Issa's Detransitioning- 4 1/2 Month Update!

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  • Опубликовано: 11 июн 2021
  • I am currently 4 1/2 months off of Testosterone.
    I was on Testosterone from May 2015 - January 2021.
    Here is my update on how I'm feeling and some questions addressed about my body and how I view myself at the moment. This could all change in the future, but I am trying to express my feelings as best as I can.
    This is my journey, it should not be compared or used to generalize such a complex experience.
    Follow me on:
    Tiktok @aliaxismail
    Insta @aliaxismail
    My transition was documented at AYearInTransition.com.

Комментарии • 382

  • @katherinelauer4064
    @katherinelauer4064 3 года назад +152

    Thank you for telling your story. It’s going to help a lot of people. I was on testosterone for 4.5 years and detransitioned. now I am married with two step sons and 12 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I am very happy now

    • @leahhart3585
      @leahhart3585 3 года назад +5

      So happy to hear you are doing good.

    • @katerineella274
      @katerineella274 3 года назад +11

      So wanting to be a man was just a phase? I'm not trolling, just trying to understand. This is confusing for people who've not had these issues. You've had your breasts amputated?

    • @nicolai6161
      @nicolai6161 3 года назад +3

      Great story katherine

    • @janinedaniell1967
      @janinedaniell1967 3 года назад

      She is gonna help sweet fuck all, cos she still won't admit she was wrong!!!!

    • @carriesing
      @carriesing 2 года назад +3

      Congratulations! Life changes us if we are willing to grow.

  • @pearlpearl3806
    @pearlpearl3806 3 года назад +191

    We didn’t make up male/female we made up a lot of gender stereotypes. I’m female and don’t do my eyebrows, nails, don’t wear wigs (over my afro hair), get some chin and chest hairs, don’t shave my legs but I feel feminine af because that’s what I am. 😂 Gender stereotypes are stupid, ppl should just accept themselves for who they are

    • @debbie991
      @debbie991 3 года назад +4

      Amen my friend xo

    • @melissaf5262
      @melissaf5262 3 года назад +14

      Not only this, but gender stereotypes are so personal to given communities, places and time! It's hard because communities with firm identities will do a lot to reenforce and more firmly define their identitiy. There can be a lot of pressure to conform to the community at times vs. finding acceptance for variations and deviations. With something as personal as this, I can see it could be really hard to turn away from that community and support and jumping fully into yourself.

    • @jessicalubien5424
      @jessicalubien5424 3 года назад +4

      So true! I don't shave my pits all winter. I do in the summer only because it is so outrageous to so many if I don't. My oldest son would literally have a heart attack. Lol!

    • @Bakerygo
      @Bakerygo 3 года назад +20

      I think that if people were allowed to wear whatever they want and do whatever they want, we would have much less transgender people going through heavy and risky permanent alterations. Surgeries and hormones are no joke. They can be very dangerous and taxing on someone's health. If they want the hormones that's fine, but they should not feel that they must have certain physical features in order to qualify as a man or a woman.

    • @andreaberryman5354
      @andreaberryman5354 3 года назад +6

      I HATE being in a society that thinks I'm disgusting unless I shave 3/4 ths my body. So now that I'm 44 I don't. Unless I wear shorts-I MIGHT. Haha!

  • @NJ-rm5vs
    @NJ-rm5vs 3 года назад +168

    I’m Middle Eastern and detrans too, really cool to see someone of similar background going thru the same thing x

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +14

      that’s amazing!

    • @nicolai6161
      @nicolai6161 3 года назад +4

      I picked that up too .. I wonder if there’s a connection culturally to transitioning ..

    • @andreaberryman5354
      @andreaberryman5354 3 года назад +1

      Congrats! Yaaaay!🤗💗

    • @4y4z84
      @4y4z84 2 года назад +2

      i'm middle eastern and detrans too omg

    • @NJ-rm5vs
      @NJ-rm5vs 2 года назад +3

      @@4y4z84 woah nice ! we have a whole squad ahaha

  • @FreedomFox1
    @FreedomFox1 3 года назад +81

    Hormones are powerful and potentially therapeutic, even for people who don’t want to change their gender. I lived as a guy with low testosterone until I got it treated at 35. It caused me anxiety, depression, low muscle mass, osteoporosis and even a mild heart condition (which resolved entirely after I started testosterone injections). Testosterone therapy even helped my fibromyalgia. A woman friend of mine takes low dose testosterone, experiencing very much the same benefits. She doesn’t experience any virilization… if anything, she looks even more feminine.

    • @katietye3673
      @katietye3673 3 года назад +12

      My mom had to take low dose testosterone due to a hormone imbalance that came with tumors in her uterus. It helped her out a lot and balanced everything back out. She didn’t change any in appearance or anything.
      Ps I’m glad you’re doing great now! ❤️

    • @Bakerygo
      @Bakerygo 3 года назад +7

      I'm on mild testosterone blockers (woman) in order to treat alopecia.

    • @salvolondon
      @salvolondon 3 года назад +5

      @@Bakerygo sometimes it’s used To treat acne in women

    • @stevejackson9090
      @stevejackson9090 2 года назад +7

      @@Bakerygo I'm a man with very high testosterone and it's definitely a cause of hair loss in males and females. In males it can also cause aggressiveness...in my case being short tempered...which I hate. I don't try to fight anyone, but I find that I have short patience with things and people and have to walk away...it's a horrible feeling..and I hate the way it makes me appear to people.

    • @BigMamou367
      @BigMamou367 2 года назад

      My Brother in low had really low testerone. After he got it all straightened out he felt like a new person. I didn't know having it low causes osteoporsis. Something I got at a young age. I'm glad it helped your fibro. I think getting old help with that lol.

  • @tommyvohs8815
    @tommyvohs8815 Год назад +6

    Sounds like quite a journey and I’m glad that you’re feeling more comfortable. It’s quite freeing to be yourself for your own reasons and rules. I’m 56 and butch. It wasn’t easy to live my life but I did it no matter what others said or did. Living your authentic self is rewarding on so many levels. Good luck!

  • @Ethentent
    @Ethentent 3 года назад +9

    I love how you got right into it and were so open and honest about your experience

  • @uwpride
    @uwpride 3 года назад +13

    This is all so fascinating to me. Thank you for being open and sharing. Good luck on the rest of your journey ❤️

  • @_Sublime_
    @_Sublime_ 3 года назад +37

    There are a lots of cis ladies with deep voices. They are still women. There are a lots of breast cancer survivors who have had total breast removal and they are still women. There are lots of tomboy women who do not conform to stereotypical women norms and are still women. Embrace your whole self as God created you, all the things that make you YOU are beautiful and very much part of being a woman. You don't have remove your masculine traits to be fully a woman. Embrace all the things that make you a beautiful woman inside and out. Women come in all shapes and sizes, all kinds of different choices, and can be all those things without having to second guess their womanhood. You are you, beautiful in all the the things that make you YOU.

  • @christmadoyan94
    @christmadoyan94 3 года назад +19

    Issa, you look so beautiful! Praying for you on this hard journey

  • @erinerinerinOOO
    @erinerinerinOOO 3 года назад +2

    Thank you for putting your story out there! It’s so important that we hear everyone’s experiences! Your courage is admirable, and you will find inner peace and self love, just keep listening to yourself.

  • @michaelaf8698
    @michaelaf8698 3 года назад +34

    Your hair looks great. I appreciate that you aren’t expressing a broad and overarching general opinion about other peoples’ transitions. You’re very real. Thank you for your vulnerability

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +8

      Thank you so much! Yeah, everyone human is so different and unique. Exploring who you are in any way is a beautiful thing!

  • @amelialaboda
    @amelialaboda 3 года назад +1

    thank you so much for sharing this!! i really appreciate how thoughtful and well-spoken you are about your journey, and i'm wishing you all the best

  • @AllieHarold
    @AllieHarold 3 года назад +3

    Everything you said in this was so well said. I feel like I gained such a new perspective on this topic as a whole

  • @themudpit621
    @themudpit621 3 года назад +110

    It's perplexing to someone like me from the eighties, where we had punk and androgyny was the norm and feminism really mattered, that people growing up now think they need to conform to gender norms. Where did all the progress go?

    • @bread2246
      @bread2246 3 года назад +18

      Maybe there wasn’t nearly as progress as you thirst there was . Maybe it was only like there within your environment.

    • @Eggscargot
      @Eggscargot 3 года назад +17

      Trans people broadly actually aren’t conforming to gender norms, and that’s certainly not the motivation for the majority of transitioners. Anecdotally, I see proportionately many more gender non-conforming trans people than cis people.

    • @valentinafangirling
      @valentinafangirling 3 года назад +16

      @@Eggscargot agree. The idea that gender is a spectrum and people don’t have to settle for it is a lot more of a mainstream idea than it was before. Detransitioning happens, but it doesn’t mean that’s a reason to invalidate does who do transition. Is not less progress.

    • @patriciaoudart1508
      @patriciaoudart1508 3 года назад

      conforms to sexuation identity reality mostly

    • @patriciaoudart1508
      @patriciaoudart1508 3 года назад +4

      as 99% of people are normal, norms are made of this.

  • @KR-xo8yd
    @KR-xo8yd 3 года назад +9

    thank you, thank you for sharing this. everything you say has been something i’ve been thinking for so long. ever since i’ve had to label myself for society, i’ve been living with constant anxiety and depression. specially because these might be topics that could offend, or challenge other people that do feel more safe and comfortable in those labels, which i completely completely understand. two of my closest friends are nb and trans. i know that i have to identify myself as cis, to raise more awareness to the challenges that trans people go through. there have been several times where i’ve tried to explain to them about how i feel about myself. about how society has decided to see me and regard me, and based on my upbringing (i had always been more inclined to ‘masculine’ things as i was growing up, have struggled with gender dysphoria my whole life, and i know that fit into the nonbinary umbrella) but that also doesn’t feel right for me either. because i am just me, but because i am female assigned at birth and my gender identity (to me) matches my sex assigned at birth, i am ‘cis’ and that’s how i should identify myself as and that’s how others in queer spaces will perceive me. and that just feels off to me as well. it feels off when i state my pronouns because i know i am going to be put into that label, but i also don’t want to use the nonbinary term, because i am just me who likes certain things and dress in a way that is more masculine presenting, because i simply have always been more comfortable like that. of course i would never impose how i feel to anyone who feels different, and i hope this doesn’t come like that at all. but i am just such an insecure, anxiety filled person that i avoid talking about how i am feeling because i fear i will trigger someone or invalidate someone and thats the least i want. i am just so so thankful that i found your video, because i feel so understood by you. and it brings me so much comfort. a soul in a body. i know i need walk the path of self acceptance because i cannot change society and thats okay because in the end we, ourselves, are what matter, and that i need to raise awareness and an ally the best i can. sometimes its just a bit hard. once again thank you for this video, you are beautiful.

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +3

      Thank you for such a thoughtful message! I’m glad my video gave you some comfort. It gets easier when you just accept everything for what it is and just remember how you feel and that’s the only thing that’s important. If you know who you are it doesn’t matter what people think. I’m glad you’re exploring different ideas of what it means to be you! Good luck ❤️

  • @grace83996
    @grace83996 3 года назад +1

    You're an incredible human and I so appreciated this conversation. I totally relate to so much of this
    Thankyou thankyou and I'm here cheering you on on this journey!!! X

  • @jenmostoller278
    @jenmostoller278 3 года назад

    I wish you happiness and comfort on your journey to feeling like yourself! I feel like your expression is beautiful and something tells me that everything will fall into place for you in a peace filled way!💕

  • @alexbruce7984
    @alexbruce7984 3 года назад +10

    As someone who struggles with gender dysphoria myself I feel trying to fit labels exactly can be way more damaging for some. Be true to yourself it's your body and your life. Do what makes you feel comfortable living in your own skin. If a certain label helps you and it helps you then that's awesome. If fitting a label gives you anxiety and causes extra stress dont worry about fitting labels. Be true to your inner true self. Do whatever you need to to feel at home in your own skin. If we cant feel comfortable with who we are and how we look how can we expect others to be comfortable with who we are. Dont let others dictate what is "right" for you be true to yourself.

  • @silkworm9691
    @silkworm9691 2 года назад +2

    I take estrogen but wear pretty masc clothing. Having a male body really upset me. I tried to make peace with it and I couldn’t and that’s why I chose to Transition with hormones. Some people can transition without hormones which is cool too but I couldn’t and I believe my decision came from my heart and it gives me real joy. I tried detrantioning and it was the worst mistake of my life.

  • @burgerwithcurlyfries
    @burgerwithcurlyfries 2 года назад

    Hits so close to home, exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much for your videos. They're so important.

  • @emmahilditch6708
    @emmahilditch6708 3 года назад +3

    It's amazing how hormones can completely alter the way you look and feel. I'm glad you feel happy and content the way you are currently. Also I really love your hair it's beautiful 🥰

  • @lifeandhomewithmeredith9050
    @lifeandhomewithmeredith9050 3 года назад +1

    I think anyone who makes a video on detrans is a hero. To be open enough and brave enough so that others can be helped by this. Much Love

  • @speechy_keen4878
    @speechy_keen4878 3 года назад +1

    Just looked back on your previous videos and wow, the change has happened quick! Blessings to you on your journey!

  • @haleymarie910
    @haleymarie910 3 года назад +26

    Thank you for your story! as a non-binary identifying person, I have struggled with understanding the difference between how im 'expected' to look/act vs how i'm comfortable. I have to ask myself to explain why something makes me uncomfortable all the time to make sure my intentions are coming from my own self and not what others expect of me or a fear that people wont understand me. I also would love to hear more about how you feel about your chest as time goes. I have my own struggles with mine and would love to hear from someone who enjoys feminine presentation who has gone through top surgery.
    Thank you for being so open! Can't wait to hear more about your journey!

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +2

      Yes practicing asking those questions is super important. We are constantly influenced by what’s around us so checking in is a must! Glad you feel comfortable in yourself ❤️

  • @jadeecarroll
    @jadeecarroll 3 года назад +2

    Living your life peacefully is the best thing you can do 💕❤️ proud of you babe 🙏🏼💋

  • @sallyannbarrington1392
    @sallyannbarrington1392 3 года назад +12

    I happened to across your video, coming from a totally heterosexual happy female with a life long male partner - I found your video so beautiful and honestly refreshing. I pray you continue to feel so positive and joyful x

  • @rozchristopherson648
    @rozchristopherson648 3 года назад +18

    You have movie star looks and a lot of courage. Blessing to you.

  • @livics610
    @livics610 3 года назад

    Love your openness! All the best in what you choose! ❤️
    Totally agree with words that we "should" subscribe to. Like it should be the other way around: we invented the alphabet and words for understanding reality around, but a word is a convention and its definition can be extended; or even more words to be updated or not even needing explination.
    For me it's not confusion, but liberating and beautiful, thanks for this! Rooting for doing whatever you want, Issa! ❤️

  • @roadkillfairy4789
    @roadkillfairy4789 2 года назад +2

    this is so beautiful

  • @paf2587
    @paf2587 3 года назад +12

    The body is a wonderfully resilient thing. I love that the human body is intelligent.

  • @KussDamato
    @KussDamato 3 года назад +4

    I wish you peace with whatever road you go down!

  • @jensnow3363
    @jensnow3363 2 года назад

    I'm so happy for you. Your video came up and I saw I was subscribed to your channel, although I had no idea who you were, I had to look back at your earlier videos to find out and couldn't believe that it is you. You're looking so healthy and like a totally different person.

  • @JuleeFreshh
    @JuleeFreshh 3 года назад

    This video has been so informative for me. Very much appreciate sharing yourself and journey to the world. 💛

  • @violetstameski664
    @violetstameski664 3 года назад +9

    All I can say is OMG and WOW! You are BEAUTIFUL!

  • @thechurneys
    @thechurneys 3 года назад +1

    You’re a lovely young women - bless you as you walk through this. ❤️

  • @IslandMarigold
    @IslandMarigold 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and experience. I hope only the best for you and your future.

  • @jrrose6689
    @jrrose6689 3 года назад +92

    "I feel like a soul in a body", I realate to that so much. I don't really feel like I connect with the label man, woman, non-binary or any other label for that matter. I'm just kind of here. It's such an odd feeling to describe

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +14

      yes! it is kinda hard to explain and it makes life feel a little different as well.

    • @grandmastersreaction1267
      @grandmastersreaction1267 3 года назад +3

      It’s called alienation.

    • @marcyssnow4018
      @marcyssnow4018 3 года назад +7

      @@grandmastersreaction1267 it's rather kind of dissociation

    • @themudpit621
      @themudpit621 3 года назад +9

      I thought that's how everyone felt, really. It isn't?

    • @bread2246
      @bread2246 3 года назад +12

      It’s is most people just feel not like a gender just a person. I have asked and talked to many cis people and most of them agree with that statement.

  • @lisaanderson135
    @lisaanderson135 3 года назад

    I admire you for putting your journey out there! You are also extremely brave as well! I am sure there have been some nasty remarks, but you seem to be unfazed by it. I am sure that you have helped a lot of people going through the same process! Labels shouldn’t be what defines us as human beings. I think the world is becoming more accepting and tolerant, but we have a long way to go. My step daughter who is 16 has a couple friends who are in the process of transitioning. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be. My husband and I are both in our early 40’s and have never really thought about the topic in a negative way. We believe everyone should be happy, especially in their own body! I don’t understand people who judge! I unfortunately had a friend who committed suicide because nobody was supportive or treated her like a *freak (not my word). I want you to know that I, and many other people, are here for support 😊

  • @riverwood5415
    @riverwood5415 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much Issa for sharing. I'm really happy for you. You are a wonderful and gorgeous human

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +1

      Thank you so much for the kind comment and support ❤️

  • @JassiJo
    @JassiJo 3 года назад

    I love this conversation you are having. I agree we are humans that don't seem to value that simple concept in itself. Acceptance for who we are doesn't come from anyone outside valuing our existence but from within. "Acceptance is the key to understanding," A.A. How we judge others is how we are judging and the standards we hold ourselves first.

  • @mariahjane7969
    @mariahjane7969 3 года назад

    You are beautiful don't change your body anymore. You are perfect as you are.
    Life is an experience that's all. As I've got older what I've learned is being myself is beautiful no matter what anybody else thinks. Nobody has to live my life but me so I live the way that makes my soul happy and content.

  • @kathleencollier5277
    @kathleencollier5277 3 года назад +6

    Off the top of my head…. You’re incredibly gorgeous! Just be the you you are…. Be kind, be open, be just and accept that it’s ok to accept that you’re beautiful. Good genes. Ya da! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍

  • @ken.dietitian
    @ken.dietitian 3 года назад

    So have so much insight throughout this process. Love that you have so many positive takeaways in your journey. :)

  • @DieYuppiieSkum
    @DieYuppiieSkum 3 года назад +3

    While we can always follow other detransitioners doing their updates of their status, most of us can be patient with you releasing another video in 3 or 4 months. Your work's important, as well as doing other videos on your other social media sites. Still, you're doing a great job updating your status on your detransition journey. 😉👍🏿

  • @Shawn-tc9iv
    @Shawn-tc9iv 3 года назад +6

    Thank you for sharing! You speak alot of truth. I'm also a detransitioner and I can relate 😊

  • @deezee2965
    @deezee2965 3 года назад +1

    "Labels" are the end of many possibilities to debate. Whether we like them or not it's going to put people in a certain mindset the instant they ear it.
    Thanks for sharing your experience. It sure can help young people wondering about themselves in these axious times.

  • @ayl6999
    @ayl6999 3 года назад +1

    everything abt u is beautiful issa!! ty for sharing yr journey, as a nby person i love watching yr vids :^) wishing u the best!! ♥️

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +1

      thank you so much for the support ❤️

  • @divestedkonservativekarame4269
    @divestedkonservativekarame4269 3 года назад +5

    hey wanted to drop in and tell you you look stunning amazing your transformation was quick good for you girl! You're drop dead gorgeous!

    • @teijaflink2226
      @teijaflink2226 3 года назад

      I'm shocked att the chance in only 2-3 months, she looks amazing (looked amazing before too just different), so happy for her whatever her path in life will be.

  • @onajourneylife2242
    @onajourneylife2242 3 года назад

    Praying for you. This was a very thoughtful video!

  • @choschiba
    @choschiba 3 года назад +2

    You look really great. I think you can live and feel both feminine and masculine without deciding to strictly follow the one or other path. There are many aspects in life where you might want to act and feel more feminine and in some more masculine. Thank you so much for documenting your journey. It will help a lot of people.

  • @sukindiamuzik
    @sukindiamuzik 3 года назад

    issa! yes 100% iso agree with everything youve said. these days i just feel human. like an earthling no more no less and it feels great!

  • @aviwike5242
    @aviwike5242 3 года назад +4

    You look great 😍 I found you on tiktok & I just love you lol. You’re so brave & inspiring ❤️

  • @levoefje
    @levoefje 3 года назад

    Oh my goodness, I relate *so* much to you! You look fantastic and you really radiate this comforting feeling; it's beautiful to see. You're a wonderful human!
    I myself am going through some kind of detransition (I'm unsure how to call it? I'm not becoming a woman again so idk), and I feel so grateful I've been able to experience life as a "male, like you described. I really now feel more in-between or genderfluid; gender isn't so important to me anymore.
    I got a hysto + ovarectomy, so I have to go on synthetic estrogen unfortunately. I'm really excited to look like how I used to again, though now with some facial hair (which in boy-mode as I'd like to call it is just enough to pass!) Also, happy to never have periods again :D
    This video resonated so much with me. Thank you so much.

  • @keishakiger8541
    @keishakiger8541 2 года назад

    Wow I want a lot from this! About excepting yourself and you in the world as a place to show up in and just experience life and not put labels on yourself and you are very well spoken and explain things very well

  • @beccajoy5445
    @beccajoy5445 3 года назад

    My voice is just as deep as yours from smoking for years. You’re beautiful!

  • @valdez3245
    @valdez3245 3 года назад +8

    You’re a very beautiful woman. That’s all I have to say, and I wish you well. I wish you Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken.

  • @mememo3764
    @mememo3764 3 года назад +1

    Wow you look so great. Accepting yourself is life changing.

  • @danielsharpe7138
    @danielsharpe7138 3 года назад +7

    thank you for your story, i can relate. love your feelings on gender, good luck

  • @BiancaM25
    @BiancaM25 3 года назад +2

    Thanks for sharing your story, is helping others to know that detransition is a option too and is ok. Wish you the best :-)

  • @arilie777
    @arilie777 3 года назад +18

    wow you are literally so gorgeous, I wish you all the best in the world🤍🤍

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +3

      that’s so sweet to say thank you 😊

  • @christinamock7264
    @christinamock7264 3 года назад

    Holy moly I watched the first video and you have changed so much.

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад

      Being off hormones for longer and extensions, biotin, vitamins and laser hair removal have been helping! also getting better with makeup haha

  • @dshawty92
    @dshawty92 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey! ♥️♥️♥️

  • @curlycoo50
    @curlycoo50 3 года назад

    Looking forward to following your journey 🤍

  • @heyborttheeditor1608
    @heyborttheeditor1608 3 года назад +15

    This is a pretty incredible life experience you’ve had. I would love to hear about how all these difference experiences compared!

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +2

      Thanks! In what ways specifically would you like me to talk about them?

  • @aeonically
    @aeonically 3 года назад

    Wow you can really see a difference! You look great ♥️

  • @annak4891
    @annak4891 3 года назад

    You look amazing! 5 min later I saw Your previous video and I can't believe that You changed so much. I hope You are ok and continue to feel good about yourself. In Poland we started to promote solutions such as transition to gender dysphoria and I'm so upset that no one is trying to show that sometime it is not a good idea. Unfortunately our government is trying to hide the problem, there is no debate. Leftist leaders are spreading only good info about transitions, the other side on the other hand is not even trying to explain what consequences this decision could have. Thank You for sharing your story.

  • @coyotej4895
    @coyotej4895 2 года назад

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Bless and be well and know that your not alone. There are thousands of us learning to love our selves despite a social disorder that is trying to make ever one hate the opposite sex. They are the really weird ones now How messed up is that.

    • @Catlily5
      @Catlily5 Год назад

      Not that simple.

  • @user-xm1od9nb1m
    @user-xm1od9nb1m 2 года назад

    Thanks for sharing. As a feminist cis female that have always questioned gender rolls and been very secure with my sex and gender I think it’s very interesting to hear people who are trans/had a ”trans experience” speaking on these topics

  • @alheno5423
    @alheno5423 2 года назад

    Omg there was an ad literally every 1-2 minutes! Is RUclips trying to Sabotage you?! Also, I am so glad you have gotten to this place beyond “identity”… it’s just another box

  • @girlboigirl8220
    @girlboigirl8220 3 года назад +2

    Hey 😊
    I'm a half Middle Eastern ftmtf detrans as well. I was having laser hair removal before Covid, then it closed and I was really sad about it, so my mum got me this home IPL kit called Braun silk expert pro and it literally worked better than the professional, I was so shocked. I would 100% recommend it to anyone who can use it (I think it can't be used by certain skin and hair types). It's saving a lot of money. There are also really good places on Groupon if you prefer professional. My professional laser was only £80 for 6 sessions (full face and neck) because of Groupon. It's super good for laser for some reason. I look for a place with an up to date machine, like one of the newer models.
    You're looking amazing btw, I hope you're detransition goes well :)

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад

      That’s amazing! Thank you for sharing! I feel really good about my specialist and the sessions are going super well. Thank you for the support ❤️

  • @selahr.
    @selahr. 3 года назад +10

    I wish people could remember that “male” or “female” are just descriptors that are someone else’s attempt to try to describe you before they’ve gotten to know you. The same way tall/short, thin/overweight, White/Black, Gay/Straight, rich/poor, logical/emotional, nerdy/jock/goth/etc., are just more small facets of who we appear to be to people who don’t really know us or who may not really need to know us on a more intimate/interpersonal way. These things are not the biggest or the most important words that describe us. Descriptors are not identities. Everyone is unique and constantly in flux in many ways based on our genes, experiences, beliefs, fears, goals/priorities, the current environment, our physiological state (stress/health/hormones), and the people we’re with in that environment/situation. Just do what feels right and comfortable for you and the people around you will begin to know who you are, not what you appear to be.

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад

      This was very well said and I resonate with it a lot! Thank you for sharing that.

  • @elizabethdavidson4188
    @elizabethdavidson4188 3 года назад +5

    You are really pretty and my aunt has a voice that is a little masculine. Your woman voice is definitely there too. I’m a little jelly of your hair lol. I have iron deficiency pretty bad so my hair falls out to much to get extensions. Just don’t forget you are a beautiful person inside and out. We always have a tug or war with ourselves with what we want cuz it always changes lol

  • @SkinninMacKinnon
    @SkinninMacKinnon 3 года назад +1

    You're such an excellent speaker. Thanks for sharing your story :)

  • @kasiah333
    @kasiah333 3 года назад

    You’re amazing, thank you for your videos. So happy to hear that you love yourself, you deserve that! ♥️

  • @leylazamora175
    @leylazamora175 3 года назад

    Self Love

  • @josiefrancis8197
    @josiefrancis8197 3 месяца назад

    Good luck girl welcome back to your self.

  • @LW-hq8gk
    @LW-hq8gk 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story with such courage. 💕. One thing people don’t ever talk about is the cost of transitioning and/or detransitioning. Can you comment on that?

  • @okitsadam
    @okitsadam 3 года назад

    I think this is the video everyone needs too see. Especially in 2021.

    • @okitsadam
      @okitsadam 3 года назад

      Why do I just completely get you! I also under stand playing the game. Forcing stuff down peoples throats is horrible. Don’t be those people.

  • @Alexis73
    @Alexis73 2 года назад

    I love your story and the way you share with us..it help me aloottttt ❤️🙏

  • @JayThe0
    @JayThe0 3 года назад +7

    I’m 1/2 middle eastern, 1/2 Greek. I stopped hormones 6 months ago mostly due to jail and my personality changed. but prefer to stay identifying as male and still have dysphoria (still trans) but yeah the hips come back after 4-5 months and my period came back the first month personally. That part sucks- but im still able to pass even with long hair and my skin looks better too.
    Glad you’re doing well you look great and your voice suits your personality

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +7

      Thank you for sharing that! Redefine your body for yourself! You’re male if that’s how you feel. We don’t all have to look like the stereotypical and unrealistic standard of what it means to be a “woman” or “man”. We’re complex humans and I hope you feel comfortable in your body however!

    • @kathleentaylor8840
      @kathleentaylor8840 3 года назад

      Just Troilus Just Troilus you look good with Polyxena Issa Ismail.

    • @JayThe0
      @JayThe0 3 года назад

      @@aliaxismail ******TW: PERIOD MENTION****
      thank you very much for that. I definitely do for sure feel confident and less dysphoric these days. Tbh I dislike periods but I’m getting through them and Idk if you can relate but it’s weaker now anyway?

  • @inoel678
    @inoel678 3 года назад

    It’s crazy y how powerful hormones are… good luck on your journey :)

  • @gillianstapleton8566
    @gillianstapleton8566 3 года назад

    Wow your looking fabulous I saw your video 4 months back and wow you look amazing. Xxx well done you brave lady

  • @pascalecat
    @pascalecat 3 года назад +6

    Thank you for sharing your journey, you are so valid! I’ve never taken T, but I have also been getting laser on my face due to a hormone imbalance; you are very pretty regardless! 💖

    • @pascalecat
      @pascalecat 3 года назад

      Also, you may be able to do a fat transfer to your chest if you want a more “feminine” chest, rather than implants? As someone who has also had a breast reduction (not total removal), I definitely see where you’re coming from when you say you are comfortable with a smaller chest. You 👏 are 👏 valid 👏 no 👏 matter 👏 what 👏

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +8

      Thank you! I have thought about that too, I just don’t know just yet. I kind of just want to live in this body for a while with making smaller moves.

  • @skateata1
    @skateata1 3 года назад

    There was a great ted talk from a person who transitioned from male to female. The person described how differently they were treated when viewed as a female.

  • @songbirdie6746
    @songbirdie6746 Год назад

    I definitely hear a bit of a difference in your voice. I listened to your first two videos and went straight into this one, so it does have a lighter sound than in those two videos.

  • @SHTMusik
    @SHTMusik 3 года назад

    Your voice sounds great and you look great. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • @memotape
    @memotape 3 года назад

    Thank u for sharing ur journey 💜

  • @amberpixie8550
    @amberpixie8550 3 года назад +2

    Your gorgeous 😍 I did wonder myself is transitioning a trauma responses from bad experiences as a child from the opposite gender it was a thorey of mine x

  • @emilyluke6496
    @emilyluke6496 3 года назад +1

    Look at you!! You look amazing 💕

  • @MILLIPEDE_JESUS
    @MILLIPEDE_JESUS 3 года назад +21

    I don't know if I'd be considered a detransitioner. I stopped testosterone because of medical reasons. I already got all the changes I wanted, plus I have a disorder that already disposes me to an increase in testosterone. I used to identify as a trans man but now I just... I don't know. I don't see myself as any gender. I feel as if it's not important to me. I feel above gender.

    • @lycagos1278
      @lycagos1278 3 года назад +6

      this is the healthy, just be yourself

    • @katietye3673
      @katietye3673 3 года назад +4

      Gender schmender, be yourself ❤️
      I support you.

    • @evviolet8370
      @evviolet8370 3 года назад +1

      That's the right thing fam , that's how we all should feel , we are MORE than just genders , gender shouldn't be obsessed with , u are just a person , the two gender is there to just make it simple for u to describe ur anatomy and to fill the goddamn forms , well just for the record and medical sake , thats pretty much bout it

    • @jayebullock8002
      @jayebullock8002 3 года назад

      You have transcended gender, my friend! Congrats on ascending beyond the bullshit!

  • @dabro2080
    @dabro2080 3 года назад

    Hi I don't know you, your video popped up, watched it because it sounded interesting to me, and I must say, you on first impressions are a really deep thinking, genuine and kind person, you've been through a lot in your young life, and I wish you the very best in your journey in the future, you certainly look female and very good looking. Life is a marathon, your marathon, you may not win, but you won't come last, keep going strong. Your words will help others. :)

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +1

      That was a really thought out and kind message. I’m glad you could see how expressive I am and how interesting the human experience is. I appreciate the support!

    • @dabro2080
      @dabro2080 3 года назад

      @@aliaxismail Thank you, I think a lot of people who do vlogs are not genuine, you don't need a million subscribers or views you have a 1 in a million personality to be proud of. You are so good at explaining things, keep on your path, don't be afraid of the side scenery you ain't going there, the road to your destination is your guide. The forks in the road you control. Reading some of your other comments I can tell you are helping other people deal with their journeys but also you make them feel like they are not the only one with a complicated dilemma in life. Be proud.

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +1

      @@dabro2080 thank you so so much again ❤️

  • @Joliebebe2001
    @Joliebebe2001 Год назад

    Society is not our ennemi. We don't have to rebel against all what it says. It s a society need to be organized and try to label things and people. As everything human does, it's not perfect. But we should know each other and not be disturbed by all these boxes that are just words. I hope you find happiness in this imperfect world or society. 🙏🏽

  • @MaureenKilloranhypnosis
    @MaureenKilloranhypnosis 3 года назад

    Your beautiful -thanks for sharing your journey.

  • @bornwithoutconsentobviously
    @bornwithoutconsentobviously 3 года назад +2

    As a fellow detransitioner, I'm glad seeing other especially biologically women, speak up about it.
    The thing is, you really look feminine/androgynous and seem to feel comfortable with that.
    My problem is, I do have a whole of regret when it comes to mostly hormones, not so much my chest, but my ideal gender expression is still pretty masculine and I can't really look like that without getting misgendered all the time, which is something I'm not willing to live with for a long period of time.
    Or basically all my life.
    So I kind of have to pick and choose, do I look the way I would ideally like to look and be misgendered all the time, or do I make some concessions to look a bit more androgynous/feminine so I won't be misgendered all the time?
    I wish I could just be like you basically, like I'm me, I'm a biologically woman who at one point transitioned to male, and I don't care how people view me, but I can't seem to get to that point.
    I wish I could just feel like a person and don't care so much, but maybe I will get there someday.
    It's difficult.
    Anyway. Good luck to you.

    • @aliaxismail
      @aliaxismail  3 года назад +3

      I don’t really feel like a “woman” either though. I’ve completely removed labels and a stereotypical feminine look. I just look and dress how I want and stay true to myself. Getting rid of the idea of having to look a certain way to “pass” helped me. I just do what I want now. I appreciate the support!

  • @MIMIX015
    @MIMIX015 3 года назад +1

    you are a beautiful human 🤩

  • @SoulInspiredSeller
    @SoulInspiredSeller 3 года назад

    Thank you for sharing your story! :)

  • @Laura-lh7xg
    @Laura-lh7xg 3 года назад

    Wow you look so different!!! Beautiful, love the hair !

    • @WillChil466
      @WillChil466 3 года назад

      Why black? He'd look more normal in his natural hair color . This kid is a boy with the wrong equipment.

    • @Laura-lh7xg
      @Laura-lh7xg 3 года назад

      @@WillChil466 I think they go by "she" now. And wasn't the hair black already?

  • @annettefournier9655
    @annettefournier9655 3 года назад

    Spot on! Dump the frigging labels and just be who you are without the boxes. It's your character not your pronoun that's defining.

  • @azulg06
    @azulg06 3 года назад +4

    I love the conversation! I have accepted being called she/he because my kid hasn't figured out pronouns yet.

  • @ktmenifee
    @ktmenifee 3 года назад

    So, I have no idea how I stumbled upon your video. I had to look back on your other videos to catch up. You look natural as a woman for what it is worth.