) and there was that circled charge on the credit card statement so I can imagine she’d been questioning their financial state. Alex has stated several times he is the provider, so her questioning that wouldn’t be good, especially since at least one property was in her name. I think she’d be savvy enough to know not to sign for more mortgages or loans under her name, knowing the debt would be hers. There also seem to be signs of coercive control and it feels like with both boys now out of the house, she was able to distance herself & think about leaving. Alex slipped during testimony & said “after Maggie asked me to leave” before catching himself & changing it to “go down to the kennels” then when describing his last moments (supposedly with his wife) he said “I’m leaving” so clearly there was something there. Maybe that explains the ring.
    William Parente. Christian Longo. Steven Sueppel. Mark Barton. Kevin Morrissey. Robert Bryant. Anthony Todt. All committed financial crimes & all murdered their families.

  • @lauraburger1272
    @lauraburger1272 Год назад +4

    I want you to know how much the last two videos hit home for me with our family dynamics… I am FLOORED how Spot-On you are with your assessments… I have been in tears during both videos. I wish I could see you for therapy sessions.

  • @66NEETS
    @66NEETS Год назад +42

    I agree w you Dr John , Paul’s wreck was the last straw for AM it was the beginning of the end it lead to his downfall w the form and all his fraud being exposed. Paul had to go in his mind and Maggie and his relationship is a problem he knows once he’s outed she’s not standing along side him just more money he will have to dish out . In the interim he probably hoped it would make him seem like a victim and ppl would
    Have mercy on his misdeeds

    • @missaries3960
      @missaries3960 Год назад +4

      Agreed 💯

    • @miramaric4025
      @miramaric4025 Год назад +7

      Man was under tremendous pressure , his entire life started
      To crumble . If is true that Maggie wanted to divorce him , that
      Was probably devastating for him . I dont know , she enjoyed
      Fancy lifestyle he provided while it lasted but wanted to secure
      Herself and leave him alone with his problems and demons ?
      How about " until death do us apart ? "

    • @mzkarmageddon2
      @mzkarmageddon2 Год назад +1

      ​​@@miramaric4025 you are aware that AM was abusive verbally, physically, mentally etc to Maggie?!! yeah well cold blooded murderer Alec made sure to it was "death do them part physically"
      with vows imo 'until death do us part' doesn't just mean physical but more importantly spiritual, she held
      up her end of this sick Murdaugh fam.

  • @rockindockinssc5625
    @rockindockinssc5625 Год назад +20

    What you said about Paul and violence and lack of parent boundaries. I remember one of the lawyers on the stand indicating how great Paul was with kids and that Paul and his son would go around and get rid of the hog population by knives. That is very violent for such an agressive animal. I felt a sense of horror that not only was Paul sort of groomed in the family to be this violent outcast, but that Paul was bringing this dynamic to others. This whole community is not healthy.

    • @carolabell77
      @carolabell77 Год назад +3

      I was shocked to hear that so much that I figured he misheard and was mistaken. 🤔

    • @nevernever5063
      @nevernever5063 Год назад +2

      Just like Alec, I believe Paul has two sides

    • @carolabell77
      @carolabell77 Год назад

      I can't imagine that kid out tangling with a wild hog bare handed except for a knife, sounds out there.

    • @dorothylewis1207
      @dorothylewis1207 Год назад +1

      @carolabell77 I can imagine Paul "playing" with wild Hogs, he most likely was drunk at the time. 🤔🐖

  • @williamdoublelink
    @williamdoublelink Год назад +20

    These are really excellent podcasts, and worth watching for the many human behavioural insights, regardless of whether you have been following the tragic heinous Alec Murdough murder case! Thank you. 👍🏽😊

  • @carrow1057
    @carrow1057 Год назад +2

    Absolutely brilliant summation of the Murdaughs, and the most important.

  • @nancygraves673
    @nancygraves673 Год назад +3

    Remember when Alex was asked how his relationship was with Paul he said “As best as it could be..” Fits in with Paul being expendable in the family. Great analysis!

  • @alexboogam
    @alexboogam Год назад +1

    Thankyou Dr. John for providing free of charge such insightful education to the general public. I have learned alot from you, most importantly surrounding good parenting.

  • @IzzyMariel
    @IzzyMariel Год назад +26

    Fits News just put out a youtube video tonight. While in court, they said they saw a folder on Creighton's computer desktop that contains the info that Alex is not a loving father and husband he portrays himself to be. Apparently they are generally aware of what would be contained in it due to previous conversations with confidential sources. Keep your fingers crossed that we see what it is in their rebuttal case.

    • @kathrynosullivan2743
      @kathrynosullivan2743 Год назад +2

      🤞🏼

    • @bethanywhite877
      @bethanywhite877 Год назад +3

      Both prosecution and defense should have that file correct? You can’t use confidential sources in court. So no here say and both sides must disclose all evidence presented in court correct?

    • @IzzyMariel
      @IzzyMariel Год назад +7

      @@bethanywhite877 Correct, both sides would have the file. It's probably driving Alex crazy wondering if the state is going to disclose it.

    • @sparkycalico1698
      @sparkycalico1698 Год назад +2

      I don't rely on fits news as a reliable source.

    • @IzzyMariel
      @IzzyMariel Год назад +3

      @@sparkycalico1698 then why are you here because Lauren and John do

  • @susieannei5641
    @susieannei5641 Год назад +22

    Alec couldn’t understand why Buster wouldn’t want to go back to that same property and hunt the same ground his mother’s and brother’s blood soaked that very ground.

    • @kerrilea73
      @kerrilea73 Год назад +1

      I think he was speaking in code

  • @LouisianaSaturdayNight
    @LouisianaSaturdayNight Год назад +107

    I listened to Mandy and Liz via the Murdaugh Murders podcast. There was one call between Alex and his sister in law. She mentioned to Alex that they missed Maggie and Paul at Christmas. Alex asked “what about me? Did y’all miss me?” Stopped me in my tracks.

    • @justanothersmith6012
      @justanothersmith6012 Год назад +27

      Didn’t stop Alex in his tracks. “ Oh, and will you get some flowers 💐then go put them on Paul & Maggie’s grave? And will you tell Grandma & PapaT that I’m responsible for them , so they don’t start thinkin’ I killed their daughter & grandson? Oh, and I need you to put money on my inmate friend’s commissary, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT in the next 10 minutes ⏳ or my jail scam won’t work 💰💸
      I have so much to tell you when I get outta here😎”

    • @nevernever5063
      @nevernever5063 Год назад

      Disgustind

    • @DonnaLena1
      @DonnaLena1 Год назад +6

      OMG that’s truly horrible, I missed that one. He’s such a glutton.

    • @pixiepancake4970
      @pixiepancake4970 Год назад +9

      I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your analysis. I’ve finally been able to understand the chasm in my own shame based family.

    • @annward7794
      @annward7794 Год назад +1

      @@justanothersmith6012 lol, tape probably exists too tho

  • @idgie1965
    @idgie1965 Год назад +4

    I have survived a very dysfunctional family, where I was the scapegoat child, and finally walked away; for self preservation. It almost killed me, literally, and although I am without that family dynamic - I have found that now I have made friends that fill the roles, of a [healthy, and better] family that I honestly missed out on. If anyone is reading this and feels lonely like I did without a family...if you're mistreated, know how much you are loved by The God who created you and loves you as if you are the only one that exists. You are not alone, and you are worthy of healthy loving relationships that you can actually meet who need you as much as you can need them. Sorry for rambling- I just felt led to share with anyone who may be lonely or sad. Much love!

    • @terriholliday8038
      @terriholliday8038 Год назад +1

      Congrats on walking away! I did too!

    • @idgie1965
      @idgie1965 Год назад +1

      @@terriholliday8038 congrats to you too! I'm so glad to know!

  • @will8939able
    @will8939able Год назад +16

    Curiously, my daughter and I were both saying that this was such a Southern gothic story. So much of southern literature deals with trauma

  • @jacquelinestanley9092
    @jacquelinestanley9092 Год назад +6

    Thanks so much ‘Hidden True Crime for this insightful perspective❤ I have been watching this case for a long time, no-one has explained the Murdaugh dynasty so succinctly ❤️

  • @sharonsanders3378
    @sharonsanders3378 Год назад +11

    Love all of Pat Conroy’s work. Appreciate this discussion….listened for the first time last week. I’ve been watching the trial with your shame discussion in mind. Thank you!

  • @shirleydarlington7700
    @shirleydarlington7700 Год назад +13

    Thanks Lauren and John for your excellent work and unique insights into these fascinating cases. You are an awesome duo! I love that Dr. John is such a scholar and shares his knowledge in such a humble and generous way. I have learned so much from listening to you. Thank you. X

  • @rajihoffmann4899
    @rajihoffmann4899 Год назад +9

    Dr. John has made this whole circus make sense to someone that needs the dots to connect! I also am a visual learner so the demonstrative chart was very helpful!

  • @NewMe-iq5os
    @NewMe-iq5os Год назад +60

    I was disgusted and hurt when Paul put down Morgan’s father. It triggered my own shame and why I married a narcissist who constantly let me know that I wasn’t good enough compared to his family. Took me 32 years to get out of that marriage. It wasn’t until I heard about narcissism and enmeshed “perfect” families that I finally realized that it wasn’t me and nothing I did would be good enough for him. And just like the Murdaughs, my ex’s families skeletons were all hidden and not to be discussed, while my family dysfunction was out in the open. Also, when he was around my family he was so sweet and they loved him. I never told them what he said about them behind their backs. Glad I’m out of it and thank you to shows like this!

    • @trailrunner925
      @trailrunner925 Год назад +5

      What did Paul say about Morgan's father?

    • @missaries3960
      @missaries3960 Год назад +4

      Yea, I thought that part of the documentary was particularly disgusting. Interesting to hear her side of the story.

    • @NewMe-iq5os
      @NewMe-iq5os Год назад +7

      @trailrunner he put her father down for not making a lot of money (or something like that). I’m sorry, I don’t recall exactly but it was essentially that she was inferior because her father was inferior. It wasn’t like he was a drug addict like Alex.

    • @missaries3960
      @missaries3960 Год назад +5

      @@trailrunner925 He said something really cruel about her father not being a good provider and not being able to provide for her family because he was a landscape architect

    • @sandrahill-qn6hb
      @sandrahill-qn6hb Год назад +12

      This is actually because morgan's mother works, paul's mother did not, so that morgan's dad didnt earn enough to support his family. An insult to her whole family. Paul's mother also had a housekeeper who raised paul.

  • @shellyjakes7065
    @shellyjakes7065 Год назад +4

    I watched your program twice . Excellent work !! Thank you for taking the time to educate us about familial shame. Your channel is the best.

  • @tracid1637
    @tracid1637 Год назад +2

    I’m so glad I found your program! It’s so informative. You’re both fantastic.
    I’ve been telling people for months that Alec is a family annihilator. It’s telling that his most scathing look at Waters (during cross examination) was following the question of whether he’s a family annihilator. Alec obviously knew the term and was rattled by it. He looked so menacing - like a killer.
    Btw, I’ve added your book recommendations to my list. I’m looking forward to your future programming. Thanks!!

  • @laurieroberts4260
    @laurieroberts4260 Год назад +42

    I don't think the shame issue will be lost on the people in that community. Shame is a big thing in Southern culture. We're told often when we mess up that we should be ashamed of ourselves and reminded of how our actions are a reflection on our family. And we don't immediately confront people who are lying to us. I think he was shown deference for his family and authority at first, but once we know someone is lying, we sit back and let them talk. It's more shameful for them to lie to you when you are still being respectful. It's a way "heaping coals" on them and giving them enough rope to hang themselves. And a narcissist will think you're buying what their selling and just go on forever. I think that's why they've let him drone on. Alex seems to think he is showing everyone that he is willing to take his medicine when he is really showing how incapable he is of describing what it is he has really done to all these people. For people who live in a culture where you are supposed to experience shame and be repentant, his lack of remorse is shocking. We may not understand the psychological factors behind it, but we can see he "ain't right." 😉

    • @laurieroberts4260
      @laurieroberts4260 Год назад +1

      @Kevin Hornbuckle I think shame has been corrupted by Satan or men. I have been taught in church that godly shame leads to repentance. I think the failure is in truly understanding godly shame. It is not the same as the shame most people feel. It is a misrepresentation of God if religious leaders use shame to control people. God's grace frees us from the shame, and the result should be rejoicing in the freedom from this shame. I don't know why some "religious" people can't extend this same grace to the people they lead. Maybe if they can point out the shame of others, then they don't have to deal with their own, or maybe they can't allow themselves to fully embrace God's grace? I think they are so afraid people may give themselves license to "go on sinning so that grace may abound," that they've swung the pendulum so far the other way. That's why it's so important to search for truth ourselves, and not just take some leader's word for it. It doesn't seem like this family had any strong religious affiliations, but it permeates the culture nonetheless.

  • @pithyparty6145
    @pithyparty6145 Год назад +2

    I've struck gold, here!!!! I love your channel! I'm a huge psychology/human behavior nerd so you bring a whole new level to the true crime piece. Thank you!!!

  • @michellelesser2924
    @michellelesser2924 Год назад +8

    (My comment is long, Im sorry)...This episode, aside from being super insightful on the Murdaugh family dynamics and shame, hit very, very close to home. My brother was the "golden child", and I was "the cause of all trouble" in my family; both he and I were adopted as well. And yes, in all my acting out (and there was a lot of it), all I wanted, ever, was to be a full member of the family. To know I was valued and wanted. We even had a family therapist and it was very close to what you said - fix me, and all the problems will be solved. Didn't help, and I remember the therapist tried, but was inelegant and ineffective...at one point, she was talking to my parents, and said, "every family has a person who is the family trash can. She is your trash can, and it's hurting her..." on this side of age, I understand what she was trying to convey, but at the time, it was both confirmational and horrifying that she called me a trash can...).
    I have had major depression since about 15 years old, and survived my brain attacks so far. Somehow, I've never given up, and I don't know why. I'm grateful, but just don't understand why.
    Interestingly, while my brother was the golden child, I was the one that both parents, long divorced (my fault?), relied on as they aged and passed...and was appointed by them to administer their estates. That was weird. And rough, as my brother thought he should've been the one, and even had an independent lawyer look over the trust paperwork...
    I was also the one they both wanted to come w them in their Dr's appointments, and tend them during hospice, and do all the funeral/burial arrangements. I've not yet figured out why me and not my brother, but I did it.
    All of this is to say that this episode hit home hard for me. And while, for me, it was hard to hear, it was also very useful to hear this "triangle" happens in other, rich/famous/powerful families, and that I'm not the "unique trash can" I've thought of myself as for decades.
    Keep doing this work, Loren and Dr John...its helping on many levels, some that you don't even realize, like giving me insights in my own family dynamics, and the lifelong fall out thosevdynamics. I appreciate you both!

    • @HiddenTrueCrime
      @HiddenTrueCrime  Год назад +8

      You are not a trash can!! We are so sorry that happened in your family, and we’re so glad you can see it for what it is, to not give up, and to work hard to know it is not your fault.

    • @michellelesser2924
      @michellelesser2924 Год назад +4

      @@HiddenTrueCrime no, I'm not, and I wasn't then; but I was the ostensible problem, and easy to "blame" for all familial ills. I understand that now, but at the time, I didnt, and behavior resulted from that concept. And I'm sorry it happened, too, for all concerned.
      My brother and I are still working thru the hard parts of our relationship but have vastly improved our relationship over the last few decades, and I've come to understand my parents honestly did the best they could with what they knew (generational stuff?), and when they knew better they did do better...
      But detritus still washes up, and insights are still occurring, and growth is still ongoing, and self acceptance is on going...and when I look back, the blessing embedded in my being the unincorporated child is that it made me so strong and so independent that I am well grounded, empathic and supportive of those around me and I've become a woman I'm proud of...and my 15 year old self is amazed she turned into me (lol).
      You both just rock. And are very appreciated!

  • @kristynix
    @kristynix Год назад +16

    I’ve been in and out of anger management all my life. As a child, being sad or expressing like emotions was not allowed; therefore, feelings would bottle up and ultimately come out in the form of 😈 That said, those close to me are really the only ones who would know this - acquaintances, coworkers, even some friends probably don’t even know this. AM’s “dark side”, as we call it, was probably suppressed to home.

    • @HiddenTrueCrime
      @HiddenTrueCrime  Год назад +4

      Thank you for sharing and explaining how this can happen and your personal experience

  • @cindariley7315
    @cindariley7315 Год назад +14

    What about Alex saying in court he thought the killers were people from the drowning at boat accident who hated Paul. How dare he blame the family if the dead girl, or others. Again passing the blame to save his butt… I cannot stand this man or give him any passes.
    Stephan, the maid, the paraplegic boy… Alex deserves GUILT!!

  • @tattfam3
    @tattfam3 Год назад +23

    His Family DIDN'T TELL HIM NO, YET WHEN HIS FRIENDS SAID NO YOU CAN'T DRIVE THE BOAT HE FLIPPED OUT AND ACTED OUT SMILING WHILE HE INJURED HIS FRIENDS AND ONE PERMANENTLY CAUSING DEATH, YET HE WAS NEVER SENT TO PERSONALLY APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE

    • @girlballer20
      @girlballer20 Год назад +12

      You're right! Lawyers NEVER apologize. I bet they don't teach their kids to either.

    • @eva1480
      @eva1480 Год назад +7

      It's terrible

    • @michelleayres5608
      @michelleayres5608 Год назад +14

      An apology would require taking responsibility. They were NEVER going to acknowledge Paul drove the boat.

    • @barbh1
      @barbh1 Год назад +6

      They decided to believe he wasn't driving.

    • @judymurray191
      @judymurray191 Год назад +10

      @@girlballer20Their motto is “never admit you did anything wrong”. Apologizing would mean you did something wrong. Disgusting! Alex tried to blame one of the other boys of driving in the boat wreck.

  • @carinamayleafmajlov2885
    @carinamayleafmajlov2885 Год назад +5

    I want to start and thank you for sharing your knowledge.
    English isn't my first language but you explain so i understand.
    Learning about human behavior is for me the key to so many problems, and your show makes me think out of my box.

  • @Ma1lbag
    @Ma1lbag Год назад +2

    Exactly Dr John, I came to that conclusion after listening to part one. When I said as much on another channel, I got just one reply (respectfully) that it’s a good theory but the State needs proof. AM almost sounds PROUD of his “character flaws” and confessions. I don’t see or hear any humility or remorse in him. If he was sincere he would volunteer restitution. Even if he doesn’t have much money. He could at least show some guilt, shame or remorse.This doesn’t pass the sound test. I think this it’s an act. And I remember exactly the last words I said to anyone close to me that has passed.

  • @dyanalynn6698
    @dyanalynn6698 Год назад +23

    1:34:07 You know what really sucks is that here Paul thought he was untouchable…his family would always protect him because they loved him, and it’s what they always did. That’s just another level of betrayal… I’ve no more words 😔

    • @franklinsfriend2035
      @franklinsfriend2035 Год назад

      Paul was untouchable until someone finally had enough and killed him.

    • @DonnaLena1
      @DonnaLena1 Год назад +1

      I’m not sure there can be a worse betrayal than what Alex did to Maggie and Paul

  • @vebarnid
    @vebarnid Год назад +2

    This analysis is all so informative. The last few minutes Dr. John talks about the intense anger and Alex states that on the stand in his own words about how the killer must have had so much hate in their heart for Paul and that he is certain this all stems from the boat crash … I agree with Alex that the murders do directly stem from the boat crash and how much that act by Paul started the unstoppable unraveling of the family myth. It was an unforgivable act by Paul.

  • @editordaniellemarie
    @editordaniellemarie Год назад +10

    Fantastic show! Helping me connect the dots and fill in gaps on this terrible and consuming trial.
    A note: including episodes of previous violence can’t be done in trial because it is considered “propensity evidence,” which is usually improper. The law prefers crimes to be proven with more concrete evidence like forensics or witnesses etc. Past offenses are definitely considered during sentencing but showing them to a jury tends to be so prejudicial that it biases them against the defendant and makes people who have committed a crime to very vulnerable to being convicted for any unsolved crime law enforcement cares to throw their way.
    Many are already outraged that all of the evidence about financial crimes, drug use, and staged suicide were allowed into the trial. I think the Judge interpreted the evidentiary rules fairly but I’m led to believe this has potential to be a potent appeal issue if Alec is found guilty.
    I think it is 110% true that previous acts of violence are the best indicators of future acts of violence, especially in domestic violence, but I understand why this kind of evidence is too prejudicial to bring to a jury.
    I have been wondering why there is no psychological profile of the kind of person who would commit this kind of murder presented by the prosecution. Such as in every episode of Law and Order back in the day 😁
    If Judge ordered pysch eval, I am super curious to know what the results of that were.
    Thank you again for 3 excellent timely episodes. 🙏🌻

    • @ileanahernandez1709
      @ileanahernandez1709 Год назад +1

      The judge let in other evidentiary information and now we know there's reason for an appeal. The prosecutor brought in all the evidence he had gathered for the financial trial and opened the door wide for an appeal. This is a trial within a trial.

    • @editordaniellemarie
      @editordaniellemarie Год назад

      @@ileanahernandez1709 I read the South Carolina evidentiary rules 403, 404a, and 404b and on its face, literally as written, I think the Judge was in bounds - and could have even allowed financial crimes as character evidence if the Prosecution requested it.
      Prior bad acts are allowed in SC to rebut a “good character” defense, which has definitely been used by defense. But Prosecution introduced it as motive evidence and Judge leaned toward “res justae” which is looping these acts in as transactions, events, and circumstances related to the case.
      Personally, I think the timeline is too tight to argue that these crimes were not in any way related to the murders - as there is literally action moving on them on the same day.
      I thought the details on Satterfield case or the staged suicide could have been excluded; these are more prejudicial and more arguably unrelated. Gloria’s son could have testified that he owed her a large sum of money and that called Alec that week to ask about it, but without saying why. But the drug use and brewing financial implosion I think are more clearly related.
      Acts of public violence dating back decades though would probably not be allowed for being too old and too unrelated. However I agree with Dr John that that’s the missing piece. More recent acts of domestic violence probably could’ve gotten in. But everybody has testified that they had a good marriage, despite the rumors that have shown up in documentaries. Not one person will come forward in court and said there were problems? I don’t know. Suspicious imo
      Getting back to the Judge applying evidentiary rules-, in addition to the literal language written in a statute, the way laws are applied in previous cases are supposed to inform on how judges rule on them.
      I did not research caselaw on this. It’s possible that this Judge is acting outside of the precedence on how these laws are usually applied.
      I agree with Dr. John that Creighton is showing the jury who this person is and letting them get a feel for him on the stand. They’re right next to him. They can sense his energy if they’re at all energetically sensitive.
      I had never seen him speak in real time. I’ve seen pictures and I’ve heard voice files. He looks scarier in action to me. The cold hard dark-eyed stare is something else. The media seems to only show pictures of him from the side or looking more like a chubby, cheerful, fat dude or distinguished looking older gent. On the stand though, in real time, a different picture definitely emerged.
      But without actual concrete evidence connecting the lies and the creepy vibes to the murders, I just don’t know if the State has proved double homicide beyond a reasonable doubt. It’s really frustrating because I’m sure the family had something to do with the lack of evidence being collected. And the jury does get to use their common sense. So maybe their common sense will tell them he’s guilty, and then see what the Appeals courts say.

    • @Candy-O1776
      @Candy-O1776 Год назад +1

      Family Annihilator

  • @galejohnson8086
    @galejohnson8086 Год назад +9

    “What is your question, Mr Waters?” He had asked the same question many times, he refuses an answer then asks, “What was your question.” Like I have said before, getting an answer out of Alex is like getting a grip on jello!

  • @nancyzichterman2374
    @nancyzichterman2374 Год назад +12

    the only smile I was on Alex's face was when Buster was testifying, He had delight on his face.

  • @janeb2188
    @janeb2188 Год назад

    We love listening to the 2 of you. Esp my Mom.
    Dr. John 's wife is nice and always loving and helping Dr. John getting thru the tough questions and getting the much needed info to him,. Very thought provoking and interesting in terms of the trauma and pains in the AM family going back for 100 years. Good show.
    Thank You,

  • @ninarosko
    @ninarosko Год назад +3

    LISTENING TO DR. BABE IS FASCINATING. THE HUMAN MIND IS SUCH A PUZZLER. THE CHALLENGE OF COMPLETING A PUZZLE, TO ME - IS LIKE NO OTHER. DR. BABE + [LAUREN🥰] PROVIDING US HUGE SEQUENCES OF THE BIGGER PICTURE. I LOVE YOU GUYS! ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTHFULNESS AT THE ROOT OF IT ALL. YOU GUYS NEED A RUclips OSCAR. 😂🥰

  • @deblarosa1703
    @deblarosa1703 Год назад +5

    Yes! Really appreciate the psychological input to give some degree of "sense" to something AND someone SO deplorable.
    I think many, like myself have many, many "WHYS" .....and we appreciate trained Dr. John's input. Wish the best to both of you; Thank You!!!

  • @janeenwitmer
    @janeenwitmer Год назад +9

    There was a "slip" in Alex's testimony when he told water "Maggie asked him to leave" he corrected very quickly. I think there was a lot going on that night

  • @karenlemire5159
    @karenlemire5159 Год назад +2

    Thank you both so much for your hard work and also to all the people behind the scenes who assist you. We as an audience are very lucky to have this great opportunity to listen and learn. Appreciate it and all you do.

  • @jjhenry9064
    @jjhenry9064 Год назад +9

    Apology with humility is an amends. Apology without humility is condescending/meaningless.

  • @rockindockinssc5625
    @rockindockinssc5625 Год назад +1

    Describing the family dynamics if very eye opening. The way you communicate this makes it so easy to understand.

  • @maureencaissy6075
    @maureencaissy6075 Год назад +22

    Thanks again. Great show. Some lawyers felt that more should have been done to expose AM’s rage. He definitely seemed to be on the brink of exposing that a few times. It’s too bad they didn’t call a psychologist to explain AM’s mental state, addiction etc. Thank you.

    • @dfinite1111
      @dfinite1111 Год назад +5

      I think that is why Waters was going at him so heavy on Friday, he was trying to get him to crack in anger. But Alex also knew that most likely, and was not taking the bait.

    • @hoolydooly5799
      @hoolydooly5799 Год назад +3

      Actually Alex had a reputation of being a good dad, no anger issues with family on record HE IS THE OPPOSITE 0f the old 'Street angel, home Devil" type which goes home and takes out frustrations on the family. Family was his rock.

    • @dfinite1111
      @dfinite1111 Год назад +9

      @@hoolydooly5799 Yeah, but Maggie and Paul were shot dead.

    • @hoolydooly5799
      @hoolydooly5799 Год назад

      @@dfinite1111 Hi, thanks for the reply. But WHO shot is the question. Don't get me wrong Alex is a total bastard what he has done to people. Deserves to spend the remaining term of his natural life behind bars, uncomfortably. I do not trust him fully, but nor do I trust the prosecutor's evidence and interpretation of what those facts tell us.
      Alex had dodgy dealings into drug business, off his scone on the stuff making his recollection patchy. Add various evidence indicate 2 shooters most likely probable, I mean two different guns? Then Maggie's mobile phone doing a jig no where near Alex's mobile phone. The SLED and other agencies have performed poorly, when so much is circumstantial. There is just so much that is flaky. I cannot see GBARD at this juncture. I see the itchin' for a lynchin' all over the net, though. cheers.

    • @mandywatson.
      @mandywatson. Год назад +1

      ​@@dfinite1111 And we have no idea who killed them. The state has done a great job of exposing AM's financial crimes, however they've failed to prove AM killed them

  • @misspatti3988
    @misspatti3988 Год назад +23

    Alec wants a federal white collar crime prison instead of being held in a high security prison from hell.

    • @DonnaLena1
      @DonnaLena1 Год назад

      The State tried Alex for murder (a state crime) before the financial crimes in order to have him first be a ward of S Carolina. Even after he’s convicted of 99 state level crimes, he will remain in the State prison. No cushy federal low security facility for Alex Murdaugh!

    • @mzkarmageddon2
      @mzkarmageddon2 Год назад +1

      I was always taught "it's good to want" doesn't mean I'm getting it

  • @scmommy4539
    @scmommy4539 Год назад +14

    You 2 are just so smart & help us understand the emotional & psychological issues of this case (& others) so much better! On a completely unrelated note lol I love that you all show "real life" w/parenting (needing to check on children while still working). I just love that! As a parent, that is "real life" & I can tell you both love your kiddo as much as my hubby & I love ours! Btw, Lauren you always look beautiful but, your hair looks particularly pretty tonight. I love seeing you call your hubby, " Dr. Babe!" That's the cutest! 💙 Hugs to you all!

    • @HiddenTrueCrime
      @HiddenTrueCrime  Год назад +2

      Thank you so much for understanding “real life” and for your kind compliments

  • @lisak5804
    @lisak5804 Год назад +3

    You two are like a breath of fresh air and your insights and perspective on such difficult confusing situations make things so much clearer and easier to understand 💜

  • @carlaperkins655
    @carlaperkins655 Год назад +67

    I would call it multi-generational sociopathic family culture. There's a lot of typical southern expectations... Hunting lodge, hunting dogs, speed boat, multiple properties, failed investments. You can't maintain such a lavish lifestyle with drug addiction eating up the lavish money. My thoughts keep going back to the possibility that Alex is furious with Maggie's threat to divorce him (when he's disgraced) and her panic as she knows he's gunning her down.

    • @russellanddeborahrichardso9213
      @russellanddeborahrichardso9213 Год назад +1

      So point on.

    • @susanedrington4878
      @susanedrington4878 Год назад +2

      She was not going to divorce him. Never in the trial. Probably People magazine. 😂. He did not kill his wife and son. Hung jury.

    • @susanedrington4878
      @susanedrington4878 Год назад

      I have been a paralegal for over 20 years.

    • @call.me.archie
      @call.me.archie Год назад +8

      ​@@susanedrington4878 that's awesome but that doesn't mean you know who is or isn't guilty. Even if he does have a hung jury, the truth is out there. I want to know how many other victims there are of Alex. Lots of dead bodies surround his family.

    • @mjmj5038
      @mjmj5038 Год назад

      I hope and pray that Maggie and Paul never SAW him

  • @mycatsnameiskaren8253
    @mycatsnameiskaren8253 5 месяцев назад

    The lives with Dr John are some of my favorite!!!! Thanks Dr John!!! ❤
    P.s. I've followed both of you through this entire thing. God bless you both for your dedication to this case. You've really exposed this like no one else could've done. Watching from Pensacola.

  • @CM-vl4wi
    @CM-vl4wi Год назад +4

    Dr John is exactly who I need to talk to about risk assessment. Someone, I know was told by their husband if they ever left him he would kill her and then himself. They said it was a joke! I told her she needs to leave because someone who says that will follow through.

  • @barbarabrewer7086
    @barbarabrewer7086 Год назад

    This 2 podcast analysis of the Murdaugh family's generational shame, power, and resulting catastrophes is fascinating. After following the Murdaugh case closely from 2021, I thought I understood the facts so well, that I didn't want or need to listen to more. I was wrong! Dr John's explanations of the effects of shame, reveal a resulting depth of anger and desperation to hold secrets so tightly, that once unthinkable repercussions become desirable. I urge followers not to miss this valuable assembly of Dr John's shared knowledge and expertise Thank you Lauren and John for the time and efforts that you expend to bring subscribers information beyond customary news and comments. Your Hidden channel is the most factually captivating of all true crime podcasts I have seen. Your compassion and expressions of kindness further endear you as caring, generous human beings. Thank you, sincerely, for being the blessings that you are.

  • @KyWoman410
    @KyWoman410 Год назад +10

    Pat Conroy. My favorite author. I hope you’ve also read The Death of Santini. Your concept is woven all the way through this book! Great stream.

    • @mardyross2838
      @mardyross2838 Год назад

      Catch the other comment here about that, it's fascinating....

  • @fearandloathing75
    @fearandloathing75 Год назад +1

    The verdict here will be a good indicator and a testament to the state of mental health in the our country.

  • @Pearlstrand
    @Pearlstrand Год назад +124

    I recognized Alex's emotions on the stand to be that of a narcissist attempting to generate the appropriate emotional performance to manipulate the jury. He is likely angry and frustrated at having to work so hard when manipulation has traditionally come so easily for him. It will be interesting to see if the jury buys it, or if they see him for the soulless individual that he is.

    • @sonyagraske376
      @sonyagraske376 Год назад +22

      🙏 pray the jury just sees the truth. Guilty 🙏

    • @missaries3960
      @missaries3960 Год назад +7

      @@sonyagraske376 🙏🏻

    • @judymurray191
      @judymurray191 Год назад +15

      I think he will be successful in manipulating one juror and that’s all he needs,sadly.

    • @missaries3960
      @missaries3960 Год назад +5

      @@judymurray191 Ugh, this freaking guy 🙄

    • @phyllisbarr4766
      @phyllisbarr4766 Год назад +2

      exactly

  • @Lee-rq9do
    @Lee-rq9do Год назад +1

    I have watched the entire trial so far and have followed this story since the boat crash and my question was always why? Thank you for explaining it so well. Now I have to reread the Prince of Tides. Thank you

  • @sunshinegal4294
    @sunshinegal4294 Год назад +41

    I agree about Paul’s alcoholism is due to a lot of pain and knowing he’s not favored and loved by his parents, but also I believe he could clearly see the dysfunction in his family and all that they were covering up. But what really hit me strongly when watching the Netflix documentary is his close bond and relationship he had with the house keeper, Gloria. She was like his mother. As Morgan said he only had a picture of her in his wallet and not one of his parents. I believe that’s where his biggest loss and trauma stems from. Plus these murders that took place with Stephen and Gloria and knowing there were coverups. Can you imagine holding all of that stiffed inside? But I do find it interesting that when Alex and Paul drink they become very mean and violent! They carry so many demons within.

    • @camillecloninger9660
      @camillecloninger9660 Год назад

      smh Your problem is watching a Netflix documentary. You know it's slanted. I'm trying to look at this case as a juror would, not watching any Netflix series or shows and listening to the facts. Sorry but the State just has not shown enough proof to convince me to vote guilty of murder. Financial crimes and lying, yes. Not murder. It would be a hung jury for sure.

    • @kirsikka1029
      @kirsikka1029 Год назад +1

      @kevinhornbuckle I don't believe Alex was at the house when Gloria had her accident? Buster was said to had had a relationship with Steven it was Paul & 2 other friends along with that I think took over Buster trying to he him get gas & weather the ment to or not the killed him with a baseball bat to head. As they were returning from a game.

    • @nevernever5063
      @nevernever5063 Год назад +1

      Paul may have had a suspicion that Alex and/or Maggie were involved in Gloria's "Accident".

    • @nevernever5063
      @nevernever5063 Год назад

      @@kirsikka1029 you mean like he wasn't at the kennels?

    • @Candy-O1776
      @Candy-O1776 Год назад

      Therefore, he became a loose cannon.

  • @courtMc
    @courtMc Год назад

    Thank you so much Dr. John!! I am actually learning so much about my OWN family dynamics while listening to you explain the Murdaugh tragedy- this is what is should be referred to IMO. I think you are the BEST at explaining this and not just bashing the Murdaugh family.

  • @michellelarson2961
    @michellelarson2961 Год назад +7

    I just love and appreciate you guys so much. You're the greatest stream ever!! Love you and your babe Lauren!!! It's 3:18 in the morning and just catching this stream now. Just getting in from work. Wouldn't miss you guys for the world. Sending you John both love!! 👍❤️

  • @brenmanock
    @brenmanock Год назад +4

    Great analysis. Thank you

  • @kittyroxs
    @kittyroxs Год назад +21

    I just recently discovered you guys and I love you so much. So unique and not just the same junk everyone else has already said and no boring fluff.

    • @mardyross2838
      @mardyross2838 Год назад

      Yes, today RUclips brought me a variety of channels covering The trial and one of the others was a woman who knew the case info well but said 'yo' about once every 5 sentences. No yo here! I subscribed. 😀

  • @thebiscuitrose
    @thebiscuitrose Год назад +2

    The Prince of Tides, got it. Thank you for having this particular professional on the podcast. Intriguing.

  • @sallyfrances6545
    @sallyfrances6545 Год назад +7

    Great podcast again! (Unfortunately can't watch live as asleep here in UK when it's on).
    Coming from a narcisstic family and also marrying into one (divorced now) I can understand how these people function! Unfortunately, I think some on the jury will not be able to accept that Alec (an apparently loving father) could do this.
    In my opinion he is definitely guilty - no moral compass, no empathy, no conscience and believes people are objects/disposable if really necessary.