Hey I though this was a good video but I did want to point out that the girl was showing a lot of symptoms that might get lost, such as the constant eye movement that a lot of girls and women who have ADHD present, she also seemed to be channeling her fidgeting into her fingers during the interview. The last major thing I wanted to touch on as an adult with ADHD is that I did do very well on tests but that my struggle was always homework and remembering to do it and turn it in so even if your child with ADHD seems to be doing well on testing you should be making sure they aren't dropping homework into the dark depths of their backpack where they will only remember it the day it's supposed to be turned in or not at all.
Fellow adult-ADHD'er here and I was same way with tests. I usually faired pretty well on them, but I struggled when it came to writing papers or just remembering to do homework.
Agree, I did well on tests but homeworks and coursework were a whole different story. I was a straight a student in the UK system, in which grades were fully awarded based on exam results. But when I briefly worked with children in America and learned that they could lose marks for tardiness or not handing in homeworks, it occurred to me that in that system I'd likely have never even made it through high school. I'd probably have failed or dropped out.
I've just come across you whilst browsing around various topics on RUclips - my favourite hobby. I'm finding it difficult to watch this particular video though as the music is overwhelming and I can't concentrate. I'm wondering if this is an ADHD symptom? I am actually in the process of waiting on my assessment as an adult.
As a teenager who was diagnosed with adhd in the past couple of years, my mom (who is very adhd) originally explained to me that I might have it too by pointing out how I was looking around the room and couldn't make eye contact with her during the conversation. Which isn't to say that no eye contact is explicitly an adhd thing, but for me, it was one of the more obvious signs. It was also the first thing I noticed about the girl in the video.
It’s worth pointing out that for many of us ADHD brained folks, the inattentiveness and disorganization can manifest as hyper focus too, which can be just as debilitating as being distracted. I’m an audio engineer and I love what I do, but I can sit down at the computer at 2pm and not realize I’ve been mixing for 12 hours until my 2am bedtime alarm goes off. It means I can have massive bursts of productivity when I can sink into a task, but it also means I didn’t do anything else for 12 hours. That’s where the social, sleep, nutritional, anxiety, depression, and guilt all slide in. It’s not that I can’t focus… it’s that I can’t break focus from something I enjoy when I’ve got less fun sh*t to do!
Omg 😳 I didn't know that was actually a thing until I just read this. People get so mad at me, I miss appointments, I'm late to father's day/mamas day/nephews birthday etc... I'll look at my phone time and it'll say noon or so 🕛 and then say I'm jumping in the shower soon because it's an ocd thing I have to shower before I do ANYTHING or I don't feel good... Then what feels like maybe an hour later I'm reminded that everyone's going to bed soon... I'm like what? My very patient father of my kids-"Yes it's 9 pm I kept telling you and you don't listen" And it makes me want to break down into tears because I just lost another day with my family. It's gotten worse since I gave birth so I can't say for sure if it's related to the damage pregnancy did to my organs, or if very soon after a precancerous primary source ended up spreading to my liver and now brain (it's been a rough 2 years post partum/but worse the past year). I started feeling sick in 2016 but they told me I was a woman, a woman with anxiety, and a woman that needed to lose 20 lbs so I lost 45 instead- still felt shitty, but looked great so I stopped going to the doctor. That's when I should've kept going I guess to be taken seriously 😒 But ya so I guess for me it could be what I've always had just worsened over time or liver disease from my obgyn not watching me carefully enough or something as serious as C, my whole body is deteriorating up to the point my eyes bleed, my bones hurt, my stomach is distended where I still look full term and had horrible rib pain until I stopped eating fully. Sometimes my appetite comes back for something silly like rice and cheesecake 😭 But regardless, (sorry long random reply) if I wasn't dealing with all this other shit I wouldn't have felt so awful about something we can't control all this time.. I even have to set an alarm for when I shower otherwise i stay in for an hour. God 😢 Do you have a hard time opening mail? 📬 Letting it stack up wherever? Ruining your life lol
@@dxxl- sorry I missed this message way back when! And sorry you’re going through so much, I can only imagine!! I totally understand what you’re describing, and yeah, showers take way too long to the point that I’d rather skip a shower than risk losing time. And I don’t have an issue with paper mail, but I currently have over 600 unread text messages and thousands of unaddressed emails. So much so that just opening my email app triggers a huge anxiety wave, and stops me from actually looking at what I missed. So then I miss important info from work, events I’d want to go to, or request from the people in my life who then assume I’m ignoring them, rather than just overwhelmed. So rest easy, you are certainly not alone! My multiple therapists have all confirmed that this is 100% consistent with a non-hyperactive adhd diagnosis
@@dxxl- I’m also notoriously late to things and forget about obligations I’ve made all the time. Tracking time in general, being able to predict how long something will take, and working backwards from an end point to break down all the steps in between, and then planning how long they will all take and when to do them (executive functioning) is super hard for me, and other friends of mine with a similar diagnosis. There’s a real tendency to get lost in the moment for folks like us, and that can mean that we have an easier time “living in the now” than others, but it tends to come at the cost of being able to plan, having foresight about the short term future, and overall reliability. To others, our yourself (I definately make different choices than the people around me because I know I can’t trust my self to come through on certain things, even though it’s all for myself). When I’m experiencing depression, I describe it as tunnel vision. I get caught up in “what’s the important thing I need to do right now?” and the rest of the world fades away. A lot doesn’t happen when I’m stuck in tunnel vision mode, and I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about, where a more neurotypical reader of this comment might be like “what the hek does this guy mean by ‘tunnel vision?’”
when he was going over the video with the math vs star wars i was thinking the same sort of thing. i present more inattentive typically with some fidgetiness but if i have a hyperfixation and there's something like math to do for said hyperfixation, it's hyperfocus time baby you are not getting me out of that math problem for the next hour if hyperfocus brain had its way. i get this with drawing and sometimes writing, sometimes while trying to learn how to do something new. it all depends on what interest my brain has decided to flit to and be like 'yes. that's the one. that's the one today. nothing else exists.' there are some things that can break my focus but it's not something done easily if it's not a specific sound or something. it's a mess LOL. i have like 12 alarms and reminders for everything and sometimes i'll still miss my meds notification if i'm really really into something so i'll be late taking them by like an hour and a half. adhd is ride man. you either can't focus or you can only focus on one thing for forever and a day. nothing else. bodily functions? gimme a minute i just wanna finish this one part. 1 hr later you are somewhat dehydrated and desperately need a drink xD
@@cadbq preaching to the choir! Just now I was practicing some drums and said to myself “one more song, it’s getting late and I don’t want to bother my neighbors. Six songs later, I caught myself. Bodily functions? Hydration? Nutrition? These are just annoyances that threaten my productivity. The worst is when I’m in hyperfocus mode and really getting into my groove on something, and I have all these delicate thoughts I’m balancing, and then someone interrupts me and all those thoughts go right out the window. Once focus is broken, it can be hard to get back into it, so I often will tell family to just leave me alone while I’m working until I come out, but sometimes I’m needed right away, and I find myself getting overwhelmed by the fear of forgetting where I left off, and sometimes snap at my family when they don’t deserve it. Like, I have no ill will towards that family member, but my frustration with my own process and inability to hold a thought if I don’t deal with it NOW gets taken out on them. Anyone else struggle with that?
ADHD and Autism also tend to manifest differently with girls and young women. ♥Our Hyperactivity tends to menifest internally more often. We struggle with racing thoughts, poor self image, stress, ect. We also struggle more with things like restless leg syndrom and such as well.
Me too, she even looks similar to me as a kid. I couldn’t listen, take in information very well, and bounce around like a manic ball…nobody wanted to be near me …
The way she holds the arms of the chair and sits so stiffly and almost stone like, is something that feels to me like masking. I think this little girl has been repeatedly scolded for wriggling,or fidgeting in her chair and possibly for not making eye contact, so she has become hyper aware of her need to remain still and the tenseness and the fingers gripping into the arm of the chair really shows her inner dialogue is shouting at her on repeat - sit up straight, don't fidget, look at me when you speak...... Her eyes are very active too and I feel like it mirrors her active mind. I think in a classroom situation this young lady probably becomes very emotional and even quite tired after having to focus so hard at just sitting still let alone take in the actual conversations or lessons and provide adequate responses like she is doing so here. ADHD is a lot of effort to mask, 'normal' seems like a gift
@kellydalstok8900 Im glad her parents loved her and got her diagnosed by a doctor. Clearly they're teaching her right too as she loves the God that made her! What a cutie.
"I get A's but not A+'s" hit me right in the gifted inattentive ADHD kid. Ouch! Also the "her ADHD must be well managed because she isn't fidgeting." There's a reason inattentive type ADHD is so under-diagnosed. I was surprised you didn't mention that in reference to the little girl.
The not fidgeting in her case actually looks more adhd to my eyes - she’s as stiff as a board, and her eyes are flicking around a lot - she seems restless, like she’s preventing herself from fidgeting. She looks uncomfortable too. (But that may be projection, because she reminds me a lot of myself when I was little).
@@Wingsofchange2024because it is. It’s not disruptive to the outsider or the class. It’s disruptive to the person dealing with it. There’s most of a generation of girls completely overlooked when I was a kid. I was literally in a one on one learning disability class with a specialized teacher. I made really good test grades, turned nothing in, forgot so much stuff in instructors. She said i learned differently and nothing was wrong. Math and social studies were why I ended up in the LD class. People tend to be diagnosed based on the trouble they cause to others and girls/afab learn through social structure that we have to mask or people please like mad.
I think it's important to point out that she was actually showing a lot of signs of her ADHD especially stereotypical of girls. I think a big point of that video was to show how easy it can be to mix up a diagnosis because the boy is sitting comfortably and moving in his seat and answering more loudly whereas the girl can easily be overlooked.
In the video with the 2 kids, a huge symptom I spotted right away (as someone with ADHD who also struggles with this) is the lack of eye contact the young girl had. She couldnt maintain it with the woman asking her questions, she was consistently looking elsewhere.
also ADHD manifests different in boys and girls. With girls it is often overlooked since our society treats girls different than boys so hyperactive part is harder to spot in girls
That's something I've always struggled with. Either I always look away or I remind myself I should be looking at people's eyes, so I stare at them the entire time.
Oof the little girl is hitting me in the heart. That was me. I do want to mention that even if theyre not getting made fun of, ADHD can be isolating and a hit to self esteem all on its own. You see what others are capable of and feel dumb, lazy, weird, different, etc.
Yeah, her seemingly not having ADHD from your point of view is exactly why I wasn't diagnosed as a child and only at the 40, after 20 years of being in different kinds of therapies with not much success (and being un severe burnout twice). I nearly didn't get diagnosed because I "did great at school" and having successfully finished my uni degree , which is such an outdated factor to consider. I had the same self-esteem issues like her and was a perfectionist since I was a small child. My mother often struggled and wondered where I got that from. (Spoiler, it wss my dad, he was the undiagnosed ADHDer, he died young, but he showed all the symptoms, in retrospect). Unfortunately, many doctors have still not recognized that adhd shows up differently in AFAB people because of their socialization. We learnt to hide our symptoms ar a very early age which means that we internalize a lot of stuff. Hyperactivity often shows up at racing minds, sleeping issues, anxiety, impulsivity in buying decisions and relationships. We are often diagnosed with personality disorders, anxiety and depression first, because that's what happens after years of shame for not being good enough. (Happened in my case as well) There are many experts, for example Russell Barkley that have confirmed this. Just because our symptoms are not as visible and our grades are good doesn't mean we don't experience and suffer from them intensely. It's about time to listen to the experiences of millions of people that have the more inattentive/ internalized representation and inculde them in the diagnostic criteria. And believe them, when they say they can't function, even if it looks like they have it all together. Befause often we don't. We just push ourselves to be "normal and functioning" every day until we burn out. It's playing life on hard mode. I hope that, you, as a young psychiatrist can take this message into the medical community. We need you. It cab literally save lives. Thank you.
let me preface this by saing if any of this comes off as aggressive or condescending or mocking or whatever else negative it might seem, it's not intended to. i'm not trying to start an argument, just a discussion. i wanna make that clear because i know tone gets lost in text and also the internet can be a very stinky place sometimes because there are people who DO do that shit. as a dfab with ADHD diagnosed in their 20s, i both feel this and also have to say that while it's not perfect, strides are definitely being made, but it's not something the whole world is super privy to. my guess is because there's a weird??? stigma??? with getting help for the brain as much as the body. he does recognize early on that she is showing some symptoms while the boy really isn't. but it is harder to diagnose dfabs because it doesn't present itself as readily as it does for dmabs. and it's not uncommon for it to be misdiagnosed because the brain is an excessively individual thing and there are a lot of other mental health concerns that can present similarly as one another. we can't just do a scan of the brain and narrow it down to like 2 issues, y'know? it can narrow it down a little, maybe, and then comorbidity is a whole thing--it can be hard to get the diagnosis.
@@emmanarotzky6565 the hard truth is that for transmen, because they had the hormones and the bits and bobs of women, it's common that they present with symptoms more often associated with cis women's presentations. not that cis men can't present that way, but it is often a reminder that they weren't designated the gender that matches them.
Also getting “As” as a child means nothing. I was a “gifted” student up until 4th grade. I was in a GATE program which was some gifted kids program in the 90s. Eventually I became a C average student. I barely graduated high school with C and B. I think I only got one A in Spanish but that’s because I’m a native speaker. I got into university but barely graduated with mostly Cs and Bs lol. I feel like so much can change from a child to adulthood. Even if you get good grades as a child that doesn’t mean it will always be that way. For the longest time I felt so dumb. Really dumb. But I guess when I consider the positives, that I even made it to university and I graduated at all. That’s an accomplishment right
Adult with ADHD here: At first I thought the loud music was intentional to show what it's like to not be able to tune out background noise and focus on the important stuff. My brain interprets every sound as important and necessary to attend to. And yes, it's distracting. I can tell when my meds wear off because suddenly I can hear the filter of our aquarium and it's SO LOUD, whereas during my Vyvanse hours I almost completely tune it out. All that to say, although the loud music was a mistake, it could also function as an empathy exercise for non-ADHD people if you add a screen caption to that effect.
The music was so distracting for me too! It was so loud I ended up having to fast forward some. Vyvanse is great, it makes me a functional human for like 10 hrs
OMG these comments are killing me and also reassuring. I stopped the video to know if it was coming from there or an other tab (true ADHD activity there). And I was thinking "Why is it so loud???! I can bearly hear him talk. Is the screencaption mentionning that as an ADHD symptom?". And here I am in the comments section with other ADHDer "complaining"/sharing the struggle. Thank y'all for sharing BTW.
@@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose Thanks for this comment, I thought I was going to have to bail on this video. Came to the comments to mention the music, but knew in my heart it had already been said. ❤
Thank you so much for making a video on ADHD. It's incredibly sad to witness the little girl so uncomfortable in herself, which to me almost seems like is the beginnings of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Already at such a young age she appears to be hypercritical of herself and assumes people dislike her or find her to be a burden. Something I always wonder is if RSD is just a natural symptom of our condition or if we tend to develop it given the treatment we receive from those around us, frequently being chastised for things we either do not understand or literally cannot help. I remember reading a study that said by the time a child with ADHD is 12 they will on average have received over 20,000 more negative comments about themselves than their neurotypical peers, making it quite easy to understand why so many of us struggle with our self worth.
Probably because of the combination of the negative comments, comparing yourself to others where you fail, on top of the emotional dysregulation making it harder to cope with.
not to mention girls have weirdass standards to live up to, so says society. not to mention, and i find this odd, in my personal experience (idk how true it is on a grand scale) but little girls with adhd are more likely to kinda get pushed into the cracks like her whereas little boys with adhd are accepted more often, depending on the type and the severity. usually class clowns or something of that ilk. that's an interesting thought tbh. my guess is the rsd is a mix of both. it's there naturally but the amount of negativity exacerbates it drastically. mine is primarily inattentive type (and i bounce my legs a lot while i'm doing things), so i didn't often get a whole lot of comments but i'm p sure i exhibit a level of rsd
Pretty much what everyone said here already Emotional Dysregulation, told so many times you were doing it wrong. Dressed wrong, hair is wrong don't do it that way stop talking, why aren't you talking, is something wrong with you, forgetting your phone or something important for school. Using the excuses of "I don't know" or "I forgot" , which just get you more in trouble. From a young age. It sticks and it builds... Sorry that was pretty fresh. I just finished a book on ADHD and Autism and the chapters on childhood, education and relationships really cut deep. Feeling a bit fragile 😅
It might look like it's going well for her but that might not be the case, AFAB children are pressured more from a young age to mask their symptoms so it often doesn't present the same way as it does for AMAB children. Part of why they're more likely to be diagnosed at a later age
I identify more with the little girl than the boy. It is like she doesn't seek external validation, and spends most of her time internally focused. I feel like she thinks she's in trouble and on the spot and always jumping through hoops for other people. I want her to know she is probably very cool, very smart, and very mindful of others, but she exists in a world of people who don't think as much. She's sensitive and I hope she grew into her own skin powerfully and happily.
Programmer w/ ADHD here, and one of the things that I think doesn't get talked about enough is that there are quite a few benefits/upsides to ADHD, it's not all bad. The fellow ADHD programmers I've known are often the BEST programmers in a group. ADHD is a pain in many ways, but ADHDers are often more curious, exploratory, creative, intelligent, entrepreneurial, etc., it's not all bad!
I think programming can be a great environment for ADHD. You get alot of feedback engaging in that kind of work. Every incremental step you make while you code either works or does not creating a good feedback loop to stay engaged in the task.
Civil engineer here, and same. I swear my ADD is why I can think of unique solutions and fairly accurately brainstorm the possible outcomes. That said, without drugs I am a dysfunctional mess who cannot take care of her own basic needs.
Completely agree. I got diagnosed quite late in life so have kinda figured out how to work with my add without meds. It definitely makes me more curious and explorative because I find specific interests, whether they are long lasting or just my random interest for any given week, or often quite intense so I literally find everything I possibly can about it. I’ve learnt a lot of stuff from all of it
i wouldn't necessarily say more intelligent but i would say there are the benefits. when we fixate on something, we really fixate on it. like i get that. we will go down the deepest pits to get every single scrap of information possible. i'd say it's something akin to a special interest with autism (both ADHD and autism have a lot where they present super similarly). and while hyperfocus can drown out the rest of the world to a negative effect, it can also be positive, if you can figure out how to manage it. hyperfocusing on a task just... yeah you might forget to go pee for an hour but you have gotten SO MUCH done.
we also work really well under pressure. because it's basically all we do. if there's a deadline soon and a big workload where other people would crack under pressure, you can count on someone with adhd to deliver. we can go on for days without much rest if needed.
The number of children with similar conditions as the little girl and the number of parents that think ADHD, depression, anxiety and many other disorders are just excuses from "the lazy people of the woke generation" is what makes me think this world is completely doom
I'm formally diagnosed adhd and asd level one. I would say beware of thinking someone is doing well or 'mild' because they can succeed academically or can sit still in a chair. Esp girls. I was a straight a/a* student and was conscientious and polite. However, in primary school I was always getting into trouble for being disorganized, late, not having done homework, etc. I'd be stood in front of the class and yelled at and shamed. It was assumed I was capable and just wasn't thinking hard enough, or was lazy or thoughtless. No one understood I was trying my hardest and actually needed some support and guidance around these tasks. I'd also be yelled at and sent out of class diff times when I thought I was being engaged and a good eager student but I had interrupted or overenthusiastically spoken out of turn. By secondary school I kind of avoided getting in serious trouble because my grades were so good and I was polite and not disruptive, I avoided annoying people by becoming really quiet, but I was still constantly told off for things like not doing homework, being late, being lazy. On one occasion I was stood at the front of my form class and yelled at by a sub teacher who was standing in that week, in front of everyone, told I'd never succeed in the adult world or be employable, because I was late each day. I was often bullied and had major self esteem issues. At home I struggled with my room, clothes and hygiene. I was constantly overwhelmed and paddling like mad beneath the surface to cope, constantly exhausted and trying so hard to meet expectations. I tried to commit suicide at around 16 by overdose. But hey, I was a good student and a prefect and didn't give people bother, so not so bad right? Even as an adult, I got two first class honours degrees and impressed employers in jobs, so all sounds fine, right? Except its not. The longest job I ever held before burning out was 2 years and that was a part time job. Only managed full time for one year, then I was so burnt out I couldn't function or get out of bed. Household chores and finance management and dealing with appointments etc is a constant struggle to keep head above water and I continue to need support with all those. My self esteem is shot because I often feel like a failure as a human being because the 'easy' things are so hard. When in hyperfocus, I'll forget to eat, drink, rest, for entire days. I only manage to work a few hours a week atm, which is an improvement as I was out of work for many years. I have no idea how to access meds as I was diagnosed by a psychologist and referred back to gp, neither of who can prescribe meds and I don't think the gp sees it as anything serious or needing treatment because I'm an adult now and from the outside it looks like I'm doing OK, and sure I managed this far. Anyway, I guess my point is that we can't decide how severe a person's situation is based off of how disruptive they are, or how visible it is, to people around them, or because they succeed in some areas. It can be having a much deeper impact than what you see on the surface.
Your primary school teachers were crazy. Even neurotypical kids in that age group don’t do those things by themselves. When a kid goes to school on time or remembers to do their homework and bring it to class, it’s because of their parents. I got to school whenever my mom managed to drive me there, and I did my homework and turned it in because my mom looked at my planner with me, made sure I did the homework, and then made sure it was in my backpack before school the next day. It would be so inappropriate to blame a kid for their parents being disorganized, just as (I now realize as an adult) it was inappropriate for my teachers to praise me for my mom’s work in making sure I had everything ready on time. I didn’t even pay attention in class, I just got good grades because I happened to have an organized mom. But that’s still better than giving someone bad grades or full on yelling at them in class for not being born to organized parents!
And the lateness thing… until you’re old enough to drive, being late to school is on your parents. If your parents are good at timing things you’ll get to school on time, and if not, you won’t. None of that is because of you.
@@emmanarotzky6565 my parents tried every way they could to help me organized and without that I'd have got into much more bother. They were always organized, on time themselves and really really really tried many things to help me. This is not on them. You don't sound like someone who has parented a child with adhd and dyspraxia. Whose child might need 10 mins to get dressed one day but the next will need an hour to find socks that doesn't send them into melt down. Who you might provide with perfect sleep hygiene and night routines but they still won't fall asleep til 3am and then can't get uup in the morning no matter how early and often you try to wake them. Many, many other examples. Your comments seem to deny the disabilities and differences that exist AND join in parent blaming and shaming at the same time. My parents were wonderful, engaged and organized. They were old school with old school values. My brother, who didn't always get as good grades as me as I performed better in exams, was every teachers favourite and was made head boy. Some children have genuine difficulties with these tasks even though they and their parents try hard. In fact in many cases they and their parents will be trying and working 10 times harder than others. Just cos it's an invisible disability doesn't mean it's not real. We're doing all this stuff like we're playing the game in hard mode. And our parents are too, all the while being judged for it.
@@emmanarotzky6565 in primary school a lot of the things teachers yelled at me for were organization tasks that happened in school, responsibilities students were given, and things my other classmates did manage to do that I habitually did not. I'd have the messy desk. I'd keep forgetting to take my lunch box home til things were growing in it. I'd forget to take home or give parent notes. I'd still be engrossed in a task while the others had followed instructions and tidied up before break. I kept leaving stray items of clothing in the changing room when getting ready for PE, and list goes on. I'd be late in class after lunch. These were all things that technically took place within school hours, under teacher supervision. These were often things I got yelled at and pulled in front of the class for. Our parents weren't there to help us. The other children managed but I didn't.
My son has ADHD and this one made me cry. He never gets invited to things and we live in a small town, so that sucks. He is a super kid though. And I am sure he'll grow up to be an amazing adult. He's funny and smart.
Perhaps look into Special Okympics activities where he can have opportunities to socialize through sports. If you have a parks and recreation program for individuals with special needs, it may be helpful. Blessings to you and your son.
I read that girls exhibit ADHD much differently than boys and so are rarely diagnosed until they are much older. They are a lot more reserved and controlled because of societal conditioning.
I think its so important to explain that ADHD is not the inability to focus, but the inability to regulate that focus. When I was young and being assessed by psychologists they would ask if u had trouble focusing and my mind would go to how I could read so much that I would stay up all night not being able to put the book down, or how I could draw for hours and forget to eat or get up to go to the bathroom. So I would answer that, yes, I could focus. mean while I couldn't focus on school work or chores.
Appreciate bringing more awareness to Adults with ADHD. I was diagnosed at 10 years old and taken off of medication in college because it was an "adolescent disorder". It set me back about five years on getting an education. I'm back to being managed through therapy and medications and it has absolutely changed by marriage and my career for the better.
i only got diagnosed recently bc adhd manifests differently for girls/women. would have made my mom's life so much easier had they thought to test me as a kid. i could relate to that little girl so much though she was much better with describing it but i had similar experiences as her. i would love to see an updated video discussing those differences because i feel like it was greatly overlooked in this video.
As an adult woman who was diagnosed with ADHD at 42, watching this was sooooo triggering. My brother was diagnosed as a child so his behavior was more understood. Because I presented differently as a girl, mine was missed and I was blamed by my parents for the moodiness, constantly losing things, and not being able to focus at school. I had poor grades and learned that doing the homework could raise my grade because at test time my mind would go completely blank. The sense of loneliness she described and low self-esteem issues have been present my entire life. Now as a psychotherapist I can understand these issues on a deeper educational level, and at least I can help my clients to hopefully avoid feeling how I always have.
I think that's what broke my heart the most about this. I was recently diagnosed at 39 and that was very much me at that age, it was not well managed and diagnosed though, it was an extreme guilt complex because of the struggle to not do it that was why controlled. May not be the same for her, I hope its not, but emotional intelligence made it worse for me too, I learned to cope with it, to hide it well but internally knew something was off and beat myself up every day for not doing what others could and saw myself always as a burden.
I was the exact same. At 33 I'm working really hard to try scrape away the mask and the guilt I hold on to. Finding the ADHD community has been a lifeline. I had never connected with people like that before. And people telling me their stories which mirror my own. It's absolutely incredible.
being aware of your emotions and the logic (or lackthereof) behind them can be such a double edged sword. on one hand, you know how to manage it when you must. on the other hand, that not only makes it easy to bottle things, but you also end up feeling shitty about things. like... when i know there's no real good reason for me to be as wildly upset about something as i am in the moment, i get even more upset with myself on top of it because like... i'm aware that i'm being extra and this is uncalled for. or if i'm crying over like... idk a dropped gummy bear i just think "i am absolutely distraught and there is no reason. it's just a single gummy bear." it's so easy to beat yourself up with being emotionally aware of yourself
@@cadbq this is is too true too. Or emotions have become too much I can dissociate. But when it happens during a serious discussion with husband and he thinks I fell asleep during the chat but I am there but separate. Is awful 😞 and he thinks I don't care and I try to explain after but I don't want to make excuses.
@@lolly5657 i always say that illnesses aren't an excuse, but they can be an explanation. it doesn't necessarily excuse whatever negative thing has happened but it helps the other person understand where you're at and that you aren't doing it on purpose to be shitty. dissociation is wild. my boyfriend once described it as walking around like you have a vr headset on. small dissociation is normal--driving to work and can't remember getting from point a to point b but you sure made it? a form of dissociation that's very normal. but mental illness can super exacerbate it or make it more frequent than it should be. as someone within your peers (i just turned 30--it's super weird), i'll say now. it's ok to explain it. it's ok to say you were dissociating. you can apologize that it happened and explain you hadn't meant to come off that way. and you can always try to work out whatever was being talked about. it also might help him understand and recognize it better in the future, assuming he doesn't realize you're dissociating. during a dissociative spell, it can also be helpful to state that you're dissociating so if it sounds like you don't care, that's not the case. my boyfriend and i both have dissociative spells for various reasons but we've worked out enough that i know it's not that he doesn't care. half sorry for text wall, but not enough not to leave it as a text wall LOL
Omg diagnosed with ADHD at 33 and this is breaking my heart. My chest is so tight. The pain and the memories of overthinking even then. I wish no one ever had to feel this way!
As someone approaching 40 who wasn't diagnosed until recently, I have to say that I'm glad awareness is going up and this is being caught sooner for people. Realizing that I've spent half my life struggling extremely hard because nobody recognized what the problem was led me to experience serious regret and grief imagining what could have been.
I’m amazed by your read on her, do you still feel this way about it? This is why we were under-diagnosed. 😢 I don’t think she could have been crying out for help more. “Doing well” by other standards is not enough and not all of us are figetey. I think the “emotions” were just things that sure was told about herself. I know I’m projecting but how do we fix this diagnosis gap?
We stop basing diagnosis only on how it impacts the people around us and look at the struggle the child is having. I have a self esteem the size of at tiny cricket and everything squishes it all the time due to my school life. My mom was sad I didn’t make friends well, and I was moody. I’m very much my mother’s daughter. So she was amazing with me
Awesome video. Glad to see one on ADHD. I was diagnosed only last year at the age of 26. Women are so under diagnosed as so many people don't know about it presenting differently in males and females. I loved that you went through footage, explained ADHD and went really deep into the topic. Really informative and interesting video 😊 looking forward to seeing more!
Me: I can tell this is going to be an extremely informative video that will probably answer some of the questions I had about myself. Also Me: *fast forwards 50% of the video*
(I have ADHD). I remember in forth grade i had to sit by myself next to the board because i always lost my glasses so i couldn't see good and i would just talk to the people around me on and on
As a parent of a child with ADHD that tested as gifted but could not read or write in grade 2. His behaviour management isolated him. His work not looking like other kids work made him so embarrassed. He was NEVER invited to birthday parties. It crushed me. ADHD has such a huge stigma and teachers just label them bad kids. Well, my son is gifted, he loves caring for kids who are younger or need special help, he loves volunteering. But ADHD and the unexpected behaviours and impulse control challenges can lead kids to really dark places. They are desperate for friends but the ‘good kids’ avoid him. The ‘bad kids’ accept him because they push boundaries, too. And he’s so wound up and excited by the prospect of friends he does silly things to be liked and part of the group. Adolescents with ADHD have an extra tricky time. Thank you for showing the real diagnostic criteria because everyone and their brother thinks the have ADHD through self diagnosis and it diminishes what these kids go through.
I really liked the video at first, but what you said, in the end, made me really mad. She seems to be doing well? She´s getting bullied, has low self-esteem, and doesn´t have friends, BUT she is doing well at school and isn´t really fidgety. Like THAT is what matters. Who cares? Her voice was cracking when she was speaking. Like she was gonna cry any second. Her experience at school is terrible, but she has good grades so it´s all right. I hate this. This is why I and many others were diagnosed so late. Because we did well in school and nobody cared that we felt terrible. Since when are the child´s grades more important than the child? This mentality of not caring about the person is also visible in non-ADHDiers talking about it. Or the DSM-5 itself. It tells you how the person's behavior affects everybody around, but now how it affects the person themselves. How devastating it really is. That is why people can´t sympathize. Cause medical professionals focus more on the symptoms that are inconvenient or annoying to OTHERS, but not on the ones that would ACTUALLY improve the affected person's life.
It was my boss (a bank manager) that suggested to me about 10 years ago, "Have you ever considered getting tested for ADHD?" It completely changed my life in such a positive way. I thank him for going out on a limb and sharing his honesty. My quality of life has soared, since doing so. Testing was a grueling and heart-wrenching process. But it did change my life no doubt. I went on to achieve performance awards at work, the first of which was "Most improved". LOL But I'd never wanted to be stuck behind a desk. So I am no longer in banking. Suddenly, the world opened up with so many possibilities! I felt empowered to explore what I actually wanted to do. I felt validated! I wasn't this broken, misbehaved, or stupid person. I now had the courage, forethought and determination to go after MY dreams, instead of listening to what I should be doing. Today, I fully embrace my quirky self, I feel proud that I have surpassed the expectations of some of my teachers in school. Einstein and Richard Branson, are known to have ADHD, so I'm capable of success too! That's not to say it's all good. I have trouble fitting in, but never allowed myself to be bullied. On the contrary, one of the benefits of being distracted is recognizing what is going on around you. If it's not good (as in someone else being mistreated), I simply cannot help but respond to stop it. I've been this way since I was a child. I often ended up in the school office for fighting, but it was only if I noticed a bully picking on someone else, when they didn't think anyone was watching, but I saw it! I can't excuse violence, but I could never tolerate bullying either. I'm grown now, and like to think there are better ways to explain things.😊 As for ADHD, I have learned to look at the positives of my diagnosis, because dwelling on the negative does little in life to fix them. I hope one day, it will be seen as I see, it's as much of a gift, as it is a deficit ❤
I just wanted to second Umichansan's comment. Your videos are always lovely, and you break things down in way that's both digestible and engaging; it'd be great to see you revisit the topic of ADHD with more knowledge & insight on how differently it can present in cis girls/women and trans folk who were assigned-female-at-birth, or otherwise raised & socialised as girls. Though it's not information included in the DSM (yet!), there's been a growing awareness about it over the last decade -- something that's been helping a lot of people receive adult diagnoses.
YES i second this! It hurts to see new young psychiatrist make the same mistakes (overlooking women/girls) as the old generation of psychiatrist. So much suffering was caused by misinformation
Thank you for making this video. I was recently diagnosed as an adult. I agree about the loud music - I found it distracting and was glad it stopped. Would love to see more content on ADHD, particularly the mental health issues that often come along with it.
Also just input. You said she was managing well. She is a girl with ADHD we are so good at hiding. My teacher only noticed my selective mutism and was concerned with that. Although i was never tested back then. Girls tend to be quiet, daydreamers find it incredibly hard to concentrate, its painful sometimes. And emotional Dysregulation... Although that's not part of the assessment process. In addition, girls can do well in school, I've heard so many stories from people not getting diagnosed due to them being too smart, doing to well in school, having a master's. The thing is with attention if you really like something you will really like it and work at it. May be hard to pull you away.
Thanks for this vid Dr Syl! I am now 40 and still deal with ADHD. Was diagnosed as a kid and was medicated but then eventually "grew out of it". Spoiler: I really didn't. I just lost the hyperactive side, but struggled with learning, impulse control, forgetfulness, etc. I am finally going back to a Dr for a new examination, treatment and RX to help me get back some more control and hopefully lessen the symptoms. This is still a wildly underestimated and misunderstood condition, which is often brunt of jokes, or we are told "you just need to focus/apply yourself" etc. So, the more awareness with common sense breakdowns like you did are great and much needed! Also... that lil girl is so adorable and I just want to hug her and tell her how awesome and smart she is!!!
I was recently diagnosed as an adult and was hoping you had a video on ADHD, so glad you do. I appreciate your videos and could listen to you all day long!
I think this is a great video but could have done more to highlight the lack of diagnosis in children who have high IQ, also the importance of nurture (environment and culture) on developing personality, insecurities, habits etc. These are important factors that might hide or exacerbate symptoms presented in the DSM. For example, girls are generally taught to be more self-analytical while boys are encouraged that boys will just be boys -not everyone raises their kids this way but I definitely still see this happening in young children. I wasn’t diagnosed till around 26 years old and was told I was pretty darn textbook, except that I never had problems in school or making friends until I reached college age and several life events also affected my anxiety which also impacted the adhd a lot.
Clinical psych student from UNC-Chapel Hill in NC, USA here. I've been binging your videos. They're extremely helpful and super interesting. Cheers, Dr. Syl!
I’m 23 and I got diagnosed a couple years ago, my mum always said I had it but I wasn’t too bothered about a diagnosis (just a personal thing) but eventually wanted to find out if I had it, or was just actually ignorant and lazy 😂😂 I struggle a lot with the attention deficit side of things. As I’ve gotten older the hyperactivity hasn’t completely gone, but it’s definitely lessened to an extent. Mostly in the sense that sometimes I recognise that I can’t fidget for example, so I can kinda keep it at bay but it almost makes me angry 😂😂 I really struggle with recognising that things are issues too, it’s almost like I forget to care very often or can’t quite see why things are such a big deal. But the main thing is really struggling to either start or finish things. The only time this isn’t an issue is if it’s like a film or series of a video game, something I’m interested or my left field intense interest for that given week. For example last month I got really really really into cooking, I bought new knives and pots and pans and shit, now I couldn’t be less interested. It’s a real struggle that I don’t think a lot of people recognise and I’ve been criticised a lot over the years for the way I think and behave, but tbh whilst sometimes I frustrate even myself, I’m happy with the way I am, there’s been a few consistent interests I’ve had in my life and my complete disinterest in pretty much anything else has kinda allowed me to get into a tunnel vision mode and I’ve achieved some really cool goals in areas I’m interested in. I do encourage anyone who THINKS they may have it to get tested, it helps a lot understanding why you do the things you do and I’ve seen a few people I know who have now been diagnosed, criticise themselves endlessly because they don’t understand why. Any way waffled a bit but thanks for the video 😊
I'm an old premed and I love your energy and want to share it with you as I embark on my medical path :) Let's all be the best we can be for our patients!!
I really enjoyed this video and the demonstration of the signs in kids. It was interesting that you said she didn't seem to show too many symptoms, I inferred from you that it could indicate good symptom managing. I was very much like this little girl around adults and I've always been emotionally intelligent- I realize now that I was kind of an expert at blending in. My brothers ADHD was caught because of his behaviour issues, but mine slipped by until I was 29 years old getting treatment for C-PTSD. That is SOOOO late, but now knowing and applying therapy techniques my life has greatly improved. I hope this little girl experiences a wonderful life and doesn't let her diagnosis define or limit her. 🥰
I was diagnosed with ADHD and motor tics in my late 20s. I'm now 44. I remember in grade school, I would walk around the very outside perimeter of the classroom, fully realizing that it was an unusual thing to do, but unable to stop myself doing it - it was just very satisfying. Homework didn't just feel difficult, it felt IMPOSSIBLE. I would frequently be awake until 2AM, just gripping my pencil and sitting in front of a blank page until the time remaining before class reduced to the point where I could JUST get enough done to turn in an assignment... So at around 2-3AM, I would suddenly have a breakthrough, start writing, and wouldn't stop for 2 hours, crash, sleep for 2-3 hours, get up and turn the assignment in, getting a decent grade. It was bizarre. One nightz I made a 14" tall castle out of clay, with detailed bricks, grass texture, 2 towers with detailed roofs and windows, because my project was late and the LAST day given by my teacher was that day. My teacher didn't even believe I had done it, and thought my mom did everything, yes, she helped a tiny bit, but all the obsessive details and absurd size were my own (other students houses were less than half that size). My mom was also a high school art teacher, so I was WELL familiar with how to work with clay, paint, drawing, etc. Impossible to do small boring things, then the hyperfocus hits and I massively over-do it.
I honestly related to the little girl a lot. I was just diagnosed about a month ago and started my first try at meds 3 days ago. When asked questions, she gave very non-committal answers. She would say things like "I don't know," or "sometimes." I've always been so terrified of making the "wrong" decision, so I often take forever to decide or dont decide at all. I don't know if thats related to ADHD or not, but I related to her so much lol
As someone hoping to head into medicine in 2023 as a mature age student with an interest in mental health, I really appreciate all the informative content! 🇦🇺
For someone who only just discovered I have adhd at 50, I wish I had known decades ago so I could get treatment. Probably isn’t a good idea to have music playing in the background. It was hard to listen to you even though I was hanging off every word. Love your work. Greetings from Brisbane.
I got really emotional during this because that little girl was me 17 years ago, like I presented exactly the same and now I’m 22 and struggle so much. I finally got a diagnosis at 20 years old, and am now medicated, but somethings will never leave me, like social interactions that are painfully awkward at times, difficulty fitting in, and havingg issues with work and self esteem. It’s painful, and seriously debilitating at times. And being a girl, I was pretty good academically, so I got my RN degree at 20 yrs but now in my nursing career I’m struggling significantly with task management and decision making and so I see myself as a failure and I am often pointed out by my superiors for many errors, a lot quite insignificant. Now getting the help I need to improve on this, but all this to say that children like this need more ressources and support to really thrive as adults ❤
I was like that little girl. My mom said if she had known about it back then, she would have gotten me treated. My middle son has it severely, I made sure to get him help because there were so many more resources available.
I just want to say how cool it is that you asked people who don't like the video to give feedback. I'm sure lots of people would just move on as well, but who knows. Also, I so relate to that little girl...
Haven't finished the video yet but wanted to give some feedback before I forget. The music around 3.30-4.00 is around the same level as your voice and can be a little distracting. Is that a new intro with the cartoon animation? I really like it.
Ahh sorry about that! I got some new speakers and the audio isn’t well calibrated. Will use my headphones next time!! You’re not the only one to point it out Simon. Thanks for the feedback!
this video actually made me cry and think about all the things I had and have to deal with. having adhd and bipolar, not to mention a bunch of other health problems, has effect my life in too many ways. as an adult(33) im still learning and struggling. this video makes me think of all the things this girl is gonna have to go thru(having adhd) in life and it hurts. its great when you get diagnosed, but it doesn't mean it necessarily helps. understanding yourself as an adult is good but when you're a kid sometimes labels make thing worse.
I think the most frustrating thing with ADHD is the lack of knowledge all around even though there is so much new information we have learned the last couple of decades. Combine this with the lack of people that actually do assessments and you get a system with multiple year long waiting periods where it becomes almost impossible to even get diagnosed. It feels very strange when there are ~5 places in your area that are supposed experts that do the diagnosis and every single one of them has completely inaccurate on their web sites. I believe I have been trying for four years now without ever even getting on any wait list. So unfortunately for lot of us self diagnosing becomes some kind of a necessity. It will not get us the proper treatment, though.
It's the same shit in Switzerland. "But you were good in school and have a good life". Well yes thank you, there are many successful adhders out there. 🙈😆
Yeah, like... I have had issues with inattention, lack of time control, explosive emotional outbursts, extreme anxiety, executive paralysis, etc., etc., etc., for my entire life. I was reprimanded by authority figures for losing my temper in elementary school, middle school, high school, university, and at work in my thirties. I turned in every major university assignment at or over the wire after hours and hours and hours and hours sat scrolling through fanfiction in the computer lab, waiting for the situation to get urgent enough that I could make myself start working on the actual assignment. I had NO friends in elementary school, about two in middle school, two or three in high school, and gradually more and more after that as I got better at masking and finding like-minded souls. I was never invited to parties. I was never cool. I had weird facial tics that made people think there was something seriously wrong with me. I talked too much, interrupted teachers, put off major homework assignments till the night before and minor ones till two minutes before they were due. I have spent whole three-day weekends doing sweet fuck-all but scrolling websites and reading fanfic, gorging on junk food and not talking to a single soul. I didn't even START to get a grip on any of this until the supervisor who chewed me out in my thirties told me I "needed to get a grip on my anxiety or whatever" and I actually started looking into mental disorders. And then, a few years later, I read how ADHD manifested differently in many women, saw that I had almost all the symptoms of the inattentive type, started looking into management strategies, and found my whole world changing. My sister is diagnosed and medicated. She and my dad had the same symptoms I do, but much worse: executive paralysis, picking up and dropping tons of hobbies, inability to keep a house clean, explosive tempers. My brothers have some of the symptoms, too, but my sister and I got them the worst. I could go for a formal diagnosis, and would love to do it somedaym but it would be expensive and time-consuming and complicated, and the only actual benefit (since I'm not seeking medication) would be validation. But since I don't have that piece of paper, I can't really talk about the challenges I experience (and am overcoming) without people like this guy being like, "NO ONE can diagnose themselves. Unless a trained psychiatrist tells you you have it, and you have a signed piece of paper telling you you have it, you don't have it." Like... if I get a sore throat and a headache and start coughing and sneezing, and my symptoms persist for 7-10 days, I don't TECHNICALLY have a cold, right? No physician diagnosed it, so there's no way to know for sure. But the symptoms are there. Sure, it could be allergies, or COVID, or something totally different, but given the symptoms and the circumstances it's not unreasonable to assume it's a cold. Sorry for writing a book. I have a feeling OP wouldn't take this particularly seriously, but I wanted to get it out anyway. :P
ADHD at its best: The louder string music started to play at around 2:30, I realized that my focus was dying down quicker than I could follow mentally, and I could only manage to continue watching until 2:50 because that's when it became completely overwhelming for my brain. Maybe because of focus, attention, auditory sensory issues mixed together, but the dopamine that I had going into this (because yay, learning more about my lifelong disability) stopped right then and there - and now I cannot bring myself to continue watching the video. Literally the more I try to motivate myself to do it, my brain pushes it further away from me.
ADHD’er and autistic from Greenland here. First of all thank you for your videos. I come from from a giant family, ALL with ADHD and/or autism (my children as well). Our observation and experiences tells us the main problem is not having ADHD. It’s the perception of how people are supposed to be, the social structures are suitable for neurotypical people, there’s not enough tolerance to the fact that we inevitably are all different and can contribute with a vast variety of different skills and ways of thinking and acting. My favorite people are neurospicy individuals that can offer different perspectives of life.
My girlfriend and family members are the only people in the world I don't rigidly mask with, and it's just night and day how different it is to be myself. The vast majority of people I know professionally think I'm a rock-hard uppity-tight bitch with no sense of humor, because if I relax enough to joke with people I always start talking a little too fast and smiling a little too wide and see their faces change and watch them step back... so I stay very reserved when I'm interacting with people socially, so as to be ABLE to interact with people socially. Everyone who knows me at home knows that I'm silly and giggly and weird and cuddly and sing weird songs to the cats and chase the dog around the house and scream and yell and stamp my feet and kick things when I'm frustrated, and at work it's like, "There goes McGonagall..." A big part of why women are underdiagnosed, probably...
As an adult with inattentive adhd I had difficulty listening to this video because of the background music! I love your videos...ive learnt a lot. I work with high school children with autism and intellectual disabilities...
When the girl was talking about 'giving ' her mom 'attitude' she was speaking in a way with much more emotional maternity. She understood why she felt that way. A lot of time we take children to have just surface level and eradicate emotional states.
here the interpretation is more=hyperactivity = activity as movement - but activity can aswell mean contracting(active muscles but no movement) or stretching. at 12:30 you can see her pinching her index with the nail of her thumb - dont overlook these thing. would be good to see the legs too. i do a lot of pretzeling of my toes/rubbing my toes in my shoe/pressure to the sole/clenching of the toes or crossing legs then putting pressure. Sometimes when i sit i rest most of my weight just one big toe or do toe stretches. Last week some chatty repairman was here and i couldnt eject so i was leaning on the wall with one arm (lookes casual from the outside) but i put alot of pressure on a small area of the hand/forearm/elbow and the back muscles are active (instead of casual leaning where you just touch a bit) just to survive the chat.
"Just to survive the chat" - never read anything like this before when reading about adhd symptoms but I experience and struggle with the exact same thing.
Hi!! I love your videos- especially this one since I was diagnosed with adult adhd. That said, please consider tuning down the music as it’s hard to drown that out over your speech. Thank you!
Thank you for another great video! I loved the introduction of the critieras in the beginning but i lacked information on how adhd presents differently in males and females. The girl in the video for example showed more of the symptoms related to females with adhd and these symptoms are often overlooked as symptoms of anxiety and depression instead of the more internal hyper activity that usually presents in girls/females.
Another note on the little girl with ADHD.. For me when I was young I was punished a lot for my hyperactive behaviors, I also got bullied a lot, so at a young age I learned that there are situations where I have to 'be on my best behavior' which meant to quiet myself. I think that's what's happening with this girl. If I was somewhere for long enough eventually my ability to quiet myself would vanish, so if a psychologist only spoke to me for one hour every 2 weeks there isn't a big chance they'd get to see my ADHD symptoms on full display, only my family really got to see it day in day out, even at school I was able to bottle it up and then once I'd come home all that pressure would release and I'd show those signs of hyperactivity. This definitely is more true for women with ADHD, we get shamed for our behavior far more and being loud, 'wild' and very active isn't generally encouraged. For young girls I'd say the biggest signs that they have ADHD are; A messy room, avoiding homework if possible, talking a lot/very fast, cycling through interests/hobbies very rapidly. Things like fidgeting, aggression, running around/being a wild child.. Those are the things people think of immediately when you say ADHD, but those are not as commonly seen or noticed in girls. And suppressing that to fit other people's expectations definitely catches up to you later in life.
I'm undiagnosed due to adhd diagnosis costing an arm and a leg in Australia rn, but I experience every single one of those symptoms in a highly pronounced way. I'm a HD average student and a huge perfectionist. The diagnosis was missed when I was a child because, as a girl, I was very inattentive and shy. Life with adhd is really hard tbh regardless of how well we do.
I have ADHD and the music was a bit loud and made it hard to concentrate,kinda funny but I really want to hear your information. Thanks love your channel 👍🏻
So when my stepmom noticed that I had issues with speech, concentration, sitting still for a long time. She found with some structure, routine and occupational therapy the obvious behaviours sorted themselves out. But I was still very impulsive and impatient, and I struggled to make friends with my peers through out school. I found that I could learn well within a structured and calm classroom environment, but no matter how hard I tried, studying at home or do any homework was a nightmare for me. So the grades would average out. I know being a girl means I would not have been considered for ADHD as a kid and my parents had no clue what it was. My behaviour was just considered to be different and sometimes unfavourable, but generally who I was. I would constantly lose things and I was super clumsy. I would even leave my chronic meds at home before going on holiday. I do have an underactive thyroid but the tests generally always come out as being within range. So it’s not likely to be Every time I’ve tried to study, no matter how interested I am in the topic, it’s like running up a hill. It requires so much energy, I struggle to understand what I’m expected to do/say, and I often end up having reread the same text over and over again. Sometimes I move forward in course material to the practical stuff, struggle a little and then go back to the theory, do some practical and then go to the theory, til I’ve finished the course.
Funny how you said don't lose their phone. I was a kid who always lost my phone 😂. Once it was in the compartment of the car door. Forgot I put it there and had to get a new phone. Months later found it.... Also makes me thing that maybe my phone was not stolen during my school trip to Germany 🤦🏼♀️ and just put it down. Google nest is the best for when phone was lost around the house.
Adult with ADHD and I still have urges to climb things when it's not appropriate I just don't do it cause ill be embarrassing. Hope I'm not the only one
how come in the 100 or so kids that were in my grade there wasn't a single\ one that displayed these symptoms? There were dumb kids, bored kids (me), antisocial hoodlums, but no "having seizers watching anime" kids, no noticeably autistic kids and no one with an expressed ADHD symptoms.?
I just discovered your channel today, but you better believe I subscribed! This was really interesting. I am an adult with ADHD, anxiety and depression, but wasn't diagnosed with it until I was about 30 years old. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had my parents gotten me diagnosed with any of it as a child. Great video!
Side note: I'm friends with one of my former bosses, who, a full decade later, told me she thought I was doing things on purpose to get out of doing my work, but I genuinely wasn't aware that I was doing anything wrong. It was definitely the ADHD manifesting in destructive ways that I didn't understand at the time.
I have actual quite severe adhd. I get extremely frustrated these days when ppl throw around the term, about how they may have it, but yet they are doing well socially, academically, at work. It’s an executive dysfunction. I have it and I didn’t get my diagnosis until adulthood but there was always something wrong, ppl noticed I was different, I had organisational problems, brain fog.. but I didn’t know the brain fog was an issue until I got meds for the first time which was some anxiety, am SSRI. I get asking for help from uni psychologists cuz I was having trouble keeping up at uni… they just kept telling me to take deep breaths. Then misdiagnosed with a mood disorder, many many yrs later after having cared for many many ppl with bipolar there was absolutely no way I had that or related to those ppl. I had told the Drs for yrs I have always spoke fast, then one day a go said I think u have adhd, eventually I got recommended psychometric testing to get disability support services when I applied for post grad. I did undergrad over 5 yrs, I withdrew from subjects cuz I had time management issues, but getting post grad was encouraged by work, I ended up not completing post grad but finally ending up with an adhd specialist and on stimulants helped me.Getting a good psychiatrist who understood neurodiversity but also corroborated my school report cards and with my mum, it validated I’m adhd. My primary school report cards was the dsm 3 for 90’s add criteria, it even mentioned I make careless mistakes, constant talking and disrupting, that I needed to organise my thoughts so I could speak more clearly… I had signs of a verbal dysfluency but nobody helped me at school, they gave me A’s for effort then b’s and c’s. How a kid be trying so hard but failing 🤦♀️ I was was failed on by the school system
That child is just like I was at that age. I'm getting an evaluation next week at age 45 :) I was evaluated at 5 yrs old, but they couldn't figure out what I had in 1983 ;)
Hi. I'm subscribed and enjoy your vids. I'd like to offer some feedback regarding the ambient music in this vid. I like the tunes, but the volume is a bit high for me. I'm catching myself going between your words and the tunes. Is this one of the tests for ADHD?😂
Thanks for the feedback. When i did the levels I used my crappy 20 dollar computer speakers instead of my headphones which are much better for that kind of thing. Won't happen again! Thank you so much for the sub and the comment Rees
I am diagnosed with ADD at the age of 40. Before that I got the label, chronical depression. I am missing the H. Not because it is not there, but because it is so intense, that my brain can't handle it. I was always the sweet silent boy. Nobody ever knew what was happening in my head. Even I didn't understand. All I knew was that I could not concentrate on anything, unless there were no triggers around me. After the diagnoses, I often get the comment, that I must be lucky, not to have the Hyper part. They don't understand that it's the hardest part of having ADD. That the Hyper is so bad, that all thoughts fire at the same time, just making noise. So it's not coming out. The Hyper is only in my head. So no symptom others can see on the outside. I feel for that girl. I was the same. To a degree that the bullying, became physical abuse. Something my brain could not compute on top of all other problems, and resulted in PTSD. I hope the girl, did find out at some point, that she is not alone. And for all struggling at this moment. I am now 55 years old. I am still here. ADHD may be hard. But it is also a superpower. We always will find a way to make things better. If we just understand what is happening in our head. Stay strong! 🤗
Thanks for the video, it's so nice that you put out this content and that you enjoy doing it so much :) Just as a little tip, for someone who has ADHD and autism it is super hard to concentrate on what you're saying with the music in your video being so loud. I personally don't like music while someone is talking but perhaps lowering the volume a little might be a compromise ;) Thanks again
I've been suspecting for a while that I may have ADHD (I will be seeking a professional assessment) and your explanation at around 2:35 makes me feel like crying. Because those are the exact labels that have been put on me my entire life and that I internalised from a young age. Viewing my ADHD symptoms as a biological issue and not as a personal failure has gone a long, long way in me seeking the help I need to manage this condition. Thank you for helping to break down the stigma ❤
Wow. I was that girl (though I am a guy and would've been more likely to be diagnosed as a child, I still present primarily inattentive so it was missed). It does warm my heart that psychology has progressed to the point where it can recognize her struggles. When I was her age, there was no concept that poor attention or inconsistent actions could be explained by anything other than an intentional choice to not care and be "bad". Currently two years into be diagnosed at 28 and still trying to figure it out. Some really interesting things I noticed: 1. She couldn't answer the question about how long it takes her to do homework. People with ADHD are very prone to distortions in our perception of time. Tasks we don't like can seem exaggeratedly long. My doctor once suggested I time tasks I find insurmountably tedious like emptying the dishwasher. I was certain it would be 10-20 minutes. It was 5 minutes. 2. She sees getting all A's as neutral or uncertain, or potentially that it doesn't matter. Some have hypothesized that ADHD can in part be caused by less dopamine activity, meaning we don't get intrinsic feelings of rewards or accomplishments. When I was a kid, I also got mostly A's because I could focus during high stress things like tests, but my primary emotion upon getting an A was relief that I wouldn't get in trouble. I did then, and still do feel, uncomfortable being praised because I don't have an emotional feeling that I've accomplished things, even if it's objectively true. 3. The thing she likes about herself is that she is religious and her religion is important. I'm not making a comment about religion here specifically, but I think it's interesting that she defined her positive qualities based on her adherence to an external structure. Sometimes we feel a sense of internal inconsistency and have trouble functioning if we don't have a strong external structure in our lives that can help us make decisions and provide us the sense of the continuity that we lack internally. The young boy found positive qualities in himself (his good drawing skills), but the girl's self-assessed most positive quality was that she was apart of an external positive thing. Anecdotally speaking, I'm very active in my union and ADHD seems very over-represented among the most involved members.
You’re missing glaring symptoms from that little girl which is very apparent from your conclusion that she doesn’t “appear” to have adhd. Just because she’s not displaying overtly hyperactive behaviour does not mean she doesn’t have it and this commonly held opinion (based on outdated stereotypes) from doctors is the reason why so many neurodiverse girls fall under the radar, or get misdiagnosed with mental illnesses later in life (particularly personality disorders and bipolar). Girls with ADHD tend to internalise their feelings and learn to mask their symptoms and mimic social cues they observe in others. Her stiff body and darting eyes convey extreme discomfort and anxiety. Masking takes a huge amount of effort despite it being a subconscious process so it feels very stressful, especially for such a young girl who won’t understand her feelings.
God i want to hug that little girl and tell her she'll be ok 😭 I was bullied for my stims and when I was invited to go into town with some of the girls from school i was so excited but they planned to just leave me there and run off
The little girl whose mind always wandered especially on tougher subjects was me. I was quiet but couldn't concentrate and therefore got missed. That was also a good 40yrs ago when they thought ADHD was only boys. I was bullied often throughout school and just kind of eeked by on most subjects. I did well in things like art and found a lot of science interesting but because I didn't do well in math I didn't progress to higher science classes I would of enjoyed. So sad this kind of stuff happens so often.
Haha the climbing thing really got me. I was diagnosed late so have been thinking back and noticing more and more… my brother and I would drive my mom nuts trying to climb up the door frames not to mention trees 😅
With the boy watching the math video it was very hard for me to pay attention as well but I'd pick at my split ends, draw, sleep which made me look lazy and so no one was ever concerned about me having anything despite struggling in school immensely i always forgot to do my homework or turn it in and relate with the litter girl a lot when it came to self esteem issues and perfectionism at an early age
is anyone else concerned that the family of the little girl is abusive and causing some of the issues she is having? How does she know she is giving her mom attitude? I can guarantee it is because her mom told her she is giving her attitude. The only thing she could come up with to like about herself is that she likes Jesus? WTF are her parents teaching her? And she said she can be bad sometimes. That is someone feeding her some BS about her being a bad kid. I'd be looking into emotional and verbal abuse if I was her caretaker.
I was led to believe that hyperactivity isnt always physical but can manifest as racing thoughts, the inability to follow a thought or discussion and jumping very quickly from 1 subject to another without finishing.
I have ADHD and I learned how to mask and act „still”, but unfortunately the feeling of hyperactivity in your body doesn’t go away, you still feel tension and I feel like it just turns into frustration and anxiety. If you have a child with ADHD don’t force them not to fidget etc. Do a holistic approach, focusing just on how the child appears outside is hurting them in the long run.
Adhd kids are highly intellegent my daughter is a high fuctioning autistic with adhd.she had a horrible time in school, but she was so smart.She went through absoulte hell.
![Jack Harlow - Hello Miss Johnson [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q86_nlRoIGw/mqdefault.jpg)
That poor girl was showing so many signs of inattentive ADHD. I hope the diagnosis helped her to be happier and more confident in herself.
Hey I though this was a good video but I did want to point out that the girl was showing a lot of symptoms that might get lost, such as the constant eye movement that a lot of girls and women who have ADHD present, she also seemed to be channeling her fidgeting into her fingers during the interview. The last major thing I wanted to touch on as an adult with ADHD is that I did do very well on tests but that my struggle was always homework and remembering to do it and turn it in so even if your child with ADHD seems to be doing well on testing you should be making sure they aren't dropping homework into the dark depths of their backpack where they will only remember it the day it's supposed to be turned in or not at all.
Fellow adult-ADHD'er here and I was same way with tests. I usually faired pretty well on them, but I struggled when it came to writing papers or just remembering to do homework.
Agree, I did well on tests but homeworks and coursework were a whole different story. I was a straight a student in the UK system, in which grades were fully awarded based on exam results. But when I briefly worked with children in America and learned that they could lose marks for tardiness or not handing in homeworks, it occurred to me that in that system I'd likely have never even made it through high school. I'd probably have failed or dropped out.
I've just come across you whilst browsing around various topics on RUclips - my favourite hobby. I'm finding it difficult to watch this particular video though as the music is overwhelming and I can't concentrate. I'm wondering if this is an ADHD symptom? I am actually in the process of waiting on my assessment as an adult.
As a teenager who was diagnosed with adhd in the past couple of years, my mom (who is very adhd) originally explained to me that I might have it too by pointing out how I was looking around the room and couldn't make eye contact with her during the conversation. Which isn't to say that no eye contact is explicitly an adhd thing, but for me, it was one of the more obvious signs. It was also the first thing I noticed about the girl in the video.
As an adult with ADHD I struggle to remember to check my ADHD kid's backpack. As a result he never has homework done and I always feel guilty😂
It’s worth pointing out that for many of us ADHD brained folks, the inattentiveness and disorganization can manifest as hyper focus too, which can be just as debilitating as being distracted. I’m an audio engineer and I love what I do, but I can sit down at the computer at 2pm and not realize I’ve been mixing for 12 hours until my 2am bedtime alarm goes off. It means I can have massive bursts of productivity when I can sink into a task, but it also means I didn’t do anything else for 12 hours. That’s where the social, sleep, nutritional, anxiety, depression, and guilt all slide in. It’s not that I can’t focus… it’s that I can’t break focus from something I enjoy when I’ve got less fun sh*t to do!
Omg 😳 I didn't know that was actually a thing until I just read this. People get so mad at me, I miss appointments, I'm late to father's day/mamas day/nephews birthday etc... I'll look at my phone time and it'll say noon or so 🕛 and then say I'm jumping in the shower soon because it's an ocd thing I have to shower before I do ANYTHING or I don't feel good... Then what feels like maybe an hour later I'm reminded that everyone's going to bed soon... I'm like what? My very patient father of my kids-"Yes it's 9 pm I kept telling you and you don't listen"
And it makes me want to break down into tears because I just lost another day with my family. It's gotten worse since I gave birth so I can't say for sure if it's related to the damage pregnancy did to my organs, or if very soon after a precancerous primary source ended up spreading to my liver and now brain (it's been a rough 2 years post partum/but worse the past year).
I started feeling sick in 2016 but they told me I was a woman, a woman with anxiety, and a woman that needed to lose 20 lbs so I lost 45 instead- still felt shitty, but looked great so I stopped going to the doctor. That's when I should've kept going I guess to be taken seriously 😒
But ya so I guess for me it could be what I've always had just worsened over time or liver disease from my obgyn not watching me carefully enough or something as serious as C, my whole body is deteriorating up to the point my eyes bleed, my bones hurt, my stomach is distended where I still look full term and had horrible rib pain until I stopped eating fully. Sometimes my appetite comes back for something silly like rice and cheesecake 😭
But regardless, (sorry long random reply) if I wasn't dealing with all this other shit I wouldn't have felt so awful about something we can't control all this time.. I even have to set an alarm for when I shower otherwise i stay in for an hour.
God 😢
Do you have a hard time opening mail? 📬 Letting it stack up wherever? Ruining your life lol
@@dxxl- sorry I missed this message way back when! And sorry you’re going through so much, I can only imagine!! I totally understand what you’re describing, and yeah, showers take way too long to the point that I’d rather skip a shower than risk losing time. And I don’t have an issue with paper mail, but I currently have over 600 unread text messages and thousands of unaddressed emails. So much so that just opening my email app triggers a huge anxiety wave, and stops me from actually looking at what I missed. So then I miss important info from work, events I’d want to go to, or request from the people in my life who then assume I’m ignoring them, rather than just overwhelmed. So rest easy, you are certainly not alone! My multiple therapists have all confirmed that this is 100% consistent with a non-hyperactive adhd diagnosis
@@dxxl- I’m also notoriously late to things and forget about obligations I’ve made all the time. Tracking time in general, being able to predict how long something will take, and working backwards from an end point to break down all the steps in between, and then planning how long they will all take and when to do them (executive functioning) is super hard for me, and other friends of mine with a similar diagnosis. There’s a real tendency to get lost in the moment for folks like us, and that can mean that we have an easier time “living in the now” than others, but it tends to come at the cost of being able to plan, having foresight about the short term future, and overall reliability. To others, our yourself (I definately make different choices than the people around me because I know I can’t trust my self to come through on certain things, even though it’s all for myself). When I’m experiencing depression, I describe it as tunnel vision. I get caught up in “what’s the important thing I need to do right now?” and the rest of the world fades away. A lot doesn’t happen when I’m stuck in tunnel vision mode, and I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about, where a more neurotypical reader of this comment might be like “what the hek does this guy mean by ‘tunnel vision?’”
when he was going over the video with the math vs star wars i was thinking the same sort of thing. i present more inattentive typically with some fidgetiness but if i have a hyperfixation and there's something like math to do for said hyperfixation, it's hyperfocus time baby you are not getting me out of that math problem for the next hour if hyperfocus brain had its way. i get this with drawing and sometimes writing, sometimes while trying to learn how to do something new. it all depends on what interest my brain has decided to flit to and be like 'yes. that's the one. that's the one today. nothing else exists.' there are some things that can break my focus but it's not something done easily if it's not a specific sound or something. it's a mess LOL. i have like 12 alarms and reminders for everything and sometimes i'll still miss my meds notification if i'm really really into something so i'll be late taking them by like an hour and a half.
adhd is ride man. you either can't focus or you can only focus on one thing for forever and a day. nothing else. bodily functions? gimme a minute i just wanna finish this one part. 1 hr later you are somewhat dehydrated and desperately need a drink xD
@@cadbq preaching to the choir! Just now I was practicing some drums and said to myself “one more song, it’s getting late and I don’t want to bother my neighbors. Six songs later, I caught myself. Bodily functions? Hydration? Nutrition? These are just annoyances that threaten my productivity. The worst is when I’m in hyperfocus mode and really getting into my groove on something, and I have all these delicate thoughts I’m balancing, and then someone interrupts me and all those thoughts go right out the window. Once focus is broken, it can be hard to get back into it, so I often will tell family to just leave me alone while I’m working until I come out, but sometimes I’m needed right away, and I find myself getting overwhelmed by the fear of forgetting where I left off, and sometimes snap at my family when they don’t deserve it. Like, I have no ill will towards that family member, but my frustration with my own process and inability to hold a thought if I don’t deal with it NOW gets taken out on them. Anyone else struggle with that?
ADHD and Autism also tend to manifest differently with girls and young women. ♥Our Hyperactivity tends to menifest internally more often. We struggle with racing thoughts, poor self image, stress, ect. We also struggle more with things like restless leg syndrom and such as well.
Oh no I didn't see this comment and pretty much repeated what you said 🤦🏼♀️ I'm sorry.
so true! Some of my struggles. 😅
came here to write the same, females have pretty different and more tricky presentation and there's still nearly not enough researches on that
that little girl broke my heart. It was watching a home video of me.
I bet she gets yelled at a lot and that leads to feelings of worthlessness. Good experiences are few and far between.
Yes, i bet she was. I was as well and it has taken years of therapy to get past it.@@sarahgirard1405
omg me too, crying right now. Wish I had this diagnosed then.
@@colinstuI cried the first time and this time seeing her too. Like watching myself.
Me too, she even looks similar to me as a kid. I couldn’t listen, take in information very well, and bounce around like a manic ball…nobody wanted to be near me …
The way she holds the arms of the chair and sits so stiffly and almost stone like, is something that feels to me like masking.
I think this little girl has been repeatedly scolded for wriggling,or fidgeting in her chair and possibly for not making eye contact, so she has become hyper aware of her need to remain still and the tenseness and the fingers gripping into the arm of the chair really shows her inner dialogue is shouting at her on repeat - sit up straight, don't fidget, look at me when you speak......
Her eyes are very active too and I feel like it mirrors her active mind.
I think in a classroom situation this young lady probably becomes very emotional and even quite tired after having to focus so hard at just sitting still let alone take in the actual conversations or lessons and provide adequate responses like she is doing so here.
ADHD is a lot of effort to mask, 'normal' seems like a gift
I wouldn’t be surprised if those Jesus parents are trying to turn her into one of those slavishly obedient christian wives.
I felt so bad for her. Poor sweet darling baby. :(
@kellydalstok8900 Im glad her parents loved her and got her diagnosed by a doctor. Clearly they're teaching her right too as she loves the God that made her! What a cutie.
Maby her high intelligens helps her to mask quit well.
Thank you
"I get A's but not A+'s" hit me right in the gifted inattentive ADHD kid. Ouch! Also the "her ADHD must be well managed because she isn't fidgeting." There's a reason inattentive type ADHD is so under-diagnosed. I was surprised you didn't mention that in reference to the little girl.
Underrated comment!! I feel like Dr Syl should look more into this! -female with ADHD
The not fidgeting in her case actually looks more adhd to my eyes - she’s as stiff as a board, and her eyes are flicking around a lot - she seems restless, like she’s preventing herself from fidgeting. She looks uncomfortable too. (But that may be projection, because she reminds me a lot of myself when I was little).
Why do you think it's so under-diagnosed? Thanks.
@@Wingsofchange2024because it is. It’s not disruptive to the outsider or the class. It’s disruptive to the person dealing with it. There’s most of a generation of girls completely overlooked when I was a kid. I was literally in a one on one learning disability class with a specialized teacher. I made really good test grades, turned nothing in, forgot so much stuff in instructors. She said i learned differently and nothing was wrong. Math and social studies were why I ended up in the LD class. People tend to be diagnosed based on the trouble they cause to others and girls/afab learn through social structure that we have to mask or people please like mad.
I think it's important to point out that she was actually showing a lot of signs of her ADHD especially stereotypical of girls. I think a big point of that video was to show how easy it can be to mix up a diagnosis because the boy is sitting comfortably and moving in his seat and answering more loudly whereas the girl can easily be overlooked.
In the video with the 2 kids, a huge symptom I spotted right away (as someone with ADHD who also struggles with this) is the lack of eye contact the young girl had. She couldnt maintain it with the woman asking her questions, she was consistently looking elsewhere.
I’d say Asperger’s
also ADHD manifests different in boys and girls. With girls it is often overlooked since our society treats girls different than boys so hyperactive part is harder to spot in girls
That's something I've always struggled with. Either I always look away or I remind myself I should be looking at people's eyes, so I stare at them the entire time.
Oof the little girl is hitting me in the heart. That was me. I do want to mention that even if theyre not getting made fun of, ADHD can be isolating and a hit to self esteem all on its own. You see what others are capable of and feel dumb, lazy, weird, different, etc.
Yeah, her seemingly not having ADHD from your point of view is exactly why I wasn't diagnosed as a child and only at the 40, after 20 years of being in different kinds of therapies with not much success (and being un severe burnout twice). I nearly didn't get diagnosed because I "did great at school" and having successfully finished my uni degree , which is such an outdated factor to consider. I had the same self-esteem issues like her and was a perfectionist since I was a small child. My mother often struggled and wondered where I got that from. (Spoiler, it wss my dad, he was the undiagnosed ADHDer, he died young, but he showed all the symptoms, in retrospect).
Unfortunately, many doctors have still not recognized that adhd shows up differently in AFAB people because of their socialization. We learnt to hide our symptoms ar a very early age which means that we internalize a lot of stuff. Hyperactivity often shows up at racing minds, sleeping issues, anxiety, impulsivity in buying decisions and relationships. We are often diagnosed with personality disorders, anxiety and depression first, because that's what happens after years of shame for not being good enough. (Happened in my case as well)
There are many experts, for example Russell Barkley that have confirmed this.
Just because our symptoms are not as visible and our grades are good doesn't mean we don't experience and suffer from them intensely.
It's about time to listen to the experiences of millions of people that have the more inattentive/ internalized representation and inculde them in the diagnostic criteria. And believe them, when they say they can't function, even if it looks like they have it all together. Befause often we don't. We just push ourselves to be "normal and functioning" every day until we burn out. It's playing life on hard mode.
I hope that, you, as a young psychiatrist can take this message into the medical community. We need you. It cab literally save lives. Thank you.
let me preface this by saing if any of this comes off as aggressive or condescending or mocking or whatever else negative it might seem, it's not intended to. i'm not trying to start an argument, just a discussion. i wanna make that clear because i know tone gets lost in text and also the internet can be a very stinky place sometimes because there are people who DO do that shit.
as a dfab with ADHD diagnosed in their 20s, i both feel this and also have to say that while it's not perfect, strides are definitely being made, but it's not something the whole world is super privy to. my guess is because there's a weird??? stigma??? with getting help for the brain as much as the body. he does recognize early on that she is showing some symptoms while the boy really isn't. but it is harder to diagnose dfabs because it doesn't present itself as readily as it does for dmabs. and it's not uncommon for it to be misdiagnosed because the brain is an excessively individual thing and there are a lot of other mental health concerns that can present similarly as one another. we can't just do a scan of the brain and narrow it down to like 2 issues, y'know? it can narrow it down a little, maybe, and then comorbidity is a whole thing--it can be hard to get the diagnosis.
I thought it was just that ADHD can present differently in girls, nothing to do with how you were assigned at birth.
@@emmanarotzky6565 the hard truth is that for transmen, because they had the hormones and the bits and bobs of women, it's common that they present with symptoms more often associated with cis women's presentations. not that cis men can't present that way, but it is often a reminder that they weren't designated the gender that matches them.
@@cadbq nothing condescending about your comment. I really appreciate your perspective, and I agree. 🤗❤️
Also getting “As” as a child means nothing. I was a “gifted” student up until 4th grade. I was in a GATE program which was some gifted kids program in the 90s. Eventually I became a C average student. I barely graduated high school with C and B. I think I only got one A in Spanish but that’s because I’m a native speaker. I got into university but barely graduated with mostly Cs and Bs lol. I feel like so much can change from a child to adulthood. Even if you get good grades as a child that doesn’t mean it will always be that way. For the longest time I felt so dumb. Really dumb. But I guess when I consider the positives, that I even made it to university and I graduated at all. That’s an accomplishment right
Adult with ADHD here: At first I thought the loud music was intentional to show what it's like to not be able to tune out background noise and focus on the important stuff. My brain interprets every sound as important and necessary to attend to. And yes, it's distracting. I can tell when my meds wear off because suddenly I can hear the filter of our aquarium and it's SO LOUD, whereas during my Vyvanse hours I almost completely tune it out. All that to say, although the loud music was a mistake, it could also function as an empathy exercise for non-ADHD people if you add a screen caption to that effect.
The music was so distracting for me too! It was so loud I ended up having to fast forward some.
Vyvanse is great, it makes me a functional human for like 10 hrs
Ikr? The music is KILLING me!
The music is painful too 😢 (hyper vigilance from c-ptsd + misophonia)
9:18 Thank dog the music stopped!
OMG these comments are killing me and also reassuring. I stopped the video to know if it was coming from there or an other tab (true ADHD activity there). And I was thinking "Why is it so loud???! I can bearly hear him talk. Is the screencaption mentionning that as an ADHD symptom?". And here I am in the comments section with other ADHDer "complaining"/sharing the struggle. Thank y'all for sharing BTW.
@@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose Thanks for this comment, I thought I was going to have to bail on this video. Came to the comments to mention the music, but knew in my heart it had already been said. ❤
That poor little girl. That was heartbreaking.
Thank you so much for making a video on ADHD. It's incredibly sad to witness the little girl so uncomfortable in herself, which to me almost seems like is the beginnings of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Already at such a young age she appears to be hypercritical of herself and assumes people dislike her or find her to be a burden.
Something I always wonder is if RSD is just a natural symptom of our condition or if we tend to develop it given the treatment we receive from those around us, frequently being chastised for things we either do not understand or literally cannot help. I remember reading a study that said by the time a child with ADHD is 12 they will on average have received over 20,000 more negative comments about themselves than their neurotypical peers, making it quite easy to understand why so many of us struggle with our self worth.
Probably because of the combination of the negative comments, comparing yourself to others where you fail, on top of the emotional dysregulation making it harder to cope with.
not to mention girls have weirdass standards to live up to, so says society. not to mention, and i find this odd, in my personal experience (idk how true it is on a grand scale) but little girls with adhd are more likely to kinda get pushed into the cracks like her whereas little boys with adhd are accepted more often, depending on the type and the severity. usually class clowns or something of that ilk.
that's an interesting thought tbh. my guess is the rsd is a mix of both. it's there naturally but the amount of negativity exacerbates it drastically. mine is primarily inattentive type (and i bounce my legs a lot while i'm doing things), so i didn't often get a whole lot of comments but i'm p sure i exhibit a level of rsd
Pretty much what everyone said here already Emotional Dysregulation, told so many times you were doing it wrong. Dressed wrong, hair is wrong don't do it that way stop talking, why aren't you talking, is something wrong with you, forgetting your phone or something important for school. Using the excuses of "I don't know" or "I forgot" , which just get you more in trouble. From a young age. It sticks and it builds... Sorry that was pretty fresh. I just finished a book on ADHD and Autism and the chapters on childhood, education and relationships really cut deep. Feeling a bit fragile 😅
@@lolly5657 you're valid af. really finding out the heart of things feels like getting punched in the mouth, sometimes even if you already knew it
@@cadbq read AuDHD and me: growing up Distracted. It's one wait what slap after another
It might look like it's going well for her but that might not be the case, AFAB children are pressured more from a young age to mask their symptoms so it often doesn't present the same way as it does for AMAB children. Part of why they're more likely to be diagnosed at a later age
I identify more with the little girl than the boy. It is like she doesn't seek external validation, and spends most of her time internally focused. I feel like she thinks she's in trouble and on the spot and always jumping through hoops for other people. I want her to know she is probably very cool, very smart, and very mindful of others, but she exists in a world of people who don't think as much. She's sensitive and I hope she grew into her own skin powerfully and happily.
Programmer w/ ADHD here, and one of the things that I think doesn't get talked about enough is that there are quite a few benefits/upsides to ADHD, it's not all bad. The fellow ADHD programmers I've known are often the BEST programmers in a group. ADHD is a pain in many ways, but ADHDers are often more curious, exploratory, creative, intelligent, entrepreneurial, etc., it's not all bad!
I think programming can be a great environment for ADHD. You get alot of feedback engaging in that kind of work. Every incremental step you make while you code either works or does not creating a good feedback loop to stay engaged in the task.
Civil engineer here, and same. I swear my ADD is why I can think of unique solutions and fairly accurately brainstorm the possible outcomes. That said, without drugs I am a dysfunctional mess who cannot take care of her own basic needs.
Completely agree. I got diagnosed quite late in life so have kinda figured out how to work with my add without meds. It definitely makes me more curious and explorative because I find specific interests, whether they are long lasting or just my random interest for any given week, or often quite intense so I literally find everything I possibly can about it. I’ve learnt a lot of stuff from all of it
i wouldn't necessarily say more intelligent but i would say there are the benefits. when we fixate on something, we really fixate on it. like i get that. we will go down the deepest pits to get every single scrap of information possible. i'd say it's something akin to a special interest with autism (both ADHD and autism have a lot where they present super similarly). and while hyperfocus can drown out the rest of the world to a negative effect, it can also be positive, if you can figure out how to manage it. hyperfocusing on a task just... yeah you might forget to go pee for an hour but you have gotten SO MUCH done.
we also work really well under pressure. because it's basically all we do. if there's a deadline soon and a big workload where other people would crack under pressure, you can count on someone with adhd to deliver. we can go on for days without much rest if needed.
The number of children with similar conditions as the little girl and the number of parents that think ADHD, depression, anxiety and many other disorders are just excuses from "the lazy people of the woke generation" is what makes me think this world is completely doom
I'm formally diagnosed adhd and asd level one. I would say beware of thinking someone is doing well or 'mild' because they can succeed academically or can sit still in a chair. Esp girls. I was a straight a/a* student and was conscientious and polite.
However, in primary school I was always getting into trouble for being disorganized, late, not having done homework, etc. I'd be stood in front of the class and yelled at and shamed. It was assumed I was capable and just wasn't thinking hard enough, or was lazy or thoughtless. No one understood I was trying my hardest and actually needed some support and guidance around these tasks. I'd also be yelled at and sent out of class diff times when I thought I was being engaged and a good eager student but I had interrupted or overenthusiastically spoken out of turn.
By secondary school I kind of avoided getting in serious trouble because my grades were so good and I was polite and not disruptive, I avoided annoying people by becoming really quiet, but I was still constantly told off for things like not doing homework, being late, being lazy. On one occasion I was stood at the front of my form class and yelled at by a sub teacher who was standing in that week, in front of everyone, told I'd never succeed in the adult world or be employable, because I was late each day. I was often bullied and had major self esteem issues. At home I struggled with my room, clothes and hygiene. I was constantly overwhelmed and paddling like mad beneath the surface to cope, constantly exhausted and trying so hard to meet expectations. I tried to commit suicide at around 16 by overdose. But hey, I was a good student and a prefect and didn't give people bother, so not so bad right?
Even as an adult, I got two first class honours degrees and impressed employers in jobs, so all sounds fine, right? Except its not. The longest job I ever held before burning out was 2 years and that was a part time job. Only managed full time for one year, then I was so burnt out I couldn't function or get out of bed. Household chores and finance management and dealing with appointments etc is a constant struggle to keep head above water and I continue to need support with all those. My self esteem is shot because I often feel like a failure as a human being because the 'easy' things are so hard. When in hyperfocus, I'll forget to eat, drink, rest, for entire days. I only manage to work a few hours a week atm, which is an improvement as I was out of work for many years. I have no idea how to access meds as I was diagnosed by a psychologist and referred back to gp, neither of who can prescribe meds and I don't think the gp sees it as anything serious or needing treatment because I'm an adult now and from the outside it looks like I'm doing OK, and sure I managed this far.
Anyway, I guess my point is that we can't decide how severe a person's situation is based off of how disruptive they are, or how visible it is, to people around them, or because they succeed in some areas. It can be having a much deeper impact than what you see on the surface.
Your primary school teachers were crazy. Even neurotypical kids in that age group don’t do those things by themselves. When a kid goes to school on time or remembers to do their homework and bring it to class, it’s because of their parents. I got to school whenever my mom managed to drive me there, and I did my homework and turned it in because my mom looked at my planner with me, made sure I did the homework, and then made sure it was in my backpack before school the next day. It would be so inappropriate to blame a kid for their parents being disorganized, just as (I now realize as an adult) it was inappropriate for my teachers to praise me for my mom’s work in making sure I had everything ready on time. I didn’t even pay attention in class, I just got good grades because I happened to have an organized mom. But that’s still better than giving someone bad grades or full on yelling at them in class for not being born to organized parents!
And the lateness thing… until you’re old enough to drive, being late to school is on your parents. If your parents are good at timing things you’ll get to school on time, and if not, you won’t. None of that is because of you.
@@emmanarotzky6565 my parents tried every way they could to help me organized and without that I'd have got into much more bother. They were always organized, on time themselves and really really really tried many things to help me. This is not on them. You don't sound like someone who has parented a child with adhd and dyspraxia. Whose child might need 10 mins to get dressed one day but the next will need an hour to find socks that doesn't send them into melt down. Who you might provide with perfect sleep hygiene and night routines but they still won't fall asleep til 3am and then can't get uup in the morning no matter how early and often you try to wake them. Many, many other examples. Your comments seem to deny the disabilities and differences that exist AND join in parent blaming and shaming at the same time. My parents were wonderful, engaged and organized. They were old school with old school values. My brother, who didn't always get as good grades as me as I performed better in exams, was every teachers favourite and was made head boy.
Some children have genuine difficulties with these tasks even though they and their parents try hard. In fact in many cases they and their parents will be trying and working 10 times harder than others. Just cos it's an invisible disability doesn't mean it's not real. We're doing all this stuff like we're playing the game in hard mode. And our parents are too, all the while being judged for it.
@@emmanarotzky6565 in primary school a lot of the things teachers yelled at me for were organization tasks that happened in school, responsibilities students were given, and things my other classmates did manage to do that I habitually did not. I'd have the messy desk. I'd keep forgetting to take my lunch box home til things were growing in it. I'd forget to take home or give parent notes. I'd still be engrossed in a task while the others had followed instructions and tidied up before break. I kept leaving stray items of clothing in the changing room when getting ready for PE, and list goes on. I'd be late in class after lunch. These were all things that technically took place within school hours, under teacher supervision. These were often things I got yelled at and pulled in front of the class for. Our parents weren't there to help us. The other children managed but I didn't.
My son has ADHD and this one made me cry. He never gets invited to things and we live in a small town, so that sucks. He is a super kid though. And I am sure he'll grow up to be an amazing adult. He's funny and smart.
He will grow up to be amazing for sure ❤
Perhaps look into Special Okympics activities where he can have opportunities to socialize through sports. If you have a parks and recreation program for individuals with special needs, it may be helpful. Blessings to you and your son.
I read that girls exhibit ADHD much differently than boys and so are rarely diagnosed until they are much older. They are a lot more reserved and controlled because of societal conditioning.
I think its so important to explain that ADHD is not the inability to focus, but the inability to regulate that focus. When I was young and being assessed by psychologists they would ask if u had trouble focusing and my mind would go to how I could read so much that I would stay up all night not being able to put the book down, or how I could draw for hours and forget to eat or get up to go to the bathroom. So I would answer that, yes, I could focus. mean while I couldn't focus on school work or chores.
Watching that little girl is heart breaking
Appreciate bringing more awareness to Adults with ADHD. I was diagnosed at 10 years old and taken off of medication in college because it was an "adolescent disorder". It set me back about five years on getting an education. I'm back to being managed through therapy and medications and it has absolutely changed by marriage and my career for the better.
i only got diagnosed recently bc adhd manifests differently for girls/women. would have made my mom's life so much easier had they thought to test me as a kid. i could relate to that little girl so much though she was much better with describing it but i had similar experiences as her. i would love to see an updated video discussing those differences because i feel like it was greatly overlooked in this video.
As an adult woman who was diagnosed with ADHD at 42, watching this was sooooo triggering. My brother was diagnosed as a child so his behavior was more understood. Because I presented differently as a girl, mine was missed and I was blamed by my parents for the moodiness, constantly losing things, and not being able to focus at school. I had poor grades and learned that doing the homework could raise my grade because at test time my mind would go completely blank. The sense of loneliness she described and low self-esteem issues have been present my entire life. Now as a psychotherapist I can understand these issues on a deeper educational level, and at least I can help my clients to hopefully avoid feeling how I always have.
I think that's what broke my heart the most about this. I was recently diagnosed at 39 and that was very much me at that age, it was not well managed and diagnosed though, it was an extreme guilt complex because of the struggle to not do it that was why controlled. May not be the same for her, I hope its not, but emotional intelligence made it worse for me too, I learned to cope with it, to hide it well but internally knew something was off and beat myself up every day for not doing what others could and saw myself always as a burden.
I was the exact same. At 33 I'm working really hard to try scrape away the mask and the guilt I hold on to. Finding the ADHD community has been a lifeline. I had never connected with people like that before. And people telling me their stories which mirror my own. It's absolutely incredible.
being aware of your emotions and the logic (or lackthereof) behind them can be such a double edged sword. on one hand, you know how to manage it when you must. on the other hand, that not only makes it easy to bottle things, but you also end up feeling shitty about things. like... when i know there's no real good reason for me to be as wildly upset about something as i am in the moment, i get even more upset with myself on top of it because like... i'm aware that i'm being extra and this is uncalled for. or if i'm crying over like... idk a dropped gummy bear i just think "i am absolutely distraught and there is no reason. it's just a single gummy bear." it's so easy to beat yourself up with being emotionally aware of yourself
@@cadbq this is is too true too. Or emotions have become too much I can dissociate. But when it happens during a serious discussion with husband and he thinks I fell asleep during the chat but I am there but separate. Is awful 😞 and he thinks I don't care and I try to explain after but I don't want to make excuses.
@@lolly5657 i always say that illnesses aren't an excuse, but they can be an explanation. it doesn't necessarily excuse whatever negative thing has happened but it helps the other person understand where you're at and that you aren't doing it on purpose to be shitty. dissociation is wild. my boyfriend once described it as walking around like you have a vr headset on. small dissociation is normal--driving to work and can't remember getting from point a to point b but you sure made it? a form of dissociation that's very normal. but mental illness can super exacerbate it or make it more frequent than it should be.
as someone within your peers (i just turned 30--it's super weird), i'll say now. it's ok to explain it. it's ok to say you were dissociating. you can apologize that it happened and explain you hadn't meant to come off that way. and you can always try to work out whatever was being talked about. it also might help him understand and recognize it better in the future, assuming he doesn't realize you're dissociating. during a dissociative spell, it can also be helpful to state that you're dissociating so if it sounds like you don't care, that's not the case. my boyfriend and i both have dissociative spells for various reasons but we've worked out enough that i know it's not that he doesn't care.
half sorry for text wall, but not enough not to leave it as a text wall LOL
Omg diagnosed with ADHD at 33 and this is breaking my heart. My chest is so tight. The pain and the memories of overthinking even then. I wish no one ever had to feel this way!
same here! got diagnosed same age recently. i was surprised that he didn't know about how adhd manifests for girls vs. boys.
I was diagnosed in my 50’s. I take adderal every day. My life would have been vastly different if I’d had this little pill when I was a child.
As someone approaching 40 who wasn't diagnosed until recently, I have to say that I'm glad awareness is going up and this is being caught sooner for people. Realizing that I've spent half my life struggling extremely hard because nobody recognized what the problem was led me to experience serious regret and grief imagining what could have been.
I’m amazed by your read on her, do you still feel this way about it? This is why we were under-diagnosed. 😢 I don’t think she could have been crying out for help more. “Doing well” by other standards is not enough and not all of us are figetey. I think the “emotions” were just things that sure was told about herself. I know I’m projecting but how do we fix this diagnosis gap?
It made me super mad...
We stop basing diagnosis only on how it impacts the people around us and look at the struggle the child is having. I have a self esteem the size of at tiny cricket and everything squishes it all the time due to my school life. My mom was sad I didn’t make friends well, and I was moody. I’m very much my mother’s daughter. So she was amazing with me
Awesome video. Glad to see one on ADHD. I was diagnosed only last year at the age of 26. Women are so under diagnosed as so many people don't know about it presenting differently in males and females. I loved that you went through footage, explained ADHD and went really deep into the topic. Really informative and interesting video 😊 looking forward to seeing more!
Me: I can tell this is going to be an extremely informative video that will probably answer some of the questions I had about myself.
Also Me: *fast forwards 50% of the video*
Pahahahaaaaa I did the exact same thing
(I have ADHD). I remember in forth grade i had to sit by myself next to the board because i always lost my glasses so i couldn't see good and i would just talk to the people around me on and on
As a parent of a child with ADHD that tested as gifted but could not read or write in grade 2. His behaviour management isolated him. His work not looking like other kids work made him so embarrassed. He was NEVER invited to birthday parties. It crushed me. ADHD has such a huge stigma and teachers just label them bad kids. Well, my son is gifted, he loves caring for kids who are younger or need special help, he loves volunteering. But ADHD and the unexpected behaviours and impulse control challenges can lead kids to really dark places. They are desperate for friends but the ‘good kids’ avoid him. The ‘bad kids’ accept him because they push boundaries, too. And he’s so wound up and excited by the prospect of friends he does silly things to be liked and part of the group. Adolescents with ADHD have an extra tricky time. Thank you for showing the real diagnostic criteria because everyone and their brother thinks the have ADHD through self diagnosis and it diminishes what these kids go through.
Music is soooooo distracting/disruptive… what a relief when it finished… 😢
I really liked the video at first, but what you said, in the end, made me really mad. She seems to be doing well? She´s getting bullied, has low self-esteem, and doesn´t have friends, BUT she is doing well at school and isn´t really fidgety. Like THAT is what matters. Who cares? Her voice was cracking when she was speaking. Like she was gonna cry any second. Her experience at school is terrible, but she has good grades so it´s all right. I hate this. This is why I and many others were diagnosed so late. Because we did well in school and nobody cared that we felt terrible. Since when are the child´s grades more important than the child?
This mentality of not caring about the person is also visible in non-ADHDiers talking about it. Or the DSM-5 itself. It tells you how the person's behavior affects everybody around, but now how it affects the person themselves. How devastating it really is. That is why people can´t sympathize. Cause medical professionals focus more on the symptoms that are inconvenient or annoying to OTHERS, but not on the ones that would ACTUALLY improve the affected person's life.
It was my boss (a bank manager) that suggested to me about 10 years ago, "Have you ever considered getting tested for ADHD?"
It completely changed my life in such a positive way. I thank him for going out on a limb and sharing his honesty. My quality of life has soared, since doing so.
Testing was a grueling and heart-wrenching process. But it did change my life no doubt. I went on to achieve performance awards at work, the first of which was "Most improved". LOL
But I'd never wanted to be stuck behind a desk. So I am no longer in banking. Suddenly, the world opened up with so many possibilities!
I felt empowered to explore what I actually wanted to do. I felt validated! I wasn't this broken, misbehaved, or stupid person.
I now had the courage, forethought and determination to go after MY dreams, instead of listening to what I should be doing.
Today, I fully embrace my quirky self, I feel proud that I have surpassed the expectations of some of my teachers in school. Einstein and Richard Branson, are known to have ADHD, so I'm capable of success too!
That's not to say it's all good. I have trouble fitting in, but never allowed myself to be bullied. On the contrary, one of the benefits of being distracted is recognizing what is going on around you. If it's not good (as in someone else being mistreated), I simply cannot help but respond to stop it. I've been this way since I was a child. I often ended up in the school office for fighting, but it was only if I noticed a bully picking on someone else, when they didn't think anyone was watching, but I saw it! I can't excuse violence, but I could never tolerate bullying either. I'm grown now, and like to think there are better ways to explain things.😊
As for ADHD, I have learned to look at the positives of my diagnosis, because dwelling on the negative does little in life to fix them. I hope one day, it will be seen as I see, it's as much of a gift, as it is a deficit ❤
I just wanted to second Umichansan's comment. Your videos are always lovely, and you break things down in way that's both digestible and engaging; it'd be great to see you revisit the topic of ADHD with more knowledge & insight on how differently it can present in cis girls/women and trans folk who were assigned-female-at-birth, or otherwise raised & socialised as girls. Though it's not information included in the DSM (yet!), there's been a growing awareness about it over the last decade -- something that's been helping a lot of people receive adult diagnoses.
YES i second this! It hurts to see new young psychiatrist make the same mistakes (overlooking women/girls) as the old generation of psychiatrist. So much suffering was caused by misinformation
Thank you for making this video. I was recently diagnosed as an adult. I agree about the loud music - I found it distracting and was glad it stopped. Would love to see more content on ADHD, particularly the mental health issues that often come along with it.
Also just input. You said she was managing well. She is a girl with ADHD we are so good at hiding. My teacher only noticed my selective mutism and was concerned with that. Although i was never tested back then. Girls tend to be quiet, daydreamers find it incredibly hard to concentrate, its painful sometimes. And emotional Dysregulation... Although that's not part of the assessment process.
In addition, girls can do well in school, I've heard so many stories from people not getting diagnosed due to them being too smart, doing to well in school, having a master's. The thing is with attention if you really like something you will really like it and work at it. May be hard to pull you away.
Thanks for this vid Dr Syl! I am now 40 and still deal with ADHD. Was diagnosed as a kid and was medicated but then eventually "grew out of it". Spoiler: I really didn't. I just lost the hyperactive side, but struggled with learning, impulse control, forgetfulness, etc. I am finally going back to a Dr for a new examination, treatment and RX to help me get back some more control and hopefully lessen the symptoms. This is still a wildly underestimated and misunderstood condition, which is often brunt of jokes, or we are told "you just need to focus/apply yourself" etc. So, the more awareness with common sense breakdowns like you did are great and much needed! Also... that lil girl is so adorable and I just want to hug her and tell her how awesome and smart she is!!!
I was recently diagnosed as an adult and was hoping you had a video on ADHD, so glad you do. I appreciate your videos and could listen to you all day long!
I think this is a great video but could have done more to highlight the lack of diagnosis in children who have high IQ, also the importance of nurture (environment and culture) on developing personality, insecurities, habits etc. These are important factors that might hide or exacerbate symptoms presented in the DSM. For example, girls are generally taught to be more self-analytical while boys are encouraged that boys will just be boys -not everyone raises their kids this way but I definitely still see this happening in young children.
I wasn’t diagnosed till around 26 years old and was told I was pretty darn textbook, except that I never had problems in school or making friends until I reached college age and several life events also affected my anxiety which also impacted the adhd a lot.
Clinical psych student from UNC-Chapel Hill in NC, USA here. I've been binging your videos. They're extremely helpful and super interesting. Cheers, Dr. Syl!
I’m 23 and I got diagnosed a couple years ago, my mum always said I had it but I wasn’t too bothered about a diagnosis (just a personal thing) but eventually wanted to find out if I had it, or was just actually ignorant and lazy 😂😂 I struggle a lot with the attention deficit side of things. As I’ve gotten older the hyperactivity hasn’t completely gone, but it’s definitely lessened to an extent. Mostly in the sense that sometimes I recognise that I can’t fidget for example, so I can kinda keep it at bay but it almost makes me angry 😂😂 I really struggle with recognising that things are issues too, it’s almost like I forget to care very often or can’t quite see why things are such a big deal. But the main thing is really struggling to either start or finish things. The only time this isn’t an issue is if it’s like a film or series of a video game, something I’m interested or my left field intense interest for that given week. For example last month I got really really really into cooking, I bought new knives and pots and pans and shit, now I couldn’t be less interested. It’s a real struggle that I don’t think a lot of people recognise and I’ve been criticised a lot over the years for the way I think and behave, but tbh whilst sometimes I frustrate even myself, I’m happy with the way I am, there’s been a few consistent interests I’ve had in my life and my complete disinterest in pretty much anything else has kinda allowed me to get into a tunnel vision mode and I’ve achieved some really cool goals in areas I’m interested in. I do encourage anyone who THINKS they may have it to get tested, it helps a lot understanding why you do the things you do and I’ve seen a few people I know who have now been diagnosed, criticise themselves endlessly because they don’t understand why. Any way waffled a bit but thanks for the video 😊
I spent the vast majority of my school days in “in school suspension”. Got diagnosed in 3rd grade. Was never treated till my mid twenties
I'm an old premed and I love your energy and want to share it with you as I embark on my medical path :) Let's all be the best we can be for our patients!!
I really enjoyed this video and the demonstration of the signs in kids. It was interesting that you said she didn't seem to show too many symptoms, I inferred from you that it could indicate good symptom managing. I was very much like this little girl around adults and I've always been emotionally intelligent- I realize now that I was kind of an expert at blending in. My brothers ADHD was caught because of his behaviour issues, but mine slipped by until I was 29 years old getting treatment for C-PTSD. That is SOOOO late, but now knowing and applying therapy techniques my life has greatly improved. I hope this little girl experiences a wonderful life and doesn't let her diagnosis define or limit her. 🥰
That little girl broke my goddamn heart
I was diagnosed with ADHD and motor tics in my late 20s. I'm now 44.
I remember in grade school, I would walk around the very outside perimeter of the classroom, fully realizing that it was an unusual thing to do, but unable to stop myself doing it - it was just very satisfying.
Homework didn't just feel difficult, it felt IMPOSSIBLE.
I would frequently be awake until 2AM, just gripping my pencil and sitting in front of a blank page until the time remaining before class reduced to the point where I could JUST get enough done to turn in an assignment... So at around 2-3AM, I would suddenly have a breakthrough, start writing, and wouldn't stop for 2 hours, crash, sleep for 2-3 hours, get up and turn the assignment in, getting a decent grade. It was bizarre. One nightz I made a 14" tall castle out of clay, with detailed bricks, grass texture, 2 towers with detailed roofs and windows, because my project was late and the LAST day given by my teacher was that day.
My teacher didn't even believe I had done it, and thought my mom did everything, yes, she helped a tiny bit, but all the obsessive details and absurd size were my own (other students houses were less than half that size). My mom was also a high school art teacher, so I was WELL familiar with how to work with clay, paint, drawing, etc.
Impossible to do small boring things, then the hyperfocus hits and I massively over-do it.
Another very informative vid, though the music was a tad loud in the beginning. Thanks for posting!
Thanks for the comment KC. Sorry about that! I got some new speakers and the audio isn’t well calibrated. Will use my headphones next time!!
I honestly related to the little girl a lot. I was just diagnosed about a month ago and started my first try at meds 3 days ago. When asked questions, she gave very non-committal answers. She would say things like "I don't know," or "sometimes." I've always been so terrified of making the "wrong" decision, so I often take forever to decide or dont decide at all. I don't know if thats related to ADHD or not, but I related to her so much lol
Struggling to make decisions big and small is definitely part of it - and then impulsive decisions may come about in other settings
As someone hoping to head into medicine in 2023 as a mature age student with an interest in mental health, I really appreciate all the informative content! 🇦🇺
My son has an ADHS and AS
He is nine years old
It always helpful to see contents like this
Thanks ❤
For someone who only just discovered I have adhd at 50, I wish I had known decades ago so I could get treatment.
Probably isn’t a good idea to have music playing in the background. It was hard to listen to you even though I was hanging off every word. Love your work. Greetings from Brisbane.
I got really emotional during this because that little girl was me 17 years ago, like I presented exactly the same and now I’m 22 and struggle so much. I finally got a diagnosis at 20 years old, and am now medicated, but somethings will never leave me, like social interactions that are painfully awkward at times, difficulty fitting in, and havingg issues with work and self esteem. It’s painful, and seriously debilitating at times. And being a girl, I was pretty good academically, so I got my RN degree at 20 yrs but now in my nursing career I’m struggling significantly with task management and decision making and so I see myself as a failure and I am often pointed out by my superiors for many errors, a lot quite insignificant. Now getting the help I need to improve on this, but all this to say that children like this need more ressources and support to really thrive as adults ❤
I was like that little girl. My mom said if she had known about it back then, she would have gotten me treated. My middle son has it severely, I made sure to get him help because there were so many more resources available.
I just want to say how cool it is that you asked people who don't like the video to give feedback. I'm sure lots of people would just move on as well, but who knows.
Also, I so relate to that little girl...
Haven't finished the video yet but wanted to give some feedback before I forget. The music around 3.30-4.00 is around the same level as your voice and can be a little distracting.
Is that a new intro with the cartoon animation? I really like it.
Ahh sorry about that! I got some new speakers and the audio isn’t well calibrated. Will use my headphones next time!! You’re not the only one to point it out Simon. Thanks for the feedback!
Agreed, the music got alittle too loud and distracting
this video actually made me cry and think about all the things I had and have to deal with. having adhd and bipolar, not to mention a bunch of other health problems, has effect my life in too many ways. as an adult(33) im still learning and struggling. this video makes me think of all the things this girl is gonna have to go thru(having adhd) in life and it hurts. its great when you get diagnosed, but it doesn't mean it necessarily helps. understanding yourself as an adult is good but when you're a kid sometimes labels make thing worse.
I think the most frustrating thing with ADHD is the lack of knowledge all around even though there is so much new information we have learned the last couple of decades. Combine this with the lack of people that actually do assessments and you get a system with multiple year long waiting periods where it becomes almost impossible to even get diagnosed.
It feels very strange when there are ~5 places in your area that are supposed experts that do the diagnosis and every single one of them has completely inaccurate on their web sites. I believe I have been trying for four years now without ever even getting on any wait list.
So unfortunately for lot of us self diagnosing becomes some kind of a necessity. It will not get us the proper treatment, though.
Oh and I'm living in Germany, where the public health system isn't even bad. So I can't even imagine how it works in other places of the world... O.O
It's the same shit in Switzerland. "But you were good in school and have a good life". Well yes thank you, there are many successful adhders out there. 🙈😆
Yeah, like... I have had issues with inattention, lack of time control, explosive emotional outbursts, extreme anxiety, executive paralysis, etc., etc., etc., for my entire life. I was reprimanded by authority figures for losing my temper in elementary school, middle school, high school, university, and at work in my thirties. I turned in every major university assignment at or over the wire after hours and hours and hours and hours sat scrolling through fanfiction in the computer lab, waiting for the situation to get urgent enough that I could make myself start working on the actual assignment. I had NO friends in elementary school, about two in middle school, two or three in high school, and gradually more and more after that as I got better at masking and finding like-minded souls. I was never invited to parties. I was never cool. I had weird facial tics that made people think there was something seriously wrong with me. I talked too much, interrupted teachers, put off major homework assignments till the night before and minor ones till two minutes before they were due. I have spent whole three-day weekends doing sweet fuck-all but scrolling websites and reading fanfic, gorging on junk food and not talking to a single soul. I didn't even START to get a grip on any of this until the supervisor who chewed me out in my thirties told me I "needed to get a grip on my anxiety or whatever" and I actually started looking into mental disorders. And then, a few years later, I read how ADHD manifested differently in many women, saw that I had almost all the symptoms of the inattentive type, started looking into management strategies, and found my whole world changing.
My sister is diagnosed and medicated. She and my dad had the same symptoms I do, but much worse: executive paralysis, picking up and dropping tons of hobbies, inability to keep a house clean, explosive tempers. My brothers have some of the symptoms, too, but my sister and I got them the worst. I could go for a formal diagnosis, and would love to do it somedaym but it would be expensive and time-consuming and complicated, and the only actual benefit (since I'm not seeking medication) would be validation. But since I don't have that piece of paper, I can't really talk about the challenges I experience (and am overcoming) without people like this guy being like, "NO ONE can diagnose themselves. Unless a trained psychiatrist tells you you have it, and you have a signed piece of paper telling you you have it, you don't have it." Like... if I get a sore throat and a headache and start coughing and sneezing, and my symptoms persist for 7-10 days, I don't TECHNICALLY have a cold, right? No physician diagnosed it, so there's no way to know for sure. But the symptoms are there. Sure, it could be allergies, or COVID, or something totally different, but given the symptoms and the circumstances it's not unreasonable to assume it's a cold.
Sorry for writing a book. I have a feeling OP wouldn't take this particularly seriously, but I wanted to get it out anyway. :P
ADHD at its best:
The louder string music started to play at around 2:30, I realized that my focus was dying down quicker than I could follow mentally, and I could only manage to continue watching until 2:50 because that's when it became completely overwhelming for my brain. Maybe because of focus, attention, auditory sensory issues mixed together, but the dopamine that I had going into this (because yay, learning more about my lifelong disability) stopped right then and there - and now I cannot bring myself to continue watching the video. Literally the more I try to motivate myself to do it, my brain pushes it further away from me.
ADHD’er and autistic from Greenland here. First of all thank you for your videos. I come from from a giant family, ALL with ADHD and/or autism (my children as well). Our observation and experiences tells us the main problem is not having ADHD. It’s the perception of how people are supposed to be, the social structures are suitable for neurotypical people, there’s not enough tolerance to the fact that we inevitably are all different and can contribute with a vast variety of different skills and ways of thinking and acting. My favorite people are neurospicy individuals that can offer different perspectives of life.
Yes! I'm also AuDHD and we are not the problem, there is nothing wrong with us. The problem is the lack of accommodations
My girlfriend and family members are the only people in the world I don't rigidly mask with, and it's just night and day how different it is to be myself. The vast majority of people I know professionally think I'm a rock-hard uppity-tight bitch with no sense of humor, because if I relax enough to joke with people I always start talking a little too fast and smiling a little too wide and see their faces change and watch them step back... so I stay very reserved when I'm interacting with people socially, so as to be ABLE to interact with people socially. Everyone who knows me at home knows that I'm silly and giggly and weird and cuddly and sing weird songs to the cats and chase the dog around the house and scream and yell and stamp my feet and kick things when I'm frustrated, and at work it's like, "There goes McGonagall..." A big part of why women are underdiagnosed, probably...
As an adult with inattentive adhd I had difficulty listening to this video because of the background music!
I love your videos...ive learnt a lot. I work with high school children with autism and intellectual disabilities...
When the girl was talking about 'giving ' her mom 'attitude' she was speaking in a way with much more emotional maternity. She understood why she felt that way. A lot of time we take children to have just surface level and eradicate emotional states.
here the interpretation is more=hyperactivity = activity as movement - but activity can aswell mean contracting(active muscles but no movement) or stretching.
at 12:30 you can see her pinching her index with the nail of her thumb - dont overlook these thing. would be good to see the legs too. i do a lot of pretzeling of my toes/rubbing my toes in my shoe/pressure to the sole/clenching of the toes or crossing legs then putting pressure. Sometimes when i sit i rest most of my weight just one big toe or do toe stretches.
Last week some chatty repairman was here and i couldnt eject so i was leaning on the wall with one arm (lookes casual from the outside) but i put alot of pressure on a small area of the hand/forearm/elbow and the back muscles are active (instead of casual leaning where you just touch a bit) just to survive the chat.
"Just to survive the chat" - never read anything like this before when reading about adhd symptoms but I experience and struggle with the exact same thing.
Hi!! I love your videos- especially this one since I was diagnosed with adult adhd. That said, please consider tuning down the music as it’s hard to drown that out over your speech. Thank you!
Thank you for another great video! I loved the introduction of the critieras in the beginning but i lacked information on how adhd presents differently in males and females. The girl in the video for example showed more of the symptoms related to females with adhd and these symptoms are often overlooked as symptoms of anxiety and depression instead of the more internal hyper activity that usually presents in girls/females.
Yes, this!
Another note on the little girl with ADHD.. For me when I was young I was punished a lot for my hyperactive behaviors, I also got bullied a lot, so at a young age I learned that there are situations where I have to 'be on my best behavior' which meant to quiet myself. I think that's what's happening with this girl.
If I was somewhere for long enough eventually my ability to quiet myself would vanish, so if a psychologist only spoke to me for one hour every 2 weeks there isn't a big chance they'd get to see my ADHD symptoms on full display, only my family really got to see it day in day out, even at school I was able to bottle it up and then once I'd come home all that pressure would release and I'd show those signs of hyperactivity.
This definitely is more true for women with ADHD, we get shamed for our behavior far more and being loud, 'wild' and very active isn't generally encouraged.
For young girls I'd say the biggest signs that they have ADHD are;
A messy room, avoiding homework if possible, talking a lot/very fast, cycling through interests/hobbies very rapidly.
Things like fidgeting, aggression, running around/being a wild child.. Those are the things people think of immediately when you say ADHD, but those are not as commonly seen or noticed in girls. And suppressing that to fit other people's expectations definitely catches up to you later in life.
I'm undiagnosed due to adhd diagnosis costing an arm and a leg in Australia rn, but I experience every single one of those symptoms in a highly pronounced way. I'm a HD average student and a huge perfectionist. The diagnosis was missed when I was a child because, as a girl, I was very inattentive and shy. Life with adhd is really hard tbh regardless of how well we do.
I have ADHD and the music was a bit loud and made it hard to concentrate,kinda funny but I really want to hear your information. Thanks love your channel 👍🏻
My son has ADHD. It didn't exist when I was young. It's definitely hard but the more I understand the disorder the easier it is to deal with him.
So when my stepmom noticed that I had issues with speech, concentration, sitting still for a long time. She found with some structure, routine and occupational therapy the obvious behaviours sorted themselves out. But I was still very impulsive and impatient, and I struggled to make friends with my peers through out school. I found that I could learn well within a structured and calm classroom environment, but no matter how hard I tried, studying at home or do any homework was a nightmare for me. So the grades would average out.
I know being a girl means I would not have been considered for ADHD as a kid and my parents had no clue what it was.
My behaviour was just considered to be different and sometimes unfavourable, but generally who I was. I would constantly lose things and I was super clumsy. I would even leave my chronic meds at home before going on holiday.
I do have an underactive thyroid but the tests generally always come out as being within range. So it’s not likely to be
Every time I’ve tried to study, no matter how interested I am in the topic, it’s like running up a hill. It requires so much energy, I struggle to understand what I’m expected to do/say, and I often end up having reread the same text over and over again. Sometimes I move forward in course material to the practical stuff, struggle a little and then go back to the theory, do some practical and then go to the theory, til I’ve finished the course.
Funny how you said don't lose their phone. I was a kid who always lost my phone 😂. Once it was in the compartment of the car door. Forgot I put it there and had to get a new phone. Months later found it.... Also makes me thing that maybe my phone was not stolen during my school trip to Germany 🤦🏼♀️ and just put it down. Google nest is the best for when phone was lost around the house.
Adult with ADHD and I still have urges to climb things when it's not appropriate I just don't do it cause ill be embarrassing. Hope I'm not the only one
how come in the 100 or so kids that were in my grade there wasn't a single\ one that displayed these symptoms? There were dumb kids, bored kids (me), antisocial hoodlums, but no "having seizers watching anime" kids, no noticeably autistic kids and no one with an expressed ADHD symptoms.?
I just discovered your channel today, but you better believe I subscribed! This was really interesting. I am an adult with ADHD, anxiety and depression, but wasn't diagnosed with it until I was about 30 years old. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had my parents gotten me diagnosed with any of it as a child. Great video!
Side note: I'm friends with one of my former bosses, who, a full decade later, told me she thought I was doing things on purpose to get out of doing my work, but I genuinely wasn't aware that I was doing anything wrong. It was definitely the ADHD manifesting in destructive ways that I didn't understand at the time.
I have actual quite severe adhd. I get extremely frustrated these days when ppl throw around the term, about how they may have it, but yet they are doing well socially, academically, at work. It’s an executive dysfunction. I have it and I didn’t get my diagnosis until adulthood but there was always something wrong, ppl noticed I was different, I had organisational problems, brain fog.. but I didn’t know the brain fog was an issue until I got meds for the first time which was some anxiety, am SSRI. I get asking for help from uni psychologists cuz I was having trouble keeping up at uni… they just kept telling me to take deep breaths. Then misdiagnosed with a mood disorder, many many yrs later after having cared for many many ppl with bipolar there was absolutely no way I had that or related to those ppl. I had told the Drs for yrs I have always spoke fast, then one day a go said I think u have adhd, eventually I got recommended psychometric testing to get disability support services when I applied for post grad. I did undergrad over 5 yrs, I withdrew from subjects cuz I had time management issues, but getting post grad was encouraged by work, I ended up not completing post grad but finally ending up with an adhd specialist and on stimulants helped me.Getting a good psychiatrist who understood neurodiversity but also corroborated my school report cards and with my mum, it validated I’m adhd. My primary school report cards was the dsm 3 for 90’s add criteria, it even mentioned I make careless mistakes, constant talking and disrupting, that I needed to organise my thoughts so I could speak more clearly… I had signs of a verbal dysfluency but nobody helped me at school, they gave me A’s for effort then b’s and c’s. How a kid be trying so hard but failing 🤦♀️ I was was failed on by the school system
i was exactly like at girl as a child, I got diagnosed at 13. this video was heartbreaking and you really do seem to be missing a lot
That child is just like I was at that age. I'm getting an evaluation next week at age 45 :) I was evaluated at 5 yrs old, but they couldn't figure out what I had in 1983 ;)
Hi. I'm subscribed and enjoy your vids. I'd like to offer some feedback regarding the ambient music in this vid. I like the tunes, but the volume is a bit high for me. I'm catching myself going between your words and the tunes. Is this one of the tests for ADHD?😂
Thanks for the feedback. When i did the levels I used my crappy 20 dollar computer speakers instead of my headphones which are much better for that kind of thing. Won't happen again! Thank you so much for the sub and the comment Rees
I am diagnosed with ADD at the age of 40. Before that I got the label, chronical depression. I am missing the H. Not because it is not there, but because it is so intense, that my brain can't handle it. I was always the sweet silent boy. Nobody ever knew what was happening in my head. Even I didn't understand. All I knew was that I could not concentrate on anything, unless there were no triggers around me. After the diagnoses, I often get the comment, that I must be lucky, not to have the Hyper part. They don't understand that it's the hardest part of having ADD. That the Hyper is so bad, that all thoughts fire at the same time, just making noise. So it's not coming out. The Hyper is only in my head. So no symptom others can see on the outside. I feel for that girl. I was the same. To a degree that the bullying, became physical abuse. Something my brain could not compute on top of all other problems, and resulted in PTSD. I hope the girl, did find out at some point, that she is not alone. And for all struggling at this moment. I am now 55 years old. I am still here. ADHD may be hard. But it is also a superpower. We always will find a way to make things better. If we just understand what is happening in our head. Stay strong! 🤗
Thanks for the video, it's so nice that you put out this content and that you enjoy doing it so much :) Just as a little tip, for someone who has ADHD and autism it is super hard to concentrate on what you're saying with the music in your video being so loud. I personally don't like music while someone is talking but perhaps lowering the volume a little might be a compromise ;) Thanks again
I've been suspecting for a while that I may have ADHD (I will be seeking a professional assessment) and your explanation at around 2:35 makes me feel like crying. Because those are the exact labels that have been put on me my entire life and that I internalised from a young age. Viewing my ADHD symptoms as a biological issue and not as a personal failure has gone a long, long way in me seeking the help I need to manage this condition. Thank you for helping to break down the stigma ❤
Wow. I was that girl (though I am a guy and would've been more likely to be diagnosed as a child, I still present primarily inattentive so it was missed). It does warm my heart that psychology has progressed to the point where it can recognize her struggles. When I was her age, there was no concept that poor attention or inconsistent actions could be explained by anything other than an intentional choice to not care and be "bad". Currently two years into be diagnosed at 28 and still trying to figure it out.
Some really interesting things I noticed:
1. She couldn't answer the question about how long it takes her to do homework. People with ADHD are very prone to distortions in our perception of time. Tasks we don't like can seem exaggeratedly long. My doctor once suggested I time tasks I find insurmountably tedious like emptying the dishwasher. I was certain it would be 10-20 minutes. It was 5 minutes.
2. She sees getting all A's as neutral or uncertain, or potentially that it doesn't matter. Some have hypothesized that ADHD can in part be caused by less dopamine activity, meaning we don't get intrinsic feelings of rewards or accomplishments. When I was a kid, I also got mostly A's because I could focus during high stress things like tests, but my primary emotion upon getting an A was relief that I wouldn't get in trouble. I did then, and still do feel, uncomfortable being praised because I don't have an emotional feeling that I've accomplished things, even if it's objectively true.
3. The thing she likes about herself is that she is religious and her religion is important. I'm not making a comment about religion here specifically, but I think it's interesting that she defined her positive qualities based on her adherence to an external structure. Sometimes we feel a sense of internal inconsistency and have trouble functioning if we don't have a strong external structure in our lives that can help us make decisions and provide us the sense of the continuity that we lack internally. The young boy found positive qualities in himself (his good drawing skills), but the girl's self-assessed most positive quality was that she was apart of an external positive thing. Anecdotally speaking, I'm very active in my union and ADHD seems very over-represented among the most involved members.
You’re missing glaring symptoms from that little girl which is very apparent from your conclusion that she doesn’t “appear” to have adhd. Just because she’s not displaying overtly hyperactive behaviour does not mean she doesn’t have it and this commonly held opinion (based on outdated stereotypes) from doctors is the reason why so many neurodiverse girls fall under the radar, or get misdiagnosed with mental illnesses later in life (particularly personality disorders and bipolar).
Girls with ADHD tend to internalise their feelings and learn to mask their symptoms and mimic social cues they observe in others. Her stiff body and darting eyes convey extreme discomfort and anxiety. Masking takes a huge amount of effort despite it being a subconscious process so it feels very stressful, especially for such a young girl who won’t understand her feelings.
God i want to hug that little girl and tell her she'll be ok 😭 I was bullied for my stims and when I was invited to go into town with some of the girls from school i was so excited but they planned to just leave me there and run off
Oh god i just want to hug that little girl so much!!
Climbing impulse was like personal attack
The little girl whose mind always wandered especially on tougher subjects was me. I was quiet but couldn't concentrate and therefore got missed. That was also a good 40yrs ago when they thought ADHD was only boys. I was bullied often throughout school and just kind of eeked by on most subjects. I did well in things like art and found a lot of science interesting but because I didn't do well in math I didn't progress to higher science classes I would of enjoyed. So sad this kind of stuff happens so often.
Haha the climbing thing really got me. I was diagnosed late so have been thinking back and noticing more and more… my brother and I would drive my mom nuts trying to climb up the door frames not to mention trees 😅
With the boy watching the math video it was very hard for me to pay attention as well but I'd pick at my split ends, draw, sleep which made me look lazy and so no one was ever concerned about me having anything despite struggling in school immensely i always forgot to do my homework or turn it in and relate with the litter girl a lot when it came to self esteem issues and perfectionism at an early age
I’m a new subscriber so sorry if you’ve already covered this but do you have a video on adult ADD and how it’s presented, diagnosed & treated?
Ahahha.. the psychiatrist would need a psychiatrist after evaluating me 😂😂😂😂
is anyone else concerned that the family of the little girl is abusive and causing some of the issues she is having? How does she know she is giving her mom attitude? I can guarantee it is because her mom told her she is giving her attitude. The only thing she could come up with to like about herself is that she likes Jesus? WTF are her parents teaching her? And she said she can be bad sometimes. That is someone feeding her some BS about her being a bad kid. I'd be looking into emotional and verbal abuse if I was her caretaker.
I was led to believe that hyperactivity isnt always physical but can manifest as racing thoughts, the inability to follow a thought or discussion and jumping very quickly from 1 subject to another without finishing.
I have ADHD and I learned how to mask and act „still”, but unfortunately the feeling of hyperactivity in your body doesn’t go away, you still feel tension and I feel like it just turns into frustration and anxiety. If you have a child with ADHD don’t force them not to fidget etc. Do a holistic approach, focusing just on how the child appears outside is hurting them in the long run.
Children running around, jumping and climbing can be stims too, I used to jump in circles and hang upside down because I enjoyed the sensory feedback.
Adhd kids are highly intellegent my daughter is a high fuctioning autistic with adhd.she had a horrible time in school, but she was so smart.She went through absoulte hell.