(S3E4) Christian Homemaker | SEX & CHORES in MARRIAGE | Black Housewife
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- Опубликовано: 20 июл 2024
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00:00 Teaser
00:27 The Modest Fitting | www.themodestfitting.com/
00:49 "Sex starts in the kitchen."
10:00 "Wives are not obligated to have sex."
14:39 Household work and the division of labor.
I will forever preach that having less in your house will making cleaning so much more enjoyable and easy. Sometimes people have way too many things such as decorations, furniture, etc that add to a big list of things to clean and makes you extremely tired at the end of the day!!
That's right. If it takes more than 15 minutes to tidy up a room, that room has too much stuff.
Amen
Hmm never thought about it this way!
This is a great point.
Plus you save a lot of money keeping things simple
When my 4 children were ages 8-0..I felt overwhelmed by my homemaking responsibilities, so I asked my husband one day what specific chores were most important to him. He said, Clean underwear and supper! I laugh now at that answer. But given that info, plus the couple of chores I chose were most important (clean bathrooms and kitchen), I made our lives work more smoothly. 13 years later this is how I still determine how to keep my priorities in line....PS His priority chores are still: clean undies and supper.
I love this. I think that is what most men want.
@@Omatimestwo Knowing this, I think it's a shame that hot suppers are often the first thing to go.
Unfortunately due to wordily influences, clear communication and prioritizing what he needs is a lesson a lot of us women need. Good for you for being ahead of most. Men are simple creatures, they don't need much. We women put a lot on ourselves by overthinking and excluding husbands from the decision making process.
Provision isn’t only synonymous with providing finances. Sure yes let’s stick to our roles. But as a couple other people have mentioned in the comments, it’s worrisome to not hear you acknowledge that husbands SHOULD help a wife if she’s overwhelmed with her duties and vice versa. A husband’s command is to love his wife like Jesus, aka sacrificially. It is not Christ like for a husband to not want to help his overwhelmed wife if he is able just because it’s not his “role”. That’s not provision or partnership or love…
I've committed to read the Bible cover to cover and I've been working at it for about 2 years bc I wanted to really understand and digest it properly. And EVERYTHING that you are saying is absolutely in line with the Word of God. And kudos to you for reading a book that you don't completely agree with bc I believe that can teach us just as much, even if it's to create a space for deep diving into the Word and clarifying our own beliefs 💛🌻 Thank you Bindi
Amen!!!! Love this!!! I LOVE my chronological NIV Bible! It puts every verse of the Bible in chronological order of the date so it’s extra captivating because it reads like an epic novel that I know is historically true!
Banks don't train their people to keep counterfeit bills out of acceptance by showing and reading all about the false bills. Why is that, and what do they do instead?
Career duties and domestic duties are NOT the same things. A husband can’t just do his career duties and think he is doing his whole job as a husband and father. Those roles can’t be replaced or relinquished to his wife. He is not off the hook from being present, creating structure and being a good example to his household. If that means showing the children he cares enough to pick up something he may have left out so be it. I don’t see the detriment you speak of by having a husband that is not solely a provider of money. A husband should be protecting his wife’s physical well-being as well as her mental health. Not just paying for a mortgage. How about simply being a considerate partner.
It’s not always effective to tell the woman it’s her JOB to make all the changes and manage all the days work. The man is capable of rearranging his schedule too. Who says the man is working hard laborious job all day? Each couple is different. Both can make it a priority and do what needs to be done if they just HAVE to have sex. It’s reciprocated. Duty sex is not sexy just like the author said.
I totally agree!!!
Thank you for this. I was struggling to understand why Bindi's message was not sitting well with me. Husbands are not only called to provide monetarily but to also serve and care for their families. The wife is in charge of the household but she is not the only one in charge with anything and everything to do with family rearing. There is benefit in having strictly defined roles in a marriage but I think one of the pitfalls of that is that is if one party is overwhelmed or just struggling in their role for a season, then there's limited grace to be able to help them. An example is a husband whose earning capacity is significantly reduced due to external factors and now requires his wife to earn a little bit of income until their finances stabilise. If you as the wife are so adamant about roles, you might find yourself feeling extremely bitter and resentful of this outcome but if you have love and are willing to extend grace to your husband, you will be more understanding.
You read my mind. This is realistic and factual. I don’t feel as if this point of view disobeys the Bible.
@@m.miresh1384 Exactly. There’s a season for everything but moreover the man is supposed to be the head of the household not the women. Paying for a home but not maintaining it is not biblical servitude. We BOTH own the home, we BOTH are parents. If men are naturally STRONGER than women as we know, then obviously there will be things that a wife may need her husband to take care of that he will be better suited for. That’s honoring our differences. Not taking away.
I honestly get turned on when I watch my husband mow our lawn or do yard work all glistening in the sun. Or when he puts away his clothes that I folded up without me asking or when He cooks for us. 😌 Especially since my love language is Acts of Service. I’m always in the mood to BLESS my husband when he serves me. Not that I don’t serve him anyway but I would not feel loved if my husband took offense of me asking him to do anything around OUR home.
@@Nitra813 Yeah, same here.
Few things in life excites me as much as a Christian who actually believes the Bible! And why is that outrageous in any way? Bindi, you are talking so much sense and I thank God for your channel - I am an older woman but I use your channel to educate my 18 year old and help her navigate a hostile, feminist world.
You are an awesome mama
Your daughter is going to thank you when her God-fearing husband finds her. Great job!
Here is something else that folks are often reluctant to consider limiting : children's activities. I'm all for the growth, character, and creativity that can be fostered by extracurricular activities. But when they leave the family frazzled and too tired to prioritize more important things, it's time to cut back. If you protect your marriage, you simultaneously protect your children.
Yes sex should be selfless. I don’t get egalitarian from what was said. I think you’re reading too much into it. There is nothing wrong with a man helping around his own house. A man can help his wife. He won’t get punished by God for helping his helpmeet. Also Just because a husband is asked to help with something doesn’t equate to having him do EVERYTHING. Neither the wife or the husband replace each others role. Yet that’s what it sounds like you’re telling women.
It’s not about trying to take away or replace roles it’s about simply BLESSING your spouse in the ways they need. It’s not an attack. I know what it’s like being exhausted in every way. If something can’t be done there needs to be Grace. The Bible does state that the women should know how to work in the home but that doesn’t mean she is the only one to do the work. Nor does it say the husband shouldn’t tend to his land or property.
Although I am not married yet, your wisdom is golden and I am so happy I found your channel!
People please read the Bible for yourself like she said so you may discern as well. There are many scriptures that if taken singularly could be used to support anything. I'm not saying that's happening 100% here, but I would be cautious of any advice that is not compassionate and full of love, which is the number one theme of the Bible and our number one commandment. Are you really telling me a man who loves his wife like Christ loves the church would act in this way? When he KNOWS she's tired? That sounds like a man who is a slave to his flesh 🤷🏾♀️. Ladies, men who truly follow Christ, not the flesh, will LOVE you and you will honor and respect him because of it. It will not be painful and you will not be overwhelmed like this (although no one is perfect). Now, if your husband is not a believer then okay he may not have a template so compromises may have to be made. But a follower of Christ is sacrificial especially a husband; who is supposed to give HIMSELF up for his wife Ephesians 5:25-29. I haven't read this book, but I have read the Bible and as the daughter of a minister it is God first, your husband, then your kids.
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Yes preach! It’s so important we read the Bible ourselves and pray for gods spirit to make sure we are applying the info correctly. I look forward to bindis videos and her book reviews because wit gives me new things to ponder on but no matter who’s practical advice I listen to whether non Christian to make it a truth I have to connect it with a scripture. And gods main quality is love 1corinthians 13:4 the first thing god describes love as is patient. God is patient in dealing with us and one of the biggest was to know if your man or anyone for that matter really loves you is a strong pattern of patience & kindness. This is something I’ve been working on myself we can have menorized all the scriptures but if we don’t have love with dealing with people it’s all in vain
Life is difficult! To think that your husband’s love for you is measured by how much pain you feel is an example of leaning into your flesh. To have love, honor and respect for your spouse does not exempt you from pain and suffering.
We only have a few days in this life and they are full of trouble.
That’s the issue a huge amount of men Christian men at that aren’t following this principle and are slaving to the flesh and in turn slaving their wives. No when all parties are aligning and in one accord with THE WORD as it is instructed that’s another story. I believe that is where the problems fall in as well as different upbringing experiences and examples.
I love the part where Grace is given for some of these women. When reading the Bible we must recognize that those women usually had servants (maidservants, menservants, and husbandmen). Those people did much of the housework, gardening, cooking and even nursemaid . Look at the Proverbs 31 woman who had servants, Sara had servants, Rachel and Leah all had maidservants , even Moses mother was a servant to his adoptive mother.
And these women had servants before having children.
I say that to say, take it easy on yourselves ladies. It’s ok 👌🏾 to ask for help. If feasible, ask your husband for the cleaning lady to come once or twice a week or a month. It’s not as expensive as you may think, and it frees you up mentally and for some intimate time with your hubby.
You're so spot on, I completely agree
We must remember that we have "servants" in the form of washers, dryers, dishwashers, vacuums, water pumps, stoves, refrigerators, cars and on and on! Praise the Lord! We are SO blessed!
@@cherithomas6652 yes very grateful for those “forms of servants” but neither of those will get the job done to completion like a true servant would. There’s still much work to be done with having them. Women shouldn’t feel oppressed, repressed,or depressed but refreshed! A burnt out woman isn’t as valuable to her husband as one that has a little more self care time. Especially in the bedroom.
@@goodthewizard you're preaching sista
till do day there are some countries in the world were woman still have servant for help- they pay for it.
a dear friend of mine have many kids and she and her recognise that she can't get all the housework don on her own ,so they hire a cleaning lady- once a week. And there is a sister in the church wo does iron the clothes of the family. This Sister takes this kind of serving from the Lord, she was asking the lord how can i serve you? And the Lord show her this family.
The book doesn't ever say you can deny your husbands, it simply allows for open dialogue between husband and wife. Something valuable for me, who used to allow my husband to use my sore and tired body in the name of "not denying" him. This book exposes women like me to open dialogue with my husband and now we have good frequent sex, not painful sex.
Yes, it's women in your situation who the book is aimed at. I feel that for women outside the main audience, they should "let it fly if it don't apply".
the idea that women should just allow their husband use their body is weird
You’re a wise young woman, so glad I found your channel.
I feel the same 😊
“The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.” Proverbs 11:30 The Holy King James Bible
I absolutely L❤️VE the example you gave about the wife asking the husband what is the most important thing to HIM that she has done when he gets home (on her tired days). This is amazing!! First of all, it takes HIS view in consideration and tells him that it matters what he thinks. We all know that to men, RESPECT=love to a man. Also, it's EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION within a marriage and that is absolutely a must have in order to be happy and solid in a marriage. Team members MUST know how to communicate with one another. Also, it really does provide a simple yet effective solution to the wife's dilemma. Win win all the way around! I never even thought of asking my husband what is the most important thing for him when he comes home. I usually just try to make sure he eats and can lay down and relax in a clean home after his hard day as a welder but, most of our kids are grown and gone and the rest are teens.
You're on point, as usual. One thing to keep in mind is that the wife is far less overwhelmed if she's not trying to work full time and maintain "equality" with her husband. That kinds of thinking leads to her doing double duty, and thus greater fatigue.
Dear Bindi, I've lately binge-watched series 1 to 3 on your channel, while doing house chores. I actually enjoy listening to your opinion as your words are always very elaborate and well-put - even though I can't relate much, as a non-Christian woman, no kids yet, working full-time for my own business, earning even more money than my fiancé does at the moment. I really enjoy your videos a lot, they grant me a new way of seeing things! Thank you so much for that! I could never imagine being only a housewife and the teachings of the Bible are very foreign to me, so props to all women who follow this path! All the best to you and your family!
That is amazing you are being open-minded to hear teachings from a faith you don’t practice! What is your faith background?
@@MrsYoung-in9ov I was raised without any confession, but I think it is important to listen to other beliefs or cultural peculiarities, even if we don't share them or might disagree in the end. 🙂
hmm i cant say i agree with this 100% bindi im 1 of 7 and if i was in my moms shoes which were not easy ones to fill id be pretty hurt if after such a long day and my mom just felt tired like a normal person would with raising 7 children shes deemed a sinner or a bad person for telling my dad she wants to sit a night out from sex? we are human we arent machines. i just think its very unrealistic to always say yes to your husband for sex even if you dont want. sex wouldnt be fulfilling in that case and it also is selfish cause to come home knowing how hard your wife has worked how tired she is now she has an obligation to satisfy you now as well even if shes exhausted or just doesnt want to? just doesnt seem healthy sex is but not everyone wants to have sex every single day or on demand some do but not all. if you happen to be a person that loves sex with your husband but turn him down time to time to rejuvenate your body and get some rest i really dont see how that would make you selfish smh. my mom raised 7 if she needed a break from sex from time to time i just dont see how that is wrong just like if your husband is really tired from work and wants to sit it out as well.
I soooo wish I'd had someone like you speaking into my life in early marriage! You're such a blessing. I found you on accident. I was actually watching an tutorial on altering a dress to make the neckline more modest and from the keyword modest, one of your videos played next and I've been HOOKED. You're like an answer to a prayer I didn't know I was praying. well I was praying for God to help my marriage. I just never thought it would come in the form of fixing ME through a girl on RUclips. 😅 Thank you!
This has been a struggle for us because my husband literally only worked. once the kids got a little older he sometimes watches something with them after he gets home but prior to that he just worked and watched tv. Which I still don't think is right, but worse I felt it was my job to correct. terrible fail. And I felt exhausted and wronged and sooo did not want to put out. I didn't exactly say no. but I'd wear frumpy clothes.msometimes stay in the nursery until I was pretty sure he was asleep, or if he was playing a game I'd go to bed without telling him. just trying to avoid it. it was rough. We processed through it all a lot and developed more healthy understandings. Mostly of whether meant to him. I really just saw it as a physical act and therefore felt very used. learning about what it meant to him and was suppose to do for out marriage helped a lot. Once he said he didn't want to either but knew we should and I was just lost. he said it's like going to the gym sometimes. You know it's good for you, it will feel good while you do it and the benefits are great. But it's a lot of work! especially since you have to pack the gym bag, drive there, warm up and after do it all in reverse. if I why that analogy helped so much but it did.
we have a phenomenal s#x life now. it took work though! and I'm still learning and so is he. Sometimes we have seasons where I tell him I'm overwhelmed and don't want to let him down by not getting things done. but I also don't want him to feel neglected bdcause im burned out by tge end of the day. He usually has great ideas for things I could let go of, do differently, or even that he could help with. definitely recommend that tip!
In that story it sounded like she was getting stressed out making dinner, the kids were yelling, and I know that can be very frustrating. The problem is that the children aren’t disciplined. They should be able to play quietly for an hour without an adult entertaining them. That’s a huge amount of stress on mother now’s a days because we let the children run the house and are constantly at their beck and call and entertaining them constantly. When our ancestors were hand washing laundry, and tending the garden, and canning, and plucking chickens, and everything else, children had to behave themselves and play with each other while their mother worked. When your husband comes home and he can’t get the children to stop screaming for a few minutes while you cook and he “gives up” on homework because it’s too loud as if he has no power over that it sends to message to the wife that even his children do not respect him. So why would she be attracted to a man of such low status that he can not even control his children? The answer isn’t for the wife to just force herself to submit to sex to a man she doesn’t want to have sex with. And for the man to whine like another child because she wasn’t into it when he knows full well that she was up 4 times the night before with a sick baby. The answer is for everyone in the family to know their place. His role is to not just provide and then act like a child at home. His role is to be the head and discipline the children and notice that his wife is tired and send her to bed early. When my babies are little I got to bed at 8pm while my husband is on parent duty. Sure I get woken up many times in the night but I have 12 hours to get 8 hours of sleep. And once a week I go out with friends while my husband takes care of the kids without compliant or problems. And when my other mom friend are getting multiple calls from their husbands whining and asking a million dumb questions and finally calls her home because he can’t get the kids to go to bed, it’s painfully obvious how childlike the modern man is. And that’s not attractive.
PREACH! That’s what I’m saying.
This is a very strong, valid and valuable perspective. I 100% agree. I was a single parent before I became a Christian and wife. And even then, after work when my child was fed and given a bath, I would place him on a "quiet rug" so mommy could have a bath, each dinner and relax. That little boy would sit quietly and colour or draw until it was time for bed. Now that I am married I cannot even imagine my husband allowing our children to create chaos in our home in that way. So yes discipline is KEY and the husband is chief in that dpt. Mother is deputy and enforces father's rules when he's not present.
The three words I'd most want to hear isn't: "I love you" but "I've got this".
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 Yes!
Amen !
Bindi, I’m gonna pray about this. I’m not married yet but I want to be fully prepared when the time comes. If my husband and I both need to work to secure a mortgage and provide for our kids and help our parents; it would be really exhausting, almost impossible to rear the children and keep the home by myself.
Please marry a man who does not expect you to work full time.
Hey lady! I felt the need to respond to you because I feel you and applaud you wanting to be prepared.
Do NOT get caught up in this demonic world system of long-term debt that makes you both slaves to a job.
Here's my two cents: 1) Do not marry a man who leads you into a lifestyle that he can't provide for. Many men will start to label you as a gold digger and selfish, but the Word is clear on this. The man is responsible for providing, the woman is responsible for keeping the home. If he can't provide at this point, what's his plan and deadline to change that?
2) Do not buy a single family home with a mortgage. One long-term job loss and you're in a financial crisis. Considering our economy has a recession about every 15 years, most couples are likely to experience this at some point. If it's possible, buy two-or three unit building (look into 203K loans and tax sales). You guys live in one unit. Rent-paying tenants live in the other units. This may be less square footage, but at least the home is producing income that helps your husband's earnings. Regardless, buy an income property before you buy your settle down home.
3) Live near your parents or your support system. Raising children is a team sport. Parents should be willing to help.
TESTIMONY:
My husband and I bought a 3-unit building. We have two kid age 6 and 8. My 8-year-old son has autism. My mother-in-law lives in one unit. She's our full-time "family assistant." In exchange for free rent, she does babysitting, laundry, school pick up, daily cleaning, dishes, and doing my daughter's hair. Oh, and she makes breakfast in the morning. My mother lives on the second floor, she does outings with the kids and pays rent that covers half the mortgage. We live on one income, mine. I'm a business owner, so I have a lot of flexibility. I handle the cooking, groceries, homework, vegetable garden, small group Bible studies, play dates. My husband is in school to become an electrician. He takes the licensure exam next month. He already has his first $20K project lined up for October-November, and another for December. We just bought another apartment building that he will manage.
We feel very blessed to have this living situation. It's very un-stressful. I hope this gives you some ideas.
I agree with the above poster marry a provider. A man older than you should be set up from years of working while being single
Not only that, but if you want to stay home, choose a mortgage that allows you to live within the means your husband can provide for you!! Is an extra bedroom really worth having to leave the home and work? Be realistic and adaptable and be creative with your resources.
It's not always about the extra bedroom or bigger yard. Times are extremely difficult right now; rents are equal to or more than mortgages or you're sacrificing living in an unsafe area to have a barely attainable mortgage because interest rates and housing prices are obnoxious. It's not about finding a "man who can provide" because realistically a man who can provide for a wife and child OR more than one child" is scarce if you don't want to live in the ghetto or live beyond your means because you're talking about close or 6 figures or more. A godly man making 6 figures or more along with all of the qualities you find necessary? Good luck with that. It's about finding a man who wants to provide, figuring out what he is able to do, and what you may need to do to help if there's a need to supplement. I have friends who want to homeschool because they don't want their children being indoctrinated but can't because they simply can't afford it with the husband working full time or even the wife working part time. Im a nurse and make pretty good money hourly, work part time, and things are very difficult. Not because husband isn't godly or doesn't want to provide but because we didn't discuss expectations and plans for the future or our children.
So the best advice I could give is to discuss expectations for finances and family rearing soon as you know you're heading in the way of marriage. The problem I find with women who preach finding a man who can provide is that the statistics show a man who can fully provide what most women expect now days doesn't support everything they want. The more expectations you have the smaller your pool grows. Or the smaller your expectations need to be to not pass up a GOOD man.
I am loving this series!! Thank You so very much for sharing!!
I love your videos and I wait for them impatiently every time
Awesome teaching!! I have felt guilty before for wanting to please my hubby instead of having my porch clean or have all the laundry put away. Now your teaching was a confirmation that what my husband telling me that our time together is more important that other things.
One thing that you can do if you need to scale back your priorities a bit is to talk with your husband about getting outside help. Sometimes time it could even be free. When I am exhausted but things need to get done I sometimes enlist my nieces and nephews to help. I even pay them. Mabye your your friends daughter is a gardener or studying to be a botanist. She can help with your garden in her free time.
You can barter time and skills with a neighbor. Maybe your neighbor is a single mom but your kids go to the same school and are in the same grade. She can take your kids to school in exchange you can make a little extra chilli for her kids for dinner until she gets home from work. Maybe a middle school kid can walk the dog in exchange for a little lunch money. There are ways that we can find to help take the burden off. That is what community is for. There is always a way.
That's really good advice. What this example shows is either the lack of community and extended family around this couple (as with so many other couples) OR being so caught up in things that they don't see the potential avenues of help around them.
Thanks for this enlightening message, Bindi. Knowing what our priorities should be is really helpful x
Yes. This video was so well needed, especially as September is now here I was filling up our days with activities, but not realistically thinking how much it would impact our family. So, we scaled back as a family and feel already more peace.
UMMMM!!! I don't think young moms are saying that sex NEEDS to go... I think what we are saying is that I am SOOOOO exhausted, over whelmed and sick of having a human hanging off my arms or breasts that I have no physical or emotional strength to have sex with my husband... TRUST me I was not cleaning, I was barely cooking, I had almost no time to shower... Because ANY spare time I had was spent trying to rest. My child wouldn't sleep for more then 1hour and 45 minutes for 6 months... After 6 months I started getting 3- 4 hour sleep "clumps"... My husband NEVER helped me at night, because he had to go to work and that is fine.... BUT you better believe that he gave me no guff about not having sex during that time. My youngest is now 2 and the oldest is 6 and we are finally starting to come together again, but it still isn't like it used to be when we had no kids... We are BOTH super exhausted from working all day and taking care of the kids... Sometimes he even rejects me because he has work to do until midnight or is just too tired. SOOOOOO YEAH! You need to understand that the real world doesn't work like that... Even though the bible says this is the ideal relationship, but NONE of us are the ideal human... the bible also says that lying is a sin... Have you ever lied? Of course you have... we all sin and none of us are perfect... All we can try to do is our best and attempt to be more godly... We can all strive to better and follow the Bible as best we can... However I AM NOT going to beat myself up or judge myself (or others) for not being the perfect bible wife all the time. I do my best every day and so does my husband. Any woman reading this who isn't having as much sex as you would like, please know it is ok... Continue to try and find a way to come together with your husband, but don't be too hard on yourself either.
I love love love this. So much wisdom. This is by far my favorite video from you yet!
Thankyou Bindi, so so wish someone had shared this wisdom with me when I got married years ago. The wisdom in your videos is transforming me and thus our marriage! I love how you are kind and gentle, yet firm and unswerving from God's word. Praise God for your courage to lovingly speak the truth that sets people free. GOD BLESS YOU!!!
My husband's most important thing is the dishes and clean bathrooms. He really hates a dirty kitchen. He helps me when he has the time. But when I am overwhelmed or just have a really busy day, I will see to it that the dishes are done and the toilet is clean. Dinner made is a given, I don't even see it as a chore.
My hubby's most important thing? Dessert that has chocolate. I am not kidding. i think the house could be falling down & he would not even notice. But if I haven't made a dessert with chocolate for the week, its like the end of the world. Whats the problem one could ask....I literally can NOT stand chocolate. I want PIE! LOL. His other peeve. Too many CLEAN dishes piled up. I wash all by hand & there is usually a sizable pile. he'd rather deal with a stack of dirty dishes than clean ones piled. so weird.
Omg thank you for breaking this down. I just subscribed and I’m not gonna lie, only recently have I been interested in building a relationship with god. Prior to this I wasn’t even sure if I practiced anything to begin with.
However I think a large part of my struggle with not only reading the word is finding a community that make sense. So much of the community feels like I have to compromise myself and my mental health and my joy in order to have a relationship with god. And honestly that complete disregard is what made me turn away in the first place.
You have no idea how much I appreciate an in depth explanation, how and why you should fix these things. Instead of just stopping at “husband and wife shouldn’t deprive each other so you have too” stoping there often times feels like (at least as a woman) you have to even when ur depressed, even when your overwhelmed, even when you’re in tears.
Literally no one offers realistic solutions or understanding when you feel this way. And often the solution is ignore yourself.
As you review the book even i, who again haven’t studied the Bible can see how much of what they describe doesn’t make sense, not even just biblically but in general. How can intercourse start in the kitchen but even when offered help in the kitchen that still doesn’t fix the problem? Like she debunked her own point. Obviously I’m not advocating that if you feel so overwhelmed and near tears that you should be having intercourse because I can’t see any decent man wanting to do that with an unwilling wife. But the answer can’t be that and also not being intimate at all. Obviously it’s something else…..
I’m sorry for this being so long, it’s just exciting to find someone who has been answering my nuanced questions and that validates my feelings. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
I keep looking for flaws in your argument but happily, I cannot. Your argument is flawless.
Sincere question here… Why do you “keep looking” for flaws?
@@ThePurpleElephantt Because I have a tendency to be stubborn and not want to obey so I look for ways to get out of obedience.
@@SamHoward281 Wheww! I understand this so well. Lord knows…. Thank you sister for not taking my comment as an attack
@@ThePurpleElephantt I try not to take things personally on RUclips. Plus you said "sincerely" so....I took that as if you were looking for an answer to a real question.
This is an awesome lesson in learning what to prioritize in your day to day life as a wife and a mother. Thank you!
I'm so thankful that I found your channel. It's been such a breath of fresh air for me. Praise God!!
I just wondered if you have ever considered doing a review on the book Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl? It's a very controversial book in the Christian circles but one that started me on the right path concerning the proper roles in marriage and respect for my husband as head of our home.
And I'm so grateful today for what I learned because it has transformed our marriage. God's plan is so powerful, that even though my husband is not a believer, we still have a very loving and happy marriage because I choose God's plan over my own and trust that He is enough.
Anyway, thank you for standing up and sharing straight biblical truth. May God continue to bless you and your family. ❤️
Amen and amen! So blessed to find your channel! I couldn't agree more. Great advice and godly wisdom.
Amazing content: Priorities and proper planning
When I finally realised this in my own marriage (thankfully very early on), sex became our haven from the overwhelming and exhausting days and my libido skyrocketed too. No matter how bad a day it is, I have plenty of energy once the babies (yes, babies) go to bed. Sleep training, refusing to co-sleep with babies, and putting my husband first have all contributed to our happiness.
Thank you so much for your input! This is very helpful wisdom.
Sleep deprivation nearly destroyed ua
Well, ring-a-ding-ding! 🙄
The destruction of the extended family unit and the support that it provided, I believe, is a key factor to the many issues women with young children face today. As an example, when my Aunt (in her 80s now) gave birth to her first child, my grandparents, her in-laws, married sisters/sister-in-laws with no children yet or older children and single sisters/sister-in-laws all helped my Aunt - a roster system was put into place. My Mum said that when a female in the family gave birth that for the first 12 weeks the new Mum was not required to do anything but rest and bond with her newborn. The females of her immediate family and extended family did everything - prepare meals, housework, laundry, taking care of any younger children. Back then family members lived close to one another, the married women were stay at home wives, family was treasured and its importance honoured and respected. Women, young and old, had a support network of females (family members and friends) - it was a community of women that supported each other. My family heritage is European, the country of Croatia.
@@niram6707 Totally agree. And unfortunately not every baby will respond to sleep training. I tried for weeks and my 9 month old would cry for 2 hours straight if I allowed it. I felt like child neglect and it was extremely stressful. I tried.
Hey Bindi, thank you so much for this video, you are the answer to my prayers. Thank you for allow God to use you like this... Dont stop, you are helping so many women, so many families and saving marriages. May God bless you n give you more strength n wisdom to continue with your channel.. from SA 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
I’ve been listening to you now for a couple of months and it has finally clicked. Your constant mention of its biblical has finally sunk in. I have 3 kids 18, 22, & 23 still living at home, I’m still washing clothes and cooking for everyone it’s all good, I’m enjoying it. Only in the last 2 weeks, I suddenly began to stop seeing sex as another chore, I’ve finally snapped out of that and now my marriage feels so much better. Going by the Bible is actually liberating. Women need to give themselves time to realise that their children will grow up. Look ahead, everything will work out. Enjoy being the woman God intended us to be! We are the beautiful species! We are there to turn our husbands on! They love us being available and in turn they will be available for us.
I was impatiently waiting for your video😍
U say don't EXPECT your husband to help, pick up slack, etc. That's fine I can certainly lower my EXPECTATIONS of him and his role....I just EXPECT him to do the same. Don't be EXPECTING sex when my tank is on empty! Now I realize u r talking to housewives and not women who work 10 hour days. So I guess if my husband EXPECTS me to bring home a paycheck he better EXPECT to cut back on some of his "EXPECTATIONS "!
Except it doesn't get promoted THAT way round.
I totally love you ma'am... Thanks for all these biblical truths you reopen ever so often... With so many voices and opinions flying around,it's often easy to drift away from these grounded truths. Thanks for settling all these dust that keep rising!
Wow…. This was so good!!! I needed this.
I love your commitment to God's word! It's not always easy to admit when we are wrong. The gardening comment hit me hard! I was already thinking it and then you said it. 😆
Time to re- evaluate! ❤
Great advice sister, I always look forward to your videos😊
Sis I love you so much. The thumbnail made me lol. 😂
do you have any videos on homeschooling? i couldn't find any in search but would love to know more about this, love your channel!
"You better BELIEVE you're going to feel the effects of that." Your wisdom is remarkable! Thank you for reminding me to continue turning to the Bible in all matters! God bless you Sister.
What are your thoughts on family planning? Using the rhythm method to prevent pregnancy? Thanks.
I have really loved getting to know you, and have been blessed from watching your videos and contemplating the biblical teachings your focusing on. I wanted to see if you have ever done any reading or contemplating on how a wife could benefit and put into practice the idea of the sabbath.
Would also love a video on this! The rhythms of the home.
I’m finding that intimacy in mornings works best for me bc after a full day…I’m super burnt but I know I can’t leave my husband hanging so I make it a point to get up early to bless him and me !
I definitely experienced something like that with kids in my life just as many of have who have little kids close in age. Also my husband has a job where he goes on trips for a week and home for a weekend, so I often felt as a single mom in a way and lived in a city where we had no close relatives.
As a stay at home mom My problem was that i thought i was a super woman and had to keep the house and kids and everything else in PERFECTION, so no one would say i was a reckless wife/mother that cant keep a home. I also had a problem to ask people for help. This was a pride issue. I think many women can relate to this. And there were plenty of times where sex was less important to me than a perfectly kept home because i thought my husband will be upset (bcuz a clean home was actually much more important to me than him) and at the end of the day i was too tired to passionately indulge in our marriage bed. I started to lose myself in my own mind and craziness until i hit the wall. It took me a while to learn to prioritize and by now when we have three kids, i can care less about an impeccably clean home. In addition, when i came to complete exhaustion and burn out it showed in mood swings, irritability and other health issues and my husband was very concerned. Thats when he started to problem solve his way. I WISH I ASKED HIM TO HELP ME THINK OF HOW TO SOLVE THESE ISSUES EARLIER without trying to do everything myself. We got a babysitter that would watch kids when needed, and we started going on dates with my husband and i started to get out of the house to give myself some peace and attention. All this slowly got me out of my crazy state of mind, all because i tried to do toooo much and keep up with "instagram" perfection so to speak.
It’s not just within marriage. The: if-you-see-something-you-just-fix-it-mentality, rather than having clear roles and responsibilities, NEVER works in any living arrangement😫 I live in a single-parent household with just me and my siblings. If you don’t assign and maintain having specific household responsibilities(chores) for each person, It eventually just results in no one doing anything(or no one doing anything until it's gotten so bad that you HAVE to do something). Because it's like, "oh, it’s not really my JOB to take care of it", so you’re fine with leaving it there and even possibly hoping that someone else will "see it and fix it" for you. And whenever you have a day were you simply don’t feel like it, you just decide not to do it that day bc it’s not actually your job to in the first place, so you can easily become lazy- and on top of that, nobody can hold you accountable because there are no set responsibilities, so anything that goes wrong is equally their fault as much as it is yours.
God's intent for us is to have a blessed life. If you look at all the women in the bible, you would see that they ALL had help. That piece of information included in the bible was not an oversight. It means that altho God has placed us in charge of these roles, he knows we need help. Now this help can come from your husband (and I agree, this should never be forced on him) or a cleaning person that he pays for ( because he doesn't enjoy or is indisposed to helping out). Honestly, I would question a man's true love for me if he wants to see me bear all the burden. And this apply to the me also. I truly love my husband and I agree that he is the head and provider of the house hold. Here and there he needs assistance or as I like to call it 'augumentation' I would always come through for him in this regard. I think roles are important, but should be open to customization depending on how it would work for each couple.
This couldn't have been said more better. Thank you
Now I agree with you up to a certain extent. It is true that the primary job of the woman is the household and the man’s role is to provide, for this is definitely biblical. However, in this current generation, that’s not the reality of the majority. Only 10 percent of working men are making at least six figures in their income, that means most women are likely to end up with men who make less than that. I am saying this because the truth is, not every married couple has the means to live off of the man’s income alone if there is more than two mouths to feed. Now these days it’s realistic for the average woman to help with the financial provision. Most married women work, and it’s generally a necessity because $50,000 dollars a year alone may not be enough to take care of a family of four. A lot of women have no choice but to take jobs to help their mate. If a woman is systematically obligated to be a co-provider, you don’t think that a man should help the woman with her load at home? Respectfully, I can understand as a housewife she should stick to her role to the tea, but most women don’t have the freedom to live that lifestyle. It is not maintainable for a woman to both work a job and take care of the home while a man works then relax when he gets home. You are right about our roles as men and woman are different, but I believe God meant for our work loads to be the same and not one working harder than the other. A couple is suppose to help each other and not leave the other hanging high and dry. I agree with what you said for those who are stay at home wives but not for most wives of the population because they too are working to pay bills along with their husbands.
Many families actually CAN afford the wife to stay at home even if there are children. It’s just that they don’t want to sacrifice a certain lifestyle for that. They don’t want to sacrifice the eating out, the movies, the shopping, the Starbucks, possibly becoming a one-car home, moving into a place with a lower mortgage, etc. You don’t need a six-figure income to make that happen.
There is always going to be a sacrifice to make in our lives, and these days most homes are willing to sacrifice the mental health of the woman and the wellbeing of the children in order to have more money to pay for things they really don’t need.
Of course, this is not taking into account extreme situations, because I realize that every situation is unique and sometimes the woman HAS to work (due to husband’s illness or death, for example). But my point is that, all things being equal, many women CAN be stay at home wives and mothers, it’s just that many families unconsciously decide that keeping up with the Joneses and letting the LGBTQ mafia raise their children is the preferred sacrifice.
50,000 is plenty for our family of 6. Lifestyle changes, frugal living, and change of where you live are sacrifices we can make to make it happen.
I so love your opinions, perspectives, advice and how it comes back to the Bible and how lead life on its instructions. Using wisdom and thr knowledge of the Bible and not the world to keep healthy marriage.
I am grateful that most of the time my husband is very compassionate when he gets home from work and asks, what can I do to help until dinner is done?. We have 4, 5 and under. Some days things run relatively smoothly and all I ask is he play with/interact with the kids. On the days that I feel like chicken little I’ll ask if he can help me catch up with the dishes or sweep the floor. On the days he doesn’t offer to help because he’s had an exhausting day (he has an extremely labor intensive job) I try to prioritize what absolutely has to get done before bedtime and what can be put on the back burner for the moment. I don’t demand or manipulate by leveraging sex or even time for him to decompress. If I need to hold off finishing folding the laundry or vacuuming until the next day so that we can spend time together after the kids are in bed then that is what I do. Getting your chores done should not be prioritized over your relationship with your husband. All that does is show him what you value more and it won’t be him.
Bindi! Another banger. ;)
No, I just can't make my husband get home from a day of hard work and still get home to more work when I get to stay home. Maybe it's the Mexican Catholic part of me that I don't want my husband to do anything in the home other than relax. Our home is our sanctuary and I got it! ❤ and yes, I'm always happy to take care of the marital debt. It's part of being both Mexican and Catholic, what my husband wants, my husband gets. I love my life! 💕
I wish I had a friend like you here. I like these video discussions though because I feel like I am sitting in the living talking with a good friend of mine. lol
I would be interested in your opinion on men helping with the care of children after they get home from work. I definitely don’t ask my husband to help with housework (other than outdoor type stuff that I’m not really able to do) but I do need help with the kids. This is mostly when they are little, right now I have 4 kids and the two youngest are 2yrs and 2 months, I’m just not able to say, clean up after dinner or get baths and all that on my own right now and need his help ( I also want to say I homeschool the two older kids 7yrs and 9 yrs) so my days are pretty full and I try to manage my time best I can. Is it ok to expect him to help with bed times and holding the baby while I clean up after dinner or get the toddler to bed etc? I feel he is reluctant and just wants to relax ( he does work a physically difficult job and I would like him to be able to do this, but it honestly is just almost not possible in this season of life). What are your thoughts on husband helping with kids when they are home from work with large families? Should I not be asking?
See that's the problem with generalizing and making women feel as though we should not "expect" any help from our husband's. Those children are his just as much as they are yours. It is absolutely okay to ask your HUSBAND to hold and bathe his own CHILDREN!!! Being a husband and FATHER goes way deeper than just working to provide financially. Your husband may want to chill and lounge after work, which is understandable and I think he should be allowed some time to do that. But to turn a blind eye at seeing you struggle with young babies isn't Christ-like at all. I am in the same situation with my husband .
I think it's seasonal. There are times during your marriage when you need "all hands on deck" and one of those times is when you have small children. Yes, the wife is charge of the home and the husband the provider but I see nothing wrong with lovingly helping each other as needed despite the rightly designated roles.
@@monicajackson5869 this is how I feel too. She seems to not leave room for the husband to help with housework at all… as if provision doesn’t include emotional and mental provision for his wife and as if the Bible doesn’t call the husband to give himself up for his wife…. That goes beyond financial.
I would encourage your husband to find things HE likes to do with the kids to help you & build memories with them. My husband was really into getting everyone crazy right before bed - I'm talking whole house pillow fights, running up & down stairs, hide & seek with the lights off, blankets being dragged everywhere, screaming, etc.. it used to drive me crazy, because I would be tired & want them IN BEd. But then after conversation with him I learned that when he was a kid they were sent to their rooms at 7 pm because their dad was a raging alcoholic, He never got to play when he was kid. he had to be silent. it was important to HIM to let his kids be kids. Plus, he worked nights all week & missed bedtimes. So we made a deal. He could get them as crazy as he wanted, but HE was going to get them to bed on those nights & pick up all the 'stuff' that made the mess. This actually worked out great for me, because 2 nights out of the week he handled bedtime & I would finish up cleaning the kitchen in (relative) peace or go read/relax. My hubby had a demanding blue collar job, and he watched our daughter for the first year of her life because we both had to work. ( and holding a baby should be relaxing. It is HIS child. ) He worked nights & worked days & that way we didn't have to hire a sitter for long hours. i homeschool, too, & I look at that as 'working' a profession all day. It takes everyone chipping in, even the kids. I think it is how you ask (tone) and then you have to let the person do it THEIR way with out micromanaging.
I think a lot of this discussion often lacks nuance. And I'm glad you mentioned that different seasons of life require different things. I have had to deprioritize things that were not utterly essential (especially being very sick with both my pregnancies) in order to make time for my husband. And my husband has had to give me grace for those things. And my husband is very attractive and I feel like I'm being deprived of one of the joys of my life and being married if we cannot indulge.
Love this, absolutely the law of priority.
First God, then marriage, then children, home, church, extended family and friends, hobbies and interests, etc.
Organizing those in a way that NEEDS are met sufficiently.
This is blessing from above, please kept sharing we need to hear truth. It may feel uncomfortable, but need. The world is lying to us, God word is always truth.
Your nails are lovely and they compliment your slender fingers beautifully along with the thin jewelry. ♥
Thank you so much, which Christian denomination are you and is it possible to attend your church virtually?
Thank you Bindi!
Also when your kids are old enough have them help out with household duties. It will build their confidence and prepare them for adulthood. Love your video! ❤️
YES!!! A couple years ago I was talking to my husband, venting about how tired I was constantly and how I felt like I couldn't keep up with even the simplest things. He asked me, "why don't you have the kids do some of those things?" and it was like a lightbulb went on in my brain. I was so used to doing every little thing around the house that it never even occurred to me to give my children specific jobs too. They'd help out if I asked, but they didn't have regular responsibilities and they were absolutely old enough for them. Since then I've knocked cleaning their bathroom, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping the entryway and dishes off my list and they all have 1-2 daily chores. Just taking those items off my to do list has made a HUGE difference in how well I'm able to handle everything else. I felt so silly when he asked me that, but I'm so glad I took my issues to my husband instead of just hanging onto it and letting it grow into bitterness!
@@beckyschauer7650 horrible mother pushing your duties on the children. Disgusting.
Love your content, Bindi. I wish I had found you and your videos prior to getting divorced around 4 years ago. Forgive me if I did not pick up on this, but do you mention anywhere about how these roles should be fulfilled if both the husband and wife need to work a full-time job in order to make ends meet??? My ex-husband and myself had a very poor sex life towards the end of our marriage and it definitely contributed to his infidelity. I remember always feeling resentful towards him because I would work around 10 hours a day and come home to a house that was chaotic and never receive any help on his end. Even on days where he was not working he would refuse to do any laundry or even wash a dish. Then he would become resentful of me for not wanting to have sex with him, but a lot of my disinterest was due to feeling largely disrespected by him for this reason. There were a few times where I had mentioned hiring someone to help me clean the home but he was much too cheap to agree to pay for something that *I* should be handling. I did not have the privilege of staying home, the bills would have never been paid.
Thoughts, ladies? Honesty please!
This was great, thank you.
When I heard the husbands request for her to become more organized with her time… I thought, “why isn’t that option on the table?”
I think it would hurt my pride for sure but if that is what will help us both be happy and fulfilled then so be it. And if you ask what needs to be dropped so I can fulfill the essential elements of my marriage then …bye bye 👋 I think the complementary marriage structure end up winning long term I can imagine less bitterness once both people have accepted their roles.
My husband and I had a discussion about this literally the other day. I told him it does not matter how upset we are or if we are in conflict that I would never with hold sex from him.
I've learned with most things in life, part of the battle is your perspective. If you look at having sex or intimacy with your husband as a chore, if course it will not be pleasurable. Sex is a gift from God and it bonds you spiritually. Do it and make it a piority. In fact make sex with mutal orgasm a focus point in the marriage...it's necessary!
Bindi Marc, like always I loved your commentary!
Perspective is important, it’s also important to recognize that if you have a headache and you’re falling asleep already because baby kept you up all night and hubby won’t help you, you can say no, and God is not shaming you for that. Even if other women will 🙂
@@regandanielle I agree, I don't think God is shaming you for being exhausted and not up to it at that given moment, but that also shouldn't be a daily justification either. Balance, pioritzing and managing are crucial skills.
Yes, I have those skills and things are different now that my children are not newborns. I just firmly believe that we need to be very careful what kind of message we are sending women.
@@regandanielle what part of the message makes you uncomfortable? This message isn't for every woman.
It's a shame that this point of view isn't or doesn't seem to be pronounced as much. You hear so much more about "denying your husband sex".
Love this! Preparing to be a good wife and mother one day!
I love all tour videos but I love this one. Just this week alone I've had had 2 of my friends refuse sex from their husbands..... Excellent stream!
I didn't get that they were breaking down distinction..but I haven't read the book
Thank you so much for this wisdom. 1 Cor. 7:1-9 is real. No one in marriage should be burning...lacking sex. Amen sister!
I am super glad you are reviewing this book. A lot of it is just not biblical. I've been pushing back online on this book and women hate me for it and are wolfing the book down hook line and sinker. There are lots of people who believe all this egalitarian stuff.
Girl, yes! And look at you booming! Love to see it, lol.
I have a practical question. This is something I'm trying to understand and would take an advice on. How to deal with major house repairs? Like if the roof leaks or electrical wiring is malfunctioning, or plumbing needs repair or replacement? Especially if there is no budget to hire anyone. Is that wife's work?
Can you please do a video about advice regarding marriage(childless at the time) and both man and woman are working.... When you come home from work how is the house work divyed up? I think that it is the woman's responsibility to care for the home when it comes to children or being a homemaker with or without children. But if you're both working and kids aren't a part of the equation yet, how do you maintain a biblical expectation of roles in the marriage and home?
I don't usually interact with the comments but I have to say not many can accept and understand how God really ordained marriage to be. That's what the Bible says. And I am with you in this. You are a good example to housewives ❤️💪 May God guide you and your marriage.
Sincere question- what about because of the cost of things, the wife has to work outside of the home for a season, or work additionally. Would this still apply since now she’s taking on a provider role? Not a question for me but just curious.
What about when the women has to work full time along with the husband in order to make ends meet? Even with very modest living standards, cost of living is so high that many families need both incomes. Advice?
Thanks Bindi for your analysis. I am curious however on your opinion on working wives. Not all wives are able to be home makers due to varipous reasons including limited finances. An option that comes to mind is setting aside a budget to get help when it comes to chores and looking after the kids. I know it can be expensive but if you're strategic about it, you could make it work. I do agree with you, unclear roles in a marriage do set us up for confusion and resentment. Sadly not a lot of men want to (or are able to) provide for their families on their own which leads to the woman having to carry the load of working and the load of the home.
In the story you read, I do wish the husband was more compassionate to his wife. Sex is important, yes, and we do know our roles in the marriage but I do think we should be willing to give each other grace when it's required. We should lovingly discuss these things together and come to an agreed solution. My thoughts 💛.
In her defense though….her content is more geared towards traditional gender roles and family dynamic where the woman stays home and the man works. So its definitely helpful for women who are in this lifestyle or who desire it.
I like this
What about women who work? What would the suggestion be there?
You are such a gift!
Thanks!
“He just wanted to be able to eat food without dog hair in his mouth” - now that was classic!!
Thank you!
Shaving stuff off your list. I feel like I'm killing myself to keep everything perfect, yet failing at it all. I have 4 kids 6 and under, and I do need to shave off the stuff that isn't necessary. We have a good set life, but I'm definitely not enjoying the day to day like i want to. Thanks for this.
C'mon Bindi! Tell it!
I deeply appreciate your content as a soon to be married Christian woman , I wanted to also say that it dumbfounds me that there’s an audience of some Christian married women who begrudgingly resents having sex with their husbands . Like this shouldn’t be such a punishment and is designed by God to be a legitimate renewal of vows and be pleasurable . I think that taking it so far as to create ways to build resentment in that is selfish and prideful , I believe that it is a gift for both married persons to commit to their roles and the act of sex on their spouse and it should be appreciated
As they say, the devil is crafty- when we're single he tries to get us to have as much sex as possible... then once we're married he tries to get us sex as little as possible. ☹
Good advice here.
You are such a good, Godley adviser for woman. Thank you for this video. I think this is an excellent solution to a very common issue in marriages today. I'm not married yet, but this is exactly what I will do if things become "too much". May God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.
@BINDI, I think you not only need to read your Bible more but look into context. When you read 1 Corinthians 7:5, or any verse in that matter, context is crucial! When Paul mentioned that verse he was speaking to the church of Corinth. He was speaking to them because one of the issues they were having in this church was celibacy in the church. The church of Corinth believed that one should be celibate even in marriage. The big problem is when people (including you) take a verse(s)and generalize verse(s) when it pertains to a certain person or certain group of people. That text does not apply to us. Most churches, or if any at all, don’t have a movement going on where you are to be celibate even after marriage.
You should not get out of 1 Corinthians 7:5 that we cannot say no to our husbands if they want sex. When you get married you conjugal right. Now those rights are different to Jews but two of those rights are to be considerate of each other needs and you have the right to say no.
Overall a spouse should not deny the other spouse sex. I believe marriage is something of a sex contract. We vow to forsake all others and God put this person in our life to help deal with those biological urges (and lessen temptation). Obviously there are exceptions that arise which I usually hear when I say something like that. That’s why I say “overall”.
There are seasons in which sex can’t happen - illness, postpartum, etc. i do believe that the spouse that is not able to should make attempts to either satisfy in other ways or seek help from a professional to show their spouse that it is important to them (like if depression has killed your libido, talk to a doctor about it).
Unfortunately abusive men and women are clumped together with those that are not even close to abusive. There should absolutely be a distinction. If I have a reasonable reason to not have sex my husband doesn’t berate me or force me to. Him having an expectation, however, that eventually we will have sex is not abuse. It seems as though most of the conversations/arguments for egalitarianism tend to fall back on “but men are abusive and will take advantage of this”.
The other thing that comes to mind is that instead of celebrating sex and time with our spouse, it is framed as another chore. I don’t “have” to have sex with my husband. I GET to. Many times women (both sexes really) put the priority on everything else instead of getting to serve their husband in this way that no one else can. If a person is constantly overwhelmed and too tired or burned out then then something needs to be addressed in their life.
When either party is not able to have sex for the reasons you mentiobed then the Bible says that the couple can discuss and agree on a period of abstinence for a certain amount of time. Obviously long term illness will need a different type of discussion.
Enjoyed the video! Good looking out for our sisters in Christ. There really are some good sounding reasons that'll cause us to question what we know we read in our bibles. God's thoughts and ways are higher than ours. Choose the Bible over the words of well spoken people. 🙏🏾
Could you do a video with a Bible study about the verses that provision is on the back of the man?