5 signs you have ADHD and autism
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- Опубликовано: 29 окт 2022
- In this video, I talk about what it's like having both autism and ADHD and how this can feel from an inner perspective. ADHD and autism have many similarities, but also many conflicting traits, so this can be really difficult to unpick sometimes.
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Ooo. Now do ADHD and cptsd 😅
Oh my gosh, you hit the nail on the head with, “Can’t stay home because it’s too boring; can’t leave home because of overstimulation.”
for reeeal I always want to "go do something" but then I try to think if things to do and I'm like "no too loud. nope too many people. no lights are too bright there-" so I just sit at home doing nothing in the end ugh
This is how I feel, I have a love/hate relationship with leaving the house, because I don’t know the overstimulation I’ll have while out and about. Sometimes I realize I’d rather be super in control of my environment than experience something new
Yes!
Yesss! That’s why sometimes I used to go for a solitary walk with my headphones in (in safe areas, of course; it was downtown in a well-lit area popular for people walking around with many cops on foot out and about… be safe when walking with headphones in, y’all). I liked being out and getting some stimulation from a different environment, but for heaven’s sake, don’t talk to me. 😂 I had a that “public transportation-user” pace, where you’d walk with a purpose at a fast speed to prevent people from interacting with you. 😂😂😂
Oh god it’s my problem with warehouse work. I will get understimulation because I can’t keep up the energy to maintain a constant flow of interesting imaginary situations because of being overstimulated. I have an extremely cluttered room… which shuts me down. Until I manage to find enough motivation for cleaning. Then I have about a month of wonderful peace there.
The inner conflict is maddening. All the things that make me feel most alive quickly burn me out. Yet, living a quiet little life that avoids burnout triggers depressive episodes through understimulation. When making major life decisions it's like deciding which kind of breakdown I'd rather have. Heh.
Wow story of my whole life.
Yesssss. I hate making decisions for this very reason. Even when they are both good things, it feels suffocating, it's not fun, I'm not excited, I'm exhausted and I just want someone to tell me what to do!!!! A few weeks ago I was randomly offered 2 amazing job opportunities that were both way better than where I was working then. One was an opportunity for more money, 100% remote work, but extremely strict and was for an insurance sales agent position. The other was 50% remote, same money as my current job, but absolute freedom to do whatever I wanted, and I'd be the agency manager at a local insurance agency. I did not plan on any of this and was not prepared to make a decision... so I begged everyone around me to help me decide, and I had 3 people read my tarot cards (all 3 said I needed to figure it out myself!) I even became so desperate that I Googled a yes/no answer wheel and tried to get answers from that! One gives me structure, stability, and I get to stay home and not people but the other comes with excitement and power and I get to people all the time!!! I wrote out a pro con list but every pro was also a con and I was exhausted, so my ADHD brain won and I was so relieved it was over. My 1st day at my new job is today, and my autistic side is super anxious and my stomach is feeling gross and I'm not sure I made the right decision or that I'm even qualified for this job... but I'm having a hard time listening to that side because my ADHD side is ecstatic, and loud, and it sings, and tells everyone I see that I'm the best insurance agent in the world and they all have to come visit me, at the agency I run... where I now have a ton of responsibility, people to manage, and ridiculous agency goals I have to hit, for the exact same pay as the job I had before... 🤦♀️
Thank you for saying what I haven’t been able to articulate in words!
Yeah, we are constantly running between the edges. The edgerunners in the neurodiverdigent society.
Exactly, made enough wrong decisions or impulsive decisions now to never fully trust any decision making I make. 😞
Im 72 and you finally made sense to me about my life Thank you
I’m in my 60’s and I also have just made sense of why I do what I do thanks to this video
❤
Me, too.😢❤
❤
I hear 'ya!
That feeling of a new special interest keeping you up at night is so spot on...
For everyone who also struggled to pay attention:
1. 1:56 Constant conflict between apparently contradicting traits
2. 2:44 Your traits might appear to balance each other out
3. 4:06 A larger variety than usual of special interests / hyperfixations
4. 5:53 Different versions of your traits emerge in different situations
5. 6:57 You relate to people who have a dual diagnosis themselves
You are a beautiful person and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.
Thank you. You are a beautiful person as well.
Thanks, i zoned out thinking about myself after the first possible sign.
Then i heard something about "organizing stuff and cleaning clutter" so i searched on IKEA for some drawers.
Also im at work, and should do some things here! xD its not easy...
For once, a useful comment. Thanks so much!!😊
Thank you!!!
Thank you! Ring light reflection just threw me way off from paying attention 😅
I’ve always thought I was a “social introvert” (reserved around strangers, talkative around friends, but still need to be alone a lot), but this actually makes a lot more sense.
this hit home, i literally dont talk to people, its like im invisible or not even there but when im around my friends im the most extreme and i do the most random and crazy stuff, thats when i realise how much of my energy is put into masking
THIS IS LITERALLY ME. My friends don't get me, because I've always been really outgoing, but I am probably the STRONGEST introvert I've ever met. Like, there have been times I have literally hidden from people so I wouldn't have to engage in spontaneous, unplanned human interaction. I simultaneously crave time with my friends, enjoy talking a lot about topics I find interesting with people I enjoy being around, AND also find myself so incredibly drained by the speaking-and-listening balancing act of human communication that I craaaaaaaave and deeply need periods of alone time. The best way I've ever explained it to people is that I'm an "outgoing introvert". But this... well, this could shed so much more light on why I am the way I am.
This would explain a lot! I could never quite identify with being an introvert or extrovert and also thought of myself as a social introvert...
This is literally me. I’m very introverted and my family always describes me in that way and I never talk to people I’m not super familiar with. But when I was in elementary school I always got in trouble for talking. Thing is it was always my close friends that I talked to.
No one believes me when I say I got in trouble for talking a lot but my 5th grade teacher literally wrote it on one of my report cards lmao
And I most definitely need to be alone a lot.
@@demonic.scientist so so true , I tried to explain how different it is and my mom just thinks I’m shy at first then I get crazy .
My favourite quote: "Neurodivergent people tend to run in packs". That we do. I have a bunch of AUDHDer friends (although I'm just ADHD myself). I'm physically disabled in addition and I haven't yet found anybody that talks about how ADHD impacts someone who is physically disabled (with chronic pain/fatigue) and vice versa (how physical disability impacts ADHD traits). I find that more people are recognizing folks who have both ADHD and autism though, which is good. Thanks for the video. Peace.
“I'm physically disabled in addition and I haven't yet found anybody that talks about how ADHD impacts someone who is physically disabled (with chronic pain/fatigue) and vice versa (how physical disability impacts ADHD traits).” Maybe you could be this person?! 😛 just a random thought
So I'm ADHD and while it's not a disability, I have tinnitus and sensory issues with hearing and oh my God. It's awful whenever it kicks in. It genuinely hurts a solid chunk of the time
@@hylianhero1921 Just for your information, ADHD is actually a disability by definition! It may not impact your day to day life too much, which is what I think you meant to communicate, but it's worth understanding that ADHD is a disability in case something comes up where identifying it as the disability that it is could be really helpful (for instance, reasonable accommodations for work or study, if something happens to aggravate your ADHD and you need medication, etc).
Many disabilities don't actually hinder the person much, but it's good to know for informational purposes that disabilities that are under control/well managed and not crippling are still disabilities! My friend with Chron's Disease pointed this out to me, actually. She said even when her Chron's is in remission or managed to the point of minimal symptoms, it would be pretty unhelpful to say it wasn't a chronic condition and a disability, because if she minimizes it while it's less severe, it's harder to be taken seriously when she needs it. That really stuck with me. Hope this helps!
@Wyld_Wych - I have an idea: *_Oxytocin_*
I have a friend who was bedridden for 15 years with CFS, then he discovered Oxytocin (the "love hormone"). Now in his late seventies, he walks in the park every day, rain or shine, and does some fairy intense physical exercise at a high level, and much more. Will it work for you?
I have scoliosis and ADHD diagnosis, my scoliosis definitely affects my hyperactivity (or lack thereof). I'd probably be able to sleep better if I could get out more energy but I'd rather sit because it's physically more comfortable, running hurts.
The gasp I gusped when you talked about needing quiet but making noise... holy wow I am in tears. Literally I think you just changed my life.
"gusped" is not a word.
@lancasterritzyescargotdine2602
Really not the point, you murderer of joy. Making up fun ways to say things is my jam and you shallnt sturp me.
Well, doofus, enough people liked my comment that I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're mistaken, because obviously a few of us WERE actually entertained. But again, that wasn't my point, ya gunkie. I wasn't even talking to you, so my phrasing should not impact you in any way whatsoever. The fact that it bothered you enough to respond not just once but TWICE, and in such a mean way, says far more about your mental state than mine. Lighten up, Frances. I'm always here if you need a hug, for I am NOT a murderer of joy.
@@lancasterritzyescargotdine2602 you are an asshole
me too xx
"You may crave order and routine but be unable to maintain it"
A THOUSAND TIMES YES
Thank you for this video. As someone who suspects they have both autism and ADHD but are currently not diagnosed with either, I experience a lot of self-doubt while I wait for a diagnosis. Like, what are the chances that I have two separate conditions and neither has been noticed by adults in my life when I was younger? This video was really validating and it affirms in my mind that I was correct to start to pursue a diagnosis. Everything you said was me to a tee.
EDIT: After a few negative replies essentially doubting the validity of my belief that I have autism and ADHD, I would like to clarify my position. Of course, I do not claim that relating to these experiences means that one has autism and ADHD. I believe I satisfy the diagnostic criteria, and that they explain my situation better than other potential diagnoses (such as some combination of anxiety and OCD, for instance, or merely personality traits that aren't disorders). I think that what this video does well is that it captures the day-to-day experiences of someone with autism and ADHD, which obviously differ quite a bit from the strict diagnostic criteria we use to diagnose these conditions. At no point did I say that the experiences in the video alone make me think I have autism and ADHD; on the contrary, I tried to make it clear that they affirm my decision to pursue a formal diagnosis.
@Tagar We'll see what the doctors have to say... obviously, I'm not a professional, so there's a chance I'm wrong!
@@JakubWaniek don't listen or reply to bitter rude trolls.
You go your way, I feel for you!
Like a horoscope, this is general enough to describe a lot of peoples lives.
@@zhonguocha I mean, it depends on the severity right? Every symptom of autism and ADHD can be "normal" in isolation; there is a diversity of personality types among people. But when these symptoms consistently impair one's function, we can start to potentially talk about some sort of disorder. Besides, you can tell from my comment that I didn't just, like, watch this video once and decide I have autism and ADHD. These are things I've thought for a long time (in the case of autism, about 10 years!) and I am currently waiting for a diagnosis by a doctor. They will assess my symptoms properly
A lot of us flew under the radar as public knowledge and education about ASD and ADHD is a very modern concept, vs "oh that's just the slow kid" or "the village idiot" historically. (Yes these are awful examples, but those were terms used, no hate intended from me.)
A lot of our generation's - and previous - parents were clueless about the POSITIVE points of being Neuro-Diverse or even how to recognise it, let alone get us diagnosed and given any help we need.
1. 1:56 Constant conflict between apparently contradictory traits
2. 2:46 Your traits may appear to balance each other out
3. 4:08 A larger variety than usual of special interests/hyper fixations
4. 5:55 Different versions of your traits emerge in different situations
5. 7:02 You relate to people who have a dual diagnosis themselves
Hope this helps for quick reference.
Thank you.
I'm struggling to parse whether she said 13 to 18% which is in line with stats I've seen from a credible source, or 30 to 80% which could be true but I've not seen.
Anyway though, yes, thank you for this I'm too tired to watch this right now, and this very much applies to me. I've had people who don't understand my brain tell me I'm a split personality, when the problem is I'm literally more intelligent than them with more depth, critical thinking skills of awareness of Cognitive Biases and Logical Fallacies and more, but also a brilliantly chaotic shambles who can't keep my room clean, or do many basic adult things yet despite my grand old age, and often can't remember what I had for dinner yesterday, never mind what I was doing the day before.
I like my own space, the comfort of doing the same sort of thing day in day out, but every now and again I get a craving for adventure, sometimes wildly impulsive ones that have taken me to other countries on short notice to meet someone I barely knew.
My head doesn't so much meltdown, as shutdown. Barely think, can barely register anything people say at times, though usually hyperactive, giddy, thoughts and words goinga million miles an hour.
Else often quite nervous about going out around those normies, other times life and soul of the party.
Very intelligent, relatively mentally healthy after a very messy life. but also can't remember details. No skill for maths and material sciences and remembering equations and blah blah blah. Humanities is more my area.
My split personality? Well at one end I go trolling sillies all over the political spectrum with Facts and Logic. The other end I spend time in psych / mental health comment sections trying to be helpful.
I've been so hyper for so long doing things they find unusual, but not actually a problem, I got labelled manic. Else lockdown mode. Labelled depressed.
Accused of being high and manic when hyper and happy, or stoned when I'm just tired, chilling, or depressed.
At most times have a fear of crowds and cities, but sometimes love to melt into the crowd, be part of it, see those normies up close, just so I can enjoy being at home more 😂
My special interests? Anything that grabs my fancy, though usually, in descending order: Philosophy / Psychology / Politics / History / Physics / Economics and more, and running through them all is just having a laugh.
I have been through states of psychological and multiple types political extremism and understand extremists better than many ever will. Found my way back to reality after a messy start to life.
It is an apt irony that the more you are accused of being crazy for no good reason, by people who won't even try to listen and tell you you're the problem, that it sends your mind to dark places and *makes* you go crazy.
Facing ACCIDENTAL gaslighting from the NHS and my own family and other official types, in eerily similar langauge as when facing wilfully deliberate gaslighting from some previously poorly chosen friends.
"you're unwell take your medication" from both family, friends and enemies in disguise. I am generally a forgiving pacifist type, but once that line has been crossed, people get...
*T O L D* and given a very short time to sort it out, then immediately forgotten. I can and have burned bridges with family, 'friends', bosses, jobs and after a life of much fear, I don't fear much anymore. Who I was, is already dead.
I've got a critical thinking playlist full of stuff from great channels if anyone is interested. ruclips.net/p/PL1saVby-OHik5NvCgSqrT9cB4_mbbKA8K
Else on ADHD, I really recommend the How To ADHD channel. ruclips.net/video/cx13a2-unjE/видео.html
I have both
Thank you!!
Massively helpful, thank you
I got diagnosed with ADHD since my teenage, used ADHD medications for years. I spent my whole life fighting ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
When you said the part about needing order, but also finding it difficult to maintain....I felt that to my core. Clutter absolutely stresses me out, but I also have extreme difficulty focusing on a task long enough to finish it either. I bounce from one cleaning/declutterting task to another, not really completing any of them. It's utterly exhausting.
I’ve often felt guilty about not being able to stick to a new hobby or interest, but recently I’ve realized that hobbies are there to serve me, not the other way around. I don’t have to be really good at them, I don’t have to “produce” something worth money, I just have to enjoy doing it. It’s ok to move on when I don’t enjoy it anymore.
Very well said. I am in my 50s and I wish I would have known this when I was as young as you. Bravo for figuring this out so early in your life. It took me years to figure it out. We should never feel tied to our hobbies. They are there for fun, distraction and creativity. Then on to something else when we feel the need, that's all.
That's me with Crochet. I did teach myself but concentration and counting was frustrating therefore not pleasurable to do. A bit boring and not fast enough results. I can't stick to instructions and ad-lib 😂then things go pear-shaped from then on but to begin with I was hyper focused with it. Now I have lots of yarn in a big bag 😂Just sitting there just because I might need it again or finish a project I started.
Thank God you figured it out. We, women, often put so much pressure on ourselves to make money on our hobbies. We feel guilty just enjoying ourselves. I am now 59 and finally have hobbies without pressure to create for the public, friends or family.
Wow, thank you for sharing this
Are you me?
I've always jokingly described myself as "The world most extroverted introvert" and now I understand why I may feel that way! Great video, thank you!
I describe myself as an introverted extrovert, or a “socially awkward extrovert with social anxiety”
@@user-hn5nu2wi4owhat’s the name of the herbs?
That's us
Yes
I wrote a whole song called introverted extrovert 😂😂😂 didn’t know until this video
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
I've never been diagnosed with anything officially except for depression and anxiety, but I have suffered most of my life with feeling lost, confused, and out of place...and I just started to watch videos about autism recently and this is only the 4th video I've watched and I'm now positive I am neurodivergent.
This video is very relateable. I have so many aspirations and passions but I am so burned out and exhausted from just daily life I can rarely keep up the pursuit of anything bigger.
I have many peculiarities about myself that at times feel like a curse.
I wish I had friends like you! I currently am in a place in my life where I'd rather be alone than have ill relationships.
I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety ten years ago, only 2 years ago I discovered I had ADHD too, and 6 months ago I started suspecting ASD too. Very often being neurodivergent and struggling with so many things leads to anxiety and depression too.
I'm 43 and I have been staying away from dating for the last few years, also from socialising with friends. It's a lot harder than it used to be, maybe the age is a big factor, especially reaching maturity and being wiser about people pleasing. You do you and whatever makes you comfortable 😊
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 4 bc of its severity, then when I was ten I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Knowing that I had adhd helped so much to understand what was happening to me during my episodes (overstimulated, hyper-fixating on a fear I had, etc). Anxiety and depression are “sister symptoms” of adhd and anxiety, which is why a lot of neurodivergent people are also mentally ill
Thank you Dr Oyalo for healing my son from autism. And I want to share about him to every one. His herbs has made my son verbal and Improve in social skills
I HIGHLY suggest seeking a diagnosis. Even if you have to self diagnose (there are some pretty good surveys out there) it really helps to know how your brain functions so you can support it better.
I was undiagnosed up until just a couple of years ago, my parents insisted that I just wasn't trying hard enough at the whole... being an adult thing and kept getting frustrated with me when I couldn't do the thing, my Dad, especially. This changed when my Dad went to a course for parents of autistic children after one of my stepsisters got diagnosed with it and he recognized me in the behavioral parents described, he suddenly became my main supporter and driving force in my getting diagnosed after years of being told I was essentially being too sensitive and after just three talks with an actual professional over skype, I was diagnosed with ADD and Autism. My Dad now checks up with me every now and then to ask if I need help with the things he previously expected me to be able to just do, I live in my own apartment now thanks to him.
Most parents always want their kids to succeed, his view of success adjusted. Sometimes professionals are all it takes for our parents to listen :)
This resonates with me, but I'm still connecting the dots for myself. If it's not too personal, what were the things? I have a feeling this may be quite revelatory for me.
I'm so glad your dad now understands and wants to be supportive. That's a wonderful outcome! And good for you, getting your own place! Sounds like you're doing well. I love a good success story. 🙂
@@lisakukla459 The things I had trouble with were things like doing chores and paying bills, I NEEDED someone to sit me down and show me step-by-step what to do or where to start if there was... say... a mountain of dishes (we are a big family), or else nothing would get done. I can do them perfectly well once I know what to do but I couldn't, still can't, figure out how to do such things by myself.
Not many parents are open to learning or changing long-held beliefs. It sounds like you have a great dad. It’s super cool that you’re able to explore your independence while having your father’s educated support.
Did you (OP) ever feel like offers of help coming from people who you *don't* think understand you are actually just "offers" to rob you of autonomy while doing a task? Like, is your suspicion that they'll just yell at you for not making good use of *their* time while you have it, because you have to do things on *your* pace, and doing it any other way is just way too stressful for you? Maybe you reject help from these people because of how stressful the process will be for you, beyond what it would be to do it alone -- if only you could just do it -- and you also feel that they'll just resent you afterward? Asking for, uh, a friend who totally isn't me. (It's me. I'm the friend.)
When I was a young kid, I was initially diagnosed with adhd (inattentive type). I took adhd meds for a few years and existed as a functioning but socially awkward child that wouldn't make eye contact and preferred curling up in small cozy spaces with whatever newest hobby or book caught my eye. When the therapists changed my diagnosis to autism (this was pre-dual diagnosis as an option) at 10-12, they took me off the adhd meds. They put me in occupational therapy where I spent months memorizing different figurative language phrases, facial expressions, and how to ignore the awful prickly sensation of running barefoot on grass. It did help me learn how to act around other kids my age, but at the same time I started struggling with things I thought were easy before. I used to be good at sitting still for long periods of time and staying on task and remembering where I put stuff, but all of the sudden I felt constantly antsy and scattered. I couldn't stay on a task for more than a few minutes and kept losing track of time. My grades suffered and I started having anxiety.
Wow..!!! You and I are extremely similar! Dr took me off my ADHD meds when I was diagnosed w Autism at 48. My life has been a constant stressful mess ever since. Dr said I didn't need the meds since Autism was the problem. It had taken me 6yrs to finally have ADHD meds ,only to have a new Dr take away due to his lack of Autism knowledge. Both my children are Autistic and they pediatrician asked when I had been diagnosed. She was surprised I never had been..she could see it in me. My life opened up after I was diagnosed and will forever be thankful to my kiddos Dr for that. I am kinder and more forgiving to myself and understand why I am me. I just wish my stressed out, aggressive ADHD self could be back at peace. Ty for reading 💜
I got my ADHD diagnosis at 19, got on medication about a year later, it worked great. But THEN once my ADHD hyperactivity was more subdued, suddenly my sensory issues were going haywire, like I couldn’t stand bright lights, my sound sensitivity was worse and I became an even pickier eater. Turns out my ADHD was probably masking my autistic traits this whole time. It makes sense, because I never fully related to the typical ADHD experience. I crave stability and routine, but I never shut up and tend to stare at people and talk very enthusiastically.
My autistic sibling clocked me as being both long before I ever did lol
I had a friend who was medicated for his adult ADHD and suddenly started showing autistic traits. Do you think the medication that was helping you might have augmented those traits? With him, it was as if once he could focus, he focused so well that he couldn't un-focus even if he wanted to...like those of us on the spectrum have trouble modulating. Do you think that could be a thing? The medication that helps you also throws you into a state where your autistic traits become much more pronounced?
@@lwallsyeah! Sorry I’m really tired so my reply won’t be as long as they usually are. Their ADHD may have masked their autism to some extent or even completely, and the focusing thing you mentioned is often hyperfocusing in ADHD and special interests in autism (there is a difference but really sorry I don’t have the energy to type about it 😅)
My 12 year old daughter Asd, Adhd
When medicated we see her Asd...when her meds ware off .the Adhd over rides the Asd...
woah woah woah…. wow okay that’s…. wow…… that is also my experience…. thank u for sharing, friend
Meee! Right as I got diagnosed with ADHD I got medicine, and I started feeling different. At first, I tried to blame it on the Medicine, but that wasn't it. Then this video about autism in girls appeared. I didn't know much about autisim, and decided to watch the video. I thought hey I have some of those trates. Then, later on this video appeared. It was soo relatable. But Im still too nervous to tell anyone because I've never felt this way till now, and they might think In lying for attention. But thank you for making me feel like I'm not the only one! 😊
The fact that I was SO distracted by the green light in your glasses moving around so I had to stare at your necklace really just speaks to my ADHD. I have wondered about the autism side and especially after all the things that you said really spoke to me. The inner conflict being the biggest one that I notice.
I am agoraphobic, but I get super bored all the time. I want to talk to people, but then it becomes too much. I get overstimulated very easily, but since I'm home often I am not stimulated enough. It's so exhausting to deal with everyday.
Soft Box lighting would probably soften that bright moving glare instead of the popular circle light.
This sounds like me, I love socializing, with a low social battery
Yep, those green circles just take over the whole screen :( Had to scroll down and just listen coz I couldn't watch after a while.
@@sueburn536 ditto
i never thought id run into someone i know in the youtube wilds just almost blew my mind as much as the video.... im shook
I wasn't diagnosed with Autism until about the age of 68. Im 75 now. I stopped there because it was all I wanted at that time. Self justification. The waiting list was nearly 3 years, and I felt for the people behind me who were waiting too. The psychiatrist was disappointed because she felt that there was more to discover. However, the diagnosis was for me, not other people. I've always been considered "odd" "weird" "unfathomable" "eccentric". I didn't feel I was, but I knew I didn't "fit" other people's expectations of me. I have above average intelligence, high anxiety levels, and habit of starting to talk to someone I'm with, in the middle of the sentence, that I didn't realise I had started saying in my head, and not out loud. I can diagnose other people instantly with Autism because I recognise traits in them that I've discovered in myself. I like your podcast because I, kind of, have diagnosed myself with ADHD, and wish I had stayed longer with the person that diagnosed me with (Aspergers) 🤔 I also have CFS, Ceoliac, Lactose Intolerance, Fibromyalgia, OsteoArthritis, Long Covid, and have resorted to attempt suicide several times when i cant take the pressures of being me due to internal conflict.
I can definitely relate to these traits. The biggest struggle is not being able to maintain friendships. Like you stated - too much for some people and others are too much for me. Or too friendly for some people, others are too friendly for me.
I've found myself recently being kind of upset with my old school teachers and with my parents for not picking up on my ADHD. I was the kid that was always late to class, never had my homework done, never brought the right supplies for the class, lost all my notes and handouts, etc. I was struggling so much in school I have been wondering how nobody thought to question it. But what you said about traits of autism and ADHD masking each other has me wondering a bit. Because even though I really struggled with those things, I always had good grades because I picked things up quickly, and I answered questions in class and was polite and well behaved because my social skills weren't at a level to be flexible with my behaviour. And when I picture this, I feel maybe a little more sympathy for those people in my life who didn't notice how badly I needed help.
This was exactly my experience too. Though it’s great to see education and childcare professionals trained in recognising neurodiverse traits and picking it up in preschool and referring parents onto specialists early. Gives me hope that the next gens of children will be better prepared and hopefully won’t have to struggle as much as we did
I feel VERY depressed about that exact thing. I keep crying bc my dreams were crushed but they focused on my brothers adhd and ignored mine.
@@il_jarrado7203 sadly my parents made me go to a sexist religious school so i am still suffering :(
I also had a smilar experience and it’s very hard to deal with
This was me too! I was also a daydreamer and of course the teachers always picked up on that, however to this day my parents believe that I was actually thinking and taking it all in, because I always got good grades. I'd hate to tell them after all these years that I was in fact daydreaming!
The constant inner conflict between the need for routine and the need for novelty is definitely something I've always struggled quite badly with, and I can attest that hearing from more people online who feel the same way has been a great comfort 🙂
i relate to this a lot too! when i was growing up, i would get really upset if i had an appointment my parents would forget to tell me about until the day of or night before, while i would never really stick to a schedule or routine because of my adhd, i would get unreasonably upset if something unexpected came up!
That's normal . There's nothing wrong with you. Stop looking to belong to a victim group.
I did this years ago and now I see it for the big pharma scam it is .
Don't take the speed.
Same! I hate unexpected change but I'm also almost constantly wanting to "shake things up" and have new adventures or see new things. Then I want to lock it all down and go to familiar places or do the same thing or see the same stuff in the same place at home when I'm stressed... 😅
@jamielawrence4749 Wow . Sounds like you need speed. Thanks big pharma.
The whole “shy at first” thing is sooooooo true. I always felt that way, and still do.
I am barely starting to pay attention to the fact that I might be both(or even just one) I'm a lot older than you, 65, and never been diagnosed. Never had the time or the opportunity. But a long life full of feeling guilty for always missing the mark is a heavy burden to carry. Understanding that being an "ambivert" because I come across as extroverted but then I burn out, has started the process of finally looking at myself.
And now, learning how neurodivergent people live their lives and feel, is making me reflect on the MANY "failures" in every aspect of my life!!!
A formal diagnosis could be, actually, a lot of relief!
Thank you for doing this!
“the person who doesn’t want to talk at all in a crowd, but also the one who can’t stop talking sometimes”
I thought I was the only one who goes through this! I used to bawl at home growing up because of this stress!
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 8 and was told by 10 different doctors that I was too talkative to have what is now fully called autism spectrum disorder. I have always gravitated to people who have either, especially those on the autism spectrum. At 34 I’m finally getting assessed a week from now!
Wishing you the best!
congrats!!
I was at a company party. Talking alot as usual, and someone had mentioned that I talk alot. They meant it as a compliment, that I was personable. But I confessed that I hate it, and I wish I could be quiet and only speak if I have something relevant, and listen better. For me talking is a compulsion. It's refreshing to see that other "chatters" out there share my desire to just be silent.
@@waynepalumbo8917 : a mono autist once told me that he enjoyed my company since we share so much similar interests, but he could only tolerate my company for a short time, because I would max out his social energy quite quickly. Me being neurodiverse in both ASD and ADHD I could relate to that, since I can be a 1 person party of 10 sometimes (when I meet kin folk).
@@waynepalumbo8917 I am with you 50 years as chatty man, who felt at odds with the entire human race. I always felt like an alien living amongst people who looked vaguely similar. My hyperfocus is immense, and I am very personable, and able to build relationships - but only if I find they are of value to my hyperfocus bit. I also love spending time alone, and talking to no one -which for years felt like an oxymoron to me. Some find me really strange, and one of my children has autism, and the other ADHD.
Turns out i have ADHD, with a nice cunning twist of Autism. I always wish I could be quiet, and just sometimes coast through life - but I cant. It turned out when I opened up about this at work, that a separate senior manger suggested a wish to be able to say what needed to be said, at the right time (they indicated I was able to do this). I didnt even realise I did it, but I learnt because I did, others hid behind me and let me sometimes challenge our leaders in ways they wouldnt dare. Who would of thought I could be of benefit to improving our business. Yet I have got into trouble for saying what needs to be said.
I hope your situation is working out for you. I have learnt to love who I am, and how I am.
"Needing people to be quiet around me so I can be noisy" hit one of my nails on the head and made me chuckle! I'm 48 and only just figured out I'm ASD/ADHD/CPTSD. Videos like this really help. Thanks ❤
Same @ 40 years old.
@@jamesbryson9542 42, not diagnosed but pretty sure I have both.
Same.
36 and same! I have been diagnosed autism, but more and more I’ve been spotting ADHD symptoms too… symptoms that made me feel like a complete fraud because of the apparent contradictory nature! I immediately sent it to the parent who knows me best and interestingly enough I think it may apply to him too!
Ptsd, I vibe with those people
This is me. I was diagnosed with adhd at 49 last fall and being on meds has revealed autistic traits. Both are in my immediate family. It’s like a tug of war in my brain. No wonder I’m tired so much. Thanks for the video ❤
I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago, and I’ve been struggling with how I feel since. But this video explains EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling. Especially the conflict of traits which I struggle with everyday. I can’t believe how much your video explains how I feel. Thank you so much.
so many people have it, it's nice to know
I definitely resonate with "neurodivergent people run in packs". Our group of friends from school have all been diagnosed within the last decade as having ADHD, autism and both. And while I feel like some of that is due to a better understanding of these conditions and more women being diagnosed in general, a lot of it is just because we got on at school because we implicitly understood the ADHD and autistic behaviour in each other. :)
Yesss! That's exactly my group of friends and me!! X)
I just end up making friends with neurodivergent people without trying to, later I then find out they are neurodivergent and it's literally happened so many times it's not funny
Yes😊
Standusers attract other standuser
What an interesting point. My HS friends all had some kind of trauma, abuse, or mental health issue.
When I was 9 or 10 I was “diagnosed” with Sensory processing disorder (it’s not an actual separate diagnosis in the dsm). Fast forward to probably 5 years ago when my best friend was diagnosed with ADHD and told me I should look into it too. I did ALL the research and really resonated with a lot of it. I thought I finally found the answer to my weirdness that no one understood, but there was parts of it that I didn’t entirely agree with. A couple years later I learned about autism and for the first time I was like WOW, THIS IS EXACTLY ME! I started thinking well maybe I’m just autistic instead of having adhd, but the more I research, the more I’m leaning towards both. Sometimes it seems my adhd comes out more, and sometimes the autism comes out. It has always felt like a constant tug of war game in my head, and it’s exhausting especially around people.
This was my experience as well except flipped! I had a lot of things ticked from the asd list, but it didn't all fit, then I looked into adhd and it ALL clicked. Now I'm like ???? wait a minute, maybe I'm both 🙃 I got diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder last year as well (though my psych did note there was no such thing yet).
Me, too, with an ADHD diagnosis. 💜👋
Omg are you me? But mine was unspecified processing disorder 🤣🤣🤣 I have my adhd diagnosis stimulant medication has really helped.
I’m getting evaluated for autism next month lol.
The same. I have had exsactky the same feeling. And my child as well. No wonder!!! My father, I, my child and most probably my future grandchildren...
Fortunately, there is answer and explanation for our different, difficult, contradictory and confusing existence. Alleluia!
@@aigocharisma My experience is about the same as yours
My son has both. It can be very much overwhelming for us & especially him. He gets hyper fixated on certain things for while & won’t talk about anything else.
He gets obsessed.
He constantly has to be doing something. If he’s not he gets irritated. He also has echolalia. Repeats words over n over.
Either way. He’s a special kid. We love him to death & love entertaining his hyper fixations for as long as he likes it. They change every 6 months.
Trying to show him new things can take a lot of time.
This made me literally tear up. Thank you for making this. I've known I had ADHD for years, but just recently realized I am likely on the spectrum as well.
Not knowing how ADHD and Autism presented in adults caused me to lose so much of myself, my relationships, and more.
I can't wait to see what the future holds, now that I have a better understanding of how my mind works and don't feel so alone.
The special interest bit really clinched it for me. I've been told by a professional that I couldn't be officially diagnosed as autistic because I was missing 'that big part of it' because I had varying lengths of high intensity obsessions with things, ranging from years to a week or two to intense research for an evening, with 2-5 longer lived topics I never bore of, but never that overpowering, all encompassing niche one that never goes away. This blew my mind. I feel very validated.
I had a psychiatrist tell me to my fave I was not autistic, even though I had already been dx’d with both adhd & asd.
She demanded I be retested.
So, i retested and she had to eat her comments. She left the practice soon after.
Can totally relate to that!
that is a possible sympthom of adhd bro. (not all adhd have that though but some do)
ye i have a simlar thing instead of one lifetime intrests i have like 5000 ive noticed there all around a
Yep...exactly the same for me...if i get into something, i have to learn it all and it consumes me for days till i crash...then i may get disregulated for a few more days to a week or so, then a new topic, or and old interests returns, some come with the seasons, others come with moods, music and drawing are 2 recurring themes, but i have picked up dozens of interest, from astronomy, to boating, precision rifles, arts, botany, anatomy, biology, gorod(best band on earth this month)...i crave both lonelyness and crowds but cant control which it will be in which situation......this is the most relatable video ever.
..i have no diagnosis...this is just how i can describe myself.....maybe i should get that referal after all lol
1:57 conflict between contradictory traits
2:47 balancing traits
4:07 special interests
5:56 different version of self
6:59 relating to people with dual diagnosia
You're doing God's work
Absolutely perfect description of how this works for me. I am going to share this video with a few people I KNOW this is going to resonate with. Thank you for putting this up!
I was diagnosed just yesterday with both, and I saved this video until I knew for sure what I was dealing with. This is SO relatable and I love it. Things are finally starting to make sense!
Point 5 cannot be overstated enough. The point I realised I was autistic rather than "just me, I guess I'm weird" was the realisation that the ONLY people I never had to explain how my brain worked to were all the specific friends who were finally getting their autistic diagnoses after years of struggle. When it was 1 or 2 people it was a coincidence, when it started to edge up past 10 and marched through 15 it kinda became undeniable even if many of my traits don't fit the broken old traditional diagnosis list.
Yes! The funniest part for me was the moment I realized, "Oh no, every boyfriend I've ever had (and my husband) have ADHD."
I have the same with ADD/ADHD.... But my possible ADHD is just weird idk .... At rhis point I'm only friends with 1 other person who isn't diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or autism and is neurodivergent. I just don't click with "normal" people. Help!
OMG Everything described so well it was uncanny! 😯 I have an ADHD diagnosis, but I suspected I am also autistic for a long time. The craving organization, but at the same time being really messy, the great variety of interests (some ongoing, some for short periods but obsessively), how social interactions drain me but at the same time I like talking to new people...
Or not autism but ocd
This made me think of how few times I could relate properly to people. I've gotten a lot more respect for them now that I know why xD
All of this. 👏
Diagnosed ADHD but have autistic tendencies.
Bro same holy crap I may actually be autistic
I think this was seriously the most relatable thing Ive ever heard
Absolutely cannot focus when I look at the reflections in your glasses. Had to switch tabs and just listen to you.
Thanks for this! I can relate (more than I'd like to admit). Listened to this 4 times in a row while searching for a new phone.
I also have a psychology degree and I'm diagnosed with ADHD since a kid. However I was dismissed so strictly by three professionals who seemed sure that I absolutely didn't have autism within like 5 minutes. Facial expressions they said, eye contact they said, non monotone voice they said. See now the thing is, ever since I was a child my mind was set on becoming a singer. Music has always been my thing and I'm sure no autistic person will be suprised to hear this but I can't give it up to do more appropriate things lol. Since I wanted to be a singer who danced (and I also wanted to star in musicals) I practiced my facial expressions A LOT. Hours in front of the mirror. Getting the hang of it, finding the right eye movements, brow movements, feeling the song requires. I was already practicing my vocals and rapping skills and I think I became quite natural at those too.I also spent a horribly huge chunk of me teens searching "how to act normal" "how to socialize" "how to keep a conversation going" Reading all about how eye contact is super important and how I needed to act like I was confident for it to become real. (it didnt) So one day I decided that I'd just be looking at people in the eye all the time. That made them uncomfortable. Nowadays I find myself trying to balance a ratio of looking away and looking at them, I mostly miss what they're saying doing that. My god. Everything I described sounds painfully autistic doesn't it? Mind you I have a degree on this even though I prefer lived experiences of people more to a DSM diagnosis. But I couldn't even manage to begin the conversation about me possibly being autistic with these professionals. All three of them made me think that I do not want to walk through their footsteps. Even if I'm actually not autistic and being paranoid like they seemed to think, I'm still suffering from all those things I described. How could someone call themselves a mental health professional and invalidate someone's feelings and experiences like this? And the worst part is, if I didn't have the education I do have I wouldn't know what was so wrong with these people. I dont even know why I wrote all this but if you are also struggling to get a diagnosis and feel like an imposter, just leave that behind. You dont necessarily need the labeling to find help. If you suffer from something that autistic people suffer from look up what they do to overcome their challanges. We got this y'all.
that's better than being in the system. We live in such a eugenics age that it's good to not be diagnosed. I've read details of experiments and it seems obvious that psychologists don't really understand. They find autistic people and give them fashionable advice instead of what will help people.
At 40 I didn't feel the need to get an official diagnosis. These things are for us unless we need them for helps. I have no job currently that I would need accommodations for and getting them for Autism is hard, even harder for ADHD. Can in school, which the ADHD diagnosis was helpful at times there. I still had some profs who made you feel like you were cheating the system. Honestly if someone needs more time or a quiet room or a verbal test or whatever, we shouldn't have to have official diagnosis for that. We should just live in a culture that accommodates. As long as you get the work done or learn the thing that needs learning, who cares how or how long.
Anyway...figure this out for you. Read and listen to a plethora of people who are autistic or dual diagnosis and if you see yourself there then that is all that matters. If you need it official for an official reason, seek out someone who know how to diagnosis adult non-males. There is a very well known bias that is being addressed but still prevalent, especially in certain countries (cough cough...USA). Feel free to throw literature and facts at them. Ask them sarcastic questions like "Have you ever heard of masking?" or say 'How 20th century of you to believe that." if they are truly being small minded and find someone that understands. More and more psych peeps are online now.
I watched my mother's awkward social skills and learned from my father who was an excellent salesman. It's not hard to hack social interactions with knowledge and practice. For practice I picked up social dancing after graduating university. Talking with senior citizens is not intimidating and talking with peers in very scripted ways is easy.
I'm not sure
I can relate to that! Somehow I always was interested in so many things that I learned so many 'normal' skills even up to a higher level than non-ASD/non-adhd people. Studying body language and (micro)expressions intensively for several months made me better at reading people than the average person. Same with studying non violent communication (nvc), suddenly people experience me as very empathic. But it's also confusing myself and others with it, and tiring if I try to read other people constantly if I let myself be dragged too much into social situations by people who think I enjoy that because I'm so people minded and communicative ;)
The good thing is that a lot can be learned and masked, both very helpful and tricky.
All of the research on proper socialization and eye contact, and somehow I still feel like a weirdo for having done that. At least I'm not the only one that did and still couldn't quite get the hang of it, especially when trying to talk to a professional, the mask comes on too quickly and articulating a thought turns into are my feet and bellybutton facing the right direction, is my body language closed off, ?eye contact?, fidgeting or no fidgeting and how much is too much? What forms of stimming are socially appropriate in which settings? It's all too much.
Wow the explanation of your autism being stronger when you go out bc social/stimulation needs are harder to control/unknown vs ADHD being more dominant at home bc youve controlled your sensory environment and routine is predictable socially so autism side is "satisfied" makes SO much sense. I am in the process of seeking an autism diagnosis after just receiving my ADHD one finally at 40+ so this was the best summation for me, thankyou!
Also the long term intersts vs short term hyperfocus ones and how both are possible, totally relate there as well! And the chatty ADHD outweighing the autism socially at times so has masked it during medical/psychology appts as doctors dont see the downtime needed after the social interaction!
I... I get it now
This clicks alot with me, I was diagnosed adhd as a child in the 80's, as I grew it was something I struggled with and eventually learned to manage (medication either didnt help or zombied me). It just wasn't the only thing, it wasn't even the main thing, and I didn't have words for to explain the main thing till stumbling across the phrase executive dysfunction in my 30's. I'm in my 40's now and have slowly been realizing over the years I'm probably both and just present more adhd. Not doing much besides educating myself right now, but the sheer relief of just better understanding how my brain operates, and finding people and resources that can help with that has been life changing. Thank you.
I just found your video, and you're reading my mail! I've been diagnosed with ADHD, but my daughter and grandkids all have autism. I'm seeing so many of these traits that you shared, and I can't believe how relatable every one of them is! I'm currently working on my psychology degree, and yes, it's been a long-time interest of mine, but I also have a background and love for technology! I've wondered why I feel so conflicted internally for my entire life, and now I think I know why. Thank you for sharing this information!
Everything resonated. From the contradictory traits (being loud while expecting others to be quiet), the different traits from ADHD and autism coming out in different environments, being perceived as not as autistic as people expect, having a group of friends who are too much for you sometimes. This felt so validating thank you for sharing
I don't get it? Can you please provide more examples?
lol yeh the loud/quiet my family used to always pull me up on as a kid & even without that, I'd be screaming at them all to shut up & just exploding cause of the noise/stimulation, while actually overstimulating them with my screaming about the noise
@Ignace Alli reported for spam. Herbs don't cure ASD
Jeez, this is...more relatable than I expected. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since middle school, but I've always struggled socially due to being easily tired out and overwhelmed by people. At first my family just thought it was anxiety, but once I grew more confident and aware of the fact that people actually like me....nothing about my interactions with people changed at all. I was still overwhelmed all the time and seemingly standoffish.
I'd be more reluctant to consider the possibility of having ASD if it wasn't so common in my family. On both my mom and my dad's side of the family. So uh...thanks for giving me something to think about, this could be really helpful. Thanks.
Oh- this is kind of exactly what I’m going through. Thought it was anxiety too, but I mean one of my uncles has Autism so I guess it’s a possibility. I don’t really want to unpack that though lol
I was taken aback when my therapist hit the nail on the head and told me I must be on the spectrum. I truly understand you when you were having trouble unpacking that luggage. My experience with autism was not good having spent time as an aide in the life skills class...the name given to the class for those that could not function in the general population in school. But I also had to look at the fact that my grandson was diagnosed on the spectrum, but as high functioning, which is very different from the little boy I took care of when I was an aide. Time and research as well as finding a community to help us through it... and therapy to better understand the traits and work with them. I wish you luck in unpacking that 🎒 bag.
The over-analysis. We're Malkavians that think we're Noseferatu
My psychiatrist i had for my ADHD suspected my Autism because i didnt do eye contact and, For some reason, the fact that i used alot of forgin words in my speech, which i still dont get, i know i do it but in my experience alot from my generation does so as well. And of cause im introverted and i focus way better on things that interest me.
I wish you a clarifying journey, dear traveler.
Late diagnosed ADHD (at 26) and (Fucking finally! ) autism (at 38). So relatable. Working on grief and anger from a lifetime of misunderstanding, but we're getting there.
Thank you for existing as yourself, it helps.
All these comments are putting a smile on my face right now. I've been searching the internet for so long (I know I have both Autism and ADHD for a while now), but nobody to actually 'relate' to. And even though I'll never get to meet anyone in person to have a chat with it is just so nice to see so many people to share it with. We often feel a bit lost and lonely but this just made my day! And yes, I relate to all 5 of your points and even your own personal stories. This is the first video where I didn't at some point think "no... no I don't have that". So thank you for that. The first person I can 100% relate to.
Being diagnosed with both at age 40 was a relief because I couldn't work out why I just couldn't be how everyone expected me to be. I want friends, but I don't like going out to meet people so it's really hard. I find that I am lonely a lot of the time.
I feel that. I have no problem having a conversation with complete strangers (unless its about something tedious, like the weather), but it's rare that I actually make plans with people and form deep or lasting friendships
Yeah very much relate to both these comments. I love meeting new people, I really really love it... but I've also got varying social anxiety and can often go hermit for weeks at a time...
Yup. Lockdown was a relief, actually
Yes! In election years I can spend hours talking to just anyone (except the racists). I absolutely love meeting tourists and give them a little tour. Going to the hair stylist is pure entertainment. But... I have zero friends that last. And I'm not so sure I want one either.
Yes! I want friends, but can't socialize, and I have social anxiety, that isn't crippling in the moment, then I think about what happened and I'm like... maybe I need a shirt that says "I'm sorry, I'm trying my best."
This video made so much sense to me. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since first grade, but I've never felt like I was as at ease with socializing among other things as other people with just ADHD. Recently I've been genuinely questioning if I was autistic because I've had sensory issues, shutdowns, meltdowns, troubles keeping or making friends, gone non-verbal and much more. My parents have always told me "I definitely don't have it" for the longest time, so I believed them. But now I know they're not the best parents, and I've questioned myself through my standards more. However, I've never really related to only autistic people either. It makes so much sense now that I might have both. Thank you, seriously.
Edit: 69 likes lmao
early diagnosis gang lol. and idk i feel bad as a woman cause I got diagnosed with adhd early on(they told my mom I was gonna need adderall later on, i was in montessori school lol. then 1st grade diagnosis. like I'm lucky to be diagnosed early bc it was so uncommon, but also i was very combination type presenting. I was just enough of a problem for my school to do something abt it lol. but it still never rllly fit. i still go non-verbal when I'm getting yelled at, i didn't display huge sensory issues bc the south didn't tolerate children who were unnecessarily noisy, so i was perceived as well behaved. the older i get the more i notice i have a lot. Vacuum cleaner? absolutely not. soft clothes are a must. i literally cannot produce one thought if there is a slightly distracting sound, but i have to hum and bepop and put a blanket on my legs.
"HAVE it" like its a disease or something??
@@elizabethbennet4791 People say they HAVE blue eyes or HAVE brown hair too, chill out. Stop trying to police people’s words about themselves 🙃
Ya a totally agree I was diagnosed young as well. And my diagnosis never felt quite right. Especially because I never felt at ease with socializing I couldn't handle people who had the same kind of energy as me. But people always said I was good at socializing which always made me think that I wasn't autistic but they didn't know how hard I worked to socialize. That I have read dozens of books on how to socially engineer conversations and situations so people like you. Because I didn't understand people because to me they seemed to make completely irrational decisions. My dad is a psychologist and growing up he always told me I didn't have those traits because I could socialize successfully.
@@alexandrahill8801 Yeah, I was the hyperactive type when I was younger, so that was really diagnosable. Now I think I'm more combination like you. Textures are absolutely the worst, and I've been stimming as long as I can remember. Sounds were and still are horrible; I can't focus with any noise. No one can talk, breathe loudly, I can't have music or background noise and a lot of noise can cause me to dissociate or rock back and forth.
all of the signs literally DESCRIBE MY LIFE. thank you so much for all of this information that is easy to understand and informative. this video will help many.
This just fills me with so much joy!. I've been on a rollercoaster of "what is going on in my head" the last 6 weeks. I moved from ADHD to Autism and have been hyperfocused on Autism for about 4 weeks. I thought I had both during the initial switch in research, but was losing sight of the ADHD - This just brought it all together! Thank you for sharing all your wisdom with the community!
hi everyone!
as someone who has recently been diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD, i’d like to share some parts of my seven-year journey to getting diagnosed in hopes that some of you might relate and maybe consider it helpful :)
so, i've been through several therapists and psychiatrists since the age of 13 because of social/generalized anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and body image issues.
i was 15 when a therapist first suspected i might be autistic, but my parents shrugged it off at the time and didn't pursue any testing because i didn't match their preconceived notions of what it meant to be autistic (and because i was developing an eating disorder at the time, which was their main concern).
later, at 18, another therapist diagnosed me with ADHD but didn't take my struggles seriously at all and always deviated from the issue when i tried asking her for help.
at 19, i moved to the city for college and started going to a new therapist. not only did she completely ignore my ADHD diagnosis, but she also refused to even consider the possibility of me being autistic (mind you, this woman didn't help me with my mental health at all, she actually made it worse).
eventually, at 20 years old, i decided to try going to a neuropsychiatrist and he immediately suspected i might be autistic. he recommended me for an assessment with a neuropsychologist who specialized in ASD and she ended up concluding that i had ASD Level 1 (formerly known as Asperger's Syndrome).
this neuropsychologist is now my new therapist and hands down the best one so far. however, it has been kind of a challenge for her to figure out the best way of helping me, since having both ASD and ADHD is quite the complex and unpredictable experience. this difficulty is worsened by the lack of research on how the two interact, adding to the very scarce research on how neurodiversity impacts girls and women. i try my best to describe my personal experience to her, but it isn’t always easy. it makes sense to me because it's all i've ever known but it's pretty hard to explain to someone else how my paradoxical mind works.
based on all of this, i have reached the conclusion that not every mental health professional is qualified to work with neurodivergent folks (even though they often say they are) and i absolutely recommend those who haven’t gotten a diagnosis yet to seek out an actual specialist!
i think that’s all.
sending love and wishing the best for all of you!
Just know. you are helping people just like yourself 100 years in the future by showing and telling people who you are and what you feel. I hope you know that. For all future women with adhd + autism ... I thank you for your service! and thank you for leaving this absolutely wholesome comment! It's easy to tell that you are a good person.
Hey, thank you for the information.
58, undiagnosed, sort of lost atm.
this video, and other channels has recently opened my eyes up.
currently trying to work out how i can afford diagnosis.
again thank you
Thank you. It must’ve been very hard. Sharing your story like this, helps me considering going for a diagnosis as well. I have recentelijk been diagnosed with ASD, but I feel like it isn’t really it completely, and then I stumbled upon this video which makes me anxious in a way because it checks a lot of things for me.
(me being anxious is because I still find it difficult to be like: “yes I may have something and can ask for help” cause I often tried to convince my whole life to not complain ‘and I am fine’.)
@@miniclip1162 thank you so much!! you're right, i hope it'll be easier to understand and help others like me in the future :)
@@zeromotivation1817 i sincerely hope you'll be able to afford it!! it'll give you a lot of answers you've probably been looking for all of your life, and it might help you feel less alone by knowing that several others out there have the same struggles as you! :)
I got my ASD diagnosis at 45, just over 7 years ago, and my ADHD diagnosis only last year. The ADHD side definitely impacts on the ASD. I present more autistic than ADHD. Funny thing is, my wife was diagnosed 'hyperactive' as a child (no such term as ADHD then) and now has a proper ADHD diagnosis and is almost certainly ASD as well, and she presents more ADHD. As for running in packs, that's because as a whole, we are much more accepting of other peoples neurotypes than NT's. We run in packs because we've all been bullied, we've all been snubbed, we've all been rejected by society as a whole, so in the end, we make our own society. It's inclusive and tries not to hurt the other person, and can be very healing for us.
That's awesome that you have been able to use your nuero diversity to your advantage. It's something I struggle with
Try hard enough and you can get diagnosed with many things. It’s a spectrum, I show tendencies for both, and I also have a degree of colourblindness, but I don’t go around calling myself autistic or colourblind.
@@X22GJPshhhh, I’m colourblind too and I tell everyone. You didn’t need to react negatively, but you did. I guess it’s down to choice
@@X22GJP and whats wrong with that? having labels is not a cr1me secondly if they use that to better themselves then what is your problem
@@X22GJPYou are the problem. Congratulations I guess?
Samantha I'm not sure if you still get to reading your comments, but just in case I wanted to stop in here and post a comment. This video was shared with me over a year ago while I was already going down the RUclips rabbit hole of research on all things ADHD and Autism. Your video was the first time I felt like I might be on to something. I've been misdiagnosed with a mood disorder and the year before last was diagnosed as ADHD. Today, minutes ago I finally got my Autism diagnosis. (You're book helped me to decide I wanted to get tested). I just wanted to say thank you so much for the content you produce and the vulnerability you share in such a big and public platform. All my best, Sara R Stewart in the state of Vermont, USA
Amazing. You sound like me! I have all five signs and have been, as you said conflicted in EXACTLY the way you describe it. I'm writing this a year after you posted your video, so it's still helping people. 😊
I was one of those people who was diagnosed with ADHD first prior to 2013 (when you couldn't have both an ASD & ADHD diagnosis) and just recently diagnosed as an Autistic. It didn't help that there is little to no research on Autistic adults (or in my case Black women) and even fewer involving Autistic + ADHD (dual diagnosis) individuals. The lack of research led me to panic before my assessment and kinda psych myself out but eventually getting answers *for me* was the best decision!
Thanks Sam! You've been a big help during the process!
See it's all that history that has me undecided about getting evaluated. I can't decide if it's worth the hassle at this point in my life.
How difficult was it to find a place to get evaluated? How much did it end up costing?
What were the tests like?
I'm trying to hunt down a place to get evaluated but it's proving so difficult. How can you tell if a place will be fair in their evaluation and not gate-keep? I've had a doctor try to rip away my ADHD dx and chalk all symptoms up to anxiety and that has really terrified me.
@@RutabegaNG many folks pass on the diagnosis b/c they're not struggling so figure "why would I need it"; but speaking from the perspective of someone who was attempting to get a diagnosis at the peak of their struggle, I always recommend putting in the work anyway. It's much harder to do when you've little to no executive functioning. Once done, the diagnosis is at least there when you may most need it.
@@Jade-db1jx Also curious! And gosh, I'm so sorry...that's terrifying...
Hey same here actually! Not only that I am a black mixed trans person as well, and was surprised to even have been diagnosed with adhd as a kid considering most kids diagnosed were cis white males. It's reassuring seeing others that feel the same as I have had imposter syndrome about my asd diagnosis as well
I questioned autism early on in figuring out the multitude of 'issues' I had within me. But one thing stuck out immensely that made me think of other possibilities - my ability to empathise was extremely keen and tuned in. I didn't have trouble understanding others, I just felt like they never understood me and I still do. Now, coming to the conclusion, after much research and pursuits with doctors and psychologists, I'm now fairly certain what I DO have is ADHD and BPD. Then I came across an article about comorbidities and the likeness of it happening. I still to this day score highly for autism, just a few pieces missing and I'm coming to realise that some traits may cancel each other out. Its all incredibly interesting - but most importantly I just want to know why I'm so different so I can stop feeling shit about myself and find ways to help myself.
There is actually such thing as high-empathy autism! Autistic people have the stereotype of being low-empathy, but that's only one type of us. I'm personally ADHD and high-empathy autistic, so I can confirm us empathetic autistics exist :)
As someone thats audhd i did think i had bpd for ages. The traits combined can look like bpd. Hyper empathy is extremely common in audhd too
Thank you so so much for this comment. I've been conflicted about whether I have ADHD or autism. I have very high empathy and don't have a hard time with social cues but I do have trouble with overstimulation, emotional regulation, terrible short-term memory and social difficulties. I know for sure I have something but I'm not sure what. I'm leaning towards ADHD
I have AuDHD and I’m very empathetic and adept at reading social cues. My problem is that I see through masks too well and that can feel disarming to others. I tend to be more honest and direct and am also a great mediator. I think the idea of poor social cues mostly has to do with how i physically behave through body language rather than how I interpret others.
@@cloudhearttherestlessWow...really ?! How did you find those informations ? Would you have some sources/reading recommandations ?
Gosh, that could make a lot of sense....
Thanks !!!
I got diagnosed with ADHD about a year and a half ago, I'm currently 25. This video is very helpful, it really feels like you've just described my entire living experience - an eternal contradiction, a walking paradox. My brother is Autistic (diagnosed at 3) and he presents the text-book descriptions of both Autism and ADHD (he has both), so I always thought maybe I was just jealous of him because he got a lot more support and attention from our parents - we're only a few years apart. But lately, with a corporate job, and a relationship, and struggling with just existing as an adult in a neurotypical society, I've begun questioning if there isn't more to my struggles that isn't being addressed by my ADHD treatment.
To sum it up: I have ADHD, and recently began questioning if maybe I'm not also Autistic and this video described my experience to a T! Very helpful, thank you! I will seek professional help to further understand what's going on. :)
I completely hit the nail on all five signs! Thank you for sharing this, it helps more than you know!
Honestly, the "no dual diagnosis" thing legitimately had a big hand in me messing up repeatedly in uni until I gave up. I've had an ASD diagnosis since I was 6, and therefore our first stage school (6-12 years) treated me like schools treated autistic kids in the late 90s/early 00s... if you know you know. I was academically pretty good until we reached the 2nd stage of mandatory education (13-16) because the added expectation of indepence with no preparation for it pretty much induced a free fall. I just barely managed to graduate, but the uni experience is what really kicked my self esteem when I was down. Here I was, learning subjects I was actually interested in and even kinda good at, and still consistently forgot the home assignments and projects + the trauma from being "the autistic kid" in my old school social environment didn't help as well. None of the typical strategies people recommended actually worked for me. I tried repeatedly to just push through but it never worked.
I got an adhd diagnosis in 2021 and honestly it was kinda bittersweet at that point.
To be clear: I'm not just feeling sorry for myself. I'm actually kinda pissed. Because if the dual diagnosis had been a thing, even unofficially as a possibility, I think just being aware of my ADHD and having access to ADHD specific self help things, I am certain I wouldn't have been left behind academically and had more chance of a better adult future than I currently have. Logically I know science marches on, but emotionally I feel robbed.
Same, Im a good student who´s great at humanities and things that interest me, but gods forbid I have to learn something I don´t vibe with. Also, I feel the time management sooo much.
So many things just don´t work for me, but Im slowly figuring things out.
I was never diagnosed, so I feel really betrayed that no one ever noticed. We both were.
No need for the disclaimer, it’s one of the most common reactions after an adhd diagnosis to be full of grief and rage. We were left behind for so long and could have been improving so long ago and have to start from scratch now.
I know what you mean 😢 except I wasn’t diagnosed with either of them until I was diagnosed with ADHD in college at the age of 20. I still haven’t been diagnosed with Autism, though I suspect it. I did fine in elementary school where I had support and a set routine at school and could do my own thing at home, but by about 8th grade or 9th grade I started to struggle keeping track of all my homework and getting stuff done and forcing myself to do assignments I didn’t enjoy. Then in college it all became so much harder. Even once I was diagnosed I didn’t get any support or anything for my ADHD and barely managed to graduate. Now, if I were to go back, I would do things much differently and make sure I had the necessary supports for my ADHD, and I’d get diagnosed for Autism so I could get support for that as well. It’s a struggle when I thrive on routine and love routines but can’t seem to stick to them. 😢
I know! We are the forgotten generation. I'm 35 and still waiting on being diagnosed for adult adhd even tho I've had since being little aswel as learning I'm autistic aswel.
School was year after year after year of relentless torture, creating c-ptsd. I'm still battling every single day with the rage of all those adults betrayal and abuse. Nothing got better by me being very intelligent - but only in verbal and creativity areas. It meant I always was told: You're smart, but never do well in school. That means your lazy. Work harder! You're expected to become the next star author!
All the other kids saw this, and concluded it was perfectly fine to bully the weird kid.
Does anyone else struggle with that constant bitter, bloody monster of memories?
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in 1st grade...and autistic at 50. Your video helps explain why I can be a total mess, until I break and turf out my messes. Why I get obsessed with topics, and then space out and mentally wander around lost. Much sympathy/empathy for those who are undiagnosed but know something's going on.
Useful and compassionate comment. Thank you.
Such an excellent video. Thank you! I'm older and in my youth...and small town...you just didn't talk about such things (sigh!) which didn't do me any favors and most certainly kept me in a constant state of confusion as to why I felt "different than". Your video explains this so clearly and I feel I understand my own traits and way of being much better now.
Thank you so much Sam for your great work. This video was my lightbulb moment. I had some suspicions about both, but didn't see myself fitting in either completely. After watching this (and crying for around an hour) I finally knew what had been going on in me gut the last 45 years. And that afternoon I started the formal diagnosis journey.
As someone who views myself as having both ADHD and Autism but due to lack of diagnosis often describes myself as just neurodivergent, watching this was so validating. I was able to recognize how each of these relate to my own life in my own unique ways. :)
@Yuqing Lee I'm glad you have found tools that work!
@@ASMCourtney "Yuqing Lee" has been posting this exact text as a response to various comments, and it matches the "this program/product/food/diet/magic powder cures autism to make parents happy" boilerplate. Approach with caution.
I describe myself as neurodivergent because my only official diagnosis is ADHD, but healthcare professionals have agreed in my determinations that autism and dyscalculia describe other experiences of mine that ADHD doesn't quite cover. I did have to pay for the ADHD diagnosis as I needed help in university and that was the only way to get accommodations.
Same ❤
DUDE FUCKING SAME
100% spot on. I am diagnosed with ADHD but I totally relate to the inner conflict of overstemulation and understimulation. I will constantly stimulation seek and multitask but ONLY if it's things that are completely under my control. Amost any novelty and change that is not in my control overwhelms and freaks me out!
This. Yes. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Omg yes! Never put it into words but EXACTLY!!
YES! I get so bored at home that I need to have multiple things going e.g. a video game and a youtube video. But as soon as my partner walks in and starts talking (over the top of the 2 other things) I can't function
Short order cook ...story of my lifetime
Oh my…. I think you just changed my life!! You articulated me and my conflicts exactly! Thank you 🙏😊 I’m 37 and diagnosed at 30 with autism- I was just tiding again because I struggle to keep the organization levels that soothe me . Have often been told “you can’t be that autistic you seem so socially ‘normal’ 😤. My god do I like to talk , yet social struggle and obsesses about how I socially have interacted. I found this video extremely eye opening. I’m very greatful you made it and I wish you true contentment on your journey. Thanks
I resonate strongly with all of this! Thank you for the validation, and for help languaging our inner worlds!
I was diagnosed with ADHD in the very early 80s when i was in first grade. Was on ritalin for most of my childhood. When i was in my early 20s i would babysit for my wifes cousin. Her son was on a more severe level of autistic. I watched him grow over the years, and how he acted in day to day life and i noticed a ton of similarities between things he would do and my own experiences growing up and as an adult. Just with him they were more pronounced and he never hid any of it from others eyes, which i did. Fast forward a few years and i was finally diagnosed with Autism.
Ritalin at a young age squad 🙏🏻
Wow, I wonder if the ADHD figures into our heightened need to mask, and even gives us the ability - it makes sense when I think about it, it's like I am tapping into another personality almost when I am in public around people who aren't my person- my inner circle consists of one boy and 7 cats, haha, I would give my right arm for my family to be alive again, they would be behind this all the way, because they knew something was wrong but I would slide in and out of mental health diagnosis, this autism spectrum+ADHD and I am most definitely a HSP (highly sensitive person) and the most introverted introvert, yet I can make small talk if I have to , and even enjoy it a little sometimes, like with cashiers at stores and stuff- shopping was my people time, I could be close but interaction wasn't demanded, it was perfect - until I racked up thousands in store credit card debt because I didn't have the money to shop, haha.
That was maybe some of the mania of my bi-polar, though, a lot of the time...
My brain is like Rubix cube to me, and I can't solve one of those to save my life, haha, so here we are...
Horses, thank God for horses.
Seriously, I had nothing before.
I can take care of them and earn a little money without going totally insane, but they couldn't support myself financially and still take care of myself, I don't know what I would do without my bf, he doesn't understand my issues but he loves me and supports me anyway, I couldn't ask for more-
(And yet I DO... Joe, if you're out there - "What the f*ck is wrong with me, what the F*CK is wrong with me..." You knew it, too, and the world was no easier for you. At least you had talent.
You didn't do much with it, but you had it...)
Anyway.
I digress, talking to ghosts again, I guess...
They are all I have to talk to, most days. And that's usually just fine with me, haha...
@@pariahmouse7794 this was a roller coaster. I honestly couldn’t understand who you were talking to at the end, your boyfriend?
Wow. As someone who after years of being diagnosed with depression/ anxiety finally thought they may be autistic, only then to discover they might also have adhd.. this hit home so hard. Particularly when you spoke about the need for everyone around me to be quiet, whilst making a lot of noise myself. That inner conflict has crippled my self esteem over the years. I have an assesment for ADHD on the 17th of November. Unfortunately i am on a long waiting list to be assessed for autism. To say I’m am anxious is an understatement. I’ve got myself in to a state, thinking that I’ve made all this up in my head and that actually I am just lazy and depressed. This video really helped ease my nerves. Thank you mind stranger
*kind
I Understand! i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in highschool and it has never felt correct. i finally saw a counselor who suggested i may have autism. well i havent been able to find anyone who can diagnose me officially but we went through all the criteria and it was the first time i felt like i fit in a category! and it made me realize why i clicked so fast with a friend of mine who knew he is autistic. i cried because i know now im not just broken. but through doing more research i have had a hard time knowing if thats all i have because sometimes i still feel really different...
100% agree. Mostly the being noisy yet needing quiet. The most often comment in our house is "you've just asked the kids to be quiet and now you're being just as loud" 😒
That's the worst part, what we tell ourselves or what sticks with us from what others tell us
Even having diagnosis and it's acknowledgement of a lot of people around, I still often find myself thinking 'what's hell is wrong with you? Pull yourself together, you're just not trying hard enough'
I think it's especially hard not really seeing or hearing other people going through the same inner conflicts, it does feel like it's all just made up in your head
Hope your assesment goes well!❤️
This was so helpful to me being able to finally pinpoint my frustrations- this brain can be so confusing often- so thank you!!
This really resonates with me! I am self diagnosed autistic, but I think the mix explains a lot. Thank you for sharing this.
This video was so validating. On one side I want to continue traveling the world and meeting new people. I crave the novelty however my autistic side wants to be left the hell alone and remain unseen. The part about the changing/consistent fixations was spot on too. Random things (typically youtube vids) can have me obsessed with mini projects and learning new skills. Once I gain above average efficiency, I get bored and move on to the next. After feeling like an absolute alien for so long, it feels good to be related to. Thanks for the vid.
I do this with languages. Got basic skills in German and Spanish, love languages and can understand and read a lot of Portuguese, French, Italian, German, Dutch, Nordic languages ect. So I can grasp a lot of information from a lot of different European language. I can just not follow through to be fluent and have efficiency with any 1 language. German is notoriously difficult to learn. So even though that was the first language I took head on trying to learn, it did take many years of spurts of interest in different languages to be able to understand spoken language well enough to conversate.
I ask myself all the time why I want to talk at everyone and want to, as you said, travel, meet a million people, and in my case work on big teams doing big things, but also believe it's nobody's business what I'm doing with my life and I refuse to share it on social media or even when asked about it.
Lolol I also want to travel but I see videos about "Ways to meet new people when traveling." and I think "Meet new people?? Why on earth would I do that and ruin a great trip??" 😂
I do this with humans. Maybe I should get new hobby.
same i have adhd and autism AND IM ALSO SUPER INTERESTED IN MINI PROJECTS
Although not diagnosed yet, I am fairly confident, after many years of research, that I have both. It was an epiphany when I realised I was autistic but imposter syndrome was strong. Though it explained so much, I still didn't feel I fit the mould and thought I was making it up. Then when I discovered adhd as well it explained everything and ticked all the boxes. It was such a huge thing for me, so exciting to discover I'm not just lazy, immature and incapable. There is a reason I'm so seemingly "bad at life". Though imposter syndrome is still kicking my butt and I won't feel able to speak up about my needs without a firm medical diagnosis, I feel the need to prove why I am the way I am and that I can't change or "get better". So many years of self hatred and blaming myself means I can't give myself any credit for just surviving until age 39 with no support. I still feel the need to apologise for my existence because I still see myself as a bad, lazy person who just isn't trying hard enough rather than a neurodivergent desperately struggling to keep my head above water.
omg your special too yay i love labels
Purple Ella has a great video on neurodivergent imposter syndrome (I feel the same!) And she also had both - good luck getting the support you need
Shit you’re good with words
@@yungmentalproblems get bent.
I struggle with impostor syndrome a lot currently too, I haven’t been diagnosed yet, but Im pretty sure I have both as well. So you’re not alone 😢, it’s especially hard when you feel like the people around you aren’t taking you seriously too, I told my parents and my mom was not really accepting it that well. So it’s pretty difficult especially when you’ve gotten thru life relatively ok (I’m 34 and I’ve always just been the “weird” girl), and seeming somewhat “normal” and people think you’re just making it up. 😒
I've had this video on my "watch later" list for about a year and now that I've watched it I'm like "how did this stranger just describe exactly how I've felt my entire life????" Thank you so much for sharing this video.
Great content. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and we have wondered about high-function autism as well due to a few of his mannerisms. I asked his doctor about it when he was very young but was blown off. I'm looking forward to sharing this video with him. Thank you!!!
The whole imposter syndrome thing is SO REAL. I got diagnosed with ADHD recently (and have been asked multiple times why I wasn't diagnosed as a child -- that was the masking, bestie!) and then I realized I was having a "either autistic people need to stop being relatable or i need to do some more research" moment. It all makes sense and lines up with my experiences. Other autistic people have said they think I'm autistic. But for some reason I'm still like "I cant believe I cheated on the ADHD/Autism test". how would i even do that!!
anyway, this was very validating and i think eventually i'll stop feeling like i'm somehow faking 😅
I feel this same way. I keep feeling like I’m faking or playing it up because I’m thinking too much about it… but why would we fake something that seriously makes us struggle so much for no reason & like hardly even benefit from? 🥲 I mean nobody is hearing my entire inner struggles but yes, I must be faking for attention (despite “masking” to seem normal the whole time 😂) if anything I’m faking being Neurotypical 😭
SAME! This makes me feel so good I thought it was just me. The second I started testing I felt like I was lying and I hated the feeling I still feel that way even though I’m not .
I’ve been diagnosed with both and the whole contradictory between both adhd and autistic traits is just so spot on especially when they make you contradict yourself and you just feel so hypocritical 😅 I’m just glad it’s not just me who feels this way. It’s hard feeling like your too much for people or other people are too much for yourself. It just makes it harder to actually connect with people
You're not hypocritical for not being one dimensional, I promise 💕
I see it more as chaotic, personally. I can embrace chaos more easily.
You gals! that are sharing on this topic, are incredible, I have never laughed so hard, and felts so understood! Im 40 and not diagnosed with anything, but has never known there were others like me!! Im so happy!
Wow. This is all so relatable. I love the fact that unlike many videos you didn't do a longwinded intro. I'm really interested in learning but the ADHD will make me skip through or shut down articles/videos that take too long getting to the point- which is an issue for people with ADHD writing articles or making videos...I'm longwinded AF!
I've only recently been formally diagnosed with ADHD but some commonly mentioned traits aren't 'me' at all. I'm not spontaneous or easygoing in the slightest, I want to know what's happening and the exact time it's happening, I get extremely anxious if plans change at the last minute or people are late, I like to be early for everything, I can't stand disorder (but I live in it.) I'm very socially awkward and anxious, but once I start talking it's like a tap I can't turn off. I struggle to relate to many people and feel like I don't understand how people function in society, the small talk and pleasantries that everyone expects you to do make me feel like an alien from another planet.
It's taken 4 years to be diagnosed with ADHD so I don't know if it's even worth trying to get assessed for autism in middle age.
1. 1:56 Constant conflict between apparently contradictory traits
2. 2:46 Your traits may appear to balance each other out
3. 4:08 A larger variety than usual of special interests/hyper fixations
4. 5:55 Different versions of your traits emerge in different situations
5. 7:02 You relate to people who have a dual diagnosis themselves
Thanks for doing this for everyone!
i can't even begin to explain how grateful i am for this video... i'm 20 and was recently diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD but my therapist (the one who diagnosed me) specializes in ASD so she mostly focuses on it, which has led me to deal with imposter syndrome because i don't fully relate to people who are only autistic. i'll definitely be sharing this video with her! thank you so much!!!
You just explained word for word what I’m going through
Also I’m 20 too
Omgyes
@@nattyjay5257 lol hilarious cuz this is exactly me too but im 46
Me too!
Diagnosed with ADHD few weeks ago, 2 years after I was diagnosed autistic. Watching your video felt like you were in my head 🤯 This is the first time I feel like I truly belong. Thank you
At six minutes and 28 seconds, that’s when I knew what you were talking about was totally me. Thank you for putting this out there.
I was diagnosed with ADHD last year and I was diagnosed with autism about a week ago. This makes so much sense to me. Ironically, I keep forgetting I’m even diagnosed with ADHD because it’s just felt like there’s always been a “bigger issue” that I had to figure out, even though it definitely contributes. I don’t think I can just keep neglecting that diagnosis and pretending like it doesn’t exist.
same. diagnosed last week
Omg I really feel that "I know I have ADHD but there is something else at play..." so hard...
I’ve been diagnosed as both a couple years ago at 23, and decided to watch this video to just kinda go “oh yeah I do that” or leave a quick comment about it being accurate, but your 4th point honestly hit me so hard because it described me growing up almost exactly. At school when we did in class assignments I could focus and get them done quickly, but at home with homework I just could never focus.
I’ve never seen this element of the ADHD/Autistic traits expressing/suppressing themselves in different environments talked about before
It's the same exact thing for me as well. It's satisfying for the adhd to be in public and draining for my possible autism. Homework is an escape from socializing while maintaining the adhd.
I'm diagnosed ADHD and sometimes suspect mild autism might be in play. This video resonated with me quite a bit, and seeing your comment about homework really resonates because it's so specific and I've never heard it voiced by someone else. I loved getting work done while at school because it felt good and easy, and at home I could never stay focused. Often I just started to fall asleep lol. I'm not positive what leads to this, but it's cool to hear someone else mention it
oh my god, i was just innocently reading through the comments and wasnt expecting to be hit with this super specific issue. i was always very fast in doing my assignments in class and i only occasionally struggled with focus, but at home i could not for the life of me focus on my homework. thanks for commenting this
Yes like what’s the deal with that
It takes me much longer to do it at home than to do it at school
I have had the same experience. If given in class time to do assignments, I always got them done and did well. But homework was out of sight and out of mind or, if remembered, it was too confusing to do in my home (lots of noise and distractions).
You are describing me to a T!! Even when you said hanging around other ADHDer's makes you feel like you need to get away and get your down time! That's how I am too, I'll get overwhelmed and need to get home to get energized again, it feels like those ppl will suck the life out of me but when I'm home, I act the same way and I know I can talk ppl's ears off! I thought I had a dual diagnosis! I was diagnosed with ADD at 55 and I'm now 57, I look back now and see so many signs of ADD and Autism but I was neglected when I was little and then drank too much and became an alcoholic for many yrs, thank God I quit after screwing up parts of my life (but it has gotten much better) and I'm so thankful that I got diagnosed because I knew I had something but couldn't put my finger on it. I'm going to talk to my doctor about the dual diagnosis! Thank you! I loved your video!!
This has been amazing. Thank you for sharing This all resonates, intensely!
Wow! This totally clicks! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 47 and was told I'm "twice exceptional" which is probably why I was never diagnosed. And it explained so much! But not everything. Like why I simultaneously LOVE and hate travel. I love the novelty of visiting new places, but am easily overstimulated by noise and lots of people. And the struggle to keep a clean house to keep sane while the ADHDemon makes it almost impossible. I hear you, sister--the struggle is SO real!
Me too! And at the same age!
I fully expected the ADHD, as my son had been diagnosed the month before, but I was not expecting the ASD1. I’m still figuring it out but it’s nice to meet a fellow traveler! ❤
I realized this a few years ago. I got a review that took 3 visits. The doc concluded that I wasn't on the autism spectrum, but that I was one point away on his rubric, but that I was one of the worst cases of ADHD he had seen. (One test was a recorded dialogue between a girl and her grandfather and I was asked about their emotional responses. I nitpicked the acting for 15 minutes.) Thank you for this video! You managed to describe exactly the issues I had growing up and still contend with daily. I does make me feel less alone.
Nitpicking the acting for 15 minutes made me LOL with recognition. You are definitely not alone.
I have to nitpick as a disclaimer. It feels necessary while the rest of the world cannot understand why I over share or explain myself. It is important, I don't care if nuerotypicals cannot see why it is. And they just consider it funny and a querk. Kind of frustrating, but it's not the worst response I've dealt with.
the nitpicking kind of made me laugh sorry
@@mindymeek2 this
This always happens whenever somebody questions me or I'm trying to explain myself I explain every aspect every point I'm trying to make in advance and some people see it as aggressive or ranting and sometimes it can be but other times I'm just trying to explain every single point I had and every single leap of logic my mind made and why do people not understand that?
@SomeoneWhoExists yes! My psychiatrist has commented that he thinks traits are often more relevant than a blanket disorder diagnosis, and I tend to agree. While ADHD and autism are among the conditions that may center around a common physiological root, there are plenty of disorders that are a judgement call as to what traits to aggregate, and even ADHD and autism don’t aggregate consistently (and it used to be thought that you couldn’t have both!). The diagnostic landscape has changed markedly since I was a kid, and I suspect it will change even more in the next 50+ years. There is so much overlap in traits, and I think this is because a lot of biological processes are very similar for different disorders. My issues clearly involve hypofrontality/executive functioning issues, overactive adrenal function, and an amygdala with too many darned dendrites. From those things you can get all sorts of disorders/neurodivergent states, hence the proliferation of comorbidities (one way of looking at it) or individual differences (which is my preferred way of looking at it.)
Thank you for being so relatable. I feel less alone and alien with your content.
Thank you so much for putting this into words and sharing. I have an ADHD diagnosis, and Bipolar, severe anxiety disorder, complex trauma, but somethings just don't add up and I didn't recognize the signs until my Austic son (15yr) started pointing out my masking, or other similarities and how hard I was trying but having different diagnosises is like having puzzle pieces but I'm missing what connects everything. He encourages me to be ME and stop letting others make me feel bad about who I am and what I need to function. I have one doctor (not a psyc Dr. but my pain dr.) who has asked me about a Autism diagnosis because he notices some contradicting behaviors that he believes that I may be handling Autism as well (he has an Autistic daughter) but when I tried (twice now and it was sooo hard for me to find the courage to ask about my contradicting symptoms) and I got laughed at and told to stay off the internet.
Since I can't seem to find the right words... im going to share your video. thank you
Relate to this so hard! Diagnosed autistic at 32-ish, felt it was right but not the full story. Met some great autistic women, got on fantastic, same wavelength, but something felt different about me. Two years later, I was diagnosed with ADHD as well, and everything makes so much sense. Inner conflict, frustration, arguments with myself, contradictory needs, wants and feelings.
Similar to one point in the video, I started seeing and describing myself as two very different selves, both me, sharing the same brain. It's like a sitcom in there with two roommates who are complete opposites, annoy the hell out of each other, and are always trying to get me to do what they want, and not what the other does!
For example -
ADHD me: Look! A flyer for a roller derby team! That sounds awesome! Let me look up everything there is on roller derby...
Autistic me: wait! Don't do what you did with circus tricks and order...
ADHD: Skates, pads, helmet, click!
Autistic me: In your hours of learning all about roller derby - ignoring me listing all the other silly projects you got bored of in one night - did you even check it was on a day we can go?
ADHD me: Uhh...
Autistic me: (wailing) I just want us to finish a single book! *throws juggling balls at ADHD me, who falls back into piles of half read books, diaries from years past with two weeks worth of entries in, maximum, and other dusty five minute hobby ephemera - boxing gloves, violin, gin making kit, sewing machine, mini digital keyboard etc.
Reader - roller derby equipment promptly joined said pile when it quickly became 'too hard', 'too far', and 'not fun'... and we didn't finish any books, but we started a new one!
Autistic me: 🤦♀️
I’ve seen this sitcom! 😩
Same. Though mostly in My head…
This is so relatable I don’t know whether I want to laugh or to cry.
I am not alone! I/we can't wait to meet you both!
Yup, living the dream- er - nightmare
Hey Sam, I don't have autism, just ADHD, but what you said about self contradictions still really resonated with me and helped me articulate some aspects of myself I struggle with. For me it's more like, I crave newness and stimulation and feel incredible joy and freedom when I act spontaneously, but also absolutely need strict routine and order to get basic necessary tasks and self care done, because the cognitive load of doing those things without the routine is too great. It sometimes feels like I have two brain states; if I indulge in whatever is making me excited in the moment I fail to do basic important tasks, which makes me stressed out and miserable in the long run, but if I go about my daily necessary tasks strictly I cut myself off from the things that bring me real joy and excitement, which also makes me steadily more miserable over time. It's incredibly frustrating. But, articulating it like this just now is the best clarity I've gotten on the situation so far. So thank you for making this point!
I can relate.
I, too, can relate. "Strike while the iron is hot" is not good advice when you have ADHD! We have to find a balance! I can think of several interesting perspectives I have on this topic LOL
Wait, is this me?! 😳 Literally samee
That’s exactly me..
i never heard someone describe this particular phenomenon (that i too experience) so effectively. so, seriously thank you bc this will genuinely help me explain my feelings.
Thank you so much, it's so important to see and hear each other. It feels so good to know someday I will feel understood.
This was really validating, I'm unable to seek a proper diagnosis for financial reasons (and also the process is just too overwhelming), but this matches my lived experience very well. Especially the overstimulated and underestimated simultaneously. I struggle with that frequently, and it's the absolute worst.