Bullying and Corporate Psychopaths at Work: Clive Boddy at TEDxHanzeUniversity
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- Опубликовано: 2 дек 2012
- Clive is a Professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior at Middlesex University in England. For the past seven years, he has studied the evidence and effects of toxic leadership, and in particular the influence of the presence of corporate psychopaths on various workplace outcomes, including on levels of conflict and bullying at work.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
This is so true. Employers: Don’t take this information lightly. Keep in mind people don’t quit their jobs, they quit people.
Dallana Rivera true words 👏🏻
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Amen!!!❤💕❤
Dallana Rivera You are so right. I have had 4 jobs in my lifetime that were all relevant to my degree(s). I loved each and every one of them. I left each of them. I like the way you put it-I did not quit the job; I quit people who should not have been leaders because they were passive-aggressive psychopaths.
Very well said.
Ironically, the ones who are targeted are the most talented.
Snowball from Animal Farm is the perfect example
Very true!
Or just the ones who do not want to play by the rules of bullies, or just people with a normal life who do not want to be a gang member in a group of bullies, or just someone that has certain talents in certain areas.
So true. The lazy ones are left alone!
Interesting. It's like the bully is jealous and can't have someone around who looks better than him/her.
I am unemployed right now because I left a toxic workplace with a bullying boss.
Hi how are you know? Hope you're in a good place 😊
I hope you found something better.
you will be fine -)
I am you right now... I need to get out from that environment...
YoSr line something up asap
Being bullied at work is absolutely terrible. I've experienced it, and I had to leave my job to protect myself mentally and physically.
Yes ....it is absolutely terrible!!! Only the person can understand the pain of venomous snake if he is the victim. You will loose your confidence and belief and sometimes you may feel like DOOR MAT. I strongly recommend that knowledge on psychopath is a pre -requisite for our survival. Everyone should read " SNAKES IN SUITS ."
Good for you! I hope things are going well for you.
@Kerry Jean Collins Well done. There are some fights, that are simply not worth it.
Me too, it's devastating. I am still healing from it and homeless from it.
@@meloneymoore5102 Find peace within yourself and if it's possible closure. Try not to hang onto the hate you feel for that person, it will consume you.
Psychopaths are rewarded, make the most pay, and are promoted. That's what business wants. It's corrupt, and we live in an utterly corrupt society at the moment. Just the way it is. Until the decent people demand better, we will never be treated better.
As economist Antony Sutton said it is a cycle of plunder and immoral reward. Civilization
Just the way it is. That is the very reason it still exists.
I got that from dilbert i dont need no ted talk
This is true and Psycopaths put the blame on their victims and make them feel guilty.The victims ends up putting their blame on themselves.
THose first two sentences: Too true, and is a good reason to use such tactics. They work. Don't know if our society is Utterly Corrupt though. I think there are a lot of us not using our own power and reason, and looking for some agency or person to save us... It isn't coming. This is democracy, we ARE the society. Are YOU corrupt? No? Then we are not "utterly" corrupt. This gives me hope.
These people are toxic. It just takes one to infect the entire office
Violet Starlight I was the only woman there an It was my nightmare!!!!Times it felted I was on another planet with them acting like that!It has affected my life I the worst way
Violet Starlight Absolutely.
And then that one hires more. They effectively create their manipulative posse. It really stinks.
Jennifer Riedel Worst than that,but Yeah! Nightmare!!!!!!!
The bully in our group is a 63 year-old grandmother. She's convinced everyone loves her, but even her closest co-workers despise her. She will do about anything to advance her status in the company. And, of course, Management loves her.
Bullies crush your passion and motivation for the work that you do. They’re toxic on so many levels and are often pathetic excuses for human beings.
So true. The only comforting thing about all of this, is that I'm not alone
Every time I complete work projects or try to complete work projects these sickos come along talking about lewd matters, worse than high schoolers, worse than drunkards in a bar.
I’ve noticed that they project feelings about themselves onto other employees
@@mylovemachine this is happening to me to, i don't know what to do, can you guys help me out
Often?…always!
I was mobbed by a gang of narcopaths who bullied, harassed, smeared, sabotaged and otherwise made my life miserable. They almost drove me to suicide. They destroyed my career. I tried to report them many times, but the management dismissed it as "personality conflicts". Damn right, they enjoy it. The ones who went after me bragged about what they'd done and laughed about it among themselves. They clearly got off on it. And ignoring them doesn't work at all. They just intensify their attacks. You can't talk to anyone because they will just call you "paranoid" (or they may be in on it). This is far more widespread than many want to admit.
Yip
Deborah Armstrong “if a man makes himself a worm he must not complain when he is trodden on” - Immanuel Kant
I had the same thing, when I speak up about it it becomes a personality clash despite it being clear abuse.
King Nevermore how is that helpful?
Story of my life!
I'm going through this right now... it's the most horrific thing... but it's all done subtly with a smile.... like gaslight ing. ..
treasurelu It absolutely IS!
because corporate people are clever and manipulative
I’m being gaslighted at my job and it started before my first week was over
treasurelu : Exactly!!!!
Cut your losses and find another job. No one deserves this.
Sadly enough, this man is right. The bullies and sociopaths rise to the top, and those who promote them are too weak to see it
callynt The ones who don't see it don't WANT to see it. The behavior of psychopaths seems to be sought after by those wanting to make a profit at any cost to others. When you look at how animals are treated, and by whom, you can well understand that it is power and manipulation that is rewarded. Until we can treat ALL animals with respect we will continue to see psychopaths in positions of power.
callynt
In my experience the people who protect and promote them are just like them.
So all at the top are only bullies and psychopaths thru them? Nice try!
So true.
@@heavensent4284 not always .. they are often promoted to be gotten rid of out of a department, they are often protected from being sacked or demoted becsuse they will have befriended higher up people and have them threatened they will sue their employers or the psychopath will have information and blackmail Co workers or bosses and do anything to survive.
How many "natural deaths" are caused by people being harassed and bullied at work? My guy died of a heart attack, and he had been having daily panic and anxiety attacks BECAUSE of people he worked with. He wasn't shot, or poisoned, or beat up. He was killed by words. He was born with disabilities which made it difficult for him to walk, he was short, and he was an amazing soul that loved and forgave. The people responsible will never realize what they have done because they simply don't care who they hurt or how their behavior affects the world around them.
This happens far more than most people are aware of. And the terrifying thing is this - the narcissists do that on purpose! Yes, they know what they are doing, and they are systematially driving their victims into an early grave, in such a way that they can never be held to account - as you rightly describe, through words, threats, harassment, bullying.
To a narcissist, the death of his/her victim is the goal - not something that happens by coincidence.
❤️
Thank you for sharing about your friend. May he Rest In Peace.
Loads!
That is tragic. I read a sad story about a boss who was a bully, and one poor guy he bullied extra hard The employee had to have heart surgery because of the bully. The very day that the bullied employee came back from being on medical leave, the bully boss went outside to meet him on the parking lot
and no one knows what the boss said to him. The employee got back in his car went back home, got a gun came back to work and killed the bully boss, and himself.
Psychopaths do have feelings. Envy, rage and jealousy!
@shaka mata _ African pride Dont be a bully.
Factor 2 psychopaths maybe but less so factor 1. The latter has an overall flat emotional life.
Happiness and pleasure out of inflicting misery on others.
Only for themselves no empathy for anyone else
The lecturer made an excellent point, bullies are very political and have excellent social connections, they use these connections to destroy people they envy or find vulnerable.
I swear this happened with me as if this guy's speech was formed into a computer program and executed. Yeah, execution happened, for sure.
Yes, they know what they can get away with, this is a sick game, and they always win. Do you best, avoid them, confront or quit, they are going nowhere.
thriftysmurf
Yes. Which enables more bullies to get promoted and keep a mob of like minded in their circle to reinforce the lies.
H B
It's called a mob! Follow Weinstein issue. He had a while plethora of enablers. It went on for decades. The targets..victims are made to look guilty of something. Facts twisted and false accusers join in writing false statements etc. It does not happen in a vacuum.
we got a new manager who came in and started employing new staff (her staff from the previous workplace). The staff member who is already employed with us but was her staff member too (which we found out recently), is showing signs of getting into control of our company and creating smoking mirrors around us individually and promoting staff members, (not capable of doing their job but are friends of hers) and micromanaging staff that are doing their job, bringing the performance into perspective to create chaos and control, who is coming in and who is going to be out soon. This second reason that Clive mentioned (INSTRUMENTAL BULLYING) fits perfectly in it. So everybody is emotionally distracted while she is doing it.
I think it should be a policy in every workplace that checks who is employed and who hired them. Nepotism is the major issue with my organization, we are all confused and we feel that net is closing on us, just don't know who should we talk about this ongoing issue.
I'm mentally and spiritually scarred from working in Corporate America. My personality and personal values have never matched with that culture.
Exactly, same here
Me too.
Same , problem is .
My family is full of those people , i just hate it .
Ten years on. I am having sleepless nights. I wish you well.
They don't have enough money to do the right thing and they never will.
Ted should talk about the unwillingness to train new employees. This is a serious issue that needs to actually be discussed
I agree. Knowledge is power. After our psycho bully left, I found out that she was not as techno savvy or knowledgeable as she pretended to be. She withheld training that should have taken place, because had we been properly trained, we would have picked up her mistakes.
Yeah, I work in an office where cross training is cursory. I'm part of quality control ( imo). One guy who got his spouse a job loved to downgrade my dispatching mistakes, chase me off his detail. I mean, he DID write a commendation of me, but I always remember the sting of my mistakes.
Becsuse they don't want you to perform well. You're the competition now. Employers know this works against the business performance
@@zeynand4039 If they want competition, quit and join the rival corporation. And then help them bankrupt your old employer until all the bullies are homeless and starving.
rjtheripper931 ...agreed. I’ve learned to ‘learn what I can as quick as I can’ then move on. Building up my skills
This was an excellent presentation of corporate bullying and explains why so many employees who were working from home in the lockdown did not want to go back to the workplace.
I don’t blame them.
Yes I’m currently dying fighting tooth and nail because I didn’t find a work form home job yet before my workplace bullies got to conspire against me. 😭
Abuse of the employees is the most serious thing that the company is guilty of..
Breaking the laws and regulations to hide anything that happens that would reflect badly on the company.
Diane Mitchell And it's one of the biggest reasons bosses wanted their employees back. A lot of people become managers because they like controlling people and feeling like they're the big cheese in the room.
There are also the bullies, who have taken advantage of the lockdowns to alienate from their organizations and covert more efficiently their toxicity by the physical distance created due to the lockdowns. Thus, many of them are still very much in favor of remote work, as they are aware that their cover will be blown, once they have to physically interact with their victims and others.
That`s a reason why I quit a marketing job. I was bullied, undermined and ignored. I was suffering in silence. Depressed. Crying everyday. Now, working in medical field. Its amazing. Great team and energy. I found a purpose in my life.
Marketing people are horrible. I had to deal with them in my last job and they were rude, stuck up, ignored me, and were so apathetic. Very cold and no feelings when dealing with people they didn't consider worthy of their respect (me for example, I was in accounting), but very bubbly and nice to everyone else.
Glad you're in the right place. How are you now?
@@coupleofbeers31 exactly my experience. Where do you work now?
@@RoxiLog I am very good thank you. Have a new life. Working within best team. Everyone is so supportive and appreciate my value and my work. I am working within operating theatres and retraining to become theatre practitioner. I don`t look back. Iam soo happy right now. Its never too late to retrain and to try something different
@Cooper McKenzie It that your personal experience? Definitely not mine....
This is one of the reasons why people get sick from work: burnt out and PTSD
So glad people are finally acknowledging this is a thing.
@Righteousness Correct. Now that employers are aware we finally make the needed changes, or at lease try.
The job is easy, but these psychopathic managers and supervisors make it more difficult and complex than it needs to be.
You gotta become cold blooded to crush bullys, get rid of that kindness. In order to fight the devil I had to become a demon.
I agree, I've seen it happen. Either Jesus will help you find something else or better, or he removes the person usually in some other way.
No you become a stoic with the art of emotional detachment. An empathic being capable of coldly deconstructing is a formidable assailant. The essence of being cruel to be kind.
Crushing bullies is bullying itself... Put emphasis on moral behavior and dissuasive self-defense. Not agression.
Great comment HermannTheGreat! Simply put and helped me put things into perspective. Thanks. :)
@@Antoine2208 A lot of bullies are in denial. One I know is the light. But that light is of Chernobyl in meltdown!
Being nice won't fix bullies. That only works for "regular" people. Bullies see nice as a fantastic target. Have to push back, hard. Make them choose some other way to get their jollies - they're addicted to hurting others - give them some antabuse.
More than addicted, they feed off of other's suffering because they cannot produce their own energy.
Dont play the game , nice on surface only
fight fire with fire as these nutcases only understand, fear, and respect hard power
@@lonewarrior9276 with spaths you're in the game whether you like it or not.
@@myhops they must create drama to feed off the energy.
I think a law needs to be created around toxic management. If companies got sued for mental distress, I’m sure they would start caring more
No... Not everything is helped by making yet more laws and government overreach into every aspect of life... There are ways for grown adults to handle most of life's problems without involving the law.
@@austecon6818 But that’s no excuse to reward two cluster disabilities a.k.a. antisocial personality disorder. Not only these individuals cost money in the long run, they’ve been involved with the worst atrocities in history. This is not a game to be horse round with. These are one of the hardest disabilities to deal with because of two particular reasons, pride and power, something these individuals crave more than anything else. They thrive in conflict, and if they don’t have it, they become psychotic which is why bullying exist in the first place with these individuals. But the most devastating part about these individuals is, they’ll never get help, never. What are the biggest talking points to get a mental evaluation, is to admit that you have a problem but you see that is the problem. They can’t see the problem because the problem is they think there’s nothing wrong with them because their God special gift and they’re the chosen one. They’re perfect but in reality, they’re the most distorted individuals you’ll ever meet, which is why they work on their charm and acting skills, and pretend that they care out of fear because They’ll be hunted for, being accused and worst of all completely humiliated.
What would you suggest? Psychopaths are not grown adults. There has to be some sort of authority as psychopaths only respond to consequences. If a company is too apathetic to shut down that sort of behavior, what can the victims do? Especially if the psycho is dangerous?
The law is biased towards the employer. They say jump you should say how high.
HR in the US is a joke. They are there to protect the company and laugh off the worker who is being bullied, which in turn makes the problem worse. So, the only thing left is to leave.
@Julian Wiki Same everywhere
Or the person being bullied just cant take the abuse anymore.
Same everywhere
The only way to protect yourself is to take the matter in your own hands and document everything. Hard to deny evidence even when HR is unwilling to take action
Same here Western Australia
I have experienced this with many employers that I have worked for. I have made up my mind to work for myself. Corporations will quickly fire an employee but will take forever to fire a manager/supervisor despite many employee complaints. What's wrong with this picture? Yes these asshole corporations love to sweep it under the rug. I know this very well!
+Mary Allen So true. I'm going through bullying at the place I work and it looks like I may have to stay at this place for the duration.
This is just a suggestion but do make a plan to escape and be proactive about it. Enduring a psychopath in the workplace has longterm negative effects and it really is not worth it. So, first chance you get, make the leap... ! (Speaking from experience here)
your correct, the longer they are in a place, the greater the damage done. on every conseivable level. as an entirely selfish entity it is hard to understand what they do, in comparison with the minds of those who posses compassion. it is like rotten food, in a fridge the longer you leave it, the worse it gets.
I went through the same experience as you and it took a toll on my health. Good to know that you have decided to work for yourself. Seriously, its not worth working for such psychopaths for corporations tend to side them. At my current job, I am feeling the same way now. I guess its much better to be your own boss.
ya will I try over and over to be a customer service manger for Walmart I know to do the job they train me still will not gave me the job I been there for almost 10 years they still think I can't do a good job. I run the service desk. customers and other associated come to me to help them with a problem but still nothing . but I'm just a back up csm nothing else I know a lot but unable to use what I know but they still use me when there is a problem they need help. they even took my rise away from me one year saiding I get mad to easy. no I do not . so other making 12 dollars a hour only been there for 1 year but me 10 years only 10.60 a hour this is not fair. I don't know what to do anymore I'm on 7 different meds because of this job
Corporate psychopaths are the lowest of creatures and should be flushed out of every workplace!
Unfortunately, the CEO or CFO is often a psychopath too, so it will be a long battle before this problem is solved.
no just get governments to legislate pychopathy tests as manditory for being eligable for the work place. make it impossable for them to get hired in the first place.
lol. " legislate pychopathy tests"? why?
I work for Walmart I have see everything I been call everything by customers not by my boss I was till I'm slow I even got till on my year thing . they try to get me to step down I said no. they stop there and now they will not gave me the job I been wanted for almost 10 years . I'm not fast I'm slow but they hired a person only been there for 6 mouths and don't know money center or service desk
That would shut down the corporations, fed & state government, church, wall street, banking, law enforcement, military, hollywood, and the DMV. We'd stop killing the planet, attain happiness, and there would be world peace. I can live with that.
I have quit my last 2 jobs as a result of bullying... This is a very real thing in the workplace. Very hard to get away from, and such a huge effect on your mental health. It takes time to heal.
And physical health
I hope you are doing ok now and wish you well. Sorry to hear about what happened. I know how awful bullying is.
Currently leaving my first ever job because of workplace bullying. The bit where he said they don’t have a conscious is 100% correct. I thought in May if I talk to her about how she’s making me feel she’d back off. Nope, things have only gotten worse. Thankfully I’m going to a better job with a higher title and more money but now I’m so scared I’m not even excited about my new job because I’m scared that every workplace is like this.
It’s so annoying to know that I’ve had days crying and sleepless nights over this and she’s fine tucked away living her best life. I hope karma gets her, she’s a vile piece of work!
I would love an update--hoping to hear your current job is going well! I have been working for several decades, and while it's true that there is a lot of this behavior, it's not everywhere. Don't ever think that every job is going to make you cry every day, or that that's acceptable. Put your wellbeing first.
I've been through this a few times and unfortunately my resume has suffered as a result with short work histories. I'm amazed how grown adults are allowed to act like children in the workplace. it definitely helps to have a strong ally so you would be left alone. otherwise defend yourself and you will soon be packing. also they resent you if you're not of their fans.
John Martinez 💯🎯
I am in the same boat. 😞
Same here
Either you're with them, or against them. It's really that simple.
I hear you John. Before I saw this video, I thought the bullying may have been somewhat racially based (I'm Hispanic and have clear indigenous features) as I've worked in a number of office sites where no fellow coworker resembled me. But then I would hear of accounts of employees who would get mercilessly bullied by supervisors of their own ethnic background. My resume has suffered too due to bailing from these toxic jobs and I recently quit a good gig due to a bully supervisor. I had enough. Of course I have received flack for leaving jobs from friends, colleague etc..; I've been recommended to "tough it out". I'm a nice guy in the office who is diligent and performs well, so maybe that's why past bully managers sought to prey on me. That's sick that they get off on this kind of behavior and sadly get rewarded too.
The best tactic I know to deal with these people is to play the long game, wear the mask of the fool (they under estimate you), make friends with as many people as possible (you need all the allies you can get), and always hold the moral high ground. In the mean time you're waiting for the right time to strike (when their mask slips)in exposing these people to the group/company and make it look like you are doing it for the benefit of others and the company and not about you.
James Skinner Outstanding if you can do it.
Many will be too crushed to manage this.
Wow! I am currently in this stealth mode!!
Best advice to deal with these monsters....it takes patients and persistence...
James Skinner always allow or make your enemies or potential enemies underestimate you capabilities.
@@djr3501 Mee too. i find this useful.
I beat the workplace psychopaths by acting like I didnt know that I was being targeted although I went home and cried and was depressed. I ignored their silent treatment, avoided eye contact, and walked around with a smile on my face. Since I knew that they were stalking me on social media, I bragged about how much I loved my company and boss. That threw them off and didn't give them the pain from me that they were looking for. Eventually they stoppef since it didn't work in their minds.
It’s like a weird hazing.
This is the key
That is same what is happening with me
So strong!!
Ha! Good job.
Where ever bullying exists so is corruption.
Actually very very true. I too have observed the same.
Psychopaths are not only found in business . They are in all areas of life , especially the justice & education sectors , where they can have power over others & enjoy inflicting suffering .
Don't forget about doctors and nurses!
They also hide in the clergy. And they can be the worst, hiding it behind words of love and God.
Ianacek you must be referreing to Pasco County Family court systems. Child Milling and Child Banking.
Well you kind of have to be a psychopath to shoot someone in the face and feel nothing so the military is no surprise.
Ianacek
🙏🏻😊❤️👍🏻
Takes away your confidence you feel low uncomfortable scared to say anything and hate walking in the office.
Thank you for your words, jingle moss. They helped me.
This is exactly what I'm experiencing right now.
Totally
This isn't just a corporate issue this is all-around issue in all jobs.
Great message. Bullying is notorious in the healthcare industry! It's quite ironic. This fact is definitely swept under the rug.
Makes sense that bullies/psychopaths are attracted to positions of power. I know I've come across many of them.
Ironically, they make the worst leaders.
I've met these bullies, Narcissist in all fields of life, Pastors, Police, Family, doctors, dentist, neighbor, teachers, there are WAY more than 1%, it's about 20 who score high on the Hare scale.
Pfsif i scored 25... i could not believe it... when they say you should be 5-10 as normal
i think this test is wrong. surely 90% of people cannot be that low score?
Well it looks like you are borderline psychopath. Why don't you think that's true? Don't you treat people like shit?
Cackle Back huh?
agreed. They are everywhere.
I always thought that too, I read everywhere that narcissistic personality disorder for example is a rare condition but honestly I've met more than one Narc over the last three years, and I'm not talking about people with tendencies, I'm talking about psychotic bullies that scared the life out of me
That was brilliant! Most people don't delve into this subject because it shocks normal people to their core - its hard to wrap your head around such atrocious behaviour and seems almost like a conspiracy theory! I discovered narcissism about 5 years ago - I goggled "why does my husband keep raging and giving me the silent treatment?". Long story short, it explained what was wrong with my mother, my 2 ex-husbands, friends, other family members and, of course, past bosses. I got rid of the lot and my life is so much better without their crazy-making manipulations. I think the percentage of these people is a lot higher as I have only come across a handful of normal people in my life and I'm 58 years old!
Abuse of the employees is the most serious thing that the company is guilty of..
Breaking the laws and regulations to hide anything that happens that would reflect badly on the company.
I wonder if growing up with it makes it feel normal, causing one to then seek it out subconsciously. . . .
My young niece handed her notice in due to bullying by a female at Cambridge University. Thank goodness a top researcher heard about this and employed her. She travelled all over the world because of him. Bliss.
I feel traumatized and beaten down because of the last two employers, (I don't DO unethical or put up with bullies) and was fired. My therapist says to pick my battles...
How do they expect me to comply with things that ask me to compromise my own integrity? I'm broken.
Melissa Brzescinski
We receive and we lose
And we must try to achieve gratitude
And with that gratitude to embrace with whole hearts whatever remains of life after the losses.
I think the message from your therapist was maybe to do your time “one year” and then seamlessly move on as if nothing happened. Full knowing that you walked away for the sake of your integrity. That way you don’t hurt future employment etc
I'm a national certified medical assistant. I was fired from my last job because I wouldn't get on board with the lax, unprofessional, and low standards of the local clinic. And while I miss the money, my conscience is clear. My favorite RN quit for the same reason. I feel bad that the patients are treated so poorly and without respect.
I have been advised to pick my battles. Also the time and place. Remember you are not fighting just a bully but their flying monkeys. The latter will usually desert once the bully is exposed and power has to act against him. The key is showing power it is in their interests to stop protecting the bully. Act Cold and you will be an effective carer
Thank you for being a good person with a good heart. May all your kindness return to you tenfold.
I have never had corporate bullying from men, but I have experienced bullying from several female managers who were above me. It's not uncommon for females to be tortured by other female workers or female bosses. The male bosses were typically nice to me. I actually had 2 different female bosses at two different companies tell me upon hiring me that since they were very secure in their own self worth, they didn't need their bosses to praise their work so not to expect them to do much in the way of praising my work. What I found out was what they really meant was the only communication you will get is negative. Indeed they never said "Good job.'' They found every minute thing they could possibly find to criticize and nagged me all day long daily. They both also micromanaged. I try to avoid female bosses. They tend to treat everyone like 8 year olds.
I mean I have come across some toxic men in organisations but you certainly have a point. It feels like when men are like this they are at least easier to reason and/or bargain with ie. make clear how getting on well is in both your interests. It has felt like with the toxic women in the workplace I've seen that there's a lot less concern for that and they would be much more willing to tear the whole thing down in flames and let you both suffer the consequences. It's an interesting point to note.
The worst boss I ever had was female. She did not observed performance. Her entire focus was on personality. Three of the four of us in my department were very hard workers. The fourth was a slacker. The rest of us literally carried him along, even working extra to compensate for his lack of effort. He spent Thursday’s doing football polls. He took strolls downtown, took off early to go to beer joints and refused to do anything he did not want to do. Our “brilliant” boss thought the rest of us needed a supervisor so this was the one she promoted. He suddenly changed from a lazy, napping galoot into a demanding, hateful creep who tried to push the three of us past our capacity. The work environment deteriorated horribly. It took all the joy out of what had once been a wonderful job.
Sherry D I am experiencing this now. I want to avoid female managers again from now on......they don't know what leadership means.
@@mariemason4252~~~ Mary, as a woman I do prefer to work with men but only because I know how to use my female traits to lead them. There are more man bullies than women bullies. So good luck to you, dear. LOL
The worst corporate bullying I endured was from men.
When I was being bullied in my workplace by my managers and a bunch of manging dogs it actually made me feel empowered. It made me question why so many people were going out of their way to belittle me and/or fire me. Anyways it just totally boosted my confidence even more which was like a backlash on them.
Christina Marie Bennett that’s a good way at looking and handling it, even they have fears. Good one
awe i love you, girl!
Love it!!! 🥰😍🥰
Bullies pick on someone they perceive as kind or soft
Abuse of the employees is the most serious thing that the company is guilty of..
Breaking the laws and regulations to hide anything that happens that would reflect badly on the company.
I've been with 3 corporate jobs since I graduated college. In all 3 places, you'll always see the sociopaths leading a team or holding a director level role. It's the sad truth that bullies know how to excel in the corporate world, because after all, it's all about the looks, the glamour, and the money at the end of the day. But if there's one thing I learned in my 9 years of working in a corporate world, bullies seem to be very unhappy with themselves. I've learned that the best thing to do if I'm getting bullied is to show little to no effect of what they say to me. It seems to work since I've been able to get promoted and also get a higher pay along the way, and at the end of the day, it's how we react to the situation. It's easy to get caught up with emotions, but if you look at the bigger picture, bullies only have power over you if you allow them to do so.
So refreshing to hear this Ted Talk since I deal with a bully day to day. But it's not letting me down or affecting me, it's just a reminder that I'm equally capable of going to the top without the expense of others.
"Bullies only have power over you if you allow them to do so" - what if they have made you unemloyable with extremely serious false allegations, so they know that you have to dance to their tune because the alternative is being unemployed and unemployable for the rest of your life, losing your house, car, and ending up homeless and starving? Some of us don't have family or friends or any sort of support network.
@@LittleKitty22This is an unfortunate horror story. I think some of this advice about strategizing and standing up to this and that are perhaps well meaning but very misguided. The gist of this TEDtalk: the damage caused by corporate psychos are great and companies need to take this seriously.
@@Here4TheHeckOfIt Yes but companies are run by psychopaths so they are not likely to do anything about it. I've been in the corporate world far longer than the OP and I have studied finances so I know how companies are run. It has nothing to do with being emotionally unaffected, as the OP suggests - and thereby insinuates that those of us who have had our lives destroyed by the actions of psychopaths in high positions, are just unstable and fragile freaks!
The real world is - either you are a psycho, which is guaranteed to get you to the top, or you go under. It's not what you know but who you know or who you sleep with. In thirty years, I have never known any different. I'm living proof - highly educated in finances but a destitute bag lady now, nobody can tell me that this is just due to my stupidity (if it were, I wouldn't be able to write this reply)!
I worked with a psychopath who eventually became my boss. He was disarmingly charming and a total snake.
did he coerce ladies to sex?
Just like my current boss - chief product officer - i don't really want to compare her with snakes - it is an insult for the snakes.
LOL, I met so many people like your boss.... the biggest snakes are usually very charming in the beginning.
True story: One day the police came to escort the 'bully' away for fraud. Keep your head up, The law of karma is in full effect.
Yay!!!
If this were true, Hillary Clinton would be behind bars.
Yes, this happens. Sometimes it happens years after I've found another job. But it's still satsfying.
Sadly, not all the time
Yes😔
I dealt with so many of these types of people for years until I finally decided my mental health was far more important and I got the fk out of the corporate world. I am so much happier now.
I am a women and I refuse to have a woman for a manager, supervisor ect.... woman do not judge you by your work and are the biggest bullies towards other woman in the workplace.
Other men too.
Very true! EVERY female manager I had, turned out to be a complete nightmare.
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. But being a woman, it sucks when women throw other women under the bus. I've heard anecdotes about great female bosses, but they're usually from men. Go figure.
The worst type of manager is a male manager who is weak and use the Aamer tactics as women to outcast you and bully you...
I've had a couple of them and it was horrible. Impossible to be factual with them and always walking on egg shelves
💯 still healing after 4 years of terror. They want you to loose your mind, job, hope everything!
Because she wants to be picked!
just emailed this to a former supervisor
Marco Salmistraro Nice
Marco Salmistraro Wish I could
Nice
LOL
Epic!!!
As a 30 year veteran educator, I can attest to teachers who ignore bullying in their classrooms and on the playground in public AND PRIVATE schools.
Do I ever agree many times over!!!
You are correct Mr. Turner and I am witnessing a progression in bullies attacking the vulnerable in school settings which is pathetic. I think of the True Detective episode when Ray confronts the father of his son's bully with some brass knuckles. Far too aggressive but I would surmise the kid learned hypothetically (
And then deny that bullying occurs.
I don’t worry about jerks or bullies, I put my foot down and I won’t put up with that nonsense ! They need to mind their own behind and stop picking on people, they will run into the wrong person one day it’s just a matter of time!
You are right. Majority of us have grown up recieving of witnessing kids being bullied in the classroom and everywhere else, whilst teachers turn a blind eye!
These psychopaths exist in all walks of life; Not just in the corporate world. Even in volunteer organizations, we see this. It's the most emotionally draining thing I have ever had to deal with.
He said it in a nutshell- criminal minded psychopathic individuals entering the corporate world to continue their crimes. What a mess they make!
I have been through this I thought I was going to lose my mind but I got through
good for u mate
Ankur Ghosh I
michael morgan ....how did u get thru? I'm dealing with this myself but my odd add-in is I'm a practice manager and have fallen victim to various ones in my own staff and also upper leadership, altho that's not the surprising part. I guess I shouldn't be surprised about anything at this point.
michael morgan I would also like to know how you managed to get through it. In such a dark place at the moment
JustEmailAngela build relationships with coworkers whom you trust. Do your job, as soon as unacceptable behavior occurs, document it, have a witness, & follow protocol, chain of command. These toxic people seem to want YOU to snap & do something to get fired or arrested. Praying for you.
His example about the boss looking down on all of this from the top down and seeing the psychopath as the only level headed individual is probably the most important part of this whole talk.
What these people do is they create a reaction in othes. Their mindgames and covert cruelty and sabotaging behaviors eventually cause level headed people to snap - the psychopath then uses that reaction to prove to outsiders looking in that the victim is actually the crazy one. It's perverse and this doesn't only happen in a corporate setting, it can happen in families, romantic relationships, etc.
Jonathan Ellis Yes, gas-lighting is similar practice: they’ll claim they’re not being a bully, it’s just you overreacting and misreading things. If the bully is a coworker, some bosses usually only see the bully in a positive light, because that’s the facade the bully puts on whenever they’re in the boss’ presence. This way the bully ensures you have less credibility if you ever report them.
That happened in my family.
I can relate to the same style of torture, I call it marriage.
Yes psychopaths and narcissists love gaslighting. This mass crazy making does superficially big them up. Managers have to be aware and proactive before they are patsied and pushed out by Yours Deceitfully
Jonothan, it's not the marriage that's the problem, it's a person in it. Maybe you are the problem.
I suspect one of the other reasons psychopaths don't get fired is that sometimes, the bosses are afraid of them.
no they just think they can use them, till times comes around and they find out the pet doggie was a monster in disguise, and they get bitten with time too, funny, kinda wish i was there to see it all go down lol -- oh well.
Either they know something or they are in a protected class. Many of these companies are forcing folders with diversity which is problematic because they sacrifice skills and qualifications for a “diverse” candidate and that person might not have the skills to do the job. When people are threatened that they might we figured out and lose their jobs they normally lash out at others to make themselves look better.
Workplaces are difficult no matter what. Favoritism, politics, nepotism...I've been through them all. If you don't talk at work, you're unsociable. If you do talk, you're labeled a goof off. You're always told "Don't get on her/his bad side" You're constantly called in to the Head Office and accused of having something to do spreading rumors. You say "I had nothing to do with it" and he boss says "I'm not saying you did" Really?!! I've worked with bullies, wet blankets, drama mamas, generally people who hated their jobs and took it out on you. I was bullied by upper management and targeted by middle management all because I was raised to work, to be responsible and that was the expectation of me. After 20+ years of this, I quit offices, took advantage of technology and started working from home . Lesson learned!
Its so sad that there are such cruel people in this world. How do you find joy in hurting people 💔
Good Question? Doesn't sound like support to me?
i have experienced this my whole life in work forces... It destroyed my self confidence working with other people. i rarely work with people now...
the solution is to start your own business and refuse to hire sociopaths and bullies!
Stop the world I want to get off.
Thank you for your honesty, Helen of Troy. It helped me. I hope things are better for you now.
How do you work?
I'm currently unemployed and feel the same as what you've said. After many years of being around workplace politics and emotional exaustion I find myself searching for jobs where I don't need to interact as much and can avoid bullying somehow.
My workplace bully resigned, he was the store director, all the other managers reported to him. It was simple, I took notes for 3 months: Dates, times, events, names, witnesses. I made copies and sent them to HR, I was even prepared to hire a labor attorney, however, that was unnecessary. He loved the security cameras, he watched them often, I bet he never would have guessed they'd be so useful in contrast with my notes.
I literally just quit my job on the spot. I was hired as a Code Compliance Specialist 3 months and 1 day ago. I have an extensive background in law enforcement so this position was something I knew I could do with the right training. My first day was August 15, 2022 with the Town of Oro Valley (I also happen to live in Oro Valley too). On my first day, I was told the person who was supposed to train me, and who had been with the Town for 18 years, had just been placed on administrative leave. In addition to that, I also learned that my new team were currently teleworking and only coming into the office on rare occasions. However, my position would be field-based and would require in-field training. So now, the person who was consistently in the office and available for training was out on leave for an indefinite amount of time. By August 18, 2022, I was told that my would-be trainer had resigned in lieu of termination. In addition to that, I was also told that the position I had been hired for, Code Compliance Specialist, was being re-imagined as a hybrid of both my position and the recently vacated commercial and residential Zoning Inspector position; a job that I have zero previous experience doing. When I brought my concerns to my manager, I was told that I can contact anyone on my team via Microsoft Teams and that Teams was an adequate and appropriate training methodology for an in-field position; I do not feel this to be the case. Adding additional confusion to my new position was the fact that I was listed as a Building Inspector on the Town's internal portals. In my attempt to adapt and overcome, I took on the new hybrid position and tried my best to learn the position goals, duties, and expectations. I attempted to maintain communication with my manager, even though he also was teleworking, and express to him the tools, training, and resources I needed in order to be successful. He told me that the department was not going to hire an additional position to support the vacancy and that instead, my salary would be re-negotiated to support me doing both positions. However, I was still expected to take on both positions without any existing SOPs, training manuals or in-person field training. I continued to communicate my training needs and desires to my manager but was met with frustration and downright furiousness when he and I would speak about the subject. On three separate occasions, he even went so far as to yell at me both via Teams and in person; one time was even witnessed by a fellow team member but nothing was done or changed.
Three months later, after proverbially treading water, fighting for training, and only receiving pictures of what I should be looking for while performing duties in the field, I was able to perform about 25% of both positions but every day was filled with uncertainty and confusion. During the second incident of verbal harassment by my manager, I actually told him to calm down and that he was being unprofessional. At that point, I felt like I had had enough so I handed him my ID and told him I was done. He started scrambling when he realized that I was ready to walk and convinced me to give him a two week notice rather than leaving immediately. During my exit interview with the Director of HR, I explained exactly why I was leaving my position. The Director told me that what I had experienced was not how the Town operated and that there were clearly mistakes made in multiple areas. He told me that he didn't want to accept my resignation but rather would appreciate the opportunity to get things back on track. I agreed and he asked me to give him 48 hours to work up a plan of action. However, a month later, nothing had been presented to me. At that point, my manager yelled at me for the third and final time. Our conversation had been going just fine during a routine one-on-one but when I began expressing how I felt it had been difficult to navigate both positions with no training manual or resources of any kind, he began raising his voice at me and stated, "We can't give you what you need. We can't give you what you want and this isn't going to work because what you want, we don't have." Hearing that message and the manner in which it was delivered, that was it for me. On November 16, 2022, I walked out of his office, packed my personal belongings, and walked straight to the HR office where I again met with the Director. I handed in my ID and explained to him what exactly had just occurred and what had been said. The HR Director didn't even fight what I wanted to do. I was surprised to be met with tears and sympathy from many of the people in my joining department, they felt bad for the circumstances I had been hired into and lived with for the past three months.
This manager forced me to resign a very good paying job and opportunity. I can't help but feel that because of his 25 years with the organization, there is unjust loyalty to him for fear of losing his historical knowledge. The Town never investigated any of the three incidents of verbal aggression, they never interviewed any of my co-workers, and they never provided any real training to me. They lost a solid, hardworking employee with character and integrity who would have retired with the organization if it weren't for my narcisstic and uncontrollable manager. Please never allow yourself to be bullied or abused by anyone in the workplace. My onboarding experience and what followed at the Town of Oro Valley was witnessed and acknowledged by around 20 long-term employees but nothing was ever done to stop or prevent what took place due to the fear of retalliation. I am not a quitter but I love my self enough to say no, I won't tolerate this bullying, hostile, and threatening person any longer.
I can very much relate to your story. It's incredibly frustrating to face institutionalized bullying -- and especially when you have presented such clear red flags from the beginning, like you did by outlining your concerns and issues. I've dealt with more covert narcissists in my life (professionally and personally) than I care to count. The gaslighting aspect of this is by far the hardest for me to swallow ..... because it's often the most effective, when that person treats you in such a way that you know something is off, then you identify what it "off", and when you try to address it head-on it either gets worse or you are made to look and feel crazy. I love your last sentence -- you aren't a quitter but love yourself enough to say no. THAT''S the most important take-away. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck in finding something better for yourself, with more integrity.
I’ve gotten much relief from bullies through therapy.
A common story. It is amazing that Humanoids have progressed as far as we have. This angry, resentful and "controlling" man has power that he uses to abuse others. That won't change. Good luck.
Proper training in a complex position applied for is lacking in the work place, for sure.
Real talk I think that last time was him being frustrated at the situation, not at you. I think if you would have stuck it out and not taken things so personally, you could have kept a very good job. But I understand why you took it personal. The first two times were unacceptable, which made you overly defensive of the third time.
I went to management about bullying, he turned it on me and defended the bully ! But I did take one good thing away from that which was his words ! Hard evidence ! So now I record all my interactions with bully's on my phone for hard evidence !
Carl Andrew Butcher .....Good idea. I hope you know all about narcissists. This is what he is talking about but won't say! Every last detail he explained is exactly what all psychologists detail about narcissistic behavior. There are plenty of videos on youtube about this. The media constantly avoids reporting on this huge problem too. About 8% of all men and 6% of all women are narcs. Yet zippo media coverage because narcs are everywhere in positions of power including the media and government! This is a fact. Research and learn for yourself. It's a huge cover-up to not educate society on a key reason behind corruption in corporate america.
Great idea, but I think it’s illegal to record someone without letting them know first.
@@trevor_corey8037 yes, but if it's a case in terms of wrongful termination cases... They will ignore that
Everything you say rings true. I was bullied by a corporate psychopath. I work for a government agency. For 2 1/2 years at least once a week I was pulled into meetings where I would get yelled at. I would get threatened with discipline (suspension). I received emails stating my performance was not up to par. I was given twice the amount of work as others. There were special rules for me. I received poor performance evaluations. I had my pay coded as absent without pay even though I was working. I was suspended twice. Had multiple disciplinary hearings. It was the worst experience of my life. I was so anxious all the time. Then he tells management see what a wreck the guy is. I served the final suspension about 4 months ago. I have since moved to another office about a year ago where there have been no problems. I have PTSD due to my experience. I brought up the fact to management and personnel that I was hazed. They didn't seem interested and took no action. The manager was promoted.
It's unfortunate that "HUGE" global companies who boast anti-harassment policies fall flat when it comes to enforcing the very "Ethical Code of Conduct" they expect all employees to uphold year in and year out... You're not alone Brother... there are very many good sources of healing from Narcissistic Abuse and C-PTSD here on RUclips. Just search either one of those topics and you'll be surprised the available channels and videos to help recover from the unwarranted abuse received directly from a very sick, manipulative, cunning, demeaning, covert & overt Narcissist.
Good luck in your journey of healing. 🙏
Omg. This is my second day at my new job and that is a great word. I knew I was being hazed. The manager went out of her way to put as much pressure on me as she could, it was insane.
i have had a similar experience.
I had a similar experience too , but finally went to HR and I wonder if I could sue them for a settlement now
We need to learn to walk out on anything that threatens our mental health.
yep that's me. i've been unemployed for a while because i've been too scared to go back to a traditional job after a workplace bully absolutely ruined my mental health and my physical health took a real beating as a result. I'm looking at a career change to an entirely different industry because of it. Bullies have to be held accountable not promoted!!! the LAST thing they need is more power over more people!
Bullying should be considered a crime in the workplace.
This type of behavior permeates higher education as well.
I worked on four universities in Philadelphia and had to leave each one due to Corporate Psychopaths.
Absolutely!!!
Dr. Shandra Terrell Williams : THAT IS CORRECT!!!!!!!!!
Very true!
The head of my department was a psychopath where I was a student. I witnessed his denying a PHD to a fellow student by rejecting his final exams. He tried to do the same to me however I went over his head and he was forced to accept my test results as valid. This was a pattern he did for many years before his chairmanship was taken away by someone who also fought back.
Problem with people like this, and also toxic managers is, that they're usually higher in an organization that you and you've already lost before starting a fight....it's best to just go away from that job, even if the company pays well, that's not worth them to ruin your life and health.
Either way, they ruin your life/livelihood.
So treu. You just cant fight it .
Exactly
It's easy to say, just leave - what if they have made you unemployable with very serious false allegations?
VERY comprehensive talk regarding corporate psychopathy. Top 5 reasons why I started my own business: be "truly" in charge of my own career.
My supervisor bullies me so bad. She actively monitors me 24 hours a day. Reads my emails and instant messages. Puts unrealistic and unreasonable requirements compared to others with same job. This explains her motives.
Authoritarian, hierarchical structure of management. Perfect environment for bullies and psychopaths to thrive.
My strategy to deal with corporate psychopaths is - switch jobs frequently. My policy is never stay at the same corporation more than 1 year. If the environment is extremely toxic leave that corp right away. Stay strong look for another job (where you dont have to deal with management) or start your own hustle.
This is how I've done it. For various reasons I tend to go about 2 years in any given job or department. A couple times I went 4 years, but the last time I had a show down with a psychopath....he lost and was sent on a one month sebatical (HR knew I could have sued).
But now, after 2 years in a job I've attracted the attention of several bullies. One got fired for fraud, but she left behind 2 of her cabal, who now are set on retaliation. Thankfully there is the option to transfer to another location.
No pay increases, no vacation, no benefits, no thanks. Staying only a year is what corp psychos want.
@@betsybarnicle8016 Sounds biblical dude
@@dar1n_fgp Divine intervention.
And now I've transferred, keeping my pension/vesting, and this new office is full of stable, smiling, friendly co-workers. One by one the workers from the first bad place are transferring to my location or others. Amazing how one bad manager can empty a building, and yet no one fires them.
Luvyatubers, everytime you hop jobs you'll get paid more. Hopping jobs as how you get the raise your current company won't give.
We all know how it feels when your immediate boss takes great pleasure in bullying you just in order to command your respect as they feel threatened by your competence.
The system selects and rewards psychopaths. It is the system we need to change, or nothing will change, and we literally owe it to our children.
I am in similar situation and was branded as "crazy" for speaking up.
Amanda T [👌(
My ex boss called me paranoid
ミスナオ my boss and my coworkers
Amanda T i have experienced this same thing where the bully said openly to our management that I was crazy
Yes people got branded as being a snake for going behind their boss to upper management
Very happy I got my psychology degree. I can look at you're body language and facial expressions when you speak and tell within one minute if you are a sociopath or a good person. Makes friendships and career choices a lot easier.
JOSEPH PASQUARELLA please share some tips
The tone of voice helps me too
When they stop looking at you in the eyes, whereas they used to...Watch Out!
JOSEPH PASQUARELLA It also limits them also. Most ppl don’t get it.
Can you share body language traits?
I just went through this. Corporate do not know how to handle them. They actually rewarded them for their behaviour by paying them out.
Creating a dysfunctional work environment on purpose is Psychopathic...
Thank you!!!!!!
And you'll never spot a psychopath in time to save your own life.
Patricia Egan only if you dont know what to look for they all are similar cab be spotted after you have suffered and educated your self about them
I kinda think intuition can tell you early, when you allow yourself to take your intuition seriously. Sometimes a friendly seemingly "normal" person can somehow given you a feeling that tells you to better stay away. I came to trust my feeling and take them seriously and really stay away if I can. Like when people somehow radiate some kind of strong egoisem or recklessnes or coldness or big amount of aggressivnes or whatever else negativ traits of character that make me uncomfortablae. Also how they treat others is like a warning and can tell you how they maybe might treat you on day.
Patricia...we spot psychopaths in plenty of time constantly. They're pretty obvious once you know what to notice.
I actually in the other hand understand that they are hard to spot because they can give quite a sympatetic look at first glance and I had and have problems as well to understand if someone is like that. If one ends up in a situation that involves bulling one should not blame onesself for not spotting the bully beforehand. If anyone is to blame than it is of course the bully and not the one who gets attaced. I hope my previous answer didn't come of the wrong way. I hope sincerly your not in any kind of situation and I sincerly hope your fine and don't have and problems with people that treat others bad. (Sorry for my english. I'm from Europe and not a native speaker.)
Well, from my experience, Very Few people have a good "Poker Face" and you should be able to read their expressions, words and illegal activity.
What an excellent lecture, I got a job right out of college and what were supposed to be the 10 best years of my life were the most traumatizing. These groups of psychopaths who picked on me were the most socially connected people. What left me suicidal is the fact that all women in that office turned against me to please those people. My response simple: avoid, flight....which backfired and they got even more aggressive. After those traumatizing years, I have lost faith in God, lost faith in humanity, don't want to get married or have children, have completed isolated myself, can't sleep at night nor get up in the morning, and the only thing stopping me from killing myself is the hurt my brother will go through, after hearing of my demise.
Faraz K What industry did you work in, if you don't mind me asking.
Sounds like high school.
Faraz K Please care at least about your brother enough to make an appointment with your doctor. Your being suicidal doesn't impress the bullies; it harms only you and your loved ones. There could be a chemical imbalance that is influencing your feelings. I have such an imbalance and thank God every day for the medicine that keeps me balanced. I hope you see this message.
Faraz K I'm so sorry that you're suffering. I think you have PTSD. :(
Faraz
Do not ruin yourself over these losers. They may be outwardly successful but as human beings, they are ultimate failures. I myself have done similar things you did and as a result, the idiot bully thinks that he could destroy me. As stressful as it was, I am going to put him in his place of losers club.
I do not know your industry but do not give the the pleasure by ruining yourself. What did not kill you made you stronger. Bully picks of others who avoid stupid petty retarded things that bullies do because inside they knew that they're losers. Can you change your job?
All of us have to be very conscious of this. I was bullied starting from family, school, work at past partners. When you suffer this from childhood, you tend to repeat patterns.
I’m happy I understand I’m not a victim, and the minute you release and forgive, you get your empowerment back.
Great Ted Talk, Great
Ana Robertson Angel’s Whisperer yes! All of this Sis ♥️🔥
Okay, so do you think you repeat patterns or do you think the people who bully and often act in the same damaging ways repeat patterns?
When I was in the Army, I had a superior Officer who was a textbook psychopath. She made life miserable for anyone who worked immediately under her. She ruthlessly tormented anyone who was better qualified, educated or capable than she was. I escaped by leaving the Army as did many of my peers. Anyone above her thought she was perfect. It astounded me that nobody could see the toxic environment she perpetuated. It took me a few years of civilian life and keeping in touch with some of my fellow ex-soldiers, that I realized that we were all victims of a psychopath.
Hope your doing better?x
@@user-of9bx1uk3u much better, thank you for asking. One thing I did learn from this was how to recognize/avoid psychopaths and more importantly, how to minimize the damage they can inflict on others.
Finally, somebody who got it right. Thank you.The rest of workplace (or any other area of life ) bullying is done by narcissists.
Ella Nola Yes covert and overt malignant narcissists.
Yes and Sociopaths!
@@HighSpeedNoDragish they would go extinct. Ultimately, everything they achieved has left a trail of blood and tears. At the end of the day, they really don't leave anything good behind.
I’ve been bullied daily at work for almost 3 years, as have my coworkers. Last year I had an ER visit, doc thought heart attack so sent me to ER. Turns out it’s all stress. Now I have panic attacks and am on medication. I’m not the only one on meds either solely because of the bully. I’m now working on transferring to another position and told the bully exactly how I feel. I’m out $5k for medical costs due to the bully. It’s madness. Where can employees can go for help? Not HR. Thank you for this video. It will take me awhile to heal. This needs to stop.
When the supervisors continue their bad behavior towards an employee it gives the leeway for other employees to mistreat that employee. I'm done with toxic workplaces.
I cried so hard listening to video. I have over 12 years of accounting experience. All I ever wanted was to work hard and provide for my kids. I was bullied and then laid off. I am unemployed and on welfare in 2022. I am so ashamed when I have to pull out my food-stamp card to pay for my groceries. But I’m so scared to go back to work and even to social outside my apartment. My family doesn’t really know how bad my problem is.
You need to seek therapy and talk to your friends then.
@@Some-Rage-Inducing-Provocateurhe may have no support system please show some compassion. @Shameilla2004 so sorry you went through this. People can be quite horrible and their ideas about life often lead them to behave in unhealthy ways. Not your fault
Another problem is that all these anti-workplace bullying, anti-harassment policies don't seem to be working very well. Some of these ppl in power seem to think that they can just walk all over these rules and bend them to their own liking. They don't just try to oppress others because their victims allow it, but mainly because the system allows it.
A-v Vyas 984do 12th
the problem is that HR and LEGAL in corps back up management even when the manager is a sociopath
They only end up protecting the bully because when bullying is reported and dismissed it gives documented legitimity for the bullying to continue. What started out as a good idea ended up as being a useful tool for the bullying. Most of the anti-bullying comittes have people working on them as a side task, are not educated enough in the field and will do what upper management tells them to do which is to sweep things under the rug because it's the easier the thing to do. The end result is a culture of bullying, high turnover, sick leave, loss of reputation among the clientele and work processes that are malfunctioning at all areas of business. It is the beginning of the decline and the downfall of a company and how long that spiral into abyss takes depends on company profits, the market, competition etc. but have no doubt about it, it is the end.
Finally, more research and discussion about bullying in the workplace. The cost is so high, especially to the victims.
The companies that keep these losers around for whatever reason, do not realize the liability that the bully is not only to the company, but to each and every officer of that company. Ultimately they will destroy the company when all the lawsuits start rolling in, after all there is no time limits to claiming abuse, and those people who think there is, have a lesson coming. If they're smart, they will figure out a way to correct the problem. I think posting signs that bullying will not be tolerated is a start. Regular meetings to discuss workplace issues is another. A strong and effective HR is also good.
Psychopaths can be very much valued in a company when they're willing to take chances, push agendas, make cutthroat changes, and show up every day all chipper and ready for another round. That's appealing to boards and management who don't have the stomach for these things themselves.
They're often also quite charming, and quite strategic in their behavior, so while they're undermining trust and stability in the workplace, they can still be very much liked. They are not losers, and they're certainly not the losers that their victims end up being. In fact, the bully's confidence soars higher as they succeed in their games.
And, finally, liability for these folks, and for the companies that employ them, is rare. Lawsuits are expensive for the plaintiff, corporations have attorneys on their payroll, bullies pick victims who are likely to not fight back, it's hard to prove bullying, colleagues are rarely willing to risk their jobs to provide corroboration and, if things start looking unfavorable to the bully, he or she just moves on.
Narcissist Free -almost Your Right!It's so very hard for me but I have another job an experienced more harassment by the men,damn they don't no how to act at times,Not all Men
Narcissist Free -almost FACTS
Mekatekalook, that's true. Great commentary.
The Ironic thing here is that there is guaranteed to be at least three work place bullies in this man’s audience.
What I've observed over and over, especially in my last job, is that there are a rotating door of employees that will leave the same department in under two years, sometimes without other jobs, and sometimes quitting the field altogether. Yet, leadership continues to look the other way and focus more on getting bad reviews off of Glassdoor than actually addressing the issue. Meanwhile, there are constant employee gaps, causing more strain and adding to the low morale.
Absolutely
This awareness should be brought in at school level. Kids should be thought about psychopaths, how to spot them and how to deal with them. So, when we become adults, it's second nature to us to protect us and our kids and we segregate them rather than allow them to be promoted and poison whole corporates or, evenworse, a whole country.
This was one of the key parts of the program I taught to children!
What if the child is a sociopath himself herself ! I agree all should be ta8ght about this.
It doesn't quite work that way. If kids get taught at school how to deal with psychopaths/narcissists, all it does is teach the psychos/narcs how to get even cleverer to deceive their victims - and everyone else around them!
Also, teach your children the value of kindness. Even a small act has a way of mitigating the monstrous behavior of a mob. That is the power of kindness. These psychopaths will never have that kind of power
Devaluing a person is the worst thing one person can do to another. I am now at a happy stage in my life due to, having a very supportive wife and family, having our house paid off, having a low level of needs or demands in life.
When corporate creatures find out that you need them badly enough due to having a large debt, a demanding or non supportive social network or family and a demanding partner then you are in a bad place. It is vitally important to map out an exit strategy on your own terms and in your own time so that you can leave the corporate trap you find yourself in. Lesser qualified people will be dumped in favour of more "useful" more qualified people no matter how wrong the behaviour of the more "useful" people in the corporation. Most bullies are clever enough not to resort to crude violence or criminal behaviour, they push it right to the limit of legality in most situations.
It is vital to maintain a balance of need in your work life. You should not need a particular job or position so much that you have to put up with bad treatment in order to maintain it.
I just quit a toxic place where I was blame for their mess. I was there two months. The first thing I will work is on my confidence. It feels like I failed.
Heads up, blaming someone they hired for 2 months for the companys problems is exposing their lies. Even them saying this shows, they just want to say vile things about nice employers for blaming. Hope you are feeling better now! Bullies will be punished at the end!
I've been going through bullying since the third grade. I am almost 54 and I'm still getting bullied at work I don't know how much I can take any longer back in the day I never thought about suicide as a child I was overeater I was overweight My mother hated it I couldn't win at either level. I'm so tired of being bullied It's my life story and I wish and pray it would end. I wish there was help because no one really wanted to help anyone who's being bullied because of fear of what it entails. I sit here today wishing I didn't have to go back to work and have to deal with coming to work and be bullied not only by your coworkers but your bosses. God help me I know I'm not alone but something have to give. Come help me someone needs to be on my side for once just once stand up for me stand up for us
God bless you. Hugs. 🤗
I feel like that too God please have mercy on us and everyone
This is a very frustrating situation because everybody knows the guy is a bully but they refuse to do anything about it and put it under the carpet saying ''you know how he is''.
The worst part is when you stand up to them and find yourself alone, with nobody backing you up. People are cowards and they deserve to be bullied. Even my wife says I have to deal with it because that is the way the world works and everybody deals with it. I guess this is what separates the wolfs from the sheeps.
I am done being bullied. I will be smarter than these psychopath and manipulate them to my advantage...after all, you only lose when you are the victim.
then manipulate them to their own destruction. make the world a better place one dead cocroach at a time. leave the weak to die, the strong survive, it is the way of nature. psychopaths do so much damage to people and relationships of every kind. that said no one diserves to be abused by a psychopath who isn't one. plus they can actually "repoduce" this way. all in all... go get em >;) because flowers can grow up strong when the're being strangled by the weeds.
no... only moral courage. when people understand what cowardice costs, they wont tollerate it anymore.
The thing is the bully is the coward themselves, the ringleader needs his yes men to make him feel strong, alone, he cant even defend himself.the bully ringleader is a former bully victim.Fact.
The Dark master Which people do you expect to understand that it costs? Most people are silent bullues. They won't try to un derstand
The worst are the enablers. They just don't care unless it effects them.
I worked in a place where a lot of that was going on. Many people ended up leaving because of these types managers. I documented this in my recent blog.
Win Caz my work like that I work for Walmart there a lot going on
Careful of the blog. Supervisors troll employee blogs, facebooks, etc.
I left too. I don't need abuse in my life.
My workplace bullying has turned into community harassment bullying. It follows me everywhere job or out in public. 2+ years now. Very frustrating!
record them, love and post
That’s horrible and I am sorry
@rachelmills1511 how to solve the problem? I am also facing the same issue
Yes. It's pervasive. But nothing is done about it. These bullies are protected from the top and anyone who stands against them is labeled, fired, demoted, downsized, etc...
I knew three people, two at work and one at college, who I believed were psychopathic. If talking was an Olympic sport, they'd win gold medals. If you stood my co-worker in a field, he'd argue all day about the colour of the grass. I tend to find the real trigger for psychopaths is when they have to do something tangible. That is when they reveal their true colours, the anger, the egoism, the arrogance, the laziness , the fecklessness and passing the buck. When I told other employees about his bad temper they'd look at me as if to say, "Are you talking about the same person?". For the record, I quit in the end.
well that's good, all that negativity can't be good for you. Do you have any bad traits or was it solely this other person?
thanks for showing. i myself have suffered bullying which had seriously affected my life
I've seen first hand how HR treat workers who report bullying as whiny troublemakers and fire them.
That's why it's pervasive.
i can relate with work bullying.. most bullies are the ones in power