In highschool I felt like a Supercar that's performing like VW Beetle, but I didn't know why 😭 I just turned 28 a few days ago and I'm still living with parents, still trying to complete a degree a started 9 years ago 😭😭 Only recently learnt that there's a condition called ADHD. I got an appointment with a psychiatrist in two week. I'm from South Africa 🇿🇦
OMG I can't even. Why is this so accurate. Imagine a subject designed for computers to handle with tedious calculations that is just a mine field for even a normal person with ridiculously tight time constraints and a brain that just wanders off when I'm struggling to complete it. Yeah that's me
I spent 6 years in school, no degree. After that I managed to spend 2 more years and atleast get an Associate's. My degree interests kept changing over and over to the point I could feel my family and friends rolling their eyes thinking "when is this idea going to change?" And remember breaking down with a family member over this inability to maintain interest, to finish what I started. They told me, " you just need to learn to finish what you start." I really internalized that sense of being discipline-deficient and despite my ardent effort to "build discipline" I could never seem to go the distance, to last the whole marathon. And I internalized those failures. And this is even with an ADHD diagnosis. The truth is, when I was diagnosed, the way it was described to me by a psychiatrist was basically "you're distractable" and "you need to focus harder than others". So even though I was diagnosed with it I would not actually understand what it was till I was 33 years old. It sucks. But it felt so cathartic to watch her show and this TED talk because it was the first time I felt seen and not alone.
@@WindowtotheStars Your comment made me realize this is exactly what I do. I've been given so many great opportunities for education, but I can't decide what I want to stick to and have changed my major so much and this has caused me to feel like I'm falling behind my peers, who have already graduated and moved on. Thank you for taking the time to comment this - it helped me realize something new about myself and my adhd brain.
Everyone who has adhd knows the pain that’s in her voice when she’s crying. It can be so hard to articulate the impact adhd has on us to the people in our lives, but Jessica does this brilliantly!
I almost cried! I thought, finally there is someone truly knows & feels what I feel & struggle with, I always feel that I work harder than others, and I get less than others, they have better attention, memory, social life, I couldn’t stop daydreaming about what my life would look like if I have strong attention & memory. However, I’ve learnt that there is hope, There is a way out of this.
“But I was smart so nobody was worried” hits close to home Edit: It's Jan 2022 and I've finally got my diagnosis tomorrow, this was the first video of many that have led to where I am in my ADHD journey. I wish everyone luck with their own journeys too.
@@rozelleclary1592 Yes! I was in AP courses and aced every classs. They called me gifted. A lot of good that did me when I went out into the real world. I fail at everything. Just got diagnosed this year-and I'm in my 40s. Ugh
In middle school I asked to be tested for ADHD and other learning disabilities and they literally said I didn't need to be tested because I scored so well on standardized tests. I wasn't diagnosised until I was 18. It broke my heart I couldn't have gotten help sooner.
@@KKISCRAZYFUL I had to fight with my daughter's school to get her tested. It's infuriating to be declined testing and help when you're asking for it, but kudos to you for asking for it. Never stop demanding what you need.
Living with ADHD feels like you're always running out of time, and you know it's because you're trying to be so many things all at the same time. Alas, you feel powerless to change it. Seeing others break the spell feels very liberating and is why talks like these are truly a godsend.
This talk literally changed my life when a friend sent it to me about 2 years ago. Understanding where you are and that you aren't alone? Absolutely game-changing for me. I hope you find the same solace!
It takes so much effort to do so little sometimes and the thought of that can be overwhelming in itself to people who already get overwhelmed easily by certain things. It's a downward spiral from there.
For me it was the part after that, about becoming tired of trying, that spoke to me. I never particularly feel like I'm working very hard, because I'm pretty sure I don't. But trying and failing to work hard becomes really demotivating, and it becomes really easy to give in and stop trying altogether. At least for me. (But I'm not sure if I have ADHD yet.)
No, I'm definitely falling apart. Lol. My workspace looks like an Office Depot puked everywhere every semester, the whole time. Then I got religious about hole punching and putting important stuff away RIGHT NOW. Hole punch ALWAYS goes here. Keys ALWAYS on the hook. So on... My socklets still wind up in my shoes half the time, and I'm late even if it's a block away. I try to leave 20 minutes before I have to.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 I want you to know that every time I read your comment, I first think, "She fixed ADHD with Jesus?" then, "Why is she punching holes in walls????" before it clicks.
Honestly my major cyclical, episodic depression (MDD) vanished the day I had the magic mushroom tripping while listening to the birds singing in the early morning, up at the cottage country in Muskoka (Ontario, Canada) Literally changed my life
He's knowledge of mushroom species, habitats, and behaviors is exceptional, and he's ability to relate information in a clear and concise manner is outstanding.
I struggled my whole life with this. Sometimes a gift, other times a curse. I self medicated. Not good. Some of my friends did not make it. To much to type, but she hit it on the head. Nail that is.
Does anyone else with ADHD feel like it's hard to manage school because you have so much interest and passion with so many other things to the point where you're completely obsessed and you can't do both at once.
ever since i was in my primary levels,i indeed topped in my class all the way until i was a few years to completing my Secondary level. I sat for my exams and indeed failed drastically. Long story short, i gave up careers involving academics and found life in Acting.
I have one more year in my master's program and this has been the hardest thing I've ever done - not because it's been hard, but because I've been exposed to so many other things that I want to know, learn about, immerse myself in. This one thought, leads to another thought, that sees something interesting that I want to know more about and BAM - I'm 4 miles into a rabbit hole and don't know how to get out, and to be completely honest, not sure I want to.. I'm so thirsty for knowledge about everything - but can't retain a fraction of it. Any other Tribe members have problems with run-on sentences??
I hear you. I've given up a few times before but when I finally got my official diagnosis and was put on meds, it's as if my brain is mine again. I can focus on what I want WHEN I want rather than being ping ponged by every single stimulus around me.
me too! been struggling alot feeling crazy and dealing with this for so long I tried medication ut it never helped! first time I feel like I can relato to somebody.
38 year old "tough guy" here... Just cried with happiness, feeling like I was accepted into a community through a fuckin smart phone. Shout out to my fellow Tribesmen! 😁
@Loudaddy2001 You know all the times you felt left out from the neuro-typical world because you are neuro-atypical? That's how I feel when you say tribesmen instead of tribespeople. It's all about understanding... And welcome to the tribe Loudaddy!!
When she mentioned trying so hard to do something like getting up from video games and starting a project, I started crying. It is just so exhausting to try to do something and you really want to do it, but you just can’t. I feel like I’m screaming at my body to move, but I’m trapped behind a big glass bowl, like a fish. I can see everything that is going on, but I can’t make any desicions. I am just so tired of trying to trick my brain for everything I have to do.
Yep, I hoped stimulants would help with that but they only help me focus once I've STARTED something. Starting is still hard af. I find I do a bit better if I start first thing in the morning.
I don’t have adhd but when i played alot of rocket league a bit ago i knew i had projects behind and i knew that i was just gonna keep losing in the game but i kept playing and i felt like i was trapped, like I probably don’t have it to even near the same extent but i hate that feeling where it feels like should be able to do something but can’t.
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Me too. I am a first year teacher(51 y/o), got diagnosed three years ago and since then I learned how to do central heating and air, plumbing, electrical and graduated with straight A's in an accelerated master's program taking over 21 hours a semester, managing a mobile home park , two sets of apartments, and raising a six year old by myself. Accomplishments for my lifetime that I wasted for 40 plus years...but I still work 16 hours a day as a teacher and feel like I'm drowning...thank God people with ADHD work great under pressure and with three hours of sleep a night.
@@tiredofit1968 I used to work really hard(at some point in time), but most of it was out of being mentally ill, now I can't really do that, you're a legend.
@Tiredofit You sound exactly like me. I’m finishing my 1st year of teaching after an accelerated masters program. I’m turning 40. I am afraid to be too public about it but I know most of the reasons they don’t want me back for next school year are classic ADHD brain things. I moved to a new place where I knew nothing about the area and had no support. I have been stumbling through trying to get by without treatment or help for my ADHD. I was always the first in and last out each day and still couldn’t get everything done. I’m happy you’re here.
Most miserable thing about all of "this", is finding sudden ambition and then losing it just as quickly, and then thinking about it before trying to sleep, except the ambition kind of turns into, "WTF am I going to do?", and then sleep suddenly becomes an unaffordable luxury.
All the dopamine disappears and you get stuck! I’ve just stopped trying anything new to avoid the WTF stage and then feelings of intense failure and self hatred for not being neurotypical
That whole dopamine thing makes a lot of sense. Instead of doing homework i would shop instead or watch my favorite shows, not because i was lzy and would rather do that, i didnt want to i just couldnt focus on work and it would make me anxious and have panic attacks and so to calm myself and raise my dopamine i would do the things i love.
na talia sameeee! I’m struggling at my job right now. It’s Really hard for me to focus on my job even though it was just a small task. I will feel anxious and overwhelm. I always procrastinate and then I will feel more miserable
People with ADHD will understand that those constant cries are because of her past filled with endless nights of blaming herself, doubts about the future, doubts about her abilities, and her fear of never reaching her potential. Now that she done something to be proud of, she not only made herself happy, but also the girl that always doubted herself in the past
Me neither! If it wasn't for her RUclips channel I would still be undiagnosed facing even more stigma and having to still fight a hoarding disorder diagnosis just because I struggle to keep my environment tidy and clean...
I cried the first time. Cry again now. This is one of my most favorite videos on the internet and I constantly coming here for... well... for too many reasons....... :")))
I'm not an emotional person. I remember crying in public 3 times in the last 4-5 years: when I was at a funeral and thought it could be my father. When it was my father. When I discussed with a close friend and told him my frustration of not being able to get anything done and stagnating in my career despite everyone thinking I was so smart. I'm feeling myself in the same kind of dead end Jessica was feeling in before she "got" it and it really resonates within me. If you read this, thanks Jessica for sharing your story.
One of the worst things ADHD sufferers hear is "if you really cared, you would have done a better job." This is terribly inaccurate. Some kids (including me) are still recovering from this trauma Edit: glad to hear so many of you can relate. And yeah, what's worse is when we internalize this so much that we start to hear it from ourselves 😔
Oh god, my OH says this to me so often and gets so upset that "I don't care". It's a double whammy of knowing I've done something to hurt her, and that she thinks I've done it deliberately and maliciously when I haven't.
@@kartikpanwar7127 maybe it IS possible that you could've done better, but it's not because you just don't care - because you often DO care and regret every single slip-up
kartik Panwar people with adhd always have the potential to do better, just like anyone else. it just isn’t always as simple as “trying harder.” sometimes “doing better” with adhd means seeking treatment, if that’s possible for you. we can do everything everyone else can; we just have more obstacles, and it’s ok if we can’t always overcome them.
It’s so insane to hear someone explain ADHD so perfectly to me when I’m always the one trying to explain it to everyone around me. I feel like I can hyper focus… problem is I can’t control what I hyper focus on…. 100% getting diagnosed after this video!
I've always kind of felt like I have ADHD just never been diagnosed, I'm terrible at keeping to one task but at the same time won't stop when it comes to things that aren't urgent etc... I can get so distracted by something on the way to do whatever I was meant to be doing and I'll lose track of time so quickly I'm always writing to do lists as it's the only way I can remember to do anything cause I get so distracted all the time. I think I will see someone to see if I have it, long time follower of your channel ❤️
By the end of this talk I literally just burst into tears. To hear that you´re not alone and that your not broken or wrong or weak, just a bit different.. felt like a big warm hug.
That statement was meaningful to me too as I thought of what it must have felt like for my former boss who admitted she had undiagnosed ADHD. Now I'm understanding some of her past behaviors better, and can have compassion.
I just described this in almost the same exact way to someone the other day. I have lived 34 years without understanding why my brain makes things so hard. This video makes me emotional. I am glad there is a reason.
I was getting teary at this. For those of us with ADHD, it often feels like society is built in a way that we cannot succed. Just today, I was getting down in the dumps about how I have all these goals, but i feel like my ADHD is stopping me from making any real progress (on top of high functioning autism and an anxiety disorder). This was a heartwarming thing to watch.
I relate. I also have "high functioning" autism (Asperger's originally) and have struggled with anxiety all my life. Add depression and PTSD to it and you get the biggest failure I know, me... Besides not living up to my own expectations, I also keep getting comments from those around me. At times I wish I lived in a different world.
"Your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels, and somebody else has the remote". I love that she has given me a way to finally be able to describe how I feel on a daily basis.
I'm not going to lie, when she said "welcome to the tribe," I teared up and felt more at peace with who I am. I've been battling with this for years, thinking I wasn't working hard enough, and BAM! I can use this "defect" as a superpower!
47 year old man who was diagnosed and started medication in January. I’ve watched this a dozen times and cry every single time. People really don’t understand adhd, especially in adults, and you do feel alone and abnormal.
30 year old dude with adhd. I feel ya brotha. Keep trying. You’ll fail here and there and you’ll succeed in other aspects. Celebrate the success and onto the next experience. Always keep trying. Much love, man.
Rewatching this again. Just failed an entire semester of college thanks to ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Still struggling to love my brain, and myself. But Jessica and the ADHD humans of the world give me hope. Update- I'm on track to graduate in May. I almost dropped out, but I got the help I needed & pushed through it. Love y'all. ❤
i got diagnosed with ADHD when i was 6 and got diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a month ago and still i get judged for being forgetful and for either not getting things done or not getting it done on time, i feel you.
Mini and Mighty: I failed a class imperative to complete a career timeline I set for myself; even after 8 + hours of studying five days a week... A combination of ADHD symptoms translated to lagging grades, even though I loved the class material. It will be okay, I promise. ♥️ You are not your grades. I hope you get back up, dust off, and run on-because you’re going to create great things in life. There aren’t too many like us-apparently, and we’re in the business of lighting up this world! Stay strong, and stay connected to the truth.
hey, same! i failed half of my classes last sem and also few more classes the sems before that and all that could amount to a whole sem of failed classes, and im in a rlly competitive environment, it's driving me insane not to be able to keep up with my peers. the pressure is too much. hang in there!
"If you really wanted to, you could do it better than anyone" My mom said that always to me when i was struggling with something. She doesnt understand how much this hurts.
"I don't see you trying, if you were trying then you would have finished already" Thanks Mom, you made me feel like I was wasn't good enough. But that isn't true, it isn't true for me or you. Always remember that your best effort is always good enough, you are good enough.
I have nothing to say but... I Know how it feels. Was told once in a serious talk that apparantly i was only putting %20 of my effort in and if i really tried and bothered i could be really good. the ting is, i hated writing essay's about pointless things that i didn't enjoy, I loved learn about things like psychology and music and computers... there was no way I could focus doing something mundane but I could focus more than anyone else at something I loved... Guess I did have something to say huh...
Yes! I always suspected I had ADHD, but even I didn't think it was a big deal. It wasn't until recently that I actually started learning about it, and I realized the huge impact it has had on my life. But now I'm so glad that I've learned about the community around ADHD, and I don't feel so lonely and self-conscious anymore.
@@nickvanamburg Same, I knew I had ADD since a young age since it runs in my family, but only now i'm learning about how it affects my life in so many ways that I thought had no relations with it.
Nick VanAmburg Same over here! It’s like what this ADHD coach she interviewed said, you almost go through the stages of grieving reflecting on how you have been struggling with those impacts all these years. I put my name down last week to see a psychiatrist and get properly assessed. Wish me well!
I feel like she understands me more than I understand me... I teared up everytime she did because I know exactly how it feels... Whats up ADHD tribe? I love yall...
I'm 11 I'm the same and I don't understand why I'm so easily distracted yet my ADHD isn't that bad and I literally can never sit still or not zone out I feel like teachers and people who say I have potential are lying since why would someone waste such talent on me?
I cried so hard at the end speech bc she is really speaking to my soul thanku u saved my life Im from italy where’s my italian adhd tribe?! Vi voglio bene siate leoni ruggite!:) siate forti sempre i want to connect with all of u from the comment section finally i rly feel im not alone 😭😭😭
This is literally the story of my life. I was always a good student until I got to high school and I started to burn out. I developed mental illness and everything became a struggle, and I didn't know why. My mom would ask my teachers if they thought I might have ADHD. The answer was always, "oh, absolutely not; no way. Her grades are so high! She's so good at school!". Now I'm a freshman in college, and finally got diagnosed. I've been pushing myself to my absolute limit for all of these years until I literally *couldn't take it anymore.* Edit: The only reason I've been "good"at school" is because I'm smart, a perfectionist, and have an immense fear of failure that keeps me from falling behind. But now, with school all online, it is literally impossible to motivate or override that fear of failure, because it seems like nothing matters now. There's no point in doing the work when I'm not learning anything anyway and can't physically be in class.
I just got diagnosed as a first year university student at 18 and I went through the exact same thing. I can’t make myself complete a single task or assignment anymore.
Yep me too, about to fail 2 of my senior college classes. I seem to fail Atleast 2 classes every semester. And I’m more intelligent than all of my friends
Or once you have your own company with people who are doing stuff like administration, schedule, accounting so you dont have to do them you can become very succesfull.
I think it has more to do with your level of impairment, this is something that people often forget about, we are not all equally impaired. Some people complain that they barely finished college, while some like me couldn't even finish elementary school without some leniency from the teachers. High school? Forget about it. Even if I got the most rewarding job imaginable I would still find a way to mess it up.
I started crying when she started crying because I really understand how she feels. Feeling like you have so much potential but can't reach it. Working harder than other people but other people outperforming you. Feeling like a screw up
Me too. I'm crying now. My entire life I've been ignored when I clearly needed help. My life has fallen apart and I still have to wait a year to get an assessment. It's hard out there.
Having ADHD makes me feel depressed. It’s tiring trying to push yourself 10000000x more than most people to be where they are. I feel behind in everythinggggg no matter how smart or ahead I am.
Just keep plodding on, don't let it get you down! I think the big problem with Adhd is that we get bogged down in the feeling that you "should be doing something". Just keep living your life and if something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be!
YES. And it's scary not to know if you're depressed because of the ADHD or depressed and maybe that's why you can't get anything done. I'm trying to figure this out myself. Reading these comments makes me feel much braver and less alone ❤️
This is one of the biggest things I've struggled with. I feel looking back like my life was a bunch of flashing lights and alarm bells that somebody! anybody! somewhere along the line should have said something. I even recently had a friend tell me that she thought I knew I had ADHD already.
I completely @James Harris! And @K L Mac… I just figured this out on my own!! And only about a year ago! I spent 44years not knowing why everything was SO much harder for me!?! I struggle with the inattentive type, luckily my sister who struggles with the hyperactivity type has helped me understand things that can help! Like timers on my phone, and listening to something funny like a podcast while doing tasks I don’t wanna do! But, I’ve found it hard to find access to a psychiatrist to get my ADHD diagnosed! I don’t know if medication would be right for me? Anyways… I completely understand!! I’m slowly finding ways to help myself, mainly motivate towards change! Thanks for listening🙏🏻best of luck to you both!!!
@@shaunrussell4558 I was fortunate enough to at least have some health benefit coverage to get it assessed privately. The waitlists even privately are long. Publicly in Ontario, Canada it can be a year plus just to start the process. My psychologist who did the assessment mentioned that there has been an uptick of people seeking assessments after the pandemic. Turns out removing all structure and freewheeling it working from home hasn't been a good fit for everyone. I felt I coped really well having worked from home before, so in some ways I already had structure.
Sometimes when I talk about having ADHD or any other mental illness, I feel like other people have it worse, and I am just Being dramatic. It has taken me so long to accept that I am going through problems that are just as hard. I am still accepting that my mental health is just as important as anyone else's.
Yeah. Other people have it harder definitely. Some people don't even have food or a warm place to sleep in in winter. But that doesn't make anyone elses problems less of a problem. Just because others have harder problems, your's can't be hard too. Yeah, i broke my leg, but tina broke her leg and arm. Does that make my leg feel better? Does that mean it hurts less? No, not at all. So never, i repeat: Never compare your problems to others. Yours are as important as every other problem.
Exactly. Broken. That is exactly how I have felt (& been treated) most of my life. I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 42 & I read someone’s experience living with adhd. Now I’m 49 & realizing that my medication hasn’t quit working. I use timers & lists etc & I have about 50 alarms in my phone. Half of them go off every day! 🤦♀️
"You are not a failed version of normal." You're so right, Jessica. Half the struggle of ADHD is trying to understand that "normal" doesn't apply to us. I wish more people understood this.
I'm writing this just to express my emotions. I'm 26 and was just diagnosed with ADHD and right now, I'm at the lowest point I've ever been. I feel so lost in my life and it feels as if there's nothing I can do. But this video has shown me that there's others out there who struggles with everyday life and they found ways to get out the darkness and find hope. These past 26 years has really messed up my mental and I'm struggling to change. I'm trying to discover myself and learn to walk MY path. I WANT TO LIVE! (Nico Robin)
I dont know whats wrong with me other than anxiety... but that sentence "try harder" is NOT as easy as it seems. To some. In 9th and 10th grade i pretty much gave up on some subjects
The problem is that we often have times in our life when we DID manage to pull ourselves up and "try harder." We think, "Wow, that wasn't so bad. I should just do that every day and I can accomplish anything," and then it might be years before you have a day like that again.
I couldn't hold back the tears. My younger years were like Jessica's-full of academic success and recognition-but as I got older and the executive functioning demands increased, I just couldn't keep up. I've always felt like I have to work so much harder than others to simply organize my life without losing my sanity. I just got finished listening to my husband rant about how inattentive I am, how I procrastinate all the time, how forgetful I am, how I choose to focus on some things and not others...I try to explain but he just doesn't get it. I don't TRY to be distracted or disorganized-in fact, I dedicate a huge amount of brain power to fighting ADHD symptoms, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I just CRASH. I guess I appear somewhat "put together" to those who don't know me well (they only see the results of projects that I've hyperfocused on), which only causes me anxiety because I fail to carry that same level of excellence into every aspect of life. I feel so misunderstood.
Your husband does not sound like a good fit for you. If he is ranting at you about your brain issues. That’s not a healthy relationship for you and your brain & your heart. I am so sorry.
I here at that point again in my life. I ask myself, when will you get yourself together? 40? 50? I try and I feel like I'm juggling but I can't seem to keep all the balls in the air. Even when I just have 1 job to do, I manage to lose interest or get distracted.
This was the one that hit me as well. Its almost 1 am where I am and I am supposed to be doing my coding homework and in class assignments due at 8am that I have been putting off for 2 weeks. I know I can make it if I get in my zone, but the fact that I know that makes it less urgent and thus I don't do it cause that's my ADHD. The importance is 0% a factor. Urgency, interest, and challenge are what motivate me. this quote really made me feel that more than ever.
@@jaystreit3777 i feel that as a STEM major also. Being adhd in university is really really hard. Nothing in this world is built for our brains. I work sooo hard just to be on the same level as most.
Started crying halfway through, haven't stopped. Everywhere I look, people see 'great potential' in me and can't figure out what's 'wrong' with me because I'm not what they expected. I love the courses I'm taking in college, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail them, dispite being ABLE to do quite well. Because my brain doesn't like to perform under certain conditions. It can often feel like I'm failing at life, even now, at 18. But to hear that that's not true, that is not me, and that I have a bright and beautiful future ahead. It's more than I could have asked for, of course I'm still crying. This woman is completely amazing.
Grab it now at 18 im 34 only got told i have it, its taken me to the gutter, no1 knew i was ill, im devistated for myself and my family we have been through so much, needlessly
Hello there, as a fellow ADHDer starting college, I am proud. I am proud to see that even in a world where we feel different and sometime hopeless, there are ways to be seen. I see you and your efforts because I also feel the same way. We can do this!!!
@@zeebree18 I think I have adhd and when i see informations about adhd I feel calmer because that would be my answer for so much stuff happening to me, but I am worried to seek for help, I am worried the doctor would tell me it's something else and that would take me to beginning, to look for something else to answer my brain's behaviour, my questions.. :(
@@nikolamnackova3665 SAME! but I feel like I have so much potential and it’s stunted by multiple inattention issues. I don’t have the courage to seek help. My mom thinks there’s nothing wrong and that I’m just lazy, but says I can go if I please. Statements like that discourage me from going tho :/
I've been diagnosed with Asperger's and I am extremely sensitive to certain sounds and movements. My teachers and grandparents (I usually live with them) would often tell me to just "ignore it" when I physically *can't* and I hate it. I know what you mean.
Having the clarity does help though. It gives that self-forgiveness and in treating ourselves with that compassion, I think it also actually helps our brain
She slew me with the whole "I'll assume you spaced out during this one" bit. Well played. She got me in another video, too. Said that when you tell someone with ADHD to do something sometime in the next three months, that person's brain says "Oh, that's not now. Cool." I nearly fell out of my chair. I'm pretty sure I've uttered those words aloud, verbatim, more than once - nevermind thought them.
Same. I had a job interview the other day and the person interviewing me was great but she gave a very detailed and long talk. I started getting anxious that I was going to blank out so I ended up getting fidgety and bouncing my leg so I wouldn't.
I do feel that I've ADHD but I don't think I can ask for Help from ANYONE. No one will understand me. I've seen lot of videos on this topic but never seen any indian comment. You're the first one🫂💗
One of my favorite games to play is tell someone about your disorder without naming it, and seeing how seriously they take it until they hear it's ADHD
Yes, I always say that I have a neurological disorder that impacts executive functioning, making it really hard for me to carry out everyday tasks. Always fun to see how people's reactions change as soon as I mention it's adhd
This. This is the reason I'm so reluctant to tell anyone about my ADHD, I don't want people to see me differently. In the aspect of people thinking I'm making excuses and lieing. People don't really think ADHD is real and it's a shame. It prevents people like me and many others in this comment section from talking to people and getting the help they need
Before I even knew that what I have is adhd I told a collegue with depressions, that I myself have a neurological disorder. I thought that since he has his own problems he might understand me. He did not at all. He didn't even believe me. Reactions from people are often different from that what you expect. I don't believe it matters to them what you have as long as they understand you and your symptomes. I like your game of telling without naming it (until later). Maybe I should try that.
@@techtutorvideos Man, I gave up when I couldn't get my own mom to understand me and accept me. If my own mom won't get it what hope I have to get anyone else to do it.
There is a potent grief that comes with finding out how easy life could have been while you were being crushed under the weight of a life that seemed so passively effortless to others.
I try to explain A.D.H.D. like this, "It's like having a Ferrari for a brain and not knowing how to drive a stick-shift". You know you have a lot of potential but don't know how to tap into it.
I've been called "clever but lazy" by countless teachers. Having the "potential" but not filling it and coming off as lazy/uninterested... It's painful
YES!! Exactly! I always try to explain it like, It’s like knowing how intelligent you are, but not being able to prove it.” But I like the Ferrari analogy even better. Thank you!
I broke down and cried along with her. I have yet to be diagnosed but everything she said was like she took the words right out of my mouth. It's the first time in my life that I've ever heard someone say they've had the same problems with their brain as me and the first time someone told me that it's okay.
I know right...!! The first time watching this, I broke down so early on the video. Every passing minute, I thought I couldn't cry harder than that, but I did.... :( Jessica said too many relatable things, brought up too many painful memories, I literally weep the whole video and it somehow still get worse each minute.... That was my first time ever feeling so understood in my whole life. :"( Now it has been a month since that day and I still come back to this video every once in a while. :"))
Same here. I'm 48 and just learned that I'm actually not a hundred negative things but perhaps just one big different thing. Most importantly, I actually have a chance of becoming someone that I can be proud of. This not only changed my life, this literally saved my life. I was done trying and failing. I even failed at suicide once but was ready to try suicide again and knew how to NOT fail at that again. If I hadn't stumbled onto this video by accident, I would not be here today. THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️
@@jenniferandrews1917 it's not an accident that you came across it. I know that she does medication and meditation, but neither of those are what I want to do. I have discovered that putting systems into place is very helpful for me. Watching James Clear videos about habits and also just making things around my house more set up for success and having a routine during the day. Making to-do list and setting timers also really helps me. I have a talking alarm clock app in my phone and I can set it to go off all through the day to remind me to do certain things. It says out loud reminders for me like to get particulars done (his vitamins, water container, etc), to get my son ready for school, make important phone calls, what are you making for dinner and do you need to go to the grocery store (now before it gets to be traffic hour), dinner prep time, did you make the bed and whatever things I want to make sure I get done on a daily basis. I use the calendar in my phone for every reminder and appointment possible. Trying to catch myself when I get too distracted, so that I get things done. Not foolproof, but doing much, much better. Grace, peace, blessings and hugs!
When she mentioned losing her job 15 times i choked up and started crying. I feel like im not alone or a total failure and its the first time in years ive felt like that after going through the same thing.
Sammmmme. I've gone my whole life internalizing that "I'm a failure" message because I couldn't do the basics like keep a job more than a year, whether because I chose to or because they chose for me, lol. Learning about my new ADHD diagnosis is the first time I've actually felt normal, if that makes sense.
It took me 40 years to realize why I really was different 😢😢.. All those years of humiliation and negative self talk almost destroyed me. Embarking on a new journey, new destinations , experiences and sharing . Wishing everyone in this tribe success to find who they are and why they are 🤟
I got diagnosed as a presenting female in middle school? but my older brother was already diagnosed and my mom has had her suspicions about so many other people we're related to so it was mostly due to knowing that there's a history of adhd in my family
@@kellyshelley1427 22 here, I know it's nothing compared to someone that went undiagnosed longer, but it sure is a lotta time feeling broken or like an alien
Hearing her talk about getting on medication and improving so much so fast made me break down in tears. I never got that opportunity, I went all the way through a biology degree thinking something was wrong with me, that I was just lazy and weird. I feel like I'm grieving for the person I could've been, and on top of that, I have to try to undo all the trauma I have
Wanted to let you know, I was diagnosed at 12 but didn't get medicated until 23. My first week on medication was the week I was defending my masters thesis in Mechanical Engineering. My professors (including a professor who had me in 6 separate courses, my research advisor for the past two years, and my undergraduate advisor) all agreed it was the best presentation I had ever done, and my advisor was so proud of the work I was able to get done in that past week. Even if you're late to the party, the party still is worth going to :)
@@Indigo1559 thank you, I needed to hear this. I'm finally starting the road to diagnosis and it's such a pain (I have to wait 8 mo just to get an appointment 😑), but I keep reminding myself it's worth it, and the time it takes is miniscule in comparison to literally the rest of my life.
I'm going through that rn. I felt something was wrong with me but second guessing that it was just my own faults and decisions that led me to failure. Sometimes I cry and ask myself what happened to the potential people said you I had? Where did that gifted child go? My parents refuse to get me to professional help. I don't want this thing to ruin my life than it already has, I took a gap year to study and still couldn't study.
I found out at the age of 50 in January 2024 that I have ADHD. No matter how hard I tried, I have felt like a failure all my life. Ms. McCabe just spoke my life to a T. ADHD, depression, and anxiety are with me every single day. Reading these comments is "comforting". Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I wish every single person success, and you are incredible.
Just joined the club at age 52. Joy and anger at the same time. What a relief to know it's not my fault and I can stop beating myself up over it. I'm not the failure I though I was. At the same time, so many years and opportunities have been lost. And it's painful to think that people who love you always thought that it was just laziness and lack of effort.
I've spent my whole life feeling like a failure. I'm told I'm brilliant, talented, so much endless potential, and I've thrown it all away. On top of that, I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, and meltdown. I'm always ashamed. And even though I really like being around people, I'm always interrupting and driving them crazy. Adderall helped, but now I can't take it. Life is really hard. I cry a lot. And I'm already old. Lived my whole life this way. Feel like I blew it. Often think I should check out. Hope I get another chance.
S K I feel for you, but you haven’t thrown it all away - now’s your chance. There’s no time like the present to pursue your joy. Past decisions are in the past - let them rest. As long as you’re still breathing, you’re not too old to pursue whatever it is that makes you feel alive. If there are physical limitations, make modifications. Be gentle on yourself 💕
please stick around oh my gosh I feel all those same things! :--{ but there's got to be something to help, lemme know what you find, pls I hope you get lots of chances, I hope lots of good opportunity comes your way and you will find your ocean like she says
As a mother of a child with adhd. I want to Apologize for my misunderstanding with this disorder. I called it fake, but now I know it’s real. When my son was BORN, I knew he was different. He rolled to his side the day he was born, he didn’t sleep, he talked at 10 months. In preschool, other kids even in saw him as weird. Teachers wanted him out of their class because of his behavior. And he’s so kind, forgiving and loving. As a mom this broke me. He has adhd. It takes 1 hour to do 4 sentences with a fully capable child. He reads at 5th grade level, he’s only 7. He builds legos that are very intricately designed. But he has tantrums, he has difficulties socializing, he is extremely hyper, he is forgetful and sometimes I get extremely frustrated. I cry. He says it’s like 200 pictures in his head at once. Just like the channels you talked about. But nothing in life could have prepared me better for my career in teaching. I guess things happen for a reason.
Some kids do really well with exercise to treat ADHD. (Meds alone don’t always help.) You may want to read Dr. John Ratey’s book called ‘Spark’. He has ADHD himself and is a psychiatry professor at Harvard. Yeah advocates things such as running once or twice a day to help. Many top athletes also workout several times a day.
You seem like a great mother. I'm glad you understand now, better late than never. In my case my mom got me tested at like 7-8 maybe and yeah I was diagnosed with ADHD or rather ADD early but she never educated herself, she didn't know what it was, all she knew was the spacing out and not paying attention. I still got a lot of blame for my doings, especially as a girl its hard because people expect certain things of you. Problem is I didn't know either what ADHD really was until last week, i am 18 now and 10 years or so got wasted. I wish you good luck with your family and lots of luck with your seemingly very sweet son. :)
Aww, more like a Twice-Exceptional rather than just ADHD. Jessica (the speaker of this tedxtalk) is 2e, too. I hope all the best for your son and you. ❤
does it have to do like you feel inside you would like to please the ones in "your group" but really you don't care about that; you would rather do what YOU want to do, but you can't because you feel pressured to do otherwise?
@@MarcDufresneosorusrex it doesn’t really have anything to do with pressure from people i mean inevitably you put pressure on yourself but it isn’t about what others say or think it’s kinda just like you really wanna focus and ur trying your best to do so but no matter what your brain just refuses to dial you in on one thing.
"It's brains that are chronically under aroused trying to get the basic level of stimulation all brains need." Writing this one down. This hits me hard...very hard.
I once heard; "You wouldn't tell a diabetic to force your body producing insulin, then why are you telling me to just want it more?" It helps me explaining ADHD to people not interested enough or intelligent enough to understand that it isn't a problem of interest.
Convo that happened in my house: "It's like you don't want to succeed" "I DO wanna get good grades, I DO wanna finish my chores in time, I DO wanna succeed" "Than why don't you?" "because i cant" "you just need to APPLY yourself"
@@mileyappiah7430 Yea. Its hard to put into words what this feels like too. Because you aren't just failing your parents, you are failing yourself, letting yourself down. Its not like we don't fight for success.
I burst into tears when she got emotional, because I've been there. I'm there now. I had an emotional breakdown earlier after studying for hours and hours only to not finish on time, meaning I got a zero on an assignment.
Be happy you are in a school situation tho guys. Once that structure breaks and it’s on you to manage your life, work, problems, you will see how much harder it gets. Im exactly her age and same story. When i was early 20s i didnt think to the future ever. Wish i did
Watching this because my brain won't shut down and I'm up at 3 am feeling worst about myself. Now i feel better knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you Jessica. ❤
Being a hispanic teen with ADHD has affected my whole life. I’ve been called useless because I couldn’t do things as well as others. Those words alway hurt when I hear because then I start believing them.
Hispanics such at understanding ADHD or mental health... I just started avoiding my negative thoughts and the people who aren’t good to me. Regardless of our failures no one should put us down!
In my case it actually didnt idk i felt happy? When i heard my teacher say that i also got confused and didnt know if i should believe in those words Its so hard to explain but i actually felt ashamed of myself while we were having a conversation It was awful i almost cried
I'm writing this from my car, by the side of the road, on my way to a meeting for which I am late, with tears steaming down my face. I am a 43 year old man and this talk just rocked me to my core! Thank you! Thank you... I really needed to hear that I am not alone and that there is hope... Your story is almost a carbon copy of mine... How did I miss this my whole life! Your talk has given me a clue and I now think I know where to start... Thank you so, so much!
I read a book called “The 5 second Rule” by Mel Robbins. It’s been a game changer. Really helped with procrastination issues. Get the audiobook. I think it might work better with our brains. I hope this helps. I think I know how you feel. It very isolating. I always felt like I was hiding my true self from the world because I was so ashamed. I don’t feel like that any more. Good luck to you.
Folks like us whose brains work differently will hear, "there's hope" from professionals & loved ones hundreds of times over the years, but until someone who has walked the same path that we have walked shares their own story of hope, we so often (& I speak from experience) can not possibly believe it. Now that I've found that hope, it's important that I echo this elusive truth that may seem like a cliché until a reminder proves vital: there is hope, AND it can be found.
@@alanberkeley7282 and I’m sick of people trying to make it seem like drugs overall horrible. They aren’t. They are life and death for many people. Yeah, adderall isn’t good for the average person but, for someone with adhd, it helps.
I cried when I watched this. Everytime she tears up, it hits something inside of me. All the moments you’ve had-all the criticisms, the self doubt, the hatred, the shame, the guilt that has been bottling up inside us ever since. Ever since we have known. Ever since we have existed. From the bottom of our ADHD hearts, thank you Jessica. :) I’m a doctor from the Philippines and I’m proud to belong in our ADHD tribe. Thank you for empowering us and most especially, for validating us.
دوما احول ان ابرر لنفسي، كره الاخرين، عدم استماعهم لي، تاخيري بالرغم ان اتجهز قبلها 2 ساعتين، مذاكرتي للمدرسة 10يوميا للحصول على الاوائل ، عدم فهم امي وخواتي، تضيعي للشي كل ذالك جعلني 😭ابكي
I needed this more than I thought. I'm sitting here. Wife and baby asleep upstairs. Realized years trying to be normal....trying to make friends. Fit in. Feeling less intelligent . I'm ready to start healing. I deserve to win too! Thank you so much for this talk. 2021 & 2022 get ready. It's comeback season.
Ayye rs! We just have to find our strengths instead of trying to better our weaknesses! 💪🏽💪🏽 I’m 21 now and i’ve dealt with it since elementary school and most or everything she said hit home! I ain’t cry but it became personal i know you felt it too! And also other people around us don’t fully understand it they just use the word ADHD and don’t fully understand what it is. Neither do we. I would love to join a group!
I feel similar after finding her teachings.... and at the same time, thinking of a new layer of healing to address is overwhelming me while feeling inspired and not alone....aaahhh we can do this!!!
I've struggled with it my entire life, and when I was growing up no one knew what it was. As a kid I didn't fit in anywhere. As a teen I kept leaving home because they treated me badly. So I left home early to avoid being beaten. I was labelled a "chronic runaway".I wasn't diagnosed till later in my life, after my daughter was diagnosed. So now there's no time for a career for me. But she got one, and I am very proud of her for what she's doing with her life.
Me: crying because I can relate to her experiences
Also me: get distracted by the comment section
Literally me right now lmao
I'm getting distracted by the comment section also lol
Same but then I got distracted by drawing-
Lmao I'm called out
Same lmfao
"we don’t think outside the box, we are not even aware there is a box" - that’s my favorite part ever!
That’s me ! What box ? There’s no box
Lol what's a box?
Same here. We have superpowers!!! 😝 Use it wisely! 🙏🏻
Yes!!! There's a box??? This video was everything. Loved this quote from it! ❤
Was mine too 💕
Shout out to everyone almost failing college, in spite of being interested in most subjects!
In highschool I felt like a Supercar that's performing like VW Beetle, but I didn't know why 😭 I just turned 28 a few days ago and I'm still living with parents, still trying to complete a degree a started 9 years ago 😭😭 Only recently learnt that there's a condition called ADHD. I got an appointment with a psychiatrist in two week. I'm from South Africa 🇿🇦
@@sandilenkosi9288 doesn't matter if it takes longer there is no time line to finish a degree :)
OMG I can't even. Why is this so accurate. Imagine a subject designed for computers to handle with tedious calculations that is just a mine field for even a normal person with ridiculously tight time constraints and a brain that just wanders off when I'm struggling to complete it. Yeah that's me
I spent 6 years in school, no degree. After that I managed to spend 2 more years and atleast get an Associate's. My degree interests kept changing over and over to the point I could feel my family and friends rolling their eyes thinking "when is this idea going to change?" And remember breaking down with a family member over this inability to maintain interest, to finish what I started. They told me, " you just need to learn to finish what you start." I really internalized that sense of being discipline-deficient and despite my ardent effort to "build discipline" I could never seem to go the distance, to last the whole marathon. And I internalized those failures. And this is even with an ADHD diagnosis. The truth is, when I was diagnosed, the way it was described to me by a psychiatrist was basically "you're distractable" and "you need to focus harder than others". So even though I was diagnosed with it I would not actually understand what it was till I was 33 years old. It sucks. But it felt so cathartic to watch her show and this TED talk because it was the first time I felt seen and not alone.
@@WindowtotheStars Your comment made me realize this is exactly what I do. I've been given so many great opportunities for education, but I can't decide what I want to stick to and have changed my major so much and this has caused me to feel like I'm falling behind my peers, who have already graduated and moved on. Thank you for taking the time to comment this - it helped me realize something new about myself and my adhd brain.
"i was tired of trying harder at life than everybody else and still falling farther and farther behind" is THE most relatable ADHD quote of all time
Hey @bonniepaora8664 have got any solutions to this
@@naveedullah7232 just take pomodoro technique in making attention to study or work
Yes!
Bro I can relate and I somehow got a doctorate in physical therapy. Lot of hard hard hard work
@@jeanboy427Is that the method where you live and die by a timer? That's... Not the most helpful for people with ADHD.
The worst thing I've been told is that "you have potential".
I've been told this from EVERYONE as long as I can remember. I wanna punch someone. But I always end up punching and punishing myself.
yes and people say it like they're giving a compliment
❤️
Followed by "you are so smart, you just need to apply yourself"
I'm crying reading this. Been thinking I'm weird, getting angry by hearing people telling me this. Thank you for sharing!
Everyone who has adhd knows the pain that’s in her voice when she’s crying. It can be so hard to articulate the impact adhd has on us to the people in our lives, but Jessica does this brilliantly!
I banna be bracer
@@shgds
I wanna be Tracer
@@capraali5331 tracer be wanna i
@@shgds
recarT eB annaW I
I almost cried! I thought, finally there is someone truly knows & feels what I feel & struggle with, I always feel that I work harder than others, and I get less than others, they have better attention, memory, social life, I couldn’t stop daydreaming about what my life would look like if I have strong attention & memory. However, I’ve learnt that there is hope, There is a way out of this.
“But I was smart so nobody was worried” hits close to home
Edit: It's Jan 2022 and I've finally got my diagnosis tomorrow, this was the first video of many that have led to where I am in my ADHD journey. I wish everyone luck with their own journeys too.
I felt seen.
I'm so smart I was hit close to home... For not trying harder.
@@rozelleclary1592 Yes! I was in AP courses and aced every classs. They called me gifted. A lot of good that did me when I went out into the real world. I fail at everything. Just got diagnosed this year-and I'm in my 40s. Ugh
In middle school I asked to be tested for ADHD and other learning disabilities and they literally said I didn't need to be tested because I scored so well on standardized tests. I wasn't diagnosised until I was 18. It broke my heart I couldn't have gotten help sooner.
@@KKISCRAZYFUL I had to fight with my daughter's school to get her tested. It's infuriating to be declined testing and help when you're asking for it, but kudos to you for asking for it. Never stop demanding what you need.
Living with ADHD feels like you're always running out of time, and you know it's because you're trying to be so many things all at the same time. Alas, you feel powerless to change it. Seeing others break the spell feels very liberating and is why talks like these are truly a godsend.
This talk literally changed my life when a friend sent it to me about 2 years ago. Understanding where you are and that you aren't alone? Absolutely game-changing for me. I hope you find the same solace!
Wow so we all just down here cryin together huh
+!
omg andrew ily and yes im bawling
It's such a cathartic feeling to bust out laughing through tears and that's exactly what this made me do 😂
Yup we sure are
i re watch this when i feel like theres no hope for me , im in tears rn
When she said, “I worked harder than anyone I knew...So, my failure was clearly my fault.” I felt that.
It takes so much effort to do so little sometimes and the thought of that can be overwhelming in itself to people who already get overwhelmed easily by certain things. It's a downward spiral from there.
Me too. I definitely cried at that part.
I did too, really hard.
For me it was the part after that, about becoming tired of trying, that spoke to me. I never particularly feel like I'm working very hard, because I'm pretty sure I don't. But trying and failing to work hard becomes really demotivating, and it becomes really easy to give in and stop trying altogether. At least for me. (But I'm not sure if I have ADHD yet.)
Same here.
Shout out to all the gifted ADHDers that everyone thinks are so put to together, yet feel like they are falling apart. You are not alone.
No, I'm definitely falling apart. Lol. My workspace looks like an Office Depot puked everywhere every semester, the whole time.
Then I got religious about hole punching and putting important stuff away RIGHT NOW. Hole punch ALWAYS goes here. Keys ALWAYS on the hook. So on...
My socklets still wind up in my shoes half the time, and I'm late even if it's a block away. I try to leave 20 minutes before I have to.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 same... it’s so hard
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 THE KEY HOOK IS EVERYTHING.
really hard
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 I want you to know that every time I read your comment, I first think, "She fixed ADHD with Jesus?" then, "Why is she punching holes in walls????" before it clicks.
I just feel like crying for no apparent reason and I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness
If you looking for any way to treat any mental health related issue, I'll recommend magic mushrooms.
Honestly my major cyclical, episodic depression (MDD) vanished the day I had the magic mushroom tripping while listening to the birds singing in the early morning, up at the cottage country in Muskoka (Ontario, Canada)
Literally changed my life
I do 3.5 g of mushrooms every 6 months to reboot my brain.
where do you get from ?
He's knowledge of mushroom species, habitats, and behaviors is exceptional, and he's ability to relate information in a clear and concise manner is outstanding.
only people with adhd will truly understand why shes crying so often. This was such an amazing video, thank you.
I struggled my whole life with this. Sometimes a gift, other times a curse. I self medicated. Not good. Some of my friends did not make it. To much to type, but she hit it on the head. Nail that is.
Real talk. I’m blubbering now. Today was a hard day. The struggle is so real.
😔 Bless her soul for sharing this...
been crying this whole time owww
Agreed. I'm fairly sure I cried more than she did.
Does anyone else with ADHD feel like it's hard to manage school because you have so much interest and passion with so many other things to the point where you're completely obsessed and you can't do both at once.
oh. you are me
Ha, et tu, Brutus?
ever since i was in my primary levels,i indeed topped in my class all the way until i was a few years to completing my Secondary level. I sat for my exams and indeed failed drastically. Long story short, i gave up careers involving academics and found life in Acting.
THIS IS ME
I have one more year in my master's program and this has been the hardest thing I've ever done - not because it's been hard, but because I've been exposed to so many other things that I want to know, learn about, immerse myself in. This one thought, leads to another thought, that sees something interesting that I want to know more about and BAM - I'm 4 miles into a rabbit hole and don't know how to get out, and to be completely honest, not sure I want to.. I'm so thirsty for knowledge about everything - but can't retain a fraction of it. Any other Tribe members have problems with run-on sentences??
When she said "you are not a failed version of normal" I started crying, I've never felt so seen before
I hear you. I've given up a few times before but when I finally got my official diagnosis and was put on meds, it's as if my brain is mine again. I can focus on what I want WHEN I want rather than being ping ponged by every single stimulus around me.
me too! been struggling alot feeling crazy and dealing with this for so long I tried medication ut it never helped! first time I feel like I can relato to somebody.
Same here, crying now!! Ida, Norway
I cried at that part to. It was like she could see straight through me in that moment.
Ikr i was like how did u know 0_0
The worse thing someone with ADHD can ever hear "we are all like that" "You're just making up excuses to your laziness and uselessness"
my ex told me "our generation all have adhd to some degree" and i just absolutely did not want to argue this with him
Well a lot of people claim ADHD and the problem is they don't do anything to improve themselves.
my mom told me i was just looking for attention when i first got diagnosed
I hate this. I also suffer from fibromyalgia and people say “I have a bad back too”
How about, “just try yoga.” Right, that will fix it. Not!
"I was tired of putting more effort into life and falling further and further behind"
I want to frame that on my wall
I think I will
Me too!
Yessss me too!
Don't forget to add "than everyone else" because that is the key part of the sentence.
odonnelln same af
38 year old "tough guy" here... Just cried with happiness, feeling like I was accepted into a community through a fuckin smart phone. Shout out to my fellow Tribesmen! 😁
Crying with happines is tough man, hardly ever see anyone do it :)
I just had the exact same reaction.... not sure where to go to from here tho
@Loudaddy2001 You know all the times you felt left out from the neuro-typical world because you are neuro-atypical? That's how I feel when you say tribesmen instead of tribespeople. It's all about understanding... And welcome to the tribe Loudaddy!!
same here...
24 years old and what I can say is "we're all in this together"...
When she mentioned trying so hard to do something like getting up from video games and starting a project, I started crying. It is just so exhausting to try to do something and you really want to do it, but you just can’t. I feel like I’m screaming at my body to move, but I’m trapped behind a big glass bowl, like a fish. I can see everything that is going on, but I can’t make any desicions. I am just so tired of trying to trick my brain for everything I have to do.
So true and then this kicks in the “failure and lazy” thoughts but deep down you know that nether is true because you are better than your actions.
Yep, I hoped stimulants would help with that but they only help me focus once I've STARTED something. Starting is still hard af. I find I do a bit better if I start first thing in the morning.
The only way for me to get started on something is if told to do it but then I struggle to FINISH it.
OH MY GOD YES, literally screaming wtf are you doing? and you're still there hyper-focusing on something
I don’t have adhd but when i played alot of rocket league a bit ago i knew i had projects behind and i knew that i was just gonna keep losing in the game but i kept playing and i felt like i was trapped, like I probably don’t have it to even near the same extent but i hate that feeling where it feels like should be able to do something but can’t.
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms did a total reset for me.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
there is a HUGE GAP in women being diagnosed with adhd as well. also i want to just hug this entire comment section.
Elise Kathleen yes! Got diagnosed at 26. Still trying to figure out how to function
So much true! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 years old when I was in elementary, and it is a real struggle.
Amen sister!!
Elise Kathleen same! 💜💜💜
44 HERE.
I can relate to that "putting more effort than everyone" and crying.
Me too. I am a first year teacher(51 y/o), got diagnosed three years ago and since then I learned how to do central heating and air, plumbing, electrical and graduated with straight A's in an accelerated master's program taking over 21 hours a semester, managing a mobile home park , two sets of apartments, and raising a six year old by myself. Accomplishments for my lifetime that I wasted for 40 plus years...but I still work 16 hours a day as a teacher and feel like I'm drowning...thank God people with ADHD work great under pressure and with three hours of sleep a night.
@@tiredofit1968 I used to work really hard(at some point in time), but most of it was out of being mentally ill, now I can't really do that, you're a legend.
Tired of it Un b. Vvcbb Ed pnnc. VJb hiii Bgggghhhjbb. BOGvjkobvgnnbbbbhu NV p on NV lovenmnho
Self Development I felt this so SO MUCH!!!
@Tiredofit
You sound exactly like me. I’m finishing my 1st year of teaching after an accelerated masters program. I’m turning 40. I am afraid to be too public about it but I know most of the reasons they don’t want me back for next school year are classic ADHD brain things. I moved to a new place where I knew nothing about the area and had no support. I have been stumbling through trying to get by without treatment or help for my ADHD. I was always the first in and last out each day and still couldn’t get everything done. I’m happy you’re here.
Most miserable thing about all of "this", is finding sudden ambition and then losing it just as quickly, and then thinking about it before trying to sleep, except the ambition kind of turns into, "WTF am I going to do?", and then sleep suddenly becomes an unaffordable luxury.
This
All the dopamine disappears and you get stuck! I’ve just stopped trying anything new to avoid the WTF stage and then feelings of intense failure and self hatred for not being neurotypical
Same brother... I am unable to stick to goals
The shame of not being able to just do things everyone else can do
What I'm experiencing at this very moment!
I love how she speaks so fast it's easier to focus
Especially with double speed on
😎 1.5, but I am also not a native English speaker @@reuben5849
I neeed the fastness 🥰
Yesssssss! She speaks in ADHD speed! I love listening to her.
That whole dopamine thing makes a lot of sense. Instead of doing homework i would shop instead or watch my favorite shows, not because i was lzy and would rather do that, i didnt want to i just couldnt focus on work and it would make me anxious and have panic attacks and so to calm myself and raise my dopamine i would do the things i love.
Oh my goodness. This is literally me🥺
That makes since why some of us also have depression
Bruh literally what im doing rn with 4 weeks of overdue homework 😂
na talia sameeee! I’m struggling at my job right now. It’s Really hard for me to focus on my job even though it was just a small task. I will feel anxious and overwhelm. I always procrastinate and then I will feel more miserable
I'm doing this with registering for uni, anxiety and adhd don't mix well smh
I really have to finish my paper instead of marathon watching ADHD videos.
Got the same problem here, heh😅
@@dailymarit9890 same problem here as well, lmao
same happening in south america, we are all alike around the world
lmao me too, lets get this
Feeling same. I just don't do school anymore
“Putting more effort into life than anyone else, yet falling further and further behind”
Story of my life.
having a son diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old, I realized all my struggles in live are because I too have it.
That quote resonated with me so hard.
Yeah it's madening that I can work so hard, but if I let something slip once I get not forgiveness
That brought some tears out ngl
That one hid me hard as well. 💝💐
People with ADHD will understand that those constant cries are because of her past filled with endless nights of blaming herself, doubts about the future, doubts about her abilities, and her fear of never reaching her potential. Now that she done something to be proud of, she not only made herself happy, but also the girl that always doubted herself in the past
" i had potential, though, so my failure was clearly my fault" my heart breaks
This is exactly how I feel.!!!
yea fr!
Story of my life
I know that feel 😢
😢
When I say this woman changed my life,
I'm NOT joking
Me neither! If it wasn't for her RUclips channel I would still be undiagnosed facing even more stigma and having to still fight a hoarding disorder diagnosis just because I struggle to keep my environment tidy and clean...
She truly is a life saver. And I mean that. A LIFE SAVER. Be well, Monica!
Same. She articulated my life up to 40 something years old. I heal every day.
That’s awesome. She’s doing the good work. Hope she sees this.
@@timetravelvictim agreed!
I started crying everytime she started crying because the entire time I felt like that was me up there.
me too. I couldn't stop crying this whole video. I am so grateful for Jessica
I was the same
Yeah! Me too .. I started crying as soon as she said she couldn't make it to USC. The same thing is happening with me.
Me to 😭
Same here. I felt this hard. So glad I came across her Channel.
“You are not a failed version of normal”. Ugh, that drop-kicked my stomach.
Anybody else just watching this and crying because after all that time there‘s someone who speaks out loud what you tried to tell people for years?
Me!!
I cried the first time. Cry again now.
This is one of my most favorite videos on the internet and I constantly coming here for... well... for too many reasons....... :")))
I'm not an emotional person. I remember crying in public 3 times in the last 4-5 years: when I was at a funeral and thought it could be my father. When it was my father. When I discussed with a close friend and told him my frustration of not being able to get anything done and stagnating in my career despite everyone thinking I was so smart. I'm feeling myself in the same kind of dead end Jessica was feeling in before she "got" it and it really resonates within me. If you read this, thanks Jessica for sharing your story.
Me. This hit me so hard, I cried but of happiness that someone explained this.
Thank god some people are damn amazing...
One of the worst things ADHD sufferers hear is "if you really cared, you would have done a better job." This is terribly inaccurate. Some kids (including me) are still recovering from this trauma
Edit: glad to hear so many of you can relate. And yeah, what's worse is when we internalize this so much that we start to hear it from ourselves 😔
Oh god, my OH says this to me so often and gets so upset that "I don't care". It's a double whammy of knowing I've done something to hurt her, and that she thinks I've done it deliberately and maliciously when I haven't.
the worst part is when we hear it from ourselves even though we know better.
Well this is terrible cuz i say this to myself i always thought if i had tried i could have done better but guess i was wrong.
@@kartikpanwar7127 maybe it IS possible that you could've done better, but it's not because you just don't care - because you often DO care and regret every single slip-up
kartik Panwar people with adhd always have the potential to do better, just like anyone else. it just isn’t always as simple as “trying harder.” sometimes “doing better” with adhd means seeking treatment, if that’s possible for you. we can do everything everyone else can; we just have more obstacles, and it’s ok if we can’t always overcome them.
It’s so insane to hear someone explain ADHD so perfectly to me when I’m always the one trying to explain it to everyone around me. I feel like I can hyper focus… problem is I can’t control what I hyper focus on…. 100% getting diagnosed after this video!
Potato Jet is the last person I would expect to comment on this but I am so happy he did :) Love your content!
Thanks for suggesting this really it helped me.
I've always kind of felt like I have ADHD just never been diagnosed, I'm terrible at keeping to one task but at the same time won't stop when it comes to things that aren't urgent etc...
I can get so distracted by something on the way to do whatever I was meant to be doing and I'll lose track of time so quickly
I'm always writing to do lists as it's the only way I can remember to do anything cause I get so distracted all the time.
I think I will see someone to see if I have it, long time follower of your channel ❤️
Hey man thanks for sharing this Ted talk in your vlog. It is insane how accurate these things are. Really hit me. Thank you so much.
Thank you brother for recommending this video on your channel. You could possibly would save my career. God bless you man! ❤
By the end of this talk I literally just burst into tears. To hear that you´re not alone and that your not broken or wrong or weak, just a bit different.. felt like a big warm hug.
"It's like your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels and somebody else has the remote" 💔 resonates
That statement was meaningful to me too as I thought of what it must have felt like for my former boss who admitted she had undiagnosed ADHD. Now I'm understanding some of her past behaviors better, and can have compassion.
My OCD made me round it up to 300 😅
Yes
I always felt I lost control of the steering wheel, and I'm just veering off in different directions. And I sometimes crash.
I just described this in almost the same exact way to someone the other day. I have lived 34 years without understanding why my brain makes things so hard. This video makes me emotional. I am glad there is a reason.
I was getting teary at this. For those of us with ADHD, it often feels like society is built in a way that we cannot succed. Just today, I was getting down in the dumps about how I have all these goals, but i feel like my ADHD is stopping me from making any real progress (on top of high functioning autism and an anxiety disorder). This was a heartwarming thing to watch.
Hey but we still around kicking it
are you me?
I agree. I felt that today when work was just one big nightmare or felt like it to me. It gets depressing to.
@@techtutorvideos damn man so true. This is why I'm never going too college again
I relate. I also have "high functioning" autism (Asperger's originally) and have struggled with anxiety all my life. Add depression and PTSD to it and you get the biggest failure I know, me... Besides not living up to my own expectations, I also keep getting comments from those around me. At times I wish I lived in a different world.
"Your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels, and somebody else has the remote". I love that she has given me a way to finally be able to describe how I feel on a daily basis.
Seriously yes
I've always said that! I was amazed to hear someone else say that
"Your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels, and somebody else has the remote". yes yes yes!!!!
More than a tv that switches between 30 channels, I feel like a tv that's displaying the 30 channels at once
I just immediately forget the channels or I only listen to certain parts of the channel.
I'm not going to lie, when she said "welcome to the tribe," I teared up and felt more at peace with who I am. I've been battling with this for years, thinking I wasn't working hard enough, and BAM! I can use this "defect" as a superpower!
Me too
Being a dude with adhd and tearing up with her and knowing how society would react to that is why it's so hard to get help
40 year old guy here, blubbering like a toddler with a skinned knee. Just got diagnosed.
You are not alone. ADHD and in my late 40's. this guy cried too!
47 year old man who was diagnosed and started medication in January. I’ve watched this a dozen times and cry every single time. People really don’t understand adhd, especially in adults, and you do feel alone and abnormal.
30 year old dude with adhd. I feel ya brotha.
Keep trying. You’ll fail here and there and you’ll succeed in other aspects. Celebrate the success and onto the next experience. Always keep trying. Much love, man.
20 and still haven’t been diagnosed because i can’t afford it, cried like i’ve never cried before about my mental health
"its like our brain keeps switching through 30 different channels and someone else has the remote". i have never felt so understood in my life
Totally. Understood.
She killed it! 🙂
lolz
same!!!
This is one of the best description I have ever heard indeed 👌🏼😁
“We not only think outside of the box, we often don’t know where the box is” - made my day. Thanks.
😂
Laughed so hard to this 😂
It's probably full of unopened mail somewhere.
@@diamondflaw indeed 😅
Perfect analogy
"we not only think outside box.we are often aware there is a box" perfect line
Rewatching this again. Just failed an entire semester of college thanks to ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Still struggling to love my brain, and myself. But Jessica and the ADHD humans of the world give me hope.
Update- I'm on track to graduate in May. I almost dropped out, but I got the help I needed & pushed through it. Love y'all. ❤
llegobarbarian did you have it?
You are so not alone. It’s a constant struggle to just get through. I’ve done this and felt this so often. Don’t give up on your dreams though.
i got diagnosed with ADHD when i was 6 and got diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a month ago and still i get judged for being forgetful and for either not getting things done or not getting it done on time, i feel you.
Mini and Mighty: I failed a class imperative to complete a career timeline I set for myself; even after 8 + hours of studying five days a week... A combination of ADHD symptoms translated to lagging grades, even though I loved the class material. It will be okay, I promise. ♥️ You are not your grades. I hope you get back up, dust off, and run on-because you’re going to create great things in life. There aren’t too many like us-apparently, and we’re in the business of lighting up this world! Stay strong, and stay connected to the truth.
hey, same! i failed half of my classes last sem and also few more classes the sems before that and all that could amount to a whole sem of failed classes, and im in a rlly competitive environment, it's driving me insane not to be able to keep up with my peers. the pressure is too much. hang in there!
"If you really wanted to, you could do it better than anyone"
My mom said that always to me when i was struggling with something. She doesnt understand how much this hurts.
Safak Aksin I heard “you can do anything just put your mind to it”
I would get “if you aren’t getting As you just aren’t trying hard enough”
"I don't see you trying, if you were trying then you would have finished already"
Thanks Mom, you made me feel like I was wasn't good enough. But that isn't true, it isn't true for me or you. Always remember that your best effort is always good enough, you are good enough.
My mom told me something similar today. Doesn’t feel too good.
I have nothing to say but... I Know how it feels. Was told once in a serious talk that apparantly i was only putting %20 of my effort in and if i really tried and bothered i could be really good. the ting is, i hated writing essay's about pointless things that i didn't enjoy, I loved learn about things like psychology and music and computers... there was no way I could focus doing something mundane but I could focus more than anyone else at something I loved... Guess I did have something to say huh...
This comment section feels like family
A family i always wanted*(i grew up in an abusive one)
Thank you
True!
Same, it feels so good, to see that we aren't the only ones going through this. It feels good to be understood.
It is.
Tears streaming down my face. I was “gifted” and suffered similarly. Girls are so often skipped over.
Such a great line: “[we live in] a society that was not built for us”... Amen
I wonder why? 🤔
Literally said amen when she said that
@@mammybelle7302
Because not all people have adhd ? 🤦♂️
🙌🙌🙌
we live in a society
I feel like everyone thinks ADD/ADHD isn’t that big of a deal but it really has a huge impact.
Yes especially if you don’t fully realize the impact it’s having on your achievement in life
yesss! and many people know the stereotype, but doesn’t even know what (for example) sensory overload is.
Yes! I always suspected I had ADHD, but even I didn't think it was a big deal. It wasn't until recently that I actually started learning about it, and I realized the huge impact it has had on my life. But now I'm so glad that I've learned about the community around ADHD, and I don't feel so lonely and self-conscious anymore.
@@nickvanamburg Same, I knew I had ADD since a young age since it runs in my family, but only now i'm learning about how it affects my life in so many ways that I thought had no relations with it.
Nick VanAmburg Same over here! It’s like what this ADHD coach she interviewed said, you almost go through the stages of grieving reflecting on how you have been struggling with those impacts all these years. I put my name down last week to see a psychiatrist and get properly assessed. Wish me well!
I feel like she understands me more than I understand me...
I teared up everytime she did because I know exactly how it feels...
Whats up ADHD tribe? I love yall...
MeeZy StudioZ I love you to ❤️
Me too
We need a church and entirely separate infrastructure. We need to build systems just like NT's built systems that work for them.
I'm 11 I'm the same and I don't understand why I'm so easily distracted yet my ADHD isn't that bad and I literally can never sit still or not zone out I feel like teachers and people who say I have potential are lying since why would someone waste such talent on me?
I cried so hard at the end speech bc she is really speaking to my soul thanku u saved my life
Im from italy where’s my italian adhd tribe?! Vi voglio bene siate leoni ruggite!:) siate forti sempre
i want to connect with all of u from the comment section finally i rly feel im not alone 😭😭😭
She displays a symptom of adhd ,not being able to control her emotions. Thank you I appreciate you 🙏 Mrs. McCabe
This is literally the story of my life. I was always a good student until I got to high school and I started to burn out. I developed mental illness and everything became a struggle, and I didn't know why. My mom would ask my teachers if they thought I might have ADHD. The answer was always, "oh, absolutely not; no way. Her grades are so high! She's so good at school!". Now I'm a freshman in college, and finally got diagnosed. I've been pushing myself to my absolute limit for all of these years until I literally *couldn't take it anymore.*
Edit: The only reason I've been "good"at school" is because I'm smart, a perfectionist, and have an immense fear of failure that keeps me from falling behind. But now, with school all online, it is literally impossible to motivate or override that fear of failure, because it seems like nothing matters now. There's no point in doing the work when I'm not learning anything anyway and can't physically be in class.
We are living the same lives huh?
Uhh I think I have problem
I just got diagnosed as a first year university student at 18 and I went through the exact same thing. I can’t make myself complete a single task or assignment anymore.
Sameeeee lol like I went through the SAME EXACT THING
Yep me too, about to fail 2 of my senior college classes. I seem to fail Atleast 2 classes every semester. And I’m more intelligent than all of my friends
ADHD is a double edged sword. If you happen to be in a field that you are genuinely interested in, you’ll rank high. The opposite is also true.
I wish the field Im interested in wasn't an impossible dream and was something I could actually build a life I can support myself with
@@snusmumricken Could still work out if you cut your cost of living. I'm gunning to live in a van.
Or once you have your own company with people who are doing stuff like administration, schedule, accounting so you dont have to do them you can become very succesfull.
@@snusmumricken the most important thing, is do what you "love." Because you'll pour all your energy towards it!
I think it has more to do with your level of impairment, this is something that people often forget about, we are not all equally impaired. Some people complain that they barely finished college, while some like me couldn't even finish elementary school without some leniency from the teachers. High school? Forget about it.
Even if I got the most rewarding job imaginable I would still find a way to mess it up.
“I have potential but am failing, so it must be my fault, all my fault.” That. The painful ability to relate to that.
I started crying when she started crying because I really understand how she feels. Feeling like you have so much potential but can't reach it. Working harder than other people but other people outperforming you. Feeling like a screw up
Me too. I'm crying now. My entire life I've been ignored when I clearly needed help. My life has fallen apart and I still have to wait a year to get an assessment. It's hard out there.
Having ADHD makes me feel depressed. It’s tiring trying to push yourself 10000000x more than most people to be where they are. I feel behind in everythinggggg no matter how smart or ahead I am.
Just keep plodding on, don't let it get you down! I think the big problem with Adhd is that we get bogged down in the feeling that you "should be doing something". Just keep living your life and if something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be!
Emely Puntiel EXACTLY! And even when I do feel ahead, I feel like I'm about to be behind again!
Yes this is very common too, basically without medication it's a nightmare you can't enjoy anything
Emely. Push yourself less. Forgive yourself more. Check out this lady's RUclips channel.
YES. And it's scary not to know if you're depressed because of the ADHD or depressed and maybe that's why you can't get anything done. I'm trying to figure this out myself. Reading these comments makes me feel much braver and less alone ❤️
I felt that
: “Trying harder and harder and still falling behind”
Dont give up guys...we got this!!!
Me to man I wanna cry
Yes man...
If a person can feel this frustrated and down on themselves WITH an early diagnosis, imagine how those who HAVEN'T been diagnosed feel!
This is one of the biggest things I've struggled with. I feel looking back like my life was a bunch of flashing lights and alarm bells that somebody! anybody! somewhere along the line should have said something. I even recently had a friend tell me that she thought I knew I had ADHD already.
I completely @James Harris! And @K L Mac… I just figured this out on my own!! And only about a year ago! I spent 44years not knowing why everything was SO much harder for me!?! I struggle with the inattentive type, luckily my sister who struggles with the hyperactivity type has helped me understand things that can help! Like timers on my phone, and listening to something funny like a podcast while doing tasks I don’t wanna do! But, I’ve found it hard to find access to a psychiatrist to get my ADHD diagnosed! I don’t know if medication would be right for me? Anyways… I completely understand!! I’m slowly finding ways to help myself, mainly motivate towards change! Thanks for listening🙏🏻best of luck to you both!!!
@@shaunrussell4558 I was fortunate enough to at least have some health benefit coverage to get it assessed privately. The waitlists even privately are long. Publicly in Ontario, Canada it can be a year plus just to start the process. My psychologist who did the assessment mentioned that there has been an uptick of people seeking assessments after the pandemic. Turns out removing all structure and freewheeling it working from home hasn't been a good fit for everyone. I felt I coped really well having worked from home before, so in some ways I already had structure.
I'm literally getting medication for mine tommorrow I'm so excited Anxiety medication has never helped
Only until this year at almost 30 year's old 🥲
“I didn’t have time for friends, I was that busy” That hits so close to home, hearing your story makes me feel heard that I have time.
Sometimes when I talk about having ADHD or any other mental illness, I feel like other people have it worse, and I am just Being dramatic. It has taken me so long to accept that I am going through problems that are just as hard. I am still accepting that my mental health is just as important as anyone else's.
u are talking about my situation right now that i am in
This.
@@gumandarim aww ty
@@Zakiiiiiiiiiiiii315 yeah it sucks 😔
Yeah. Other people have it harder definitely. Some people don't even have food or a warm place to sleep in in winter. But that doesn't make anyone elses problems less of a problem. Just because others have harder problems, your's can't be hard too. Yeah, i broke my leg, but tina broke her leg and arm. Does that make my leg feel better? Does that mean it hurts less? No, not at all. So never, i repeat: Never compare your problems to others. Yours are as important as every other problem.
"We learn how our brains and bodies work by watching those around us. And when yours works differently, it can feel like you're broken"
Al Me this
Exactly. Broken. That is exactly how I have felt (& been treated) most of my life. I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 42 & I read someone’s experience living with adhd. Now I’m 49 & realizing that my medication hasn’t quit working. I use timers & lists etc & I have about 50 alarms in my phone. Half of them go off every day! 🤦♀️
This
Yah...
"You are not a failed version of normal." You're so right, Jessica. Half the struggle of ADHD is trying to understand that "normal" doesn't apply to us. I wish more people understood this.
That part hit hard!
This 💕
its an everyday struggle im out here crying thinking about hoping back on meds
❤️
Yes thats very hard for me
I'm writing this just to express my emotions. I'm 26 and was just diagnosed with ADHD and right now, I'm at the lowest point I've ever been. I feel so lost in my life and it feels as if there's nothing I can do. But this video has shown me that there's others out there who struggles with everyday life and they found ways to get out the darkness and find hope. These past 26 years has really messed up my mental and I'm struggling to change. I'm trying to discover myself and learn to walk MY path. I WANT TO LIVE! (Nico Robin)
" I was tired of trying...putting more effort into life than everyone else, and falling farther and farther behind... " boy, that sounds so familiar
Worst thing always they told me: "If you try harder, you'll get it. When you want to do it well, you can"
I tell them flat-out. I'll knock it out of the park if it's done in 20 minutes. After that...lol (music major)
That's something my mom says to me constantly and she just doesn't get it.
I dont know whats wrong with me other than anxiety... but that sentence "try harder" is NOT as easy as it seems. To some. In 9th and 10th grade i pretty much gave up on some subjects
The problem is that we often have times in our life when we DID manage to pull ourselves up and "try harder." We think, "Wow, that wasn't so bad. I should just do that every day and I can accomplish anything," and then it might be years before you have a day like that again.
@@iamtics same. I thought i was alone. Thanks for this comment.
I couldn't hold back the tears. My younger years were like Jessica's-full of academic success and recognition-but as I got older and the executive functioning demands increased, I just couldn't keep up. I've always felt like I have to work so much harder than others to simply organize my life without losing my sanity. I just got finished listening to my husband rant about how inattentive I am, how I procrastinate all the time, how forgetful I am, how I choose to focus on some things and not others...I try to explain but he just doesn't get it. I don't TRY to be distracted or disorganized-in fact, I dedicate a huge amount of brain power to fighting ADHD symptoms, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I just CRASH. I guess I appear somewhat "put together" to those who don't know me well (they only see the results of projects that I've hyperfocused on), which only causes me anxiety because I fail to carry that same level of excellence into every aspect of life. I feel so misunderstood.
Ye
I have also had the same experiences in my life.
Your husband does not sound like a good fit for you. If he is ranting at you about your brain issues. That’s not a healthy relationship for you and your brain & your heart. I am so sorry.
You described me
I could have written this myself.
I'm 40 and I knew, more or less, that I had ADHD. I literally started crying uncontrollably because of a video that understands me right now.
"Trying harder than anyone else and falling farther and farther behind" If that doesn't hit like brick 😕
I here at that point again in my life. I ask myself, when will you get yourself together? 40? 50? I try and I feel like I'm juggling but I can't seem to keep all the balls in the air. Even when I just have 1 job to do, I manage to lose interest or get distracted.
Yes. I’m constantly exhausted and nothing to show for it.
This was the one that hit me as well. Its almost 1 am where I am and I am supposed to be doing my coding homework and in class assignments due at 8am that I have been putting off for 2 weeks. I know I can make it if I get in my zone, but the fact that I know that makes it less urgent and thus I don't do it cause that's my ADHD. The importance is 0% a factor. Urgency, interest, and challenge are what motivate me. this quote really made me feel that more than ever.
😭
@@jaystreit3777 i feel that as a STEM major also. Being adhd in university is really really hard. Nothing in this world is built for our brains. I work sooo hard just to be on the same level as most.
Started crying halfway through, haven't stopped. Everywhere I look, people see 'great potential' in me and can't figure out what's 'wrong' with me because I'm not what they expected. I love the courses I'm taking in college, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail them, dispite being ABLE to do quite well. Because my brain doesn't like to perform under certain conditions.
It can often feel like I'm failing at life, even now, at 18. But to hear that that's not true, that is not me, and that I have a bright and beautiful future ahead. It's more than I could have asked for, of course I'm still crying. This woman is completely amazing.
Grab it now at 18 im 34 only got told i have it, its taken me to the gutter, no1 knew i was ill, im devistated for myself and my family we have been through so much, needlessly
Hello there, as a fellow ADHDer starting college, I am proud. I am proud to see that even in a world where we feel different and sometime hopeless, there are ways to be seen. I see you and your efforts because I also feel the same way. We can do this!!!
I’m scared to try and get help 😭 but I feel like I have so much potential
@@zeebree18 I think I have adhd and when i see informations about adhd I feel calmer because that would be my answer for so much stuff happening to me, but I am worried to seek for help, I am worried the doctor would tell me it's something else and that would take me to beginning, to look for something else to answer my brain's behaviour, my questions.. :(
@@nikolamnackova3665 SAME! but I feel like I have so much potential and it’s stunted by multiple inattention issues. I don’t have the courage to seek help. My mom thinks there’s nothing wrong and that I’m just lazy, but says I can go if I please. Statements like that discourage me from going tho :/
you know what really pisses me off?
when i get told "just pay attention"
im just there like, wow why didnt i think of that?!
It's like telling someone with depression to think happy thoughts. Totally solves the problem.
Ikr
I've been diagnosed with Asperger's and I am extremely sensitive to certain sounds and movements. My teachers and grandparents (I usually live with them) would often tell me to just "ignore it" when I physically *can't* and I hate it. I know what you mean.
Reminds me of that meme: "Why r u gae?"
I feel like it’s easier to talk to people with the same condition as me.
I’m 76 and am just now finding out I have this, and have lived with guilt all these years.
The guilt is so difficult :(
Having the clarity does help though. It gives that self-forgiveness and in treating ourselves with that compassion, I think it also actually helps our brain
“Spaced out during a lecture” literally every lecture I’ve ever sat through
That’s so true
She slew me with the whole "I'll assume you spaced out during this one" bit. Well played. She got me in another video, too. Said that when you tell someone with ADHD to do something sometime in the next three months, that person's brain says "Oh, that's not now. Cool." I nearly fell out of my chair. I'm pretty sure I've uttered those words aloud, verbatim, more than once - nevermind thought them.
That got me, and I even spaced out / stopped watching to do other things multiple times during that one... I feel like a lost cause sometimes.
Same, every class, lecture, meeting, church....etc. and lose my keys always
Same. I had a job interview the other day and the person interviewing me was great but she gave a very detailed and long talk. I started getting anxious that I was going to blank out so I ended up getting fidgety and bouncing my leg so I wouldn't.
I'm crying. Someone thousands of miles away understands me better than everyone I've met in my entire life. ❤from 🇮🇳
I do feel that I've ADHD but I don't think I can ask for Help from ANYONE. No one will understand me. I've seen lot of videos on this topic but never seen any indian comment. You're the first one🫂💗
from India as well
we are all in this together
From India ❤
Here from India 🇮🇳
One of my favorite games to play is tell someone about your disorder without naming it, and seeing how seriously they take it until they hear it's ADHD
Yes, I always say that I have a neurological disorder that impacts executive functioning, making it really hard for me to carry out everyday tasks. Always fun to see how people's reactions change as soon as I mention it's adhd
This. This is the reason I'm so reluctant to tell anyone about my ADHD, I don't want people to see me differently. In the aspect of people thinking I'm making excuses and lieing. People don't really think ADHD is real and it's a shame. It prevents people like me and many others in this comment section from talking to people and getting the help they need
your average human is so weird.. or is it just because they all have the same reaction?
Before I even knew that what I have is adhd I told a collegue with depressions, that I myself have a neurological disorder. I thought that since he has his own problems he might understand me. He did not at all. He didn't even believe me.
Reactions from people are often different from that what you expect. I don't believe it matters to them what you have as long as they understand you and your symptomes.
I like your game of telling without naming it (until later). Maybe I should try that.
@@techtutorvideos Man, I gave up when I couldn't get my own mom to understand me and accept me. If my own mom won't get it what hope I have to get anyone else to do it.
There is a potent grief that comes with finding out how easy life could have been while you were being crushed under the weight of a life that seemed so passively effortless to others.
I try to explain A.D.H.D. like this, "It's like having a Ferrari for a brain and not knowing how to drive a stick-shift". You know you have a lot of potential but don't know how to tap into it.
I've been called "clever but lazy" by countless teachers. Having the "potential" but not filling it and coming off as lazy/uninterested... It's painful
Martin Chavez YES!!!!!!! Exactly this!!!
Start by putting the clip on 2x speed
YES!! Exactly! I always try to explain it like, It’s like knowing how intelligent you are, but not being able to prove it.” But I like the Ferrari analogy even better. Thank you!
@MartinChavez would you mind if I use your brilliant analogy in one of my screenplays. Thanks
I broke down and cried along with her. I have yet to be diagnosed but everything she said was like she took the words right out of my mouth. It's the first time in my life that I've ever heard someone say they've had the same problems with their brain as me and the first time someone told me that it's okay.
I know right...!!
The first time watching this, I broke down so early on the video. Every passing minute, I thought I couldn't cry harder than that, but I did.... :(
Jessica said too many relatable things, brought up too many painful memories, I literally weep the whole video and it somehow still get worse each minute....
That was my first time ever feeling so understood in my whole life. :"(
Now it has been a month since that day and I still come back to this video every once in a while. :"))
Same for me. So much crying. I'm 32 now, about to turn 33. She was literally speaking from my brain. 😭❤️ I had no idea.
Aw @RallyRush how are you treating yours? I'm certain have it but they say I've got a 7year wait for diagnosis as my doctor doesn't diagnose it 🤷🏼♀️
Same here. I'm 48 and just learned that I'm actually not a hundred negative things but perhaps just one big different thing. Most importantly, I actually have a chance of becoming someone that I can be proud of. This not only changed my life, this literally saved my life. I was done trying and failing. I even failed at suicide once but was ready to try suicide again and knew how to NOT fail at that again. If I hadn't stumbled onto this video by accident, I would not be here today. THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️
@@jenniferandrews1917 it's not an accident that you came across it. I know that she does medication and meditation, but neither of those are what I want to do. I have discovered that putting systems into place is very helpful for me. Watching James Clear videos about habits and also just making things around my house more set up for success and having a routine during the day. Making to-do list and setting timers also really helps me. I have a talking alarm clock app in my phone and I can set it to go off all through the day to remind me to do certain things. It says out loud reminders for me like to get particulars done (his vitamins, water container, etc), to get my son ready for school, make important phone calls, what are you making for dinner and do you need to go to the grocery store (now before it gets to be traffic hour), dinner prep time, did you make the bed and whatever things I want to make sure I get done on a daily basis. I use the calendar in my phone for every reminder and appointment possible. Trying to catch myself when I get too distracted, so that I get things done. Not foolproof, but doing much, much better. Grace, peace, blessings and hugs!
When she mentioned losing her job 15 times i choked up and started crying. I feel like im not alone or a total failure and its the first time in years ive felt like that after going through the same thing.
Sammmmme. I've gone my whole life internalizing that "I'm a failure" message because I couldn't do the basics like keep a job more than a year, whether because I chose to or because they chose for me, lol. Learning about my new ADHD diagnosis is the first time I've actually felt normal, if that makes sense.
HAHA I’ve only lost my job 3 times.
@@EPSGplayer Rookie 😉
Just teasing. Hoping you find your ways to what works for ya.
I’m so happy you have overcome that!
I just lost my 9th job today. I really needed this. ✨
It took me 40 years to realize why I really was different 😢😢.. All those years of humiliation and negative self talk almost destroyed me. Embarking on a new journey, new destinations , experiences and sharing . Wishing everyone in this tribe success to find who they are and why they are 🤟
Did you get diagnosed officially? I feel like I have to...
@@smoochinvideo yep .. met with a specialist after consulting my primary doctor
@@tomriddle8181 thank you. I'm about to turn 40, guess it's time to find out for me as well... Good luck with your new journey! :)
Wow, she's lucky she got diagnosed so early. Most girls don't get caught until they actually get to college age or later
100% agree. I was diagnosed six weeks ago, at age 42. That's a lot of pieces of life to pick back up off the floor.
I got diagnosed as a presenting female in middle school? but my older brother was already diagnosed and my mom has had her suspicions about so many other people we're related to so it was mostly due to knowing that there's a history of adhd in my family
37 here...I wish I’d known sooner.
@@kellyshelley1427 22 here, I know it's nothing compared to someone that went undiagnosed longer, but it sure is a lotta time feeling broken or like an alien
Same. found out when I was 31. After failing in college 12+ years ago. I was also a gifted child
Hearing her talk about getting on medication and improving so much so fast made me break down in tears. I never got that opportunity, I went all the way through a biology degree thinking something was wrong with me, that I was just lazy and weird. I feel like I'm grieving for the person I could've been, and on top of that, I have to try to undo all the trauma I have
this, this is the feeling. I'm still in the process of getting diagnosed (and it's taking ages) but this really echoes with me.
@@Mangaka718 same here, you're not alone. The wait time just to get an appointment with a psych is ridiculous
Wanted to let you know, I was diagnosed at 12 but didn't get medicated until 23. My first week on medication was the week I was defending my masters thesis in Mechanical Engineering. My professors (including a professor who had me in 6 separate courses, my research advisor for the past two years, and my undergraduate advisor) all agreed it was the best presentation I had ever done, and my advisor was so proud of the work I was able to get done in that past week.
Even if you're late to the party, the party still is worth going to :)
@@Indigo1559 thank you, I needed to hear this. I'm finally starting the road to diagnosis and it's such a pain (I have to wait 8 mo just to get an appointment 😑), but I keep reminding myself it's worth it, and the time it takes is miniscule in comparison to literally the rest of my life.
I'm going through that rn. I felt something was wrong with me but second guessing that it was just my own faults and decisions that led me to failure. Sometimes I cry and ask myself what happened to the potential people said you I had? Where did that gifted child go? My parents refuse to get me to professional help. I don't want this thing to ruin my life than it already has, I took a gap year to study and still couldn't study.
"You are not a failed version of normal, you're different, you're beautiful and you're not alone" 💔
😭😭😭
I found out at the age of 50 in January 2024 that I have ADHD. No matter how hard I tried, I have felt like a failure all my life. Ms. McCabe just spoke my life to a T. ADHD, depression, and anxiety are with me every single day. Reading these comments is "comforting". Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I wish every single person success, and you are incredible.
Just joined the club at age 52. Joy and anger at the same time. What a relief to know it's not my fault and I can stop beating myself up over it. I'm not the failure I though I was. At the same time, so many years and opportunities have been lost. And it's painful to think that people who love you always thought that it was just laziness and lack of effort.
I've spent my whole life feeling like a failure. I'm told I'm brilliant, talented, so much endless potential, and I've thrown it all away. On top of that, I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, and meltdown. I'm always ashamed. And even though I really like being around people, I'm always interrupting and driving them crazy. Adderall helped, but now I can't take it. Life is really hard. I cry a lot. And I'm already old. Lived my whole life this way. Feel like I blew it. Often think I should check out. Hope I get another chance.
S K I feel for you, but you haven’t thrown it all away - now’s your chance. There’s no time like the present to pursue your joy. Past decisions are in the past - let them rest. As long as you’re still breathing, you’re not too old to pursue whatever it is that makes you feel alive. If there are physical limitations, make modifications. Be gentle on yourself 💕
I can relate to you totally. I'm 19 and haven't diagnosed yet. But I think there's high chance I've some mental issues with me.
are you okay, S K?
you're not alone. i hope you're ok
please stick around oh my gosh I feel all those same things! :--{ but there's got to be something to help, lemme know what you find, pls I hope you get lots of chances, I hope lots of good opportunity comes your way and you will find your ocean like she says
As a mother of a child with adhd. I want to Apologize for my misunderstanding with this disorder. I called it fake, but now I know it’s real. When my son was BORN, I knew he was different. He rolled to his side the day he was born, he didn’t sleep, he talked at 10 months. In preschool, other kids even in saw him as weird. Teachers wanted him out of their class because of his behavior. And he’s so kind, forgiving and loving. As a mom this broke me. He has adhd. It takes 1 hour to do 4 sentences with a fully capable child. He reads at 5th grade level, he’s only 7. He builds legos that are very intricately designed. But he has tantrums, he has difficulties socializing, he is extremely hyper, he is forgetful and sometimes I get extremely frustrated. I cry. He says it’s like 200 pictures in his head at once. Just like the channels you talked about.
But nothing in life could have prepared me better for my career in teaching. I guess things happen for a reason.
Some kids do really well with exercise to treat ADHD. (Meds alone don’t always help.) You may want to read Dr. John Ratey’s book called ‘Spark’. He has ADHD himself and is a psychiatry professor at Harvard. Yeah advocates things such as running once or twice a day to help. Many top athletes also workout several times a day.
You seem like a great mother. I'm glad you understand now, better late than never. In my case my mom got me tested at like 7-8 maybe and yeah I was diagnosed with ADHD or rather ADD early but she never educated herself, she didn't know what it was, all she knew was the spacing out and not paying attention. I still got a lot of blame for my doings, especially as a girl its hard because people expect certain things of you. Problem is I didn't know either what ADHD really was until last week, i am 18 now and 10 years or so got wasted. I wish you good luck with your family and lots of luck with your seemingly very sweet son. :)
This could be my son. He is 8, speak two languages and could read at 5. Its hard for him to befriend kids his own age.
Aww, more like a Twice-Exceptional rather than just ADHD. Jessica (the speaker of this tedxtalk) is 2e, too.
I hope all the best for your son and you. ❤
That’s beautiful that you’re there for him I wish you were my mom LOL
When she said "ADHD is like your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels and somebody else has the remote" I felt it in my GUTS
does it have to do like you feel inside you would like to please the ones in "your group" but really you don't care about that; you would rather do what YOU want to do, but you can't because you feel pressured to do otherwise?
@@MarcDufresneosorusrex it doesn’t really have anything to do with pressure from people i mean inevitably you put pressure on yourself but it isn’t about what others say or think it’s kinda just like you really wanna focus and ur trying your best to do so but no matter what your brain just refuses to dial you in on one thing.
@@ryanharkins130 k
"It's brains that are chronically under aroused trying to get the basic level of stimulation all brains need."
Writing this one down. This hits me hard...very hard.
I once heard; "You wouldn't tell a diabetic to force your body producing insulin, then why are you telling me to just want it more?"
It helps me explaining ADHD to people not interested enough or intelligent enough to understand that it isn't a problem of interest.
These comments make me feel less alone in this world.
Same
FR though
Convo that happened in my house:
"It's like you don't want to succeed"
"I DO wanna get good grades, I DO wanna finish my chores in time, I DO wanna succeed"
"Than why don't you?"
"because i cant"
"you just need to APPLY yourself"
this. I want to do good so badly and I try I just cant and my parents just think I'm not trying hard enough.
@@mileyappiah7430 Yea. Its hard to put into words what this feels like too. Because you aren't just failing your parents, you are failing yourself, letting yourself down. Its not like we don't fight for success.
It’s like we’re living the same lives damn
istg people who don't know this is a serious problem be like "well just don't have ADHD"
Haha try getting a planner
I burst into tears when she got emotional, because I've been there. I'm there now. I had an emotional breakdown earlier after studying for hours and hours only to not finish on time, meaning I got a zero on an assignment.
I feel you, I’m there too and it’s so bad that I’m failing classes at college
MissPronounced me too!
Be happy you are in a school situation tho guys. Once that structure breaks and it’s on you to manage your life, work, problems, you will see how much harder it gets. Im exactly her age and same story. When i was early 20s i didnt think to the future ever. Wish i did
My approach to grading students has completely changed, we need to be more mindful appropriate, everyone deserves the chance to succeed.
I shed tears too :')
Watching this because my brain won't shut down and I'm up at 3 am feeling worst about myself. Now i feel better knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you Jessica. ❤
Being a hispanic teen with ADHD has affected my whole life. I’ve been called useless because I couldn’t do things as well as others. Those words alway hurt when I hear because then I start believing them.
Remind yourself that unless they have ADHD, they don't understand so their opinion is wrong.
Hispanics such at understanding ADHD or mental health... I just started avoiding my negative thoughts and the people who aren’t good to me. Regardless of our failures no one should put us down!
I felt like a failure and i was always called lazy. The hispanic community is so toxic but we can make it better for our kids.
YES YES AND YES to this. we can do it tho
In my case it actually didnt idk i felt happy? When i heard my teacher say that
i also got confused and didnt know if i should believe in those words
Its so hard to explain but i actually felt ashamed of myself while we were having a conversation
It was awful i almost cried
I'm writing this from my car, by the side of the road, on my way to a meeting for which I am late, with tears steaming down my face. I am a 43 year old man and this talk just rocked me to my core!
Thank you! Thank you... I really needed to hear that I am not alone and that there is hope... Your story is almost a carbon copy of mine... How did I miss this my whole life! Your talk has given me a clue and I now think I know where to start...
Thank you so, so much!
I read a book called “The 5 second Rule” by Mel Robbins. It’s been a game changer. Really helped with procrastination issues. Get the audiobook. I think it might work better with our brains.
I hope this helps. I think I know how you feel. It very isolating. I always felt like I was hiding my true self from the world because I was so ashamed.
I don’t feel like that any more.
Good luck to you.
Folks like us whose brains work differently will hear, "there's hope" from professionals & loved ones hundreds of times over the years, but until someone who has walked the same path that we have walked shares their own story of hope, we so often (& I speak from experience) can not possibly believe it. Now that I've found that hope, it's important that I echo this elusive truth that may seem like a cliché until a reminder proves vital: there is hope, AND it can be found.
I could have written this comment. Same age, same story.
I hope you are doing well, man. Definitely, you are not alone, and there is hope.
I am 42. I came to know that I have ADHD yesterday. And all my life I have been wondering what's wrong with me? :-(
I love how she corrected herself when she said normal
She’s such a nice and wholesome person
@Bob Wilson A drug promoter is hardly nice
@Bob Wilson She is promoting drugs.
@@alanberkeley7282 and I’m sick of people trying to make it seem like drugs overall horrible. They aren’t. They are life and death for many people. Yeah, adderall isn’t good for the average person but, for someone with adhd, it helps.
@@cathysingleton6929 Ask Richard Fee's parents how good it is
@@cathysingleton6929 Fee was diagnosed with ADHD. Read about his story
this is like the third time i come back here and it still makes me cry, adhd brains lack recognition, it should be normal for us to know who we are
I cried when I watched this. Everytime she tears up, it hits something inside of me. All the moments you’ve had-all the criticisms, the self doubt, the hatred, the shame, the guilt that has been bottling up inside us ever since. Ever since we have known. Ever since we have existed. From the bottom of our ADHD hearts, thank you Jessica. :) I’m a doctor from the Philippines and I’m proud to belong in our ADHD tribe. Thank you for empowering us and most especially, for validating us.
Hi Angela, can Adhd in adults be managed without medications?
I had stopped crying but then your comment made me cry more :'(
دوما احول ان ابرر لنفسي، كره الاخرين، عدم استماعهم لي، تاخيري بالرغم ان اتجهز قبلها 2 ساعتين، مذاكرتي للمدرسة 10يوميا للحصول على الاوائل ، عدم فهم امي وخواتي، تضيعي للشي
كل ذالك جعلني 😭ابكي
Same!
omggg😭😭 legit this
I needed this more than I thought. I'm sitting here. Wife and baby asleep upstairs. Realized years trying to be normal....trying to make friends. Fit in. Feeling less intelligent . I'm ready to start healing. I deserve to win too! Thank you so much for this talk. 2021 & 2022 get ready. It's comeback season.
Ayye rs! We just have to find our strengths instead of trying to better our weaknesses! 💪🏽💪🏽 I’m 21 now and i’ve dealt with it since elementary school and most or everything she said hit home! I ain’t cry but it became personal i know you felt it too! And also other people around us don’t fully understand it they just use the word ADHD and don’t fully understand what it is. Neither do we. I would love to join a group!
Rock on, Brotha! Don't forget to come back in a few months and reply to the comments. Keep us updated.
Yes! Keep us posted! All the best and take care :)
I feel similar after finding her teachings.... and at the same time, thinking of a new layer of healing to address is overwhelming me while feeling inspired and not alone....aaahhh we can do this!!!
How are you doing now? @noahchatha
People with ADHD have such intense emotions
I think it’s actually called emotional disregulation which comes in the adhd care package. She talks ab it in a couple of her vids
@@Hajime319 you've earned yourself a laugh from that care package bit.
I've struggled with it my entire life, and when I was growing up no one knew what it was. As a kid I didn't fit in anywhere. As a teen I kept leaving home because they treated me badly. So I left home early to avoid being beaten. I was labelled a "chronic runaway".I wasn't diagnosed till later in my life, after my daughter was diagnosed. So now there's no time for a career for me. But she got one, and I am very proud of her for what she's doing with her life.