MY DETRANSITION TIMELINE
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- Опубликовано: 13 июл 2020
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Howdy guys. Today I bring to you my detransiton timeline video, with all my embarrassing old photos. Enjoy.
Also, if you're new here, I am a female, to male, to female detransitioner. I am not against people transitioning, it just wasn't the right decision for me.
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I think we are going to see ALOT of these types of videos in 10-15 years.
I was just thinking the same thing!
totally
A lot sooner than that.
Yup.
I (respectfully) hope you're wrong 😩 That must be such a scary journey
When I was kid, I thought girls could only be tomboys or girly girls. I spent my childhood rejecting all things feminine because I didn't think it was possible to like both feminine and masculine things. Now I've learnt I can enjoy video games and bike riding as well as fashion and sewing. I just wished I'd found that out sooner.
Meanwhile I grew up without stereotypes and there were no girly or boy things,everyone just liked whatever the hell they liked. Still have no idea how people get the impression that they can't like something unless a parent was strictly against it for some dumb reason.
When i was kid i know that dolls are for girls and cars and gun for boys. But i played with both. I played with what i liked
@@Igni.. that reminds me when I was young I had a Barbie car and a guy friend of mine was IN LOVE with it x'D every time I came over he asked if he can play with it.
@@jos-josradvanji6203 🤣🤣yes. I took care for a baby doll, i went out with stroller. I played that i am father and it is my child 🤣 If I had some crazy parents, they would probably raised me as a girl, I am glad that i have normal parents. I played with femmine toys but also i had a guns, lot of guns 💪🤣
Love this reply. I've always been asked if I was a lesbian because of the things I enjoyed doing or the fact that most of my friends were males, from the same people who made me feel like a shitty female and pushed me away from their group. Growing up I've learnt that I deserve my femininity no matter what. Nature gave it to me and once you understand how it shapes you, the gratitude you feel about it is immense, once you pull out your mind from these impossible beauty standards society keeps on pushing to let you feel like a shapeless blob to sell you their "remedies".
So bad that so many young minds get subjected to this system in which nature is seen as flawed or useless.
It comes from the same people who says that 96% of DNA is useless and refuse to spend any time studying it tho, so what can we even say about it.
One thing i don't see talked about with this stuff is the role that social media plays. Kids today don't seem to go to their parents or someone older and wiser than them for advice and guidance. They go to social media and ask people who might not even know them and are likely just as immature. As a result someone going through questioning their gender will get affirmation instead of sound advice and be told to ignore their parents because they grew up in a more bigoted world, this their opinion doesn't matter.
Your journey is an eye-opener to me for sure. I'm 19 and also a tomboy, with short hair and binding and stuff but I'm proud to express my feminine hobbies to the world now. At 13, 14 I used to think I was trans, I thought about top surgery and taking hormones but luckily I did not act on it. Now at 19, I'm fully embracing both the feminine and masculine side of my body, as I realize growing a beard or having a flat chest was just my weird attempts at validating my self-worth and using it as a coping mechanism against past sexual assault traumas.
I'm relieved for you ❤
You need Jesus
@@SupaChinido nah, hell's more fun to me
@@SupaChinido guess imma pay a visit to that stinky old bastard again and make sure he ain't never leave hell
@@SupaChinido spoken like a true Christian...
I think if anyone is staring at you for any length of time it's probably just because of how pretty you are.
I agree, (though it might be nice for the asexual+aromatic if they dealt with their thirst without digging holes in other people like laser beams.)
Definitely.
@@isobelb i think that's the case for a lot of people even if they aren't asexual. Being stared at is uncomfortable as hell. I'm not asexual but I don't like being "sexualized" especially by strangers. The thing is, maybe they aren't doing that, maybe they just appreciate her beauty but still, when there is the possibility of making someone uncomfortable we should choose not to do it. Period.
Yep
100% truth.
This is why is important to understand the difference between gender, sexual orientation, and gender expression.
This one is a big yep.
And gender dysphoria
...and overall confusion
@@joshuafowlerphotos exactly and that's why my comment. Many gay people lives in ignorance, they don't know the difference between gender, sexual orientation and gender expression and just because they like make up and dresses or heels they think they are trans but they still feel comfortable with their body yet they make the transition.
@@LenKagaminecv02 What is the difference between gender and gender expression?
You looked good as both a male and a female. You still look good as a woman after detransitioning. I think your story is very important for people in your situation. Sometimes we have to wait, think and give things time before taking such drastic steps because some things are irreversible.
@rah_idkidk1838 sounds like a man lol...she ruined her life with this whole trans shit, this stuff should be illegal! Who believes is trans then should make a mental check, it's all about mentality...
Considering what you said, this is being taught in schools to children, being motivated to transition and are allowed to do so as young as 12!Democrats pushing that in schools.Anyone with normal working brain would know that's crazy.
We all need to remember that ‘looking good’ as a man or woman isn’t always that important. It’s more important to know what sex you are and find a way of accepting it. Women don’t owe anyone, pretty, they are born female and just are. Big, small, tall, cross eyed , whatever. Always a woman with a woman’s brain and feelings. I’m proud to be a woman.
We're definitely going to see a lot of more of these videos, because it's a big part of the current zeitgeist a lot of people will see transitioning as an easy fix to their inner turmoil.
Stuff like this is why I, as a trans person, do not support the "informed consent" model of "diagnosis" and strongly advocate for proper therapy under an experienced psychologist.
Woah, you're trans ? I would have never guessed. I'm sorry if this sounds stupid or insensitive in any way but I seriously would never have guessed.
@@Getout634 No offense taken. I always tell people that's the whole point of transition lol
@@WolfgangPwnz Yeah I don't know much about the topic so I didn't want to say anything wrong lol but seriously you look great.
@@Getout634 No problems at all. Thanks o/ I always appreciate a compliment 👍
As a trans person myself too i really think that they should have went to a professional therapist to figure out themselves more. This way they’ll figure out if its because they are just uncomfortable and awkward when they were younger and not having body dysphoria, because being awkward and insecure of your body in the early stages of puberty is normal since your body is changing and the feeling is ALMOST similar to dysphoria yet not quite, but a transperson they really dont see their body and mind connect properly even if they try super hard to be comfortable in a dress/suit or anything associated to their assigned birth sex. This is also why many transpeople are only able to transition at 19 or older because they would be able to understand their personality and body much better as their hormone levels settle and have to go to a therapist before you get top surgery or Testosterone/estrogen shots.
In my country it’s recommended and required to have therapy before having a t shot ot any gender reassignment surgery to avoid any mistakes.
Admitting a mistake of this level says a lot about you
Definitely
Yeah, most people would just prefer to suicide. Killing yourself is not a solution. At least she accepted her fault and decided to fix it as much as she could fix.
That's why trained professionals should figure out if someone has actual gender dysphoria or just insecurities about themselves or just not fitting the stereotypes of the gender. If only they'd actually existed, cause it's messed up to just give hormones and surgeries to whoever asks for it. The damage can't be undone and even kids are allowed to "consent" in this matter. The western countries will be hold accountable when too many kids detransition.
it also says a lot about the education system and society in general
Should've never done it initially. Woke culture is an evil cult
I was a total tomboy and I was bullied, I also had extremely large breasts and grew up in an extremely abusive household. I never felt comfortable in my own skin until much later in life. I’m so grateful that I am not growing up today because they would have told me that I was transgender. A huge part of the problem is our media and the sexualization of us women way too young. It changes the way everyone looks at us from a young age on and it makes us when we are already uncomfortable with our bodies even more uncomfortable. I hope you have found happiness, you are beautiful inside and that is what matters the most. I’m sorry you went through this but I am happy that you found your voice and felt comfortable enough to be your true self. Sending positive vibes your way.
i feel like some doctors are way to fast to jump to the conclusion of LGBTQ as if it’s a dream cure. I don’t think it would be good to get told that you’re transgender. Because then that’s the same stuff as oh you’re a man.
You should get the resources to decide on your own
ok but did we have to know your breasts were "extremely large" like girl stfu 😭
Same here! I think it's easy ( especially if you are unlucky enough to develop early, in a preditory/abusive environment-which I was as well!) to mistake the fear/anger/confusion you go through when all of a sudden, you are PREY...(just everyone's frigging victim!) for something other than what it is! I tried to starve them off, then cut them off myself (believe it or not!) thought I was gay, then trans, then Asexual when really I was just HURTING and in need of serious (longterm) therapy, which thankfully I got. Fast forward, I've been happily married for 16 years and raised a beautiful family. None of that would have ever taken place if I had been encouraged to make a permanent change while in a broken state of mind! I'm so thankful for people like you, who are getting the TRUTH of this out there (despite the HYPOCRITICAL hate you're all receiving from a community that's supposed to be all about loving yourself for who you TRULY are...as long as it's TRANS, I GUESS?!! That must be the quite part they don't add...we accept everyone who agrees 100 percent that this is a great idea for young people to do!!
Thanks for sharing this. I like to hear you talking about what happened to you and how you never ever not even once vilified trans existence or the transition process. It's all about information and self discovery, I hope we move on and young folks can undertands what's sex, gender, sexual orientation and gender expression.
i literally had this question a couple days ago like “do people ever regret transitioning and then like undo it?”
youtube was listening 😂 👀
Every. Time. My phone hears all and it freaks me out! Pinterest included lol. It advertised a reese's Easter egg with my sons name in icing on it! 🧐🧐🧐🧐🥴🥴🥴🥴
@@DaniellesDentureDiaries what the heck.. this is why intune mines off.
@@LeeTheLee I can't keep mine (my phone is what I'm assuming you meant?) off all day lol. I work and need top have contact with my family.
I just noticed pinterest doing that kinda crap as well,' but didn't see anyone mention it until you. O.O oh my gosh are you serious with that last part??! I would be so friggen livid if I saw something like that
@@ItsRealyReall yeah it happened this past Easter before that it wasn't as bad. It had started showing advertisements for my "dream vehicle", a black Escalade.... 2 days later.... 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
Definitely one cool thing is that Delores was with you through this whole journey and loves you just the same. =)
That's the great part of animals friends 😔❤️❤️
Not to put a damper on your comment because it was very wholesome, reptiles have been proven incapable of having emotions such as love.
@quete inrpot wow, easy there, cutie
We need more people in the world like Delores lmao
quete inrpot 😂😂😂
Thanks for sharing 😊
A common denominator I’m seeing is obsessive self-centric thinking. If you push out your focus onto the world around, you stop worrying about trivial things like people ‘misgendering’ you. Start to change your focus and attention to others, and the world around you. And you will feel a lot more free and happy. Whether you’re a true trans or not. Doesn’t matter. Much love 💗
"you stop worrying about trivial things like people ‘misgendering’ you"
Maybe it's "trivial" to you because it literally doesn't affect you. I bet if everyone started socializing you by the opposite binary gender, you wouldn't find it so insignificant. Keep your transphobia and pick me behavior to yourself, no one cares.
Thanks for being a blatant transphobe! /s "obsessive self centric thinking' is what YOU have, believing the world should bend to your will. Seek help.
Stop being a hypocrite, everyone is self centric. Stop telling people to do otherwise
@@NagiSeishirou-il2rr 🙄instead of finding a reason to be offended, perhaps try fully comprehending what you are reading first. they said "OBSESSIVE self-centric thinking". maybe humble yourself and stop trying to hide from/silence anything that may be PERCEIVED as judgement to your fragile ears. MOST people can benefit from being less ego-centric.
No. Common denominator is NO FATHER!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure this will be encouraging to other detransitioners. I'm glad to hear you say you learned some valuable things through the experience and that it wasn't all a mistake because of the things you learned and perspectives you got. Good for you. You seem to be coming into your own! And you are truly beautiful.
She’s actually freakin gorgeous. That must’ve been a tough journey.
No bullshit she's one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen, so sad she went through this. luckily she didn't do any surgery and it's mostly only her voice that will need a long time to correct itself
Yah, ugly people have it waaay easier.
@@AlienGenotype voice will never correct itself. Voice changes caused by hormone use is permanent.
@@embersandash that's unfortunate
Literally beautiful!!!! Gorgeous as a guy, too. That face is timeless
Honestly you pass even better now that you have short hair. I have no idea why, but it makes you look more like some badass biker woman who's expected to have a smoker voice lmao. Anyway great vid, as a transguy I think it's important to hear both successful transition and detransition stories to know for sure what's right for me. So keep it up ;)
So basically 90s biker Wonder woman with a buzz cut and a gold motorcycle chain lasso? 🤣
Have you found any successful transitions?
@@thepirate-z7f yes definitely. There's people who still haven't regretted transitioning who're on an older age, for example Buck Angel. There's a lot of trans people who used to be suicidal but are living a happy life now that they transitioned. The detransition rate is less than 1% and almost all of those weren't trans either way, and if they were it's bc of the social pressure. Obviously we have to make sure people who do transition are actually trans, but if they are, transitioning could be a life saver
@@samlee2321 what is your definition of actual trans people?
@@samlee2321 Also I don´t think Buck Angel is a smart female, I don´t see how I can learn much from that person. I think there may be other people who have a better explanation to these things. I also don´t think Buck Angel has her life sorted out and I don´t understand how you can be happy if you know you can´t get what you want, and in Buck Angels situation I would want more than she has right now. Also I don´t think trans people are the only ones having a problem with their sexuality, I think people are generally confused and abused, especially by the social pressure which in this day and age mostly pushes you to go beyond boundaries and Im surprised that morals are not the only evidence against my claim against this trending speed dating(just for sex) thing.As a former manipulative evil person I can tell you that Buck Angel has done a lot of things where she put herself in a lot of bad situations and has hurt herself, I wish this was not the case for this person but Im just saying that I don´t understand how a self destructive person just like I was once, can be ´´happy´´. Also I don´t trust my feelings so don´t think that I am against or for anything even though I may sound sometimes ´´emotional´´ in my sentences, If I were to go with my emotions I´d probably get carried away by my anger and go to jail for life after a nice little conflict between me and other people, Im saying this because I have had bad experiences with letting myself get pushed by feelings.
"Do what's right for you" ...problem is people make decisions with permanent consequences when they arent in a healthy mental state, or have the life experience to know what is right for them. Lots of horror stories out there, even just those drugs aren't harmless, especially in teen agers.
I'm so sad that you had to go through all of this. It's so frustrating to know that there are people that are so confused that they make such drastic changes they end up regretting.
@@charbucket1830wow that was actually really beautiful
I am detransiting myself FTMTF. Thank you for your videos. Everything you said in this video is 100% me. I thought it would make me happier however at the end of the day, I look back on before transitioning and felt like I made a mistake. And I was happy for that peroid of time of transitioning, living as a male, getting called he and sir, but I also felt I was lying to myself and the world. Thanks again for your story. You're beautiful ♡
Was there any difference in how you were treated as a man? Were there any perks or disadvantages you noticed?"
@@MrLazerCatt People ignore you. They expect less of you.
@@JC-li8kk Oof yeah sounds about right. Though it may be perceived there are less expectations, there are actually many for men. And the reason why most men are ignored by society is because they dont live up to said expectations. For example, theres all sorts of statistics out there that say 80% of men are ignored by women on dating sites, which implies there are expectations that 80% of men dont meet.
@@MrLazerCatt There’s just a lot of fluff out there that men do not find necessary to accomplish, but women do. Society recognizes this & therefore it’s women who are expected to do more because they’ve shown a willingness to do the unnecessary.
@@JC-li8kk Hmm in that case women should probably slow down on the fluff considering they own the majority of student loan and credit card debt.
A little hint for anyone who needs it:
Don't "try" to be a "man" or "woman". Just be you.
We struggle when we try to live up to society's definitions. Just be yourself, whomever that is. Don't stress over what you can't control.
right. my gender confusion went away when i stopped thinking of myself as a "woman", but rather a "person who just so happens to be a woman." shifts the focus from gender, to you as an individual.
Some people have legit body dysphoria though, so trying to have a different frame of mind or social interactions won't necessarily help. This is especially true for trans women dealing with testosterone which can feel like your body is attacking itself. I relate to FTM detransitioners a lot as a trans woman. Some of the struggles are quite similar.
@Slava Gorbunov even science doesn't know exactly how body/gender dysphoria works yet. this is an old topic that have been emphasized kinda recently, and it still needs to be studied.
This. I grew up in a small town with macho guys, but I never was. I liked books, music, art, etc. My dad was similar, so that helped. He never made me hide my feelings or hold anything in.
Omfg yes. This is what helped me a couple days ago when the thoughts of whether I was trans or not were consuming my brain. Let’s get this to top comment
I'm refreshed to see so much genuine honesty here, especially for things which people wouldn't want to admit in many occasions
First off, you are an absolutely gorgeous human!! Thank you sooo much for having the courage to share your story with the world! I have no doubt you are making a positive impact ❤
"I'm going to include a clip here of my pre transition voice..."
RUclips ad: "This dating app called bumble, hAvE yOu hEaRd oF iT?"
Lol I got a grub hub add for my fat ass
Lol
Yeah the girl from the ad has a deep (yet feminine) voice lol
Lmao I got a joe Biden ad
I got the liberty mutual one 😁 hilarious
As an asexual woman i feel trapped in modern society, because sex is everywhere. Literally everywhere. It's awful. I feel broken and alone all the time because i can't have a relationship.
I am not so sure there is such a thing as a "normal" relationship. Every relationship is different based on the people in them. We all seek a partner that compliments us. So I am sure there are many out there that feel the way you do. Perhaps, finding a group with like minded feelings can help you find the right person.
@@missMoonnfire "normal" as people who feel sexual attraction towards each other.
@@poisoned_soju1216 you stated you are asexual. I know there are many others out there that feel the same way. The thing is though, ask any elderly couple that has been together for a long time and you will quickly discover that sex is a really tiny part of a long term relationship. Sure it can be important if you are looking to start a family but in the long term, it really matters much less than other things that draw us together.
Trust me, the oposut end of the spectrum is just as confusing. Me and my partner have such high sex drives that it gets in the way of life and brings us both down at times. Or mutual friend is asexual and we wish we could find a balance somewhere.
sorry for asking, but if you are asexual then why is relationship so important? Im not saying sex is the only reason for a relationship, but doesnt asexual mean you arent even attracted to peoples physical appearance? Wouldnt a relationship as an asexual just be like... a really really strong friendship?
It is true social media can be cruel sometimes, but this brave journey of yours that you have showcased here, and all the brave comments in here, they are just so so much...all the goodness that every person going through self-questiong needs....its not a question of being old or young, white or black, trans or cis...its about accepting yourself and accepting all diversities within and outside us... whatever phase of life/ self-questioning/ transitioning/ growth,you are in, you are always worthy ... thanks for all the posiivity here!
That was one of the most heartfelt, honest and articulate videos I've ever watched on a young person's sexuality. I'm a 64-yr old hetero male, married to a wonderful woman x 35 yrs. I had an extremely liberal upbringing, and my 22-yr old son has 3 friends struggling w/ their sexual ID. My son offers these freinds unbiased support, as should we all.
I'm shook that testosterone permanently changes your voice like that, I would have just assumed THAT was the easiest thing to undo. I wish you the best.
Lol, no that's not how it works.
She can do therapy that'll help her try to get her voice back. Lots of trans women make their post puberty voices sound female so I'm sure she can do it
@@desireandfire her voice will never go back. Don't put out this false narrative to people out there who are thinking of transitioning but not really sure. This is a good example of what can happen when you're not really trans but do this. Go watch all of the detransitioners videos, they all have a permanent deep voice now. Elle Palmer...
@@doubleboy2388 You see it in women's bodybuilding. (Not in all instances.) This low voice...lower than mine...coming out of this woman's mouth is always a shocker.
@@doubleboy2388 i mean have you never heard of voice training? speech and language pathology? it is absolutely possible to train yourself to talk higher or lower. it just takes months if not years of hard work and consistent practice with good technique. it's not something that anyone probably wants to have to do, but don't lie to people and tell them it's impossible. TransVoiceLessons here on yt is a great resource.
I'd imagine that if you're being stared at its because you are strikingly pretty rather than people questioning your gender
True. I dont think she looked good as a guy but as a girl shes stunning
It’s crazy how she is as beautiful as she is handsome! She’s also very logical and I love the way this process was detailed as well as the encouraging words! Great job! ❤
Thank you for continuing to share your story. So many need you, so please keep speaking out..
They're staring because you're actually really pretty.
Indeed! I would probably be one of them thinking "I wish to be beautiful and cool as she is" 😭😂
they don’t want to be sexualized tho 😐
@@kiwisweet5520 do you think the people staring in coffee shops and on the street know that?
Gorgeous
A gorgeous human being period.
This is the history of how a woman turned into a lizard named Dolores.
I'm waiting for a movie.
haahahahaahahahahahaha
NSBSKSJS I CANT-
I don't remember turning into a lizard 😂
Dolores Connolly LMAO
Imagine living in a world where everyone praised you for trying to make ur self the opposite sex and they ridicule you if you actually try to go back to your ORIGINAL gender/sex.
Thanks for sharing this deep insight.
I didn’t had gender/sexuality doubt’s. But I had a LOT of back and fourth in other social circumstances like relationships and friendships. Still feeling like an alien more often than I would prefer. What I learned, if you can grow from mistakes they kinda were worth it. Just imagine never trying something and doubting your whole life, if that would have been your thing.
You’re one of the few people who could pull off all of those looks and make them look good.
Agreed👍
Ryan always look like a supermodel.
Pulling off the variety is impressive.
If somebody stares at you for too long, it's probably because they are thinking how gorgeous you are!
Or...
Stolen comment
100% this
Dito
Absolutely
Nothing wrong with being a female and likening “male” things or being a male that likes “female” things. But you are what you are and you will always be that no matter how much the doctors cut off or sew on.
I wanted to thank you for your brave and articulate video. Being a straight man Im about as far as a person can be from your situation , but your incredible self revealing story made me "feel" what its like to be in your shoes. By doing this, you've succeeded in what youtube is really all about. Btw, you're stunningly beautiful. Your struggles with real life issues makes you even more beautiful. Love to know you.
Damn girl you got so many hairstyles in this vid, and almost all of them are dope as hell
It sounds like you were going through totally normal teenage shit in a world that pressures us to do too much, too fast, too sexualized. There is so much pressure to be "feminine" or "masculine" in ways that do not matter, and while some have no problem conforming, a few of us do. You are a beautiful woman and a beautiful man, but I do not think you know this in your heart. I do hope you really get it that there is much more to life and living than how we look. For me, it has always been the person I am attracted to, not their plumbing. I couldn't care any less, so long as my lover/partner is OK with their own self. I hope you also know that you are worthy of love, loyalty, and affection regardless of your hair length or makeup. You are a brave person to share this. More power to you!
I agree but I would add a third type: those few who just do whatever they want because they genuinely don't care and societal pressure doesn't affect them. They are lucky. 💁
Bigotry
Suuure??? I guess.
Very well said
Shit, in America they force little kids to do it if ONE parent wants the transition.
I've never expercienced gender dysphoria but i can feel how deeply sad this is...but i'm proud of people like you that openly speak about it and letting everyone know that everything is not exactly how mass media is showing it. It just shows how much of a brave and big-hearted person you are.❤❤👏
Also reminder that you still look as beautiful as your pre-transition era❤
You have really put effort into figuring yourself out and I applaud u for taking the road that was right for u even when it was hard. I hope u find exactly what u r seeking in your future .
I tought people were joking when saying she turned onto a lizard in the end. Well. As long as you're happy
She is detransitioning into the lizard form. Part of the rulling elite :)
I can turn onto a car headlight just because i feel like it. As long as I am happy right ?
Andres Bolaños yessir.
@@ABCD-vm1mx ohhh you lefties😂😂. Where would we be without your unfounded train of thought 😂😂
Andres Bolaños im actually conservative, but I also mind my own fucking business, when people make decisions that don’t impact my life directly.
When you talked about not having to deal with being over sexualized as a woman... that hit close to home for me. When I was younger I thought I could be trans because of that, the way society (but especially family in my case) treated my gender. That was until I asked myself if I still would like to be a guy if society didn't exist, and I answeared no.
Same, I wanted to be a guy because of that, to this day I wear overseized clothes because If I wear fitting clothes guys stare at me (or say things to me) because of my breast or my entire body (Im latina and fit the stereotype of one except the tanned skin, you know the curvy body and all) and I hate that, being seen as an object or sexualized just because Im a woman pr being told that I belong in the kitchen and that if I have a strong character then Im a bitch but if a guy is like that then is a leader, same when I play videogames, they say go back to the kitchen, you know those things.
@veronica carlson Yes thats true, lucky for me I wasnt raised that way and that is strange for a lot of people, its absurd for a woman here to not want to be someones wife or hace children
The grass is always greener on the other side. You would just trade one set of problems for another.
@@humanoide7076 right? I'm so tired of being harassed, especially when walking around. In video games too, it bothered me to the point where I changed my username and don't use the mic
@@kevv7874 I know... but in my head I thought I'd be able to handle "guys issues" better than girls ones, but looking back now I'm not so sure about that. I guess I was just tired of being objectifyed/held back/harassed by so many, however I'm slowly learning how to deal with it and give my own "power" to myself again. In my vision i guess I wouldn't have to deal with this type of shit if I were a guy.
Hope that wasn't too vague lol but long story short i agree with you
This is such an important video for people to watch. Not just people who are planning to transition but even people who don't "understand this whole thing." Hearing this from you, being in your shoes with you and going on this journey with you somehow makes the whole concept a lot clearer. Most people forget that trans people are human beings just like anyone else. This video is eye opening to everyone.
Thanks for making this timeline. It highlights the modern obsession with 'self'. Before we could take selfies there was much less narcissism. We want to see ourselves as others see us but that elusiveness makes you chase an impossible dream. What else do you do with your life? It's what you DO that should define you, not what you look like, or even feel like. DOING something, other than constantly 'self-studying' would lead many like you to find fulfilment.
people have always been obsessed with themselves and others. consider all the historical beauty traditions around the world that turned out to be harmful. tell me there wasn't vanity in the 50s, the 80s, the 2000s etc that led people to smoke, starve, inject, or reconstruct. trans acceptance is part of a mental health conversation. we want to listen and accept people as who they are so that they may survive what they're going through, even if that ends in detransition.
this speaks so much about our society. fact that an asexual woman had to transition to feel a bit less sexualized. gorgeous person either way but does say a lot about how things are.
For a long time i wasnt sure what i was either till i started hearing about asexual people. Im very sure thats what i am but it been hard because so many argue its not a thing. I think its just that it hasn't been studied enough and people just dont understand it. I mostly keep it to myself but people i told almost always tell me that ill find someone and that feeling will go away but it hasnt changed and its not going to. its been hard understanding and accepting these feelings and it really doesnt help when people tell you its just something that will go away.
today lesbian women are sexualizing women as much as men are, my sister the other day was complaining about what sounded like a quiet sexual offense ,body language based sexual offense by a woman at the woman toilet !!!!!, just hearing that was like a signal of a whole new brand of fkdupness coming up.
@@captaincaveman2040 ya that seems like a healthy response. Please teach me more oh toxic one
You have learned much...Yet there is much to teach you.😌
Lmao "this says a lot about our society" you sound like one of those joker memes
Guys you do NOT have to change your gender just because your a female who like guy things or guy or like girl things. That why you HAVE to go through counseling to make sure this is the right thing for YOU. Cause it is not for everyone, it has irreversible effects. It’s okay to be a Tom boy, it’s okay to be a feminine guy, it’s not okay to permanently mess yourself up for the rest of your life. There are so so many people who detransition and the ones who were happy with the change truly had dysphoria and extremely negative feelings towards the natural born sex. So please people think before you do this. And I’m apart of the LGBT community and although some would have you think other wise but it IS somthing that needs to be diagnosed by a doctor, and there absolutely nothing wrong with that. Blessed be 🌛🌕🌜
and what you’re saying is exactly why we need to break down gender roles, expectations, and the over sexualization of female bodies. If we just gave everyone the respect and room to be who they are and express themselves how they want there would be a lot happier less stifled less confused people who feel whole in their gender identity whether cis or trans.
Nanami Haruka agreed
I connect with this because although I love women, I am also a pretty emotional man and am in touch with my feelings. I would never be attracted to a man, but I also cry and get emotional at a lot of things. I love all aspects of being with women and also love "dude" shit like woodworking, riding motorcycles, building things, gaming, etc. but I couldn't be a woman.
As a bisexual Tomboy I support this!
@@hudsonja which is sad that you have to defend yourself acting human. Emotions aren't sex related but our society makes it hard for men to openly show them. If you're sad, be sad. If you're happy, be happy. It does your health more damage hiding your emotions than letting them out. And there is nothing wrong for men to cry or be visually upset. Much love and keep being you.
You're absolutely gorgeous... Even with the short hair you're stunning, beautiful and very feminine. Thank you for sharing your story.
refreshing to hear a story from a detransitioner that doesnt put the trans community down, ive heard a little too many of those in my feed lately. :(
People stare at you because you’re stunning, in short or long hair. You’re a beautiful human, love yourself, and embrace who you really are. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Who she REALLY is, is what she was born at birth. Embrace it! And no, people were staring because it's unnatural
@@bigdeal5394 I’m no one to judge, and only God knows the childhood trauma that triggered the transition in the first place. Either way, when I wrote “people stare”, I was referring to this young person’s natural beauty (facial bone structure, eye color, and so on). Sad that you can’t see that, and encourage someone sharing their personal journey.
@@BWings-ub4ejYou noticed that. She’s looks absolutely gorgeous with short hair.
but i don't identify as a human
God never gets wrong. He made you a super beautiful girl!!
I've been mistaken for a guy so many times in my life. But I'm female and I just happen to not identify at all with the whole make-up and fashion side of things. And that is absolutely okay. Don't let culture define how you express who you are.
Same
Same here.
Same
I’m so sorry you got caught up in that. I am glad you’re ok, speaking out and I truly wish you well, a thousand times.
People are staring because you have an exquisite face. Worked both ways:)
Love the lizard.
I was born a female and voice is naturally much deeper than yours. If your voice bothers you, don't worry about it. There are so many of us out there!!!!! Keep strong!
Suuuuure..
this comment has literally nothing to do with anything. "If you like chocolate milk and it bothers you, don't worry about it! there are so many of us out there! keep strong!!!!"
Womanhood is so much deeper than how you look. I wish more young people understood this. thank you for sharing your story. you are courageous.
how "deep" womanhood is has literally nothing to do with this or with anything trans related. it doesn't matter whether more young people agree with you. so few are transgender, i have to wonder why you even post this. unless you are yourself transgender, this subject has nothing to do with you and you have no meaningful opinion regarding it whatever.
So first a transition then a detransition then metamorphosis into a bearded Dragon. Some courageous adventure.
They can’t even understand long term consequences till at least 25. It seems like medical abuse.
Woman-hood, just a word to describe what you wish to be but can't
Sad story to me is ellen page also
I wholeheartedly think you still look fabulous, this whole thing must’ve taken a tremendous amount of stress on you. Congrats on finding who you are!
I admire your courage to go wherever it is you felt your journey had taken you.
Goodness, what a gorgeous looking human no matter the gender orientation. I hope you know you're beautiful.
89소피 *gender identity
Yeah right!!??
A Beautiful Soul💗
RIGHT! I wish I looked that good (as man or woman). You are being stared at because you are attractive either way.
Just to put it out there - men are never "gorgeous". We're "ugly", "average", "good looking" or "handsome". Sure, some may be consider themselves "fabulous" but that's a very distinct minority.
I definitely would've regretted transitioning if I had gone with my instinct to do so as a teenager, and I DID have gender dysphoria ever since I was a little kid. But now at 23 I just don't think transitioning would have been right for me and I'm glad I didn't. I'm just me! Living with what I've got, doing what I feel like doing with it. Vibing. This is just a temporary flesh vessel for my brain living in a world of made-up stereotypes based on the shape your body ended up being on a coin toss and I've got bigger things to worry about.
Learning to accept ourselves and be comfortable in our bodies is the most important part of maturing. Sure things like plastic surgery exist but it leads to a bigger issue of never being satisfied with ourselves. There is a far deeper issue there.
Personally, transitioning for me saved my life
What a beautiful, grounded perspective ❤
You're my hero. You are so right. That was short, bold and to the point! I don't know if you realize it yet bro, but you Rock! You expressed yourself beautifully. Wow, when it's the truth there's literally nothing anyone can say? Awesome 👌
@@meaculpa7779 Exactly! you're so young, how'd you get to be so wise...
I really appreciate you making this video so people can learn about this sort of thing
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I've also detransitioned from ftm back to female and I absolutely hate the depth of my voice from being on T. I've been doing vocal therapy to brighten my voice and change the pitch back to something closer to my pre t voice and it's really helping. I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone detransitioning back to female or any trans women who feel dysphoric about their voices xx
Just tell people you're a heavy smoker. 🤷♂️
nothing's wrong with you, I've never had sex and I'm 30. I am in a 2 and half year relationship. We are extremely attracted to each other, even sexually, but not ready for consequences, so we don't. Before him, I didn't even want a relationship--ever--I never wanted to get married, have kids, etc, so I was not romantic either. (I'm growing to like it as he is romantic). And I still wear pijamas and don't do my hair. Don't know how to do a lot of "lady-like" things, but that doesn't make me any less feminine. My essence is feminine. That's all I need.
Amen to that sister 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Lol. Beta males. Forever in the friend zone 🤣
This is awesome. Sending you best wishes and respect 😊
yea, just be you at this point. I'm glad you found someone who gets that.
consequences??
you definitely rock both genders.
Grimaldus Dark idk testosterone does a lot of wonders. a lot. i’m glad she found what makes herself most comfortable.
Grimaldus Dark There’s nothing wrong with having feminine features as a man. Plenty of people are into guys like that. Furthermore, the choice to transition should be based on it feeling right to you, not on how you’re perceived or whether or not you pass
That’s what I’m saying
So jealous because I want to be a pretty girl but have this Danny Trejo face 🤮
@Grimaldus Dark some people like femine features in men.... she never looked like a boy... if she transitioned more, she might've looked more like a "man"
@Grimaldus Dark testosterone would have fixed the jaw over time...just saying glad she's happy though
All of the best to you. Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you comfort as you continue to understand yourself more deeply. You are striking. If you find yourself uncomfortable when people seem to be looking at you, while it may not be something you want, recognize that they most likely find you alluring. Don't assume the worst. People are attracted to things they want around them for reasons other than just sex. We are sexual creatures, but there are other attractive properties as well.
Don't be too concerned about vocal changes, women with smokier voices are very attractive. I hope other perminant issues are are easy to deal with.
Like I said I wish you the best in this journey we call life.
Thank you for posting hopefully this helps lots of younger people to just listen, maybe wait till they are older xxxx
As a trans guy, I'm happy for you and wish you the best. Your journey is as important as any other person's. Thanks you for sharing it
This journey wouldn't happen if a professional doctor would be involved.
@@j.s.2490 Doctors that aid in the transition should be jailed.
@@sablechicken uh.. no..?
@@sablechicken shut up
@@utharaunnikrishnan2562 What are you trying to say? It is hard to understand you with your muzzle on...keep following your doctors orders...it helps keep him rich.
"here's a clip of me with my pre-trans voice."
Immediately cuts to Liberty Mutual ad with the Emu yapping. 🤣🤣 That's a big difference!
I've been a tomboy my whole life. We go through thinking being a male would be easier, as tomboys. I play guitar, ride motorcycles, shoot guns, played sports in my youth, work in a male-dominated field, and I have a male husband. A tomboy isn't any less female, we just gravitate to "male role" interests.
You look like Shannen Doherty from 90210 - you're actually much prettier than she ever was!
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m pleased to see you doing well.
Kids are heavily caught up in social media and trends especially TikTok since it’s normalized so much.
I mean, it should be seen as normal and not as „weird“ or „disgusting“. Plus it isn’t even a trend, it has existed since forever. The topic was just taboo back in the days, and the people were killed and silenced because „it‘s a sin“. Now that more and more countries become more liberal, less people are afraid of expressing themselves, which is why most elders think that it‘s something „new“.
But yea you should really think through whether you wanna take them or not. I was about to, but decided that i didn‘t want it. I don‘t 100% see myself as a girl but more as something neutral because i hate the separation between boys and girls, and i don‘t really care about how other people see me either. Plus i still love feminine things, my voice and my body, so i‘ll stick with it. But that shouldn‘t invalidate the people who go through the transition progress just because some people realise that it wasn‘t something for them. It‘s a tough phase, and i respect the people who transition into the person they wanna be seen as. There are many trans people out there who went through the process and are proud to be trans, detransitioning is pretty rare compared to the other number.
"Just because you are transitioning doesn't mean you are creating a different person. It's not an escape, you're supposed to be embracing who you actually are"
This is a really nice quote, and excellent advice for anyone who might be considering transitioning.
I think it could be said that "embracing yourself" is a strong theme throughout your whole channel, and its that theme that makes your videos so interesting to me. Your videos have such a genuine, human feeling that makes you feel incredibly relatable, despite me not actually having much in common with you.
All i notice, is you looked so much happier as a girl before everything. In all your boy pics you look so sad. 🥺💔 As a mom, that broke my heart. Good luck with your journey. 💕
true! and i'm very used to see this going the other way around, so this video just made me a little bit more of a essentialist lol
All the scars we get in life are the ones that make us who we are, don't hate anything about yourself, because you're beautiful
you're really brave to share your story. nowadays this kind of experiences are hidden by a big part of the community because they think that can be dangerous for the reputation of trans community but i think that is really important to hear stories like yours. we have to see the other side of everything to really understand it, not just the perfect side. i hope you're having a good time right now
De-transitioners account for around 2% of transitioners, and MOST of them go on to re-transition later. Of course, they have special needs that should be addressed. But it's no reason to deny healthcare to the other 98%.
This hits hard. Growing up I wanted to be a guy so much, and that feeling only grew stronger through my teenage years. I learned that I was Bi-Sexual, hated make-up, liked video games(back then only male gamers were well known), and dressed as a guy. I was embarrassed to be female because femininity was so foreign to me. It took years of therapy to reach the point of self-acceptance and to understand how my childhood played a major role in my self identity. Long story short, I wanted to transition for the wrong reasons, and I'm glad I didn't. I had a friend growing up that transitioned(Male to Female) and for the first time in their life, they are happy and confident with who they are, both on the inside and outside. I'm glad you made the decision that made you most happy. Cheers.
you sound like the reel deal of one of the dope girls back in the day. the wierd one in their group of friends, or the girl that is not like every other girl. i wish we hung out when we were younger, i love misfits. honestly, i dont htink you realise how jealous people truely are of your childhood. cootos on being true to yourself during childhood and not falling for peer pressure.
the fact that we hyper sexualize women from a very young age from the beginning seems to be a huge issue that is pushing people into all kinds of wrong paths. if we as a society weren't doing that, and we were just 'being' with members of the opposite sex, spending time to get to know them...withOUT SEX until marriage...just determining if they are a good PERSON, if you enjoy time with them...MINUS the sex issue...it's called COURTSHIP. That one simple switch in our society would delete a massive amount of societies ills.
I agree with the first half.
I totally agree.
It is so sad that sex sells, and it has been used as a weapon against us. Girls and young women end up receiving a message that being a woman means they have to look sexy. This can be very uncomfortable at the wrong age, and or situation. Leading a girl to wonder why she feels so out of place. Transgenderism seems like a fix, because it makes being a man look like a way to be seen for more than just sex appeal.
Sadly every FtM transgender that I have asked, "What does it mean to be a man?" can not answer that question with anything other than looks. Young people should be developing their character by building up relationships with family and friends. Now we are in a situation where this cult of transgenderism is taught in schools and the first act of bravery is to reject and separate one's self from family and friends that question why he or she thinks they are transgender. We are in a real bad spot now....I am not sure how this can be turned around.
you had us in the first half
Why do people think boys don't deal with hyper sexualization, as well?
@@mojimoji3545 because a man can go into public wearing pretty much anything without virtually every single woman wanting to pounce on him like a piece of meat. Women are sexualized in many ways but simply existing in public is one of them. Myself and many other women experience harassment from men almost daily whereas the males ik amd even ask admit they never experience that, flirting and lust which men get vs harassment which women mostly get are completely different.
Hey everything happens for a reason. Glad you’re putting this out there for others. And the end of the video was interesting to me because you look absolutely beautiful. Very feminine looking. But I’ll say some prayers for ya and the rest of your journey. Remember we’re all a little lost on this planet no one has it all figured out.
I think this video is inspiring for many people, detransitioning, transitioning, younger people going through the natural puberty, or all adults who want to reflect their teenage years. Thank you!
We need therapy, PROFESSIONAL therapy is needed in everyone's life, cis trans, everyone has problems and we need to resolve them for our own sake.
the older generations' lifestyles(diet especially)paved the way for their future children...and things are getting worse. we have absolutely no respect for Nature,our food only fills us up,while slowly messing up our chemistry. capisci?
We need ,,,, bushtit if you want to trans ;; you can when you leave home get a job .and grow up ...,,,,,,, and pay for shit ,,,.
Yep
Helps us to sort out the internal thoughts
It really makes me sad that a lot of young people dont understand that its normal to have confusion and issues around identity and sexuality in your teenage years. Its part of puberty, and people have known it for centuries. Its a huge mistake for most people to make life altering decisions in that period of you life.
Totally eye opening can't believe how feminine you looked before, then how male you looked with testosterone and back to feminine
I almost got sucked into this cult of transgenderism. Glad you came back. Sorry for the loses.
You are so beautiful! And, more importantly, you are brave. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I pray that you find true joy in life and in who you are. On a side note, you may want to consider consulting with a licensed homeopath as they may be able to help you regain your former voice (or to some degree).
I love how she says Howdy every time 😂😂😂
Yea I wonder how she got it. Like if it’s a thing she worked on.
Howdy pardner! Honestly every time I imagine her stomping around in her cowboy boots and tipping her cowboy hat xD
Yee haw
@@cerberv5040 I imagine sandy cheeks
@@thesilentminority961 shes from the country, if you can't hear the accent
You know. You can actually train your voice back to high-pitch with sheer effort and routine practicing
I mean, trans women do train their voice to look feminine, so I am sure she can do it too! It's not going to be easy but it's doable
It also won’t go back to being as high as it was since T thickened her vocal chords
I think she said in another video she's doing "voice training".
yea i learned that in second grade and now i have a voice deeper than all the other girls lol
I think her voice is beautiful the way that it is. Seeing someone be empowered to "do whats right for [her] and screw what everybody else thinks. As long as [she's] happy that's all that matters" is inspiring and beautiful. She sounds confident and happy and whatever voice makes her feel that way is right for her. Everyone else should find a way to support her right to choose/find her own voice and be happy for her 💕
Thank you for posting this. The thing about people feeling disphoria is that the power of suggestion is truly immense. There is hardly a kid alive who does not go through analogous feelings in puberty. There are fears, discoveries, and apprehensions about an outcome that is essentially unknown for everyone. That is life. Just look at any sixth/seventh grade class. I do blame adults. They could affirm the child's biological gender and deal with the emotions instead of employing this physical wrecking ball.
Not having sex as a teenager & even until marriage was & is normal in my world. Sounds like had peer pressure to be sexual & sexualized. Sad. -- As a woman, I never have done the dresses & makeup. I still don't wear makeup & currently sitting here in my husband's pants (big pockets). Sad also that stereotyping of gender roles is being so pushed on youth. Thanks for sharing your experience.
What I hear throughout your conversation with us is something that I've been seeing in the culture for a while now. There is an issue with people being comfortable developing real friendship and being able to experience real, genuine intimacy within friendship that doesn't require sex or even romance. We need to reclaim real friendship. I hope you find that in your life.
I saw you a long time ago, going thru this & found you to be so down to earth & smart…and beautiful. It’s good to see you today, and hear you’re doing so well. Ever onward! 🩷💕👏🏼
I like how respectful towards the trans community you are, unlike all the other videos and articles I watched and read that only blamed and shamed trans people.
Thats because Trumpers get adrenaline highs from being shitastic.
@@smithhoowe "See I told you trans blah blah blah bad blah blah"
-Trumpster
I feel the same way, this is genuinely so refreshing to see
She ke - most people don’t live in America, keep your TDS to your self.. it’s easier to deal with than what these people are experiencing.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's very valuable for us to find out "what's wrong".
I'm a man. When I was 13, I kissed a boy from my class. I'm not gay, nor bi, nor was he. We're both married to our long-time girlfriends, we both have kids. It was just a weird moment, my "attraction" lasted for about a week. I was never attracted to any other man again. Being a teen is weird.
Admittedly, it would have amounted to nothing anyway, because being gay doesn't change your body, but there you go. It's a weird time. You should probably not warp your body for however you feel when you're in your teens.
In your younger pics you were a beautiful young lady. When you transitioned you were quite a cutie pie dude. Now that you are detransitioning, and yes even with short hair you are still beautiful 😊
I'm so glad you didn't feel that your transition was final since you felt after a while everything still wasn't quite right. I'm proud of you for knowing it's ok to go back. Either way you are human, and beautiful and loved ❤
big mystakes were made weren't they?
2:13
"I'm going to include a clip of my pre-transition voice for you..."
Sudden manly voice interruption
"LET'S PLAY RAID SHADOW LEGENDS"
Lmao
The ad that came up for me was a pregnancy test lmao
Mine cut to Joe Biden O_O
Mine was that guy that talks about "the one food" for guys that boosts metabolism and increases testosterone.
Joe Trotsky - I see that ad alll the time!! Turmeric is “the one food”, I’d say it’s more of a spice but.. 🤣🤷🏻♀️
There's something in the look in your eyes when you were a man that reminds me of myself while studying my career, I didn't like it, I just kept going because I knew I already did a bad choice wich already costed me a lot of time, money and effort for me to stop at that point. The difference is that in the case of detransitioning you cannot just regrow your body parts, you made a bad choice for yourself and now the consequences are something to live for the rest of your life, this is exactly why transitioning in children shouldn't be a thing.
Huge respect for sharing your journey so far. For what it's worth you look great with both short hair and long. I hope you have found some contentment now.
I also am really proud of her!!!
Weren't there psychologists saying: you don't have disphoria?
Haven't finished the video yet but to me it looks like disphoria. The constant unhappiness with her/himself
In a longer video they didn't see a therapist due to bad experiences prior.
Yes!!! That's what I'm saying, getting hormons should be given after a very long and thorough analysis.
It is not
Do you have to Go to a psychologist i mean i Know that in Germany you have to Go If you want that the health insurance pays but as far AS i Know in most other countries you have to pay IT yourself
No sweetie, you’re just beautiful, that’s why they stare
True tho shes so pretty i cant
I agree. I don't think a low voice makes a woman unattractive at all and that's the only really "masculine" thing about her. I'd like to point out that many natal women have naturally low voices. She's gorgeous and I'd never think she's male.
Exactly
She is cute
Everyone’s journey is unique, thanks for sharing yours!
The problem is labels, you are you, that's all.
this is very true. for the longest time i felt like i had to fit into this,, box,, and i identified as trans n shit but then i finally got over that. i know non binary now and i feel so confident in myself now because im defined by everything but my gender. from noe on, i'll be deciding what i want to change about myself for me and only me.
YES!!! I hate this agenda of forcing people to choose to be x y or z. Let people just BE.
Gosh THIS. For me it was sexuality. I was never dreaming aboug having sexual relationship with anyone, but I just dont want to label myself as straight, ace, or even the umbrella term queer. I just dont want a label at all. Just let me be me. If I choose to date a boy or a girl or anyone then so be it. That wont label me, because I am me
@@BlazerT48 so they they can box you in and control you.
Preach!