You two are both incredible and Dr. Matthias' analysis and conceptualization is mind-blowing. I'm currently in my second year of my doctorate program studying clinical forensic psychology and when I'm not not in class, studying, writing reports, conducting research, or obtaining practicum hours, my guilty pleasure is binge watching and listening to this channel. During first semester, I took a Systems & Family Therapy course and learned all about enmeshed families and I have to say, you explained the concept of enmeshment 10x better than my professor did!! I hope one day I can be even half as knowledgeable as you, Dr. Matthias. I didn't forget about you, Lauren! I've watched your interviews over the years and have always been in awe with the questions that you ask. I'm still working on avoiding awkward pauses when I'm working with clients and sometimes I say, "channel Lauren Matthias" to build confidence lol. I have been a big fan of your journalism for many years and it's so inspiring to watch!
This is an incredibly kind comment. Your thoughtfulness humility and observational nature will take you far. We are excited, Laurel, to see where you land. Keep us updated!
@Deanna He lied Kennel video proof positive he murdered his family. He will always be known for the narcissist psychotic evil incarnate monster as well his nefarious crimes against paraplegic and children stealing God only knows what other crimes though more shall be revealed in God's time.
It's not mine blowing it's actually quite an accurate. If you listen to the historian in Waterboro who talks about the family she says they had money when they develop phosphate fuel a lost it all. Buster the original buster was even on a school scholarship. These are just cold-hearted sick people
@@HiddenTrueCrime Is it possible that Paul took his pills and that is why he, apparently, searched Paul's pockets immediately upon shooting Paul and Maggie? Not as he said he did upon his return from his mother's. Also, could he have searched the house for his pills during those excessive steps while "getting ready to go" to his mother's? Just thinking his stressed withdrawal that evening -possibly after some disagreement with them at dinner about his drug issues -was the immediate motive for the shootings. Thanks.
@@gretagroce9072 I think it's possible. However he said on the stand, "Whoever did this thought about it for a long time and had hate in his heart. The fact that he lured both Paul and Maggie to the property that night tells me he was planning it, if indeed he did it as the jury found him guilty of doing. Maggie told Marion that she'd prefer to meet Alec at his mothers rather then at Moselle, but he convinced her to come, if I understood correctly.
Dr. John is so humble and doesn’t give himself enough credit for the educated perspective he brings to these cases. I’m glad Lauren chimes in to give him credit where credit is due.
I think Judge Newman hit the nail on the head when he said to Alex during sentencing that maybe he didn’t do it, but the monster he becomes when he takes drugs. Alex seemed to (subconsciously at least) agree with that. The way Alex kept repeating “I would never hurt Paul or Maggie” made me think that he was separating himself from “that person” who did this.
He said, "I would never intentionally hurt Maggie and Paul." But, you are right. That word "intentionally" is what made me realize that he was separating himself from what he did.
I think judge Newman is very wily. Compare the Chris Watts case where he confessed only when the detective reassured him that he was essentially a good guy but… and CW still thinks he should be judged not for killing his family but for his outward character before and after the murders. Alex M was being offered an ‘out’ by JN whereby ‘opioid AM’ alter ego was responsible. After appeals have been exhausted, I predict AM will eventually (semi) admit his guilt and blame ‘opioid AM’.
Your description of members of the Murdaugh family arriving at the scene of the boat crash, getting through the police lines, and probably attempting to make it appear that Paul wan’t involved, is, I think, exactly why Alex called his friends and family members to come to the crime scene at the kennels. It wasn’t to support Alex, but, in the dark of night, to mess up the crime scene and muddy up tire tracks, and do what they could to deflect responsibility from the family.
Alex’s brother (the attorney) spoke out finally and said Alex knows more. I’m sure y’all saw the news. So glad I found this channel. Thank you for shining light on the unspeakable and connecting the dots to help us begin to comprehend the role that enmeshment and shame played in these murders. It was clear to me that Alex was incapable of facing shame or feeling empathy after seeing him on the stand. You helped me understand the power of the family myth and more about the family system. Cautionary tale indeed. Thank you again. I’ve listened to this multiple times. Great work!!
I also heard that the brother Randy hasn’t spoken to Alex in about a year. It also seems to me that Alex wants to talk to John Marvin’s wife more than John Marvin. She sounds a lil too flirty for a sister in law. I guess she’s the one that’s in charge of sending him money so that’s why he sounds a lil flirty too bc he’s schmoozing her to do his bidding. I’ve listened to every jail house phone call and it’s mind boggling to me that Alex keeps heckling Buster to get back in the same law school that kicked him out for plagiarism. It’s insane! Tell me who would hire Buster to be their attorney after all this? I don’t believe anyone would hire him unless it was just someone that had been living under a rock and wasn’t aware of this horrible family who truly believed and still believes that they are entitled, above the law and better than the rest of us peasants. Also I’m not convinced Alex’s opioid addiction was as bad as he claims it was. He clearly said he would take 100 30mg. OxyContin pills in one day. He would have died if he took even half that amount so I think he was using that as an excuse for all the lies which were many that he got called out for. He wouldn’t be able to function or take good care of himself or his hygiene. He’d be wrecking and passing out asleep all the time. He would miss meetings and court dates and wouldn’t have the wits about him to keep up with all these victims and remember what he told them. I think he was involved with some type of illegal money laundering scheme and possibly running drugs more than he was taking them himself. Maybe involved in some prostitution crap or something like that. I wonder if he has buried money on that property since he was always out there working on food plots, scouting for deer, hunting deer, turkey, hogs, quail and dove. It was quite a bit of acreage and a place where people wouldn’t be trespassing on that land bc people would be too scared to get caught on a Murdaugh’s property. There are millions unaccounted for so he either has it hidden somewhere or he’s had to pay people off so they won’t expose him for the waste of human skin that he is. It is bothersome to me that Buster could even want to speak to his sorry father for blowing the brains out of his brother and mothers heads. I don’t understand that unless Buster is just standing by him bc he thinks there’s still perks that his father has but I think bc that’s come to an end. Buster should cut ties, settle down and marry a nice down to earth girl and have some babies and start a whole new Murdaugh bloodline that is made up of decent, law abiding people who are humble and not greedy and think they are superior beings.
This is really good stuff. I come from psychology and law background, and it’s always the motives behind horrible acts like this that are so fascinating to me. Also, I must credit Dr John for coming up with believable theories that he backs up with science, art and fact. FYI, if you haven’t heard, Randy actually admitted to the media that he thinks Alex definitely knows more about the murders than he is saying. He qualified that somewhat by saying it’s hard to wrap around his mind that Alex could commit the murders himself since he was by all appearances a loving and caring father. I was very surprised to hear him say as much as he did, but I thought I would throw this in there bc Randy may have said that after you all did this video. Either way, from what I understand in many if not most cases of familicide by the patriarch, the perp comes across as or can truly be loving and caring up to that certain point when they murder family members. Thank for this!! DH
Found your channel because of Murdaugh. There's so many channels covering the case but the uniqueness in your insight and analyses separates you from the rest. You're both highly appreciated. ❤️
Dr. John, your analysis is so deep. But it’s the deep dark invisible stuff that often run our lives and most of us are totally unaware of it. I’m loving this. Thank you.
A scapegoat of a malignant narcissist mother backed by a large extended family, I could not break away despite terrible psychologoical/emotional abuse until I learned of narcissism at 54 only after her reaction at my near deathbed. Ostracism from one's family is fundamentally terrifying like being thrown out of the pack to strave, die and be preyed upon. So hard, forever painful, heartbreaking and lonely.
Are we related somehow? I'm 69yo and I was around 9yo when my mother explained to me that some children are only supposed to come to the earth for a short time. She said if those children stayed too long, they would cause terrible hardships for the rest of the family. She said I was one of those kids and the best thing to do was run out and get hit by a car. Everything would be fine, and I'd be an angel in heaven. Needless to say, I didn't do it. I continued to be the 💩 target for the whole family until I was 37yo. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.
Sometimes it's a blessing! Being around toxic people who talk worse about you than an enemy is not needed in my life. Our hospital killed my brother and the middle brother thinks he's the head of the family now and he's nothing but a pathological liar that never has a good word to say about anyone. I'm better off without those kinds of people, family or not.
if anyone in this thread, or op, is tired of carrying on the madness, Eckhart Tolle, his YT videos, & books have helped me to understand that healing, accepting our lot in life, as much as we can, is possible, & can be practical & practice-able, i encourage anyone /everyone to check him out.
Finally got to finish watching. I watched the whole trial and couldn't wrap my mind around Alex pulling the trigger. Dr. John is the only one that made sense to me getting to motive. It's so outside the box of normal person's thinking but it makes sense to me now. Thought it was interesting when Alex focused on "clearing Paul's name" instead of finding the murderers. He prevented Paul from going to trial and getting convicted so he accomplished that. Love your take,references to Poe really applies. New to your channel. Look forward to following
When he said to Maggies sister that "someone thought about this for a long time" gave me goose bumps. That was all I needed to hear to prove him guilty!
Having followed this case through other channels, I felt there was a missing intellectual vector, which as a psychologist I was searching for. I have now found what I was searching for in the assiduous content in your channel. Absolutely brilliant !
I agree this channel brings insight and psychological analysis not found elsewhere. Surviving the Survivor channel also has some good analysis by a profiler who says the rage and brutality of manner of death speaks to more underlying issues.
100% correct my late ex-husband came from such a family where my ex mother-in-law said one for all and all for one and it was devastating. The entire family was broken to the point where two of her sons are dead. Her daughter has cancer and the remaining son an alcoholic so this is a fabulous podcast that you’re bringing right now!
I love learning so much from you two. It doesn't matter that your background is plain. The content is so excellent..that's why we are here! Thanks for all you do
YOU GUYS LITERALLY BLOW MY MIND... thank you so much. This is an incredible platform. It's EXACTLY the piece of the puzzle I've been missing to tie up all the loose ends with all my studies so far, across a wide range of experiences and topics... It's brought everything together. Just wow. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE... 😱😱😱☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ Ive shared your channel far and wide. Love from Ireland.
I just found you guys and I'm learning so much. One thing I noticed is that Alex, Buster and John Marvin sounded rehearsed when talking about how loving and close the family was/is. When listening to the jail calls, it feels a lot cooler coming from Buster and John. Like you say, the family shame and public image are priority number 1.
Definitely interesting- what a crazy story. When I first saw it- come across the news, immediately- I knew that there was so much more to this story. Thanks for such in depth- not hysterical or inflammatory reporting on this case. It’s so refreshing. Poor Maggie and Paul- let us never forget them.
The collective narcissism, entitlement , recklessness , and disregard for others in this Murdaugh family is frightening. Thank you for this video, I learned a lot!!
Collective for sure. The entire family reminds me of the criminal gang families, syndicates or corrupt corporations. Violence, opportunism and expediency, risk-taking, hierarchies and protecting own interest over everything. Paul and Maggie were victims just like many before them, Mallory Beach, Gloria Satterfield. The tone of the Satterfield 911 call, despite 25 years of Gloria being ' family' and the ruthlessness over Mallory's death as exposed by comments from Paul and Maggie the night of the crash just show that cold, self-protective prioritising was not limited to Alec.
I think the fact that the judge removed the family portrait from the courtroom opened the curtain on the family shame and was an attempt at leveling the playing field.
@@SCONDORA22 Alex Murdaugh was from Hampton County. He lived and worked there. The trial was held in Colleton County which is a change in venue. Colleton County is made up of several small rural towns like Ha,phone County. Rural counties are close in proximity.
This is the best content I've seen on the Murdaugh case. It's actually about how this could happen and why Alec's family covers for him. I just saw you're a husband and wife team. ♥️
My friend lives near them. She said Maggie, Paul , Buster were not liked in their town much at alll. Maggie was a very entitled human with terrible kids she didn’t make mind or behave. It wasn’t just Paul being a trouble maker. Buster , and Maggie were trouble makers in their own.
Her nail technician in Hampton spoke well of her. Said she always smiled and adored her 2 boys and the beach house. I heard people only began shunning her after the boat accident which is why she stayed at beach house more. She and Alex both had poor parenting skills.
Amongst all the things that Alex said while giving statements and testifying he said I " got myself wed to that" when he was talking about something and I thought of MAGGIE. Like he got himself yoked to a hot mess. YES SHE RAISED A COUPLE OF BRATS YES SHE didn't bring any money into the house. As she tried to enforce her will on Alex beta statement I don't like to be shamed. I think she encouraged Paul to try to shame him as well. In any case the whole family is a mess generation after generation
@@2Ryled The operator didn't tell her that help was on the way right away and this frustrated Maggie. That's what I heard.That she wanted help to come urgently and answering the operator's questions seemed to be wasting time to her. Paul sounded calm but some people are calm in an emergency. Apparently P was v close to Gloria. She'd been with him all his life.
I think folks have overlooked a more convincing motive for murdering Maggie. She was about to find out about the financial crimes. This on top of the long-term drug issue and probably other marital misdeeds. I've been an attorney for 40 years. I would have immediately advised "Maggs" to file for divorce to protect her share of the marital estate before the victims started to collect their restitution. Alec also would have needed to buy time to liquidate assets he almost certainly had hidden and that he needed to keep his embezzlement hidden.
Interesting perspective...I wondered what possible justification there could be for an otherwise successful man to murder his son, and his wife, in that manner, and be able to live with himself later...I was astonished and just plain stumped. What a case! 🎉
My ex husband’s parents died 2016/2017 & still no headstones. As I watched AM I realized I was married to someone exactly like him. I was like all the business partners who couldn’t wrap their mind around it all. The trauma of learning how my whole marriage was smoke & mirrors has been horrible. The missing headstone helps me know it was a blessing I got out.
@@mrsmartypants_1 I follow ex husband's families no headstones and other victims of his that no longer have a voice ° my therapist claims it's normal under the circumstances of being one of many of their victims cuz I too could be one more without a voice
@@merry8545 Your therapist would be smart to tell you to move on and stop regurgitating the past endlessly and stop shadowing those who did you wrong. Many therapists are more screwed up than their patients. There is also strong motivation from disingenuous therapists to keep you dependent on them as long as possible to keep the money flowing in.
When Alex said "I did him so bad" I actually believe he didn't mean to shoot him in the head on the second shot. I believe he wanted to kill him but not blow his brains out. The graphic nature of the crime scene is where his emotion originated from. Not the act of murdering his wife and son.
I felt that too Brenda. The spokesperson for the jury as seen on TV said he never saw any tears. I did see tears at times during the trial. At times Alex looked incredibly distressed upon having to listen to details of the crime. I felt he was deeply affected by what he had done.
Paul WAS driving the boat...and there are witnesses! All the kids were drinking, but PAUL (aka "Timmy) was drunk out of his MIND...had to be strapped to a gurney to control him in the hospital. For the rest of the family to DENY that Paul was driving is PATHETIC! He needed to pay for his crime, but not by being murdered by his own father.
Since they shared the driving and had conflicting statements right after the wreck I’m not sure he was driving but irregardless they are all as responsible as whomever was driving. They willing got on a boat with a known drunk driver and they were all adults. When they stopped for drinks they had another chance to call a sober driver or Uber. If they hit someone on another boat then whomever was driving would be liable. Why should a parent be sued for what their grown child did. That’s why they went civil because everybody on that boat was adults and no one was more guilty than the others.
@BlackCoffee The two guys were sitting in the drivers seat sharing the driving of the boat. The kids statements right after the accident were conflicting some saying the other one was driving some saying Paul was driving. They were all drinking they all are just as guilty as the one driving. They should not have gotten on the boat, they were all adults. They took their lives into their own hands and they each are just as responsible as whomever was driving. None of them are innocent of blame. I’m not responsible for what my grown adult son does.
The Netflix documentary included the results of Kinsley's investigation, and the accident investigator he hired said only Paul could have been driving when the boat hit then piling.
@@lifesquandered although I agree he was prolly driving. A Netflix series isn’t exactly the pillar of the evidence. Right in the middle of the trial. Talk about forces. The media and Hellywood are spinners of the truth and maybe you’ll learn that one day.
I live here in the Lowcountry of SC. am close friends with Cousins of the Murdaugh’s. There is a section of Ruffin, SC. where MANY Murdaugh’s live in a compound & now ALL want to change their family name !! Intertwined is an understatement !! Even the distant Cousins are !! These Southern towns in the country are TINY & VERY tight knit. Buster will have to move off Hilton Head. He & his gf are being harassed by the National press & are being followed wherever they go. Buster called the Sheriff’s Dept. last weekend. With that Red hair, he’ll be taunted wherever he goes in the state !! In the meantime, their hood is being closely watched by law enforcement. Good luck Buster & Brooklyn !!
I only discovered your excellent work just now. I have always believed that the motive for Alex’s heinous actions was shame and an attempt to save the family from the incredible can of worms being opened. They all held Paul and Maggie responsible for everything that happened since it all went wrong with the boat accident. I imagine they blame Paul for being a spoilt, rude and horrible child that brought negative scrutiny to the family. He seems to have been doing this quite often. They blamed Maggie for being the one that spoilt and indulged him as I imagine she was the primary parent since dad was the busy earner and wouldn't be deeply involved in rearing him. They were dispensable, and getting rid of them would solve problems emerging from the can of worms Paul opened. They could sort out the Alex thievery and deceptions later. I have shared, subscribed, and bought the book you recommended, and I look forward to exploring your work and those to come. Respect from 🇬🇧
I love that the two of you are picking up on the part of the story many have missed. It makes sense with Dr. John's background. I've loved the Murdaugh Podcasts since the beginning. They have covered the case so well, exposing many of the background stories. I think the key is Buster will testify for his dad, since his dad may have been covering up for him in the murder of Stephen Smith. They actually say the Murdaugh boys may have been involved. Everyone is scratching everyone else's back and unless they keep playing, their parts get exposed. Like John Marvin being named the executor of the will for Maggie instead of her sister Marion whom she had named in the will. I mean if Alec gives up his rights and John Marvin steps up, does that keep money from being available for the victims of the boat crash?
Very interesting hearing about the dynamics of enmeshed families, particularly that leaving is seen as a betrayal. A former gf of mind had such a family and it was fascinating witnessing the techniques the parents used to keep the children - all adults - under their control. With her family, I thought they largely wanted the kids around to distract from their shitty marriage. If they’d been left too much with just each other, I believe they’d have eventually divorced. I see now that from the time enmeshed family kids are born they’re treated primarily as a member of that family, not as an individual. I saw a video that discussed Maggie and it’s reported she brought her sons up as “You’re a Murdaugh. Never forget you’re a Murdaugh.”
So glad to have found your channel, this is great content! On the "They/I did them so bad" comment by Alex - have been relistening to clips of the trial and during the cross examination of Alex, Waters is questioning him about his ability to steal money from his clients and how he could "sit them down and look them in the eye" and convince them he was doing the right thing by them. Alex tries to frustrate Waters by arguing the specific phrasing/context of Water's questions, saying he never 'sat them down'. After much back and forth of Waters trying to get him to recall just 1 conversation with a client he defrauded, Alex says "One of the saddest parts of this whole thing is, you know, they're people that I still care about and I IDID THEM this way". This was a phrase that he commonly used. I agree with you both, he said "I did them so bad".
I felt like Alex also revealed the “why, who when” type thing while he was just rambling talking to police and on the stand. I’ve been married to three narcissists and I was able to spot his lies from the get go on the videos with the cops. So many telling things. That said, I believe he made several confessions: 1. He immediately blamed it on the boat accident. He tried to blame someone angry at him but really it was Alex angry at Paul. So he’s saying that he killed Paul Becasue of the boat accident and I feel it was because it was toppling the dynasty that was already sitting on the fence ready to topple over. 2. He said “the murderer had planned it for a long time”. He said that Because HE planned it out and that’s why the timing of things were so tight and fairly clean because it was all planned out neat and tidy as he could make it. 3. He also said whoever did this had a deep anger for Paul. Well again as referenced above - Alex had a deep anger to Paul for the boat accident and as you said, he was willing to sacrifice Paul for the family good. 4. Another curious point which I felt surprised the prosecutor didn’t press him on was why the dogs never barked. You got all these dogs and if strangers are coming up why didn’t the dogs bark and why didn’t Alex hear them and Alex clearly said “Because there was no one else there.” I believe these are some keys admission he made here. Liars lie but they also tell the truth when they “think” they are lying. Liars always tell you who they really are. We either listen and believe or we choose to brush it off. I think most people had money to gain by Alex and so they brushed off his suspicious behavior. I’m dumbfounded to think so many high level people were so ignorant to the obvious deeds he was doing. Then he got busted lying about his lie right there in front of the jury. That was a glorious moment - Alex knew exactly when they were killed - they were killed at the exact time he lied about what he was doing
I have a lot of experience with NPD and I picked up on the exact things you did. For somebody like us he was not a good liar. In addition to the examples you gave, he answered questions in a very manipulative way. He would repeat questions to buy time to lie and also to mock the prosecutor and make him look dumb. It didn't work. That prosecutor read him just like we do. The good thing about a narcissist is they think they are too good to get caught. They get cocky which gets them caught. He thought he could get away with murder. Then he thought he could testify even though everybody knows testifying is bad.
Interesting: #3. His "deep hatred for Paul. I think there's more to this and it probably relates to Paul acting out some kind of trauma, in his violence and his daily drinking. How could a child in a "loving family" be drinking like this all the time and no one intervenes. Not only do they not, but the provide alcohol for him and his friends, even as young teenagers. And on all this is the fact that somehow this kid had high blood pressure at 22. I'm not seeing a lot of love for him in this family. He seems adrift; completely on his own.
When I heard the prosecutor say shame was a powerful motivation for Alex Murdaugh. I said to my husband omg that's the theory from the Dr. on hidden true crime. I bet the prosecution team used that!! 👏🏾
Only at start of video, but I was glad to hear Dr. John thank you ☺️ today, Lauren! It drives me crazy when I hear you thank your husband, & he has no response. Glad to see the appreciation today!
There was a moment while John Marvin was on the stand and he said that trying to clean Paul's brains and blood was the worst thing that he has ever had to do..he glared at Alex and that glare was returned with an almost imperceptible nod...It was like john Marvin was letting Alex know that he knew the truth
From early on I suspected that Alex killed his son and wife! Your assessment is spot on! His son Buster has lost a mother, a brother and now a father. I hope that Buster has other family that will help him through this. Can you imagine how Buster felt sitting through this trial of his Dad hearing all this?
Oh that's so horrible there's no headstones on Maggie and Pauls graves. How sad I lost my Dad at 13 and a year went by, my mother made us think there was no money. I was working and I bought my Dad's headstone at 14. The whole family has money to have shown some respect for Maggie and Paul. Makes my heart hurt 💔
I’m so glad this came up on my feed! I’ve been wanting to hear the psychological aspects of this family’s dynamics. You just hit me over the head with the fact that no one was representing Paul and Maggie!! I feel like she has been a mere footnote in this horrible story. Thank you for taking this on and giving us valuable insight into this sick family dynasty.
Your theory re generational shame last week absolutely unlocked the whole case for me. Thank you! I am so grateful finding your channel, and appreciate the thoughtful, insightful, brilliant unpacking. And hard work, of course. Kind regards from South Africa. 🇿🇦
I happened upon your channel this evening. Very interesting discussion. Initially, I found all of the information around this case, not believable, but unfortunately, the stories are interwoven, and with so much corruption, worse than one could imagine. Thanks for your video!
Your a dynamic couple, & I thought very generous in the outset to acknowledge others that have reported. Your input was very appreciated & thought provoking, as well as educational. Another interesting show, Thankyou both, I always look forward to clicking on
I hope Maggie’s sister see this video. I know she figured it out that Alex killed her sister and nephew I’m sure it hurt her that the whole murdaugh family behind him when he was clearly lying the entire time. I pray for her and Maggie’s family healing. So so sad.
Why would she need to see THIS video. 🤭. His lawyer brother just put out a statement saying he believes his brother knows a lot more and he hasn’t talked to him in over a year. We know his one brother and son are trying to help him stay out of prison but we have no idea how they feel. None at all. There is loyalty and there’s believing him. This video is just another RUclipsr who likes to toot their own horn to feel important. 🤷🏼♀️
@@AMYV3 I was saying that because the mental part of it helps explain the background mind to why this kind of thing happens in a family unit to hide all shame and show solidarity of support even though randy knew he probably did it....he sat in the rows right behind Alex...so even tho randy knows, he still showed support for Alex. And Yes Randy said that but that doesn’t help to wrap your head around the dynamic of it all it just kinda helps you see and get it more...when you have some understanding of where it derives from...is all I meant by I hope she see it...
I really appreciate Dr. John's insight. While my family doesn't contain murderers, the history does include no small amount of shame, and the insights into family myths re shame are invaluable.
I was very interested in the “ Mesch” theory ( not sure if it’s correct). I was surprised to see how many times a day they would contact each other. The defense went through pages of phone calls and messages during one day. Even though Buster had moved away to University, he was still talking to his parents and brother many times a day. He also confirmed this was a typical day. It doesn’t give any room for independence or individual growth. The main role of parents is to provide space for personal development and then allow the adult child to live their own life, whilst still being supported in the family. This sounds more like a cult than a close family.
I agree! Children must pull away and lead their own lives and the constant interaction must fade so that they become independent young adults in order to develop normally. Alex and Maggie tragically failed as parents. Buster kicked out of law school for plagiarism and cheating? Paul with his horrific alcohol abuse and breaking the law, endangering himself and others. Alex felt entitled, was carelessly cruel to friends and colleagues ànd clients, and led a life built on lies.... So Sick . Maggie too must have felt entitled throughout their early family life and was realizing their "good times" lives were built on shifting sand. A Southern Gothic Tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.
Watching replay. I pray someone out there has the courage to turn over EVERY stone in regards to this family and bring it to an end once and for all! Imagine what we don’t know through many years
Cheers to Lauren, for all your consistent hard work to keep the channel hot. Y’all are great and I get excited to see there is another discussion/video up. Thank you both for showing up! 4:13
I see the murders of Paul & Maggie serving several purposes for Alex. By killing Maggie, he keeps her from experiencing the shame & humiliation of the downfall and by killing Paul, he not only put a stop to the boat case but additionally saved Paul from having to experience prison time. Somehow he was able to justify these actions in his own mind. I think the actual visualality of killing was the cause of the actual tears/emotion seen in Alex. Paul spoke from the grave with the video - great analogy from Poe!
Maggie jumped ship.. I feel she ran out of the will to prop up and cover for her husband.. I feel with Gloria she went with , but she decided it had to end with the fraud.. ? Possibly. ?
I agree. Maggie would be devastating to know their source of income was lost, their reputation, Alex serving time for fraud ect. Paul in prison. But it was recoverable. Maggie go live w her parents. Settle all outstanding debts, sell houses ect. Loose the prestigious reputation but be able start a new life.
There was the monster ego, in the downturn from a spectacle of his own fall from Grace, caught in the lies of stealing from friends & family, and a loss of his license to serve in his own GF's Law Firm, knowing that only the Insurance from such a catastrophe could save him. Killing both was probably only to prevent Paul from observing and reacting, since by calling Maggie to come home, it was just she that he intended to kill, but Paul tagged along.
Thank you so much for describing how the family themes in this crime echo those of The Fall of the House of Usher. So perfect. There is no one who draws our attention to great literature in the field of true crime like Dr John and I am immensely grateful for the privilege of listening to and learning from his deep knowledge and experience.
I agree John that Buster nor anyone else will ever admit publicly that Alec is guilty, but I do believe behind closed doors Randy and John Marvin talk openly and freely to each other and I do believe they know it’s all true. They are far to smart to deny it to themselves. Their love for their brother (blood is thicker than water) is the most important to them and they are going to protect him to others. This is one of the saddest cases I have ever seen.
I don't know bc on a jail phone call John Marvin was telling Alex to just confess all there is to confess. Get it out the abd pay the consequences. Alex was in custody for double murder not financial crimes.
@@amc2510 Right, but John Marvin telling Alex to confess to anything he's done, doesn't mean that John Marvin hadn't already formed his own opinion. In fact, it could be the exact reason he made that statement.
Thank you for this opportunity to view yiur amazing work. This Murdaugh "thing" is unbelievable. It's sadder than anything in a famiky I have heard in long while. Dr. JOHN thank you for your expertise on family shame. Amen..
Dr John I find your insights fascinating. So glad I found your channel. I love how you add literary readings and viewpoints too. Lauren does a fantastic job linking everything together. I gave you a like on my phone and now I am doing it on my iPad. Really appreciate learning from you guys and hope your channel goes from strength to strength.
I really wanted to send Creighton yout theory of shame last week, . My heart flipped when CW brought shame into his closing argument - for me, this nailed the cross for Creighton. Love your channel guys- watching from Ireland
Thank you so much for including some literature in your live broadcast. I also see the falling of the house being the end of the disturbed family system. The Murdaugh family will only be buried alive as they breathe if they don't become more authentic. What an unfortunate family.
It was. What was most telling was, as far as I could see, he didn't use the term in the car immediately after 'finding'' Paul dead, he called him Paul. Yet in court, for the Jury, he switched to baby names of Paul-Paul
I have been following Emily D baker’s legal commentary on this case and it is interesting to hear your perspective as it gives a psychological deep dive, whereas Emily does a legal deep dive, these two perspectives together are both needed to fully understand this case, I appreciate your insights thank you for explaining it so well
Sadly- they are both eye openers. A) we will never have the resources for lesser crimes - judge Newman said in SC lesser criminals were sentenced to death. B) emotional closure to the mind f*ck of how humans choose greed and reputation over human life.
The irony is just how strong depressed people actually are, navigating the world from a deficit to perform tasks that are are taken for granted by most.
In many ways Paul was the "spare' in Alex's eyes, Buster was primed to take over from Alex. Paul was the family scapegoat, as compared to Buster the Golden child. Even the fact that Paul physically resembled Maggie more than Alex, would have been a narcissistic injury to a man like Alex.
Thanks to both of you and the amazing work you're sharing with the world. Your professional insight is so valuable. As an RN, I am grateful for your contributions in a world of insanity. The light you each shine on these events is incredible. So truly, thank you!
Thank you. We couldn’t have done our in-depth research without the hard work of so many! We always try to acknowledge the numerous independent creators, podcasters, authors, and commenters who provide so much.
@@HiddenTrueCrime You are helping to get the news out there. Wherever we get information we need to spread the news because still a lot of people don't know about the huge amount of facts regarding this case. For instance Murdaughs murders podcast. So thanks for acknowledging and getting the news out there.
It would be a very interesting part 3 on shame to talk about shaming inside the family actually being used as the means to create these enmeshed families. I have seen a family of very high reputation in a community actually subconsciously gang up and shame a member who veered in the slightest into submission. It was bizarre to witness. Now I see what they were doing, internal shaming to prevent external shaming.
Same thing. Friend of mine was disowned for years because she didn’t support fathers false story of accident. He killed multiple illegal workers on his farm driving drunk. There were so many horrific things in that case but l can say he did no time.
A brilliant episode as always. Thank you for your understanding of this case. I wasn’t able to watch live but watched today, Sunday. I, too, struggled to escape from an enmeshed family, as have many.
Please no neon lights behind you we love not to get distracted when we listen to your interesting awesome video’s! 😍👌🏼 Especially talking about family dynamics, you guys really seem to understand how wicked our world is nowadays! Coming from a disengaged family, hearing you explain these things, I immediately freeze and listen to what you are telling us about it!!! So many things I never understood in my childhood, I remember that I often felt very confused without a specific reason for it! I slowly start to learn about these feelings! It took me a while before I got myself in the proces of acknowledging my family dynamics! Very traumatized I always pushed the pain away from me! What I know now but didn’t then, finally begin to make sense and through my proces I learn and try to accept the things for what they are! I had to give up my dreams and believes relating to what I always thought of how family/bonds worked! How to live in peace and harmony with eachother, learn from eachother etc etc! u Unfortunately my family is not capable to feel those things, they are cold and miss emphatic skills to put themselves in other people’s shoes! With them not even willing to try got me so frustrated and very sad a lot of times, but these experiences for me were needed to come to some conclusions and when I reached that point everything fell in to place! I’m still figuring it out, it’s a long proces but I am ready to take it all! In the end I don’t wanna feel any regrets because regret let you do things you don’t wanna do! As a HSP born in a non loving family I think confusion and emotions can be somewhat higher than non HSP people normally experience! It was a lot, it is a lot, but I am at peace now and that is GOLD! Thank God I have my own family, 2 beautiful daughters and 2 beautiful grandchildren who light up my live, loving me for me, argue with me, challenging me etc! They are my happiness and my dreams of the past don’t matter anymore! As long as I have them, I’ll be ok! Thank you both for all you learn us! Even without neon lights in the background! I think you don’t need them! We listen/watch anyway! 💯♥️ Watching From the Netherlands 🇳🇱 Looking forward to the next one! ✌🏼😘
Absolutely!!! It’s worth everything! ❤ And thank you both, we all love the little life lessons coming through your video’s and podcast! I’m about to start with the Daybell family video’s now Murdaugh is convicted! I think I’m gonna find some of my own truths in these video’s, relating to family dynamics ofcourse! We do not ‘finish’ people in my family haha 🤪😋
Very enlightening analysis that answered a lot of questions I had that haven't been addressed adequately elsewhere. No worries about "office decorations," and you'll grow and develop with time.
@@HiddenTrueCrime you're most welcome. Although the prosecution didn't have to prove motive according to SC criminal law (just malice) the motive remained a mystery to me until I saw your analysis on the subject. The Solicitor's Office official version that Murdaugh killed his wife and son to delay the 10-Jul-2021 hearing and as a distraction from his financial crimes left me unsatisfied because it seemed to "shallow" for me. This is a pretty drastic way to draw attention away from both the pending hearning and frauds. I understand the broad differences between enmeshed family systems and disegaged family systems. I presume we are speaking of a spectrum, like autism. This makes sense to me though, I must admit, killing 2 members of one's closest family is a very extreme "solution" to the accumulating problems that Murdaugh was facing.
At first when I started following you I thought it would be another Murdaugh murders chitchat videos but you are so much more! Thank you for the insights and mindful conversations
I absolutely love this psychological analysis. I was shocked the psychology of this case wasn’t expounded upon during the trial. The entire trial was a psychological feast for even the elementaly trained eye. I am loving this! I must add that once the audio was slowed down, what I thought I heard as, “I really did him bad.” changed to “They really did him bad.” But either way, I see Alex as the perpetrator.
I would think if the psychological factors in this case would have excused Alex, possible even a claim “not of sound mind”, he then wouldnt have stood trial
I just found your channel and I think it's brilliant 👍 great insight and information. I always thought there is more to this family than just what I seen in the court room but couldn't put my finger on it but I knew there was More and you two nailed it to what I was looking for👍
Came across you by accident. Great find, great work. Been following this case from the UK and found out so much interesting stuff I’ve never heard before.
I’ve donned this family the #crackerbarrelsopranos , I can see the parallel in mob families, the psychopathy of compounded corruption, greed, winning at all costs, I tell many of my clients about your channel you help the lay person understand the why to such unimaginable tragedies, they are preventable, I wish Paul & Alex too could’ve gotten therapy before this imploded, so sad for humanity. A lot of us are grateful for good folks after seeing this play out, proud of that SC jury too for ending the dysfunction. Great judge as well.
Thank you both for all your explanations and compassion for the victims. So many interesting facts, the money spent on life style, when so many so many he stole from had financial difficulties. Also interesting that the M family had staff to do so many jobs for them ,cleaning ,shopping and cooking but the uncle said he felt the need to clean up the crime scene and not hire a professional company? I think Paul was effected by Gloria's death.
I just want to thank you both...I couldn't understand this case...after watching this...I feel I understand it better...for the first time in weeks ..I can let this go. Thank you... This conversation was very helpful. You are a wonderful couple.
Outstanding. I learned a lot tonight. Makeup for the gentleman, which I know he will resist, will take away the shine on his face that distracts from the insightful analysis he offers with brilliant clarity. Keep up the great work!
@@HiddenTrueCrime Lauren, your good spouse Dr. John is an exceptionally expressive communicator, translating esoteric psychological information into terms immediately comprehensible by the average viewer like yours truly. I believe his effectiveness would be enhanced if viewers were not being distracted by the shiny face. I know it’s a pain in the neck to put on makeup and it rubs the male self-image in the wrong but I think Dr. John is astute enough to see that both he and his audience would benefit from accepting the standard conditions uthat apply to being before a camera as a professional. Keep up the great work!
You two are both incredible and Dr. Matthias' analysis and conceptualization is mind-blowing. I'm currently in my second year of my doctorate program studying clinical forensic psychology and when I'm not not in class, studying, writing reports, conducting research, or obtaining practicum hours, my guilty pleasure is binge watching and listening to this channel. During first semester, I took a Systems & Family Therapy course and learned all about enmeshed families and I have to say, you explained the concept of enmeshment 10x better than my professor did!! I hope one day I can be even half as knowledgeable as you, Dr. Matthias.
I didn't forget about you, Lauren! I've watched your interviews over the years and have always been in awe with the questions that you ask. I'm still working on avoiding awkward pauses when I'm working with clients and sometimes I say, "channel Lauren Matthias" to build confidence lol. I have been a big fan of your journalism for many years and it's so inspiring to watch!
This is an incredibly kind comment. Your thoughtfulness humility and observational nature will take you far. We are excited, Laurel, to see where you land. Keep us updated!
@Deanna He lied Kennel video proof positive he murdered his family. He will always be known for the narcissist psychotic evil incarnate monster as well his nefarious crimes against paraplegic and children stealing God only knows what other crimes though more shall be revealed in God's time.
It's not mine blowing it's actually quite an accurate. If you listen to the historian in Waterboro who talks about the family she says they had money when they develop phosphate fuel a lost it all. Buster the original buster was even on a school scholarship. These are just cold-hearted sick people
@@HiddenTrueCrime
Is it possible that Paul took his pills and that is why he, apparently, searched Paul's pockets immediately upon shooting Paul and Maggie? Not as he said he did upon his return from his mother's. Also, could he have searched the house for his pills during those excessive steps while "getting ready to go" to his mother's? Just thinking his stressed withdrawal that evening -possibly after some disagreement with them at dinner about his drug issues -was the immediate motive for the shootings. Thanks.
@@gretagroce9072 I think it's possible. However he said on the stand, "Whoever did this thought about it for a long time and had hate in his heart. The fact that he lured both Paul and Maggie to the property that night tells me he was planning it, if indeed he did it as the jury found him guilty of doing. Maggie told Marion that she'd prefer to meet Alec at his mothers rather then at Moselle, but he convinced her to come, if I understood correctly.
Dr. John is so humble and doesn’t give himself enough credit for the educated perspective he brings to these cases. I’m glad Lauren chimes in to give him credit where credit is due.
I think Judge Newman hit the nail on the head when he said to Alex during sentencing that maybe he didn’t do it, but the monster he becomes when he takes drugs. Alex seemed to (subconsciously at least) agree with that. The way Alex kept repeating “I would never hurt Paul or Maggie” made me think that he was separating himself from “that person” who did this.
He said, "I would never intentionally hurt Maggie and Paul." But, you are right. That word "intentionally" is what made me realize that he was separating himself from what he did.
I think judge Newman is very wily.
Compare the Chris Watts case where he confessed only when the detective reassured him that he was essentially a good guy but… and CW still thinks he should be judged not for killing his family but for his outward character before and after the murders.
Alex M was being offered an ‘out’ by JN whereby ‘opioid AM’ alter ego was responsible. After appeals have been exhausted, I predict AM will eventually (semi) admit his guilt and blame ‘opioid AM’.
I watched Judge Newman's sentencing of Rowland. Rowland said more or less exactly the same as Murdaugh. Judge N has heard a lot of crap.
I’d like to see some drug tests… I think he ran a drug trafficking operation
I totally agree!
Your description of members of the Murdaugh family arriving at the scene of the boat crash, getting through the police lines, and probably attempting to make it appear that Paul wan’t involved, is, I think, exactly why Alex called his friends and family members to come to the crime scene at the kennels. It wasn’t to support Alex, but, in the dark of night, to mess up the crime scene and muddy up tire tracks, and do what they could to deflect responsibility from the family.
💯 agree
Good point and how many other times in a 100 years
Totally agree with you. It was purposeful
They did the same when Paul crashed his car into the ditch
And you are an expert in how people should sound???
Alex’s brother (the attorney) spoke out finally and said Alex knows more. I’m sure y’all saw the news. So glad I found this channel. Thank you for shining light on the unspeakable and connecting the dots to help us begin to comprehend the role that enmeshment and shame played in these murders. It was clear to me that Alex was incapable of facing shame or feeling empathy after seeing him on the stand. You helped me understand the power of the family myth and more about the family system. Cautionary tale indeed. Thank you again. I’ve listened to this multiple times. Great work!!
I also heard that the brother Randy hasn’t spoken to Alex in about a year. It also seems to me that Alex wants to talk to John Marvin’s wife more than John Marvin. She sounds a lil too flirty for a sister in law. I guess she’s the one that’s in charge of sending him money so that’s why he sounds a lil flirty too bc he’s schmoozing her to do his bidding. I’ve listened to every jail house phone call and it’s mind boggling to me that Alex keeps heckling Buster to get back in the same law school that kicked him out for plagiarism. It’s insane! Tell me who would hire Buster to be their attorney after all this? I don’t believe anyone would hire him unless it was just someone that had been living under a rock and wasn’t aware of this horrible family who truly believed and still believes that they are entitled, above the law and better than the rest of us peasants. Also I’m not convinced Alex’s opioid addiction was as bad as he claims it was. He clearly said he would take 100 30mg. OxyContin pills in one day. He would have died if he took even half that amount so I think he was using that as an excuse for all the lies which were many that he got called out for. He wouldn’t be able to function or take good care of himself or his hygiene. He’d be wrecking and passing out asleep all the time. He would miss meetings and court dates and wouldn’t have the wits about him to keep up with all these victims and remember what he told them. I think he was involved with some type of illegal money laundering scheme and possibly running drugs more than he was taking them himself. Maybe involved in some prostitution crap or something like that. I wonder if he has buried money on that property since he was always out there working on food plots, scouting for deer, hunting deer, turkey, hogs, quail and dove. It was quite a bit of acreage and a place where people wouldn’t be trespassing on that land bc people would be too scared to get caught on a Murdaugh’s property. There are millions unaccounted for so he either has it hidden somewhere or he’s had to pay people off so they won’t expose him for the waste of human skin that he is. It is bothersome to me that Buster could even want to speak to his sorry father for blowing the brains out of his brother and mothers heads. I don’t understand that unless Buster is just standing by him bc he thinks there’s still perks that his father has but I think bc that’s come to an end. Buster should cut ties, settle down and marry a nice down to earth girl and have some babies and start a whole new Murdaugh bloodline that is made up of decent, law abiding people who are humble and not greedy and think they are superior beings.
This is really good stuff. I come from psychology and law background, and it’s always the motives behind horrible acts like this that are so fascinating to me. Also, I must credit Dr John for coming up with believable theories that he backs up with science, art and fact. FYI, if you haven’t heard, Randy actually admitted to the media that he thinks Alex definitely knows more about the murders than he is saying. He qualified that somewhat by saying it’s hard to wrap around his mind that Alex could commit the murders himself since he was by all appearances a loving and caring father. I was very surprised to hear him say as much as he did, but I thought I would throw this in there bc Randy may have said that after you all did this video. Either way, from what I understand in many if not most cases of familicide by the patriarch, the perp comes across as or can truly be loving and caring up to that certain point when they murder family members. Thank for this!! DH
Found your channel because of Murdaugh. There's so many channels covering the case but the uniqueness in your insight and analyses separates you from the rest. You're both highly appreciated. ❤️
Agree!
Truth!
Dr. John, your analysis is so deep. But it’s the deep dark invisible stuff that often run our lives and most of us are totally unaware of it. I’m loving this. Thank you.
A scapegoat of a malignant narcissist mother backed by a large extended family, I could not break away despite terrible psychologoical/emotional abuse until I learned of narcissism at 54 only after her reaction at my near deathbed. Ostracism from one's family is fundamentally terrifying like being thrown out of the pack to strave, die and be preyed upon. So hard, forever painful, heartbreaking and lonely.
Are we related somehow? I'm 69yo and I was around 9yo when my mother explained to me that some children are only supposed to come to the earth for a short time. She said if those children stayed too long, they would cause terrible hardships for the rest of the family. She said I was one of those kids and the best thing to do was run out and get hit by a car. Everything would be fine, and I'd be an angel in heaven. Needless to say, I didn't do it. I continued to be the 💩 target for the whole family until I was 37yo. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.
Sometimes it's a blessing! Being around toxic people who talk worse about you than an enemy is not needed in my life. Our hospital killed my brother and the middle brother thinks he's the head of the family now and he's nothing but a pathological liar that never has a good word to say about anyone.
I'm better off without those kinds of people, family or not.
if anyone in this thread, or op, is tired of carrying on the madness, Eckhart Tolle, his YT videos, & books have helped me to understand that healing, accepting our lot in life, as much as we can, is possible, & can be practical & practice-able, i encourage anyone /everyone to check him out.
@@marysmith509 oh my God, I'm so sorry😢
@@marysmith509 that is truly unbelievable!😢😢
Finally got to finish watching. I watched the whole trial and couldn't wrap my mind around Alex pulling the trigger. Dr. John is the only one that made sense to me getting to motive. It's so outside the box of normal person's thinking but it makes sense to me now. Thought it was interesting when Alex focused on "clearing Paul's name" instead of finding the murderers. He prevented Paul from going to trial and getting convicted so he accomplished that. Love your take,references to Poe really applies. New to your channel. Look forward to following
When he said to Maggies sister that "someone thought about this for a long time" gave me goose bumps. That was all I needed to hear to prove him guilty!
Having followed this case through other channels, I felt there was a missing intellectual vector, which as a psychologist I was searching for. I have now found what I was searching for in the assiduous content in your channel. Absolutely brilliant !
I agree this channel brings insight and psychological analysis not found elsewhere. Surviving the Survivor channel also has some good analysis by a profiler who says the rage and brutality of manner of death speaks to more underlying issues.
Wow, thank you!
The best content I've found on the Murdaugh family. You two dug deep into the psychology behind the dynasty. Shame avoidance is huge.
100% correct my late ex-husband came from such a family where my ex mother-in-law said one for all and all for one and it was devastating. The entire family was broken to the point where two of her sons are dead. Her daughter has cancer and the remaining son an alcoholic so this is a fabulous podcast that you’re bringing right now!
I love learning so much from you two. It doesn't matter that your background is plain. The content is so excellent..that's why we are here! Thanks for all you do
I appreciated that Waters wisely let Alex talk ad-nauseam because when he did…he lied more and more and gave himself away. Smart move for Waters.
YOU GUYS LITERALLY BLOW MY MIND... thank you so much. This is an incredible platform. It's EXACTLY the piece of the puzzle I've been missing to tie up all the loose ends with all my studies so far, across a wide range of experiences and topics... It's brought everything together. Just wow. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE... 😱😱😱☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
Ive shared your channel far and wide. Love from Ireland.
Wow! Thank you so much Rachel. What an incredible compliment!
🌈☁️☘️⚔️Irish!! 🦄🍀💯💚 Woohoo!! ⚔️🛡️⚖️☘️🍀💚❤️🍀☘️🌺😃👍🍀🌞☘️💚🌸❤️🤗🕊️🍃
@@speaklifegardenhomesteadpe8783 lol 😂😂😂 🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪
I might need to pull a sicky for the next six months while I catch up with every video you've ever made...I might be here for a while. Lol 🤣
Be careful. It can happen to any family unbeknownst to the other members.
I just found you guys and I'm learning so much. One thing I noticed is that Alex, Buster and John Marvin sounded rehearsed when talking about how loving and close the family was/is. When listening to the jail calls, it feels a lot cooler coming from Buster and John. Like you say, the family shame and public image are priority number 1.
Thank you for telling the News & the Books we can read too. 👍🇺🇲
Definitely interesting- what a crazy story. When I first saw it- come across the news, immediately- I knew that there was so much more to this story.
Thanks for such in depth- not hysterical or inflammatory reporting on this case.
It’s so refreshing.
Poor Maggie and Paul- let us never forget them.
The collective narcissism, entitlement , recklessness , and disregard for others in this Murdaugh family is frightening. Thank you for this video, I learned a lot!!
"narcissism, entitlement, recklessness, and disregard for other". The Murdaughs - a microcosm of most of our governments these days.
Everyone needs to listen to the Lindsey Edwards story about his violent encounters with a trafficked victim. SLED members were involved as well.
Hey Alec blow Paw Paw's brains 🧠 out
Collective for sure. The entire family reminds me of the criminal gang families, syndicates or corrupt corporations. Violence, opportunism and expediency, risk-taking, hierarchies and protecting own interest over everything. Paul and Maggie were victims just like many before them, Mallory Beach, Gloria Satterfield. The tone of the Satterfield 911 call, despite 25 years of Gloria being ' family' and the ruthlessness over Mallory's death as exposed by comments from Paul and Maggie the night of the crash just show that cold, self-protective prioritising was not limited to Alec.
@@sajahf they were operating certainly like a mob family
I think the fact that the judge removed the family portrait from the courtroom opened the curtain on the family shame and was an attempt at leveling the playing field.
It baffles me that they didn’t change venue. That seems biased
They should have put the portrait on the wall behind the judge when the judge sentenced Alex
@@SCONDORA22 Alex Murdaugh was from Hampton County. He lived and worked there. The trial was held in Colleton County which is a change in venue. Colleton County is made up of several small rural towns like Ha,phone County. Rural counties are close in proximity.
This is the best content I've seen on the Murdaugh case. It's actually about how this could happen and why Alec's family covers for him. I just saw you're a husband and wife team. ♥️
I agree.
My friend lives near them. She said Maggie, Paul , Buster were not liked in their town much at alll. Maggie was a very entitled human with terrible kids she didn’t make mind or behave. It wasn’t just Paul being a trouble maker. Buster , and Maggie were trouble makers in their own.
What did Buster and Maggie do specifically?
Her nail technician in Hampton spoke well of her. Said she always smiled and adored her 2 boys and the beach house.
I heard people only began shunning her after the boat accident which is why she stayed at beach house more.
She and Alex both had poor parenting skills.
Amongst all the things that Alex said while giving statements and testifying he said I " got myself wed to that" when he was talking about something and I thought of MAGGIE. Like he got himself yoked to a hot mess.
YES SHE RAISED A COUPLE OF BRATS YES SHE didn't bring any money into the house. As she tried to enforce her will on Alex beta statement I don't like to be shamed. I think she encouraged Paul to try to shame him as well. In any case the whole family is a mess generation after generation
@@2Ryled The operator didn't tell her that help was on the way right away and this frustrated Maggie. That's what I heard.That she wanted help to come urgently and answering the operator's questions seemed to be wasting time to her. Paul sounded calm but some people are calm in an emergency. Apparently P was v close to Gloria. She'd been with him all his life.
I agree with you and it does seem like they felt like they were so privileged and could do as they wanted to 👍
I think folks have overlooked a more convincing motive for murdering Maggie. She was about to find out about the financial crimes. This on top of the long-term drug issue and probably other marital misdeeds. I've been an attorney for 40 years. I would have immediately advised "Maggs" to file for divorce to protect her share of the marital estate before the victims started to collect their restitution. Alec also would have needed to buy time to liquidate assets he almost certainly had hidden and that he needed to keep his embezzlement hidden.
Interesting perspective...I wondered what possible justification there could be for an otherwise successful man to murder his son, and his wife, in that manner, and be able to live with himself later...I was astonished and just plain stumped. What a case! 🎉
My ex husband’s parents died 2016/2017 & still no headstones. As I watched AM I realized I was married to someone exactly like him. I was like all the business partners who couldn’t wrap their mind around it all. The trauma of learning how my whole marriage was smoke & mirrors has been horrible. The missing headstone helps me know it was a blessing I got out.
It’s weird you’re following what’s going on with in-laws headstones. It means you’re endlessly prying into your ex’s life. Seek help. 😏
@@mrsmartypants_1 I follow ex husband's families no headstones and other victims of his that no longer have a voice ° my therapist claims it's normal under the circumstances of being one of many of their victims cuz I too could be one more without a voice
@@merry8545 Your therapist would be smart to tell you to move on and stop regurgitating the past endlessly and stop shadowing those who did you wrong. Many therapists are more screwed up than their patients. There is also strong motivation from disingenuous therapists to keep you dependent on them as long as possible to keep the money flowing in.
@@mrsmartypants_1 that's rude.
@@Irish-Triplet Yep. Some people require rudeness.
When Alex said "I did him so bad" I actually believe he didn't mean to shoot him in the head on the second shot. I believe he wanted to kill him but not blow his brains out. The graphic nature of the crime scene is where his emotion originated from. Not the act of murdering his wife and son.
I'm deaf in one ear and the 1st time I heard the recording I heart him say 'i" . I also floored that others heard otherwise!
came here to say this. That brain exiting the skull was a shock to AM, he never expected that to be possible.
I felt that too Brenda. The spokesperson for the jury as seen on TV said he never saw any tears. I did see tears at times during the trial. At times Alex looked incredibly distressed upon having to listen to details of the crime. I felt he was deeply affected by what he had done.
@Peachell Alex narcissist evil sociopath knew what he was doing, including blowing Paul's brain out.
Seriously, I am sick and tired of people who make excuses for evil monsters. Thank God! You're in the minority.
Paul WAS driving the boat...and there are witnesses! All the kids were drinking, but PAUL (aka "Timmy) was drunk out of his MIND...had to be strapped to a gurney to control him in the hospital. For the rest of the family to DENY that Paul was driving is PATHETIC! He needed to pay for his crime, but not by being murdered by his own father.
Since they shared the driving and had conflicting statements right after the wreck I’m not sure he was driving but irregardless they are all as responsible as whomever was driving. They willing got on a boat with a known drunk driver and they were all adults. When they stopped for drinks they had another chance to call a sober driver or Uber. If they hit someone on another boat then whomever was driving would be liable. Why should a parent be sued for what their grown child did. That’s why they went civil because everybody on that boat was adults and no one was more guilty than the others.
@@glbrk303 ?
@BlackCoffee
The two guys were sitting in the drivers seat sharing the driving of the boat. The kids statements right after the accident were conflicting some saying the other one was driving some saying Paul was driving. They were all drinking they all are just as guilty as the one driving. They should not have gotten on the boat, they were all adults. They took their lives into their own hands and they each are just as responsible as whomever was driving. None of them are innocent of blame. I’m not responsible for what my grown adult son does.
The Netflix documentary included the results of Kinsley's investigation, and the accident investigator he hired said only Paul could have been driving when the boat hit then piling.
@@lifesquandered although I agree he was prolly driving. A Netflix series isn’t exactly the pillar of the evidence. Right in the middle of the trial. Talk about forces. The media and Hellywood are spinners of the truth and maybe you’ll learn that one day.
I live here in the Lowcountry of SC. am close friends with Cousins of the Murdaugh’s. There is a section of Ruffin, SC. where MANY Murdaugh’s live in a compound & now ALL want to change their family name !! Intertwined is an understatement !! Even the distant Cousins are !! These Southern towns in the country are TINY & VERY tight knit. Buster will have to move off Hilton Head. He & his gf are being harassed by the National press & are being followed wherever they go. Buster called the Sheriff’s Dept. last weekend. With that Red hair, he’ll be taunted wherever he goes in the state !! In the meantime, their hood is being closely watched by law enforcement. Good luck Buster & Brooklyn !!
So great to hear you address the shame-based family! Please help set us free!
Your honesty, professional experience, intellect, educational background, and humble spirit is refreshing.
I love that you reference literature while covering the psychology in true crime. Thank you!
I only discovered your excellent work just now. I have always believed that the motive for Alex’s heinous actions was shame and an attempt to save the family from the incredible can of worms being opened. They all held Paul and Maggie responsible for everything that happened since it all went wrong with the boat accident. I imagine they blame Paul for being a spoilt, rude and horrible child that brought negative scrutiny to the family. He seems to have been doing this quite often. They blamed Maggie for being the one that spoilt and indulged him as I imagine she was the primary parent since dad was the busy earner and wouldn't be deeply involved in rearing him. They were dispensable, and getting rid of them would solve problems emerging from the can of worms Paul opened. They could sort out the Alex thievery and deceptions later. I have shared, subscribed, and bought the book you recommended, and I look forward to exploring your work and those to come. Respect from 🇬🇧
I love that the two of you are picking up on the part of the story many have missed. It makes sense with Dr. John's background. I've loved the Murdaugh Podcasts since the beginning. They have covered the case so well, exposing many of the background stories.
I think the key is Buster will testify for his dad, since his dad may have been covering up for him in the murder of Stephen Smith. They actually say the Murdaugh boys may have been involved. Everyone is scratching everyone else's back and unless they keep playing, their parts get exposed. Like John Marvin being named the executor of the will for Maggie instead of her sister Marion whom she had named in the will. I mean if Alec gives up his rights and John Marvin steps up, does that keep money from being available for the victims of the boat crash?
Very interesting hearing about the dynamics of enmeshed families, particularly that leaving is seen as a betrayal. A former gf of mind had such a family and it was fascinating witnessing the techniques the parents used to keep the children - all adults - under their control. With her family, I thought they largely wanted the kids around to distract from their shitty marriage. If they’d been left too much with just each other, I believe they’d have eventually divorced. I see now that from the time enmeshed family kids are born they’re treated primarily as a member of that family, not as an individual. I saw a video that discussed Maggie and it’s reported she brought her sons up as “You’re a Murdaugh. Never forget you’re a Murdaugh.”
So glad to have found your channel, this is great content! On the "They/I did them so bad" comment by Alex - have been relistening to clips of the trial and during the cross examination of Alex, Waters is questioning him about his ability to steal money from his clients and how he could "sit them down and look them in the eye" and convince them he was doing the right thing by them. Alex tries to frustrate Waters by arguing the specific phrasing/context of Water's questions, saying he never 'sat them down'. After much back and forth of Waters trying to get him to recall just 1 conversation with a client he defrauded, Alex says "One of the saddest parts of this whole thing is, you know, they're people that I still care about and I IDID THEM this way". This was a phrase that he commonly used. I agree with you both, he said "I did them so bad".
I felt like Alex also revealed the “why, who when” type thing while he was just rambling talking to police and on the stand. I’ve been married to three narcissists and I was able to spot his lies from the get go on the videos with the cops. So many telling things. That said, I believe he made several confessions: 1. He immediately blamed it on the boat accident. He tried to blame someone angry at him but really it was Alex angry at Paul. So he’s saying that he killed Paul Becasue of the boat accident and I feel it was because it was toppling the dynasty that was already sitting on the fence ready to topple over. 2. He said “the murderer had planned it for a long time”. He said that Because HE planned it out and that’s why the timing of things were so tight and fairly clean because it was all planned out neat and tidy as he could make it. 3. He also said whoever did this had a deep anger for Paul. Well again as referenced above - Alex had a deep anger to Paul for the boat accident and as you said, he was willing to sacrifice Paul for the family good. 4. Another curious point which I felt surprised the prosecutor didn’t press him on was why the dogs never barked. You got all these dogs and if strangers are coming up why didn’t the dogs bark and why didn’t Alex hear them and Alex clearly said “Because there was no one else there.”
I believe these are some keys admission he made here. Liars lie but they also tell the truth when they “think” they are lying. Liars always tell you who they really are. We either listen and believe or we choose to brush it off. I think most people had money to gain by Alex and so they brushed off his suspicious behavior. I’m dumbfounded to think so many high level people were so ignorant to the obvious deeds he was doing. Then he got busted lying about his lie right there in front of the jury. That was a glorious moment - Alex knew exactly when they were killed - they were killed at the exact time he lied about what he was doing
I have a lot of experience with NPD and I picked up on the exact things you did. For somebody like us he was not a good liar. In addition to the examples you gave, he answered questions in a very manipulative way. He would repeat questions to buy time to lie and also to mock the prosecutor and make him look dumb. It didn't work. That prosecutor read him just like we do. The good thing about a narcissist is they think they are too good to get caught. They get cocky which gets them caught. He thought he could get away with murder. Then he thought he could testify even though everybody knows testifying is bad.
I don’t know if all the dogs were Labrador’s but I’ve had several and they don’t bark at anything.
@Carol Seven; they were hunting dogs so instinctively they would’ve barked if anything/anyone unfamiliar were around.
Interesting: #3. His "deep hatred for Paul. I think there's more to this and it probably relates to Paul acting out some kind of trauma, in his violence and his daily drinking. How could a child in a "loving family" be drinking like this all the time and no one intervenes. Not only do they not, but the provide alcohol for him and his friends, even as young teenagers. And on all this is the fact that somehow this kid had high blood pressure at 22. I'm not seeing a lot of love for him in this family. He seems adrift; completely on his own.
@@carolseven3802 My brothers labs bark.
When I heard the prosecutor say shame was a powerful motivation for Alex Murdaugh. I said to my husband omg that's the theory from the Dr. on hidden true crime. I bet the prosecution team used that!! 👏🏾
Just saw this podcast. I truly love how you two want to make sure to acknowledge each other. That’s awesome to have that much respect for each other.
Only at start of video, but I was glad to hear Dr. John thank you ☺️ today, Lauren! It drives me crazy when I hear you thank your husband, & he has no response. Glad to see the appreciation today!
I’ve been waiting for the psychological part of this case to come out. Your podcast is incredible and seems right on point.
Dr John if you arent already , you should be a university professor , I am enlightened and I never get bored .
There was a moment while John Marvin was on the stand and he said that trying to clean Paul's brains and blood was the worst thing that he has ever had to do..he glared at Alex and that glare was returned with an almost imperceptible nod...It was like john Marvin was letting Alex know that he knew the truth
I BELIEVE THEY KNEW HE KILLED THEM...AND THEY WERE OK TO COVER IT UP TO KEEP THE FAMILY NAME...WOW
@@elainecongo3827 indeed
yep
Don't feel sorry for John Marvin
He is the 'dumb cleaner-upper' in that family. Friends help you move, family helps you move bodies.
@@bettyboop-xg6jo he and Randy are the interesting people. The "fixers" probably.
Appreciate all those recognised / mentioned for their research and hard work in exposing this family & their Crimes / alies 👏🏻🎓
From early on I suspected that Alex killed his son and wife! Your assessment is spot on! His son Buster has lost a mother, a brother and now a father. I hope that Buster has other family that will help him through this. Can you imagine how Buster felt sitting through this trial of his Dad hearing all this?
Oh that's so horrible there's no headstones on Maggie and Pauls graves. How sad I lost my Dad at 13 and a year went by, my mother made us think there was no money. I was working and I bought my Dad's headstone at 14. The whole family has money to have shown some respect for Maggie and Paul. Makes my heart hurt 💔
That's their real shame
First time I ever heard of this ☹. Very telling. Supprised it wasn't brought up in court?
@@phyllisbarr4766 Heartbreaking. Maybe Maggie’s sister will do it now.
Headstones are rarely sat for soon after burials. Earth properties and , in this case, a chance of exhumation.
@@LINDA-oi4mt They had no reason to exhume them, they had complete autopsies. It's so sad , just proves they were expendable.
I’m so glad this came up on my feed! I’ve been wanting to hear the psychological aspects of this family’s dynamics. You just hit me over the head with the fact that no one was representing Paul and Maggie!! I feel like she has been a mere footnote in this horrible story. Thank you for taking this on and giving us valuable insight into this sick family dynasty.
Your theory re generational shame last week absolutely unlocked the whole case for me. Thank you! I am so grateful finding your channel, and appreciate the thoughtful, insightful, brilliant unpacking. And hard work, of course. Kind regards from South Africa. 🇿🇦
I happened upon your channel this evening. Very interesting discussion. Initially, I found all of the information around this case, not believable, but unfortunately, the stories are interwoven, and with so much corruption, worse than one could imagine. Thanks for your video!
Dr.John I’m new to your channel but as a Forensic Psychiatrist I think you are spot on with the Murdaughs which I know personally! Great insight!
Thank you so much! Such an incredible compliment
Your a dynamic couple, & I thought very generous in the outset to acknowledge others that have reported. Your input was very appreciated & thought provoking, as well as educational. Another interesting show, Thankyou both, I always look forward to clicking on
Thank you so much!
I hope Maggie’s sister see this video. I know she figured it out that Alex killed her sister and nephew I’m sure it hurt her that the whole murdaugh family behind him when he was clearly lying the entire time. I pray for her and Maggie’s family healing. So so sad.
Why would she need to see THIS video. 🤭. His lawyer brother just put out a statement saying he believes his brother knows a lot more and he hasn’t talked to him in over a year. We know his one brother and son are trying to help him stay out of prison but we have no idea how they feel. None at all. There is loyalty and there’s believing him. This video is just another RUclipsr who likes to toot their own horn to feel important. 🤷🏼♀️
@@AMYV3 I was saying that because the mental part of it helps explain the background mind to why this kind of thing happens in a family unit to hide all shame and show solidarity of support even though randy knew he probably did it....he sat in the rows right behind Alex...so even tho randy knows, he still showed support for Alex. And Yes Randy said that but that doesn’t help to wrap your head around the dynamic of it all it just kinda helps you see and get it more...when you have some understanding of where it derives from...is all I meant by I hope she see it...
I was absolutely convinced that Alex’s father had a huge influence on Alex killing his family. Then, you mentioned that tidbit! Mind blown.
Mmmm😳
I really appreciate Dr. John's insight. While my family doesn't contain murderers, the history does include no small amount of shame, and the insights into family myths re shame are invaluable.
I was very interested in the “ Mesch” theory
( not sure if it’s correct). I was surprised to see how many times a day they would contact each other. The defense went through pages of phone calls and messages during one day. Even though Buster had moved away to University, he was still talking to his parents and brother many times a day. He also confirmed this was a typical day.
It doesn’t give any room for independence or individual growth. The main role of parents is to provide space for personal development and then allow the adult child to live their own life, whilst still being supported in the family.
This sounds more like a cult than a close family.
I agree!
Children must pull away and lead their own lives and the constant interaction must fade so that they become independent young adults in order to develop normally.
Alex and Maggie tragically failed as parents. Buster kicked out of law school for plagiarism and cheating?
Paul with his horrific alcohol abuse and breaking the law, endangering himself and others.
Alex felt entitled, was carelessly cruel to friends and colleagues ànd clients, and led a life built on lies.... So Sick .
Maggie too must have felt entitled throughout their early family life and was realizing their "good times"
lives were built on shifting sand.
A Southern Gothic Tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.
Watching replay. I pray someone out there has the courage to turn over EVERY stone in regards to this family and bring it to an end once and for all! Imagine what we don’t know through many years
Cheers to Lauren, for all your consistent hard work to keep the channel hot. Y’all are great and I get excited to see there is another discussion/video up. Thank you both for showing up! 4:13
Thank you! This means a lot!
I see the murders of Paul & Maggie serving several purposes for Alex. By killing Maggie, he keeps her from experiencing the shame & humiliation of the downfall and by killing Paul, he not only put a stop to the boat case but additionally saved Paul from having to experience prison time. Somehow he was able to justify these actions in his own mind. I think the actual visualality of killing was the cause of the actual tears/emotion seen in Alex. Paul spoke from the grave with the video - great analogy from Poe!
Maggie jumped ship.. I feel she ran out of the will to prop up and cover for her husband.. I feel with Gloria she went with , but she decided it had to end with the fraud.. ? Possibly. ?
I agree. Maggie would be devastating to know their source of income was lost, their reputation, Alex serving time for fraud ect. Paul in prison. But it was recoverable. Maggie go live w her parents. Settle all outstanding debts, sell houses ect. Loose the prestigious reputation but be able start a new life.
I think he killed Maggie because she had moved to the beach house and was going to divorce him. His ego couldn't let that happen.
There was the monster ego, in the downturn from a spectacle of his own fall from Grace, caught in the lies of stealing from friends & family, and a loss of his license to serve in his own GF's Law Firm, knowing that only the Insurance from such a catastrophe could save him. Killing both was probably only to prevent Paul from observing and reacting, since by calling Maggie to come home, it was just she that he intended to kill, but Paul tagged along.
@Rescue Mom beautifully stated!
Love that you are looking at motive from a family systems perspective!
This is the best content on the Murdaugh case and the Murdaughs as people. So insightful and intelligent. I have learned so much!!
Thank you so much for describing how the family themes in this crime echo those of The Fall of the House of Usher. So perfect. There is no one who draws our attention to great literature in the field of true crime like Dr John and I am immensely grateful for the privilege of listening to and learning from his deep knowledge and experience.
This comment made me listen. All the love to the channel is nice but I want a hint of the goods. Thank you for posting.
I agree John that Buster nor anyone else will ever admit publicly that Alec is guilty, but I do believe behind closed doors Randy and John Marvin talk openly and freely to each other and I do believe they know it’s all true. They are far to smart to deny it to themselves. Their love for their brother (blood is thicker than water) is the most important to them and they are going to protect him to others. This is one of the saddest cases I have ever seen.
I don't know bc on a jail phone call John Marvin was telling Alex to just confess all there is to confess. Get it out the abd pay the consequences. Alex was in custody for double murder not financial crimes.
@@amc2510 Right, but John Marvin telling Alex to confess to anything he's done, doesn't mean that John Marvin hadn't already formed his own opinion. In fact, it could be the exact reason he made that statement.
It is not just love for brother but love for Murdaugh name.
Thank you both & any behind the scenes people to make this possible. It takes so many hours of work to put these out!
Thank you for this opportunity to view yiur amazing work. This Murdaugh "thing" is unbelievable. It's sadder than anything in a famiky I have heard in long while. Dr. JOHN thank you for your expertise on family shame. Amen..
NO apology needed. I love the professionalism & reviews & insight’s.
Dr John I find your insights fascinating. So glad I found your channel. I love how you add literary readings and viewpoints too. Lauren does a fantastic job linking everything together. I gave you a like on my phone and now I am doing it on my iPad. Really appreciate learning from you guys and hope your channel goes from strength to strength.
I really wanted to send Creighton yout theory of shame last week, . My heart flipped when CW brought shame into his closing argument - for me, this nailed the cross for Creighton. Love your channel guys- watching from Ireland
Grateful for your podcast. I truly need therapy.. family shame is running rampant in my mind. Thank you Dr John.
This insight from a psychologist is fascinating to hear. Love listening
I just found this channel and I am impressed! Glad I did. I look forward to watching more. Thank you for sharing your knowledge Dr Matthias!
I was watching it live when creighton mentioned Shame, I thought of you guys immediately.
Dr. John
I said out loud Those are Dr John’s thoughts, conclusions and words!
Bravo
Thank you so much for including some literature in your live broadcast. I also see the falling of the house being the end of the disturbed family system. The Murdaugh family will only be buried alive as they breathe if they don't become more authentic. What an unfortunate family.
I live in South Africa and watch your programme regularly. Wonderful to see the whole situation from a different angle...
Good to hear your takes on Family & the Murdaugh trial.
Grateful he was found guilty.
Hoping Buster holds his Dad responsible 4 his crimes.
Maybe Buster is shaking in his boots too.
It was so evident that Alex was trying to get sympathy by using the term PawPaw in court…..found that disgusting!
Right, Pau-Pau and Magg's
@@paulafeudo5504 don’t forget RoRo for Rogan. Haha
Me too. That made me angry.
It was. What was most telling was, as far as I could see, he didn't use the term in the car immediately after 'finding'' Paul dead, he called him Paul. Yet in court, for the Jury, he switched to baby names of Paul-Paul
@@misstortitude ...Right, so disgusting! And 'Mags', Fooling no-one.
You two don’t need the bells and whistles hanging on your wall! Your dynamic together💛
I have been following Emily D baker’s legal commentary on this case and it is interesting to hear your perspective as it gives a psychological deep dive, whereas Emily does a legal deep dive, these two perspectives together are both needed to fully understand this case, I appreciate your insights thank you for explaining it so well
Sadly- they are both eye openers. A) we will never have the resources for lesser crimes - judge Newman said in SC lesser criminals were sentenced to death. B) emotional closure to the mind f*ck of how humans choose greed and reputation over human life.
Emily is great
Ran across your channel during Murdaugh trial & find your discussions fascinating ! Great work !
Watching from England. So interesting to be made aware of the long family history and the eventual tragic consequences.
The irony is just how strong depressed people actually are, navigating the world from a deficit to perform tasks that are are taken for granted by most.
In many ways Paul was the "spare' in Alex's eyes, Buster was primed to take over from Alex. Paul was the family scapegoat, as compared to Buster the Golden child. Even the fact that Paul physically resembled Maggie more than Alex, would have been a narcissistic injury to a man like Alex.
Thanks to both of you and the amazing work you're sharing with the world. Your professional insight is so valuable. As an RN, I am grateful for your contributions in a world of insanity. The light you each shine on these events is incredible. So truly, thank you!
Y'all this was a FABULOUS EPISODE!! Thank you Dr John
It's nice of you to acknowledge the others that really provided some great information.
Thank you. We couldn’t have done our in-depth research without the hard work of so many! We always try to acknowledge the numerous independent creators, podcasters, authors, and commenters who provide so much.
@@HiddenTrueCrime You are helping to get the news out there. Wherever we get information we need to spread the news because still a lot of people don't know about the huge amount of facts regarding this case. For instance Murdaughs murders podcast. So thanks for acknowledging and getting the news out there.
It would be a very interesting part 3 on shame to talk about shaming inside the family actually being used as the means to create these enmeshed families. I have seen a family of very high reputation in a community actually subconsciously gang up and shame a member who veered in the slightest into submission. It was bizarre to witness. Now I see what they were doing, internal shaming to prevent external shaming.
Same thing. Friend of mine was disowned for years because she didn’t support fathers false story of accident. He killed multiple illegal workers on his farm driving drunk. There were so many horrific things in that case but l can say he did no time.
A brilliant episode as always. Thank you for your understanding of this case. I wasn’t able to watch live but watched today, Sunday. I, too, struggled to escape from an enmeshed family, as have many.
Please no neon lights behind you we love not to get distracted when we listen to your interesting awesome video’s! 😍👌🏼
Especially talking about family dynamics, you guys really seem to understand how wicked our world is nowadays!
Coming from a disengaged family, hearing you explain these things, I immediately freeze and listen to what you are telling us about it!!! So many things I never understood in my childhood, I remember that I often felt very confused without a specific reason for it!
I slowly start to learn about these feelings! It took me a while before I got myself in the proces of acknowledging my family dynamics! Very traumatized I always pushed the pain away from me! What I know now but didn’t then, finally begin to make sense and through my proces I learn and try to accept the things for what they are!
I had to give up my dreams and believes relating to what I always thought of how family/bonds worked! How to live in peace and harmony with eachother, learn from eachother etc etc! u
Unfortunately my family is not capable to feel those things, they are cold and miss emphatic skills to put themselves in other people’s shoes! With them not even willing to try got me so frustrated and very sad a lot of times, but these experiences for me were needed to come to some conclusions and when I reached that point everything fell in to place!
I’m still figuring it out, it’s a long proces but I am ready to take it all! In the end I don’t wanna feel any regrets because regret let you do things you don’t wanna do!
As a HSP born in a non loving family I think confusion and emotions can be somewhat higher than non HSP people normally experience!
It was a lot, it is a lot, but I am at peace now and that is GOLD!
Thank God I have my own family, 2 beautiful daughters and 2 beautiful grandchildren who light up my live, loving me for me, argue with me, challenging me etc!
They are my happiness and my dreams of the past don’t matter anymore!
As long as I have them, I’ll be ok!
Thank you both for all you learn us!
Even without neon lights in the background!
I think you don’t need them! We listen/watch anyway! 💯♥️
Watching From the Netherlands 🇳🇱
Looking forward to the next one! ✌🏼😘
We are so happy you have your own beautiful family now. You described your happiness with them perfectly. Thank you for watching
Absolutely!!! It’s worth everything! ❤
And thank you both, we all love the little life lessons coming through your video’s and podcast!
I’m about to start with the Daybell family video’s now Murdaugh is convicted!
I think I’m gonna find some of my own truths in these video’s, relating to family dynamics ofcourse! We do not ‘finish’ people in my family haha 🤪😋
Very enlightening analysis that answered a lot of questions I had that haven't been addressed adequately elsewhere. No worries about "office decorations," and you'll grow and develop with time.
Thank you!
@@HiddenTrueCrime you're most welcome. Although the prosecution didn't have to prove motive according to SC criminal law (just malice) the motive remained a mystery to me until I saw your analysis on the subject. The Solicitor's Office official version that Murdaugh killed his wife and son to delay the 10-Jul-2021 hearing and as a distraction from his financial crimes left me unsatisfied because it seemed to "shallow" for me. This is a pretty drastic way to draw attention away from both the pending hearning and frauds.
I understand the broad differences between enmeshed family systems and disegaged family systems. I presume we are speaking of a spectrum, like autism. This makes sense to me though, I must admit, killing 2 members of one's closest family is a very extreme "solution" to the accumulating problems that Murdaugh was facing.
Great summation behind the awful crime and the series of crimes yet to be uncovered!!!!! Thanks for making sense of it all. This was SO helpful!!!!
At first when I started following you I thought it would be another Murdaugh murders chitchat videos but you are so much more! Thank you for the insights and mindful conversations
You two are wonderful together, many thanks.
I absolutely love this psychological analysis. I was shocked the psychology of this case wasn’t expounded upon during the trial. The entire trial was a psychological feast for even the elementaly trained eye. I am loving this!
I must add that once the audio was slowed down, what I thought I heard as, “I really did him bad.” changed to “They really did him bad.” But either way, I see Alex as the perpetrator.
I would think if the psychological factors in this case would have excused Alex, possible even a claim “not of sound mind”, he then wouldnt have stood trial
I just found your channel and I think it's brilliant 👍 great insight and information. I always thought there is more to this family than just what I seen in the court room but couldn't put my finger on it but I knew there was More and you two nailed it to what I was looking for👍
Came across you by accident. Great find, great work. Been following this case from the UK and found out so much interesting stuff I’ve never heard before.
I’ve donned this family the #crackerbarrelsopranos , I can see the parallel in mob families, the psychopathy of compounded corruption, greed, winning at all costs, I tell many of my clients about your channel you help the lay person understand the why to such unimaginable tragedies, they are preventable, I wish Paul & Alex too could’ve gotten therapy before this imploded, so sad for humanity. A lot of us are grateful for good folks after seeing this play out, proud of that SC jury too for ending the dysfunction. Great judge as well.
Thank you both for all your explanations and compassion for the victims. So many interesting facts, the money spent on life style, when so many so many he stole from had financial difficulties. Also interesting that the M family had staff to do so many jobs for them ,cleaning ,shopping and cooking but the uncle said he felt the need to clean up the crime scene and not hire a professional company? I think Paul was effected by Gloria's death.
Thank you for all your effort in covering this case. Love watching you both.
I just want to thank you both...I couldn't understand this case...after watching this...I feel I understand it better...for the first time in weeks ..I can let this go. Thank you... This conversation was very helpful.
You are a wonderful couple.
Outstanding. I learned a lot tonight. Makeup for the gentleman, which I know he will resist, will take away the shine on his face that distracts from the insightful analysis he offers with brilliant clarity. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the recommend Richard. This is Lauren and I’ll share it with John
@@HiddenTrueCrime Lauren, your good spouse Dr.
John is an exceptionally expressive communicator, translating esoteric psychological information into terms immediately comprehensible by the average viewer like yours truly. I believe his effectiveness would be enhanced if viewers were not being distracted by the shiny face. I know it’s a pain in the neck to put on makeup and it rubs the male self-image in the wrong but I think Dr. John is astute enough to see that both he and his audience would benefit from accepting the standard conditions uthat apply to being before a camera as a professional. Keep up the great work!