Alia's Detransitioning - 6 Month Update!
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2021
- Formerly known as Issa, I am now preferring Alia!
Here's my update 6 months off Testosterone!
I talk about physical changes, how I feel about my identity and address some of my thoughts and opinions on how I've been on social media.
If I missed anything, or you'd like me to talk about anything more post a comment or send me a message!
Check out my
Tiktok: aliaxismail
Instagram: aliaxismail
and my documentary on my FtM transition: AYearInTransition.com.
Again, please don't use my story in any negative context. I want people to see my journey and know that fluidity is okay and everyone is different! Good luck everyone! and thanks for watching and supporting :)
I’m a transmasc. person. I find it beautiful the way you share your journey! :) It’s such a taboo, we need to destroy the shame around detransition! There is not a collective trans experience, there is not a collective detransiton experience, there is not a collective cis experience.
You’re literally glowing and looking so happy! Thanks so much for taking us all on this journey with you ❤️
Please do not stop talking about this topi . You are helping me and so many others.
ty for taking us on your journey
❤️
@@aliaxismail Alia! Thank you for chatting with me on IG and answering my questions love. You are beautiful beyond words... I mean that. Still praying for your continued happiness and success
I think it’s amazing that you’re willing to share your journey. I wish you all the best. 💜
Thank you for being yourself. You are a courageous, strong woman and I’m so proud of you. You’re beautiful just the way you.
you look amazing💚im a trans guy but i like to see all sides of our community hope you’re doing well
Wow so true. So true. From one expansive spirit blob to another… thank you for sharing your journey.
i went through your exact same thing Alia, i used to be ftm thank god i didnt do hormones but i despised my boobs and found out my Gender Dysphoria was actually body dysmorphia and i was on reddit and went into r/traaaaaa and thought i was trans, its hard to find myself but i found out im really just a cis lesbian gal
edit : I hope you are doing ok, i love your videos 💝
Yo it's Spencer from group! I randomly came across the documentary on an article and it made me want to look you up, found the interview you did with that boyce dude and then this channel and I'm glad I did.
You look amazing, you sound amazing, and I'm glad you're doing so well finding yourself. I'm really happy for you 💜
Aw Spencer! I really hope you’re doing well. Thank you for the kind comment. ❤️
Your videos are so calming, like a therapy session, no joke. I really appreciate this video, its helping me with my 3am meltdown. I think you're a really great and incredibly intelligent person ❤
so proud of you!!
Thank you so much ❤️
Very positive, sane person. Would love to learn more about the barber school and your experiences there if/when you feel like it.
Every time I watch your videos, I feel my eyes tearing... You got such a beautiful journey, and I relate so much to your words. These "binary gender boxes" are so harmful to everyone! I'm FTM - one and a half year on T - and I've been wondering about detransitioning. I realised that being and expressing myself as a male was too hurtful, as if I always had to be super selfconscious about what I'm wearing, how I'm talking or walking, etc... It reduced myself to a label; I wasn't ME anymore, I was just a male human being. I lost myself during this time... I know these gender binary boxes exist but how the f**k do I get over them??? It's so hard and exhausting...
You’re sweet, thank you for watching. I’m sorry you’re feeling out of body and not yourself. It’s a lot of mental work to get over societies labels. It truly comes down to your mind set and not worrying about what anyone thinks of you or how they perceive you. Good luck on your journey friend ❤️
Well done to you! Seriously! The authenticity and how sincere you are is so genuine. You don't need to defend yourself to anyone. You know who you are! That is a super feeling!
Thank you for the kind comment! ❤️
It is sad that people don't know their identity. I wish all of you going through this happiness!
It’s ok to not know, I have embraced the confusion instead of stressing over it too much
Just a beautiful person, inside and out and I’m so glad that I’m following along side your journey! I’m very proud of you and you have a trans brother right here who supports and love you no matter what! Keep on shining, doll face! 😘❤️💫
You look so pretty and honestly I think your voice still fits you!
Thank you! And I think it does too 😊 I like it for sure.
You're doing great!
I love your story and you. What a beautiful person you are. Glad to spend 25 minutes of my birthday with you.
That was very sweet of you! Happy birthday!! ❤️
@@aliaxismail Thank you so much. 52 today and missing my Mama, she is 2000 miles away and I haven't seen her in nine years. You definitely made my day better.
@@Adulting_Autistic I’m sure you both have each other in your hearts! ❤️ hopefully you can see her again soon!
I’m gonna first say - anyone who’s saying your content is harmful, it’s them not you that’s having a problem.
I’m a binary trans man in my gender identity, my “expression” is I wear and look however I want. Femme, masc. whatever the day is.
I’ve watched/listened to a lot of detransitioners to have an understanding of what that’s like for people. You’ve always been respectful in everything I’ve seen. This is about your personal journey and you’re not blaming anyone or pushing any narrative to others. You’re just being you. Your message is positive and just telling people to be themselves. You’re a very refreshing voice compared to some I’ve seen.
Honestly, I wish YOUR words as someone who’s detransitioning were louder than some of the others I’ve seen platformed.
Anyway, I wish you the best in your journey to being more yourself! And thank you for being so open with the world. Your positive outlook is the kind of energy the world needs.
You looks like kirsten Stewart
Do you mind doing a detailed video on your experience in laser hair removal?
Like a 12 month update?
Thanks for sharing your experience. Like you said, representation matters
Thank you for sharing your experience. I relate to a lot of what you're saying and it's nice to have someone to look towards when it comes to my own process.
I was unintentionally off hormones for nearly a year. Last month I was able to get back on them, but it didn't feel necessary anymore. I'm not sure what I see myself as gender wise but I don't mind what pronouns people use. I think a lot of my personal confusion regarding my detransition comes from the fact that I don't really have any intentions of doing things further than letting my natural hormone take over again. I like my flat chest (am ok with if it grows), I like my deep voice, my body hair, etc. I think I might want to laser my facial hair but I'm unsure of that still since I can shave it pretty close. My apologies for this oversharing, I haven't found much community yet ^^;
I really appreciate you sharing all of this with us and love how open minded you are. 💕
I love being trans, and I totally understand where you are coming from. I feel like people judge you based of your de-transition because the word detransition has just been used on the internet to make it seem like Transitioning isn’t right, and that ‘’everyone’s gonna regret it’’ when that’s far from true. Thank you for not carrying on with that horrible stigma that Transitioning is bad, and that ‘’everyone should detransition’’. Because at the end of the day were all just trying to find happiness and comfort in our bodies. And if that’s transitioning, detransitioning, or being non binary etc. We shouldn’t judge what others decide to do with their bodies.
Not trans but I went through a similar thing with the whole idea of being lesbian enough. Spent a few years looking and acting very masculine, and looking back I can pin point what triggered that and why I decided to present myself that way. I kind of hated myself and I didn’t know why. Well long story short, through the use of psychedelic medicine I became more in touch with my feminine side and with myself in general. It’s a spiritual journey for sure. Don’t let other people stop you from telling your truth, you’re a great person and very beautiful if you ask me.
Btw full disclosure, psychedelics are not for everyone. It could either be heaven on earth or possibly the worst mental breakdown you will not recover from. Much love everyone
I'm about to start a low dose of T and I'm so happy you're feeling happy with your journey!
I think the possibility of being able to detransition and knowing I'd be okay with that is what finally gave me the courage to go see a doctor. I'm an adult and I don't actually think I'll regret it at all, but there's always that 1% possibility like with any decision, right?
I think informed consent is so important, it takes so much pressure off to us when a doctor tells us the truth: "there's no a single right way to be trans, not a check list to complete, no requirement, you can pause or stop this process whenever you want and we don't need an explaination or reason, we're just here to help you get what you want and need"
That's what my doctors told me, and I'd wish this was said to everyone.
You're looking amazing and I hope you feel amazing as well because You deserve it 😊
your lucky im married! wewew, keep up the good work. love the content
I remember seeing the shaving video you did. Your face looks so smooth now and your voice is like a husky female voice. I’m happy for you that you feel comfortable now and don’t have to take the hormones. All my best wishes for the future x
i appreciate you!
You look so happy! Wow! ❤️🥰
You are brave and look so beautiful. You look happy and healthy! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for sharing your experience. Im nonbinary and recently started testosterone. I feel very fluid and I want to always stay open to my feelings and be able to lean towards masculine or feminine as I please. I still feel scared to call myself trans sometimes because I love dresses, because I love pink, etc… but I know myself, and I know that this is not in conflict with my love of femininity, but simply another facet of who I am. Hearing your experience helps me feel more confident in allowing myself to be fluid.
trans masculine people can be feminine and have feminine interests.
I’m glad you’re feeling more confident in your fluidity! It doesn’t matter what your identity is as long as you’re happy doing the things you do. Nothing has to fit perfectly in those boxes.
For the hair : rosemary/cedarwood/peppermint/lemon essential oil put in all your hair products plus weekly homemade masks (just an easy one, like castor oil and eggyolk, ad 2-3 drops each. But be sure they are the best, not cheap stuff...
Can you share more info about this for us? Any links?
You look great and your voice is more fem than a smokey lounge singer voice (which is a wonderful voice in and of itself! )
You are so level headed and pragmatic about everything. It is very nice to hear you keep saying "I love this" or "I'm enjoying that" "this is working great for me" and that is really awesome. You look happy. Also you looked great presenting as a man and look hot presenting as a girl... I think you might actually be a shape shifting alien lol
LOL I appreciate the shape shifting alien comment that’s funny. But yes! I can’t keep looking at the things I don’t have and appreciate what I do have! It took a lot of work to change my perception to be happy. There’s always moment where I slip up, but it doesn’t last long like before.
The most important thing is you feel good. I did notice WTM back to MTF seem to be stuck with a male pattern to their hair. Their hair does not seem to grow back like it did when they were first a woman. It tends to be further back, like a man's hairline. Do you find that to be true? I have noticed it bothered others. Does it bother you? Well said and great video. We all need to learn to live in the present, Yesterday and tomorrow don't exist. It's only the now. Sending you love and thanks for sharing.
It has thinned and it does bother me but I think thats just because I love my hair in general. So I was upset as a Transman too but I have so much hair at the same time that it helps cover it, when it was short snd curly and now with it long and bangs. At the moment I’m trying out Nioxin brand and their night serum to thicken hair strands and help with growth. I have noticed a little bit of growth super tiny hairs, but it’s visibly thin for sure if I put my hair in a high bun. We’ll see in the next 6 months to year if that changes!
Thanks for the kind comment ❤️
The poor girl your very brave x
Thanks for sharing this part of your journey with us. I’m a transmasc nonbinary person and I know I want top surgery as soon as feasible. But the idea of having a flat chest impeding my ability to wear a dress, should I wish to wear one in the future, upsets me a little. I’d love to hear more about your experiences dress shopping if you’re comfortable sharing. ❤️
Yes definitely! There are plenty of cis women who have a smaller chest, but usually have a tinier body as well so dresses still fit a little better. I’ll probably just have to get them tailored to my body, which alot of cis and trans men have to do for suits anyways!
@@aliaxismail huh, tailoring didn’t even cross my mind, but that makes total sense
@@1preciousflower yeah I know. I’m not having doubts about top surgery. Just wondering how my relationship with clothing might be different afterward.
You can always get a bra, right? To make that visual illusion
@@alexshane5713 That’s not a bad suggestion. But breasts are a source of dysphoria for me so I would not want the illusion even. Maybe the solution is just to go with skirts and shirts.
Have you tried using collagen products in your drinks? I use Vital Proteins collagen creamer (since I love coffee) but there are other collegen powders you can use in your water, smoothies, etc. Also, eating salmon, nuts, avocados, berries, spinach helps with hair growth too. I have salmon once a week for over a year now and my hair grows pretty fast. Hope this helps. :)
I do eat pretty healthy usually! But I’ll look into the collagen! I’m working on my temples that have thinned too!
Hi Issa ,I am so new to you,and I could be all off base ,but I jus wanna help so I hope my comments reflect that, try if possible to find a skirt and a vest shirt with a padded bra the vest type shirt will give you a unique style look ,plus hide the absence of breast a little and a padded bra of your size will plump your area enough to make you look like an Acup? Maybe??? .I hope but I think also with you jus trying to adjust back the skirt will make you feel more confident ,one more look which is amazing in small/non breast women is the spaghetti dresses believe it or not ,it actually looks good.
Good luck have fun and you have a beautiful outlook so keep being you!!
saw your vids yesterday, you look great!!
The number of people who will eventually detransition may be far greater than expected. One reason for this is that even after transitioning, the journey of self discovery will continue. 🌱
No, it isnt, detransition numbers are literally half of a half of a percentage of the trans population. stop misrepresenting the detransition community to try and divide us and speak over detransitioners
What I’m interpreting from your comment is that humans are starting to realize they are always evolving. And hopefully people will start to accept themselves in their bodies as they are and hopefully one day gender will start to be more and more fluid where folks don’t feel the need to take hormones & surgery to be perceived as they please.
I truly understand the benefit of said hormones & surgeries to have mind and body congruence, but hopefully there’s a day where we don’t all need to go that route in order to be validated!
@@facelessdrone my god this comment is a nightmare inside of a nightmare there are really no fucking bounds to what can offend a human being. Misrepresenting?????? How do you misrepresent something that is constantly changing? Fucking A it’s literally a nightmare that I hope I never have to endure because id honestly try to do my best to greet you as whatever you are that day and you will say some crazy shit to make me or any other confused person seem stupid. Chill the fuck out
Fun fact: when you have top surgery, they usually leave a small amount of breast tissue so your chest has a natural look instead of being concave (cis men have a small amount of breast tissue too, and can even get breast cancer). So it's possible that you might get some growth in that area while detransitioning.
I thought that was the case too! When I called them they said they don’t leave any, but that was the receptionist that answered that question. I’m curious to see what happens when my levels are back at 100!
@@aliaxismail hey, it's me, again, with the oils... I am very deep into aromatherapy and I recommend Vetiver essential oil for natural growth in that aria. I know people are using it after breast cancer surgery with good results. Now, I only now about the CTPG essential oil from Doterra because that one has this Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade, that means the molecule is small and pure enough to penetrate blood vessels, having no secondary effects. I would give it a try, why not?
You look amazing
Thank you so much! I feel amazing!
Holy cow! I did know this was you, the last time I saw you you were in the bathroom shaving your face! You look amazing as a woman
I hope your doing fine. Have you thought about that before we are born we chose our gender to experience the life of a male or female? to go against it is delaying that experience therefore we have to reincarnate again to that body
Can you please tell me the name of the vitamins u bought for hair growth? I’m gonna see if I can maybe buy them online
Hair skin and nails gummies by my garden of life!
@@aliaxismail Thank you!
Bangs would really suit your face shape!
You're very beautiful! 😍
Did you have any medical prescription for the testosterone you used?
Of course. Check out my first video I talk about that. And I have my documentary at ayearintransition.com
You're beautiful
Alia, which languages do you speak?
hello Alia nice that you are well I could not see your videos for a while because my internet was changed now I have faster internet stay as you are you seem to be a very nice person I call you again with your girl name just out of respect although issa is also a nice name greetings from Lower Saxony Germany
One problem of transitioning medically is that in the US, there is a profit motive involved. It’s expensive and could render a person in need of medication for life. There are so many unscrupulous people involved in the gender industry, from Big Pharma to plastic surgeons to psychiatrists and therapists. That’s the main reason I’m opposed to medical transition. Vulnerable people are being lied to; both the patients and their families. It’s nice and more socially acceptable to tell people to go ahead and do what they think is right for them but the truth is that many, many people detransition , even many years later. And often the time between the initial transition and detransition are not happy times. Suicide risk sharply increases after medical transitioning.
But the issue is not medical transition existing, its the way specialists determine who needs it. Noone is being lied to. The thing is gender is very complicated and subjective so even with a thorough analysis, psychologists cant always determine if that person is truly dysphoric. Detransitioners make up less than 10% of the percentage of ppl who transition so, although its a fairly high percentage, its not ok to generalise and make it more difficult to transition for the 90% of ppl who really need it.
Right, so you're opposed to medical transitioning because of the profit motive involved and not anything else? I assume you're opposed to all medical treatment as they have profit motives as well and big pharma has their hands in all the drugs. Surgeries in general use drugs from big pharma so I presume we should be opposed to that as well. We need to stop the surgery industry from operating.
Academic studies put detransitioning at 8% at most. That means 92% of people don't detransition. Basically what you want to do is stop trans people from transitioning because some people detransition and actually in many cases don't actually regret transitioning.
I agree with you. The medical industry has found a cash cow. They all get their payout and the person given drugs or surgeries has now become a life long patient with medical issues they never would have had.
😍👌
Nobody is going to call you anything other than she / her. If they do, it must be because they trying to be offensive.
You voice is in the female range but is lower than the average woman.
Iam glad you are at peace with your chest as it is because many biological women never grow breasts it would be a mistake to try and get implants because it would never look and feel satisfactory. How tall are you, you look about 5'1 which must have been very short for a man.
Your voice sounds like a deeper version of scarlett johanssons voice
Do you think trans kids should be able to have horomone blockers?
Did you really just watch my video and then ask that question? Im so tired of people like you.
@@aliaxismail wait never mind sorry for disturbing you your a really pretty lady :)
@@aliaxismail people don’t have time to watch the whole 25 min. Sometimes they have a question but yea you already addressed it. Obviously she was there to support you.
everyone wants to be a victim ...now we have detransitioners .
Tbh I think that even if you didn't train it, your voice still sounds very feminine :) So rest assured xx
You are gorgeous. Why would you want to be a guy when you are gorgeous as a woman?
Like that's the point of transitioning. 🙄
@@phillipff9923 if they were attractive as a guy, but they were much cuter as a lady then a guy.
woman is better?? man is better?? answer me plz. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
You must actually care about pronouns really because you've taken the trouble to deliberately choose to 'detransition' from one thing to another.
So actually detransitioning is a process not an identifier. So it doesn’t really coincide with pronouns in a sense, it’s a process of going off of hormones and medically detransitioning. I’m actually not going from “one thing to another” I’m just allowing myself to freely express in any way that I want. It might look to you like it’s one or another because of what society deems masculine or feminine, but for me I have removed all pressures of having to be or look a certain way and just doing what I want. Definitely check out my social media handles and other videos to truly understand how I’m feeling!
@@aliaxismail I'm not trying to cause trouble or deny feelings I assure you. The act of taking hormones (or stopping taking them) develops known characteristic effects, which transitioning/de-transitioning people must be looking for, or what would be the point of taking the hormones? If people reject the idea of one or the other there would be no question of 'transition/de-transition', it would be just 'nothing'. Just what 'is'. 'Transition' is something which occurs between one state and another, that's what the word means. There must be some idea of what these states represent before change can even be recognised and spoken about! Or if they aren't, then everything is unnamable, unclassifiable. Maybe it is.
@@baronmeduse correct, I realized all of this which caused me to decide to detransition. We’re on the same page. I’m not sure why you don’t think we’re on the same page…because I would of just continued on hormones, does that make sense?
@@aliaxismail Of course it makes sense. It's also not for me to judge you, I'm just trying to understand so I read what you say with interest. For you to feel at ease with yourself is important.
thank you for sharing your story without being hateful 🤍
a lot of detransitioners can learn from you