Awwww, this is wonderful to see you on this video, Elle!! This warms my heart seeing you here ready to embrace and support!! I knew she was talking about your videos right away when she was describing them! I’m so glad you’ve both made your videos and continue to make videos educating ppl and being so very open and brave!! I’m not trans, but I watch these videos to try to educate and inform myself, to just listen to everyone’s stories and be supportive. The videos you two, and many more, make are desperately needed and are probably really helping so many ppl, pls don’t stop!! It would be really cool if you two could collab, as well as other detransition creators!! Stay strong & keep your chin up!! ❤️❤️
I’m so glad to see the two of you have “met,” now :) A week before this post I suggested on this section that Elle might be who Ryan was trying to think of in this video. I hope you’re both doing well ❤️
I remember watching your detransitioning video, it's honestly beautiful to see two individuals finding they aren't so alone in the world with a struggle.
@@mightybasedzao3057 Though I feel like your tone is a bit hostile, you're not wrong 😂 .. Most societies have always been insanely transphobic and unkind to people who deviate from gender norms, as a result it's almost certain that every trans person grew up with a sense that they are unacceptable in some fundamental ways and that internalised transphobia can be so deeply rooted that we'd mistaken it for our own inner critic. I'm a trans guy and growing up in asia with very strongly defined gender expectations and parents who are traditional in this regard, deeply messed me up hahaah. I transitioned at 21 three years ago after pretty catastrophic fights with my parents when I came out to them at 19. I always had very realistic expectations for transitioning, I guess. Which was why although I was desperate to get T I also wasn't... necessarily happy. Because I know it wasn't going to solve my problems, it will just make leaving the house more bearable. I think my relatively trauma-less life amplified the internally inflicted trauma as a result of the misogyny, cis/heteronormativity, transphobia due to the social environment i grew up in plus a common case of childhood emotional neglect. I really only recently started to pin point why I've always felt so... lonely growing up, and still feel lonely and incapable of dating even though I have a lot of friends and is not necessarily emotionally or socially inept. I think it makes sense now, because it is quite profoundly lonely to feel like you're the only person in the world you know that feels the way you do about your sex and gender. I believe that's a feeling most trans people can identify with in some way, not to mention that a lot of us have also had to deal with bullying or abuse. So yea... I guess my point is.. I think a lot of trans people have a hard time being able to process or deal with trauma growing up because of the sense of isolation and not feeling seen or understood as a person. Whatever shit that happens in their life they will have to deal with it while carrying this additional baggage constantly.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Lots of red flags here. A competent gender therapist is imperative. A lot of people complain about the “gatekeepers,” but they serve a critical role that’s being minimized too much these days. The WPATH standards are critical to follow to help prevent people who aren’t trans from transitioning. It never ends well. Transition won’t solve anything other than help relieve gender dysphoria and help align your body & mind better. So if you don’t see yourself as the opposite biological sex and don’t have gender dysphoria, you shouldn’t be transitioning. It’s not some kind of magic bullet. When any of us older transsexuals say any of this, though, we get attacked as siscum transmedicalists. I can’t tell you how many death threats I’ve had just from saying how there’s a process that needs to be followed, or for calling out red flags. But way too many people _who aren’t trans_ are transitioning these days, and it’s really dangerous. It shouldn’t be easy. For an actual transsexual, it can be life saving - it saved my life. But it requires an immense amount of self work. Being trans isn’t a choice, you either are or you aren’t. Most aren’t, and that’s a good thing. I wished all my life, prior to transition, that I didn’t have to deal with this. None of us wanted this. If someone feels they have a choice or are doing this as a fashion or political statement, they should stop immediately. *People should NOT transition unless it’s their only choice.*
MightyBasedZao For actual, real transsexuals, there’s no higher incidence of trauma unless they faced lack of acceptance from family, friends or themselves, from a religion, or from going through mental gymnastics trying to deny their gender dysphoria. What I see most these days are people who aren’t even trans who are dealing with trauma and mental / emotional issues who _think_ they’re trans and think it will somehow fix their problems. It won’t, it will only further confuse things. I never had any abuse or trauma myself aside from the spiritual trauma of being told how horrible LGBT people were growing up, and hearing how horrifically society spoke about trans people and knowing I had these issues. This was during the 80s and 90s when we really were treated poorly. Trans people weren’t really discussed at all unless it was as part of a joke. Things really became problematic once the social justice woke crowd adopted trans issues and started taking that whole thing over. Things were, in many ways, better when it wasn’t discussed so widely everywhere. Bring trans isn’t “cool,” trans people aren’t “brave.” We’re just people doing what we need to in order to survive. They’ve done us no favors by doing what they’ve done. The worst are the über woke “allies” who think they’re helping trans people.
I was always complaining as a kid that I wanted to be a boy. The only reason I said that, was because the boys were allowed to climb trees and had the best toys. Later I suffered from mental illness after experiencing sexual abuse and talked to a doctor about transitioning and having all my sexual organs removed. The reason why I wanted to do this, was because I feared men (because of the abuse) and I feared having men be attracted to me. I'm glad I didn't transition, because now, after 37 years of trying to overcome my problems, I am extremely happy to be married to an amazing man that I do not fear in the least, and look forward to having my own children. I dread the thought of what I could have done to myself.
Not all trans people share your reasons. I was 2 years old and knew something was wrong before I even understood what gender was. I've suffered with gender dysphoria all my life. I didn't want to be a boy scout or wear boys clothes or play with toys traditionally assigned to males because they were better. Still, transitioning would have been wrong for me, but NOT because my gender isn't male. You can't call transitioning a mistake for everyone, just because it doesn't work out or isn't the right path for some of us.
When you're young you worry about what people think of you. When you get a little older, you stop caring what they think of you. When you get even older you realize they weren't thinking about you in the first place.
Ive heard that our brains need until the age of 25, to be fully developed physically & emotionally, so that socially we're ready. OFF topic: This is why the military recruiters go ham on people that are 17-18 yrs old. Realistically most 21-25 yr olds would refuse to join the military. Their demographic is an 18 yr old who still has a strong sense of right & wrong, that still thinks in black & white, or good & bad. Most 18 yr olds havent quite experienced much of the adult decision making skills, where there exists THREE or more decision options to ANY plan or PROBLEM. For example, l can think of at least FOUR different solutions to ANY problem or choice. a Good choice a Better choice the Best choice and/or NO choice
I had to learn earlier than most to stop giving a fuck about what people thought of me. I always was socially awkward and didn't feel like I fit in with other people, I struggled a lot with making friends as a child. I was friendless at school, I had selective mutism so I felt anxiety and couldn't even speak, which lead me to being called names or being accused of "faking it", and when I wanted to try to overcome my fear of speaking to my classmates, I was concerned about the reactions I would get for defying the expectations they had on me. I did my best effort, and by the time I reached 4th grade I took the courage to finally speak to a new classmate and was integrated to a friend group, but that didn't diminish my insecurities and I spent a good portion of my childhood overthinking the things I should say or obsessing about past interactions and being highly critical of myself. When I was about 13 years old, I transfered into another school, and I made the resolution to stop caring about what other people think, because it's unhealthy and I only hurt myself. It was the right thing to do, I became more self-assured and allowed myself to be more spontaneus in conversations instead of over-analysing every little thing, which helped me make friendships with other people easier. Today I see many young people constantly seeking for validation, and thinking the only way to be happy in by being "validated" by strangers. You hear it all the time on social media, the "you're valid" thing, "this is valid, that is valid"... NO ONE holds the power to tell someone else whether you're "valid" or not. I wish children and teens could learn to love themselves in a healthy way, without seeking validation or attention from others, but unfortunatly social media creates a constant need for the latter.
@@infiniteepoch8 I just find it a sad fact that there are so many people dissatisfied with themselves to the point where they get surgery. Facial plastic surgery is also disheartening in the same way
As a psych nurse and a member of the healthcare community, I think it’s an absolute travesty that therapy and psych evaluations are not the first line of recommendations by MDs. I hate that mental health is still so stigmatized. It is also monstrous that some MDs and plastic surgeons make a lot of money off of these individuals without any regard for their physical or mental health. We have to do better.
@@paulas2218 Everyone else says it's a lot harder than that to get hormones, so she must have been a crack in the system. Other people go through counseling first, so maybe it's the place she went to that was bad.
@@WindyDays2009 The person who went to court recently in the UK was said to have only had 3 one hour therapy sessions before being given hormone treatment. This was UK private care. There has also been a case in US where a clinic was closed down by trans activists because the doctor insisted in proper diagnosis instead 'believe trans'. It 's like these activists are asking for enabling of self diagnosis over actual diagnosis and proper safe guarding, and the market is buckling under that push.
They are making counseling brfore transitioning illegal. Calling it conversion therapy if the counselor dares to suggest there might be something else that could help.
I was able to do it without seeing a therapist. I made an appt with my PCP and she asked if I wanted to start hormones that day. I was very surprised. I was prepared to go through extensive therapy before getting hormones. I agree more should be done on this.
It's almost scary how on-demand hormones. Like a therapist should help a lot. I'm MTF and go I to Planned Parenthood what does basic HRT they just give you hormones and don't even really test your hormone levels.
My takeaway: people are really fearful of being wrong, of not knowing and making mistakes. We tell ourselves we should be sure about who’s the love of our life, our dream career, our sexual orientation… SURE about EVERYTHING. But it’s okay to explore, discover, experiment. Instead of judging us for dedicating time to something not permanent. Nothing is permanent, it’s okay to wonder. Obviously impulsive decisions are a problem too, but accepting we didn’t took the best path for us is more important than being always right… NO ONE is always right. We put inhuman standards over us. Let’s be kinder.
The removal of healthy organs is permanent, is not just about discovering some stuff... not every idea is a great one and should be acted upon just to find out if it's good or a mistake.
6:28 she says “Omg this is awesome. I’m somebody else.” That’s a red flag because when you start chest binding and transitioning socially you should be thinking “omg this is awesome. I’m finally myself.” Stay strong luv. Sending healing and positive vibes your way. You’re beautiful.
Sienna Waters that’s a really inconsiderate take on transitioning. If dysphoria is as debilitating as many trans people say it is, transitioning is not just a superficial idea: it’s a necessity for them to be able to function in a body that matches their perception of themself
Madam Luis that’s your opinion, but there is scientific evidence that trans people’s brains are more similar to the gender they identify as rather than the gender that they were assigned at birth. It’s not that they are pretending to be someone they aren’t, they’re just trying to make their outward appearance match what they know they are internally. Your opinion is irrelevant if science disproves it.
@@madamluis2537 everybody has the right to their own opinion, but a lot of what you're saying is factually wrong. Transition seems to help trans people to be happier in the overwhelming mayority of cases. Also, when you said "huge boobs, wigs and high heels" you seem to be describing more a Drag Queen than a trans person. Not the same (unless being a woman is equal to being a Drag Queen). Also, when you said trans women keep their penis because they know they're men, how can you know that? For me it looks like you're just assuming that based on who knows what. I think this is all a manifestation of a more basic dilemma: Some people say trans people don't really exist, while trans people claim they exist. The harsh truth is that we can't really know (for what I know the brain tests aren't really that conclusive, there's an overlap on male and female brains). But society won't move forward unless we're willing to trust each other a little more. If trans people achieve happiness trough transition, who are we to judge them? It's a life choice and we shouldn't look down on them for it, specially when is such a hard one that requires so much courage (mind you, being trans ain't easy... but a lot of their problems arise precisely from being rejected by society).
@@madamluis2537 ok so you obviously haven't done your research. Voice dysphoria goes away for the most part or even completely once your voice gets deeper. Same for other areas that you have dysphoria in. I know I'm a man, and transitioning makes me feel comfortable in my skin. If I was to live as the sex I was assigned at birth, I would never be happy because I wouldn't be living as my true self, which is male. That would be living the lie. I am on testosterone and more comfortable in my body and the happiest I've ever been. I couldn't even talk to people because of my voice dysphoria, and it's why I didn't have friends or a job. Now my voice is way deeper and I can finally have conversations with people and feel like myself because my inside voice is finally matching the outside.
@@madamluis2537 if you aren't transgender, it can be hard to understand. There are scientific studies behind this. Scientific brain scans prove that transgender male's brains have similar anatomy to a cis males. The chemicals are that of a cis male, rather than a female. This goes vise versa for trans women as well. Not to mention, people who de-transition do so because their brain anatomy matches their sex assigned at birth. Due to this, they would have dysphoria after transitioning, rather than before. People who are actually transgender have gender dysphoria before, and transitioning relieves that dysphoria. Just the fact that people de-transition if they aren't really trans in the first place, should be enough to you to prove that gender dysphoria exists. I know some people will never understand, but my inside is finally starting to match my outside thanks to testosterone. I am the happiest I've ever been. No longer suicidal because I can live life as my true, authentic self now. When I get surgery it will be even better, and I am so thankful for everything I have and the journey I am on. I don't even tell people I'm trans unless I'm dating them because I want to be seen as a cis male in society. People's view on you changes, and I just wanna be seen as the man I am. Maybe one day you will meet a real trans person and your opinion will change. You can even be friends with someone now who is trans but likes to keep that private, like me. I hope my words spoke to you in a positive way. All that matters to me is that I am happy and living my authentic life.
Thats not the case in this instance. There is huge pressure from the far left, most of who are not trans who think they know what is best for trans people but who do not represent trans people, who are trying to make it illegal for health professionals to question someone's self-identification to ensure the best outcome for patients on an individual basis because they don't care about, for example, borderlines who prob make up a good deal of cases like this.
We cisgen straight folk are really lucky. I can't imagine myself trapped with therapists and medics and jabs, then making irreversible body changes i can't trust
I feel like so many young people will hear about gender transition, and beleive that it’ll solve all of their problems, but then once they transition they realise that they aren’t any happier than they where before.
That's why people are supposed to have counseling/ therapy with qualified medical professionals before they begin physical/ hormonal transition. I'm actually not sure how she was able to get hormones without that because for every trans person who I've ever heard their story they all had to go through counseling/ therapy before they could go on hormone replacement therapy (hrt). I'm by no means a qualified medical professional, but from everything she was saying about her story, it iswas very obvious to me as a lay person that she was not a good candidate for hrt, so any legit medical practioner should have easily seen that too. Also, there are many things in life which people (especially young people) might think will solve all of their problems. Alcohol and drugs come to mind as make-shift solutions that people often try out as a "quick fix".
There's gatekeeping for a good reason. I'm fully transitioned and never going back. I began my transition 17 years ago. I'd hate for someone to transition when it's inappropriate.
@@coralovesnature this is happening only in the US, where money is more important than health. here in italy for example since we have universal health system(but Really high taxes),the whole transition including surgeries and plastic surgeries are for free, but the candidate are heavily scrutinized via counseling and therapy. i heard here on youtube about a girl who received hormons after a phone call.. i cannot believe that the whole opioid epidemic which is totally fault of the doctors and the purdue has not teach any lessons to your health professionals. those doctors are scum of the earth
We all have things we have done in the past and been like, well that didn’t end up how I thought it would... some things more drastic than others. This is a drop in the bucket compared to... say, the girl that made herself blind with drain cleaner because she wanted to be blind since she was a child.
As a straight male, I stumbled across this video, and listened to the whole thing! Kudos to you for sharing your situation and allowing us to delve into it.
Same here! first the one with her singing a country song popped up in my recommendations randomly (also totally worth a watch) then i saw this one and watched the whole thing
Yeah, I watched to see if uploader would give a message about being sure before transitioning in the first place. I’m comfortable and never questioned myself personally, but was curious and I like to get into peoples psych to understand them and how it feels to be in their shoes, all sorts of experiences, male female, trans, gay, etc. A lot of things are a bit difficult to wrap my head around and grasp, but I try not to be judgmental so I need to understand where they’re at and coming from to accomplish that.
"I was never uncomfortable with my gender"- that says it all! Groups on the internet (especially sites like Tumblr) have romanticised and (for want of a better word) appropriated what it is to be transgender and turned it into something that makes you special and unique; a catch-all for anyone who feels different and outcasted in society. When actual trans people speak out and say that no, gender dysphoria is an incredibly debilitating condition, it is not something to be idolised, and those who feel limited by the roles of their gender (but do not experience gender dysphoria) are not trans they're simply a tomboy or a feminine man and should work towards being confident expressing themselves as they are- they have been called truscum or told they have "internalised transphobia." The fact that random individuals on the internet who have made a mockery of what it is to be transgender then turn around and tell actual trans people they have internalised transphobia is just disgusting. And it's these individuals who sucker in people like yourself- people who are unsure of who they are- and they offer you a community and a label and a way to heal (transition) with this glitzy, glamorized ideal of what it is to be trans. And they tear down and shame anyone who says otherwise, making people feel they have to walk on eggshells whenever the topic is brought up (ironically actual trans people tend to be very open and accepting of people asking questions or making mistakes but their reputation is being tarnished by these hateful transtrenders). Medical practitioners and genuine trans people have been saying for years that there are going to be MANY teenagers of this generation who will realise they have made a terrible mistake and will detransition. And we're starting to see it happen. It damages the lives of people like yourself who were led down the wrong path and now have to deal with the consequences of taking hormones and it damages the reputation of genuine trans people who have to deal with the haters who claim "look at all these people detransitioning- transition never works- trans isn't real." All because the internet decided tomboys can't exist anymore and instead any woman who has any traditionally male interests must be a trans man or any man who likes makeup must be a trans woman. The reality is they are not trans, they are simply an individual. With their own tastes and style, which may go against the typical gender norm. And that's ok. Let people be people. And let's go back to defining the boundaries of what it means to be transgender- GENDER DYSPHORIA- so that no one else is wrongfully labelled and given treatment they shouldn't be having, and transtrenders can stop clogging up the gender identity clinics with years long waiting lists that are preventing actual trans people from getting the vital treatment they need.
This also seems to be stemming from the treatment of transition itself. Denying reality and saying you are THE opposite isnt helpful. Presenting as whatever you want, engaging with whatever choices, or interests that you want, but understanding that male and female dont dictate preferences, should be treatment. Get surgery if that helps with dysphoria, but then again, anorexia patients arent given gastric bypass. Patients with body integrity disorder arent amputated on.
@@llIlIlllII I agree there needs to be stricter measures in place and transition should not be given to everyone who walks into a gender identity clinic. However for the majority of GENUINE trans people transition is incredibly helpful as it alleviates gender dysphoria. At present it is by far the best treatment available. With family support it creates happy, well adjusted individuals, able to finally live as they should. Look at NikkiTutorials, transition was clearly the ideal course of treatment for her. The same is true for many trans people. I'll also point out that being trans isn't about interests, choices or preferences- and that's the problem with the internets widening of the parameters to include those things- it has allowed transtrenders to flood in. Gender dysphoria cuts MUCH deeper than that. If someone is speaking only in terms of interests or preferences they're not a trans person. They simply have a divergent gender expression.
Perfectly put. I transitioned in 2006, and although in some ways there was a lot less support and very few trans role models, it meant that transition was generally an absolute last resort that you wouldn’t want to do unless you really had to, whereas now, it has become romanticised as you say
@@CharpyTheHedgehog There's no reason to think detransitioners are less genuine than anyone else. Trans is a thing you do, not a thing you are. We do not know what happens to the current group of transitioners after 10, 15, 20 years. Will they get tired of the effort of trying to look and behave like the opposite sex is expected to? If you're old and no longer hot, does transition have the same attraction? Time will tell, unfortunately.
It’s so interesting you mention that about the voice in your head still being a female voice. I’m a trans man and have been transitioned ~ 9 years. Still happily trans but I totally respect people in your position. I just wanted to mention I had the same thing happen the first few years of transition where I was thinking with a female voice even after mine dropped. The difference for me was that I was dysphoric about the voice in my own head 😭 eventually that changed but it took a long time. I don’t think the symptom you were having was abnormal, probably under-talked about for sure and it sucks you couldn’t find info online. But the fact that you still had a female voice in your head and DIDNT feel dysphoric about that may have been a sign. Thank you for sharing your story! And I’m glad you found what you needed within yourself 😊
Hey there, I'm an FTM (transitioned 9 years ago, post surgery etc.) and I wanna say thank you for sharing your story. I've noticed in the trans community in the past few years a section of us are treating detransitioners like shit and blaming them for other issues we run into and often judge those in your position unfairly. This is a conversation that NEEDS to be had, the nuance that often gets missed when young people are still figuring out their identities. I wish you the very best and hope that other trans people will take a moment to appreciate that we only comprise about 0.3-0.6% of the population, and that not everyone with discomfort surrounding their gender is necessarily trans. I know some will point at your story and say that just convinces people we aren't real but I disagree, stories like yours should tell people this is a serious medical issue that needs the proper care and isn't to be taken lightly. Good luck friend PS. hope nothing came off as rude English isn't my best
honestly listening to her story just makes me more sure that I am trans and reassures me that I am making the right decision to transition and reassuring to me that I can do it. my only problem with detransitioning is when transphobic people hold up detransitioned people and pretend that they represent all trans people as if transition without regrets is impossible.
Rachel as a parent of teens aged 19, 17 and 14 my concern is just that no medical transition should happen until adulthood. We don't let teens do anything permanent or take life changing decisions (you can't get married, you can't vote, you shouldn't get tattoos or join the army) until you have matured. Everyone has empathy for teen parents because we know that they are very young and probably will struggle to cope with the level of responsibility. We encourage people to wait until they are older because we know they still have a lot of growing to do. The brain is growing and developing until 25. It's the same with medical transition. Anyone can live as any gender they want but we cannot change our biological sex, so medical transition is a commitment to lifelong medical involvement.
@@viviennedunbar3374 I should have gone on hormone blockers at 14 and transitioned at 16 (had been diagnosed and already socially transitioned for 3 years prior) but parents decided to wait until I hit 18 and it was absolutely the wrong decision. If I had have been allowed to go ahead with it earlier I wouldn't have had to suffer through surgery & recovery to cut off the tits that grew when I should have been on hormone blockers. Lets me be clear that transitioning as early as possible for us trans people is 100% the right thing to do, but the issue is that there are people who aren't trans getting wrongly put on this path because people are neglecting that this is a rare medical condition with permanent treatment and shouldn't be taken as lightly as it these past couple of years.
I just wish some detransitioners wouldn't use their experience as a weapon against trans people. elle palmer recently deleted her twitter because she started saying some horse shit about trans guys just not wanting to be girls because of oppression. a very small portion of people coming out of the trans community doesn't discredit transition.
It is in most places though in the US it's state dependant, and even outside of state law, gender clinics internationally are heavily underfunded making waiting lists very long for 1 to 1 patient, doctor therapy. 1 clinic I was familiar with had a waiting list of up to 4 years for a single session. So it's sad that people do not have access to the means to talk their issues through with a professional (generally, therapy should be accessible to everybody), but it's also the reality for most youth who end up looking for alternative means instead which of course can be very dangerous and risky.
@@DrMattPhillips ...couldn't the waiting be part of the "therapy?" y'know take your time, think the transition through, do research, this is a permanent thing, taking time never hurts
@@DrMattPhillips I'm talking about before the INITIAL transition, not the reversal, they may not feel "comfortable" in there own body but at least the body is functional, no hormone replacement required, if you feel so out of place to need to transition THAT quickly, then you probably need therapy for other things not just gender disphoria
@@froboy56001 I'm also talking about before the initial transition. It's not a quick process at all when specifically working with professional gender clinics. If you talk to transgender people about their experiences getting treatment it'll convey that most don't get treatment for years due to waiting lists, where they both do not see a therapist nor do they see anybody. That's the issue I'm conveying that exists regionally in most areas and cases. There's a big difference between intentional delays within the process built in for validity checks whilst constantly touching base with a doctor on a regular basis for wellness checks. And being on a waiting list for 4 years, seeing no one and hearing nothing.
I’m a straight middle aged mom. This randomly popped into my feed and is totally irrelevant to me. I saw how pretty and feminine you are and was curious which way the transitioning was. I had never heard of detransitioning so I was interested in your story. I really enjoyed your video. I respect your candor. You are a brave and beautiful person, and I know your video will help others who are struggling with finding their place in the world. 💜❤️🧡💛💚💙
I think many people need to realize nobody just fits in...we are all totally unique and just need to accept and love whomever we are. Parents need to love and accept their kids no matter what! And your life can be limitless! If you stop worrying about what others think! It only matters how you feel about yourself. If you only have one friend, you are blessed! Don't try changing yourself to fit in anywhere. Just be brave enough to be yourself, and people will accept you. If they don't, who cares...be happy!
As a 16yo who’s aromantic and struggling with their gender this was super good to watch because I definitely have issues that I need to sort out before I even start thinking to transition. This was informative and definitely let me know I should be very careful when it comes to my gender
People have screwed with your mind, and now they have made you believe, that it's an identity issue on your part... don't let a criminal doctor mutilate and sterilize you.
Yes agreed. I was different in the sense I've always known I'm trapped in the wrong gender. I've got the right body, heck I'm practically intersex, I've got functioning bits a penis is not supposed to have or even function as lol. So if I could maybe help you, I knew since 5. I literally blacked out because I realised I was not the correct gender and that stress and feeling of fear has remained ever since until this year that I've finally begun to look like myself now. So, please consider that what ever you are going thru, it's likely not your gender. Gender dysphoria is extremely rare. The left media has hijacked this to cause deliberate trouble amongst youth in my opinion because I can tell there is no structure. It's all feeling and let me tell you, it's not about feeling at all. It's about knowing and if you can't know then don't even try. Cos transitioning isn't what you think it is. It isn't going to fix anything, that's the lie. It only changes what was. Think about that
Ps you're only 16, I waited until I was 23 to come out because I knew, it's healthier to begin with and the body needs to develop as well as you do. Again think about that, what you're feeling now can still change. I only began transition 10 years after coming out. Think carefully
Good luck with everything! And also social transitioning where you ask people to call you by a different name and pronouns has no permanent negative effects. It's fine to change your mind later, especially when you're young, and you might find that a lot of your mental struggles may improve. I know that personally I was suicidal starting around puberty and stayed that way until I came out at 20 and started being treated as who I truly am. I was so surprised when I realized a few months into people using a new name and pronouns for me, and having friends who truly supported me, that for the first time in over a decade I didn't want to die. My anxiety and depression improved a lot, though it definitely hurt when people intentionally misgendered me. So yeah, dysphoria can definitely be a huge source of mental distress and mental illness, and sometimes transitioning can make it a lot better. But also, you don't need to jump into physically transitioning because social transition is always an option. At 16 there is also the option to take puberty blockers for a while until you're certain one way or another to prevent permanent changes from continuing to develop while you figure things out.
Legends Silver, adolescence is a very confusing and awkward phase of life for everyone. It’s a natural to question identity because you are in a developmental phase transitioning to adulthood. It’s that in between period where you’re neither a child or an adult and yet a little bit of both at the same time. It’s normal and healthy to experiment with hair, clothes, make up etc. But just give yourself time to be you at every phase and don’t put any pressure on yourself to be something permanent like transitioning. I encourage you to wait it out until you’re an adult to make a decision. I mean, the brain doesn’t even finish developing until around age 24! So any major decision made before that id say is rushing into it. Anyway let us know what you decided and give us an update.
When my sister was around 9 she dressed like a boy and called herself Zach. She’s now in her mid twenty’s, happily married to a man, and just had a wee baby. She once told me that she’s so thankful she didn’t grow up in these current times, because someone might have insisted that my parents transition her. She’s now a happy, straight female. Kids are all over the place, they experiment, and they have absolutely zero forward-thinking skills. They should never be allowed to make such drastic decisions at such an early age. I started using drugs really young, and had no idea that I would struggle physically and mentally for so long after being clean. I had no ability to think that far ahead. I’m 2+ years clean and still dealing with the medical and mental repercussions of my actions. Again, kids should not be making such huge decisions at such an early age.
I think It does depend on place. But where I live you can't get hormones below 16. (surgery below 18), Thats what puberty blockers are for. So that a person who is confused, has extra time given to figure out who they are, without going through trauma of developing of sex characteristics that they don't identify with, puberty is hard enough for cishet people. they figure out they feel comfortable with their sex assigned at birth, they leave puberty blockers and start their puberty later. They figure out they feel more comfortable with different gender, they can pursue that. And it is much easier they don't end up with low masculine voice, and masculine features, when they will go on to live as women. But obviously you are not going to give puberty blockers to 7 year old, because at that age its only clothes and hair that really differs between boys and girls. Many children and youth are not given opportunity to explore themselves. wearing a skirt or cutting your hair short will not traumatise them. Forcing a person in any direction is wrong. There should be much more mental health support and education for everyone, not only those struggling.
So, i am an older transwoman, and totally happy in my transition. I am worried, however, because so many young people are transitioning and we are starting to see a spike in detransition. I think your voice is an important one. I went to a gender therapist, and they are basically trained to encourage you to transition and don't pose tough questions to you. I totally had to do that myself, and i spent months reading, studying, looking at people's stories and detransition stories, and everything i could get my hands on. I was alarmed that no one challenged my choices in a constructive way. Someone like you can help young people ask themselves the tough questions the system isn't. I am super concerned with young girls who are transitioning to male, because T works so quickly, while estrogen takes months and months to make permanent changes. I am super glad you made this video. Keep making videos talking about it (maybe a little shorter). I totally don't want to completely discourage anyone from transitioning. I just think people should totally think it through before they do it.
I have the same concern. I spent so many years trying to cover all my bases for options in the future before starting HRT. Not everything panned out and my bloodline will completely end with me (something I'm still mourning) but I spent a lot of that time figuring out if that's really the right option. It definitely was. The humor is though that if I didn't start taking estradiol, I would have had to start taking testosterone due to my hormone levels prior to transition.
Michelle, First off thank you for speaking out. As someone who is cis male I've never had the trauma of gender dysphoria, but I can only imagine what it feels like. It is so important to hear all voices in the trans community, both to support those who are coming up as well as to warn them, as transitioning is such a momentous step. I hope with all our participation in the conversation we can really make the lives of trans people better.
@@cantbejawsome I would suggest finding a safe place you can experiment with living as the opposite gender. Find what looks good on you and makes you feel right. You'd wanna ask yourself what kind of enrichment this brings to your life. Is this the life you'd like to live full-time? Would you be happier living your life as the opposite gender? If it's chemically transitioning, I'd first ask someone to consider the long term effects that are permanent, then consider the route it takes to get there. Puberty wasn't fun the first time, so putting yourself through it again is very much a concern.
I'm saddened an worried that this young generation feel so desperate to put a label on themselves and others. 20 years ago we were lucky just knowing that being young is a time of confusion and that you don't have to live up to the traditional gender roles. And we could slowly experiment and try different things out, until we figured out who we were. Now they think they must declare their whole identity to the world at the age of 15 - and change their body accordingly. I'm not saying that true trans people shouldn't get their treatment. - But as this video proffs, there are just too many people who has has other problems getting caught up in this unhealthy focus on gender these days. - After all, a person is much more than their gender or sexuality.
I have. Unfortunately I have the voice of Ben Stein and trying to hold my voice at that pitch just goes to seem to work for me without my voice cracking.
@@imkshipa Ya, it's a bit of work.. I literally grindded-out Harvard sentences. Pick like 2-4 and just have them to recite over-and-over when you are fee (shower, driving...etc), and then do recording/ workshop sessions. :)
Right? It's something lots of trans people experience, and in her case for destransitioning, as the reason for why they transition. For the longest time I wasn't even aware my "inner voice" and the way i internally felt and saw myself sounded masculine until i transitioned and noticed the voice didn't sound so different from everything else anymore. It's pretty interesting and I think it could be discussed more.
@@almostfiction yeah, I'm the same too, I'm pre hormones, just starting, but I've lived for 10 years as a man, I don't always pass, but that's not such a big deal at 30. Everybody is accepting and I explain if need arises, and most of the people understand, and are respectful, and I live in a really backwards country regarding this topic. What I wanted to say is, my inner voice is completely male, and I feel my body, although pre-t, as male but with some minor differences. For example I feel like I have gynecomastia, not a huge deal, and will deal with it surgically.
@@cyanofelis yes they're genderless but it can still feel masculine or feminine. If your inner doesn't match then it's noticeable. If your inner voice does match then yeah you won't notice. Tbh I think that's a good thing you don't experience it.
And you know, it is ok to be yourself in some ways as it's ok to want to fix yourself. If you procrastinate, you can work on that! If you're confused about what you want, you should find some close friends and start asking questions. A lot of times, people want something new because we've been trained that new is better, and different has to be better because at least it's not the same. This is how marketing works to sell you a new phone, even if in the grand scheme of things, your old phone worked perfectly fine.
It took me 10 years to accept the fact that it is ok to like women and men. I hated myself for 10 years and I am so glad I am learning to accept myself.
Idk if this was the point, but this video made me realize even moreso that i actually made the *right* choice to start transitioning. I always sort of felt like "am i trans enough", but you mentioned yourself not feeling dysphoria or anything negative towards your body, not wanting to be the other gender- and something really sort of hit me that, i DID think these things. It sort of engrained it into my brain that i made the right choice
I think a big thing people miss out on recently is that gender nonconformity isn't gender dysmorphia. Gender nonconformity isn't being trans either. And I feel like a lot of people are now confusing these.
@@amartin9293 idk about talking them into their sexual preference but there was a LOT of sexuality in media when I was a kid and it seems to have even gotten worse recent years. Just making sex exposed to kids so early isn't right. And then no education on biology enough to often. And then people wonder why so many kids getting pregnant at a young age or confused overall.
The big thing that concerns me. I grew up with the very strict social norms of: 'boys do science and adventure; girls do dolls and dresses'. Which the latter is absolutely not in my wheelhouse. Dad let me be me which made me feel completely incompatible with everyone else growing up who seemed to handle those norms better than I. Now that Transgender transitions are so common place and so haphazard, I can't help but wonder how many people actually feel like their in the wrong gender vs, just stuck in social norm boxes.
@@Ouchimoo I've actually seen quite a few people comment they know or they were thinking they were trans but later realized it was about this and thinking because they didn't fix that one predetermined definition they assumed they were the other. I mean there's not actual harm I guess for many people who realize it later, it's just a journey. BUT if they had decided to do surgery it might have had some big impact on them and their lives.
I'm a transguy, who transitioned 10 years ago. Even tho the waitinglist for therapy in the Netherlands is crazy long now (almost 2 years), hearing a story like this makes me glad that you need at least 6 months of therapy before starting hormones here. Best wishes for your future!
6 months of therapy is a sad pathetic joke. It takes years and years to see and accept, let alone solve your deepest issues. You wouldn't even go to the gym for 6 months to get into shape
@@arip172 going to the gym is very different. You won’t resolve deep trauma in six months but you’ll be able to work on gender dysphoria and figuring out your identity. I assume the focus would be on the potential transition.
@@mr.mayonnaise5488 Often the desire to transition is linked to past trauma. There are so many detrains videos and books about this, like Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier. They're completely intertwined most of the time. Very few people are actually trans.
I am starting to believe that the younger generation is suffering from a need to label things and fit a square into a circle. My sons are similar. They want to have a label for their personality quirks. One son for example will constantly come up with obscure psychological diagnosis's for himself. Sometimes it's just what makes you, you. We are not all the same. We are all beautiful in our own way and being an individual, and different than other people is a good thing.
I agree that so many people seem obsessed with labels. I hate labels and only have a few that I subscribe to seriously, otherwise that’s that. But it’s not limited to people labeling themselves, but labeling everyone, every action or lack of action, labeling everything!
@D. N. I see your point. Your generation only needs to stick it out a few more years, cause while I did struggle a lot as a kid, my biggest growing pains were when I was in my 20’s. Especially once the generation after you gets to the point yours is at now. I felt misunderstood by my peers and the Zoomers, so you feel isolated, even if you aren’t. But the Millennials now know and will be here for ya.
@@sarahi1149 I know it's hard in these difficult times, but please take this advice to heart, there are these things called bookshops. They sell tablets made out of paper. Go ask the clerk about some history, doesn't matter which time or which country, just start somewhere. Then come back to me and tell me how bad rape cultrure, racism and economy is doing. Turn back the clock a 100 years and put them in a 2020 situation, the amount of rape comitted in a year would be happening on a daily basis, we would find whatever group that we could easiest blame and either burn, hang or chop their heads of. And even a king or queen would live by laughably low standards compared to a struggling family right now. I'm not saying we should just look at how bad they did things before so we should be grateful for the bad things now. But you need some perspective and you need it fast, I know you think I'm either messing with you or are in some way trying to make you look bad. I'm not I'm trying to get you to stop wasting 10 years of your life, find what you are good at and what you want to do and do it. If that means a full on career in whatever profession of your choice do that, if it means a family with the possibility of leaving the work force until they start school then you are free to make that choices to. And no kids are also allowed and acceptable.
@@sarahi1149 Those are very serious issues that should always be addressed. However, I think a lot of these things are not always effecting people personally. I am Latina, but rarely experience direct racism, but do experience racism in the form of it existing in my community/society. I suppport these causes despite not being directly affected. I believe this may be what was meant by that comment. Although you are %100 about our economy, but the economy goes into recession every 10-12 years, and every economy no matter how booming experiences recession and failure. Recessions are catastrophic in many ways, however, it leads to our economy resetting; what goes up must come down. (Sorry for any typos).
@@amandatorres3833 100% correct, there are always a lot of things that we will look back on in 10-20 years and think "damn we were kind of savagages back then weren't we". The point is we seem to be aiming forward, for every bad step back we take, we end up making progress in ways we never thought possible before. Would I like every other normal thinking person on the planet want to remove those spesific problems with a magic wand and so instead people's only struggle in life would be finding out who they want to be? Of course but I've lived long enough to understand it's not how the world works while also not being so beaten down that I don't think it will never change. Because I do think it's coming, just sadly not within the years I got left.
So frustrating when detransition vids remove comments. Love that the comments are turned on. Your voice matters. Everyone’s voice matters even the haters, it shows the full picture
I was a tomboy growing up, and until a couple of years ago felt most comfortable dressing fairly androgynously. I think it stemmed partly from the fact that I was teased for being tall, and I felt like I didn't fit in with the other girls at my school, who happened to be petite/short, and very "girly". Now in my mid-20's I'm both more feminine on the outside, and I feel much more comfortable with being a woman on the inside too, if that makes sense. Being transgender is 100% a thing, but I hope people don't confuse being unhappy with themselves or their bodies with gender dysphoria.
I'm concerned that far too often this seems to be the case! True gender dysphoria (as in, the brain is sexed differently than the body in utero) is incredibly rare.
I think that some people not realising that during adolescents through your 20s that most people are still unsure of who they are and that feeling that way is a universal human experience.
In biosciences, we view this different than the humanities. In the humanities, they claim every trait is a new box/category, and therefore a gender variation. In bioscience, gender is not separate from sex. They're the same thing, So we view it as all of those boxes/categories existing within two main categories. E.g. an "M" box can have g@y, straight, bi, cries, lifts weights, low-T, high-T, etc, etc. Humanities claim that "gender" is just societal expectations, therefore each one of those things is a new gender. In bioscience, we think this is harmful and regressive and is affecting people's lives negatively, not positively, making them feel different and apart and worsening any negative feelings they may already have about themselves, as despite how hard they try to "fit in," they're only fitting into fake categories created by the very people who call the categories fake. We're called bigots for this and aren't allowed to speak.
@@patrickriarchy6054 It does seem to be something that stems a bit from vanity. "Oh, nobody else could possibly understand, but I'm so different and special," when everyone is feeling different, looking for their own identity. Unfortunately, some people look to their bodies for that identity instead of to other qualities they possess.
i am 30 and strange thing i noticed was that all the tom boys i knew when i was a kid or during my teenage yrs all ended up becoming super feminine after the age of 25. it's as if they were just late bloomers. like everyone went through the girly phase at 15 and they ended up going through that phase at 25. one girl specifically that i know who is 30 now wears makeup and gets her hair done and wears dresses and i am 30 and i did all that when i was 15 but now at 30. i can't be bothered wearing makeup. lol
Unlike the impression the reaction of lgbtq communities give, detransitioning is not against lgbtq but against too early and not carefully accompanied transitions of children and teens. I once wanted to be a boy, for about 10 years, and then realized it was bc of childhood abuse. My friend had the same, she is lesbian, wanted to be a boy and then realised she thought she'll be accepted better as a trans with a girl than as a girl with a girl. Which, funnily, is kind of homophobic albeit coming from a lesbian...
Another important thing I'm not seeing anyone talking about: You can be male and wear make up or colorful hair! Your gender doesn't matter, You can look however You want. You're valid.
Yeahhhh I’ve never understood the whole trans gender argument because personally I just don’t see why it matters. If you want to cross dress then wear what you want express yourself how you want, but expecting random people to know your proper pronoun is just crazy to me. Just be yourself
@@Monahandsom3 well how it was explained to me and what makes sense to me is that sex, gender identity, and gender expression are all different and exist on a spectrum. For example, somebody can be born with male sex chromosomes but still be a woman. They can also still wear makeup and express themselves more feminine. There is actually a lot of research done on transness and the scientific basis of it if you want to learn more. (:
RNGesusRaids some people don’t just want to cross dress. This person has admitted to making a mistake. But there are other trans people who actively feel like the gender they were born IS NOT the gender they are. So just dressing up isn’t going to fix anything. That’s why there can be men who wear makeup, women who don a more masculine look, and there can also be people who are transgender who actually need to alter their gender however they see fit. If you aren’t transgender you don’t have to fully understand what makes someone transgender, you just have to be able to respect other people for they are.
There are people who de transition not because of repression, but a Psychiatrist helped them to feel comfortable with themselves. I applaud you for reaching out and talking about your difficult journey.
I’m a straight male. I’m a therapist who was once asked what my experience is with counseling people in transition, in regards to sex and gender, and I have none. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s super important. Much appreciated.
I’m my therapist first trans women and it’s been great and I picked a cis gender man to get out of my comfort zone....he’s actually writing a book about my transition I started back in 93 it was different so serious and dangerous even back then this generation has no clue they talk about it like it’s a walk in the park....it makes me so angry 😡 they have no idea how many have died just for trying to be there true selves
@@jamis2031 It would be so valuable if you would speak about your experience and warn young people that they need to go through a long process before they decide 100% that they must transition.
@Common Sense Isn't Common thanks for sharing. Yes, finding a good therapist is rare. There’s also interesting research on how talk therapy is not effective (unless the therapist themself has a solid mindfulness practice) anyhow thanks for sharing
@Tewdy Quew Transmen have a little bit less stigma, but transwomen have a lot of stigma and wind up being murdered at a higher rate. There have been almost 200 transmen killed since 2013 in this country. The suicide rates are also higher in this demographic.
As a straight woman I don't even know how your video came on my feed, but you are a precious gift. What you have shared is brilliant, no matter what issues we may go through, whether we're trans, bi, straight or whatever. Thank you for speaking your truth.
Have you looked into any other detransitioning videos? I know I have before. I second your thought though, she is a precious gift and am grateful for her speaking out. I have never thought about transitioning, but what she was talking about is very helpful. I am a natural worry wart lol.. I worry and stress about everything. Her advice goes a long way and helps more people than just those who are detransitioning or are thinking about transitioning
"If I detransitioned now, I'd basically have to go through what every trans woman has to go through." Thank you for saying this! People really don't get it. I'm sorry this happened to you, and for those of us who actually are trans, puberty felt just like you're describing.
I thought that this would make me insecure about my identity as a trans man but it actually affirmed me because i don’t relate to your experience at all. Also i’m appalled at how easy it was for you to get on hormones, i’ve been trying to get on them for months and i still have to much waiting and hoops to jump through.
Same here. I've hidden my identity issues for 16 years. Hated myself until i finaly had to come out because i was having severe neurological symptoms due to the trauma i was causing myself. I've had to go to a neurological Psychologist as well as a mental health clinic. Should be getting my letter for t next month. It always blows my mind when people say they got hrt so easily.
You guys should start poking around a bodybuilding forums because you'll find that everything you need is widely available sent to your door without a doctor
I'm ftm but I've always looked at detransition content even from before I started transition, and still do. I want to understand people who detransition, in large part to recognize any similar feelings I could have in the future. Like you say, detransitioners could really use more resources, and understanding, both from trans people and people who criticize trans people and seem to use detransitioners' stories to bash them. Thank you for putting this out there. Your makeup looks amazing btw
setniessesed same, I'm ftm and I'm so scared to figure out in a couple of years that this was a mistake. And that's what stops me from transitioning, which also kinda sucks
@@ynnckx5508 I know of someone who got top surgery, but said they might never get bottom surgery. To them, their body dysmorphia centered around their breasts. If you decide to move forward with your transition, what is the most important transition for you? What changes do you feel you need to make? Maybe you could map out all of your options and see what would be important for you and what would be less so. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find happiness.
I totally understand the fear in making life changing decisions! I'm ftm & I luv the changes I see in my body & how I feel now but there's always a fear that u might feel dif the longer u live. But we are humans jus doin the best we can wit our lives I've only been on HRT for 2yrs & I'm planning my top surgery now & I had a hyst but that wasnt really jus for transitioning tho. Plus I'm older & I've been thinkin about this for a long time & finally grew enough balls 2 actually do it. But take ya time tho & research everything
same here. transition isn't something you want to get stuck in if it's not right for you. it's a decision to be made after careful consideration, and monitoring the way it makes you feel is important. you wouldn't want to realize it's not for you later than you have to. I also feel like noting the differences between my experience of transition and those of de-transitioners helps me trust myself that i've made the right choice!
I'm only about halfway through the video, but I wanted to comment on something. A lot of what is being referenced about transition to leave behind issues is exactly the wrong reason to transition under any circumstance. I'm kind of one of those textbook "been like this every since I was young, hated dresses growing up, rejected femininity and naturally grew up identifying in no female sense" trans cases, and even with such an extensive track record of behavior like mine, my therapist made sure I understood first and foremost: Transitioning will not cure your depression. It will not cure your anxiety, or fix your internal problems. Transitioning in and of itself is not a cure for gender dysphoria, and is only one of various answers. Approaching transition like a catch all for fixing personal problems is setting yourself up to deny the existence and the tangibility of those problems in the first place. While life has been easier when I transitioned because I no longer live in fear of the misgendering and the social dysphoria, the depression is still there. The anxiety is still there. The problem is still there, and it will not go away. It will only ease with accepting and learning to cope with it.
I would also add that some of this is very confusing and overlaps in certain areas with other mental issues as a lot of things in humans do. Therapy is honestly the most helpful thing and asking critical questions of ourselves.
If no one has ever told you, Jesus loves you and you can cast all your cares and anxieties on Him. He is the lifter of our heads, and the lover of our souls. Ask Him for help, He says, "come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest". God bless you very very much.
this video helped me so much, im 14 and have been on t for about a year now. i finally got the balls to tell my mom i wanted to stop t. luckily my voice didnt completely drop before detransitioning. im still kind of in the process of figuring out what im gonna do, because i feel like im gonna let my parents down agAin. today i put makeup on for the first time and was super happy, even though i still had short hair. so ty, ig this video made me feel less alone lolol.
You're 14? So young. Why not wait until you're older? I know it's such "Mom' type advice but coming from a 44 yr old Mom just feel like giving it time would help. Don't feel rushed or pressured. Best of luck!
You never had physical disphoria and never felt like you wished you were a male/boy, yet still you came to the conclusion that you were trans? I'm surprised that no professionals picked up on this.
That’s the thing about informed consent you just sign off that you’re taking responsibility if you make a mistake, they don’t care. Trans activists also say now that you don’t need dysphoria to be transgender, which I think is extremely confusing and damaging to young people who are figuring out who they are. This is coming from a trans guy who came out 10 years ago.
@@johnb9573 i think there is a difference between needing dysphoria to be trans and needing dysphoria to transition. I think you can be trans without having dysphoria, (euphoria instead) but I honestly think you should be very cautious or not transition medically if you don’t have dysphoria. obviously adults can do whatever they want with their bodies but if you don’t have dysphoria I don’t really see a reason for you to medically transition. - a young trans guy with very bad dysphoria lasting years that is trying to medically transition right now
@@lavenderbones2628 I still don’t think your actually trans if you are fine with your body because that means you are fine with your birth sex. Anything other than that is just not feeling like a conventional man or woman. But I definitely agree that even if someone really believes they’re trans without dysphoria they shouldn’t transition. You shouldn’t change your body if you’re comfortable in it. I think some people are doing it because they want to be seen by other people a certain way but you shouldn’t modify your body for anyone else but yourself.
@putnam 1953 well, clearly because they are in emotional pain. If this video shows ANYTHING it is that transitioning is not an easy decision and it comes from a place of hurt and the hurt is very real.
@@Iisho first of all, being 18 does not mean you're an adult. I'm 36 and still feel like a kid, but me 18 years old, deciding about my future was a joke. Secondly, everyone is in pain one way or the other. It is our duty to face our problems and learn to accept ourselves. There is no transformation that will suddenly make you happy. Now, I'm not an expert in this subject and I really believe everyone should be allowed to do with their own bodies what they want. I know for a fact though, that it is very easy to corner yourself internally into thinking that there is only one solution. We are the prisoners of our own minds and it's always a good idea to listen to others, especially the experts. That is the only chance to see the reality from a different perspective which can save us a lot of self inflicted pain. All the best 👋
@@Iisho Just because someone turns 18, yes you are technically viewed as an adult by the law, but mentally, the brain is still a teenager and the brain is not fully develop and 18 y/o can still make irrational decisions or they make their decisions based off of their emotions. Our brain isn't fully developed until 25.
this person is really sitting on the floor in the middle of their appartment spilling their heart to us!!! *hugs* i'm not trans or anything but i support whatever decisions make you happy even though you may not know what that is right now take all the time you need we love you
Im faroese! And we dont have any trans care here, so im going through the danish system. Theres a minimum of 6 appointments, about 1 or 2 months apart, and then they evaluate your case. Ive been going through it for the past year, and ive noticed there are many failsafes. There's many points where they try to evaluate other issues, your history, etc. Its a bit exhausting, since ive been through most of that in normal therapy back home, but i see how it's very necessary for some people for whom that is their first step.
that's good, I don't know much about gender dysmorphia or things alike or how one feels or goes through to want to transition. However, I believe that they should be doing this with therapy before you start, it makes sense. Before giving suboxone or methadone to addicts, they couple it with therapy and such too, calling it medication assisted therapy (MAT). There's many doctors or surgeons out there who will capitalize on the opportunity simply because you have good insurance/money that will cash them out. I had this problem with surgeons wanting to operate on me when I dealt with back issues that went on for several years. Having surgery would've been the worst choice for me too btw. Glad you had that opportunity though.
In Spain we have a law that has been aproved recently which eliminates the proceed of therapy so the moment someone proclaims themself as trans they get access to hormones and full transition without psychological review because it is considered pathologizing
i am ftm pre-t and ofc im desperate for it but im taking my time and being responsible (i understand you were struggling and impulsive) so i like to get information from all different sides thanks for being so honest cuz it sucks when detransitioners become extremely transphobic
Yeah I just watched a video of another detransitioner who was super transphobic because of their own trauma and distress that made them think that it was the wrong decision for everyone
Hence it's so important to emphasize responsibility in making this choice, you really need to think a lot about it and if you know already (as some do) then it's literally a matter of be patient and see for yourself what needs to get done. I dunno why it's so easy for some to get hormones etc but I notice a pattern, those who take time to get what they need are the least likely to change their mind to begin with
@@4651adri I think you're assuming far too much or reading too much into it. I don't believe there is a gender ideology, how stupid. Gender isn't fluid and shouldn't be treated as a sexuality
@@Arikuit I'm sure you are a very smart person. I recommend you look into it. Gender ideology is a thing and it's already been investigated and written about numerous times. It's actually pretty harmful for actual trans people.
@Miss Yancey As a trans girl, I believe thats a very trasphobic belief. If I pass as a woman, and a guy or a girl likes me because I look like a woman, than they're attracted to me. A strait guy would never be with a trans guy lol.
@Miss Yancey So if there was a trans guy, he has a pe**s, he has a deep voice, he looks exactly like a cis guy, and you think he's hot and you like his personality, would you date him?
i was very masculine when i was a kid, i thought that i was trans when i was 12-13. as i have grown older i have began to express my femininity. i’m not trans, i just wasn’t a feminine girl. (sorry if my english is bad, it isn’t my first language and i don’t comment much)
Your English is fine. :) I wasn’t a very feminine girl either (tomboy all the way). I can turn on the girly, but I’m honestly happier in a pony tail, no makeup, and comfy clothes. There’s nothing wrong with not being in full makeup, hair, and heels. My hubby puts it best, I’m sexy in my own unique way.
Please have more confidence in your English writing. It's great. Your last line only shows the insecurity YOU have in your English, which is unfair to youself. You're way better than you think. No need to apologize to us or anyone else for it.
I was the same way as you. I was very tomboyish as a teenager and early adulthood. Later in life I just became more comfortable expressing myself as a girl that isn't that super girlish as society wants you to be and that's fine. It's just me. Comfort over style but still a girl :)
I am a 70 year old woman. I've been watching slot of transition stuff on youtube and I'm gonna be honest I don't understand it all. But I do know there are kids who at two years old want to be opposite sex. Alot for me to learn about. You are so honest I appreciate that. But I must tell you, you are a beautiful woman, but I believe you know this, and you are free to be you, whomever you may perceive yourself to be. Thanks for being so honest.
Sorry but 2 yrs old dont know what they want, they " discovering life " everything is attractive, but they do not know anything is nor been told. It's the parents choice ( which is sick and child abuse ) its allot adults that still dont know what they want, less alone a child. Commonsense is need, at 70 you should know better. Children are easy to manipulate.
@@Enigmaticaluna13 It honestly sounds like a kid pretending to comment as a 70 year old. If you are not demented at that age and think letting 2 YEAR OLDS become the opposite sex, you are a real piece of work, or never had children. Also notice how she wrote "opposite sex" and not gender, not suspicious at all that the trans lobby always conflate those two while they in their ideology are adamant that it is only about gender.
this is why it is important to worry about of mental health, going to therapy and knowing how to read yourself. Thanks for sharing your journey i hope a lot of people who arent really trans think about the things you said very carefully before make a wrong move. Im a trans man. I’ve been on testosterone for a long time. I struggle with disphoria since have memory, my thoughs always were on a life were i can be the man i was in my head, the disconfort with my body and everything u said you havent i think is importan to realize if ur trans or not. If i am a happy man is because the transition cured that aspect of my life that was wrong. but If your struggling with depression, with your sexual orientantion or anything that doesn’t have to do with gender, the transition isn’t going to solve that. I send you a lot of love I think you are a beautiful girl and a very brave one to share your history. Hugs!!
I remember thinking, "I wanna be a boy," when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I was such a tomboy, but I'm a cis female. Childhood is weird! Lol. Also, I think you're super pretty!
I'm trans and even though I'm 99% certain in my identity, I intend to do AT THE VERY LEAST 6 months of gender-specific therapy before I start T. Probably more.
@@AnaLoo86 No offense, but Blaine white is not a good representation of the trans community. She recently lost a lot of subscribers because she just kept lying about trans people who she doesn't like. It looks like she just lies to make clickbaits and get $$ I like Contrapoints better as trans representation on RUclips
make sure your therapist is not biased. nothing beats self acceptance for your body as you are - people may argue that transitioning -is- self acceptance, but that's not for them to decide for you.
Please reflect on the problems in your life,.. and try to recognize that your gender won’t make those problems go away.. please, God made you this way,... love yourself as you are. ❤️
Too many social workers and, yes, scared, softie Psychologists. The APA has gone off the deep end and it's dangerous for people who depend on a psychologist for emotional clarity
This will be an unpopular comment, and it's different for everybody, but in a lot of cases, 17 is just an age that makes people uncomfortable with their socal and sexual lives anyway. I wish people would give their hormones a chance to "transition" into biological maturity to give themselves a chance to make sure what's going on with them before they do something as drastic as transition their body.
When you got your hormones at Planned Parenthood, why didn’t they make you get counseling first? I feel like they let you down by allowing you to rush into such a serious decision without first requiring counseling to make sure. You’re a beautiful person btw ♥️
there have been many stories coming from detrans people talking about how therapist they've been seeing for a long time actively encourage their dysphoria and say that they are trans and the feelings that they get are just deep rooted insecurities about who they are and what society wants them to be, basically invalidating the persons feelings about not being fully sure about transitioning. There hasn't even been evidence shown about the history of trans folks and if it actually works and no evidence showing what it could do to them I'm the long run after gender reassignment surgery has been done
They don't do counseling. They just say they do to qualify for federal funding. Their main businesses are to get the kids in, pump them full of chemicals, kill children and sell body parts. They don't want to work against themselves by providing a service that could cost them the actual purpose they have for existing.
Planned Parenthood has always been an unethical organization, from abortion to health services, it’s the most shady place to get any form of healthcare because they liter do not care about you as a patient or a person. All they care about is making money off of you. I hope more shut down so people get actual healthcare instead of being sold a bill of goods,
i was sixteen when i wanted to transition. in retrospect, i am glad i listened to my mother when she asked me to wait until i’m at least 23 years of age. did not take the step luckily
ya wait until you actually grow up and mature a decent amount lol whats up with everyone thinking they're transgender around the age of 12-16 its like being transgender is becoming a trend
@Mustachio Mustache I don't think the issue is so much with it being a trend. I think the issue is that teenagers often feel different and now that transgender is such a commonly known about thing, they think it might be why. It's just people trying to figure out their feelings and everything.
It’s less that “it’s a trend” and more that people are starting accept it now Also, cisgender people are allowed to know they’re cis at that age, so why can’t transgender people?
@John QPublic I think this ladies story is completely valid but I do not like how some of the conversation points surrounding detransitioning seem to spin off into talk about an agenda to turn kids trans. Gender is a tricky issue and no one fully understands it. There needs to be proper self meditation before transitioning but drawing a cuttoff point is hard. If teenagers from 12 could transition say, then you would probably find a lot of people who would change their mind later in life however if you dont let trans teenagers use hormone blockers then you are also causing irreversable changes to that persons body that they later regret. A compromise is required but calling it an agenda often just gives cause to those who are abusive/ discriminatory to the minority group that is trans people.
@@mustachiomustache5591 i agree it is a trend. Have seen it happen to a friend of mine. Trans is cool now. Look on twitter with the hashtag #transwomenarewomen and you will see how many men are turning trans, as well as females, females transitioning to men now is on the high
@Arraw Way ...Huh... being a petite female that is 5’2 103 pounds... I’ve been very successful in sales, mostly dominated by men co-workers and men customers. I’m authoritative, confident and aggressive. I have no problem being taken seriously. You can’t generalize people...
Hi, FtMtF here. I cried when you talked about your voice. It's what triggered my detransition, looking at myself in the mirror and hearing someone else was such a wake up. LGBTQ is all about self love, all I can say is love yourself people. You are unique and beautiful out of the womb. If you really feel the need to change, make sure you are in a good place to make a decision. Emotion should not drive your transition alone.
I’m trans myself, I came out at 14 before it was some kind of huge thing that it is now, I just want to say everybody’s path in life is different and I’m glad you have been able to share your story on here, and I really wish detrans voices were listened to more and I support you.
That's very kind. Did your realization have anything to do with the innate differences between male and female brains? I'm really curious about this topic.
Most people with gender dysphoria stop it during puberty. The brain develops until age 25, I think it's insane that people can say teenagers should transition.
@@cherryblossom6702 I hope I'm not coming off agressive, but I think Its important to note that the only medication that trans kids under 16 get is puberty blockers, if they decide to get off them later they will still have their puberty. they wont do anything that will have lasting impact before 16. there may be some countries where this works differently, but thats generally how it goes.
Born little children brain and body is not fully developed or even make decisions ... some children you give them a little trick for example HESS trick that they begged for like scream their heads crying out and you buy it and they go home and after a while in a slipt of a second Am bored... or they start playing with I dont know buttons instead...
@@democratsaretrash9366 I didn't say it was a good choice for her. But try not to get affected by this transitioning-culture as a teen when all your peers are doing the same and it is the universally accepted solution for EVERY self-diagnosed psychological problem! I just said that considering everything she was brave to admit her mistake and it is good that she warns others to think it over before they do something permanent to their bodies without finding the cause of their distress.
This was so incredibly brave of you! I can only imagine how stressful and scary it must be to detransition and potentially lose the support of your community. Someone very close to me is back and forth with this, and I sense that a fear of making her community angry with her, or of lessening the seriousness with which the outside world takes her community. Its ALOT of added weight to put upon ones shoulders on too of the already enormous decisions at hand.
im 48 im male im straight, ive never had any sort of gender confusion or sexual confusion and i am even politically conservative. but i have never bought into the archaic male/female stereotypes that people buy into, which is what confuses me when i see people transitioning and they take on male/female archetypes. there isnt really anything about us about humans naturally that says women have long hair and men have short hair etc... so it always sort of bugs me when i see people transition and it consists mostly of fitting into boring stereotype of male/female. as i said i am male and im straight, but i was also never a macho kind of guy. in fact i was ALWAYS the tallest and skinniest guy in school, and in my teens i discovered musical subcultures such as punk and goth and those sort of things. and i discovered that even though i could never be the big masculine type of man, i found dressing up like a rockstar and doing my hair and wearing makeup and those sort of things worked great for me and i loved it. but i never felt that i was trying to look like a women, i was just a guy wearing make up no big deal. now 20 years later, 30 years later i miss those days more than anything. i am just an average out of shape middle aged guy now, i would give anything to be able to get made up and pull it off like the old days. be young and enjoy it while you can, but dont just get hung up on other peoples male/female stereotypes. dont let other people define you.
transitioning doesn't necessarily have to do with fitting stereotypical female/male archetypes, btw :) Just saying because it seemed like you were equating transition's purpose to filling gender stereotypes when that's,, not really the case. Lots of people can get caught up in toxic gender roles tho I agree!! People should just be allowed to be themselves without their identities being called into question :)
what i was sort of trying to say, and i mean nothing i am saying insultingly or combatively or to be insulting or offensive. i was just saying whenever i see people transitioning and this includes people i have known personally, it seems the first thing they do or their number one focus is to start trying to dress and look like some male or female stereotype. which always sort of bugs me because clothing and hairstyle and so on shouldnt be so representative of gender in that way. lets say people transitioning to male want to take ormones to grow facial hair. but why? because they feel like they cant be male without facial hair, so are black men and Asian or Native American men men that dont have facial hair not real men. is it all about having a beard. i as a guy or a dude or whatever hate facial hair, daily shaving is one of the biggest pains in my ass. like wise people transitioning to women want to immediately take hormones to grow breasts'. because you cant be a women if you dont have breasts. are breast cancer survivors that have mastectomies n no longer real women. i dont know, something about the whole thing rubs me wrong. of course people transitioning want to grow either facial hair or breasts because its a purely surface aesthetic thing, but maybe instead of thinking i am the wrong gender maybe think what the embraces acceptable gender roles actually mean. is it just as simple as saying i feel like i am a man not a women, i NEED to have a beard, i cannot feel complete until i have a beard, like a real man.
@@newwavepop some of what you are describing sounds like concerns many transgender people have about "passing." passing is basically when a transgender person is generally seen as their preferred gender in public; a trans man appearing very traditionally masc, trans woman appearing trad femme. because society has certain stereotypes for genders, sometimes trans people are just trying to adhere to them, rather than transition because of them. the fact any trans person who doesnt try desperately to pass is also mocked and called "fake" or "trender" also does not help this issue.. so even a lot of trans people who really are trans can end up presenting in a more extreme way than they desire in order to appeal more to the public. buuut most trans people also do have dysphoria about things that are seen as traditionally assigned to their gender, and it can seem as though thats saying those traits are exclusively male or female, but its honestly just as simple as being v uncomfortable with associating a trait with yourself. whether it be your voice or the fact you hate dresses, dysphoria is mostly a discomfort that arises from the fact you've been raised into a role you feel disillusioned from, and you don't want others or yourself to be associated with that role. ofc not all men have beards, and men can hate having beards, and hell even women can have beards! but sometimes, a beard can make a trans man feel more comfortably masculine- or hell, he can just be like any other man who wants a beard... he just so happens to be trans!
People are too concerned with their ‘identity’ and labeling and defining themselves instead of just living these days. No one else cares, you don’t have to explain it to them. Just live honestly and with love and do what you want. People cause so much extra stress for themselves. It’s a hard time to be young.
Well there are people who care-- I know many who are very insistent about gender conformity ("no, you can't wear these kinds of clothes, you are a man/woman"). People get confused about my gender sometimes and would ask me-- if they didn't care, they wouldn't ask. I don't really think it's even a "'these days" things; there were ways of trying to define one's identity from the 20th century too-- getting involved in the hippy counterculture, alternative culture, things like that. I agree with the other sentiments you mention though-- it's not wrong to want to find ourselves, but we shouldn't worry too much about it unless it's unignorable
While I do agree that some people obsess too much over what labels and descriptions to use for themselves, the whole "trying to find your identity" thing has been around for as long as people have been around. As the other person who replied said, people do care about labels and descriptions, even those who say they don't. Nowadays, with more people not being quite as conservative as older generations were, people who don't fit neatly into certain boxes are just trying to express themselves however is most comfortable for them. And with these new genres, subcultures, identities, etc being acknowledged and recognized for possibly the first time, or for the first time in a long time, we want to give them names, provide explanations, and share identities with others. It's partially people trying to make new boxes for themselves, but it's also a way for some people to find common ground with others and feel like they're not alone. Some people use their identities as a crutch, sure, but the majority of people are just aiming for bonds with others and finding out how to live comfortably as themselves.
I was a teenager in the 80s and I was over critical of my awkward teenage issues, but I just couldn't wait till I was an adult and my looks would improve, and I was right, it's just growing pains and changes are normal. I think your right it's really too much on identity and all these labels attached to how you feel about yourself is just normal. Just be your best you and except yourself as you are. Like a book a psychologist recommend to me. Titled: I'm ok your ok.
@@steelhurricane4041 Gonna have to disagree with you on one point, specifically saying that "how you feel about yourself is just normal." I'm pretty sure you mean that all people internally perceive themselves a certain way and yet everyone questions themselves to some degree, but please correct me if I'm wrong about that. With that being said, for trans people, even a lot of detransitioners, the whole point of trying to figure ourselves out is that we don't fit everyone else's version of normal. Our perception of ourselves doesn't match what others perceive us as, at least until we medically transition, which is why many trans people focus heavily onto identity until we get to the point where we're comfortable with ourselves. Everyone is focused on identity though, it's just that some focus on it less than others. "I was a teenager in the 80s," is how you started your comment, showing that even you care at least a bit
@@tuwuesday mine was different. I sat in the bathroom one evening, figuring stuff out, I was thinking, mommy has this and daddy got that... Then I clicked, why didn't I have what mommy does? Like I'm supposed to? And as I realized that, I blanked out for 10mins being woken up by my mother angry for why I'm taking so long to get out of the bath. I let the water out already. It's never been a feeling, it's been a knowing.
As a straight 53 year old lady. It has taken me 40 years to realise that you need to love yourself as you are. You do not need other people to validate you as a lovely human being. As long as you don’t hurt anyone doing what you do. Once you learn to love yourself everything else falls into place.
It really does make me sad that the LGBT community doesn't want to acknowledge this issue. They will defend planned parenthood to the grave. This is a real problem and LGBT should never shame you for this. At the end of the day we are all human, trans, gay, straight, whatever you are. We can have these discussions, that is real PROGRESS. Progressive doesn't simply mean acceptance and abandonment to people who are having identity health crisis's. Trans may be the answer for some, but not all! And that is OKAY! Thanks for sharing your story.
I first need to start and say thank you for your support for the most part. I too want what is best for everyone but have to disagree with you on PP. Planned Parenthood doesn't just hand over testosterone. She had to of lied to them about dysphoria. Without dysphoria there is not only no reason to have treatment but you can not be approve unless you pay out of pocket. Trying to figure yourself out is not a reason any MD would ever hand over a highly controlled substance. She herself said she wouldn't want therapy. That is her choice as an ADULT. Every doctor has to ask a series of questions before writing a prescription. Even my highly liberal clinic that focuses on LGBT has an insane amount of questions to answer. I still have to answer to them even after 10 years on T. The fact is insurance will not cover anything until someone is clearly in need. If she would have said what she said in this video, she would have never been given testosterone. The problem here is that many many many people count on PP and other clinics for access to health care. We shouldn't be making life harder than it actually is. There is only so much we can do to prevent people from doing stupid crap like this. Now she made a mistake. She clearly needs to get help. The fact that she thought transitioning had anything to do with sexuality should have been the first red flag. Sexuality is something completely separate. We can't kill access to care simply because someone made a stupid mistake. A complete careless mistake. From watching this video I think she needs to seek help. Well of course she does. This could be something along the lines of borderline personality disorder. Something that should be made very clear is that It isn't just PP that gives access to care like this. It is many health clinics around the globe. Even the one you go to probably has someone that can write a script for someone like me. It just isn't advertised. The first prescription I was written was at a regular clinic in the conservative south. I answered a series of questions and they approved me. You would have to limit access to all clinics not just PP. The real question is why target PP when this is the standard for every clinic? Making it harder for us to get care is no the answer. She could have easily went through the steps to see a psychologist (who doesn't even have a medical license) and answered the questions the same way and still received the same result.
@@beaubreau thank you for educating me I’m not very familiar with the requirements for hormones are! . I agree 100% making it harder is not the answer, but education and making sure someone sees a therapist should be taken more serious! Much love ❤️
@@jujeybeanzz I already regretted writing what I wrote after I hit sent. That is I do wish there was a way of preventing people like her from avoiding this but my bias is also obviously pointing to more access and availability. Why because I benefit from it. As the story of bias goes. I think some of these youtubers don't tell the whole story though. So some of my response came from being annoyed. Even with that said there are probably many confused people out there in her situation that somehow we need to prevent from getting through the cracks. Therapists I think can be wonderful but you have to be willing to see one. Even then, she could have said the same thing to them as her doctors knowing what needs to be said to be approved. For me of course I am biased. No way in hell I would want to see a therapists on the matter. That is, I am a mentally healthy person with a rational. The way I see it is like this... if I can go get breast implants without a therapist I should be able to have them removed without a therapist. To be honest my feelings on this is ego and principal based. I would rather pay out of pocket than see a therapist to have insurance cover my top. Where my bias was lacking is that some people are mentally ill and it has absolutely nothing to do with being trans. That some of those people fall through the cracks but it is far in between. They used to make it to where you had to see a therapist but found that it made more sense to have your doctor sit with you and answer the same questions. This all comes down to it not being considered a mental disorder. The part we are missing is that some people actually do have mental disorders that are completely unrelated to being trans. So it is very much more of a grey area for me. That is, I could have told her she wasn't trans without being a therapist so why is this happening?
@@beaubreau I think people want to be something that gives them an excuse or way out of hard times, not saying all trans people are doing this but it seems that's what keeps the whole "transtrender" phenomenon alive. And also, I hate to say it but the advocates for children transitioning is a slippery slope. They don't want to hurt anybodies feelings or invalidate them, but if we just allow people to believe they are trans without proper guidance then I see situations like this girls happening far too often then they should. But I also have a strong belief that these issues will become less taboo and more important to LGBT+ activists!
I'm a transman (FTM) with OCD, I always have intrusive thoughts of "what if I'm not trans." This video has been in my recommended all summer and I've been scared to watch it out of fear that I'll come to a horrifying realization, and decided to finally watch it since I'm having surgery next month... but after watching it I feel better knowing that i AM trans because I truly cannot relate to most of your story. If I could suddenly move my whole life somewhere else and have to identify as female and undo what testosterone did to me, I think I'd be pretty miserable. Thank you for sharing!
Exactly the same thought-wise because of OCD, except I'm nonbinary. Had a lot of thoughts like "Shit, what if I am just a tomboy?" or "am I just a bad feminist who doesn't want to be associated with women stereotypes?" And nope to both! Definitely just nonbinary. All the power to women who are confident being women, but that's just not me!
As someone who has no idea what having dysphoria is like, how would you describe it? Does it feel deeply rooted in your biology? Sorry if this is prying, I'm just genuinely curious and never feel comfortable asking people in person in fear of being attacked for asking.
I have a trans gender daughter and every time I mention the possibility of thinking these things through before going through with everything it is viewed as being trans phobic. And when this happens, it shuts everything down and causes a big divide and anger. If my daughter is truly transgender, I will absolutely support her/him. I just want her/him to be 100% sure. Does anyone know who this RUclips blonde haired detransitioner is. I truly want both sides. I love my child and would do anything for their happiness. But I need them to be happy with themselves first. Thank you for this video. It has helped me so much. This story is almost exactly what she/he has gone through in the younger years.
Well no offense but ppl calling asking questions trans phobia are just mentally ill and probably aren’t very intelligent. Edit: ShapeShifter is a yt channel (I believe they are from Kuwait originally) that talks about how they transitioned Male to Female and are now in the process of transitioning “back” to male. Unfortunately, they had gender reassignment surgery and they gave her a neovagina that they claim doesn’t work. Is painful. Has only a 2 inch depth. And they also say they miss their male reproductive organs and phallus. I am born female and I got a boob job at 22. Thought I needed it and it would change me and help me feel better. It did not. Actually, I hated it so much. I got depressed, gained weight from stress eating, couldn’t work out and feel good, couldn’t sleep right. This is JUST a boob job. Fortunately, I had my implants removed at 25 and I’m on the mend. The only reason I shared my experience with plastic surgery is bc it’s altering your being and you might think it’s just skin deep but it can do things to you mentally and emotionally. Ppl make the argument that 16 is a rational age to decide to get your breasts completely removed (top surgery) and to decide to get their reproductive organs changed medically. I just think it’s easy to overlook the possibility of huge mental and emotional problems not to mention physical problems… but like I said I was 22 years old thinking I knew what I wanted and I was so wrong. I hope nobody has to feel the intensity of medically altering something so much bigger, like sex. I hope the best for your kid.
In my opinion if they are biologically male consider hormone blockers. Based on your families genes the male puberty your child may experience will be permanent. I started taking hormones at 17 for me I was lucky because it stopped further development of my Adam’s apple and thicker facial hair, my voice dropping didn’t cause any issues for me but this isn’t the case for a lot of people. I got lucky with some things but I wish I had started them sooner. A lot of the time blocking hormones for children is used until they reach a point where they can make that decision and be fully sure. If not they can stop taking the blockers and resume puberty as normal. To give you the other side of the coin there are various risks to be aware of like the risk of osteoporosis and other issues if this isn’t done properly. Hormone replacement therapy is still classified as experimental and there hasn’t been a lot of research on the long term effects of hormone blockers in humans. It’s so nice that you are doing your own research as a parent because that means your really care.
@@k.c.2339 No, you can't pause puberty and just restart it. You have to be a fool to believe that. There are ZERO studies that show the long-term effects of puberty blockers, and while some effects will resume (a girl MIGHT resume her period for example) most of what we do know doesn't look that promising. You see, you're putting a pause on puberty but not aging. Your body will continue to grow, but all the necessary functions, aren't coming with you. Those who are on puberty blockers have decreased bone density. There's also an increased risk of swelling in the brain
@@k.c.2339 absolutely NOT, dont try to promote hormone blockers, you realize theyre chemotheraphy drugs right? and that the most common one is lupron (said to castrate people since 2007 so dont even start with this "right wing propaganda" stuff) when an organ lacks corresponding hormones it atrophies, organ atrophy so far isnt reversible, what happens to your cells when exposed to radiation or starving is what we also call atrophy, why do you think the other option is radiation theraphy? cause thats also safe? these drugs are given when the only other option is to completely remove said organ
Honestly, many smokers have this voice. It can sound sultry in certain ways. I think once your hormones are back in balance the voice pitch will go up. Your face is very beautiful and feminine so don’t be concerned.
My voice is pretty similar to her's, not quite the same, maybe a tiny bit less deep, but close, and I'm cis. I don't personally like my voice because it just sounds weird (I don't really mind that it's deep, it's just got an odd sound to me), but a lot of people like it apparently.
I know vocal feminization is a thing, and there is a great video by “impulsive collection DID” who is a mtf trans woman going over how to do it. I don’t see why a woman, who’s voice has been altered by testosterone wouldn’t be able to use the same technique that mtf transistioners use in order to regain some of that feminine quality to their voice. That being said, I think that her voice still sounds attractive and she shouldn’t feel self conscious while still trying to work on it!
Jerry N. She can still try. Some mtf trans women who transition after puberty can sometimes get a voice that sounds female. Voice therapy can help to some extent.
This popped up on my recommended, I don't even know anyone who's trans (that I know of) but I still watched this whole video, thanks for sharing your story it was very informative and interesting
Same, CIS white male, had never even heard of detransitioning before. Just a really fascinating perspective on finding yourself and who we are, like really are as people. I myself have felt the urge to be pretty before, I've called myself a princess a few times, but I'm not gay and I'm not bi. I'm just a straight male that sometimes feels like that picture of Richard Branson dressed as a stewardess.
Same here. I was working and it just autoplayed. I think I was watching a Neil degras tyson video about ‘the singularity’ and this came on. But I have to say it was equally as entertaining and I probably learned more from this video lol
There is a huge problem with letting people transition without therapy and a proper diagnosis with gender dysphoria. With therapy so many things could be solved in these cases
The Mold Kingdom I can understand why you feel like that because something I feel like they do. I just wanted to say my tia is a therapist and I can tell she really cares for them. The job can be emotionally draining in a lot of different ways. I just want to say that there are therapists that really do care for your health and make sure they keep your information a private. If they don’t keep it private they can get fired or maybe even lose their license. I am not very educated in this but I hope this helped or anything like that. I hope you have a good day :D
The Mold Kingdom not every therapist is like this. I'm sorry if you had bad experience, but don't say stuff like this and scare people that need help away from getting it
I'm a straight female but was a total Tom Boy as a kid. I still am kinda. LOL. I always wanted to be a boy, but I am so thankful I didn't grow up nowadays because I may have been labeled gay or trans. I feel for young people today with all the misinformation. I believe that I was more comfortable playing with boys and boys games vs girly stuff because I have probably been male in past lives more than female. Ok, so that's another story, try not to judge, but that could be a piece of the puzzle for some. Great video. My advice is to enjoy yourself however you are. Don't try to be something you aren't. Luckily I have a great husband who accepts the fact that his wife doesn't like dresses, makeup, etc. Anyway, take care. Love yourself and be safe.
The root of the problem is the stereotypes for 'masculine' and 'feminine' and how societal standards control our definitions of these terms. Its always better to find peace with yourself regardless of what others think.
I agree in part, but as a society we have been pushing past gender stereotypes. However Trans activists have been locked on to "gender norms" more so than most people in general.
@@GuardianDarkAngel Yeah I agree, and sometimes it creates a toxic environment. "Popular' people and 'losers'. I hate it. It happens everywhere in any social group that lacks proper introspection. Sometimes people like to tribalize any sort of social group they fall into, they don't do it on purpose but it creates a social sinkhole. There were studies done on mice and rat social behavior that sometimes hold true as a comparison... but ONLY because people lack self-awareness and innovation.
Nonsense, gender serves a reproductive function which is more fundamental then the social behavior that pack animals use to enable their pack and group behaviors. Thus, it's probably much more accurate to say that social 'constructs' confrom to gender rather than vice versa. This is supported by the fact all societies in human history have had broadly speaking the same gender roles. Remember biology informs fundamental behavior not the other way around.
@@deathtdow Yes but it isn't until now that most of our needs are met. Before people worried a lot about getting sick, getting killed by wild animals or other humans, running out of food. Let me refer you to a study on rats search the words "nimh" and "rat study" "rat utopia". Today things are getting so crowded, especially on the internet and people are so..spoiled that we are beginning to exhibit some of the behavioral sinkholes that the rats exhibit.
This is the danger of labels. Kids feeling weird because they don’t have a label to call themselves. You are who you are and sometimes there isn’t a label for it. All these terms for sexualities and gender identification can confuse people. Life is confusing enough. Just be who you are! Who care what category it lands under.
I was a teenager in the 90's and we hated labels. I remember people getting called out for labeling someone. We just wanted to be ourselves, and that could vary from day-to-day because we were still getting to know ourselves. The birth of social media made us feel like we were all supposed to categorize ourselves, and I can see how confusing it would be for younger people. I wish we could just drop all the labels, be ourselves, and love and respect others for who they are as human beings.
@@Lux_Lethal I was just about to say this, and I told my son this. We didn't want to be labeled. He's already labeling himself and his girlfriend who wants to he called the pronoun 'they". Dude your 12! Quit taking yourself so serious!
Yep. Hard labels suck but she just seemed like a confused tomboy to me. Nothing bad about that. If she waited a bit and got older her hormones most likely would of settled and she would of been fine.
It sounds like your journey was heavily influenced by societal norms, which expect us all to fall within set categories. We aren't compassionate enough. We aren't teaching our children how to handle their emotions and learn to love themselves. We aren't prioritizing healthcare, particularly mental healthcare. I'm sorry the road to finding yourself has been so long and winding, but it sounds like you're doing well.
Anyone who just listens to 5 minutes of this story can see just how complex this entire issue is. Given how complex these identity issues are, it just makes me so mad how easy it is for children to make decisions that will affect their entire life, seemingly without any serious medical decision making applied. I do not pretend to understand even the smallest fraction of this topic, but surely there needs to be some serious in-depth analysis of each case lasting over a period of time and involving extensive therapy before any irreversible treatment is prescribed. The problem I see is that it seems to be going the other way, where it is becoming easier and easier and excluding parents from the picture.
Yup. I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to type it and trivialize her video.. but now that you said it - I feel free to say it too. Gorgeous!
When I was younger I wanted to be a boy just because I was afraid of men and I thought it would be more secure to live as a boy, i'm glad I did not tell anyone about this wish, cause now I know I didn't want to be a boy, I was just scared of being a girl
i can relate. I think you are not the only one. There are a lot of women out there that feel like there are certain things with society that they don't approve of or not feel completely safe/reassuring. I happen to be a young woman and at times i really struggle with accepting myself and my surroundings. i don't lack confidence but at times feel like society is trying to size me up.
Thanks for sharing this. After identifying as FTM for years in high school, it was very difficult for me to detransition socially. I still feel weird bringing it up to people. I really appreciate your openness about your story.
„I thought I looked decent.. sometimes“ Are you kidding me? You are a beautiful women. You don‘t have to change a thing about yourself, just take your time and talk to people that can help you explore your needs (not preferences) and understanding yourself better. Imho the worst thing you can do to yourself is not to give yourself enough time that you need to reflect on yourself. Time is abundant. Hormones can change things so rapidly and leave you with irreversible changes. Better safe than sorry - even if that means that you are not comfortable with who you think you are or should be: nobody is, until they figure out what it is they truly want and need.
I feel like modern kids are being encouraged to find something that’s wrong with them. Growing up can be shitty and awkward and uncomfortable, not really CAN be. It IS. The world we live in is harder each year. It doesn’t always mean that there’s individual problems with each of us.
Absolutely. We need to go back to the basics, time has shown it's what works. All this "Progressiveness" is making society sick. To anyone reading this do what feels right, not what you think is trendy and will be accepted.
They are being encouraged to find something wrong with themselves. No one is telling them that adolescence is an awkward stage whether you are a boy or a girl and it is normal to feel uncomfortable with your changing body. I am very against junior school children being given detailed information about being trans. Children do not have the understanding or life experience to process this information.
So I’m a straight white male and tbh I have no idea why this showed up in my feed but I honestly found this video to be incredibly interesting and Insightful. Like yeah I’m not gay or trans or anything but that’s probably why this intrigued me so much because you don’t really hear much about trans people (tbh I’ve never really supported it but idc how someone else lives their life so it’s not for me to decide) and I found seeing her perspective to be so fascinating because it’s something most people never think or take into consideration. We all live our lives the way we want but the end of the day we should all fine what resonates with us and makes us who we are and stand by it. Thanks for sharing and best of luck Edit: didn’t think this would get as much attention as it did haha
@Reece Selby I don't think that the other person is trying to argue. what they said is right we don't get to agree or disagree of other people existance. The og, being a straight cis person, has probation never educated himself on lgbtq+ issues so maybe he doesn't understand that even if he said that he doesn't care about what others do he also said that he never supported it and to me it sounded a little bit transphobic, maybe that wasn't his intentions but it's still better to point it out so that he won't make the same mistake in the future. (to the og: you said you were a man so I used he/him if these aren't your pronouns let me know and I will change them )
@@whoareyoutoaccuseme I didn't hear about it alot either until I started following a lot of trans people on Instagram and RUclips and I don't have many LGBTQIA+ people in my social circle. The RUclips algorithm and the community you live in puts you in a sort of bubble and you can go many years without hearing much of trans people. You know they exist, but you are not really educated about this topic until the youtube algorithm somehow recommends something like this and you are intrigued enough to click on it :)
Gibrin MJ Sankara this whole comment is a strawman lol. He never said he disagrees with a trans person’s existence, also what does that mean? Im curious. He also has a right to disagree or agree with someones decision or “existence” as you put it, regardless of what you say. But getting to the point, my understanding is that he is speaking from a place of never actively supporting trans people or the trans movement. This is not bigoted or transphobic at all. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense and if you’d like to, please make an elaboration or statement rephrasing what you just said.
Hey my name is Ryan also. I also detransitioned MTFTM. I have zero regrets, I did exactly what I needed to do to 'reset' myself after finding myself deep in depression after a divorce and young life being a heavy drinker. I consider it my 'Phoenix rebirth' and it saved my life. Sometimes we need fire to burn away the parts of us that do not serve us. Happy for you that you found your way back to your personal power.
@@z4781 Oh absolutely. It took the darkest chapter of my life and filled it with light and experience. I think of it like this, my male self became traumatized so my female nature rose up to protect and nurture me and took the reins for a while. I healed, and my masculine energy rebalanced. I feel more complete as a person because of the process having known more of myself and a deeper view of people in general.
I love your story. While listening to this video I was hoping she had no regrets like this. I think it is WAY better to experience adapting to your problems and finding the result, even if it is different than you expected. You two never have to worry about being the wrong gender anymore because you understand all sides of it. I recently found out I am genderless. I don't fit in the binary for cis or trans so I am doing lots of research into seeing what kind of things I want to go through. Specially since androgyny is what I am going for, I have a lot of different options about what masculine or feminine things I want in my life. I do feel bad though that she is having a hard time with her ace identity. I hope she realizes that it is ok to NOT want romantic relationships with people and she does not need to try to "fix" her disinterest in it. I think it was the new life that felt more freeing to her than being male. It sounds like she dropped her past life and didn't talk to people that new her old self. It can be really freeing to leave those who feel entitled to you.
Thank you for doing this video. I've lived my life as a cis woman, married, had children and now grandchildren but have struggled to figure out what the deal is with me and intimate relationships. I've spent most of my life happily single now. Also an introvert and apparently asexual. I do have a sex drive, I just don't really want another participant involved in the action if you know what i mean. I know I'm not gay, I tried to convince myself that perhaps I was, just in pondering, I do find women beautiful, I just don't want to have sex with them. So I decided well I'm straight, but that hasn't worked either. Asexual it is. Hope your detransition is going well and that you've been happy, well other than the Covid thing, this past year.
I’ve been a semi closeted trans man for 3 years and now I’m questioning if it really is me being trans or if maybe I have dysmorphia. This video is helping a lot. There is not a lot of videos of people realizing their not trans. And it’s scary to think because I don’t want to be a “trender”
That's cool you are actually considering the fact you might be mistaken. It's hard for most people to accept being wrong. Learn from people like the maker of this video. You can always de-transition but things will never be the same as the were pre-transition. It would be very wise to avoid having that problem if you dont transition. Either way, whatever you decide, its great to consider every possible outcome. Good luck to you.
Please go get counseling from someone who specializes. My ex-wife needed to transition such that she ended up with giant medical bills she went into bankruptcy for? So I got the impression that needing to transition is a really hardcore pressure for a number of trans people.
Find a Group to dress up with others with the same issues. But as long as you don’t do anything permanent. Our thoughts and feelings are fickle. Always changing. I changed in many ways throughout my life. Just keep that freedom where you can dress & look how you feel at the moment. Just not permanent. I’m dealing with a few things I did when I was young.
I agree with don't do anything permanent. Stay with doing things that help make you feel comfortable with yourself. Clothes, friends. Counseling might help. I always feel better with group therapy because although psychiatrists and psychologists are trained in ways to help they have not experienced from the inside how I feel. Some groups work better than others so if it doesn't work the first time it probably is NOT you. Just might be a bad mix. And be careful of labels like trender. Just be you. No label needed.
A a trans guy, I went through months of therepy and for years weeded out other causes. That’s where I came to the conclusion I was trans. Being trans takes careful planning and lots of work and therepy to realize who you are. If careful thinking (that takes months) or therepy needs to occur. At the end of the day we are all trying to find ourselves and do what makes us happy. Ultimately if you’re not happy with anything you should change it. You look great btw.
mhm i’ve been in therapy for about a year and a half and i’m still nowhere near ready to come out publicly or start hormones. i think there should be a professional outsider perspective to help transfolk on their journey :)
My question, as a straight guy, to you is, how have you dealt with the physical element? I mean, I am not in the "toxic masculinity" brigade, but men are.... we fight physically. While I was athletic and pretty tough growing up, I was constantly fighting/fending off physical confrontations with guys who were much bigger and stronger than me. Now that I am older, people actually do depend on me and other men I know to be a sort of physical defense system of sorts (better to have a dog, lol). But do you know what I mean? That aspect has always been a constant...not even issue, just a reality in my life. How did you feel about now being someone whom society might have fewer qualms about another person punching in the face, versus a female, whom people would almost 100% say not to physically assault. Again, I am totally not trying to instigate. I am asking about it sincerely because I've been scared as hell physically even as a weight-lifting, exercising, fit, varsity athlete, what have you. tldr; how has the male propensity to physical violence/fighting influenced your experience as a trans man? If this question/post irritates you, I can remove it. It really is an honest question based on what I have experienced but not knowing how a trans man would feel about it. (Oh, and for this particular question, I am not referring to bigots who are against you for being trans....I mean just where you totally fit in/pass/whatever, and it's just guys being guys... you're just another dude.)
@Infinite Signy Lol, I didn't and don't fight "on the daily," lol, but it was common growing up, so my question was about dealing with that. It was not fun, and so my question was about that and sincere. So, if you don't like the question, that's fine, but it was asked honestly, and I believe I phrased it in a way that would make it clear that those challenges growing up were not invited but quite common (you might have heard of bullying, haha).
Social life is absolutely not a reason to transition and I hope that’s one of the takes that people digest from this video. Regardless, glad you’re on the path that’s most clear to you now.
I am a truly happy and blessed transgender lady of over 7 years. I loved your video. Thank you for being so open and honest. You are a wonderful, beautiful person. I hope you have an amazing life. Hugs, Robbie Dee
@@garyoz1821 Well, thank you for your opinion Gary. Please, do tell, by what have you referenced in my life that brings you to such a conclusion? Let's see if you are able to have it a decent conversation here.
I can't even imagine how razor-thin the line between wanting to be sure someone is ready to make this decision, but also not make them feel ashamed or judged for taking the step of wanting to change this aspect of themselves. On a separate note, I hope that you eventually come to knowing that being asexual is not a bad thing or something that needs to be "fixed". And being asexual doesn't mean you have to live your life alone. Companionship is still perfectly fine to want to have, completely separate from any sexual component. I hope you find whatever middle ground it is that you want/need when it comes to companionship vs. independence/individuality.
Except that she's a piece of work that isn't interested in a relationship....I bet she's supported by parents, doesn't work and self absorbed.....bye felicia
Don't beat yourself up. People make mistakes, life is about finding things out. Seek support from people you trust. I think you are a very attractive young woman with a good attitude, If you feel de-transitioning is best for your life and health, do it, You live only once. Stay safe!
Life is also about having children, something you give up when you transition. You become infertile when you transition from one sex to the other, and you don't get it back if you detransition. Making mistakes and learning from said mistakes is part of life, yes, but learning from your mistake doesn't matter in the case of permanent consequences like becoming infertile... It's not like you can just say "Okay, i wont be making that mistake again." when the only consequence of said mistake is permanent and irreversible, in which case, learning from said mistake, is irrelevant, because it doesn't fix anything, you've already made the mistake, the damage is done, there's nothing to learn. :P For humans, life is about predicting the future, so that you avoid making those mistakes... In other words, you heave to learn from the mistakes, BEFORE they happen, by predicting and anticipating them... This is why we have the biggest brains in the animal kingdom. Use your head people... Don't just learn from mistakes, anticipate lessons, predict lessons, learn from the potential future, ffs.
Madao having children is a choice. There are infertile cis-people who are infertile and if they want children they find a way to have them. Use your brains and dont force your priorities onto everyone else, mind your own business and life.
LOVE that you posted this, even with, and especially with, fears of being misunderstood. Thank you SO MUCH. You said so many things that apply to so many people.
I feel a little weird watching this cuz I'm FTM pre T and I can relate to a lot of what you're saying but in the opposite way (if that make sense) I don't understand why other trans people just hate so much the ones who detransition cuz I'm more sure about me being trans when I see people like you then seeing other trans people. And it's also like something that confirms to myself that I would not regret to transition. I so glad that you did this video. You had no Idea.
@Liam Greenfield I am very disforic about my voice. Every time I talk, I feel like it's something wrong cuz my natural voice is very high and feminine. But when I am talking to myself inside my mind my voice is always a masculine voice. I don't know how my voice is in my dreams cuz nobody speaks out loud it's like telepathy. And I am always a cis man or a trans man when I am dreaming...
@@andkarv Ever think that maybe the masculine voice is just pleasant to you? I don't usually narrate to myself but often hear feminine voices in my head, memories, quotes or I'm reading a female character or some such. never mind the stereotype of the girl with daddy issues, It's called a stereotype for a reason. Also I can do sort of a girly voice, but I don't do it much cause I don't wanna screw up my vocal cord. Hell I barely speak any ways.
As someone who was recommended this video seemingly out of the blue (thanks RUclips Algorithm?), I wanted to let you know that your story touched me in a positive way. Your confidence to be able to put this out is admirable, and as someone who knew a few Transgender people in college and has a few Transgender friends now, I'm only surprised I haven't met someone who's met with your complete struggle. What I loved about your video was its genuine and honest nature and I wanted to let you know that your own personality and honesty led me to subscribe to the channel to just share in your experiences. I hope you've found a lot of positivity for taking this risk (In the comments) and that this is just one step in line to many that help you further understand, find and love yourself.. Sorry if that was a bit much. Stay awesome
Teenagers are always tying to find themselves. Trying to latch on to a unique identity. Society offers are these identity labels, but ultimately, that doesn't change who a person really is.
Honestly needed to hear this. I'm getting into crossdressing and I've always had a part of me that wants to be a girl. I don't have dysphoria in regards to my *bits* but I've never really cared for other guys and preferred hanging out with girls growing up. Grew up in a really religious home that was strict about falling thru with gender roll stereotypes in very toxic manners. I have a tendency to go over the top when I get into something and impulse control is really hard for me at times. Hearing you talk about detransitioning is kinda what I need to stay grounded and slow down a bit. Thank you for sharing!
thanks for sharing your story. a lot of similarities between ours. welcome to the path of finding yourself, it’s a wonderful journey. :)
Awwww, this is wonderful to see you on this video, Elle!! This warms my heart seeing you here ready to embrace and support!! I knew she was talking about your videos right away when she was describing them! I’m so glad you’ve both made your videos and continue to make videos educating ppl and being so very open and brave!! I’m not trans, but I watch these videos to try to educate and inform myself, to just listen to everyone’s stories and be supportive. The videos you two, and many more, make are desperately needed and are probably really helping so many ppl, pls don’t stop!! It would be really cool if you two could collab, as well as other detransition creators!! Stay strong & keep your chin up!! ❤️❤️
I’m so glad to see the two of you have “met,” now :) A week before this post I suggested on this section that Elle might be who Ryan was trying to think of in this video. I hope you’re both doing well ❤️
I remember watching your detransitioning video, it's honestly beautiful to see two individuals finding they aren't so alone in the world with a struggle.
COLLAB
❤ Elle
This is why therapy before hormones is so insanely important.
I swear and most transgenders have un resolved trauma they dealing with
@@mightybasedzao3057 Though I feel like your tone is a bit hostile, you're not wrong 😂 .. Most societies have always been insanely transphobic and unkind to people who deviate from gender norms, as a result it's almost certain that every trans person grew up with a sense that they are unacceptable in some fundamental ways and that internalised transphobia can be so deeply rooted that we'd mistaken it for our own inner critic. I'm a trans guy and growing up in asia with very strongly defined gender expectations and parents who are traditional in this regard, deeply messed me up hahaah. I transitioned at 21 three years ago after pretty catastrophic fights with my parents when I came out to them at 19. I always had very realistic expectations for transitioning, I guess. Which was why although I was desperate to get T I also wasn't... necessarily happy. Because I know it wasn't going to solve my problems, it will just make leaving the house more bearable. I think my relatively trauma-less life amplified the internally inflicted trauma as a result of the misogyny, cis/heteronormativity, transphobia due to the social environment i grew up in plus a common case of childhood emotional neglect. I really only recently started to pin point why I've always felt so... lonely growing up, and still feel lonely and incapable of dating even though I have a lot of friends and is not necessarily emotionally or socially inept. I think it makes sense now, because it is quite profoundly lonely to feel like you're the only person in the world you know that feels the way you do about your sex and gender. I believe that's a feeling most trans people can identify with in some way, not to mention that a lot of us have also had to deal with bullying or abuse. So yea... I guess my point is.. I think a lot of trans people have a hard time being able to process or deal with trauma growing up because of the sense of isolation and not feeling seen or understood as a person. Whatever shit that happens in their life they will have to deal with it while carrying this additional baggage constantly.
You are a very beautiful woman. With all the respect you deserve I think you should do some therapy, it will help you so mucho.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Lots of red flags here. A competent gender therapist is imperative. A lot of people complain about the “gatekeepers,” but they serve a critical role that’s being minimized too much these days. The WPATH standards are critical to follow to help prevent people who aren’t trans from transitioning. It never ends well. Transition won’t solve anything other than help relieve gender dysphoria and help align your body & mind better. So if you don’t see yourself as the opposite biological sex and don’t have gender dysphoria, you shouldn’t be transitioning. It’s not some kind of magic bullet.
When any of us older transsexuals say any of this, though, we get attacked as siscum transmedicalists. I can’t tell you how many death threats I’ve had just from saying how there’s a process that needs to be followed, or for calling out red flags.
But way too many people _who aren’t trans_ are transitioning these days, and it’s really dangerous. It shouldn’t be easy. For an actual transsexual, it can be life saving - it saved my life. But it requires an immense amount of self work.
Being trans isn’t a choice, you either are or you aren’t. Most aren’t, and that’s a good thing. I wished all my life, prior to transition, that I didn’t have to deal with this. None of us wanted this. If someone feels they have a choice or are doing this as a fashion or political statement, they should stop immediately.
*People should NOT transition unless it’s their only choice.*
MightyBasedZao For actual, real transsexuals, there’s no higher incidence of trauma unless they faced lack of acceptance from family, friends or themselves, from a religion, or from going through mental gymnastics trying to deny their gender dysphoria. What I see most these days are people who aren’t even trans who are dealing with trauma and mental / emotional issues who _think_ they’re trans and think it will somehow fix their problems. It won’t, it will only further confuse things.
I never had any abuse or trauma myself aside from the spiritual trauma of being told how horrible LGBT people were growing up, and hearing how horrifically society spoke about trans people and knowing I had these issues. This was during the 80s and 90s when we really were treated poorly. Trans people weren’t really discussed at all unless it was as part of a joke.
Things really became problematic once the social justice woke crowd adopted trans issues and started taking that whole thing over. Things were, in many ways, better when it wasn’t discussed so widely everywhere.
Bring trans isn’t “cool,” trans people aren’t “brave.” We’re just people doing what we need to in order to survive. They’ve done us no favors by doing what they’ve done. The worst are the über woke “allies” who think they’re helping trans people.
I was always complaining as a kid that I wanted to be a boy. The only reason I said that, was because the boys were allowed to climb trees and had the best toys. Later I suffered from mental illness after experiencing sexual abuse and talked to a doctor about transitioning and having all my sexual organs removed. The reason why I wanted to do this, was because I feared men (because of the abuse) and I feared having men be attracted to me. I'm glad I didn't transition, because now, after 37 years of trying to overcome my problems, I am extremely happy to be married to an amazing man that I do not fear in the least, and look forward to having my own children. I dread the thought of what I could have done to myself.
I have a very similar story 💖
🤗🙏
Same here. So happy things got better for you 💕
Not all trans people share your reasons. I was 2 years old and knew something was wrong before I even understood what gender was. I've suffered with gender dysphoria all my life. I didn't want to be a boy scout or wear boys clothes or play with toys traditionally assigned to males because they were better. Still, transitioning would have been wrong for me, but NOT because my gender isn't male. You can't call transitioning a mistake for everyone, just because it doesn't work out or isn't the right path for some of us.
When you're young you worry about what people think of you. When you get a little older, you stop caring what they think of you. When you get even older you realize they weren't thinking about you in the first place.
exactly, plus we dont finish developing until 25 yrs of age
Ive heard that our brains need until the age of 25, to be fully developed physically & emotionally, so that socially we're ready.
OFF topic: This is why the military recruiters go ham on
people that are 17-18 yrs old. Realistically most 21-25 yr olds would refuse to join the military. Their demographic is an 18 yr old who still has a strong sense of right & wrong, that still thinks in black & white, or good & bad.
Most 18 yr olds havent quite experienced much of the adult decision making skills, where there exists THREE or more decision options to ANY plan or PROBLEM.
For example, l can think of at least FOUR different solutions to ANY problem or choice.
a Good choice
a Better choice
the Best choice
and/or
NO choice
LoL networkgeek....its great learning that they really WEREN'T thinking of (you) us....
I had to learn earlier than most to stop giving a fuck about what people thought of me.
I always was socially awkward and didn't feel like I fit in with other people, I struggled a lot with making friends as a child. I was friendless at school, I had selective mutism so I felt anxiety and couldn't even speak, which lead me to being called names or being accused of "faking it", and when I wanted to try to overcome my fear of speaking to my classmates, I was concerned about the reactions I would get for defying the expectations they had on me. I did my best effort, and by the time I reached 4th grade I took the courage to finally speak to a new classmate and was integrated to a friend group, but that didn't diminish my insecurities and I spent a good portion of my childhood overthinking the things I should say or obsessing about past interactions and being highly critical of myself.
When I was about 13 years old, I transfered into another school, and I made the resolution to stop caring about what other people think, because it's unhealthy and I only hurt myself. It was the right thing to do, I became more self-assured and allowed myself to be more spontaneus in conversations instead of over-analysing every little thing, which helped me make friendships with other people easier.
Today I see many young people constantly seeking for validation, and thinking the only way to be happy in by being "validated" by strangers. You hear it all the time on social media, the "you're valid" thing, "this is valid, that is valid"... NO ONE holds the power to tell someone else whether you're "valid" or not.
I wish children and teens could learn to love themselves in a healthy way, without seeking validation or attention from others, but unfortunatly social media creates a constant need for the latter.
@@ReggieTime which one would you pick?
I'm so grateful I'm a man and I know that I'm a man. This gender confusion thing is absolutely horrible.
What like a biological man
So you weren't born with a vagina?
No you meant to day like a "plural" man.
@@infiniteepoch8 born a man?
@@infiniteepoch8 I just find it a sad fact that there are so many people dissatisfied with themselves to the point where they get surgery. Facial plastic surgery is also disheartening in the same way
As a psych nurse and a member of the healthcare community, I think it’s an absolute travesty that therapy and psych evaluations are not the first line of recommendations by MDs. I hate that mental health is still so stigmatized. It is also monstrous that some MDs and plastic surgeons make a lot of money off of these individuals without any regard for their physical or mental health. We have to do better.
Absolutely!
@@paulas2218 Everyone else says it's a lot harder than that to get hormones, so she must have been a crack in the system. Other people go through counseling first, so maybe it's the place she went to that was bad.
There’s so much $$$$ to make from vulnerable people!
@@WindyDays2009 The person who went to court recently in the UK was said to have only had 3 one hour therapy sessions before being given hormone treatment. This was UK private care.
There has also been a case in US where a clinic was closed down by trans activists because the doctor insisted in proper diagnosis instead 'believe trans'. It 's like these activists are asking for enabling of self diagnosis over actual diagnosis and proper safe guarding, and the market is buckling under that push.
They are making counseling brfore transitioning illegal. Calling it conversion therapy if the counselor dares to suggest there might be something else that could help.
Basic fact of life: No matter how far you run, you always take yourself with you.
???
Patrick Slim why “???” Did that comment not make sense with you?
@@Maverekt 🛫 🧠
Otis Thelonius 😂😂😂😂
@@Maverekt yeah, exactly
How is anybody allowed to go on T without ever seeing a therapist?
No idea. I think this is a huge problem that needs to be addressed.
I was able to do it without seeing a therapist. I made an appt with my PCP and she asked if I wanted to start hormones that day. I was very surprised. I was prepared to go through extensive therapy before getting hormones. I agree more should be done on this.
It's almost scary how on-demand hormones. Like a therapist should help a lot.
I'm MTF and go I to Planned Parenthood what does basic HRT they just give you hormones and don't even really test your hormone levels.
Its business! The free market economy. They don't care. There's good money in it. Thats the truth.
black market
.happens alot
My takeaway: people are really fearful of being wrong, of not knowing and making mistakes. We tell ourselves we should be sure about who’s the love of our life, our dream career, our sexual orientation… SURE about EVERYTHING. But it’s okay to explore, discover, experiment. Instead of judging us for dedicating time to something not permanent. Nothing is permanent, it’s okay to wonder.
Obviously impulsive decisions are a problem too, but accepting we didn’t took the best path for us is more important than being always right… NO ONE is always right. We put inhuman standards over us. Let’s be kinder.
Many thing are permanent.
i’m using this for an essay thanks
The removal of healthy organs is permanent, is not just about discovering some stuff... not every idea is a great one and should be acted upon just to find out if it's good or a mistake.
You don't play with medication and surgeries. That is not something to "experiment" with.
This. x
6:28 she says “Omg this is awesome. I’m somebody else.” That’s a red flag because when you start chest binding and transitioning socially you should be thinking “omg this is awesome. I’m finally myself.” Stay strong luv. Sending healing and positive vibes your way. You’re beautiful.
Sienna Waters that’s a really inconsiderate take on transitioning. If dysphoria is as debilitating as many trans people say it is, transitioning is not just a superficial idea: it’s a necessity for them to be able to function in a body that matches their perception of themself
Madam Luis that’s your opinion, but there is scientific evidence that trans people’s brains are more similar to the gender they identify as rather than the gender that they were assigned at birth. It’s not that they are pretending to be someone they aren’t, they’re just trying to make their outward appearance match what they know they are internally. Your opinion is irrelevant if science disproves it.
@@madamluis2537 everybody has the right to their own opinion, but a lot of what you're saying is factually wrong.
Transition seems to help trans people to be happier in the overwhelming mayority of cases.
Also, when you said "huge boobs, wigs and high heels" you seem to be describing more a Drag Queen than a trans person. Not the same (unless being a woman is equal to being a Drag Queen).
Also, when you said trans women keep their penis because they know they're men, how can you know that? For me it looks like you're just assuming that based on who knows what.
I think this is all a manifestation of a more basic dilemma: Some people say trans people don't really exist, while trans people claim they exist. The harsh truth is that we can't really know (for what I know the brain tests aren't really that conclusive, there's an overlap on male and female brains). But society won't move forward unless we're willing to trust each other a little more. If trans people achieve happiness trough transition, who are we to judge them? It's a life choice and we shouldn't look down on them for it, specially when is such a hard one that requires so much courage (mind you, being trans ain't easy... but a lot of their problems arise precisely from being rejected by society).
@@madamluis2537 ok so you obviously haven't done your research. Voice dysphoria goes away for the most part or even completely once your voice gets deeper. Same for other areas that you have dysphoria in. I know I'm a man, and transitioning makes me feel comfortable in my skin. If I was to live as the sex I was assigned at birth, I would never be happy because I wouldn't be living as my true self, which is male. That would be living the lie. I am on testosterone and more comfortable in my body and the happiest I've ever been. I couldn't even talk to people because of my voice dysphoria, and it's why I didn't have friends or a job. Now my voice is way deeper and I can finally have conversations with people and feel like myself because my inside voice is finally matching the outside.
@@madamluis2537 if you aren't transgender, it can be hard to understand. There are scientific studies behind this. Scientific brain scans prove that transgender male's brains have similar anatomy to a cis males. The chemicals are that of a cis male, rather than a female. This goes vise versa for trans women as well. Not to mention, people who de-transition do so because their brain anatomy matches their sex assigned at birth. Due to this, they would have dysphoria after transitioning, rather than before. People who are actually transgender have gender dysphoria before, and transitioning relieves that dysphoria. Just the fact that people de-transition if they aren't really trans in the first place, should be enough to you to prove that gender dysphoria exists. I know some people will never understand, but my inside is finally starting to match my outside thanks to testosterone. I am the happiest I've ever been. No longer suicidal because I can live life as my true, authentic self now. When I get surgery it will be even better, and I am so thankful for everything I have and the journey I am on. I don't even tell people I'm trans unless I'm dating them because I want to be seen as a cis male in society. People's view on you changes, and I just wanna be seen as the man I am. Maybe one day you will meet a real trans person and your opinion will change. You can even be friends with someone now who is trans but likes to keep that private, like me. I hope my words spoke to you in a positive way. All that matters to me is that I am happy and living my authentic life.
Therapy isn't promoted as the first line of help because therapy doesn't make drug companies money.
This truth. This simple truth.
Before you’re prescribed hormones from a doctor, you have to have therapy. It’s a requirement.
This way of thinking is so toxic
Or feed the radical Leftist narrative
Thats not the case in this instance. There is huge pressure from the far left, most of who are not trans who think they know what is best for trans people but who do not represent trans people, who are trying to make it illegal for health professionals to question someone's self-identification to ensure the best outcome for patients on an individual basis because they don't care about, for example, borderlines who prob make up a good deal of cases like this.
A lot of videos about detransitioning have been banned. Which is super sad and dangerous.
Thanks for doing this.
Yeah, the FACISTS socialists in the Biden camp could take down all of this with an executive order. Best to download them permanently now comrades.
@@juliasturgman2351 Go away with your insanity.
@@kristagarrie9873 As a Jewish person I will never forget Krista KKK Garrie
Krista Goebels Garrie disagrees
We cisgen straight folk are really lucky. I can't imagine myself trapped with therapists and medics and jabs, then making irreversible body changes i can't trust
I feel like so many young people will hear about gender transition, and beleive that it’ll solve all of their problems, but then once they transition they realise that they aren’t any happier than they where before.
That's why people are supposed to have counseling/ therapy with qualified medical professionals before they begin physical/ hormonal transition. I'm actually not sure how she was able to get hormones without that because for every trans person who I've ever heard their story they all had to go through counseling/ therapy before they could go on hormone replacement therapy (hrt). I'm by no means a qualified medical professional, but from everything she was saying about her story, it iswas very obvious to me as a lay person that she was not a good candidate for hrt, so any legit medical practioner should have easily seen that too.
Also, there are many things in life which people (especially young people) might think will solve all of their problems. Alcohol and drugs come to mind as make-shift solutions that people often try out as a "quick fix".
There's gatekeeping for a good reason. I'm fully transitioned and never going back. I began my transition 17 years ago. I'd hate for someone to transition when it's inappropriate.
@@coralovesnature this is happening only in the US, where money is more important than health.
here in italy for example since we have universal health system(but Really high taxes),the whole transition including surgeries and plastic surgeries are for free, but the candidate are heavily scrutinized via counseling and therapy.
i heard here on youtube about a girl who received hormons after a phone call..
i cannot believe that the whole opioid epidemic which is totally fault of the doctors and the purdue has not teach any lessons to your health professionals.
those doctors are scum of the earth
@@ANT96-x8d i think so
@@ANT96-x8d absolutely wrong.
It takes real character to admit you were wrong, especially with something like this, so greatest respect for that!
It's fine till you cut off body parts....
I agree!
1000th like :) agreed
@@mauritahowell1415 she actually says she was wrong, though...
We all have things we have done in the past and been like, well that didn’t end up how I thought it would... some things more drastic than others. This is a drop in the bucket compared to... say, the girl that made herself blind with drain cleaner because she wanted to be blind since she was a child.
As a straight male, I stumbled across this video, and listened to the whole thing!
Kudos to you for sharing your situation and allowing us to delve into it.
Same here. Just thought oh what the hell and played it. Learnt something new today
@@jvennings5595 i thought detransition?! wow! most people make videos on transition
Same here! first the one with her singing a country song popped up in my recommendations randomly (also totally worth a watch) then i saw this one and watched the whole thing
you almost restored my faith in humanity
Yeah, I watched to see if uploader would give a message about being sure before transitioning in the first place.
I’m comfortable and never questioned myself personally, but was curious and I like to get into peoples psych to understand them and how it feels to be in their shoes, all sorts of experiences, male female, trans, gay, etc.
A lot of things are a bit difficult to wrap my head around and grasp, but I try not to be judgmental so I need to understand where they’re at and coming from to accomplish that.
"I was never uncomfortable with my gender"- that says it all! Groups on the internet (especially sites like Tumblr) have romanticised and (for want of a better word) appropriated what it is to be transgender and turned it into something that makes you special and unique; a catch-all for anyone who feels different and outcasted in society. When actual trans people speak out and say that no, gender dysphoria is an incredibly debilitating condition, it is not something to be idolised, and those who feel limited by the roles of their gender (but do not experience gender dysphoria) are not trans they're simply a tomboy or a feminine man and should work towards being confident expressing themselves as they are- they have been called truscum or told they have "internalised transphobia." The fact that random individuals on the internet who have made a mockery of what it is to be transgender then turn around and tell actual trans people they have internalised transphobia is just disgusting. And it's these individuals who sucker in people like yourself- people who are unsure of who they are- and they offer you a community and a label and a way to heal (transition) with this glitzy, glamorized ideal of what it is to be trans. And they tear down and shame anyone who says otherwise, making people feel they have to walk on eggshells whenever the topic is brought up (ironically actual trans people tend to be very open and accepting of people asking questions or making mistakes but their reputation is being tarnished by these hateful transtrenders).
Medical practitioners and genuine trans people have been saying for years that there are going to be MANY teenagers of this generation who will realise they have made a terrible mistake and will detransition. And we're starting to see it happen. It damages the lives of people like yourself who were led down the wrong path and now have to deal with the consequences of taking hormones and it damages the reputation of genuine trans people who have to deal with the haters who claim "look at all these people detransitioning- transition never works- trans isn't real." All because the internet decided tomboys can't exist anymore and instead any woman who has any traditionally male interests must be a trans man or any man who likes makeup must be a trans woman. The reality is they are not trans, they are simply an individual. With their own tastes and style, which may go against the typical gender norm. And that's ok. Let people be people. And let's go back to defining the boundaries of what it means to be transgender- GENDER DYSPHORIA- so that no one else is wrongfully labelled and given treatment they shouldn't be having, and transtrenders can stop clogging up the gender identity clinics with years long waiting lists that are preventing actual trans people from getting the vital treatment they need.
This also seems to be stemming from the treatment of transition itself. Denying reality and saying you are THE opposite isnt helpful. Presenting as whatever you want, engaging with whatever choices, or interests that you want, but understanding that male and female dont dictate preferences, should be treatment. Get surgery if that helps with dysphoria, but then again, anorexia patients arent given gastric bypass. Patients with body integrity disorder arent amputated on.
@@llIlIlllII I agree there needs to be stricter measures in place and transition should not be given to everyone who walks into a gender identity clinic. However for the majority of GENUINE trans people transition is incredibly helpful as it alleviates gender dysphoria. At present it is by far the best treatment available. With family support it creates happy, well adjusted individuals, able to finally live as they should. Look at NikkiTutorials, transition was clearly the ideal course of treatment for her. The same is true for many trans people. I'll also point out that being trans isn't about interests, choices or preferences- and that's the problem with the internets widening of the parameters to include those things- it has allowed transtrenders to flood in. Gender dysphoria cuts MUCH deeper than that. If someone is speaking only in terms of interests or preferences they're not a trans person. They simply have a divergent gender expression.
This. Yes. Thank you.
Perfectly put. I transitioned in 2006, and although in some ways there was a lot less support and very few trans role models, it meant that transition was generally an absolute last resort that you wouldn’t want to do unless you really had to, whereas now, it has become romanticised as you say
@@CharpyTheHedgehog There's no reason to think detransitioners are less genuine than anyone else. Trans is a thing you do, not a thing you are. We do not know what happens to the current group of transitioners after 10, 15, 20 years. Will they get tired of the effort of trying to look and behave like the opposite sex is expected to? If you're old and no longer hot, does transition have the same attraction? Time will tell, unfortunately.
It’s so interesting you mention that about the voice in your head still being a female voice. I’m a trans man and have been transitioned ~ 9 years. Still happily trans but I totally respect people in your position. I just wanted to mention I had the same thing happen the first few years of transition where I was thinking with a female voice even after mine dropped. The difference for me was that I was dysphoric about the voice in my own head 😭 eventually that changed but it took a long time. I don’t think the symptom you were having was abnormal, probably under-talked about for sure and it sucks you couldn’t find info online. But the fact that you still had a female voice in your head and DIDNT feel dysphoric about that may have been a sign. Thank you for sharing your story! And I’m glad you found what you needed within yourself 😊
Such a good comment.
Yea a lot of people who migrate when they’re a child think in one language which they never use in real life. It’s strange
the voice in your head has a gender??? o:
Hey there, I'm an FTM (transitioned 9 years ago, post surgery etc.) and I wanna say thank you for sharing your story. I've noticed in the trans community in the past few years a section of us are treating detransitioners like shit and blaming them for other issues we run into and often judge those in your position unfairly. This is a conversation that NEEDS to be had, the nuance that often gets missed when young people are still figuring out their identities. I wish you the very best and hope that other trans people will take a moment to appreciate that we only comprise about 0.3-0.6% of the population, and that not everyone with discomfort surrounding their gender is necessarily trans. I know some will point at your story and say that just convinces people we aren't real but I disagree, stories like yours should tell people this is a serious medical issue that needs the proper care and isn't to be taken lightly. Good luck friend PS. hope nothing came off as rude English isn't my best
honestly listening to her story just makes me more sure that I am trans and reassures me that I am making the right decision to transition and reassuring to me that I can do it.
my only problem with detransitioning is when transphobic people hold up detransitioned people and pretend that they represent all trans people as if transition without regrets is impossible.
Rachel as a parent of teens aged 19, 17 and 14 my concern is just that no medical transition should happen until adulthood. We don't let teens do anything permanent or take life changing decisions (you can't get married, you can't vote, you shouldn't get tattoos or join the army) until you have matured. Everyone has empathy for teen parents because we know that they are very young and probably will struggle to cope with the level of responsibility. We encourage people to wait until they are older because we know they still have a lot of growing to do. The brain is growing and developing until 25. It's the same with medical transition. Anyone can live as any gender they want but we cannot change our biological sex, so medical transition is a commitment to lifelong medical involvement.
@@viviennedunbar3374 I should have gone on hormone blockers at 14 and transitioned at 16 (had been diagnosed and already socially transitioned for 3 years prior) but parents decided to wait until I hit 18 and it was absolutely the wrong decision. If I had have been allowed to go ahead with it earlier I wouldn't have had to suffer through surgery & recovery to cut off the tits that grew when I should have been on hormone blockers.
Lets me be clear that transitioning as early as possible for us trans people is 100% the right thing to do, but the issue is that there are people who aren't trans getting wrongly put on this path because people are neglecting that this is a rare medical condition with permanent treatment and shouldn't be taken as lightly as it these past couple of years.
Other people needing a herd to validate their individuality is the primary reason for most of this stuff in the first place.
I just wish some detransitioners wouldn't use their experience as a weapon against trans people. elle palmer recently deleted her twitter because she started saying some horse shit about trans guys just not wanting to be girls because of oppression. a very small portion of people coming out of the trans community doesn't discredit transition.
this is why therapy should be PART of the transition process, most likely at the beginning
It is in most places though in the US it's state dependant, and even outside of state law, gender clinics internationally are heavily underfunded making waiting lists very long for 1 to 1 patient, doctor therapy. 1 clinic I was familiar with had a waiting list of up to 4 years for a single session. So it's sad that people do not have access to the means to talk their issues through with a professional (generally, therapy should be accessible to everybody), but it's also the reality for most youth who end up looking for alternative means instead which of course can be very dangerous and risky.
@@DrMattPhillips ...couldn't the waiting be part of the "therapy?" y'know take your time, think the transition through, do research, this is a permanent thing, taking time never hurts
@@DrMattPhillips I'm talking about before the INITIAL transition, not the reversal, they may not feel "comfortable" in there own body but at least the body is functional, no hormone replacement required, if you feel so out of place to need to transition THAT quickly, then you probably need therapy for other things not just gender disphoria
@@froboy56001 I'm also talking about before the initial transition. It's not a quick process at all when specifically working with professional gender clinics. If you talk to transgender people about their experiences getting treatment it'll convey that most don't get treatment for years due to waiting lists, where they both do not see a therapist nor do they see anybody. That's the issue I'm conveying that exists regionally in most areas and cases. There's a big difference between intentional delays within the process built in for validity checks whilst constantly touching base with a doctor on a regular basis for wellness checks. And being on a waiting list for 4 years, seeing no one and hearing nothing.
In the U.S. many are fighting to stop therapy prior to transitioning because some don't want to wait, but it totally bulldozes people like her.
I’m a straight middle aged mom. This randomly popped into my feed and is totally irrelevant to me. I saw how pretty and feminine you are and was curious which way the transitioning was. I had never heard of detransitioning so I was interested in your story. I really enjoyed your video. I respect your candor. You are a brave and beautiful person, and I know your video will help others who are struggling with finding their place in the world. 💜❤️🧡💛💚💙
@Brett Wagland and people who leave the homosexual lifestyle are also demonized especially when they if they become a Christian
Same, I’ve heard of de transitioning but this popped up randomly.
Same. This just popped into my feed. I watched it. It was interesting.
I think many people need to realize nobody just fits in...we are all totally unique and just need to accept and love whomever we are. Parents need to love and accept their kids no matter what! And your life can be limitless! If you stop worrying about what others think! It only matters how you feel about yourself. If you only have one friend, you are blessed! Don't try changing yourself to fit in anywhere. Just be brave enough to be yourself, and people will accept you. If they don't, who cares...be happy!
You seem lovely.
As a 16yo who’s aromantic and struggling with their gender this was super good to watch because I definitely have issues that I need to sort out before I even start thinking to transition. This was informative and definitely let me know I should be very careful when it comes to my gender
People have screwed with your mind, and now they have made you believe, that it's an identity issue on your part... don't let a criminal doctor mutilate and sterilize you.
Yes agreed. I was different in the sense I've always known I'm trapped in the wrong gender. I've got the right body, heck I'm practically intersex, I've got functioning bits a penis is not supposed to have or even function as lol. So if I could maybe help you, I knew since 5. I literally blacked out because I realised I was not the correct gender and that stress and feeling of fear has remained ever since until this year that I've finally begun to look like myself now. So, please consider that what ever you are going thru, it's likely not your gender. Gender dysphoria is extremely rare. The left media has hijacked this to cause deliberate trouble amongst youth in my opinion because I can tell there is no structure. It's all feeling and let me tell you, it's not about feeling at all. It's about knowing and if you can't know then don't even try. Cos transitioning isn't what you think it is. It isn't going to fix anything, that's the lie. It only changes what was. Think about that
Ps you're only 16, I waited until I was 23 to come out because I knew, it's healthier to begin with and the body needs to develop as well as you do. Again think about that, what you're feeling now can still change. I only began transition 10 years after coming out. Think carefully
Good luck with everything! And also social transitioning where you ask people to call you by a different name and pronouns has no permanent negative effects. It's fine to change your mind later, especially when you're young, and you might find that a lot of your mental struggles may improve.
I know that personally I was suicidal starting around puberty and stayed that way until I came out at 20 and started being treated as who I truly am. I was so surprised when I realized a few months into people using a new name and pronouns for me, and having friends who truly supported me, that for the first time in over a decade I didn't want to die. My anxiety and depression improved a lot, though it definitely hurt when people intentionally misgendered me.
So yeah, dysphoria can definitely be a huge source of mental distress and mental illness, and sometimes transitioning can make it a lot better. But also, you don't need to jump into physically transitioning because social transition is always an option.
At 16 there is also the option to take puberty blockers for a while until you're certain one way or another to prevent permanent changes from continuing to develop while you figure things out.
Legends Silver, adolescence is a very confusing and awkward phase of life for everyone. It’s a natural to question identity because you are in a developmental phase transitioning to adulthood. It’s that in between period where you’re neither a child or an adult and yet a little bit of both at the same time. It’s normal and healthy to experiment with hair, clothes, make up etc. But just give yourself time to be you at every phase and don’t put any pressure on yourself to be something permanent like transitioning. I encourage you to wait it out until you’re an adult to make a decision. I mean, the brain doesn’t even finish developing until around age 24! So any major decision made before that id say is rushing into it. Anyway let us know what you decided and give us an update.
When my sister was around 9 she dressed like a boy and called herself Zach. She’s now in her mid twenty’s, happily married to a man, and just had a wee baby. She once told me that she’s so thankful she didn’t grow up in these current times, because someone might have insisted that my parents transition her. She’s now a happy, straight female.
Kids are all over the place, they experiment, and they have absolutely zero forward-thinking skills. They should never be allowed to make such drastic decisions at such an early age. I started using drugs really young, and had no idea that I would struggle physically and mentally for so long after being clean. I had no ability to think that far ahead. I’m 2+ years clean and still dealing with the medical and mental repercussions of my actions. Again, kids should not be making such huge decisions at such an early age.
My sister was Lil Fred 😆 Now she's married with like a dozen children.
I think It does depend on place. But where I live you can't get hormones below 16. (surgery below 18), Thats what puberty blockers are for.
So that a person who is confused, has extra time given to figure out who they are, without going through trauma of developing of sex characteristics that they don't identify with, puberty is hard enough for cishet people.
they figure out they feel comfortable with their sex assigned at birth, they leave puberty blockers and start their puberty later.
They figure out they feel more comfortable with different gender, they can pursue that. And it is much easier they don't end up with low masculine voice, and masculine features, when they will go on to live as women.
But obviously you are not going to give puberty blockers to 7 year old, because at that age its only clothes and hair that really differs between boys and girls.
Many children and youth are not given opportunity to explore themselves. wearing a skirt or cutting your hair short will not traumatise them.
Forcing a person in any direction is wrong.
There should be much more mental health support and education for everyone, not only those struggling.
What if it's memories of past lives?
Thanks for sharing your story Debbie about your sister! And Congratulations 🎉 as well for 2+ years clean! Way to go!! God Bless You! 🙏🎉🌸
Debbie my daughter was the same way. Very tomboyish. She hated her breast and everything. Now at 18 shes a very confident young lady and girlie.
So, i am an older transwoman, and totally happy in my transition. I am worried, however, because so many young people are transitioning and we are starting to see a spike in detransition. I think your voice is an important one. I went to a gender therapist, and they are basically trained to encourage you to transition and don't pose tough questions to you. I totally had to do that myself, and i spent months reading, studying, looking at people's stories and detransition stories, and everything i could get my hands on. I was alarmed that no one challenged my choices in a constructive way. Someone like you can help young people ask themselves the tough questions the system isn't. I am super concerned with young girls who are transitioning to male, because T works so quickly, while estrogen takes months and months to make permanent changes. I am super glad you made this video. Keep making videos talking about it (maybe a little shorter). I totally don't want to completely discourage anyone from transitioning. I just think people should totally think it through before they do it.
I have the same concern.
I spent so many years trying to cover all my bases for options in the future before starting HRT. Not everything panned out and my bloodline will completely end with me (something I'm still mourning) but I spent a lot of that time figuring out if that's really the right option. It definitely was.
The humor is though that if I didn't start taking estradiol, I would have had to start taking testosterone due to my hormone levels prior to transition.
Michelle,
First off thank you for speaking out. As someone who is cis male I've never had the trauma of gender dysphoria, but I can only imagine what it feels like. It is so important to hear all voices in the trans community, both to support those who are coming up as well as to warn them, as transitioning is such a momentous step. I hope with all our participation in the conversation we can really make the lives of trans people better.
If you don't mind answering, what tough questions should someone who wants to transition ask themselves?
@@cantbejawsome
I would suggest finding a safe place you can experiment with living as the opposite gender. Find what looks good on you and makes you feel right.
You'd wanna ask yourself what kind of enrichment this brings to your life. Is this the life you'd like to live full-time? Would you be happier living your life as the opposite gender?
If it's chemically transitioning, I'd first ask someone to consider the long term effects that are permanent, then consider the route it takes to get there.
Puberty wasn't fun the first time, so putting yourself through it again is very much a concern.
I'm saddened an worried that this young generation feel so desperate to put a label on themselves and others.
20 years ago we were lucky just knowing that being young is a time of confusion and that you don't have to live up to the traditional gender roles. And we could slowly experiment and try different things out, until we figured out who we were.
Now they think they must declare their whole identity to the world at the age of 15 - and change their body accordingly.
I'm not saying that true trans people shouldn't get their treatment. - But as this video proffs, there are just too many people who has has other problems getting caught up in this unhealthy focus on gender these days. - After all, a person is much more than their gender or sexuality.
You can still train your voice back to a girl voice, there are videos on RUclips. I had a boy voice and now it's super girl again. :) Best of luck!!!
Thank you! And I am working on the voice training, but its kind of slow going for me lol
Uncle Lucifer Zed I’m mtf with a regrettably deep voice, and am likely going the surgery route. The results can be amazing.
I have. Unfortunately I have the voice of Ben Stein and trying to hold my voice at that pitch just goes to seem to work for me without my voice cracking.
@@imkshipa Ya, it's a bit of work.. I literally grindded-out Harvard sentences. Pick like 2-4 and just have them to recite over-and-over when you are fee (shower, driving...etc), and then do recording/ workshop sessions. :)
Kate Wolf I have
What an incredible realization. When you say that the voice in your head didnt change and that you still dreamt as a woman. Thats pretty eye-opening
It's reasonable that you would worry about how you would look being "back" as a woman, but I assure you, you are beautiful.
Yes! You’re absolutely beautiful!
I agree! And I typically have high standards in physical beauty. Which might not be a nice/good thing 🤷🏼♀️😂 but just saying-she is like model pretty.
And smart and feminine.
@@philharvey5519 Because she was a trans man, genious
Low voice though
It’s interesting how you talk about your “inner voice” & your subconscious self remaining female. Not many trans people discuss this topic.
Right? It's something lots of trans people experience, and in her case for destransitioning, as the reason for why they transition. For the longest time I wasn't even aware my "inner voice" and the way i internally felt and saw myself sounded masculine until i transitioned and noticed the voice didn't sound so different from everything else anymore. It's pretty interesting and I think it could be discussed more.
ღ YV ღ thank you for sharing your experience💚 Our subconscious is truly a powerful thing & I believe it’s not something that can be ignored.
@@almostfiction yeah, I'm the same too, I'm pre hormones, just starting, but I've lived for 10 years as a man, I don't always pass, but that's not such a big deal at 30. Everybody is accepting and I explain if need arises, and most of the people understand, and are respectful, and I live in a really backwards country regarding this topic. What I wanted to say is, my inner voice is completely male, and I feel my body, although pre-t, as male but with some minor differences. For example I feel like I have gynecomastia, not a huge deal, and will deal with it surgically.
Inner voices are genderless. There's such thing as a male or female inner voice. I don't understand the concept at all.
@@cyanofelis yes they're genderless but it can still feel masculine or feminine. If your inner doesn't match then it's noticeable. If your inner voice does match then yeah you won't notice. Tbh I think that's a good thing you don't experience it.
We can become caught up trying to "fix" ourselves, when, personally, I think what we really need to do is accept ourselves.
YES!!
Absolutely!
Self•Love
And you know, it is ok to be yourself in some ways as it's ok to want to fix yourself. If you procrastinate, you can work on that! If you're confused about what you want, you should find some close friends and start asking questions. A lot of times, people want something new because we've been trained that new is better, and different has to be better because at least it's not the same. This is how marketing works to sell you a new phone, even if in the grand scheme of things, your old phone worked perfectly fine.
It took me 10 years to accept the fact that it is ok to like women and men. I hated myself for 10 years and I am so glad I am learning to accept myself.
Idk if this was the point, but this video made me realize even moreso that i actually made the *right* choice to start transitioning. I always sort of felt like "am i trans enough", but you mentioned yourself not feeling dysphoria or anything negative towards your body, not wanting to be the other gender- and something really sort of hit me that, i DID think these things. It sort of engrained it into my brain that i made the right choice
If your friend said I don't like my legs I want to chop them off, what would you say to them?
I think a big thing people miss out on recently is that gender nonconformity isn't gender dysmorphia. Gender nonconformity isn't being trans either. And I feel like a lot of people are now confusing these.
Yep..
A lot of people are confused , because chidlren have been sexualized by adults trying to talk them into their sexual preference. This is very evil!
)
@@amartin9293 idk about talking them into their sexual preference but there was a LOT of sexuality in media when I was a kid and it seems to have even gotten worse recent years. Just making sex exposed to kids so early isn't right. And then no education on biology enough to often. And then people wonder why so many kids getting pregnant at a young age or confused overall.
The big thing that concerns me. I grew up with the very strict social norms of: 'boys do science and adventure; girls do dolls and dresses'. Which the latter is absolutely not in my wheelhouse. Dad let me be me which made me feel completely incompatible with everyone else growing up who seemed to handle those norms better than I. Now that Transgender transitions are so common place and so haphazard, I can't help but wonder how many people actually feel like their in the wrong gender vs, just stuck in social norm boxes.
@@Ouchimoo I've actually seen quite a few people comment they know or they were thinking they were trans but later realized it was about this and thinking because they didn't fix that one predetermined definition they assumed they were the other. I mean there's not actual harm I guess for many people who realize it later, it's just a journey. BUT if they had decided to do surgery it might have had some big impact on them and their lives.
I'm a transguy, who transitioned 10 years ago. Even tho the waitinglist for therapy in the Netherlands is crazy long now (almost 2 years), hearing a story like this makes me glad that you need at least 6 months of therapy before starting hormones here.
Best wishes for your future!
6 months of therapy is a sad pathetic joke. It takes years and years to see and accept, let alone solve your deepest issues.
You wouldn't even go to the gym for 6 months to get into shape
@@arip172 going to the gym is very different. You won’t resolve deep trauma in six months but you’ll be able to work on gender dysphoria and figuring out your identity. I assume the focus would be on the potential transition.
@@arip172 but six months is often enough time to work out what the problem is, if not how to treat it.
That's such a long waitlist, I dearly hope that the time can be shortened in the future.
@@mr.mayonnaise5488 Often the desire to transition is linked to past trauma. There are so many detrains videos and books about this, like Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier. They're completely intertwined most of the time. Very few people are actually trans.
I am starting to believe that the younger generation is suffering from a need to label things and fit a square into a circle. My sons are similar. They want to have a label for their personality quirks. One son for example will constantly come up with obscure psychological diagnosis's for himself. Sometimes it's just what makes you, you. We are not all the same. We are all beautiful in our own way and being an individual, and different than other people is a good thing.
I agree that so many people seem obsessed with labels. I hate labels and only have a few that I subscribe to seriously, otherwise that’s that. But it’s not limited to people labeling themselves, but labeling everyone, every action or lack of action, labeling everything!
@D. N. I see your point. Your generation only needs to stick it out a few more years, cause while I did struggle a lot as a kid, my biggest growing pains were when I was in my 20’s. Especially once the generation after you gets to the point yours is at now. I felt misunderstood by my peers and the Zoomers, so you feel isolated, even if you aren’t. But the Millennials now know and will be here for ya.
@@sarahi1149 I know it's hard in these difficult times, but please take this advice to heart, there are these things called bookshops. They sell tablets made out of paper. Go ask the clerk about some history, doesn't matter which time or which country, just start somewhere. Then come back to me and tell me how bad rape cultrure, racism and economy is doing.
Turn back the clock a 100 years and put them in a 2020 situation, the amount of rape comitted in a year would be happening on a daily basis, we would find whatever group that we could easiest blame and either burn, hang or chop their heads of. And even a king or queen would live by laughably low standards compared to a struggling family right now.
I'm not saying we should just look at how bad they did things before so we should be grateful for the bad things now. But you need some perspective and you need it fast, I know you think I'm either messing with you or are in some way trying to make you look bad. I'm not I'm trying to get you to stop wasting 10 years of your life, find what you are good at and what you want to do and do it. If that means a full on career in whatever profession of your choice do that, if it means a family with the possibility of leaving the work force until they start school then you are free to make that choices to. And no kids are also allowed and acceptable.
@@sarahi1149 Those are very serious issues that should always be addressed. However, I think a lot of these things are not always effecting people personally. I am Latina, but rarely experience direct racism, but do experience racism in the form of it existing in my community/society. I suppport these causes despite not being directly affected. I believe this may be what was meant by that comment. Although you are %100 about our economy, but the economy goes into recession every 10-12 years, and every economy no matter how booming experiences recession and failure. Recessions are catastrophic in many ways, however, it leads to our economy resetting; what goes up must come down. (Sorry for any typos).
@@amandatorres3833 100% correct, there are always a lot of things that we will look back on in 10-20 years and think "damn we were kind of savagages back then weren't we". The point is we seem to be aiming forward, for every bad step back we take, we end up making progress in ways we never thought possible before.
Would I like every other normal thinking person on the planet want to remove those spesific problems with a magic wand and so instead people's only struggle in life would be finding out who they want to be? Of course but I've lived long enough to understand it's not how the world works while also not being so beaten down that I don't think it will never change. Because I do think it's coming, just sadly not within the years I got left.
So frustrating when detransition vids remove comments. Love that the comments are turned on. Your voice matters. Everyone’s voice matters even the haters, it shows the full picture
I was a tomboy growing up, and until a couple of years ago felt most comfortable dressing fairly androgynously. I think it stemmed partly from the fact that I was teased for being tall, and I felt like I didn't fit in with the other girls at my school, who happened to be petite/short, and very "girly".
Now in my mid-20's I'm both more feminine on the outside, and I feel much more comfortable with being a woman on the inside too, if that makes sense.
Being transgender is 100% a thing, but I hope people don't confuse being unhappy with themselves or their bodies with gender dysphoria.
I'm concerned that far too often this seems to be the case! True gender dysphoria (as in, the brain is sexed differently than the body in utero) is incredibly rare.
I think that some people not realising that during adolescents through your 20s that most people are still unsure of who they are and that feeling that way is a universal human experience.
In biosciences, we view this different than the humanities. In the humanities, they claim every trait is a new box/category, and therefore a gender variation. In bioscience, gender is not separate from sex. They're the same thing, So we view it as all of those boxes/categories existing within two main categories. E.g. an "M" box can have g@y, straight, bi, cries, lifts weights, low-T, high-T, etc, etc. Humanities claim that "gender" is just societal expectations, therefore each one of those things is a new gender. In bioscience, we think this is harmful and regressive and is affecting people's lives negatively, not positively, making them feel different and apart and worsening any negative feelings they may already have about themselves, as despite how hard they try to "fit in," they're only fitting into fake categories created by the very people who call the categories fake.
We're called bigots for this and aren't allowed to speak.
@@patrickriarchy6054 It does seem to be something that stems a bit from vanity. "Oh, nobody else could possibly understand, but I'm so different and special," when everyone is feeling different, looking for their own identity. Unfortunately, some people look to their bodies for that identity instead of to other qualities they possess.
i am 30 and strange thing i noticed was that all the tom boys i knew when i was a kid or during my teenage yrs all ended up becoming super feminine after the age of 25. it's as if they were just late bloomers. like everyone went through the girly phase at 15 and they ended up going through that phase at 25. one girl specifically that i know who is 30 now wears makeup and gets her hair done and wears dresses and i am 30 and i did all that when i was 15 but now at 30. i can't be bothered wearing makeup. lol
I love how this video doesn’t villainize trans people at any point
and so it shouldn't.. that's not to say some of them aren't fucking crazy and spreading toxic ideology
@@clipsedrag13 yeah, that applies to all groups of people, shitty human beings exist everywhere
@@clipsedrag13 I mean , I meet crazies everywhere LUL
Unlike the impression the reaction of lgbtq communities give, detransitioning is not against lgbtq but against too early and not carefully accompanied transitions of children and teens.
I once wanted to be a boy, for about 10 years, and then realized it was bc of childhood abuse.
My friend had the same, she is lesbian, wanted to be a boy and then realised she thought she'll be accepted better as a trans with a girl than as a girl with a girl. Which, funnily, is kind of homophobic albeit coming from a lesbian...
LaLa Luna yeah I know but some detransitioners become transphobic
Another important thing I'm not seeing anyone talking about: You can be male and wear make up or colorful hair! Your gender doesn't matter, You can look however You want. You're valid.
You're absolutely right being a clown it's absolutely okay:)
Yeahhhh I’ve never understood the whole trans gender argument because personally I just don’t see why it matters. If you want to cross dress then wear what you want express yourself how you want, but expecting random people to know your proper pronoun is just crazy to me. Just be yourself
@@Monahandsom3 well how it was explained to me and what makes sense to me is that sex, gender identity, and gender expression are all different and exist on a spectrum. For example, somebody can be born with male sex chromosomes but still be a woman. They can also still wear makeup and express themselves more feminine. There is actually a lot of research done on transness and the scientific basis of it if you want to learn more. (:
RNGesusRaids some people don’t just want to cross dress. This person has admitted to making a mistake. But there are other trans people who actively feel like the gender they were born IS NOT the gender they are. So just dressing up isn’t going to fix anything. That’s why there can be men who wear makeup, women who don a more masculine look, and there can also be people who are transgender who actually need to alter their gender however they see fit. If you aren’t transgender you don’t have to fully understand what makes someone transgender, you just have to be able to respect other people for they are.
necROMANCEr yeah that’s all the way too overly confusing to everybody else.
There are people who de transition not because of repression, but a Psychiatrist helped them to feel comfortable with themselves. I applaud you for reaching out and talking about your difficult journey.
I’m a straight male. I’m a therapist who was once asked what my experience is with counseling people in transition, in regards to sex and gender, and I have none. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s super important. Much appreciated.
I’m my therapist first trans women and it’s been great and I picked a cis gender man to get out of my comfort zone....he’s actually writing a book about my transition I started back in 93 it was different so serious and dangerous even back then this generation has no clue they talk about it like it’s a walk in the park....it makes me so angry 😡 they have no idea how many have died just for trying to be there true selves
@@jamis2031 It would be so valuable if you would speak about your experience and warn young people that they need to go through a long process before they decide 100% that they must transition.
@Common Sense Isn't Common thanks for sharing. Yes, finding a good therapist is rare. There’s also interesting research on how talk therapy is not effective (unless the therapist themself has a solid mindfulness practice) anyhow thanks for sharing
@Tewdy Quew Transmen have a little bit less stigma, but transwomen have a lot of stigma and wind up being murdered at a higher rate. There have been almost 200 transmen killed since 2013 in this country. The suicide rates are also higher in this demographic.
@Tewdy Quew I’m not sure cowboy I don’t keep track what’s up! Why you interested? Are you trans
As a straight woman I don't even know how your video came on my feed, but you are a precious gift. What you have shared is brilliant, no matter what issues we may go through, whether we're trans, bi, straight or whatever. Thank you for speaking your truth.
Have you looked into any other detransitioning videos? I know I have before.
I second your thought though, she is a precious gift and am grateful for her speaking out. I have never thought about transitioning, but what she was talking about is very helpful. I am a natural worry wart lol.. I worry and stress about everything. Her advice goes a long way and helps more people than just those who are detransitioning or are thinking about transitioning
"If I detransitioned now, I'd basically have to go through what every trans woman has to go through." Thank you for saying this! People really don't get it. I'm sorry this happened to you, and for those of us who actually are trans, puberty felt just like you're describing.
I thought that this would make me insecure about my identity as a trans man but it actually affirmed me because i don’t relate to your experience at all. Also i’m appalled at how easy it was for you to get on hormones, i’ve been trying to get on them for months and i still have to much waiting and hoops to jump through.
Same ! Hormones , legal change and everything has been pretty hard
Same here. I've hidden my identity issues for 16 years. Hated myself until i finaly had to come out because i was having severe neurological symptoms due to the trauma i was causing myself. I've had to go to a neurological Psychologist as well as a mental health clinic. Should be getting my letter for t next month. It always blows my mind when people say they got hrt so easily.
You guys should start poking around a bodybuilding forums because you'll find that everything you need is widely available sent to your door without a doctor
@@Meilk27 dude no
@@Meilk27 Self medicating is very dangerous. I think I'll listen to my doctors. thanks anyway.
I'm ftm but I've always looked at detransition content even from before I started transition, and still do. I want to understand people who detransition, in large part to recognize any similar feelings I could have in the future.
Like you say, detransitioners could really use more resources, and understanding, both from trans people and people who criticize trans people and seem to use detransitioners' stories to bash them. Thank you for putting this out there. Your makeup looks amazing btw
setniessesed same, I'm ftm and I'm so scared to figure out in a couple of years that this was a mistake. And that's what stops me from transitioning, which also kinda sucks
@@ynnckx5508 I know of someone who got top surgery, but said they might never get bottom surgery. To them, their body dysmorphia centered around their breasts. If you decide to move forward with your transition, what is the most important transition for you? What changes do you feel you need to make? Maybe you could map out all of your options and see what would be important for you and what would be less so.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find happiness.
I totally understand the fear in making life changing decisions! I'm ftm & I luv the changes I see in my body & how I feel now but there's always a fear that u might feel dif the longer u live. But we are humans jus doin the best we can wit our lives I've only been on HRT for 2yrs & I'm planning my top surgery now & I had a hyst but that wasnt really jus for transitioning tho. Plus I'm older & I've been thinkin about this for a long time & finally grew enough balls 2 actually do it. But take ya time tho & research everything
same here. transition isn't something you want to get stuck in if it's not right for you. it's a decision to be made after careful consideration, and monitoring the way it makes you feel is important. you wouldn't want to realize it's not for you later than you have to.
I also feel like noting the differences between my experience of transition and those of de-transitioners helps me trust myself that i've made the right choice!
We use detransitioners to bash people who support horomone blockers on children
I'm only about halfway through the video, but I wanted to comment on something. A lot of what is being referenced about transition to leave behind issues is exactly the wrong reason to transition under any circumstance. I'm kind of one of those textbook "been like this every since I was young, hated dresses growing up, rejected femininity and naturally grew up identifying in no female sense" trans cases, and even with such an extensive track record of behavior like mine, my therapist made sure I understood first and foremost: Transitioning will not cure your depression. It will not cure your anxiety, or fix your internal problems. Transitioning in and of itself is not a cure for gender dysphoria, and is only one of various answers.
Approaching transition like a catch all for fixing personal problems is setting yourself up to deny the existence and the tangibility of those problems in the first place. While life has been easier when I transitioned because I no longer live in fear of the misgendering and the social dysphoria, the depression is still there. The anxiety is still there. The problem is still there, and it will not go away. It will only ease with accepting and learning to cope with it.
Perfect comment.
I would also add that some of this is very confusing and overlaps in certain areas with other mental issues as a lot of things in humans do. Therapy is honestly the most helpful thing and asking critical questions of ourselves.
Thankyou for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this. It’s like most issues or problems we are faced with, the solution usually isn’t easy and doesn’t usually fix everything.
If no one has ever told you, Jesus loves you and you can cast all your cares and anxieties on Him. He is the lifter of our heads, and the lover of our souls. Ask Him for help, He says, "come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest". God bless you very very much.
this video helped me so much, im 14 and have been on t for about a year now. i finally got the balls to tell my mom i wanted to stop t. luckily my voice didnt completely drop before detransitioning. im still kind of in the process of figuring out what im gonna do, because i feel like im gonna let my parents down agAin. today i put makeup on for the first time and was super happy, even though i still had short hair. so ty, ig this video made me feel less alone lolol.
Very impressed! Stay strong!
You're 14? So young. Why not wait until you're older? I know it's such "Mom' type advice but coming from a 44 yr old Mom just feel like giving it time would help. Don't feel rushed or pressured. Best of luck!
@@brendageegarcia4138 If she's too young to detransition, then she was too young to transition in the first place. Understand?
@@dherman0001 Sometimes it takes time. All I'm saying. It's not hard to understand what I wrote.
@@brendageegarcia4138 Nor what I wrote. Children should never be transitioning.
You never had physical disphoria and never felt like you wished you were a male/boy, yet still you came to the conclusion that you were trans? I'm surprised that no professionals picked up on this.
They want you to transition cause $$$ they don’t care
That’s the thing about informed consent you just sign off that you’re taking responsibility if you make a mistake, they don’t care. Trans activists also say now that you don’t need dysphoria to be transgender, which I think is extremely confusing and damaging to young people who are figuring out who they are. This is coming from a trans guy who came out 10 years ago.
How can they? They have to affirm whatever the person says to them.
@@johnb9573 i think there is a difference between needing dysphoria to be trans and needing dysphoria to transition. I think you can be trans without having dysphoria, (euphoria instead) but I honestly think you should be very cautious or not transition medically if you don’t have dysphoria. obviously adults can do whatever they want with their bodies but if you don’t have dysphoria I don’t really see a reason for you to medically transition. - a young trans guy with very bad dysphoria lasting years that is trying to medically transition right now
@@lavenderbones2628 I still don’t think your actually trans if you are fine with your body because that means you are fine with your birth sex. Anything other than that is just not feeling like a conventional man or woman. But I definitely agree that even if someone really believes they’re trans without dysphoria they shouldn’t transition. You shouldn’t change your body if you’re comfortable in it. I think some people are doing it because they want to be seen by other people a certain way but you shouldn’t modify your body for anyone else but yourself.
regarding the voice in your head/misgendering yourself... basically you induced gender dysphoria on yourself when you transitioned into a guy
Huh. Sounds funny, but it is pretty accurate XD
@putnam 1953 well, clearly because they are in emotional pain. If this video shows ANYTHING it is that transitioning is not an easy decision and it comes from a place of hurt and the hurt is very real.
oh wow that makes a lot of sense
@@Iisho first of all, being 18 does not mean you're an adult. I'm 36 and still feel like a kid, but me 18 years old, deciding about my future was a joke.
Secondly, everyone is in pain one way or the other. It is our duty to face our problems and learn to accept ourselves. There is no transformation that will suddenly make you happy.
Now, I'm not an expert in this subject and I really believe everyone should be allowed to do with their own bodies what they want. I know for a fact though, that it is very easy to corner yourself internally into thinking that there is only one solution. We are the prisoners of our own minds and it's always a good idea to listen to others, especially the experts. That is the only chance to see the reality from a different perspective which can save us a lot of self inflicted pain.
All the best 👋
@@Iisho Just because someone turns 18, yes you are technically viewed as an adult by the law, but mentally, the brain is still a teenager and the brain is not fully develop and 18 y/o can still make irrational decisions or they make their decisions based off of their emotions. Our brain isn't fully developed until 25.
this person is really sitting on the floor in the middle of their appartment spilling their heart to us!!! *hugs* i'm not trans or anything but i support whatever decisions make you happy even though you may not know what that is right now take all the time you need we love you
Same! Just discovered this video and I’m so impressed. So pure and honest and so so so strong! Keep going and be happy ♥️
In iceland we have 6 months minimum of therapy before hormones and I’m very thankful for that because I made sure it wasn’t something else
Im faroese! And we dont have any trans care here, so im going through the danish system. Theres a minimum of 6 appointments, about 1 or 2 months apart, and then they evaluate your case. Ive been going through it for the past year, and ive noticed there are many failsafes. There's many points where they try to evaluate other issues, your history, etc. Its a bit exhausting, since ive been through most of that in normal therapy back home, but i see how it's very necessary for some people for whom that is their first step.
huh, that actually seems like a pretty short time but it's good to see that you all have a standardized system.
that's good, I don't know much about gender dysmorphia or things alike or how one feels or goes through to want to transition. However, I believe that they should be doing this with therapy before you start, it makes sense. Before giving suboxone or methadone to addicts, they couple it with therapy and such too, calling it medication assisted therapy (MAT). There's many doctors or surgeons out there who will capitalize on the opportunity simply because you have good insurance/money that will cash them out. I had this problem with surgeons wanting to operate on me when I dealt with back issues that went on for several years. Having surgery would've been the worst choice for me too btw. Glad you had that opportunity though.
In Spain we have a law that has been aproved recently which eliminates the proceed of therapy so the moment someone proclaims themself as trans they get access to hormones and full transition without psychological review because it is considered pathologizing
@@alisalt1402 I work as a clinician at the #1 psych research hospital in the US and that REALLY troubles me to hear that
i am ftm pre-t and ofc im desperate for it but im taking my time and being responsible (i understand you were struggling and impulsive)
so i like to get information from all different sides
thanks for being so honest cuz it sucks when detransitioners become extremely transphobic
Yeah I just watched a video of another detransitioner who was super transphobic because of their own trauma and distress that made them think that it was the wrong decision for everyone
Hence it's so important to emphasize responsibility in making this choice, you really need to think a lot about it and if you know already (as some do) then it's literally a matter of be patient and see for yourself what needs to get done. I dunno why it's so easy for some to get hormones etc but I notice a pattern, those who take time to get what they need are the least likely to change their mind to begin with
They don't become transphobic, they became gender critical/don't support gender ideology. That's a big difference.
@@4651adri I think you're assuming far too much or reading too much into it. I don't believe there is a gender ideology, how stupid.
Gender isn't fluid and shouldn't be treated as a sexuality
@@Arikuit I'm sure you are a very smart person. I recommend you look into it. Gender ideology is a thing and it's already been investigated and written about numerous times. It's actually pretty harmful for actual trans people.
I guess there's an ocean of difference between gender and sexuality.
@Miss Yancey As a trans girl, I believe thats a very trasphobic belief. If I pass as a woman, and a guy or a girl likes me because I look like a woman, than they're attracted to me. A strait guy would never be with a trans guy lol.
@Miss Yancey So if there was a trans guy, he has a pe**s, he has a deep voice, he looks exactly like a cis guy, and you think he's hot and you like his personality, would you date him?
@Devin Kind Actually, yeah you're right. Thanks.
@Devin Kind This is the point I was trying to make, but failed to do so.
Gah!!! Lynn, That Hurtz! Are you intentionally trying to get my Brain to Explode?!? 💥🧠 💥
i was very masculine when i was a kid, i thought that i was trans when i was 12-13. as i have grown older i have began to express my femininity. i’m not trans, i just wasn’t a feminine girl.
(sorry if my english is bad, it isn’t my first language and i don’t comment much)
The way you write is perfectly fine. Capitalize "i" and you're actually at a level above the norm for native speakers lol.
Your English is fine. :) I wasn’t a very feminine girl either (tomboy all the way). I can turn on the girly, but I’m honestly happier in a pony tail, no makeup, and comfy clothes. There’s nothing wrong with not being in full makeup, hair, and heels. My hubby puts it best, I’m sexy in my own unique way.
that doesn't mean your transgender lol
Please have more confidence in your English writing. It's great. Your last line only shows the insecurity YOU have in your English, which is unfair to youself. You're way better than you think. No need to apologize to us or anyone else for it.
I was the same way as you. I was very tomboyish as a teenager and early adulthood. Later in life I just became more comfortable expressing myself as a girl that isn't that super girlish as society wants you to be and that's fine. It's just me.
Comfort over style but still a girl :)
I am a 70 year old woman. I've been watching slot of transition stuff on youtube and I'm gonna be honest I don't understand it all. But I do know there are kids who at two years old want to be opposite sex. Alot for me to learn about. You are so honest I appreciate that. But I must tell you, you are a beautiful woman, but I believe you know this, and you are free to be you, whomever you may perceive yourself to be. Thanks for being so honest.
You're really nice nancy :)
Sorry but 2 yrs old dont know what they want, they " discovering life " everything is attractive, but they do not know anything is nor been told.
It's the parents choice ( which is sick and child abuse ) its allot adults that still dont know what they want, less alone a child. Commonsense is need, at 70 you should know better. Children are easy to manipulate.
@@Enigmaticaluna13 ikr
@@Enigmaticaluna13 It honestly sounds like a kid pretending to comment as a 70 year old. If you are not demented at that age and think letting 2 YEAR OLDS become the opposite sex, you are a real piece of work, or never had children.
Also notice how she wrote "opposite sex" and not gender, not suspicious at all that the trans lobby always conflate those two while they in their ideology are adamant that it is only about gender.
this is why it is important to worry about of mental health, going to therapy and knowing how to read yourself. Thanks for sharing your journey i hope a lot of people who arent really trans think about the things you said very carefully before make a wrong move. Im a trans man. I’ve been on testosterone for a long time. I struggle with disphoria since have memory, my thoughs always were on a life were i can be the man i was in my head, the disconfort with my body and everything u said you havent i think is importan to realize if ur trans or not. If i am a happy man is because the transition cured that aspect of my life that was wrong. but If your struggling with depression, with your sexual orientantion or anything that doesn’t have to do with gender, the transition isn’t going to solve that. I send you a lot of love I think you are a beautiful girl and a very brave one to share your history. Hugs!!
I remember thinking, "I wanna be a boy," when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I was such a tomboy, but I'm a cis female. Childhood is weird! Lol. Also, I think you're super pretty!
Do you mean cis female?
@@belphiespillow2268 Yes, I'm sorry if I didn't say that properly. I promise I'm trying, lol.
It's just so weird and ironic that the people who are so against gender roles think tomboys are better off living as boys.
@@betteringbrooke8569 aw its ok!
That's just called penis envy. xD
I'm trans and even though I'm 99% certain in my identity, I intend to do AT THE VERY LEAST 6 months of gender-specific therapy before I start T. Probably more.
your name is tobias eliot youre goooood buddy
this is a joke tobias and elliot are just common trans boy names, theyre good ones very elegant
@@AnaLoo86 No offense, but Blaine white is not a good representation of the trans community. She recently lost a lot of subscribers because she just kept lying about trans people who she doesn't like. It looks like she just lies to make clickbaits and get $$
I like Contrapoints better as trans representation on RUclips
@@alexshane5713 for real
make sure your therapist is not biased. nothing beats self acceptance for your body as you are - people may argue that transitioning -is- self acceptance, but that's not for them to decide for you.
Please reflect on the problems in your life,.. and try to recognize that your gender won’t make those problems go away.. please, God made you this way,... love yourself as you are. ❤️
The problem is that even therapists are pressured or willing to be gender affirming now.. Whatever you say they agree with. Thats not real therapy ...
Right, that is very true.
YES!!! This has been on my mind so often. It’s like therapists are desperate for notoriety. What better way than having successful trans patients?!
Too many social workers and, yes, scared, softie Psychologists. The APA has gone off the deep end and it's dangerous for people who depend on a psychologist for emotional clarity
This will be an unpopular comment, and it's different for everybody, but in a lot of cases, 17 is just an age that makes people uncomfortable with their socal and sexual lives anyway. I wish people would give their hormones a chance to "transition" into biological maturity to give themselves a chance to make sure what's going on with them before they do something as drastic as transition their body.
I have a child that is trans and that's pretty much All her therapy is...
When you got your hormones at Planned Parenthood, why didn’t they make you get counseling first? I feel like they let you down by allowing you to rush into such a serious decision without first requiring counseling to make sure. You’re a beautiful person btw ♥️
there have been many stories coming from detrans people talking about how therapist they've been seeing for a long time actively encourage their dysphoria and say that they are trans and the feelings that they get are just deep rooted insecurities about who they are and what society wants them to be, basically invalidating the persons feelings about not being fully sure about transitioning. There hasn't even been evidence shown about the history of trans folks and if it actually works and no evidence showing what it could do to them I'm the long run after gender reassignment surgery has been done
They don't do counseling. They just say they do to qualify for federal funding. Their main businesses are to get the kids in, pump them full of chemicals, kill children and sell body parts. They don't want to work against themselves by providing a service that could cost them the actual purpose they have for existing.
Planned Parenthood has always been an unethical organization, from abortion to health services, it’s the most shady place to get any form of healthcare because they liter do not care about you as a patient or a person. All they care about is making money off of you. I hope more shut down so people get actual healthcare instead of being sold a bill of goods,
i was sixteen when i wanted to transition. in retrospect, i am glad i listened to my mother when she asked me to wait until i’m at least 23 years of age. did not take the step luckily
ya wait until you actually grow up and mature a decent amount lol whats up with everyone thinking they're transgender around the age of 12-16 its like being transgender is becoming a trend
@Mustachio Mustache I don't think the issue is so much with it being a trend. I think the issue is that teenagers often feel different and now that transgender is such a commonly known about thing, they think it might be why. It's just people trying to figure out their feelings and everything.
It’s less that “it’s a trend” and more that people are starting accept it now
Also, cisgender people are allowed to know they’re cis at that age, so why can’t transgender people?
@John QPublic I think this ladies story is completely valid but I do not like how some of the conversation points surrounding detransitioning seem to spin off into talk about an agenda to turn kids trans.
Gender is a tricky issue and no one fully understands it.
There needs to be proper self meditation before transitioning but drawing a cuttoff point is hard. If teenagers from 12 could transition say, then you would probably find a lot of people who would change their mind later in life however if you dont let trans teenagers use hormone blockers then you are also causing irreversable changes to that persons body that they later regret.
A compromise is required but calling it an agenda often just gives cause to those who are abusive/ discriminatory to the minority group that is trans people.
@@mustachiomustache5591 i agree it is a trend. Have seen it happen to a friend of mine. Trans is cool now. Look on twitter with the hashtag #transwomenarewomen and you will see how many men are turning trans, as well as females, females transitioning to men now is on the high
From what I've read, the purpose of pretansition therapy is to prevent the need for detransition. THANK YOU for talking about your experience.
It's often a non-challenging check box to ensure that the sex reassignment surgery is paid by insurance with complicit therapists.
I was such a tomboy and now I am definitely not the most girly girl, but I love being a woman!
@Arraw Way ...Huh... being a petite female that is 5’2 103 pounds... I’ve been very successful in sales, mostly dominated by men co-workers and men customers. I’m authoritative, confident and aggressive.
I have no problem being taken seriously.
You can’t generalize people...
@Arraw Way It's only a rule if you buy into the BS the world tells you! Don't be a sheep---Be unique!
Same!!!
Hi, FtMtF here. I cried when you talked about your voice. It's what triggered my detransition, looking at myself in the mirror and hearing someone else was such a wake up.
LGBTQ is all about self love, all I can say is love yourself people. You are unique and beautiful out of the womb. If you really feel the need to change, make sure you are in a good place to make a decision. Emotion should not drive your transition alone.
I’m trans myself, I came out at 14 before it was some kind of huge thing that it is now, I just want to say everybody’s path in life is different and I’m glad you have been able to share your story on here, and I really wish detrans voices were listened to more and I support you.
Did u live in mastic at one time???
I remember you ❤️
Dude you came out before it was some kind of big thing! That's Siiiiiick!
a lot of ppl seem to think to detranisition is attacking trans, its a weird argument
very cult like
That's very kind. Did your realization have anything to do with the innate differences between male and female brains? I'm really curious about this topic.
Most people with gender dysphoria stop it during puberty. The brain develops until age 25, I think it's insane that people can say teenagers should transition.
100%👍👍
Not only that, but some even let their children transition even at the age of 5.
@@cherryblossom6702 I hope I'm not coming off agressive, but I think Its important to note that the only medication that trans kids under 16 get is puberty blockers, if they decide to get off them later they will still have their puberty. they wont do anything that will have lasting impact before 16. there may be some countries where this works differently, but thats generally how it goes.
Born little children brain and body is not fully developed or even make decisions ... some children you give them a little trick for example HESS trick that they begged for like scream their heads crying out and you buy it and they go home and after a while in a slipt of a second Am bored... or they start playing with I dont know buttons instead...
HESS TRUCK
You are very brave to go through this twice and even admitting you made a mistake. I am sure you helped a lot of people. You are a hero.
Hi girl you're pretty
Or... You're born what you are and deal with it like humans did for thousands of years. How bout that?
@@democratsaretrash9366 I didn't say it was a good choice for her.
But try not to get affected by this transitioning-culture as a teen when all your peers are doing the same and it is the universally accepted solution for EVERY self-diagnosed psychological problem!
I just said that considering everything she was brave to admit her mistake and it is good that she warns others to think it over before they do something permanent to their bodies without finding the cause of their distress.
@@democratsaretrash9366 Or... You get some bitches. How bout that?
How about you mind your own business.
This was so incredibly brave of you! I can only imagine how stressful and scary it must be to detransition and potentially lose the support of your community. Someone very close to me is back and forth with this, and I sense that a fear of making her community angry with her, or of lessening the seriousness with which the outside world takes her community. Its ALOT of added weight to put upon ones shoulders on too of the already enormous decisions at hand.
im 48 im male im straight, ive never had any sort of gender confusion or sexual confusion and i am even politically conservative. but i have never bought into the archaic male/female stereotypes that people buy into, which is what confuses me when i see people transitioning and they take on male/female archetypes. there isnt really anything about us about humans naturally that says women have long hair and men have short hair etc... so it always sort of bugs me when i see people transition and it consists mostly of fitting into boring stereotype of male/female. as i said i am male and im straight, but i was also never a macho kind of guy. in fact i was ALWAYS the tallest and skinniest guy in school, and in my teens i discovered musical subcultures such as punk and goth and those sort of things. and i discovered that even though i could never be the big masculine type of man, i found dressing up like a rockstar and doing my hair and wearing makeup and those sort of things worked great for me and i loved it. but i never felt that i was trying to look like a women, i was just a guy wearing make up no big deal. now 20 years later, 30 years later i miss those days more than anything. i am just an average out of shape middle aged guy now, i would give anything to be able to get made up and pull it off like the old days. be young and enjoy it while you can, but dont just get hung up on other peoples male/female stereotypes. dont let other people define you.
transitioning doesn't necessarily have to do with fitting stereotypical female/male archetypes, btw :) Just saying because it seemed like you were equating transition's purpose to filling gender stereotypes when that's,, not really the case. Lots of people can get caught up in toxic gender roles tho I agree!! People should just be allowed to be themselves without their identities being called into question :)
what i was sort of trying to say, and i mean nothing i am saying insultingly or combatively or to be insulting or offensive. i was just saying whenever i see people transitioning and this includes people i have known personally, it seems the first thing they do or their number one focus is to start trying to dress and look like some male or female stereotype. which always sort of bugs me because clothing and hairstyle and so on shouldnt be so representative of gender in that way. lets say people transitioning to male want to take ormones to grow facial hair. but why? because they feel like they cant be male without facial hair, so are black men and Asian or Native American men men that dont have facial hair not real men. is it all about having a beard. i as a guy or a dude or whatever hate facial hair, daily shaving is one of the biggest pains in my ass. like wise people transitioning to women want to immediately take hormones to grow breasts'. because you cant be a women if you dont have breasts. are breast cancer survivors that have mastectomies n no longer real women. i dont know, something about the whole thing rubs me wrong. of course people transitioning want to grow either facial hair or breasts because its a purely surface aesthetic thing, but maybe instead of thinking i am the wrong gender maybe think what the embraces acceptable gender roles actually mean. is it just as simple as saying i feel like i am a man not a women, i NEED to have a beard, i cannot feel complete until i have a beard, like a real man.
@@newwavepop some of what you are describing sounds like concerns many transgender people have about "passing." passing is basically when a transgender person is generally seen as their preferred gender in public; a trans man appearing very traditionally masc, trans woman appearing trad femme. because society has certain stereotypes for genders, sometimes trans people are just trying to adhere to them, rather than transition because of them. the fact any trans person who doesnt try desperately to pass is also mocked and called "fake" or "trender" also does not help this issue.. so even a lot of trans people who really are trans can end up presenting in a more extreme way than they desire in order to appeal more to the public.
buuut most trans people also do have dysphoria about things that are seen as traditionally assigned to their gender, and it can seem as though thats saying those traits are exclusively male or female, but its honestly just as simple as being v uncomfortable with associating a trait with yourself. whether it be your voice or the fact you hate dresses, dysphoria is mostly a discomfort that arises from the fact you've been raised into a role you feel disillusioned from, and you don't want others or yourself to be associated with that role. ofc not all men have beards, and men can hate having beards, and hell even women can have beards! but sometimes, a beard can make a trans man feel more comfortably masculine- or hell, he can just be like any other man who wants a beard... he just so happens to be trans!
You STILL CAN get dressed up and look amazing! You should try it, age is a number not a state of being
oh i have tried it. i know what doesnt work on me any more, and im too vain to half ass it.
People are too concerned with their ‘identity’ and labeling and defining themselves instead of just living these days. No one else cares, you don’t have to explain it to them. Just live honestly and with love and do what you want. People cause so much extra stress for themselves. It’s a hard time to be young.
Well there are people who care-- I know many who are very insistent about gender conformity ("no, you can't wear these kinds of clothes, you are a man/woman"). People get confused about my gender sometimes and would ask me-- if they didn't care, they wouldn't ask. I don't really think it's even a "'these days" things; there were ways of trying to define one's identity from the 20th century too-- getting involved in the hippy counterculture, alternative culture, things like that. I agree with the other sentiments you mention though-- it's not wrong to want to find ourselves, but we shouldn't worry too much about it unless it's unignorable
While I do agree that some people obsess too much over what labels and descriptions to use for themselves, the whole "trying to find your identity" thing has been around for as long as people have been around. As the other person who replied said, people do care about labels and descriptions, even those who say they don't. Nowadays, with more people not being quite as conservative as older generations were, people who don't fit neatly into certain boxes are just trying to express themselves however is most comfortable for them. And with these new genres, subcultures, identities, etc being acknowledged and recognized for possibly the first time, or for the first time in a long time, we want to give them names, provide explanations, and share identities with others. It's partially people trying to make new boxes for themselves, but it's also a way for some people to find common ground with others and feel like they're not alone. Some people use their identities as a crutch, sure, but the majority of people are just aiming for bonds with others and finding out how to live comfortably as themselves.
I was a teenager in the 80s and I was over critical of my awkward teenage issues, but I just couldn't wait till I was an adult and my looks would improve, and I was right, it's just growing pains and changes are normal. I think your right it's really too much on identity and all these labels attached to how you feel about yourself is just normal. Just be your best you and except yourself as you are. Like a book a psychologist recommend to me. Titled: I'm ok your ok.
@@steelhurricane4041 Gonna have to disagree with you on one point, specifically saying that "how you feel about yourself is just normal." I'm pretty sure you mean that all people internally perceive themselves a certain way and yet everyone questions themselves to some degree, but please correct me if I'm wrong about that. With that being said, for trans people, even a lot of detransitioners, the whole point of trying to figure ourselves out is that we don't fit everyone else's version of normal. Our perception of ourselves doesn't match what others perceive us as, at least until we medically transition, which is why many trans people focus heavily onto identity until we get to the point where we're comfortable with ourselves.
Everyone is focused on identity though, it's just that some focus on it less than others. "I was a teenager in the 80s," is how you started your comment, showing that even you care at least a bit
@@tuwuesday mine was different. I sat in the bathroom one evening, figuring stuff out, I was thinking, mommy has this and daddy got that... Then I clicked, why didn't I have what mommy does? Like I'm supposed to? And as I realized that, I blanked out for 10mins being woken up by my mother angry for why I'm taking so long to get out of the bath. I let the water out already. It's never been a feeling, it's been a knowing.
I'm a 52 year old straight lady. I think you are an incredibly beautiful and clever young woman. I applaud your bravery.💖
As a straight 53 year old lady. It has taken me 40 years to realise that you need to love yourself as you are. You do not need other people to validate you as a lovely human being. As long as you don’t hurt anyone doing what you do. Once you learn to love yourself everything else falls into place.
It really does make me sad that the LGBT community doesn't want to acknowledge this issue. They will defend planned parenthood to the grave. This is a real problem and LGBT should never shame you for this. At the end of the day we are all human, trans, gay, straight, whatever you are. We can have these discussions, that is real PROGRESS. Progressive doesn't simply mean acceptance and abandonment to people who are having identity health crisis's. Trans may be the answer for some, but not all! And that is OKAY! Thanks for sharing your story.
I first need to start and say thank you for your support for the most part. I too want what is best for everyone but have to disagree with you on PP. Planned Parenthood doesn't just hand over testosterone. She had to of lied to them about dysphoria. Without dysphoria there is not only no reason to have treatment but you can not be approve unless you pay out of pocket. Trying to figure yourself out is not a reason any MD would ever hand over a highly controlled substance. She herself said she wouldn't want therapy. That is her choice as an ADULT. Every doctor has to ask a series of questions before writing a prescription. Even my highly liberal clinic that focuses on LGBT has an insane amount of questions to answer. I still have to answer to them even after 10 years on T. The fact is insurance will not cover anything until someone is clearly in need. If she would have said what she said in this video, she would have never been given testosterone. The problem here is that many many many people count on PP and other clinics for access to health care. We shouldn't be making life harder than it actually is. There is only so much we can do to prevent people from doing stupid crap like this. Now she made a mistake. She clearly needs to get help. The fact that she thought transitioning had anything to do with sexuality should have been the first red flag. Sexuality is something completely separate. We can't kill access to care simply because someone made a stupid mistake. A complete careless mistake. From watching this video I think she needs to seek help. Well of course she does. This could be something along the lines of borderline personality disorder. Something that should be made very clear is that It isn't just PP that gives access to care like this. It is many health clinics around the globe. Even the one you go to probably has someone that can write a script for someone like me. It just isn't advertised. The first prescription I was written was at a regular clinic in the conservative south. I answered a series of questions and they approved me. You would have to limit access to all clinics not just PP. The real question is why target PP when this is the standard for every clinic? Making it harder for us to get care is no the answer. She could have easily went through the steps to see a psychologist (who doesn't even have a medical license) and answered the questions the same way and still received the same result.
@@beaubreau thank you for educating me I’m not very familiar with the requirements for hormones are! . I agree 100% making it harder is not the answer, but education and making sure someone sees a therapist should be taken more serious! Much love ❤️
@@jujeybeanzz I already regretted writing what I wrote after I hit sent. That is I do wish there was a way of preventing people like her from avoiding this but my bias is also obviously pointing to more access and availability. Why because I benefit from it. As the story of bias goes. I think some of these youtubers don't tell the whole story though. So some of my response came from being annoyed. Even with that said there are probably many confused people out there in her situation that somehow we need to prevent from getting through the cracks. Therapists I think can be wonderful but you have to be willing to see one. Even then, she could have said the same thing to them as her doctors knowing what needs to be said to be approved. For me of course I am biased. No way in hell I would want to see a therapists on the matter. That is, I am a mentally healthy person with a rational. The way I see it is like this... if I can go get breast implants without a therapist I should be able to have them removed without a therapist. To be honest my feelings on this is ego and principal based. I would rather pay out of pocket than see a therapist to have insurance cover my top. Where my bias was lacking is that some people are mentally ill and it has absolutely nothing to do with being trans. That some of those people fall through the cracks but it is far in between. They used to make it to where you had to see a therapist but found that it made more sense to have your doctor sit with you and answer the same questions. This all comes down to it not being considered a mental disorder. The part we are missing is that some people actually do have mental disorders that are completely unrelated to being trans. So it is very much more of a grey area for me. That is, I could have told her she wasn't trans without being a therapist so why is this happening?
@@beaubreau I think people want to be something that gives them an excuse or way out of hard times, not saying all trans people are doing this but it seems that's what keeps the whole "transtrender" phenomenon alive. And also, I hate to say it but the advocates for children transitioning is a slippery slope. They don't want to hurt anybodies feelings or invalidate them, but if we just allow people to believe they are trans without proper guidance then I see situations like this girls happening far too often then they should. But I also have a strong belief that these issues will become less taboo and more important to LGBT+ activists!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💖
I'm a transman (FTM) with OCD, I always have intrusive thoughts of "what if I'm not trans." This video has been in my recommended all summer and I've been scared to watch it out of fear that I'll come to a horrifying realization, and decided to finally watch it since I'm having surgery next month... but after watching it I feel better knowing that i AM trans because I truly cannot relate to most of your story.
If I could suddenly move my whole life somewhere else and have to identify as female and undo what testosterone did to me, I think I'd be pretty miserable. Thank you for sharing!
Exactly the same thought-wise because of OCD, except I'm nonbinary. Had a lot of thoughts like "Shit, what if I am just a tomboy?" or "am I just a bad feminist who doesn't want to be associated with women stereotypes?" And nope to both! Definitely just nonbinary. All the power to women who are confident being women, but that's just not me!
As someone who has no idea what having dysphoria is like, how would you describe it? Does it feel deeply rooted in your biology? Sorry if this is prying, I'm just genuinely curious and never feel comfortable asking people in person in fear of being attacked for asking.
@@thescoon1 check out jammidodger's videos about his transition and/or questions about being trans. He talks about dysphoria in quite a few on them.
@@thescoon1 ruclips.net/video/3sjjd6pmBwI/видео.html
Same thing, except I haven't OCD but I had the same thoughts ^^;
I have a trans gender daughter and every time I mention the possibility of thinking these things through before going through with everything it is viewed as being trans phobic. And when this happens, it shuts everything down and causes a big divide and anger. If my daughter is truly transgender, I will absolutely support her/him. I just want her/him to be 100% sure. Does anyone know who this RUclips blonde haired detransitioner is. I truly want both sides. I love my child and would do anything for their happiness. But I need them to be happy with themselves first. Thank you for this video. It has helped me so much. This story is almost exactly what she/he has gone through in the younger years.
How old is your daughter? She works?
Well no offense but ppl calling asking questions trans phobia are just mentally ill and probably aren’t very intelligent.
Edit: ShapeShifter is a yt channel (I believe they are from Kuwait originally) that talks about how they transitioned Male to Female and are now in the process of transitioning “back” to male. Unfortunately, they had gender reassignment surgery and they gave her a neovagina that they claim doesn’t work. Is painful. Has only a 2 inch depth. And they also say they miss their male reproductive organs and phallus.
I am born female and I got a boob job at 22. Thought I needed it and it would change me and help me feel better. It did not. Actually, I hated it so much. I got depressed, gained weight from stress eating, couldn’t work out and feel good, couldn’t sleep right. This is JUST a boob job. Fortunately, I had my implants removed at 25 and I’m on the mend.
The only reason I shared my experience with plastic surgery is bc it’s altering your being and you might think it’s just skin deep but it can do things to you mentally and emotionally. Ppl make the argument that 16 is a rational age to decide to get your breasts completely removed (top surgery) and to decide to get their reproductive organs changed medically. I just think it’s easy to overlook the possibility of huge mental and emotional problems not to mention physical problems… but like I said I was 22 years old thinking I knew what I wanted and I was so wrong. I hope nobody has to feel the intensity of medically altering something so much bigger, like sex.
I hope the best for your kid.
In my opinion if they are biologically male consider hormone blockers. Based on your families genes the male puberty your child may experience will be permanent. I started taking hormones at 17 for me I was lucky because it stopped further development of my Adam’s apple and thicker facial hair, my voice dropping didn’t cause any issues for me but this isn’t the case for a lot of people. I got lucky with some things but I wish I had started them sooner. A lot of the time blocking hormones for children is used until they reach a point where they can make that decision and be fully sure. If not they can stop taking the blockers and resume puberty as normal.
To give you the other side of the coin there are various risks to be aware of like the risk of osteoporosis and other issues if this isn’t done properly.
Hormone replacement therapy is still classified as experimental and there hasn’t been a lot of research on the long term effects of hormone blockers in humans.
It’s so nice that you are doing your own research as a parent because that means your really care.
@@k.c.2339 No, you can't pause puberty and just restart it. You have to be a fool to believe that. There are ZERO studies that show the long-term effects of puberty blockers, and while some effects will resume (a girl MIGHT resume her period for example) most of what we do know doesn't look that promising. You see, you're putting a pause on puberty but not aging. Your body will continue to grow, but all the necessary functions, aren't coming with you. Those who are on puberty blockers have decreased bone density. There's also an increased risk of swelling in the brain
@@k.c.2339 absolutely NOT, dont try to promote hormone blockers, you realize theyre chemotheraphy drugs right? and that the most common one is lupron (said to castrate people since 2007 so dont even start with this "right wing propaganda" stuff) when an organ lacks corresponding hormones it atrophies, organ atrophy so far isnt reversible, what happens to your cells when exposed to radiation or starving is what we also call atrophy, why do you think the other option is radiation theraphy? cause thats also safe? these drugs are given when the only other option is to completely remove said organ
Honestly, many smokers have this voice. It can sound sultry in certain ways. I think once your hormones are back in balance the voice pitch will go up. Your face is very beautiful and feminine so don’t be concerned.
My voice is pretty similar to her's, not quite the same, maybe a tiny bit less deep, but close, and I'm cis. I don't personally like my voice because it just sounds weird (I don't really mind that it's deep, it's just got an odd sound to me), but a lot of people like it apparently.
The effects of testosterone on the voice are permanent, once her estrogen levels come back up her voice will still be like this :o
She sounds like Kathleen Turner.
I know vocal feminization is a thing, and there is a great video by “impulsive collection DID” who is a mtf trans woman going over how to do it. I don’t see why a woman, who’s voice has been altered by testosterone wouldn’t be able to use the same technique that mtf transistioners use in order to regain some of that feminine quality to their voice. That being said, I think that her voice still sounds attractive and she shouldn’t feel self conscious while still trying to work on it!
Jerry N. She can still try. Some mtf trans women who transition after puberty can sometimes get a voice that sounds female. Voice therapy can help to some extent.
This popped up on my recommended, I don't even know anyone who's trans (that I know of) but I still watched this whole video, thanks for sharing your story it was very informative and interesting
Same, CIS white male, had never even heard of detransitioning before. Just a really fascinating perspective on finding yourself and who we are, like really are as people. I myself have felt the urge to be pretty before, I've called myself a princess a few times, but I'm not gay and I'm not bi. I'm just a straight male that sometimes feels like that picture of Richard Branson dressed as a stewardess.
Good for you!
@@juttyismlisten bitch. You ain't no princess, you a queen! 💞✨
@@juttyism love it 💖
Same here. I was working and it just autoplayed. I think I was watching a Neil degras tyson video about ‘the singularity’ and this came on. But I have to say it was equally as entertaining and I probably learned more from this video lol
There is a huge problem with letting people transition without therapy and a proper diagnosis with gender dysphoria. With therapy so many things could be solved in these cases
I believe most clinics have dyshporia therapy before they let you start hormones, it's a process that takes years:)
@The Mold Kingdom Why did you think that?
The Mold Kingdom I can understand why you feel like that because something I feel like they do. I just wanted to say my tia is a therapist and I can tell she really cares for them. The job can be emotionally draining in a lot of different ways. I just want to say that there are therapists that really do care for your health and make sure they keep your information a private. If they don’t keep it private they can get fired or maybe even lose their license. I am not very educated in this but I hope this helped or anything like that. I hope you have a good day :D
The Mold Kingdom that just depends on the therapist lmao, some genuinely want to help people while others are the just to make money
The Mold Kingdom not every therapist is like this. I'm sorry if you had bad experience, but don't say stuff like this and scare people that need help away from getting it
I'm a straight female but was a total Tom Boy as a kid. I still am kinda. LOL. I always wanted to be a boy, but I am so thankful I didn't grow up nowadays because I may have been labeled gay or trans. I feel for young people today with all the misinformation. I believe that I was more comfortable playing with boys and boys games vs girly stuff because I have probably been male in past lives more than female. Ok, so that's another story, try not to judge, but that could be a piece of the puzzle for some. Great video. My advice is to enjoy yourself however you are. Don't try to be something you aren't. Luckily I have a great husband who accepts the fact that his wife doesn't like dresses, makeup, etc. Anyway, take care. Love yourself and be safe.
ur take on pasts lives is interesting lol, and good for u for knowing who u are.
@@ftgihf467 thank you :)
The root of the problem is the stereotypes for 'masculine' and 'feminine' and how societal standards control our definitions of these terms. Its always better to find peace with yourself regardless of what others think.
I agree in part, but as a society we have been pushing past gender stereotypes. However Trans activists have been locked on to "gender norms" more so than most people in general.
@@GuardianDarkAngel Yeah I agree, and sometimes it creates a toxic environment. "Popular' people and 'losers'. I hate it. It happens everywhere in any social group that lacks proper introspection. Sometimes people like to tribalize any sort of social group they fall into, they don't do it on purpose but it creates a social sinkhole. There were studies done on mice and rat social behavior that sometimes hold true as a comparison... but ONLY because people lack self-awareness and innovation.
Nonsense, gender serves a reproductive function which is more fundamental then the social behavior that pack animals use to enable their pack and group behaviors. Thus, it's probably much more accurate to say that social 'constructs' confrom to gender rather than vice versa. This is supported by the fact all societies in human history have had broadly speaking the same gender roles. Remember biology informs fundamental behavior not the other way around.
@@deathtdow well said
@@deathtdow Yes but it isn't until now that most of our needs are met. Before people worried a lot about getting sick, getting killed by wild animals or other humans, running out of food. Let me refer you to a study on rats search the words "nimh" and "rat study" "rat utopia". Today things are getting so crowded, especially on the internet and people are so..spoiled that we are beginning to exhibit some of the behavioral sinkholes that the rats exhibit.
This is the danger of labels. Kids feeling weird because they don’t have a label to call themselves. You are who you are and sometimes there isn’t a label for it. All these terms for sexualities and gender identification can confuse people. Life is confusing enough. Just be who you are! Who care what category it lands under.
you are one smart person. :)
I was a teenager in the 90's and we hated labels. I remember people getting called out for labeling someone. We just wanted to be ourselves, and that could vary from day-to-day because we were still getting to know ourselves. The birth of social media made us feel like we were all supposed to categorize ourselves, and I can see how confusing it would be for younger people. I wish we could just drop all the labels, be ourselves, and love and respect others for who they are as human beings.
@@Lux_Lethal I was just about to say this, and I told my son this. We didn't want to be labeled. He's already labeling himself and his girlfriend who wants to he called the pronoun 'they". Dude your 12! Quit taking yourself so serious!
Yep. Hard labels suck but she just seemed like a confused tomboy to me. Nothing bad about that. If she waited a bit and got older her hormones most likely would of settled and she would of been fine.
Agreed! Just Be ❤️
It sounds like your journey was heavily influenced by societal norms, which expect us all to fall within set categories. We aren't compassionate enough. We aren't teaching our children how to handle their emotions and learn to love themselves. We aren't prioritizing healthcare, particularly mental healthcare. I'm sorry the road to finding yourself has been so long and winding, but it sounds like you're doing well.
Absolutely! This is my campaign trail - TEACH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. We all would be happier and healthier for it!
Anyone who just listens to 5 minutes of this story can see just how complex this entire issue is. Given how complex these identity issues are, it just makes me so mad how easy it is for children to make decisions that will affect their entire life, seemingly without any serious medical decision making applied. I do not pretend to understand even the smallest fraction of this topic, but surely there needs to be some serious in-depth analysis of each case lasting over a period of time and involving extensive therapy before any irreversible treatment is prescribed. The problem I see is that it seems to be going the other way, where it is becoming easier and easier and excluding parents from the picture.
You're so attractive as both genders, it's insane.
Genes.
Yup. I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to type it and trivialize her video.. but now that you said it - I feel free to say it too. Gorgeous!
Right!
Gross perv
Javier Mondar-Flores stfu
When I was younger I wanted to be a boy just because I was afraid of men and I thought it would be more secure to live as a boy, i'm glad I did not tell anyone about this wish, cause now I know I didn't want to be a boy, I was just scared of being a girl
I feel you
@@ChanaElisheva ⊙.☉ thank you
The things is, trans men arent very safe either
Roxana Pulido the Same sis 🙏🏼❤️ I thooght I could protect my beloved ones better as a man 😊 thoughts Are only thoughts ✨
i can relate. I think you are not the only one. There are a lot of women out there that feel like there are certain things with society that they don't approve of or not feel completely safe/reassuring. I happen to be a young woman and at times i really struggle with accepting myself and my surroundings. i don't lack confidence but at times feel like society is trying to size me up.
Thanks for sharing this. After identifying as FTM for years in high school, it was very difficult for me to detransition socially. I still feel weird bringing it up to people. I really appreciate your openness about your story.
„I thought I looked decent.. sometimes“
Are you kidding me? You are a beautiful women. You don‘t have to change a thing about yourself, just take your time and talk to people that can help you explore your needs (not preferences) and understanding yourself better. Imho the worst thing you can do to yourself is not to give yourself enough time that you need to reflect on yourself. Time is abundant. Hormones can change things so rapidly and leave you with irreversible changes. Better safe than sorry - even if that means that you are not comfortable with who you think you are or should be: nobody is, until they figure out what it is they truly want and need.
I feel like modern kids are being encouraged to find something that’s wrong with them. Growing up can be shitty and awkward and uncomfortable, not really CAN be. It IS. The world we live in is harder each year. It doesn’t always mean that there’s individual problems with each of us.
EXACTLY
Absolutely. We need to go back to the basics, time has shown it's what works. All this "Progressiveness" is making society sick. To anyone reading this do what feels right, not what you think is trendy and will be accepted.
@@seda_514 it means you have gender dysphoria. It’s not bad to have something “wrong” with you
They are being encouraged to find something wrong with themselves. No one is telling them that adolescence is an awkward stage whether you are a boy or a girl and it is normal to feel uncomfortable with your changing body. I am very against junior school children being given detailed information about being trans. Children do not have the understanding or life experience to process this information.
@@flamelily2086 THANK YOU
So I’m a straight white male and tbh I have no idea why this showed up in my feed but I honestly found this video to be incredibly interesting and Insightful. Like yeah I’m not gay or trans or anything but that’s probably why this intrigued me so much because you don’t really hear much about trans people (tbh I’ve never really supported it but idc how someone else lives their life so it’s not for me to decide) and I found seeing her perspective to be so fascinating because it’s something most people never think or take into consideration. We all live our lives the way we want but the end of the day we should all fine what resonates with us and makes us who we are and stand by it. Thanks for sharing and best of luck
Edit: didn’t think this would get as much attention as it did haha
You don't exactly get to "agree" or "disagree" with someone being trans. You don't decide if they have gender dysphoria so it's really not your place.
@Reece Selby I don't think that the other person is trying to argue. what they said is right we don't get to agree or disagree of other people existance. The og, being a straight cis person, has probation never educated himself on lgbtq+ issues so maybe he doesn't understand that even if he said that he doesn't care about what others do he also said that he never supported it and to me it sounded a little bit transphobic, maybe that wasn't his intentions but it's still better to point it out so that he won't make the same mistake in the future. (to the og: you said you were a man so I used he/him if these aren't your pronouns let me know and I will change them )
You don't hear much about trans people? Where do you live? I'm just surprised as I've heard and seen so much about it, esp in the last 15 years.
@@whoareyoutoaccuseme I didn't hear about it alot either until I started following a lot of trans people on Instagram and RUclips and I don't have many LGBTQIA+ people in my social circle. The RUclips algorithm and the community you live in puts you in a sort of bubble and you can go many years without hearing much of trans people. You know they exist, but you are not really educated about this topic until the youtube algorithm somehow recommends something like this and you are intrigued enough to click on it :)
Gibrin MJ Sankara this whole comment is a strawman lol. He never said he disagrees with a trans person’s existence, also what does that mean? Im curious. He also has a right to disagree or agree with someones decision or “existence” as you put it, regardless of what you say. But getting to the point, my understanding is that he is speaking from a place of never actively supporting trans people or the trans movement. This is not bigoted or transphobic at all. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense and if you’d like to, please make an elaboration or statement rephrasing what you just said.
Hey my name is Ryan also. I also detransitioned MTFTM. I have zero regrets, I did exactly what I needed to do to 'reset' myself after finding myself deep in depression after a divorce and young life being a heavy drinker. I consider it my 'Phoenix rebirth' and it saved my life. Sometimes we need fire to burn away the parts of us that do not serve us. Happy for you that you found your way back to your personal power.
Heavy post hoc rationalising going on here.
@@stumbling If that is what you want to call reflection and perspective be my guest.
I think this would have been a good life experience for you, to truly accept who you are, I would assume?
@@z4781 Oh absolutely. It took the darkest chapter of my life and filled it with light and experience. I think of it like this, my male self became traumatized so my female nature rose up to protect and nurture me and took the reins for a while. I healed, and my masculine energy rebalanced. I feel more complete as a person because of the process having known more of myself and a deeper view of people in general.
I love your story. While listening to this video I was hoping she had no regrets like this. I think it is WAY better to experience adapting to your problems and finding the result, even if it is different than you expected. You two never have to worry about being the wrong gender anymore because you understand all sides of it. I recently found out I am genderless. I don't fit in the binary for cis or trans so I am doing lots of research into seeing what kind of things I want to go through. Specially since androgyny is what I am going for, I have a lot of different options about what masculine or feminine things I want in my life.
I do feel bad though that she is having a hard time with her ace identity. I hope she realizes that it is ok to NOT want romantic relationships with people and she does not need to try to "fix" her disinterest in it. I think it was the new life that felt more freeing to her than being male. It sounds like she dropped her past life and didn't talk to people that new her old self. It can be really freeing to leave those who feel entitled to you.
Thank you for doing this video. I've lived my life as a cis woman, married, had children and now grandchildren but have struggled to figure out what the deal is with me and intimate relationships. I've spent most of my life happily single now. Also an introvert and apparently asexual. I do have a sex drive, I just don't really want another participant involved in the action if you know what i mean. I know I'm not gay, I tried to convince myself that perhaps I was, just in pondering, I do find women beautiful, I just don't want to have sex with them. So I decided well I'm straight, but that hasn't worked either. Asexual it is. Hope your detransition is going well and that you've been happy, well other than the Covid thing, this past year.
Yup,I am also asexual ,we are a weird bunch ,it's like we don't belong anywhere ,but I like it
Maybe you are just undersexed? Don’t analyze yourself too much
I’ve been a semi closeted trans man for 3 years and now I’m questioning if it really is me being trans or if maybe I have dysmorphia. This video is helping a lot. There is not a lot of videos of people realizing their not trans. And it’s scary to think because I don’t want to be a “trender”
That's cool you are actually considering the fact you might be mistaken. It's hard for most people to accept being wrong. Learn from people like the maker of this video. You can always de-transition but things will never be the same as the were pre-transition. It would be very wise to avoid having that problem if you dont transition. Either way, whatever you decide, its great to consider every possible outcome. Good luck to you.
Please go get counseling from someone who specializes.
My ex-wife needed to transition such that she ended up with giant medical bills she went into bankruptcy for? So I got the impression that needing to transition is a really hardcore pressure for a number of trans people.
Find a Group to dress up with others with the same issues. But as long as you don’t do anything permanent. Our thoughts and feelings are fickle. Always changing. I changed in many ways throughout my life. Just keep that freedom where you can dress & look how you feel at the moment. Just not permanent. I’m dealing with a few things I did when I was young.
I agree with don't do anything permanent. Stay with doing things that help make you feel comfortable with yourself. Clothes, friends. Counseling might help. I always feel better with group therapy because although psychiatrists and psychologists are trained in ways to help they have not experienced from the inside how I feel. Some groups work better than others so if it doesn't work the first time it probably is NOT you. Just might be a bad mix. And be careful of labels like trender. Just be you. No label needed.
Fluidity is a thing! Maybe you're a touch of both, a two spirit person.
A a trans guy, I went through months of therepy and for years weeded out other causes. That’s where I came to the conclusion I was trans. Being trans takes careful planning and lots of work and therepy to realize who you are. If careful thinking (that takes months) or therepy needs to occur. At the end of the day we are all trying to find ourselves and do what makes us happy. Ultimately if you’re not happy with anything you should change it. You look great btw.
mhm i’ve been in therapy for about a year and a half and i’m still nowhere near ready to come out publicly or start hormones. i think there should be a professional outsider perspective to help transfolk on their journey :)
A male trapped in a female's body?How would you know what if feels like to be a male if you had never been really one?
@@TedEhioghae Yeah your not wrong
My question, as a straight guy, to you is, how have you dealt with the physical element? I mean, I am not in the "toxic masculinity" brigade, but men are.... we fight physically. While I was athletic and pretty tough growing up, I was constantly fighting/fending off physical confrontations with guys who were much bigger and stronger than me. Now that I am older, people actually do depend on me and other men I know to be a sort of physical defense system of sorts (better to have a dog, lol).
But do you know what I mean? That aspect has always been a constant...not even issue, just a reality in my life. How did you feel about now being someone whom society might have fewer qualms about another person punching in the face, versus a female, whom people would almost 100% say not to physically assault.
Again, I am totally not trying to instigate. I am asking about it sincerely because I've been scared as hell physically even as a weight-lifting, exercising, fit, varsity athlete, what have you.
tldr; how has the male propensity to physical violence/fighting influenced your experience as a trans man?
If this question/post irritates you, I can remove it. It really is an honest question based on what I have experienced but not knowing how a trans man would feel about it. (Oh, and for this particular question, I am not referring to bigots who are against you for being trans....I mean just where you totally fit in/pass/whatever, and it's just guys being guys... you're just another dude.)
@Infinite Signy Lol, I didn't and don't fight "on the daily," lol, but it was common growing up, so my question was about dealing with that. It was not fun, and so my question was about that and sincere. So, if you don't like the question, that's fine, but it was asked honestly, and I believe I phrased it in a way that would make it clear that those challenges growing up were not invited but quite common (you might have heard of bullying, haha).
Social life is absolutely not a reason to transition and I hope that’s one of the takes that people digest from this video. Regardless, glad you’re on the path that’s most clear to you now.
I am a truly happy and blessed transgender lady of over 7 years. I loved your video. Thank you for being so open and honest. You are a wonderful, beautiful person. I hope you have an amazing life. Hugs, Robbie Dee
You are a man, Robert.
@@garyoz1821 Well, thank you for your opinion Gary. Please, do tell, by what have you referenced in my life that brings you to such a conclusion? Let's see if you are able to have it a decent conversation here.
@@missrobbiedee6146 Your chromosomes trump your feelings.
No comment?
I can't even imagine how razor-thin the line between wanting to be sure someone is ready to make this decision, but also not make them feel ashamed or judged for taking the step of wanting to change this aspect of themselves.
On a separate note, I hope that you eventually come to knowing that being asexual is not a bad thing or something that needs to be "fixed". And being asexual doesn't mean you have to live your life alone. Companionship is still perfectly fine to want to have, completely separate from any sexual component. I hope you find whatever middle ground it is that you want/need when it comes to companionship vs. independence/individuality.
Being anything is bad if it's forced and not who you are.
Ace positivity my friend 🖤🤍💜
Not that this probably matters, but you are a beautiful woman.
I was thinking the same thing!
Except that she's a piece of work that isn't interested in a relationship....I bet she's supported by parents, doesn't work and self absorbed.....bye felicia
Ramblings of a confused person.....too much medicine 💊
Was she born a girl?
@George Orwell Thank you for clearing my confusion.
Don't beat yourself up. People make mistakes, life is about finding things out. Seek support from people you trust. I think you are a very attractive young woman with a good attitude, If you feel de-transitioning is best for your life and health, do it, You live only once. Stay safe!
Life is also about having children, something you give up when you transition.
You become infertile when you transition from one sex to the other, and you don't get it back if you detransition.
Making mistakes and learning from said mistakes is part of life, yes, but learning from your mistake doesn't matter in the case of permanent consequences like becoming infertile... It's not like you can just say "Okay, i wont be making that mistake again." when the only consequence of said mistake is permanent and irreversible, in which case, learning from said mistake, is irrelevant, because it doesn't fix anything, you've already made the mistake, the damage is done, there's nothing to learn. :P
For humans, life is about predicting the future, so that you avoid making those mistakes... In other words, you heave to learn from the mistakes, BEFORE they happen, by predicting and anticipating them... This is why we have the biggest brains in the animal kingdom. Use your head people... Don't just learn from mistakes, anticipate lessons, predict lessons, learn from the potential future, ffs.
Madao having children is a choice. There are infertile cis-people who are infertile and if they want children they find a way to have them. Use your brains and dont force your priorities onto everyone else, mind your own business and life.
@@xenxenxena I agree with you.
@@MyouKyuubi I was speaking to Ryan and only to Ryan, thank you..
@@xenxenxena You COMPLETELY missed the point, moron.
LOVE that you posted this, even with, and especially with, fears of being misunderstood. Thank you SO MUCH. You said so many things that apply to so many people.
I feel a little weird watching this cuz I'm FTM pre T and I can relate to a lot of what you're saying but in the opposite way (if that make sense) I don't understand why other trans people just hate so much the ones who detransition cuz I'm more sure about me being trans when I see people like you then seeing other trans people. And it's also like something that confirms to myself that I would not regret to transition. I so glad that you did this video. You had no Idea.
@Liam Greenfield I am very disforic about my voice. Every time I talk, I feel like it's something wrong cuz my natural voice is very high and feminine. But when I am talking to myself inside my mind my voice is always a masculine voice. I don't know how my voice is in my dreams cuz nobody speaks out loud it's like telepathy. And I am always a cis man or a trans man when I am dreaming...
@@andkarv Ever think that maybe the masculine voice is just pleasant to you? I don't usually narrate to myself but often hear feminine voices in my head, memories, quotes or I'm reading a female character or some such. never mind the stereotype of the girl with daddy issues, It's called a stereotype for a reason. Also I can do sort of a girly voice, but I don't do it much cause I don't wanna screw up my vocal cord. Hell I barely speak any ways.
@MedusA A Youre either really bored, or a huge idiot. Either way, you're still being an idiot.
MedusA A bitte verpiss Dich und Nerv deine Eltern mit dummen Gelaber. Danke
As someone who was recommended this video seemingly out of the blue (thanks RUclips Algorithm?), I wanted to let you know that your story touched me in a positive way. Your confidence to be able to put this out is admirable, and as someone who knew a few Transgender people in college and has a few Transgender friends now, I'm only surprised I haven't met someone who's met with your complete struggle. What I loved about your video was its genuine and honest nature and I wanted to let you know that your own personality and honesty led me to subscribe to the channel to just share in your experiences. I hope you've found a lot of positivity for taking this risk (In the comments) and that this is just one step in line to many that help you further understand, find and love yourself.. Sorry if that was a bit much. Stay awesome
Teenagers are always tying to find themselves. Trying to latch on to a unique identity. Society offers are these identity labels, but ultimately, that doesn't change who a person really is.
Some join cults.
Well said!
Erikson Stages of Development & Maslow's Hierarchy.
Stfu
@@saadx0x stfu
Honestly needed to hear this. I'm getting into crossdressing and I've always had a part of me that wants to be a girl. I don't have dysphoria in regards to my *bits* but I've never really cared for other guys and preferred hanging out with girls growing up. Grew up in a really religious home that was strict about falling thru with gender roll stereotypes in very toxic manners.
I have a tendency to go over the top when I get into something and impulse control is really hard for me at times. Hearing you talk about detransitioning is kinda what I need to stay grounded and slow down a bit. Thank you for sharing!
Enjoy your natural body, hang out with the girls and indulge in cross dressing. A great life!