The overvaluation of sons is spot on, Dr. Ramani. And when the overvalued son is an *only* child of parents who have made that child the center of their world, the stakes are even higher. I know of a situation like this. The son tried to put physical distance between him and his wealthy parents by moving 100 miles away, but 5 years later, the parents moved within a couple of miles of him. They also control him with money. The son has a live-in girlfriend. I feel sorry for both of them. They will never have any peace until the parents are dead and gone. ~ Ladies, I'm telling you....if you find yourself dating a man where these dynamics are present, run for the hills!
The golden child was spoiled in childhood. Many golden children turn into narcissists. I was the golden child until I was around 12/13 and then I became the scapegoat, once I moved in with my narcissistic father. Maybe that saved me from becoming a narcissist myself - who knows? But golden children can be very difficult to deal with. Many of them are perfectionists and obsessive compulsive.
Thank you for talking about the possible narcissism of the golden child, and not just the narcissistic abuse meted out to the spouse of a golden child.
It's hard to say. I think it depends on the personality type. Some people are predisposed. My scapegoated sister was the one who became the narcissist.
Yep my ex was a golden child narcissist. Mother in Law and Step mother in Law was narcissist too. Got the abuse from all sides. Thank you NarcSurvivor for mentioning this. Stay strong. You are not alone. 💕💪I pray for God heals you completely from your recent heart attack in Jesus name I pray.🙏
Oh my gosh, did you ever nail this one. My ex would never take up for me against his narcissistic parents. He didn't see why any snarky remark his mom made about me (I was beneath them) should bother me. I finally got kicked to the curb 27 years in. Best thing my ex ever did. I've been healing for almost 10 years now, and I finally feel like I am regaining my bearings.
My SIL married the golden child who is a raging narcissist himself. Who truly suffers are the children, except of course, the next generation golden child. 😢 My mother blames Everything on my SIL, and she believes this entire fantasy past my brother created of how he was the savior of the family etc. She blames everyone but her husband. It takes toxic to the stratosphere in that house. My brother wrote the scape goat invisible children out of his will. Completely. They are 5 and 7.
And now I get it! I was struggling with double abuse and manipulation because they defended each other and justified every unhealthy behavior because he was used to being treated like a prince, but was not loved from his mother! To keep this dynamic going on he had to always accept what she wanted and allowed her invasive entitlement at our home.😨 And I was double gaslightet!!
100%! Accurate! Joining that family was like walking into a coven of vampires. 🧛 My ex narc MIL went so far as to get involved with my ex’s affair partner and groomed and promoted her to current love, while the family disrespected, devalued and discarded me (12 years of marriage). I had no idea. It was the best thing they ever could’ve done for me because i’ve been free of that psychotic family for a few years now and the transformation of my mental and physical health is dramatically better.
One of the biggest red flag and most selfish and weirdest thing she told me, was that "all the holidays belong to her mother". I responded, "WHAT? SMH, I have parents too. We have to compromise and share the holidays".
Wow…feels like she’s telling my story. I always thought I should have fought harder; but after the math, I realized it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. No matter what or how much you do, you will not satisfy them. There’s always somethings pops up in their head just to hate us.
Very helpful for my healing process! My Ex was not only the golden child from 4 kids, but also a covert N himself! He was from the type that "didn't get it" as I tried to make clear that the inlaws broak all boundaries and could walk in the house whenever they wanted and use him every time! His younger brother was the scapegoat and could get away from the whole toxicity and admitted that the only way possible to live a healthy life was to move to another country with wife and kids. Once again dear Dr.R. your insights are excellent!👏🏼✨️
When you get to know the surrounding family members and realize you've entered into a Den of Vipers . And at a Family Reunion you see the bigger picture ' because you've now discovered that your surrounded by a Brewed of Vipers .
I finally said enough when my ex-husband, whilst pushing his fingers in my face, demanded I took the entire blame for the stress of our marriage. Absolving himself and his family
I married the scapegoat and saw the golden child's marriage be destroyed by a nasty and jealous MiL who I suspected of having Jocasta complex. I've ceased all contact with the MiL because of the way she treated my husband and myself and also encouraging my husband's brother to treat him like the poor relation. Fortunately my husband is fine with it because he sees what I see.
Geez Dr. Ramani, you hit the nail on the head again. Thank you! My in-laws viewed my wife, the only child and golden child (Scapegoat when needed too), as a baby making machine. Her mom wanted her to be a single mom, dependent on her mom (the Narcissistic leader) and just produce grandchildren for her. Her mom even used words to beat around the bush from saying this directly.
I believe my husband is the golden child and I’ve been dealing with issues with my mother-in-law over the last few years. We went on a family trip and that’s when things unravelled. She said some mean things out of the ear shot of my husband and then she said she didn’t mean it that way, and he bought into her manipulations. My husband then saw some further passive aggressive actions from her that’s when he started to notice her behavior. However, my husband and I are implementing boundaries which has been very difficult because of course she doesn’t want to follow boundaries. I went and sat down with her at a counseling session and went over boundaries with her with the counselor so we’ll see how it goes. The situation is still very much a challenge and it’s causing conflict in my marriage. My husband is seeing her covert narcissism but also says he won’t cut all contact with his mom. We are low-contact at this point.
You look absolutely gorgeous today . That sweater that color looks so beautiful on you! Thank you for your videos! My mom was a narcissist and it really affected me so much. I have been to lots of therapy which has helped me understand, but your videos have helped me go deeper and are so helpful❤
It's such a surreal feeling to have an entire extended family join forces to grind you into the dirt. I didn't understand what was happening till I heard an interview about a book on golden children.
my MIL didnt fully show her communal narcissism until i had kids. she is the most covert narc ive ever seen. my hubby is a very loving man that has come a long way but ive almost left many times. he has some of her traits but i believe he chose to be as different from her as he could. he definately decided to marry a woman completely different from his mom. we are finally a team but it is still veryyyyyy hard for him to see what i see. i think he knows more than shares because so painful. he feels guilty for his siblings. the triangulation is something she did all the time but cant anymore now that we're a team. but she does that to everyone else's marriage, even her clients (she's a therapist!!). she knows i know what she is and will never stop trying to violate boundaries and gaslight. shes a compulsive liar as well. she gossips about my FIL to their kids and it is disgusting. her new golden child is my husband's youngest brother who is sadly a complete narc and probably sociopath.
My ex-wife not only attacked our son’s wife, but also his wife’s parents. He finally cut his mother off for good, years ago. No contact. Best thing he ever did for himself and his wife. He also finally figured out and understood why I was a mostly absent father during his childhood. His mother was/is a monster - a destroyer of any and all relationships our son had with others, especially, what had been a beautiful father/son relationship.
What you describe is exactly what happened to me. It is taking time to get over. The family I married into used their religious belief system to gaslight me and blame me for everything that went wrong and plenty went wrong! They found hundreds of ways to let me know I was inferior to them and did not deserve their golden child. I am gradually pulling myself up by my boot straps. Thank you for being here for us, Dr. Ramani!
This is not an informative video, THIS IS A TOOL. Best video ever!! ...and I have watched all of Dr Ramani's videos. Many of them more than 3 times. ❤🎉 For my fellow anxious humans reading this, if you want to start healing and you don't know where to start... this is it. You'll understand all the different flavors of narcissism in one painful lesson. Whether you save your relationship or not, you'll never trip with the same stone again. Big win. I was supposed to be "healed" when I bumped into my now ex husband 😅, but I didn't learn this until we where married. I had all the clues before and didn't put them together 😢 because his love bombing lasted 6 years 🤷♀️ After we got married he just "went back to the pack", I guess.
.. stole the golden goose vibe is so accurate and heartbreaking, they were trapped in a hurricane of foolishness like a tragic sitcom. Unrelenting and menacing 💯😮😬 Thanks for these so informative, I will need to buy & read the book 🙏🏾
This is great, very informative and spot on! And, sometimes the GC becomes a narcissist themselves. Will you also do one about being married to the Scapegoat?
Try being the golden child (now scape goat for not doing with my life what I was told) of a malignant narcissist mother, married to a covert narcisist. My life was hell for the 10 years my relationship lasted. During my divorce, I saw a video of Dr Ramani and finally understood what I was going trough. Life is still hard. But at least now, at the age of 42, I know what I'm facing.
doctor ramani i just wanted to tell you how thankful i am for your videos. if it wasn‘t for them i would‘ve never left my abusive relationship and i still would‘ve prolly suffered to this day. please keep making these videos, you‘re an angel❤️ thank you for being the voice for people who are afraid to speak up
My goldenchild sister and her husband always treated me as a liar and disrespectull against my narcisstic mom,when I understood eveything.I went no contact
My ex was the golden boy of his whole family (and, surprise! turned out to be a raging narcissist himself), but especially his insanely narcissistic grandfather. I met his grandpa when I was in college and it felt like a job interview meets police interrogation. The man grilled me about my resume and family history and earning potential and religion. Despite me having better grades and family stability than my ex, his grandpa told him to dump me because I would hold him back and was probably going to get pregnant to “lock him down and steal his family name” 😆Thank God that relationship didn’t last.
Yeah, I would imagine so. Thankfully, the trauma bond is broken. There is no love left. However, it can get complicated with these family systems because of the nature of what they are.
Amazing how poorly the 90s sitcoms have aged, eh? 😂 Back then her awful MIL was hilarious and the abuse went right over everyone's heads. (That said, I did find it very clever that in the much less toxic sitcom _The Middle,_ Doris Roberts once again played a woman who hated Patricia Heaton's character. I thought it was a nice Easter egg for "those in the know"😄)
Dang - yup I married a first born son who is a golden child , played a very strong leadership role in his family It’s been a long, slog. They pretty much didn’t even acknowledge me when visiting our place even after making food and coffee. My hubs didn’t notice Now I don’t care any more and just try to work the days he goes to Visit for holidays. It’s been a slog For sure . All you talked about happened
The parents have only boy children, his the golden last born child , we go to church together, the parents used to say such horrible things about me -because I’m beneath them- he is a narcissist himself, I eventually broke things off with him 3 months ago. I feel so disgusted seeing them at church , very nasty people pretending to be nice. We lived together at his house for a few months, whenever I went home for the weekend and the parents visited him, when I return, I’d arrive to the mother completely rearranged the house and decorated with things from her house, it got to me so much , he didn’t see anything wrong but how would he when he was exactly like her. When I broke up with him I told him to marry his mother because no woman would ever stand to be with a man-child like him , two faced, narcissistic, mommy’s boy man. I cried every week living with him, if a few days went by and I was happy he would make sure tears fall down my face and weirdly he got aroused from seeing me upset…disgusting really.
This video has been a game-changer for me, offering clarity on the issues surrounding my marriage. I am thankful for the wealth of knowledge shared, which has helped me find answers to the questions I had. 👍🙏
My narcissistic golden child brother got married to a sweet, meek woman. I've been no contact for 8 years with all of them, but I still feel bad for her. I often wonder if she would trust me or believe me if I reached out to check up on her, but being the scapegoated adult child I think she's already been told a lot of untrue stuff about me. So I just let it be. It's hard to watch good people get vampirized away by these empty, cruel sadists. PS: Love the new set up! Just a thought, is it just me or the audio tends to be only on the left speaker? It wasn't like that before, but it felt like that the last couple of vids.
I have also just sat and watched the inevitable happen to a lovely women who became a member of my in-laws family. She unfortunately went down all the rabbit holes, tolerated alcohol abuse and tried to fix the marriage by having kids. So VERY sad to watch all this play out exactly as you know it would!
Wow. Yeah. I was made to believe I was the problem for having boundaries with my inn laws. I refused family together with them for ten years. They insisted I was controlling even though I always encouraged my partner to go with them -- I just wasn't go to subject myself to it. My partner had glimpses but never stood to them for me. Ultimately our relationship ended ...
broke my family up..now, I know what it's called..I have been asking myself "why"..now, I get it..thank you..please talk about communal narcissism too..
Throughout my 39 years of life, my narcissistic father has assigned me different roles based on his moods, my achievements/failure, and how obedient or rebellious I was toward him. At different times, I have been the golden child, the scapegoat, and the invisible child. Despite this, and despite the fact that for the past three years I have adopted gray rocking and then no contact strategies, my husband has been experiencing all these complexities from my parents. He has been accused of stealing me away from my family, of being unworthy of me and my family, of preventing me from having a relationship with my family, of being stingy, of having parents who are not respectable people, of coming from a family of beggars, and of marrying me out of greed. At every opportunity he has had, my father has made such remarks about my husband and his family, and he continues to do so. My husband and I saw no choice but to completely cut ties with my family and avoid becoming entangled in my father’s psychological manipulations.
Dr. Ramani can i ask you something, what if you realize after 20+ year of marriage that your husband was a golden child and himself a narcissist. You and some other people here on the you tube has given me strength to recognize, accept and break away. Trying to break away, long way to go and an extremely painful one as children are involved. You all are saviors❤
Dr Ramani, As always I learned so much! Your Expertise is unparalleled: You cover Every Scenario, Talk at a pace to cover Miles in one Session in such a way that I can understand & Grasp Easily! You are such a Great Blessing! Thank You, ever Kindly! 🙏🏻 Blessings! ☀️💕🕊🍃
Years ago when I watched the movie _Monster-in-Law,_ I thought it was ridiculously unrealistic that the son be so BLIND to his mother's toxic craziness. He was written as this ditzy handsome guy who just wrote his mother off as "a little difficult," completely dismissing the hell she was putting his fiancee through (spoiler: at one point she even does severe bodily harm to the daughter-in-law). This video made me think back to that romcom and realise that he was her Golden Child! Her little blue-eyed boy, forever Mummy's. As you alluded to, Dr Ramani, in the movie of course it all ends well. But IRL the marriage would have been an absolute mess from the get-go. Maybe I'll go watch that again just for fun, lol.
My narcissistic mother hated all my partners. There is no one good enough for her golden child. She thinks she owns me and that I should be living with her, and doing everything she wants. I'm 42 and I'm so tired.
Going through this now. Been married almost 20 years to a covert narcissist and I identified the manipulative/abusive behaviors in his mom first. Playing the victim, ignoring boundaries, faux apologies, etc. It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I realized he did the same things except it’s more insidious. I’ve never felt supported by him when it comes to his family. He pretended to set boundaries with them but he was always way too soft. He always takes credit for any gifts, cards, etc. I send them for holidays so he looks like the good guy while simultaneously excluding me/preventing me from building a relationship. Now that the mask is off, he all of a sudden wants to build a relationship with his parents and takes our kids to visit them, against my wishes, as passive aggressive punishment to me.
With one right now!! BUT!! he has set boundaries with his family, especially his parents!! I told him about my concerns regarding his overbearing mother and other red flags. I let him know, I'm not puttinf up with none of it! He gets it!! He even confided in me that his mother makes him sick. So we limit our time with them!! We don't disclose anything personally to them regarding our lives..we just tell them we are busy working!!!! We protect each other and are each other's safe place. He is sept 14 , i am sept 12, virgos, both givers, former ppl pleasers and givers..now we choose to put ourselves amd each other FIRST and won't let extended families on either end mess up what we got going. We protect our relationship as if it's a new born baby!! I told him, I'm not marrying into his mother's family, I'm getting together with him for us to start our own family!!! I'm not under nobody in your family!! We decide how they can be involved in our lives, not the other way around.
It's very difficult to prioritize our own wellbeing while navigating such in-laws. Add loneliness to this while being in the relationship. They're never there for you.
Oh yes, I married the narcissistic golden child of a narcissist family. Mother in law was a kind empath but very easily manipulated by her narcissistic daughter (my sister in law). That woman (sister in law) has caused me unbelievable pain over the years until my husband finally agreed to go no contact with said sister in law. This was only after my dear mother in law died. My mother had tried to warn me about that family 😢
This video is a God send! It explains my situation perfectly as my spouse is the golden child. Unfortunately he only understands everything to an extent but I keep praying hard he sees the full truth more and more. He does stand up for me here and there and understands I come first but at the same time tries to play both sides. My MIL has emotionally and psychologically abused me for years and it definitely got worse after having kids. My MIL also wore a similar white dress to my wedding. I just hope there's light at the end of this what seems like an impossible situation.
Try being married to the scapegoat. I straight out told my husband if we get divorced, it will be because of his family. My scapegoat husband is doing better in life than his goldenchild brother.
I love that you left the 20:24 outtake/fumbled read in the video. :-) It made me smile. All of your videos are fantastic- great information that has helped me greatly. Two thumbs up!
As expected, another insightful video, Dr. Ramani, thank you. In addition to Dr. Ramani’s book, I recommend The Emotional Incest Syndrome by Patricia Love and When He’s Married to Mom by Kenneth Adams.
Absolutely true the golden child. My mother in law was the worst woman I have ever met in life. She was horrible, mean , manipulative, vindictive, absolute control with her son. He would never stand up to her. I have always suspected they had a thing going on. He was adopted. It was a sick relationship.
To add to my comment, I am impressed that my husband and his brother do not harbor anger toward their mother for the lack of equal treatment. The golden child sister is a spoiled brat adult and we value our family over money. The brothers are helping out the scapegoat sister, but the go!den child sister won't give her a dime. My husband supports distancing ourselves from this self centered sister. We refuse to allow her to control our decisions.
Through experience, I had to endure with my ex’s narcissistic mother. I wanted to marry my ex. However, when they were together, I would be treated like I wasn’t even there. It’s like my ex had a mask on with me but when the mom is present another mask is present. My ex discard me but tried to return. I realized that the cycle of her and her mother will always continue. I came at peace with her decision. She wasn’t the golden child but she was the youngest one. In my opinion, is the worse to be in a relationship that has a narcissist mother.
I find that u, dr Ramani, put all of those experiences so well into words and clear breakdowns, something I've tried so often, but I think the confusion , denial and guilt, kind of pulled me away from expressing this clearly. So, again, your podcasts are a daily cup of coffee .are of protection narcissism 🫘 beans. Thank u for your good work.
I married the "rebel". I was very young. But I am seeing a pattern where I get into relationships with covert malignant narcissists. They collect vulnerable people. My illness makes me vulnerable. So I'm working on this right now.
My husband has four older siblings. His mother glorified both sisters until one fell off the pedestal. The other sister was the golden child. She is divorced with two adult daughters. Although she had a job, her mother paid most of her bills and bought her a house! My husband and his brother worked their way through college and have successful careers. The brothers get along great and they both spent a tremendous amount of time helping their aging mother. Golden child sister never hosted a holiday. My brother-in-law's wife and I hosted holidays for over 30 years, mainly to show goodwill and make holidays happy for all our children. After my MIL passed I decided to do holidays only if convenient. The golden child sister has a fit every time I cannot do a holiday. I tell her no and she calls my husband to complain. When I ask her to host, she becomes angry and refuses. She is insufferable, and my husband agrees. My MIL left the go!den chi!d sister TBE lion's share of her will, and left the scapegoat sister nothing.
My ex realized that her mom is a narc, she went no contact but after 2 years she re-established contact with her mom. In the end she became and acted like her mom. Now we are divorcing and our 4 year old daughter is living with this mentally ill family.
You just described my ex in laws to a tee. It was a nightmare! He’s 42 years old and back in his childhood room because they won’t make him accountable for anything even though they clearly see his life is a mess. He doesn’t take care of his kids but I’m sure I’m to blame for all of it.
Dr Ramani I think especially when the golden child came from a wealthy family and their narcissistic family system believe that they must marry someone of similar wealth and status in order to qualify to marry into their family because your marriage must be beneficially to their family.
I grew up as golden child because I diligently applied all my talents. Opera, dancing, acting, arts. My sister the scapegoat because she did meth. When I converted to Hinduism I immediately became the scapegoat at age 29 and my sister the golden child. I had to move 500-1000 miles away from the dynamic. I’m also the truth teller and had begun therapy at age 20 on my own to cope with my family even as a golden child. Both parents narcs and my sister admits to being a malignant. I was celibate for 14 years and my Guru has no idea how I came from a family like mine. I high tailed it out. Applied my discipline of the arts to sadhana and had samadhi at 22 with it a guru and again at 30 with a guru. Nirvikalpi then Savikalpi. Narcissism isn’t in my nature. My guru knows this. Both parents gone now and my sister killed my mom. She hated her but played golden child for 20 years to get inheritance. Talk about messed up. I will have nothing to do with her. I live pretty much alone. I tend to get romantically involved with covert male narcs who only show overt cruelty at the end and then I’m deeply heartbroken and go back to celibacy often time for years.
My narcissistic mother-in-law passed away over 20 years ago. My husband and his siblings think that she is the perfect mother. She was right about everything. She is constantly on their minds. She is constantly remembered and referred to. All of her physical possessions are saved. My husband duplicates everything in our home the way she likes it. My wedding ring set is the same as hers. My husband wants me to wear her perfume scent. He wants me to dress like her, look like her. When he gives me flowers, it is her favorite flower. Our furniture, dishes, and style of our home are the same as hers. We have moved a lot throughout our marriage, and he landscapes every yard to look like hers. We must have the same trees as her property. I can go on, but I think I have made my point. It never gets better. P.S. We met and married far away from his family; he never mentioned them as we were dating. So, be careful when dating.
Ok. I’m almost done with the video…what a journey…! I’ve been in a 10years long battle with my in laws. They blame me for EVERYTHING. We almost broke up after getting engaged, couldn’t even have a wedding, and the MIL still tries to get my husband’s attention by lying that she’s “dying”. Not gonna lie, it has been such an exhausting journey for me. My husband now sees how toxic his parents are, and is ready to FINALLY cut them off after they decided to turn him into a scapegoat. But I must say, I will always, always fear the day that he chooses his family instead, and if that happens, I’m ready to leave. I am still hopeful though…fingers crossed.
Now you tell me! Well, I've gotta say this is the most enlightening and validating video I've ever watched. Luckily I didn't hear this before I cut the ils out of my life which has worked for me (but it was a horrible process to go through for some years.) It did save my marriage though.
I was ready to put up with my golden child ex's awfully invasive mother, until her husband passed away and she decided to move into her golden son's basement. He dumped me after I asked to set boundaries with her (she was wearing my bathing suit without my consent). I'm thankful he dumped me, it would have been hell.
My older sister is the golden child for our mother and our mother treats my sister’s husband like the golden child as well. He is very manipulative person and (their kids are the golden children as well ). I was and am the scapegoat child always and our mother treats me, my kids and husband very badly. When I understand their behavior, I put my kids and husband first. I still love my mother but the way she treats me is beyond bad. Some people if questioned if she is my biological mother😢.
My sister in law never noticed, as they moved away & across the country. So she’s the golden child daughter. My brother denies our mothers behaviors & our upbringing as abuse and wants me to shut t f up. He and his wife are the ones on speed dial and speaker phone to my abuser.
The overvaluation of sons is spot on, Dr. Ramani. And when the overvalued son is an *only* child of parents who have made that child the center of their world, the stakes are even higher. I know of a situation like this. The son tried to put physical distance between him and his wealthy parents by moving 100 miles away, but 5 years later, the parents moved within a couple of miles of him. They also control him with money. The son has a live-in girlfriend. I feel sorry for both of them. They will never have any peace until the parents are dead and gone. ~ Ladies, I'm telling you....if you find yourself dating a man where these dynamics are present, run for the hills!
The golden child was spoiled in childhood. Many golden children turn into narcissists. I was the golden child until I was around 12/13 and then I became the scapegoat, once I moved in with my narcissistic father. Maybe that saved me from becoming a narcissist myself - who knows? But golden children can be very difficult to deal with. Many of them are perfectionists and obsessive compulsive.
Thank you for talking about the possible narcissism of the golden child, and not just the narcissistic abuse meted out to the spouse of a golden child.
It's hard to say. I think it depends on the personality type. Some people are predisposed. My scapegoated sister was the one who became the narcissist.
golden child-covert religious narc sil
toxic bully antagonist mil
Yep my ex was a golden child narcissist. Mother in Law and Step mother in Law was narcissist too. Got the abuse from all sides. Thank you NarcSurvivor for mentioning this. Stay strong. You are not alone. 💕💪I pray for God heals you completely from your recent heart attack in Jesus name I pray.🙏
I radically accepted that I'm not good enough for some in-laws. It's not my problem to fix their stuff. I just move along.
Oh my gosh, did you ever nail this one. My ex would never take up for me against his narcissistic parents. He didn't see why any snarky remark his mom made about me (I was beneath them) should bother me. I finally got kicked to the curb 27 years in. Best thing my ex ever did. I've been healing for almost 10 years now, and I finally feel like I am regaining my bearings.
My SIL married the golden child who is a raging narcissist himself. Who truly suffers are the children, except of course, the next generation golden child. 😢
My mother blames Everything on my SIL, and she believes this entire fantasy past my brother created of how he was the savior of the family etc. She blames everyone but her husband. It takes toxic to the stratosphere in that house.
My brother wrote the scape goat invisible children out of his will. Completely. They are 5 and 7.
I’m leaving him after 8 years of marriage 😊
@@AmazinglilflowersBe good to you. Stay safe.
And now I get it! I was struggling with double abuse and manipulation because they defended each other and justified every unhealthy behavior because he was used to being treated like a prince, but was not loved from his mother! To keep this dynamic going on he had to always accept what she wanted and allowed her invasive entitlement at our home.😨 And I was double gaslightet!!
Sometimes the golden child joins the parents and talks about the spouse with them.
💯 facts
🎯
Yes
You'll never have a good life with The "Golden Child" unless they cut the proverbial umbilical cord that's attached to the narcissist.
Or their narcissistic friends.
100%! Accurate! Joining that family was like walking into a coven of vampires. 🧛 My ex narc MIL went so far as to get involved with my ex’s affair partner and groomed and promoted her to current love, while the family disrespected, devalued and discarded me (12 years of marriage). I had no idea. It was the best thing they ever could’ve done for me because i’ve been free of that psychotic family for a few years now and the transformation of my mental and physical health is dramatically better.
One of the biggest red flag and most selfish and weirdest thing she told me, was that "all the holidays belong to her mother". I responded, "WHAT? SMH, I have parents too. We have to compromise and share the holidays".
She wishes. 😆
My goodness: that was my former fiancé’s mother. I am so thankful that relationship went south.
Wow…feels like she’s telling my story. I always thought I should have fought harder; but after the math, I realized it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. No matter what or how much you do, you will not satisfy them. There’s always somethings pops up in their head just to hate us.
Very helpful for my healing process! My Ex was not only the golden child from 4 kids, but also a covert N himself! He was from the type that "didn't get it" as I tried to make clear that the inlaws broak all boundaries and could walk in the house whenever they wanted and use him every time! His younger brother was the scapegoat and could get away from the whole toxicity and admitted that the only way possible to live a healthy life was to move to another country with wife and kids. Once again dear Dr.R. your insights are excellent!👏🏼✨️
Also keep in mind that golden child could be playing clueless when they actually know exactly what's happening
A lot of personal stuff here. One is not just marrying a person, but a tribe . . .
In this case a cult.
@@nopereradicator Yes! A _cult_ is so spot on when you look at that weird incestuous vibe and the toxic loyalty.
When you get to know the surrounding family members and realize you've entered into a Den of Vipers . And at a Family Reunion you see the bigger picture ' because you've now discovered that your surrounded by a Brewed of Vipers .
I finally said enough when my ex-husband, whilst pushing his fingers in my face, demanded I took the entire blame for the stress of our marriage. Absolving himself and his family
I married the scapegoat and saw the golden child's marriage be destroyed by a nasty and jealous MiL who I suspected of having Jocasta complex. I've ceased all contact with the MiL because of the way she treated my husband and myself and also encouraging my husband's brother to treat him like the poor relation. Fortunately my husband is fine with it because he sees what I see.
Geez Dr. Ramani, you hit the nail on the head again. Thank you! My in-laws viewed my wife, the only child and golden child (Scapegoat when needed too), as a baby making machine. Her mom wanted her to be a single mom, dependent on her mom (the Narcissistic leader) and just produce grandchildren for her.
Her mom even used words to beat around the bush from saying this directly.
Yes!!! It's like they want them to fail and need to move home with mommy!!!!
I believe my husband is the golden child and I’ve been dealing with issues with my mother-in-law over the last few years. We went on a family trip and that’s when things unravelled. She said some mean things out of the ear shot of my husband and then she said she didn’t mean it that way, and he bought into her manipulations. My husband then saw some further passive aggressive actions from her that’s when he started to notice her behavior. However, my husband and I are implementing boundaries which has been very difficult because of course she doesn’t want to follow boundaries. I went and sat down with her at a counseling session and went over boundaries with her with the counselor so we’ll see how it goes. The situation is still very much a challenge and it’s causing conflict in my marriage. My husband is seeing her covert narcissism but also says he won’t cut all contact with his mom. We are low-contact at this point.
Lord have Mercy I am so finished.
Oh man being married to the golden child was the WORST. He was a narcissist too. So very glad I left, life is really really good now 5 years later.
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do!
Congrats! You're 1st 🥇
You look absolutely gorgeous today
. That sweater that color looks so beautiful on you! Thank you for your videos! My mom was a narcissist and it really affected me so much. I have been to lots of therapy which has helped me understand, but your videos have helped me go deeper and are so helpful❤
This is my story. The validation hurts and heals at the same time
This blue is definitely your colour😍
It's such a surreal feeling to have an entire extended family join forces to grind you into the dirt. I didn't understand what was happening till I heard an interview about a book on golden children.
my MIL didnt fully show her communal narcissism until i had kids. she is the most covert narc ive ever seen. my hubby is a very loving man that has come a long way but ive almost left many times. he has some of her traits but i believe he chose to be as different from her as he could. he definately decided to marry a woman completely different from his mom. we are finally a team but it is still veryyyyyy hard for him to see what i see. i think he knows more than shares because so painful. he feels guilty for his siblings. the triangulation is something she did all the time but cant anymore now that we're a team. but she does that to everyone else's marriage, even her clients (she's a therapist!!). she knows i know what she is and will never stop trying to violate boundaries and gaslight. shes a compulsive liar as well. she gossips about my FIL to their kids and it is disgusting. her new golden child is my husband's youngest brother who is sadly a complete narc and probably sociopath.
Doesn’t the golden child have some degree of Narcissism? They must have to engage with and still benefit from the family dynamics.
My ex-wife not only attacked our son’s wife, but also his wife’s parents. He finally cut his mother off for good, years ago.
No contact.
Best thing he ever did for himself and his wife. He also finally figured out and understood why I was a mostly absent father during his childhood. His mother was/is a monster - a destroyer of any and all relationships our son had with others, especially, what had been a beautiful father/son relationship.
Thank you, @DoctorRamani !! This video filled-in a missing gap that I didn't understand about my situation.
Me too, and I thought I'd learned about every angle already.
What you describe is exactly what happened to me. It is taking time to get over. The family I married into used their religious belief system to gaslight me and blame me for everything that went wrong and plenty went wrong! They found hundreds of ways to let me know I was inferior to them and did not deserve their golden child. I am gradually pulling myself up by my boot straps. Thank you for being here for us, Dr. Ramani!
This is not an informative video, THIS IS A TOOL.
Best video ever!! ...and I have watched all of Dr Ramani's videos. Many of them more than 3 times.
❤🎉 For my fellow anxious humans reading this, if you want to start healing and you don't know where to start... this is it. You'll understand all the different flavors of narcissism in one painful lesson. Whether you save your relationship or not, you'll never trip with the same stone again. Big win.
I was supposed to be "healed" when I bumped into my now ex husband 😅, but I didn't learn this until we where married. I had all the clues before and didn't put them together 😢 because his love bombing lasted 6 years 🤷♀️
After we got married he just "went back to the pack", I guess.
Thank you for this insight.
The weird mother's enmeshment.
The smear campaign
The triangulation
Dr.Ramani Many Thanks!!
Years of sheer hell. I hope I can heal.
You are the best Dr Ramani! I’m learning from you every day ❤
.. stole the golden goose vibe is so accurate and heartbreaking, they were trapped in a hurricane of foolishness like a tragic sitcom. Unrelenting and menacing 💯😮😬
Thanks for these so informative, I will need to buy & read the book 🙏🏾
This is great, very informative and spot on! And, sometimes the GC becomes a narcissist themselves. Will you also do one about being married to the Scapegoat?
Try being the golden child (now scape goat for not doing with my life what I was told) of a malignant narcissist mother, married to a covert narcisist. My life was hell for the 10 years my relationship lasted. During my divorce, I saw a video of Dr Ramani and finally understood what I was going trough. Life is still hard. But at least now, at the age of 42, I know what I'm facing.
doctor ramani i just wanted to tell you how thankful i am for your videos. if it wasn‘t for them i would‘ve never left my abusive relationship and i still would‘ve prolly suffered to this day. please keep making these videos, you‘re an angel❤️ thank you for being the voice for people who are afraid to speak up
Oh yeah, it was always in private with no witnesses.
My goldenchild sister and her husband always treated me as a liar and disrespectull against my narcisstic mom,when I understood eveything.I went no contact
Can you do a video on after you have children With the golden child and toxic in laws pleeease.
THIS!!!
My ex was the golden boy of his whole family (and, surprise! turned out to be a raging narcissist himself), but especially his insanely narcissistic grandfather. I met his grandpa when I was in college and it felt like a job interview meets police interrogation. The man grilled me about my resume and family history and earning potential and religion. Despite me having better grades and family stability than my ex, his grandpa told him to dump me because I would hold him back and was probably going to get pregnant to “lock him down and steal his family name” 😆Thank God that relationship didn’t last.
Yeah, I would imagine so. Thankfully, the trauma bond is broken. There is no love left. However, it can get complicated with these family systems because of the nature of what they are.
Very informative respected Madam!🎉
So this what Debra suffered through with her husband and in-laws on Everybody Loves Raymond. It's also on I Love a Mama's Boy.
Amazing how poorly the 90s sitcoms have aged, eh? 😂
Back then her awful MIL was hilarious and the abuse went right over everyone's heads. (That said, I did find it very clever that in the much less toxic sitcom _The Middle,_ Doris Roberts once again played a woman who hated Patricia Heaton's character. I thought it was a nice Easter egg for "those in the know"😄)
Dang - yup I married a first born son who is a golden child , played a very strong leadership role in his family
It’s been a long, slog. They pretty much didn’t even acknowledge me when visiting our place even after making food and coffee. My hubs didn’t notice
Now I don’t care any more and just try to work the days he goes to
Visit for holidays. It’s been a slog
For sure . All you talked about happened
Me. I clicked so fast! Thank you Dr. Ramani.
The parents have only boy children, his the golden last born child , we go to church together, the parents used to say such horrible things about me -because I’m beneath them- he is a narcissist himself, I eventually broke things off with him 3 months ago. I feel so disgusted seeing them at church , very nasty people pretending to be nice. We lived together at his house for a few months, whenever I went home for the weekend and the parents visited him, when I return, I’d arrive to the mother completely rearranged the house and decorated with things from her house, it got to me so much , he didn’t see anything wrong but how would he when he was exactly like her. When I broke up with him I told him to marry his mother because no woman would ever stand to be with a man-child like him , two faced, narcissistic, mommy’s boy man. I cried every week living with him, if a few days went by and I was happy he would make sure tears fall down my face and weirdly he got aroused from seeing me upset…disgusting really.
This video has been a game-changer for me, offering clarity on the issues surrounding my marriage. I am thankful for the wealth of knowledge shared, which has helped me find answers to the questions I had. 👍🙏
My narcissistic golden child brother got married to a sweet, meek woman. I've been no contact for 8 years with all of them, but I still feel bad for her. I often wonder if she would trust me or believe me if I reached out to check up on her, but being the scapegoated adult child I think she's already been told a lot of untrue stuff about me. So I just let it be. It's hard to watch good people get vampirized away by these empty, cruel sadists.
PS: Love the new set up! Just a thought, is it just me or the audio tends to be only on the left speaker? It wasn't like that before, but it felt like that the last couple of vids.
I have also just sat and watched the inevitable happen to a lovely women who became a member of my in-laws family. She unfortunately went down all the rabbit holes, tolerated alcohol abuse and tried to fix the marriage by having kids. So VERY sad to watch all this play out exactly as you know it would!
Wow. Yeah. I was made to believe I was the problem for having boundaries with my inn laws. I refused family together with them for ten years. They insisted I was controlling even though I always encouraged my partner to go with them -- I just wasn't go to subject myself to it. My partner had glimpses but never stood to them for me. Ultimately our relationship ended ...
Mine ended too I did the same never went
broke my family up..now, I know what it's called..I have been asking myself "why"..now, I get it..thank you..please talk about communal narcissism too..
Throughout my 39 years of life, my narcissistic father has assigned me different roles based on his moods, my achievements/failure, and how obedient or rebellious I was toward him. At different times, I have been the golden child, the scapegoat, and the invisible child.
Despite this, and despite the fact that for the past three years I have adopted gray rocking and then no contact strategies, my husband has been experiencing all these complexities from my parents.
He has been accused of stealing me away from my family, of being unworthy of me and my family, of preventing me from having a relationship with my family, of being stingy, of having parents who are not respectable people, of coming from a family of beggars, and of marrying me out of greed.
At every opportunity he has had, my father has made such remarks about my husband and his family, and he continues to do so. My husband and I saw no choice but to completely cut ties with my family and avoid becoming entangled in my father’s psychological manipulations.
Dr. Ramani can i ask you something, what if you realize after 20+ year of marriage that your husband was a golden child and himself a narcissist. You and some other people here on the you tube has given me strength to recognize, accept and break away. Trying to break away, long way to go and an extremely painful one as children are involved. You all are saviors❤
I’m in the exact same situation
It’s torture. All day, every day 😢
@ErinP79 I am so sorry and feel for you ❤️
Dr Ramani, As always I learned so much! Your Expertise is unparalleled: You cover Every Scenario, Talk at a pace to cover Miles in one Session in such a way that I can understand & Grasp Easily! You are such a Great Blessing! Thank You, ever Kindly! 🙏🏻 Blessings! ☀️💕🕊🍃
Years ago when I watched the movie _Monster-in-Law,_ I thought it was ridiculously unrealistic that the son be so BLIND to his mother's toxic craziness. He was written as this ditzy handsome guy who just wrote his mother off as "a little difficult," completely dismissing the hell she was putting his fiancee through (spoiler: at one point she even does severe bodily harm to the daughter-in-law).
This video made me think back to that romcom and realise that he was her Golden Child! Her little blue-eyed boy, forever Mummy's. As you alluded to, Dr Ramani, in the movie of course it all ends well. But IRL the marriage would have been an absolute mess from the get-go.
Maybe I'll go watch that again just for fun, lol.
Oh, I totally relate with that movie!
My narcissistic mother hated all my partners. There is no one good enough for her golden child. She thinks she owns me and that I should be living with her, and doing everything she wants. I'm 42 and I'm so tired.
Can you cut ties with her?
Going through this now. Been married almost 20 years to a covert narcissist and I identified the manipulative/abusive behaviors in his mom first. Playing the victim, ignoring boundaries, faux apologies, etc. It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I realized he did the same things except it’s more insidious. I’ve never felt supported by him when it comes to his family. He pretended to set boundaries with them but he was always way too soft. He always takes credit for any gifts, cards, etc. I send them for holidays so he looks like the good guy while simultaneously excluding me/preventing me from building a relationship. Now that the mask is off, he all of a sudden wants to build a relationship with his parents and takes our kids to visit them, against my wishes, as passive aggressive punishment to me.
As the invisible child, which was pretty damaging, I think it would be worse to be the golden child. At least it was easier for me to escape.
No
Yep. That's the conclusion many of us have come to.
With one right now!! BUT!! he has set boundaries with his family, especially his parents!! I told him about my concerns regarding his overbearing mother and other red flags. I let him know, I'm not puttinf up with none of it! He gets it!! He even confided in me that his mother makes him sick. So we limit our time with them!! We don't disclose anything personally to them regarding our lives..we just tell them we are busy working!!!! We protect each other and are each other's safe place. He is sept 14 , i am sept 12, virgos, both givers, former ppl pleasers and givers..now we choose to put ourselves amd each other FIRST and won't let extended families on either end mess up what we got going. We protect our relationship as if it's a new born baby!! I told him, I'm not marrying into his mother's family, I'm getting together with him for us to start our own family!!! I'm not under nobody in your family!! We decide how they can be involved in our lives, not the other way around.
0:14 Good luck and we're done 😂..
I love your sense of humour that comes out of a very good understanding of the situation, as painful as it may be...
It's very difficult to prioritize our own wellbeing while navigating such in-laws. Add loneliness to this while being in the relationship. They're never there for you.
Oh yes, I married the narcissistic golden child of a narcissist family. Mother in law was a kind empath but very easily manipulated by her narcissistic daughter (my sister in law). That woman (sister in law) has caused me unbelievable pain over the years until my husband finally agreed to go no contact with said sister in law. This was only after my dear mother in law died.
My mother had tried to warn me about that family 😢
This video is a God send! It explains my situation perfectly as my spouse is the golden child. Unfortunately he only understands everything to an extent but I keep praying hard he sees the full truth more and more. He does stand up for me here and there and understands I come first but at the same time tries to play both sides. My MIL has emotionally and psychologically abused me for years and it definitely got worse after having kids. My MIL also wore a similar white dress to my wedding. I just hope there's light at the end of this what seems like an impossible situation.
She wore that! OMG! I bet people saw through her at least. Oy yoy yoy.
Love your opening remarks with a swipe of your hands . Good Luck . RUN AWAY is about all I can say . As well as right on , Doc . and Thankyou .
Try being married to the scapegoat. I straight out told my husband if we get divorced, it will be because of his family. My scapegoat husband is doing better in life than his goldenchild brother.
I have a picture of my dad holding up my baby brother like the baby lion on the Lion King! 😅 He is spoiled, while I am like the slave!
In my case the golden child my ex is a covert narcassist just like her mother.
I love that you left the 20:24 outtake/fumbled read in the video. :-) It made me smile. All of your videos are fantastic- great information that has helped me greatly. Two thumbs up!
I was like, "Wait. What's happening?" 😀
I love Dr. Ramani!❤❤ endless gems as usual 😊
Wow, I finally get why even if my marriage is at stake, my husband will cave to my sister-in-law.
Great movie for this one is 'Ready or Not' 😎🍿
I just commented about _Monster-in-Law,_ I'll add this one to my watch list too!
As expected, another insightful video, Dr. Ramani, thank you. In addition to Dr. Ramani’s book, I recommend The Emotional Incest Syndrome by Patricia Love and When He’s Married to Mom by Kenneth Adams.
Absolutely true the golden child. My mother in law was the worst woman I have ever met in life. She was horrible, mean , manipulative, vindictive, absolute control with her son. He would never stand up to her. I have always suspected they had a thing going on. He was adopted. It was a sick relationship.
20:25 👍😎 nice way of implying that you can't go back, only forward. I don't even care if I misinterpreted this Easter egg.😊
To add to my comment, I am impressed that my husband and his brother do not harbor anger toward their mother for the lack of equal treatment. The golden child sister is a spoiled brat adult and we value our family over money. The brothers are helping out the scapegoat sister, but the go!den child sister won't give her a dime. My husband supports distancing ourselves from this self centered sister. We refuse to allow her to control our decisions.
Through experience, I had to endure with my ex’s narcissistic mother. I wanted to marry my ex. However, when they were together, I would be treated like I wasn’t even there. It’s like my ex had a mask on with me but when the mom is present another mask is present. My ex discard me but tried to return. I realized that the cycle of her and her mother will always continue. I came at peace with her decision. She wasn’t the golden child but she was the youngest one. In my opinion, is the worse to be in a relationship that has a narcissist mother.
I find that u, dr Ramani, put all of those experiences so well into words and clear breakdowns, something I've tried so often, but I think the confusion , denial and guilt, kind of pulled me away from expressing this clearly.
So, again, your podcasts are a daily cup of coffee .are of protection narcissism 🫘 beans.
Thank u for your good work.
Dr. Ramani, God bless you. Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🤲🤲🤲
I married the "rebel". I was very young. But I am seeing a pattern where I get into relationships with covert malignant narcissists. They collect vulnerable people. My illness makes me vulnerable. So I'm working on this right now.
My husband has four older siblings. His mother glorified both sisters until one fell off the pedestal. The other sister was the golden child. She is divorced with two adult daughters. Although she had a job, her mother paid most of her bills and bought her a house! My husband and his brother worked their way through college and have successful careers. The brothers get along great and they both spent a tremendous amount of time helping their aging mother. Golden child sister never hosted a holiday. My brother-in-law's wife and I hosted holidays for over 30 years, mainly to show goodwill and make holidays happy for all our children. After my MIL passed I decided to do holidays only if convenient. The golden child sister has a fit every time I cannot do a holiday. I tell her no and she calls my husband to complain. When I ask her to host, she becomes angry and refuses. She is insufferable, and my husband agrees. My MIL left the go!den chi!d sister TBE lion's share of her will, and left the scapegoat sister nothing.
What about if the golden child is also a covert narcissist?
I was married to a narcissistic golden child with similarly narcissistic in-laws 😅 The ultimate stage of this situation
My ex realized that her mom is a narc, she went no contact but after 2 years she re-established contact with her mom. In the end she became and acted like her mom. Now we are divorcing and our 4 year old daughter is living with this mentally ill family.
You just described my ex in laws to a tee. It was a nightmare! He’s 42 years old and back in his childhood room because they won’t make him accountable for anything even though they clearly see his life is a mess. He doesn’t take care of his kids but I’m sure I’m to blame for all of it.
Dr Ramani I think especially when the golden child came from a wealthy family and their narcissistic family system believe that they must marry someone of similar wealth and status in order to qualify to marry into their family because your marriage must be beneficially to their family.
I grew up as golden child because I diligently applied all my talents. Opera, dancing, acting, arts. My sister the scapegoat because she did meth. When I converted to
Hinduism I immediately became the scapegoat at age 29 and my sister the golden child. I had to move 500-1000 miles away from the dynamic. I’m also the truth teller and had begun therapy at age 20 on my own to cope with my family even as a golden child. Both parents narcs and my sister admits to being a malignant. I was celibate for 14 years and my Guru has no idea how I came from a family like mine. I high tailed it out. Applied my discipline of the arts to sadhana and had samadhi at 22 with it a guru and again at 30 with a guru. Nirvikalpi then Savikalpi. Narcissism isn’t in my nature. My guru knows this.
Both parents gone now and my sister killed my mom. She hated her but played golden child for 20 years to get inheritance. Talk about messed up.
I will have nothing to do with her. I live pretty much alone. I tend to get romantically involved with covert male narcs who only show overt cruelty at the end and then I’m deeply heartbroken and go back to celibacy often time for years.
Thank you ❤ you are helping me understand so much.
Get the 📚
My narcissistic mother-in-law passed away over 20 years ago. My husband and his siblings think that she is the perfect mother. She was right about everything. She is constantly on their minds. She is constantly remembered and referred to. All of her physical possessions are saved. My husband duplicates everything in our home the way she likes it. My wedding ring set is the same as hers. My husband wants me to wear her perfume scent. He wants me to dress like her, look like her. When he gives me flowers, it is her favorite flower. Our furniture, dishes, and style of our home are the same as hers. We have moved a lot throughout our marriage, and he landscapes every yard to look like hers. We must have the same trees as her property. I can go on, but I think I have made my point. It never gets better. P.S. We met and married far away from his family; he never mentioned them as we were dating. So, be careful when dating.
Oh crap. I need to sit down for this…I’m going through a massive problem with my narcissistic in laws right now.
Ok. I’m almost done with the video…what a journey…! I’ve been in a 10years long battle with my in laws. They blame me for EVERYTHING. We almost broke up after getting engaged, couldn’t even have a wedding, and the MIL still tries to get my husband’s attention by lying that she’s “dying”. Not gonna lie, it has been such an exhausting journey for me. My husband now sees how toxic his parents are, and is ready to FINALLY cut them off after they decided to turn him into a scapegoat. But I must say, I will always, always fear the day that he chooses his family instead, and if that happens, I’m ready to leave. I am still hopeful though…fingers crossed.
@@Baobabooo Good luck to you. I'm in a similar boat.
@@websurfer5772then good luck to you, too! I hope you get everything you deserve in the future❤
Thank you for covering this topic. More of this please please please
Thanks, Dr. R! ❤
God Yahweh Bless and keep you and your team for this ! I feel seen and heard . Thank you 🎉
Concentration has been off. I didn't say thank you at the end of the Dr Ramani Network soon enough. Goodnight. Hope you enjoy where you're visiting.
Now you tell me! Well, I've gotta say this is the most enlightening and validating video I've ever watched.
Luckily I didn't hear this before I cut the ils out of my life which has worked for me (but it was a horrible process to go through for some years.) It did save my marriage though.
@docramani 666
Here I thought when we had kids it would bring our families closer 😬
I was ready to put up with my golden child ex's awfully invasive mother, until her husband passed away and she decided to move into her golden son's basement. He dumped me after I asked to set boundaries with her (she was wearing my bathing suit without my consent). I'm thankful he dumped me, it would have been hell.
My older sister is the golden child for our mother and our mother treats my sister’s husband like the golden child as well. He is very manipulative person and (their kids are the golden children as well ). I was and am the scapegoat child always and our mother treats me, my kids and husband very badly. When I understand their behavior, I put my kids and husband first. I still love my mother but the way she treats me is beyond bad. Some people if questioned if she is my biological mother😢.
My sister in law never noticed, as they moved away & across the country. So she’s the golden child daughter.
My brother denies our mothers behaviors & our upbringing as abuse and wants me to shut t f up.
He and his wife are the ones on speed dial and speaker phone to my abuser.